FIC: "The Game Of Who Needs Who The Worst"
Setting: 1904
Characters: Sirius Black, Antonius Malfoy (slash)
Rating: Mature, NSFW
Complete: ~ 2,350 words
With absolute certainty, Antonius Malfoy knew this wouldn’t be a usual visit with his best mate, Sirius Black. Antonius had known since receiving an owl from him earlier in the day. Sirius had offered his invitation for spirits far too formally; as if it pained him to ink each syllable on the parchment. Even the way that Sirius had signed his name wasn’t in the style of his casual correspondence. Antonius could notice Sirius’ idiosyncrasies better than his siblings at times.
Upon entering the Black manor, the tension was palpable as Sirius led them to his private study. Sirius never met his eyes during entry to make matters worse. Sirius felt miles away from him, a feeling like no other. Antonius took a seat on the oversized chaise as Sirius turned to look for a drink. Antonius felt his skin prickle on the back of his neck as he imagined the possibilities for Sirius’ change in behavior. Antonius’ throat tightnened realizing that only a change in their relationship would be enough to cause such a drastic shift in his best mate’s behavior. It was clear that Sirius had invited him over to speak of the most intimate of matters. Something so severe that could not be said over owl either.
Sirius knew. He was sure of it. Antonius blinked quickly as his heart fell with remorse. On impulse, he decided to break the silence first. He would accept the consequences and not play the coward or the deceiever. He owed Sirius that much and more.
Antonius stood and walked quietly to his best mate. He was fully aware that a wand could be drawn at him at any time, but he would not reach for his own. He preferred to be punished than enter a duel with him.
"Sirius." He spoke without reservation in an even voice. "There is no excuse for my actions." His posture was straight and his eyes were set.
Sirius had his back turned to him, still looking into the large cabinet of imported glassware and spirits. He’d been aimlessly standing in the same spot since they entered the study.
Sirius slowly turned around, dropping the fire whiskey decanter on his desk without much care. An empty glass tumblr was held firmly in his right hand. To Antonius’ relief, Sirius’ wand was nowhere to be seen.
"That is all you have to say." Sirius stated with a cruel lip and the lines of his fine face were hardening.
"I do not know what else I can say." Antonius replied with a hesitant head tilt. "I cannot imagine that you would accept an apology for my betrayal."
An apology would be empty words. An apology wouldn’t change the fact that he had an affair with his best mate’s wife. No— they were beyond apologies if their friendship was going to recover from such treachery. All along, Antonius had shamelessly risked Sirius learning of Hesper’s infidelity. Truthfully, he ended his relations with Hesper because of Sirius. Antonius could not handle the remorse that he felt, perhaps the only remorse which he had ever experienced in his life. He painfully regretted breaking his loyalty to Sirius.
"I want to know how." Sirius said stiffly, not moving from his stance.
How, Antonius mouthed silently in confusion. Surely Sirius did not want to know the specifics of when and where he took Hesper to bed. His eyes narrowed as he determined an appropriate answer for him.
Sirius’ grip on the glass tumbler turned his knuckles white as he waited for Antonius to speak up. His patience was cracking.
"Hesper was melancholic." Antonius confessed plainly. She needed someone in her life that could excite her and he’d wanted to be that person for years. She deserved to be showered. "I misplaced my passion. I was not in the right mind to take advantage of her. I am solely at fault for this mistake."
"Do you consider me an idiot?" Sirius spat.
Antonius held his position, not flinching at the hostility.
Suddenly— Sirius threw the glass tumbler at him. It happened so unexpectedly in the air, but Antonius caught it before impact and with an unsteady hand, he set it down on the large desk.
"I want to hear you say it." Sirius demanded and Antonius swore that he’d be hexed in the next second.
Antonius’ bright blue eyes bore into Sirius’ in confusion. Sirius quickly rounded the corner to face him.
"Say it, you disgrace." Sirius was overwhelmed with his fury as he attempted to back Antonius into the desk. "Say that you love her. Tell me the ways that you love my wife."
Antonius couldn’t say such a thing aloud to Sirius, nor could he find a voice to deny the accusation. For it was true, unquestionably— Antonius was madly, desperately in love with Hesper Gamp Black. He could not imagine ever loving another woman like he loved her.
"I ended it." Antonius swore, his voice was pained despite his best efforts to conceal his emotions. "I will never touch her again."
What happened next, Antonius could have never predicted. All the color from Sirius’ face drained. His unshakable, hard as stone of a best mate looked like he was dying. Antonius’ mouth fell slightly open as Sirius walked backward, leaving a reasonable distance between their bodies.
"I did not—." Antonius choked and walked forward to place his left hand on Sirius’ forearm. "I underestimated your love for her." An apologetic expression graced his face, but Sirius’ eyes remained tight on where his hand met his sleeve.
Still holding Sirius’ arm, Antonius braved moving in closer to capture his best mate’s gaze.
"Hesper is not the problem." Sirius admitted quietly to his strained ears.
"She does not love me." Antonius replied, reaching for a way to comfort Sirius.
"Yes! Yes, she does!" Sirius snapped shouting, tearing his arm from Antonius’ grip. "How do you think I discovered her indiscretion? It’s in the way that she looks at you when you walk in the bloody room. She never looks at me like that. She would never stray for anyone else. No one else is as worthy." His rage was all consuming as his hands went to the lapels of Antonius’ jacket. He shoved him against the wall with such force that seemed inconceivable.
"I do not—." Antonius started to say, his entire spine was aching.
"Shut your mouth." Sirius interrupted him. "Hesper is not the problem." He repeated his words. He laughed bitterly.
"If you propose a solution to the problem… I am willing." Antonius pleaded, truly becoming anxious by the situation. "I am."
"She has you!" Sirius answered shouting and he shook Antonius against the wall. He winced at the following bruises. "And I do not have you. I never will." Sirius suddenly looked disgusted by his own confession and released his hold.
Antonius took a couple of breaths when Sirius eased off of him. “What do you speak of?” He questioned and placed his hands on Sirius’ shoulders to steady him and look him in the eyes. “I would rather die than leave your side.” He promised with a hard stare.
Sirius searched his face for acceptance. “No, this is wrong.” He shook his head, attempting to disengage from Antonius. Antonius held him in place with equally little effort.
"I can never have you— the way she has you." Sirius admitted, wanting Antonius to understand his true meaning.
Antonius remained completely still.
Sirius’ right hand reached up and cupped Antonius face in what only could be described as a caress. His thumb traced against Antonius’ lips before allowing his hand to drop away in defeat.
Antonius’ eyes widened in realization. Amazingly, he didn’t have to think twice about a solution. “There are no problems between us.” He replied determined as ever. Antonius’ hands went to Sirius’ cravat and he kissed him on the lips. The kiss barely touched their lips as Sirius’ turned his face away from him.
"Stop." Sirius protested, as if he was begging, if he were capable of begging.
"It’s what you want." Antonius replied into the crook of his neck. He was willing to give Sirius whatever he wanted.
"Do not pity me." Sirius scoffed quietly. He never anticipated revealing his true, forbidden feelings in such a display. He felt weak and he hated it.
"I would never." Antonius replied with a half-chuckle as he pressed his lips against Sirius’ neck. Sirius shut his eyes tight as he battled the situation in his head.
"Let me fix this." Antonius whispered in Sirius’ ear. "We can fix anything." He moved to recapture Sirius’ lips. This time, Sirius tenatively accepted the kiss until it deepened.
Out of breath, Antonius pulled back and Sirius released his bottom lip. “You are all I have.” Antonius promised and he was sincere. The words rang true. Antonius did not love Sirius like a brother. He loved him more than a brother. He could not imagine a life without Sirius and if the solution to their problems was offering his body, he would oblige him.
Warmth filled Sirius’ eyes and Antonius recognized the repair in their relationship. He could see the anger literally escaping from Sirius. “You have Hesper as well.” Sirius mused.
To this statement, Antonius quirked a brow. “But she is yours.” He replied with a small smirk.
A wickedness crossed Sirius’ face, much like his best mate’s true demeanor, as he cupped Antonius’ face. “Both of you are mine.” He grinned, pulling him closer. “Therefore, you are each others.” He pulled Antonius tight against his body, making him feel his arousal.
Antonius was not sure what Sirius meant by his words, but it would sort itself out eventually. It was difficult to think as Sirius’ lips were kissing his with bruising intensity. It occurred to Antonius that Sirius had previous experiences with other men. There was a sense of familarity to his actions. Antonius was intrigued to say the least, as he could have never suspected to embrace him in such a manner. It was unconvential, but not unpleasant, he decided.
A push and a shove seconds later, Antonius was laying on Sirius’ desk. His cravat was long thrown aside and his shirt was already parted down the middle. A few buttons had hit the floor. Antonius hissed as Sirius’ hot mouth slid down his chest. He closed his eyes enjoying the sensations, feeling himself harden in response. It did not surprise him that Sirius would be this demanding. This was brilliant, Antonius thought with a lazy smirk on his face, as long as someone didn’t decide to look for them.
Antonius lifted his hips on reflex as Sirius’ hands pulled on his trousers to remove them. He raised his head from the desk, looking at Sirius curiously as he hovered over him. “You are overdressed for our activities.” He quipped, not knowing what would happen next.
Sirius didn’t reply as he got on his knees in front of the desk. Without saying another world, Sirius took Antonius’ fully hardened length into his mouth. Antonius squirmed for a moment underneath his unrelenting tongue. It’d been a long time since Antonius had received this form of oral pleasure. He would never ask a lady like Hesper to degrade herself for his selfish needs.
Sirius sucked around his soft flesh, causing both of them to moan in unison. Antonius’ hips raised in excitement and in response, Sirius pushed him firmly down on the desk. Antonius was trapped in place and he would not complain either. Sirius continued to vigorously suck and stroke him, releasing his precum into his waiting mouth. Antonius hissed louder, he could not help it, as Sirius bobbed faster around him and his hands grasped his balls in circles. As Sirius stroked his length with his hand, his lips and tongue took special consideration of his head. Sirius swirled his tongue, tracing the lines of his most sensitive flesh.
Antonius was quickly nearing the end of his control. Sirius had been frenzied in his assault and spared Antonius of any teasing. Antonius felt his muscles clenching on their own accord as the back of his head banged against the wooden surface of the desk. He didn’t mind the self-inflicting pain. Antonius yelled a praise, but he did not even register doing it, as satisfaction overtook him. Antonius felt like he was floating as he exploded into Sirius’ mouth. Sirius swallowed and continued to clean the area with his tongue. Antonius sucked in some air as he gazed up at the ceiling of the study. He looked down in time to see Sirius’ eyes attatched to his. There was utter possession and satisfaction in his eyes, which Antonius had never seen prior to this night. Fortunately, Antonius was too satisfied to be unnerved by the gaze. He sighed, sitting up on his elbows as Sirius stood up.
Sirius silently asked him about the smile on his face.
"How wonderful it is that you do not have any portraits in your study to critique you." Antonius joked as he sat up further to put on his trousers. Sirius conceded with a smug expression on his face.
Not bothering to button his shirt, Antonius stood in front of Sirius. He sensed trepedition in him which annoyed him. Antonius hand reached out and landed on Sirius’ chest, pressing hard enough to feel the muscles beneath his clothes. Antonius nodded, thinking how simple it was to touch him now.
"You should have told me." Antonius confessed, removing his hand. "Before Hesper, I mean." Or Hesper was possibly how Sirius had discovered his deeper feelings for him; Antonius wasn’t sure but it didn’t matter.
When Sirius didn’t reply, Antonius continued. “How did you think I would react?” He asked incredulously. “I have always accepted you… This is just another part of you.” Antonius promised with a shrug and sealed his words with a kiss. After every secret that he had kept for Sirius, separation was no longer an option.
The End [The Beginning]














