forgiving myself today, locking in tomorrow

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almost home
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noise dept.
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me

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Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
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$LAYYYTER
Fai_Ryy

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todays bird
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
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@anxiousmarvel
forgiving myself today, locking in tomorrow
what if it all worked out in my favour
I worried a lot. Will the garden grow, will the rivers flow in the right direction, will the earth turn as it was taught, and if not how shall I correct it? Was I right, was I wrong, will I be forgiven, can I do better? Will I ever be able to sing, even the sparrows can do it and I am, well, hopeless. Is my eyesight fading or am I just imagining it, am I going to get rheumatism, lockjaw, dementia? Finally I saw that worrying had come to nothing. And gave it up. And took my old body and went out into the morning, and sang.
Mary Oliver, “I worried”
no i dont want to ‘ask chatgpt’ i want to go to a wikipedia page and spend half an hour reading an article like a real person
5pm on a lovely winter's day
those days where your entire train of thought is just “I CAN’T FUCKING DO THIS I CAN’T DO THIS I’M NOT GONNA MAKE IT PLEASE HELP ME” and whole time ur just like. sitting at your desk completely fine
it is funny to hear that wikipedia is apparently losing site visits to AI because let me tell you wikipedia is not losing site visits from me I am all up in that bitch 24/7 I am reading her down like an enemy I am on wikipedia like white on rice
i want to get a master's degree i want to take a cake decorating class i want to dance i want to sing i want to write and remember how to think i want to swim i want to be free
pretty sure i could romanticise anything, i am deeply delusional.
fighting demons (thoughts & embarrassment about self expression)
“how’s life?”
me: "everything’s on track"
the track: