trying on a metaphor
Kiana Khansmith
祝日 / Permanent Vacation
#extradirty
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Jules of Nature
⁂
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
ellievsbear
almost home
dirt enthusiast
$LAYYYTER
Three Goblin Art
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Discoholic 🪩
Misplaced Lens Cap
Mike Driver
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ojovivo
KIROKAZE
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@anythingbutcorrect
Pi Day
William: Seriously though, without calculus we would not have pi
William: And that shit is sexy
Robby: I LOVE PIE!
William: YEAH!
Robby: only if its pumpkin pie
Robby: has that joke been made too much?
Robby: I think so
William: No
William: Keep going
William: Like
William: 8 more tonight
Ummm, What?
Robby: you laughed so hard you jizzed
Robby: I wish that was a thing
William: Lol
Robby: I would just watch comedy specials all the time
William: I don't
William: Jizzing is like the worst part of the orgasm.
Robby: some would say otherwise
Robby: look at everyone in the porn industry
William: It's like "Oh, I'm having a really good time, BUT WAIT! I gotta also make sure I don't cum in a bad place, like on my favorite sheet"
Robby: all the ladies be like, Jizz on my face, jizz on my tits! jizz on my everything
William: Yeah
William: Right
William: Because porn is the embodiment of real life
Robby: IT IS AND DONT SAY OTHERWISE YOU UNBELIEVING FUCK BAGEL
*Silence*
Robby: why
Robby: why did I say bagel?
William: Because fuck bagels are sexy and you know you got a boner for me.
William: OH god I crack myself up
Robby: a boner?
Robby: you mean multiple boners
William: Yeah sorry, forgot you had three and a half...
Robby: UM!
Robby: its 4 now Jimmy had a growth spurt
Robby: it goes ed edd and eddy and jimmy
Robby: depending on the day and how I like to treat them that day
Robby: ed edd and eddy always get a beating
Look Me in the Eyes
Robby: I hate everything about you
William: Yeah...
William: I know...
Robby: especially your farmers tan!
Robby: ITS SO WEIRD!
William: I haven't really got that anymore
William: So
William: Does that mean you love me again
Robby: fo sho
Robby: now you got all my lovin
William: DOES THAT MEAN YOU'LL LOOK ME IN THE EYES AGAIN WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?!?!
William: Yeah
William: That's right
William: I win
William: This conversation
Robby: you motherfucker
Robby: I had water
Robby: and now it’s a mess
I Hate You
Robby: can you imagine that shit though? an army of Godzillas?
William: No
William: Because I actually can't imagine just one Godzilla
William: I don't think you can either
William: Imagine the size of it
William: Moving
William: It's skin
Robby: well then, when did you graduate from killjoy university?
William: YES
William: I mean
William: When I was born
William: BOOM
William: NAILED IT
Robby: did you get your PhD in dickbag theology?
William: Yeah
Robby: I hate you
William: Fuck I’m good at conversations
Robby: I hate everything about you
William: Yeah...
William: I know...
Sarcasm is Hard to Read
Robby: Just because my roommates are manwhores and go around banging everything that moves. and then they get sick and then I get sick because they are close to me
Robby: GAH
Robby: they're actually pretty cool though
Robby: BUT THEY GOT ALL THE STDs possible!
William: Hey man
William: Some whores know their shit and keep clean
William: regardless of gender.
Robby: you don't even know them and you referred to them as whores
William: You... you called em whores.
Robby: that’s because I know them! you can’t just judge them
William: THAT WAS NOT A JUDGMENT
Robby: wait
Robby: what’s that
Robby: is that
Robby: HOLY SHIT IT IS!
Robby: ITS SARCASM!
Robby: OH GOD!
Robby: OH GOD IN HEAVEN
Robby: ITS EVERYWHERE!
Robby: GOD ITS SARCASM!
Robby: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAh
Robby: Im sorry
William:
Awful Sleeping Bag
Robby: that's awful
Robby: that’s ridiculous
William: Right?
Robby: I want one
William: You know what
Robby: to cosplay
William: I kinda do too
Robby: call myself master of the woods
William: But I know I'd be uncomfortable the entire time
William: And my toes would always be cold.
Robby: Look how sick he thinks he is in the second picture
Robby: "Yeah Im rocking this sleepin bag, you know you want my D"
William: Fuckin hands in the pockets.
William: Bitch ass bitch
Robby: and the 3rd one is just "DUDE YOU CANT FUCK WITH ME, IM WEARING A SLEEPING BAG"
Looking for a Challenge
William: I'M LOOKING FOR A CHALLENGE
William: Let’s do this dickpunchy thing
William: NAO!
William: HYAH!
William: Dude...
William: I... I have no idea what I'm saying
William: My eyes burn
Robby: I don't either I’m scared
William: You should be
Robby: you said let’s do the dickpunchy thing and that's sounds awful
Robby: BUT I'M DOWN
Fucking Jets
William: But it's kinda funny because I was mad a jets not even 20 minutes after I was mad a Thomas Edison.
William: YOU WANNA KNOW WHY?
Robby: how do you get mad at jets?
Robby: are jets typically angry all the time?
William: No
William: THEY USE FIRE TO GO FAST
William: HOW
William: THE
William: FUCK?!?!
Robby: do they get grumpy because of relation to a street gang?
William: How the fuck does fire equal mach 3.3?
Robby: that's a pop culture reference
Robby: just a general pop culture reference
Robby: capturing all of it
William: ALL OVER MY HEAD
William: I mean
William: *cough*
Robby: I WILL TELL YOU HOW FIRE EQUALS MACH 3.3
Robby: FIRE IS HOT! HOT EQUALS ENERGY! ENERGY EQUALS LOTS OF THINGS THAT GO FAST
Robby: BITCH ITS EASY
William: Mach 3.3 is like.. 2500mph brah
Thomas Edison vs. Tesla
William: He and Tesla had a bit of a silent feud
Robby: oh right I sort of heard about that, that they got along sort of.
Robby: But they secretly hated each other
Robby: Tesla slept with Edison's sister
Robby: and then Edison built a steampunk mech
Robby: and Tesla saw it coming and then he made his own
William: Well, Edison started it by fucking Tesla over.
Robby: and they had a fight to settle it
William: Yeah
William: That happened
Robby: and then
Robby: and then
William: Lots of people died
Robby: I don't know they blew up and that's how we got electricity
William: Fucking genius
Robby: I think that's the best way to get revenge
Robby: build a mech, and destroy some stuff and then blow up and make electricity
She Took Everything
Robby: this is what came up from my head, I think I'm losing my touch
William: Eh
William: Some days are better than others
Robby: I'm getting old
Robby: I got kids man
Robby: my wife is divorcing me
Robby: I got shit to do
Robby: I cant just be my comedic gold ass self when that bitch is taking things
Robby: SHE TOOK EVERYTHING!
William: Lol
Robby: can we start over?
NJAW!
Robby: should we flag this as adult oriented?
William: njaw
Robby: njaw
Robby: njaw
Robby: N JAW!
William: N J JAW
Robby: THE NEW HERO FROM MARVEL
Robby: N JAW THE NEW RAPPER
Robby: N JAW
Robby: a shark
Always Wash Your Hands
William: Dude... I am angry at Thomas Edison right now...... fuck I'm tired.
*Hours Later*
William: Hey
Robby: SUP!
William: HOLD ON! I gotta wash my hands
Styrofoam
Robby: we should do that more, wait until we are sleep deprived and then talk about deep issues like Pokémon and Styrofoam
William: Dude
William: I was not even tired.
William: My sleep has been fucked lately
William: That was like my noon
William: Also
William: STYROFOAM!?!?
William: What?
Robby: is that how you spell it?
Robby: it’s the fluffy white stuff you get with mail
William: I don't give a shit about spelling
William: Why Styrofoam?
Robby: and holds up technology when you buy it
Robby: CAUSE THAT STUFF IS CRAZY!
William: Goddamnit dude
Robby: It makes me feel like a karate master when I chop it in half
Robby: I want a tub of the Styrofoam stuff and I will be a happy camper
Robby: is this going up?
Robby: it’s going up isn't it?
Robby: shit
William: YUP
I Dun Wanna Fix it
William: HUNNNG
William: Gunna take forever to fix.
Robby: dude just let it be brah
Robby: let it be
Robby: let it be
Robby: OH DEAR GOD LET IT BE!
Robby: if only the actual song was that intense
William: lol
Robby: DEAR GOD IN HEAVEN LET IT BE!
Our Description
William: DESCRIPTION!
William: Gimme
Robby: we talk about shit
William: DONE
Robby: not the feces kind
Robby: maybe sometimes
William: Obviously sometimes.
Robby: there are 37 kinds of falcons
William: You said that.
Robby: no put that shit in the description
Master of the Army
William: Fuck
William: Dude
Robby: which one
William: :|
Robby: there are many of them
William: ALL OF THEM
Robby: ok that's gonna take me a while
William: You'd better get started
Robby: I’ll get started tomorrow
William: Nao
Robby: my dick is going to be promoted so hard
Robby: hehe
William: What's the 4,000,000,000th rank?
Robby: Master of the Army
Robby: My dick will be a master
Robby: not me
Robby: just my dick
William: So whats 3,999,999,999?
Robby: Shotgun Rider of Master of the Army
William: Ok
William: Good nuff