This fairytale life certainly hadn’t aged well. Not when the world seemed so determined to drive a wedge between the redhead and her husband. Surgeries, administrative responsibilities, and the pressure of raising their son had taken it out of them, especially over the past few months. Addison was so tired of juggling this, that, and the other thing. Above all else, she was tired of the fighting. In spite of her push for a change, they couldn’t come to an agreement, and she was growing tired of trying, slipping slowly into a learned helplessness and bitter complacency. That scared her more than anything else, having been down the path that she knew lay beyond the death of passion in a marriage once before. She loved her husband dearly, but sometimes she questioned whether they would ever be as they once were. They each had their respective duties to carry out, but where was the fire? The teamwork? Even the thought of it exhausted her.
Lately, they’d seen relatively little of each other. With Gabe growing older, the things that were proverbially supposed to get easier only seemed to be getting harder. Addison wanted to raise their son, but her responsibilities at work were making that difficult to achieve on a regular basis. Her rare days off were spent making sure his lunch was packed, homework finished, and practices attended. There was barely any time to get to know the little man her baby was growing into, and she hated it. Beyond that, she was vaguely aware of the fact that she was growing bitter and resentful, and rather than tearing herself apart for it, she found herself turning those feelings on Alex when she needed an outlet. It was stupid, unfair, frankly immature, and unfortunately beyond her control anymore.
At least tonight, she’d found the time to spend with her son beyond a ritual meal and the other somewhat robotic tasks of their routine. They’d had a good talk, during which Gabriel had asked an astute and pointed set of questions relating to how his parents were doing. Addison feared her reassurance, though heartfelt, rang hollow, and it killed her. Rather than face the firing squad that was her growing boy, she’d assuaged his fears momentarily with an exceedingly rare cuddle and the promise of a movie--one he could pick. It was getting late and she doubted he’d be able to stay up late enough to complete the film, but that didn’t matter. This was time for the two of them, and that meant everything to her.
As her son picked the film and queued it up on the screen, Addison heard Alex creeping over the threshold. An increasingly familiar sense of annoyance and misplaced protective instinct crept over her, knowing that he’d likely interrupt this precious moment and take her sweet boy’s attention from her, but Gabriel’s excitement silenced her deadly look before her eyes could raise to meet her husband’s equally tired face.
“Hi, honey,” she murmured, letting Gabriel’s voice overpower hers as the boy sat up a little straighter, eyes alight with youthful hope. They couldn’t keep doing this. It was written all over Alex’s expression as he tried his best to look ready to spend time with his family. She remained silent as the two most important men in her life shared their unfortunate exchange, her heart sinking as her son shrunk several inches back into her side with half-hidden disappointment. Addison wrapped her arm habitually around her child, rubbing his shoulder gently while her eyes finally met Alex’s. Her expression was unamused, but softened a touch as she read his face, the slightest hint of curiosity sparking within her. “It’ll only take a minute,” she reassured Gabriel, pulling him in closer as if to protect him from the turmoil he was an unwilling participant in. This had to stop. How, she wasn’t sure, but they had to see eye to eye on it. Their futures depended on it.
By the time the taps had run themselves out upstairs, Gabriel was fast asleep, head rested against his mother’s lap. She ran her fingers absently through his tousled brown hair, mind full of troubles that reflected in her worn expression. Something was imminently brewing on the horizon of this evening. She could feel it coming, but she wasn’t sure whether to steel herself for a fight or collapse under the weight of whatever pressure he’d undoubtedly put on them this time. The latter, she mused. The nastiness had always gone on behind closed doors, in moments when their son wasn’t here to bear witness to the ugliness of his parents’ discontent. She wasn’t about to change that.
Scooping him into her arms against sleepy protest, she struggled for a moment to stand under his weight--when did he get so big?--and carried Gabriel up to bed, tucking him in with a gentle forehead kiss for good measure. It was only after she’d shut his door that she let out the heavy sigh she’d been holding in. It was time to face the music, and under the overwhelming sense of dread, there was one small sliver of hope. Something in his expression had piqued her interest, although she was mostly unaware of it. Stepping into the space they had shared intimately for some years now, she shut yet another barrier between themselves and their son, clearing her throat softly to direct Alex’s attention toward her presence. “He’s asleep.”
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