Although I didn't start using this blog as a kin blog until later in the month, on this day (July 16) exactly one year has passed since I discovered I'm Fictionkin! You all are very kind and welcoming people and I was in for a pleasant surprise when I joined this community.
In fact, the whole revelation was a bit of a shock - you'd be surprised the me from 2020-2022, maybe even earlier 2023 is the same person as me from July 16, 2023 onward. It's something I would not of even considered at that time let alone viewed myself as, but in doing so, I have opened myself up to new things and experiences, reconsidered things, and improved my life in ways even past this identity - I'm even a nicer person for it now (though still have some ways to go obviously). It actually triggered a broader spiritual awakening since I'm spiritual fictionkin and for the longest time I've been rather materialistic, with changes in this regard only coming very slowly in the earlier parts of the 2020s and honestly not a substantial change.
Funny thing is that in Early 2021, I did discover two Systems on DeviantArt. Said systems recently joined the site and they were actually posting art of what they looked like insys, and they were fictives / mobians. I only vaguely understood it ("So...they ARE that thing?" - me prolly, 2021) but my reaction was without hostility; it was actually intrigue and acceptance, despite the fact I was trying to act like kind of a hard ass back then for no reason other then I thought it made me look cool when in reality it was just obnoxious and also because I had the wrong takeaway / idea from a former friend group. Stumbling across those Systems did make me research into these types of things and even if I didn't find what I was or should of been looking for, that itself was indeed worthwhile. Worth clarifying I didn't directly ask them anything or talk to them, and pretty much never saw anything else of this sort throughout the rest of that year.
In 2022 though it started getting interesting since I was moving away from how I was at the start of the decade and more to how I am now (the awakening essentially accelerated it / came to the natural conclusion faster). Around that time I was mainly looking for a place / community to settle on the internet and alternatives to the sites I was already using, especially for fandom spaces (my Tumblr was originally made in this capacity but it obviously was not useful under the pretenses of what I was looking for). In a few games and websites (ironically not Tumblr), I kept seeing people who were kin and stating so on their bios, using pfps, in-game avatar being their kin, so on and so fourth. Good chance a few were systems as well. Once again I had a vague understanding of it but of course didn't talk to them about it and this time didn't bother to look into it before dismissing it - both cases I had a "ah well" attitude and moved on it seems. But the term, Kin, it stuck with me. Obviously this is because...something felt familiar about it, like some part of me correlates to it.
Come 2023, I stopped seeing any of this stuff. But on July 16, a few days after my birthday, the term randomly came to my mind again. "So what DOES Kin mean anyway" I thought, so I looked it up and well...that's when it happened. It all came back to me, all the canon memories I've had since I was like 11 to 12 that I was - as mentioned before here, not really suppressing but definitely disregarding since I didn't know what it was or what to do, or really could do anything with it (what could a like 12 Year Old do about this tbh) but it was harmless so I kept it in the back of my mind - they flooded in and I finally paid attention to them. I pretty much connected the dots immediately, and the ensuing homesickness I felt, the shock of the revelation, understanding who I was? it brought me to tears.
I didn't know what to do at first and mostly kept to myself for a few days, before joining an adult only Sonickin server. I wasn't very active there but said server is small I kind of had to be eased into it, eventually joining another, larger server and becoming much more active there. Then I started posting canon mems and my experiences on Tumblr around the end of the month. I must say, I think it happening right as I became an adult was for the best - feels more responsible that way. As mentioned before, even outside of spirituality and kinning, it made me rethink a number of things. Over time I still had to get comfortable and not be so timid and shying away from things like I was initially, but it was made evident it was a welcoming community.
And of course I saw it was of no harm and that I'd be accepted, which was...well, that was probably the main thing I was worried about. But obviously there was nothing to worry about, and I'm glad I gave it a chance. Some of the best people I've met on the internet have been through here. Ever since 2018, I didn't feel like myself if that makes any sense, like I was just there and happened to exist with no sense of identity or self whatsoever, and when this awakening occurred, I gained it back. In a way I felt whole again.
If anyone is wondering, yes I'm still doing those two ROM Hacks about my Tails canon though as of late I've been kind of a lazy bum regarding them specifically and also recently I've been occupied with yet another, similar thing about said canon (I'll get back on this later). At this point I should probably enter the next stage of those hacks though, there's not much left to do with regards to the side of things I've clearly just been dragging my feet on and stalling.
Thank you all for reading and for the wonderful time I've had this past year with everyone!
