Hello there~
i’m pretty sure literally everyone on here forgot this blog even existed lol (myself included, from time to time), but idk, i woke up this morning and felt like writing a little something on here. i might even come back from time to time for the occasional reblog, so there’s also that c:
quick update on my life - not that it’s any interesting lol, but since i was a total mess last year and my last post is oooooold i figured i should at least say something.
my depression is actually much, much better. idk if it’ll ever completely go away, i might have to learn how to live with it, but meds are super helpful and talking with my therapist, family and - mostly - friends made a huge difference. i’m now able to talk about my problems and feelings and that’s a HUGE deal to me, since i was never able to in all my life. my meds are at the lowest possible, meaning they’re just a little help and not the foundation of whatever confidence i’m trying to build. i lost a lot of weight and even started working out from time to time lol, me and my lazy ass who never left the bed, go figure... i guess learning how to talk, even if my mind is still a mess sometimes, really was the key.
i didn’t make much progress with my degree, meaning i’m still in uni and i’m still failing miserably, but i guess we just have to pick our fights. the fact that i also got a full-time job in the meantime doesn’t help either lol, since i basically don’t have the time nor strenght to open a book... jk, this job is one of the things that keeps me alive, it’s not much per se but it means a lot in terms of opportunities, confidence, etc. i'm basically a junion web content editor, finding and making memes and videos online to keep this one page alive for marketing reasons, working with influencers, but also writing articles on history from time to time... they’re also making me do a lot of Photoshop and are basically trying to train a graphic/web designer (both UX and UI) out of me, which is amazing, i miss coding a lot and i’m craving to get my hands on some CSS soon! UX is also SO interesting, mixing design with psych and science, i’m so pumped. i’m legit happy to learn and do everything, even if most of the time it’s just me making memes while listening to music lol. i’ll just have to pass my last exams, take my shitty degree, flush it down the toilet and try to work with what i actually like - and this job is basically my chance, since i’ll be working there at least for the next 3 years.
i’m still ‘not there’ mentally, idk if i’ll ever be (who is, really?) but i’m growing and i can see it. i’ve had a couple of difficult situations in the past months and i was surprised by the way i dealt with them, both straight on and after i messed up, or actively choosing the emotionally straining path for the sake of something (and someone) i care about. i discovered new feelings, both positive and negative, extremely complex ones, bonding with people on a deeper level etc. it’s still super hard from time to time (like right now lol, which is probably why i’m here instead of dealing with the current situation, just trying to understand myself) it’ll probably be even harder in the future as life goes on, but it’s the most alive i’ve basically ever felt. i’m grateful for both the good and the bad (well, most of it).
to put it short, i’m walking now, and it feels good to see the lenghts i’ve gone.
well this was the serious stuff lol, as for my weeb ass it’s still a weeb ass, even tho i don’t have the time to watch everything i want to watch... the only simulcasts i’m watching this season are BNHA and Darling in the Franxx, while waiting for S;G to end in order to binge watch it. also Dia Kurosawa basically became my official wife over the course of the past year, my bby, i have 2 idolized URs (although i mostly never play now) and 2 figures and i love her and i’ll die watching her go </3 I also finally got an Ed Elric figure so i’m a happy child with both husband and wife <33
that’s basically it... as i said, i mayyyy reblog something from time to time. one of the reasons why i went on hiatus at the time was that my internet connection sucked so i literally couldn’t use my dash most of the time - but we updated it yesterday and it’s the fastest i’ve ever had so i suppose that wouldn’t be a problem anymore c: we’ll see!
so yeah! see you around, and i hope this year went great to all of you xx
