Tid Bit O Words

A place to share my two cents of wisdom with the world. Come on in, sit down, grab some snacks, maybe a cocktail and enjoy the words written here.

[aotillar]

Weekend Camping Trip up Buchanon Pass Trailhead. Camping rejuvinates the soul. #outdoorlover #camping #hammocklife #colorado #indianpeakswilderness #natureismedicine #alllifematters

[aotillar]

Treat yourself to some nice food and a nice girl every now and then. You won't be sorry. #dankfood #mexicanfood #yummyinmytummy #mouthgasm (at Tamayo)

[aotillar]

Hammocking has officially begun. #hammocklife #eno #outdoorlover

[aotillar]

Jazz is life. #music #nonamebar #musicfeedsthesoul #iminheaven

[aotillar]

Dreaming of Spring Time. #coffeeshopart #dailydoodle #sketch #love #happiness #outdoorlover

[aotillar]

"Don't Forget We are All just a piece of the universe just trying to understand itself." #love #art #peace #lifephilosophy #passion #relaxation #freetherapy

[aotillar]

Fin!! Let me know what you think! #Art #coloredpencil #followyourpassion #relaxing

[aotillar]

Art time. #Art #coloredpencil #followyourpassion #ink (at Lafayette, Colorado)

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Captain Larkson had a hard day of work. He earned himself some pizza. Tomorrow New Years. #minifig #legolife #lego #adventure

[aotillar]

Cpt. Larkson's fence broke this week. A trip to the lumberyard will fix that right up. #adventure #legolife #minifig #lego

[aotillar]

Cpt. Larkson is an adult, so his first order of business is the Bank. #legolife #adulting #adventure #minifig

[aotillar]

Captain Larkson is about to embark on an epic adventure. Come tag along. #legolife #minifig #adventure #lego (at Lafayette, Colorado)

[aotillar]

I’m becoming Irresistible...I Can’t Believe It.

Somethings happening to me. I don’t want to talk about myself anymore. I don’t want to assure myself that other people like me. I don’t need to coos myself to sleep with the fantasy that everything will be alright if I just kill myself. I am so suddenly enamored with the idea of getting to know someone else. Even if it is a friend, a lover, a coworker. I’m so fed up with myself, I want to get to know other people. I want to explore what others are about, I can’t stand the thought of talking about myself for one more day. Its as if, I suddenly realized that I have always been the irresistible person that I have wanted to be, and I just needed to drop the insecurities. I’m beautiful, I’m smart, I don’t need to prove that I’m smart because I believe it in my heart. I care about other people. I think about them all the time. Their wellbeing, their feelings. I want to get to know the whole world. Well maybe not the whole world but close enough. I can feel it…I’m about to break out of my cocoon and soar like a butterfly. 2016. I can fucking feel it.

[aotillar]

Final Letter

Dear ...,

                 I am nearing the end of my responsibilities to the court and I am all finished with my classes. It has been one hell of a ride this past year and I have learned some invaluable lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life. There is something to be said about telling a person what they don’t necessarily want to hear and your bravado to do so for me has helped me come as far as I have today. I am deeply sorry about what happened that night last May. It is something that I am not proud of, as well as deeply ashamed that I let things get to that point. I am the one who is responsible for pushing you down, drinking too much, and calling the police. I have never blamed you for those actions and I never will. You were trying to do the right thing by me that night, by letting me know that my insecurities would be the death of me if I did not face them. They were the reason behind us parting ways, and the cause of several other problems in my life. Instead of just telling me off, or leaving, you took the time to tell me what I was doing to you and myself. You made it abundantly clear until I listened. I did not have the courage to listen to what you had to say that night, but the journey this experience has led me on has opened my eyes and my heart to the wisdom that you were trying to bestow on me. I will forever be grateful for that. No matter the time or distance it is my sincerest hope that we can remain friends. I truly have become a better person at the end of all of this and I can honestly say that my newfound attitude stems from what you told me that night. Thank You, from the bottom of my heart.

 Sincerely,

 Aaron Otillar

[aotillar]

October

It’s been really strange for me lately. I’ve been in a romantic mood all of October. Ever since I Went to visit my dad I have been more attracted to fiction that has a romantic appeal, and even when the piece isn’t filled with romantic themes, I still try to find them even though they aren’t there. Its as if I am ready for a relationship without actually being ready for a relationship. Ive been instinctually going out to places to find a mate, I have been instinctually opening my heart and my mind to those thoughts and feelings again. Intellectually I know that I am not ready for a relationship at the present moment, however I believe I will be in the next few months(That is physically and Financially.) Emotionally however I have been radically opening myself up at an astonishing rate, to where I never thought I would be able be honest with myself this soon after everything has happened. I did just get off probation this past week and It has been an invigorating experience, especially to feel this free once again. I’ve even started writing again. Somewhere down the line I know in my heart of hearts that the time will be right for me, and everything will be just fine and dandy, but you what? I have the patience to wait until that day. I think it is wise to say that I have taken a year off as far as relationships goes, and It has served me quite well.

[aotillar]

What the West has Taught Me

Wandering through the mountains on a machine that was pioneered almost two centuries ago, I cant help but wonder what life was like last back then. Without the advent of cars or airplanes, the fastest mode of travel would have either been horse or train. To be able to move so many goods and people across huge distances at a fraction of the speeds unknown to previous generations of people must have been something else. To hear the roar of the locomotive come roaring through town, and all of the tidings that it would have brought with it. New goods for the stores, unseen faces and perhaps a distant relative that had not been seen in quite some time. How unimaginable it must have been to feel that much more connected to everyone in your country. To take the vast distance that was once the west and shrink it down to the size of a few weeks. The change it must have brought about in people’s minds about what was impossible and possible. Suddenly the great vastness of the American west was suddenly tamable, nothing could stand in the way of the iron horse, and surely not in the way of the people who took the steps to tame this wild land. The surrounding landscapes were no longer scary and threatening, instead they were looked upon as treasure chests full of riches to be gained. Whether it was in material wealth or the wealth of personal freedom, the west offered something that embodied the essence of this country from the beginning, opportunity.

               The argument of whether or not the persecution of the native people to this land was a horrific thing is irrelevant, the fact remains that this land is truly magnificent. It is from this soil that the spirit of the west lives through to this day and even still today, there are some untouched wilds where the spirits of the forest still wander openly. Too many times have I wandered through the city streets and witnessed how people have forgotten where we came from, this planet. Too many times have I talked to homeless people and found more courage, humility and respect than in the people who claim to be more “successful” than those on the streets. To watch as the people in charge slander and disrespect those who they have deemed failures, only sheds light on the thick wall of sickness that covers their true humanity. Their stench irradiates from them like a disease wandering from town to town killing off all who are unfortunate to fall into its path. Too many times have I wondered how people have been able to ignore their true nature, somehow gaining an immunity to their stench of greed and anger. It angers me that they would disrespect their beautiful gift of life with such atrocities as dehumanizing the homeless, persecuting women and purging their world of things that frighten them.

               That is why I am drawn to such wild lands in the west, because they remind me of my humility, of my origin, of my place in this world. This land teaches me new things every day, no matter what I bring to the table, it is always willing to listen, it is always willing to guide. In the face of such adversity strewn about the world my hope is constantly renewed each and every time I wander into these wild lands. No matter the horrors of the past and with little regard to the foreseen entanglements of the future this land will always restore my internal balance; this land is meant to heal the sick.

               Whilst I sit in my seat aboard this magnificent machine, I cannot help but wonder what lessons the land is trying to teach to others right now. Is it the lesson that we are all made of the same stuff, bonding us deeper than our sovereign or racial boundaries? Or perhaps it is the lesson that we are no higher nor lower than the beautiful land around us, but rather an equal part in it just as the plants and animals we share it with? Or perhaps it is the lesson of compassion and love, for if something so vast and beautiful can exist in harmony with itself then why is it not possible for us to do the same? If there is one small lesson that I have learned from living out west, it is this; Love and compassion will always reward those who serve its cause, humility is regarded as the highest trait and above all else, a respect for the place from which we came will never steer one astray from their true heart.

[aotillar]

What If

What if we just write.

What if we just keep looking at the keyboard    

               So as not to correct any spelling or grammar mistakes.

               As if grammar truly matters anymore, with how much

The English language has been transforming over the past

1,400 years.

What if we could sit in a sailboat and travel across the

               World. Discovering dragons and faery’ in the deepest regions

               Of the planets imagination. What if suddenly we ran about

               Next to people of fiction from the poets to the scientists, the leaders

               To the homeless. What if getting in that sailboat was only just the beginning.

What if we discover another planet filled with laughter and joy; that has just as much love

               For the gift of life as we do. What if that planet has known all along that we have

               Existed and they were simply waiting for us to catch up to the current level of

               Sentient evolution. What if we found out that we have been calling those people

God for the length of our known history. What if we learn that we have always known about

Them and never knew how to talk to them. What if everything we are experiencing right now

Is a lie.

What if our life falls apart because everything our world was built upon that lie. What if there was no        way to ever go back to the way we felt before and became lost in a wilderness of our own minds. What if we let that beautiful gift of light start to fade from within us because we covered it up with hate and greed. What if we cast a darkness on other people’s light, bringing them down with us as we tumble into the darkness. What if we destroy this beautiful gift of light because we all succumbed to our own darkness. What if we never see the light again?

What if we band together and help those who have forgotten their inner light and welcome them into our arms. What if we embraced those that are different than us, stranger than us or fearful of us, so that we can learn from one another and grow. What if we all could retain our pride and keep our individuality and spirituality, while also maintain a global heritage we call human. What if we included in our hearts the power of love and compassion for not only our species but all who share this home. What if we included in our hearts the balance that the universe is fabricated with? What if we respected this balance as a parent or guardian. What if we restored balance to the earth.

What if we acknowledged that we are but a spec on the timeline of human evolution and take a minute to remind ourselves where we came from. What if we redefined humility to include our attitude towards life. What if we never stop asking what if?