:-)

a random person's reblog blog, don't follow back

[dogpuppy]

[xalatath]

Everybody in the club Yield to my will

[capacity]

I hope you choke on a rock

I have a wet throat

[pukicho]

The loudest guy in the fucking world: hey man

[pukicho]

There's more after 'hey man' but you're deaf now

[nepofledgling]

My favorite banned terms on this site are "suicide prevention" and "safe sex"

[breadcunt]

Fuck nasty and kill yourself inmediately after

[dagny-hashtaggart-deactivated20]

Salmon male grindset

[bgm05]

I miss pjackks jellybean era

[pjackk]

I miss da era where u passed out in bath tub cuz u sneezed to hard and fell your ass right on the holiday dinnerfish and it got scared and jumped in the toilet and swam down da drain

[bgm05]

You promised not to tell anyone about that

[petulantpony]

trying to get a panty shot but she’s wearing a million petticoats and i’m just suffocating in them and my funeral sucks

[kaylmao]

just molted for the first time ama

[evil-sludge]

U feelin' mushy? Easily susceptible to predation..?

[kaylmao]

ok no more questions

[pjackk]

Ok but why are the suckers and losers trying to kill me today

[alexanderwales]

Here's a legal PSA:

If you've committed a crime and a detective gathers everyone involved in the room, especially if he's not actually a detective and is instead a novelist, puzzle-setter, psychic, fake psychic, dog, chess grandmaster, etc. ...

YOU SHOULD NOT CONFESS.

Every year, hundreds of people are put away by non-traditional "detectives" who have either inserted themselves into the case or are working with the police in a dubiously legal capacity as advisor. In 99% of these cases, the murderer gives a full confession even though the evidence against them is circumstantial at best and often requires a long just-so story which can only guess at motive.

If this happens to you, stay quiet, do not attempt to defend yourself or talk your way out of it, only say "I want a lawyer".

Now if you find yourself being investigated by a boy genius, magician's assistant, anthropologist, classics scholar, or philosopher, it's likely that refusing to talk to the police (or investigator with no legal authority) is merely the end of the second act, and by the end of the third act they will have you dead to rights.

YOU SHOULD STILL NOT CONFESS.

Make them take it to court. Force the eccentric detective and his straight-laced police partner to take the stand and explain their methods to a jury of your peers. Have your lawyer look at the chain of custody on the evidence, especially if you believe it to have been handled by someone who has only bumbled into detective work through their natural charm and/or unique set of skills and outsider perspective that come in handy more often than they should.

Know your rights. Don't let eccentric detectives put you away.

[mtndewbajablast]

“i’m autistic” = 👍

“i’m a little autistic” = mark of the beast for annoying people

[mtndewbajablast]

“touch of the ‘tism” = punishable offense

[mtndewbajablast]

cartel style execution

[reallyreallyreallytrying]

people will be like "i'm bored" meanwhile there's baking soda and vinegar in the cupboard. make a volcano dude

[pregnanthudsonwilliams]

i love reblogging posts 🤩🤩🤩

[dogpuppy]

[leonkennedysprostate]

"don't assign human morality to non human things" is so true except when it comes to printers. they know what they are, they understand dilemmas and ethics and morality. they choose to be how they are, they choose to be evil, at their very core they are rotten

[sprachgefuehle]

I just got the funniest caution message at the beginning of a Wikipedia article

[sprachgefuehle]

[sprachgefuehle]

Yeah.

[succubusboyfriend]

practicing self care less out of self love and more for the sheer logical reasoning of it’d be kinda stupid of me to expect myself to be able to function without proper maintenance

[succubusboyfriend]

“oh i don’t deserve rest and relaxation, i haven’t done enough, i haven’t earned it” and my car’s breaks don’t deserve break fluid because they aren’t breaking well enough to earn it. that’s what you sound like!!!!!