sick & tired @antinausea - Tumblr Blog

I do not "count my carbs." I do not think CARB CONSCIOUS. I don't even monitor my TYPE of carb intake. I GUESS my carbs, and if I go hyperglycemic, I RAGE BOLUS AND I KILL MYSELF.

#i guesstimate based on vibes and 18 years of experience #and its a LOOSE guestimation.#i have no idea how many grams of carbs are actually in my morning coffee BUT i know roughly how much insulin i need to cover it #so i get 65 grams worth of insulin for it

hypoglycemia symptoms are so disturbing sometimes but i persevere 👍

#why is my TONGUE numb.#never 100% sure which combination of unpleasant physical and emotional sensations is coming.#my dexcom is reading LOW with an arrow going straight down i love this for me

me, diabetic for 17 years, every time i look at the carbs in a slice of bread: it’s one slice of bread, how many carbs could there be in it? 15?

nutrition facts (mockingly): 22

#oof 😅 !!#this is standard sandwich bread too mind you 😐#i really dont know where my brain got the impression that 1 slice of bread = 15 grams of carbs but i blame the estimations they used #at diabetes camp #<- post that is making fun of myself for not retaining information that is relevant to caring for my health #i am not advocating for avoiding or restricting high carb foods all my favorite foods are high carb!!

noflashlights

im on too much insulin. i dont take enough insulin. i exercise too much, but never enough. i should drink more water less. i eat too much, too little. i had a bad meal, i just need more fibre, less protein and a different carb. i should eat earlier, later, slower, faster. maybe tomorrow

#😐

serotosin

“ew you like diet pepsi?” I AM A TYPE ONE DIABETIC AND SOMETIMES I LIKE TO HAVE A LIL SODIE WITHOUT HAVING TO WASTE MY EXPENSIVE LIQUID THAT KEEPS ME ALIVE LEAVE ME ALONE

#i wasnt allowed to drink soda before i was diagnosed as a kid #so i only ever acquired a taste for diet soda. regular soda tastes way too sweet ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#its cloying i dont like it #also even if you bolus for regular soda its. going to spike you regardless. and i would rather have that happen after high-carb foods than #a liquid form of sugar that does in fact have a perfectly acceptable and comparable sugar free version

its kind of a sick cosmic joke that the majority of my mental illness is a direct result of my diabetes & the way i was treated by people who were supposed to be trusted adults providing care for me after i was diagnosed as a child

like how do you treat complex ptsd when the thing that caused it is something i have to directly and constantly engage with in order to live. i have been suicidal since before puberty because of something that is never going to go away and that i cannot ignore without risking severe or deadly consequences to my physical health. its not something that happened to me that i can move forward from - it happened to me 17 years ago and has been happening to me every single day since. it lives in my body with me. it haunts me.

bearing the burden of a disease that requires relatively intensive 24/7 monitoring and treatment is unconscionable already but when (as it is for so many of us) there is additional interpersonal and/or institutional mistreatment and abuse endured alongside and as a result of the already-traumatic diagnosis of a life-threatening illness, how do you heal? how do you want to live that life?

so much of my daily life is occupied with diabetes management and the administrative activities of being chronically ill and reliant on medication and medical supplies to live & maintain any semblance of quality of life. all of that is time i am forced to spend contending directly with what are essentially ptsd triggers except also the medical stuff could actually kill me - in addition to the actual physical pain and nausea and endless bleeding - over and over again forever until i die 🙃

#and im supposed to work? and act normal? and not scream and throw things?#i love my family but i wish i had killed myself in high school and just been done with it. i am so tired. i dont want this for myself.#there is no peace and i feel stuck there’s nowhere to go no way to get a break no one who can help ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

tritiyum

air hunger isn't talked about when talking about pots when in my opinion its one of the most annoying. breathing in as deeply as possible for a prolonged period of time having to be extremely aware of the way you're doing it but you STILL don't feel like you're getting enough oxygen and you keep yawning and yawning. HORRIBLE

#!!!!! literally #air hunger was my first dysautonomia symptom that i was aware of #& its one of the ones my beta blocker doesnt even touch

quietly-collecting-spoons

My cat is on my lap and I thought she was taking a bath but I checked closer and she was chewing on my pump tubing. hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

#my cat has chewed through my pump tubing more than once while i was sleeping #so now i have to keep it tucked v carefully inside my clothes

antinausea

diabetes tech is so annoying sometimes like dont get me wrong i love my dexcom & my tslim and im very very thankful that i have them and i understand its a privilege to have access to advanced medical technology

but a lot of the built-in “safeguards” are really annoying and frankly unnecessary for most adults. why is my ability to make my own medical decisions being infringed upon by the manufacturers of the devices that are supposed to be assisting us in our care? why can’t i override or change certain settings if i acknowledge the risk associated with that choice?

antinausea

https://youtu.be/B6gIrDO165Q

when a medical supply manufacturer is infringing on my autonomy to make decisions about my own personal medical care

#Youtube

diabetes tech is so annoying sometimes like dont get me wrong i love my dexcom & my tslim and im very very thankful that i have them and i understand its a privilege to have access to advanced medical technology

but a lot of the built-in “safeguards” are really annoying and frankly unnecessary for most adults. why is my ability to make my own medical decisions being infringed upon by the manufacturers of the devices that are supposed to be assisting us in our care? why can’t i override or change certain settings if i acknowledge the risk associated with that choice?

#why does dexcom put banners i have to swipe away on top of my maps while i drive even though i have it set to temporary banners only?#why does my tslim have an alarm i can’t turn off that overrides my vibrate setting that goes off every 5 minutes at an extremely loud volume #when my cartridge is empty?#im an adult if i determine it is not urgent to refill my cartridge i shouldnt be punished with alerts i cannot snooze for more than 5 mins.#all of my alerts are set to vibrate only. this one is apparently not affected by that setting. it goes off every 5 minutes.#my blood sugar has been low enough for the past hour that my basal would be automatically set to 0 if there was insulin in my pump 🙄🙄🙄#also its wasteful for me to change my cartridge before its empty? its expensive given the cost of insulin and pump supplies?#like i understand it’s probably to protect the company from liability and litigation if someone doesnt refill their cartridge and goes into #DKA and/or dies but as an adult i should at least have the option to snooze it for more than 5 minutes or have it set to vibrate only when #im not asleep or something?????#what if i have a work meeting and ran out of time to change it beforehand??? is my only option to turn off my pump completely until i can #refill it?#what if i was in an earthquake and my cell phone died and my reservoir was empty but i still wanted to use my pump as a dexcom reciever?#do i and everyone around me during an emergency just have to suffer?#what about school shootings. or any situation where someone needs to hide from a dangerous person?#its just inconsiderate of the REALITY of the fact that people with diabetes live real lives that dont 1000000% revolve exclusively around #their diabetes every minute of every day until we die #its condescending and paternalistic and frankly doesnt prevent harm from befalling us.

bathroomcube

#waking up to dexcom alerts 😑

diabeticallyhere

I swear I get an email from Medtronic every 6 months that’s like:

⚠️WARNING⚠️

We heard YOU used our INSULIN PUMPS📹 at one point and therefore are probably STILL USING them. We regret to inform you that there are TWELVE (12) variations of INSULIN PUMP that have malfunctioned BADLY enough😕😕 that PEOPLE are SUING us😔😟😯😯 and the MALFUNCTION has been largely reported〽️〽️ and MAY result in DEATH BY DIABETES.💉💉💉😰🫣🫠😣 Please stop using our products for now❗️ but please KEEP using all of our products in the future 😊😊😏😏😏😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘

type1diabolic

ATTENTION MEDTRONIC PUMP USERS: are you mad at me?

#😭😭😭

ive been extremely triggered re: medical trauma & parents etc the past couple weeks and the past few days have been especially bad BUT i got my dexcom set up and im so happy with it rn like. no calibrations needed and no errors so far & its accurate even though im dropping….wrow

#ive been stuck w the medtronic cgm for the past. 4+ years and it does NOT work for me lmao #like i know dexcom isnt perfect either and i fully expect issues to come up but its exciting #also the insertion is sooooo much better than the last dexcom i had waaaay back in like. 2010-2012.#i have a visceral memory of putting in a dexcom 4??? sensor and pulling the inserter out straight instead of at a 45 degree angle on reflex #bc my pump sites went in at 90 degrees and i had only done a few sensors.#and it hurt so bad and scared me so much i never used my dexcom again #legitimately traumatizing #and this one i pushed one button and it didnt even hurt 👍🙏

antinausea

tachycardia is wild like im literally chilling sitting on my couch watching xmen no negative emotions no anxiety but i feel like im having a fucking panic attack bc my heart rate wont go under 100 -_-

antinausea

i think what rly bugs me is that its not even hot out right now. its been cold all day i dont get it

#i expect this when its hot or even just warm outside but its 57 degrees. im wearing a hoodie.

tachycardia is wild like im literally chilling sitting on my couch watching xmen no negative emotions no anxiety but i feel like im having a fucking panic attack bc my heart rate wont go under 100 -_-

#i had ONE mikes hard lemonade. i TOOK my beta blocker this morning. broooo.#i hate it here i cant do anything.#& its not even severe tachycardia like i know its not rly that high but it’s uncomfortable and theres no reason for it

my tilt table test is tomorrow so im off my beta blockers and can i just say trying to shower w no beta blockers is miserable. im hot im sleepy im wrapped in my towel leaning on the wall to recover my legs are red im lightheaded

#i Need my 40 mg propranolol 2-3x per day or else i suffer.#i s2g if the ttt results come back normal im gonna be pissed 😤

zurko48

Sleeping as a diabetic is just: *wakes up low* *eats food and goes back to sleep* wakes up high and gives myself a shot and downs a bottle of water* *goes back to sleep again* *wakes up again because my cgm is about to die because I forgot to charge it* *goes back to sleep* *wakes up to pee bc I downed an entire bottle of water earlier also my blood sugar is high again so I’m giving myself ANOTHER shot* and it just goes on like that forever…

#SICK OF IT

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