Im wildly depressed and worked 67 hours this week but im entertaining myself.

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Im wildly depressed and worked 67 hours this week but im entertaining myself.
yk this may be to do with my therianthropy/werewolfkin-ness but i LOVE lycanthropy as a metaphor for anything really.
the abuse and neglect you suffered as a child? the way it made you angry and cold? the way people look at you now? like you looked at your abuser? like werewolfism is transferred sometimes by scratch or bite or genetics. ooh genetics? like mental illnesses can be? my momma’s got BPD, father’s probably got NPD and look at me! endless trauma and probably BPD. kind of like werewolfism.
being othered by society for something you cant control? hated and/or feared by those closest to you after they find out? feeling only accepted and understood by fellow werewolves? kind of like queerness? or mental illness? or trauma? or (undiagnosed) neurodivergence? or ANYTHING that would other you as a child or in your youth? werewolf.
the weird kid? werewolf.
alone for no reason at all? abandoned? werewolf.
suppressed anger? fear of being hated? of being feared? werewolf.
mood swings? werewolf.
guilt? werewolf.
see? ANYTHING. or, maybe just things i experience. but still. WEREWOLFISM
OP uses he/him right now
Alright so; I’m gonna be updating this and its getting pinned because the gods know someone needs to hold me accountable even if its just a pinned post I shake my little executive dysfunction fist at on the regular. So I’ll be updating this pinned post somewhat regularly as we go to torment myself into getting shit done because I have somehow re-entered the part of my life where I need to feel like im being attacked at all times to complete any task whatsoever. (This isnt like me beating myself up for not keeping a timeline btw im just literally out of my adhd meds and can’t get it anymore thanks in general to the United States health system but mostly tarrifs and medication shortages so this is how im simulating being hunted for sport to trick my brain into working);
Accurate as of 04/17/26
Multi chapter stuff->
Tough As Nails (And Built For Breaking) X - Chapter 10 up and chapter 11 outlined rough draft being edited atm.
Apex Predator X - ch3 editing stages
Lovesick X - last two chapters are outlined but im fist fighting them atm they are still being written i s2g
Wolf In Sheep’s Clothing (title may change tbfh) - in outlining stages expecting 6 chapters may change idk. {this is literally the only one where Celine’s motives are solidly locked into my brain so hoo rah i guess}
One Shots->
Sharp Glass (When you break) X - ITS DONE IT TOOK ME NINE MILLION YEARS BUT ITS DONE (sh fic pls be warned)
Call it a Bet X - all done; fluffy pattern reveal
Deep Breath, Exhale - outline finished; fighting back demons on this one atm
Don’t You See Me Trying? - FINALLY FINISHED THE OUTLINE ITS 38K WORDS LMFAO (super long one shot fiddled with as I go it’s my comfort thing at the moment. Abo / zoemira duo looking for the third hunter / demon raised rumi. Probably going to finish out close to 60k words so rip me but ug H
Everlasting - celine rumi relationship centric. Near death experience resulting in celine having to come rescue the trio and facing the fact that rumi could literally die at any moment. Outlined. Fiddling with prose atm. Hurting my own feelings tbfh.
( 君がパトリックと呼ばれる理由が分かった )
body rot
bait / repellent
wheres my fucking raestar x reader fic. reader thats masc and uses he/him but its still a lesbian/sapphic polyamory. screw that. wheres my raestar. bbrae is cute and all but honestly it gives annoying little brother to me. robstar is alr. idk shipping robin with his teammates feels weird for some reason. idk feels like hes the mom friend that doesnt date in the friend group because those are his children (not actually but yk what i mean). if you do ship bbrae or robstar or whatever i dont really care. its not that big of a deal, just fictional blorbos so please dont start the whole shipping discourse. thats not the purpose of this. im just indulging a little cuz im feeling sad. i love raestar. i remember as a young lad feeling like they should kiss. fuck im a writer. im gonna write some quick lil headcanons. maybe a blurb or two. cuz i love the bubbly pink femme x sarcastic goth femme. theyre so cute.
headcanons for my favorites… RAESTAR! (lmao it kinda looks like the bi flag. bi4bi????)
starfire doesnt understand homophobia or have any concept of it. raven however is very used to being insulted and called slurs and is vaguely closeted because of this.
also because of ravens powers being so connected to her emotions, she is absolutely pissed when she realizes she likes starfire. its incredibly inconvenient to like someone on the team.
starfire is the first to confess because raven thinks that if she represses it enough itll go away.
SOMETHING LIKE THIS
“Raven, may I speak with you?”
Raven raised an eyebrow and floated to her door. It opened with a whoosh and she saw Starfire standing there, looking particularly nervous. Raven’s own feelings of nervousness bubbled and she tried to push them down, tilting her head and clearing her throat.
“What is it, Star?” she internally cringed at the annoyance in her voice. Starfire flinched too.
“I was wondering if you wished to join me in the painting of the toenails. I believe on Earth it is called a ‘girl’s night’,” her musical voice sounded, lighting up Raven’s unused heart with its gentle notes. An emotion started to stir in the recesses of her body and something on her bed started to move as well.
“No,” she deadpanned, listening to the object thump against her covers. Starfire looked like a kicked puppy.
“May we partake in the human sentiment of the date another time then?”
“Date? You said this was a girl’s night.”
“Are they not the same? I wish to hang out with the girl I have a… ‘crush’ on.”
Various crashings sounded from the inside of Raven’s room. Her face grew hot and her palms sweaty.
“You don’t know what you’re saying,” she choked out as she slammed the door. Starfire, however, was fast enough to stop her. The door shook in the girls’ opposing grasps.
“A ‘crush’ is someone that gives you the flying butter in your stomach. You also partake in the ‘daydream’ about them. Although I fail to see the reason for naming them in such a way. I do not wish to crush you.”
Raven stared at Starfire with wide eyes. More stuff crashed in the background.
“I can’t afford to have crushes, Star. You know how it affects my powers to feel things.”
“Is that why your possessions are flying around your room?”
“Yes,” she spoke through gritted teeth. “Leave. Now.”
“I do not wish to hurt you, Raven.”
“Then leave! I can’t control it around you,” she sounded like she was in pain. Just as much as Starfire was. Her grip on the door tightened and it started to crush under their combined strength.
“I can help you.”
“Yeah, by leaving.”
Starfire relented and released her grasp on the door. It slammed shut and she sighed, feeling tears well up in her eyes. She looked at the crushed blue rose in her hand that she had found for Raven. She dropped it in the stoop and left, crestfallen.
yk, that nice angsty bullshit.
but eventually they do get together. theres a lot of mutual pining beforehand
when they are together starfire indulges on petnames. some from her home planet and some from earth. sugar, sweetheart, sweetie, honey, etc. although something tells me its more of a “Earth-born natural sweetener”, “sugary flavored chest muscle”, “bee vomit”. yk how she is. of course theres the “rae” maybe “rae-rae” when shes tired or asking for something
raven doesnt do petnames. the closest is calling starfire star or kori. maybe beloved or love in private.
raven, however, does find starfire’s use of petnames really cute tho.
i feel like raven is the flustered one. she blushes and stutters way more than starfire
starfire painted her nails blue and painted raven’s pink or purple
and maybe with a butch!reader in the mix… this is going to be very self indulgent btw.
you’re probably taller than raven (5’4”) but shorter than kori (5’9”) (at least i know i am)
the three of you stay up late chitchatting and goofing off. granted raven probably sits there only smiling or laughing a little but thats okay.
lets be real. theyre probably both autistic. and you probably are too. yall help each other during meltdowns or nonverbal episodes. sensory stuff yk
they do the femme girlie stuff like go shopping and you follow them and carry their bags and give them advice on different things.
you and kori have figured out raven’s microexpressions and know when she likes something so you plot together to get her presents
raven and you also plot together to get kori presents
they plot together to get you stuff as well
i feel like you and kori got together first (given her adversion to feelings) and then raven got invited. multiple times. by kori.
the three of yall meditate together and raven reads outloud to you and kori when yall wanna sleep
you have matching bracelets with purple, green, and wtv your eye color is
just some ideas. i dont invite discourse; healthy and productive conversations only. if you have things to add go for it. i reserve the right to delete anything sexual tho.
if i wrote a book about two lesbians who snuck onto a pirate ship together disguised as men (one realizing theyre genderqueer in the process) and having pirate adventures and falling in love would yall read it?
OP uses he/h1m/it