āāYmir, can you hear me? I know you canāt, but still, I wanted to talk to you. Iām at the farm inside the walls and looking at the sky. Itās a beautiful night, as if the stars were falling. Itās quiet, the wind is pleasant against my skin, and the air is clean. This world is calm, comfortable, and beautiful. Now Iām living a life where I can feel like that.. even if itās for a moment. But I completely understand that the real world is endlessly cruel, ugly, and dirty. I grew up on this farm. I helped with the farm work everyday and I wasnāt allowed to leave the fence. The neighborhood kids would throw stones at me. But I didnāt find any of those things to be that hard. The hardest thing for me was when my mother left me and when I realized that all of the people who worked on the farm or lived on this land didnāt like me being alive. What in the world did I do? There was no one whom I could ask why. Days passed and one night a few days after the fall of Wall Maria, I met my father, Rod Reiss, for the the first time. He was the Lord who ruled this land and the one who kept me confined to the farm when I was little. He was also the chosen one of royal blood. On the night we first met, my mother was murdered in front of me. And then my father gave me a new name and threw me out into the world. I spent two years working in the fields and then I joined the Cadet Corps at the age of 12. Thatās where I met everyone in the 104th and you, Ymir. "Youāre trying to do a good deed, arenāt you? Was the thrill or the fulfillment you got worth the trouble?ā You said these words to me even though we had barely met. Youāve always been that way. I was lying to myself and trying to be a good person but then you reminded me to live life as myself. And yetā¦. you left me. Since youāve been gone, an unexpected series of events kept happening. I never thought I would meet that man again, Rod Reiss. When I met my father again after several years, he tried to make me turn into a Titan and treat me as a God. He tried to make me lead mankind. I was easily swayed and I didnāt want my father to hate me so I tried to live as he wanted. But you told me to live a life I can be proud of. Thatās what you said. Thatās why I stopped being swayed and I stopped living by subduing myself. I canāt be a good girl, and I also donāt want to be a God but if thereās someone crying and saying āNo one needs meā then Iām going to go tell them thatās not true! No matter who they are or where they are, I will always be there to help! Oh sorry, it took a while to get to the point. Thereās something I really want to tell you. Guess what? I became a Queen. Can you believe that? Iām the Queen. Isnāt that funny? Well, to be honest, I donāt feel that way at all. But the promise between us has brought me here. I announced my real name. Not Christa Lenz but Historia Reiss. I became the Queen of the Walls. So, I will live a life I can be proud of. For starters, believe it or not, I gave a blow to humanityās strongest, Captain Levi! I was like āHowād you like that? Iām the Queen now!ā I wish you could have seen it. That punch! So, now I am the Queen, and the Scout Regiment is embarking on a new mission. A mission which symbolizes mankindās hope to retake Wall Maria, which was stolen by the Titans on that day five years ago. I canāt join the battle though because no matter what Iām still the Queen. Now Iāve been taking care of children who have lost their parents at the orphanage inside the walls. I try to cheer them up as much as I can. That's what I want to do. And that's who I am without a lie, as you told me. During the day, I play around with the children and clean up food and trash. Of course, my body is exhausted but Iām not tired or sleepy. Oh speaking of, you know what, Ymir? Apparently Iām called ā The Cattle Farming Goddessā now. Considering those Cadet days where we got all muddy or when you and I almost died on the snowy mountain, you wouldnāt believe that. Being called āThe Cattle Farmingā might suit me, but āThe Goddessā¦??ā If you heard that, you would answer with another sarcastic remark. Hey, am I right, Ymir? Just say so.. well who am I kidding. I know Iāve been talking to myself all along. My voice can no longer be heard by you, and I also can no longer hear yours. You have gone far away. And things have changed a lot for me too. We may never see each other again. But ifā¦ if we do meet again, I want you to scold me again for my flaws. No matter how sharp or sarcastic, Iāll be fine. You canāt hesitate just because I became the Queen. I just want toā¦. hear your voice, Ymir. I want to see you with that mean face of yours. Thatās all I want, Ymir.ā Historia murmured lastly, and she returned to her room with faint tears in her eyes. In the night sky behind her, a shooting star left a shining trail silently. Did Historiaās voice reach it, or was it just a coincidence?ā
ā Historia to Ymir, a monologue performed by Historiaās voice actress, Shiori Mikami, at the Attack On Titan Special Event Live Reading.Ā
Dude wtf I thought this was just a well-written first-person fan fiction until I made it to the bottom and now I'm mad again. They both deserved better and would have made an epic power couple :(
