and he is smiling

things you find in the drain

[recoiles]

account where i say things that are either too unmanageable to keep in my head or too stupid to put anywhere else.

also art!

adult blog. please proceed with caution

[ava-deb]

SAMARA WEAVING as GRACE MACCAULLAY in READY OR NOT 2: HERE I COME (2026) dir. Matt Bettinelli-Olpin & Tyler Gillett

[elizabeth-salvatore]

MARGARET QUALLEY + THE LIP BITE™

Once Upon A Time... In Hollywood / The Substance / The 82nd Golden Globes

[4-5-25]

band of lace made from human hair, likely worn as a bracelet, 17th century, from V&A

[recoiles]

so excited to see charles shelby in the new series i have to say. and charlie heaton is fun casting

[local-lesbian-tree-demon]

they should invent a body that feels normal to be inside of

[cillianmurphys-world]

Cillian Murphy behind the scenes of the series peaky blinders Season 4 Episode 5

[radioactive-earthshine]

Not sure why it's a new trend among fic readers to assume if the fic has not been posted within the week it's inappropriate to comment on it, like the fic has to be hot out of the oven to give feedback for.

I got a comment on a fic that is less than a year old and it was mostly an apology for being a comment on an "old fic" and how late they were in commenting.

Just comment on the fic. Doesn't matter how old it is.

[recoiles]

always write your dreams down when you first wake up and you’re all bleary half asleep because you forget the dream, you forget what you’ve written, meaning that you get to re read these funny little narratives later on like bits of surrealist fiction written by Dream You

[recoiles]

i just think it's a bit convenient that we're so readily referring to people as 'irredeemable' and 'monster. however abhorrently somebody might behave, using these terms to describe a person absolves a very specific group of people of any financial or social responsibility. if somebody is mentally ill, there is an obligation to treat them. if somebody has been broken by their environment, there is an obligation to help them. if somebody is both perpetrator and victim, we are compelled to rehabilitate them because there is still a part of them deemed 'worth saving.

if someone is irredeemable, however, a monster, it becomes a much more straightforward problem and crucially, one that is much cheaper to solve. the monster is just a monster. they cannot be made human, they cannot be reasoned with, they cannot be rehabilitated, and thus the only task we're left with is the destruction/banishment of the threat they pose. much less hassle to throw something out than to mend it, which is absolutely a sentiment we have historically applied and continue to apply to people as much as we do to fast fashion and electrical appliances.

by reducing human beings to these absolutes - monsters and demons, irredeemable fucking bastards, and so forth - we are essentially giving the go ahead for a human scrap heap. bedlam, essentially, of the modern age, where we've already (allegedly) cured and rectified the more palatable problems created by the human condition, and all that's left behind are those who are simply too 'evil' to be dealt with because in the most extreme cases we can't be bothered to understand why, or in many instances we're simply too hurt and too afraid to lean in for a closer look. yes, people must be held responsible for the damage they inflict and i’m absolutely not setting out to diminish or invalidate the devastating effects of human cruelty, but i just think its important to recognise that as soon as we start writing perpetrators off as monsters, we are putting out a very disturbing message. one whose effects will eventually trickle down and reach those of us who, through the impending lens of fascism, might one day be viewed as monstrous and irredeemable ourselves.

[recoiles]

granted this stinks of privilege because not everyone has a chance to psychoanalyse the bastard that hurt them and sometimes its more important to Just Survive and Protect Others From Same Fate. but in terms of labelling, i do think we could stand to err away from terms such as “monster” and “irredeemable”

[recoiles]

i just think it's a bit convenient that we're so readily referring to people as 'irredeemable' and 'monster. however abhorrently somebody might behave, using these terms to describe a person absolves a very specific group of people of any financial or social responsibility. if somebody is mentally ill, there is an obligation to treat them. if somebody has been broken by their environment, there is an obligation to help them. if somebody is both perpetrator and victim, we are compelled to rehabilitate them because there is still a part of them deemed 'worth saving.

if someone is irredeemable, however, a monster, it becomes a much more straightforward problem and crucially, one that is much cheaper to solve. the monster is just a monster. they cannot be made human, they cannot be reasoned with, they cannot be rehabilitated, and thus the only task we're left with is the destruction/banishment of the threat they pose. much less hassle to throw something out than to mend it, which is absolutely a sentiment we have historically applied and continue to apply to people as much as we do to fast fashion and electrical appliances.

by reducing human beings to these absolutes - monsters and demons, irredeemable fucking bastards, and so forth - we are essentially giving the go ahead for a human scrap heap. bedlam, essentially, of the modern age, where we've already (allegedly) cured and rectified the more palatable problems created by the human condition, and all that's left behind are those who are simply too 'evil' to be dealt with because in the most extreme cases we can't be bothered to understand why, or in many instances we're simply too hurt and too afraid to lean in for a closer look. yes, people must be held responsible for the damage they inflict and i’m absolutely not setting out to diminish or invalidate the devastating effects of human cruelty, but i just think its important to recognise that as soon as we start writing perpetrators off as monsters, we are putting out a very disturbing message. one whose effects will eventually trickle down and reach those of us who, through the impending lens of fascism, might one day be viewed as monstrous and irredeemable ourselves.

[recoiles]

it’s so confusing being obsessed with fictional people because the automatic assumption is “oh you want to fuck them” but no!!!! genuinely i do not. alright, with certain characters, yeah, i do in fact want to fuck them, but with the The Characters , (as in. THE CHARACTERS!!!) it’s something else. i’m not sure what i want to do with them and whilst i think there is an underlying sexual component it is never quite so straightforward as “i want to fuck this person” which makes it really annoying to explain to other people because i genuinely do not fucking know what i want from these people that are not real or quite what i’m getting out of this entirely one sided non-relationship. its just this formless and repeated shockwave of WANT WANT WANT which sometimes culminates in me writing about the character in the worst situations of all time and sometimes makes me cry in fields

[recoiles]

it feels a bit like when i would obsessively buy barbie dolls as a kid. i knew i desperately needed the dolls, but once i got them i was never quite sure what i was supposed to do with them. playing with them in the traditional sense never felt like a very climactic follow through. i had all this love and obsession churning around in me but i didn’t really have any way of metabolising it and i think that’s what i get out of writing and reading fan fiction. it’s an outlet. which makes even more sense when contextualised by the fact that the most fun i ever had with my barbie dolls was when i was writing stories about them and painting watercolour pictures of them in Situations

[recoiles]

it’s so confusing being obsessed with fictional people because the automatic assumption is “oh you want to fuck them” but no!!!! genuinely i do not. alright, with certain characters, yeah, i do in fact want to fuck them, but with the The Characters , (as in. THE CHARACTERS!!!) it’s something else. i’m not sure what i want to do with them and whilst i think there is an underlying sexual component it is never quite so straightforward as “i want to fuck this person” which makes it really annoying to explain to other people because i genuinely do not fucking know what i want from these people that are not real or quite what i’m getting out of this entirely one sided non-relationship. its just this formless and repeated shockwave of WANT WANT WANT which sometimes culminates in me writing about the character in the worst situations of all time and sometimes makes me cry in fields

[recoiles]

i’m profoundly distressed and psychologically unstable tonight let’s have dinner

[imjunebitch]

[fennecandco]

Trauma didn't make me nice, I consciously made me nice because I don't want anyone else to suffer like I did. Trauma didn't make me strong, I made me strong. Don't you dare ever tell me my trauma made me anything but scared, broken, and confused. Don't give credit to the abusers for me being a good person. They didn't make me good, I made myself good.

[userfinalgirls]

Cillian Murphy as Jonathan Crane

BATMAN BEGINS (2005) dir. Christopher Nolan