▓ self para ╳ carry me home.
Close your eyes,
Can you feel it? (x)
the gun’s holster was tight and she could feel the burn on her skin despite her jeans. that was all ana could think about - not the chaos that was about to ensue within the eighth district, or the collateral damage that would surely take over like a wave. the belt dug into her thigh whenever she shifted in attempt to find comfort, and she couldn’t stop shifting, earning herself a few distraught looks from her fellow rebels, whose names she didn’t have time to memorize.
the overtaking of the eighth district required the complete control of their textile factories, which meant even the systems had to be brought down. that’s where ana would come in, ana and many others like her, assigned to the many other factories. her job was small. but this is where all belle’s teaching would come to worth. the stick drive was hanging around her neck on a silver chain, ready with the malware that would facilitate the hostile cyber attack. she was supposed to be accompanied by two rebels while the other incapacitated any peacekeepers and loyalists and filtered the place as much as they could from civilians.
it all happened in a rush she was all but deaf to; for safety, she had to wear ear plugs, she couldn’t be too dissociated by the pain that came with the sound of gunshots. she had to focus, and she did focus. screens seemed to protest at her presence within their vicinity, she took out the ear plugs to be completely aware of her work and the threat surrounding her. she was not welcome inside the control room but she’d made her position. ana unhooked the stick and plugged it where it should be, her eyes never leaving the screens. it took her a moment, maybe three, she felt like everything was progressing in a painfully sluggish rate, and the sound of heartbeats filled her head. live. belle had told her.
the door was slammed open, and ana reeled, her hand reached for the gun but froze mid motion. in the doorway stood her brother. the whites of his peacekeeper uniformed were tainted with the blood of the people she fought with, and his gun was cocked and ready. the moment of shock faded and she curled her hands around her gun, holding it ready, her thumb flipping the safety off.
“i had to know it would be you of all people.” poison dripped in every word, words she knew he hoped would be enough to take the life out of her. the pity she felt for her brother was endless. like many others, he was just brainwashed, his sense of right and wrong simply just…standardized in the wrong. but he held a gun now, he was ready to kill her. she had to be ready to kill him too. her eyes flickered to the screen - sixty-seven percent.
“you know dad died, right? slater never came to visit. he wouldn’t bring annie either, even though i begged him to.” ana’s jaw tightened – she didn’t know her father had passed, “did you even know he was sick? he was sick long before you decided to go insane and become an avox. but of course you didn’t know. you’re always going to be selfish, ana.”
maybe he was hoping she’d shed a tear for a father she never really believed loved her, maybe he thought that would make her falter, but that only made her finger twitch over the trigger. “you don’t even care. typical. you never cared. you ruined this family.”
ana’s silence suddenly became the heaviest it has ever been. she wanted to scream at him. she was doing this because she cared. he was wrong. she didn’t ask anyone to join any rebellion. she didn’t force anyone into dying for this cause. but he would never understand, she thought, because she knew he would never put his life before the president’s. eighty-three percent.
ana shifted so that her body blocked the screen, camouflaging her movement in an attempt to get a better shot at him. “you know, i almost broke that peacekeper’s face for lashing you like that.” her breath caught in her chest, “you were my little sister. i loved you.”
i loved you. ana’s brows knotted into a frown, her arms lowering only slightly. gage seemed to take that as a sign to continue, “i hoped they’d killed you. i really did. then you came back a year later…i’d rather you have died than become a traitor.” her eyes hardened again. ninety-five percent.
was she really going to shoot her brother? no. she couldn’t. and even if could, she wouldn’t. he was her brother. he could call her all the traitor slurs he could find in the world but it wouldn’t change the fact that he was her brother. he was her blood. and wasn’t blood what she was doing this for? it started for family. it had always been that. ana lowered her gun.
the strength of the bullet that buried into the center of her chest was what knocked her body down onto the ground. her chest flooded with blood, her lungs filling up with the crimson essence of life that would become her own demise. at first, the pain was sudden, sharp, epicritic and it spread out to her every limb. she could feel her arms fasciculating to rid of the pain, her chest stuttering as her body struggled to fill what little air pockets in her lungs remained. the light suddenly went out - not because ana went unconscious - but because the malware worked, the system was down. the emergency lights blared, flickering above her in an alarming red, and between its blinks she saw her mother’s face as she knelt above her.
“mom?” she heard her own voice for the first time in a long time - her bloodstained lips moved too, but the voice was only in her head, as was her mother. “i did it, mom, i did it.”
“you did, baby.” her mother’s hand reached for ana’s hair, and she felt the fingers comb through the dark tresses. “you did good, ana. now it’s time to go.” her mother’s voice was enough to soothe ana’s pain, and it became a dull aching she could hardly feel. in fact, she could hardly hear the alarms or the gunshots anymore. she couldn’t see someone barging into the control room, or her brother getting subdued by the other rebels. her world blurred and the only sharp lines she could see were her mother’s. she got all the validation she needed from her mother’s words, her head shifting in an attempt to nod as her lids fell heavy over dulled hazel eyes.
she’d done good, and now it was time to go.
