Decadence, Depth, Deadlines

just a sun goth and artist trying to stay sane

[aphrosprite]

✶✧Introductions✧✶

Hi there! My name is Lilith, and after many years of just being a lurker online, I thought why not join the party? Here's my stats, so to speak: ✧ 24 years old ❖ Irish ✧ Currently finishing out a degree in Applied Art ❖ Very interested in occultism in all forms- in fact, my thesis is based around it ✧ I truly do listen to a bit of everything, but goth rock, dark folk and 2000s emo music have a special place in my heart. ❖ I'm not planning to make this an art blog, but my practice consists of glass painting, illustration, and sculpting to cast in glass. I love getting my hands dirty! I'm currently working on a project based around self expression and community, which has given me a great excuse to completely fixate on ✨bats✨ ✧ I'm a big reader, although I don't get as much time for it these days, with thesis obligations and all. I love some historical nonfiction, along the lines of Silvia Federici, Mary Conroy or Ruth Schwarz Cowen, but I'm hoping to soon get more good fiction in there. I'm in the middle of Sputnik Sweetheart by Haruki Murakami, and I'm planning to chew my way through a few of his when I have time. There are not enough lifetimes for all the books smh ❖ I'm a Taurus 𖤓, Virgo ☾ and Aquarius ↑. and I read Tarot sometimes as well. My cards could probably use a little more attention from me to be totally honest.

But yes! I'm looking forward to being more active on here, I've been on Tumblr on and off since 2014. Thank you for stopping by!

[thepenguinpress]

Vladimir Nabokov’s note card, c. 1969.

[lonesomedovepdf]

“[March 21 1951]

Student explaining to me (after getting 55) that when reading a novel (’Ulysses’ in this case) he likes to skip ‘passages and pages’ so as ‘to get his own idea, you know, about the book and not be influenced by the author’.”

[yuribomber-deactivated20251222]

day 1 at the communal puzzle club: i see a puzzle with a sign next to it that says "please help with our communal puzzle" and i say to myself "don't mind if I do" and did the whole thing

[yuribomber-deactivated20251222]

day 2 at the communal puzzle club: i get gently reprimanded for not sharing the puzzle experience with the others. in my defense I thought they needed all the help they could get

[yuribomber-deactivated20251222]

day 3 at the communal puzzle club: we start a new puzzle and i put one of the pieces in my pocket and save it for later so i can be the one who puts in the last piece

[yuribomber-deactivated20251222]

day 4 at the communal puzzle club: the puzzle is almost complete so i reach into my pocket and realize i left the last piece in my other pants which are currently in the washing machine. i feign ignorance

[yuribomber-deactivated20251222]

day 5 at the communal puzzle club: the others are suspicious but they have no proof. they check my pockets before i leave but little do they know that this time i ate the pieces

[yuribomber-deactivated20251222]

day 6 at the communal puzzle club: i put an entire bottle of miralax in my coffee to get the pieces out of my digestive system but they are too far dissolved to be usable. my stomach is in so much pain and i can't stop shitting but i rinse off what's left of the pieces and make it to puzzle club anyway, only to find out they don't meet on mondays. i am inconsolable.

[yuribomber-deactivated20251222]

day 7 at the communal puzzle club: i realized those pieces are incriminating evidence so i slipped them in someone else's pocket. i should be good as long as they don't find residual traces of my dna

[yuribomber-deactivated20251222]

day 8 at the communal puzzle club: there is an odd feeling in my gut. i feel as if something has been awoken in me

[yuribomber-deactivated20251222]

day 9 at the communal puzzle club: i am in such deep focus that the others are starting to fear me. either that or they are cowering away from the communal puzzle out of sheer respect for my skills

[yuribomber-deactivated20251222]

day 10 at the communal puzzle club: i'm getting better and better, i can now do several puzzles in one day. the others are discussing what to do about me in hushed tones. little do they know my laser focus allows me to hear everything they say. they aren't a threat.

[yuribomber-deactivated20251222]

day 11 at the communal puzzle club: the club manager unlocked the door but already i am inside. ive been here all night doing puzzles in the dark. they threaten to ban me from the club so in response i pick a 500 piece puzzle at random and complete it in under 45 minutes, just to show them who the real authority is

[yuribomber-deactivated20251222]

day 12 at the communal puzzle club: i have been officially banned from the communal puzzle club. in a fit of rage i grab as many pieces as i can and eat them, making sure to thoroughly chew and swallow every single one. if i can't do them, no one can.

[yuribomber-deactivated20251222]

day 13 at the communal puzzle club: it's monday again. the club doesn't meet today. it's the perfect opportunity to break in and do as many puzzles as my heart desires, without any of the club's petty drama to distract me

[yuribomber-deactivated20251222]

day 14 at the communal puzzle club: i am in jail because the club manager snitched to the cops like the pathetic weakling they are. this is the worst night of my entire life there aren't any puzzles here

[yuribomber-deactivated20251222]

day 15 at the communal puzzle club: the judge let me off with a restraining order since I didn't actually steal anything. i show back up to communal puzzle club just to make a show of ripping the order to shreds. no piece of paper will dictate my life, only jigsaw-cut cardboard has that power. nothing else.

[yuribomber-deactivated20251222]

day 16 at the communal puzzle club: everyone is so quiet today when I walk in. I eat some pieces in a show of force, just to remind everyone who's in charge. I comment that they taste somewhat like strychnine, they say it's just because Ravensburger has a new method of chemically processing their pieces. sounds plausible. 30 minutes later i am convulsing violently but i beg them not to call an ambulance until i finish the puzzle i was working on. but the bastards don't listen and I'm shipped off to the hospital kicking and screaming.

[yuribomber-deactivated20251222]

day 17 at the communal puzzle club: i spent the night in the hospital. a detective comes in and says they're investigating the manager of the communal puzzle club for attempted murder and asks what i know. i tell him honestly that i ain't no snitch and spit in his face. he says they have more than enough evidence to prosecute regardless.

[yuribomber-deactivated20251222]

day 18 at the communal puzzle club: the club manager is on trial for attempted murder and i am called as a witness. i tell the judge that i ain't no snitch and spit in his face. i am held in contempt of the court

[yuribomber-deactivated20251222]

day 19 at the communal puzzle club: the defense makes a plea of justifiable self defense, citing the restraining order that isn't even 1 week old. somehow the judge buys that flimsy defense. i mean, this is the same judge who didn't even recognize me from that same case despite being the same judge. i think the poor old man has dementia so i make a motion for a mistrial. it gets shot down because the system is corrupt.

[yuribomber-deactivated20251222]

day 20 at the communal puzzle club: the judge says i should get jail time but he decided i should be in a mental facility instead. i don't know why he would think that, i have been nothing but sane my entire life. god forbid a woman have hobbies

[yuribomber-deactivated20251222]

day 1 in the psych ward: they have puzzles in here this is amazing

[yuribomber-deactivated20251222]

day 2 in the psych ward: all the puzzles are missing a few pieces. this is unacceptable. im going to go insane

[yuribomber-deactivated20251222]

day 3 in the psych ward: i have been informed that they do not use the word "insane" in here so i take back my previous statement.

[yuribomber-deactivated20251222]

day 4 in the psych ward: i need to find those missing pieces i need to find them i need to find them i have been questioning everybody all the nurses all the doctors all the patients all the miscellaneous hospital staff but nobody knows anything. this is hopeless. i will never be able to overcome this trauma. my life is over

[yuribomber-deactivated20251222]

day 5 in the psych ward: it's so boring in here. without complete puzzles there's nothing to do except watch tv but the only channel they get is the local news. i begrudgingly watch out of nothing but all-encompassing ennui. but one of the stories is about the communal puzzle club and suddenly i am overcome with nostalgia. turns out there was a series of alleged poisonings attributed to that location. strychnine was found in three people so far, one of whom was myself. but the others didn't survive. this confirms my suspicion that i am in fact the chosen one

[yuribomber-deactivated20251222]

day 6 in the psych ward: with a renewed sense of purpose i will attempt to convince the doctors of my "sanity," but i also came to the realization that they don't care about sanity, they only care about sedation. they want to supress my passion, eradicate my truth, condition me to fall in line with the rest of the "sane" people. with that knowledge, i was able to tell them everything they wanted to hear. i acted polite, pretended i was cured, i even feigned complete disinterest in puzzles! it made my stomach boil but i did it, i convinced them, and just like that, i was free.

[yuribomber-deactivated20251222]

day 28 at the communal puzzle club: i don't know why everyone was so surprised to see me again, it's only natural that i'd come to finish what i started

(i know this is supposed to be day 27 at the communal puzzle club but day 27 was a monday so nothing happened) like what am i gonna say, "day 27 i sat alone in my studio apartment eating cereal and biding my time"

[yuribomber-deactivated20251222]

day 29 at the communal puzzle club: the communal puzzle club has been disbanded, the club manager has been arrested, and the whole place is swarming with cops. i watched as they hauled off a bunch of expensive looking printers and like a billion reams of paper and loaded them onto a big police truck.

apparently, the communal puzzle club was just a front for document forgery and counterfeit cash, and i had been inadvertently sabotaging them this entire time. which is sad because i support both of those things. but it also explains why they met 12 hours a day, 6 days a week and why they had their own building despite having no profit model and also why i was the only one who seemed to actually care about the puzzles. everyone else was too busy making fake passports to care.

in hindsight, i always knew they were all a bunch of casuals. but i didn't mind because they had so many excellent puzzles. I asked one of the officers if i could at least have the puzzles but he said they were already taken and locked away in the evidence room. the thought sickens me- all those puzzles, gathering dust, never to be assembled again. or maybe the pigs just took them for themselves! so they could have all the puzzles they want while the rest of us ordinary, law-abiding citizens have nothing to do except die of boredom!

the moral of the story is that we can never have nice things because of the fucking pigs. fuck the police.

[dat-physics-gal]

the fuck did i just read?

[yuribomber-deactivated20251222]

my local library was having a puzzle swap and there was a puzzle with a sign next to it that said "please help with our communal puzzle" and i thought "wouldn't it be funny if i did the entire thing by myself" and then i did the entire thing by myself while rolling that thought around in my brain and as it rolled it started picking up all the various mold spores and fungus i keep up there. like a katamari

[wolfhoundwitch]

brigid — celtic goddess of healing, smithing, poetry, fertility, divination, fire and water.

brigid bless this hearth and home, keep us safe from harm. no matter how far we might roam, guide us safe and sound. heal me with your sacred water, shield me with your flame. your love is my sword and shield and so it shall remain.

[breelandwalker]

Remember when you see the trends, when you see things touting softness or meekness or dependence or subservience as desirable traits, when you see "clean girl" or "soft girl" or that beige/pink spotless house aesthetic, when you see homemaking and childrearing and domestic labor glamorized as Essentially Feminine Things, THAT IS PROPAGANDA.

If you Choose any of these things because they appeal to you personally and privately, that's one thing. If you feel that you Must do any of these things in order to be Desirable or Acceptable, you are eating the boot.

Remember that the patriarchy and the fascists WANT you soft. They want you waifish and babyfaced and demure and housebound and god-fearing and SILENT.

Remember always that no matter how soft or feminine or family-oriented you CHOOSE to be, you do not OWE that to anyone.

Remember always that feminism means choice and inclusion and equity. Anything that takes that away is anathema. Especially when it comes from other women.

Remember that trans women are your sisters too. Remember that an attack on one of us is an attack on all of us, and the oppression of ANY person's bodily autonomy or right to self-determination is oppression for ALL.

Remember that we stand together or we fall apart.

And remember that all of you have teeth.

USE THEM.

[peoplegettingkindamadatfood]

oon a chocolate rhubarb brownie recipe

[silvermoon424]

[rhodeisland-renegade]

My personal fav

[fernthefanciful]

@friend-crow

[gooselycharm]

SISYPHUS GETS A 9 TO 5

[spoilers for all of severance season 1. words by northernlion, brain worms by me]

[ex0skeletal-undead]

Alkonost by Iren Horrors on Instagram

[remediosvarou]

Mulher saindo do Psicanalista, 1960. 🔸️ Uma das pinturas mais famosas de Remedios Varo, o quadro é tema de inúmeras fan arts e mesmo tatuagens.

No link da bio você pode acessar no portal.urania e descobrir o que Remedios Varo comentou sobre sua pintura e quantas vezes a Mulher esteve no Brasil. 💜 . Woman leaving the Psychoanalyst, 1960. One of the most famous paintings of Remedios Varo.

[greytern]

this one took me 1,5 years details + process under the cut!

[antleredheretic-deactivated2025]

I am the type of lover that foresees collapse and dives in headfirst anyway. I am the type of lover that knew who he was all along and loved him anyway. I implored him, I craved him at every moment of the day and every second I did not spend with him was a waste of time to me. I loved him, I knew him, with his blood underneath my nails, tears down my shirt, pulling him into me and mourning his body that was still warm in my arms. I knew he wouldn’t stay from the very beginning, yet I played his game simply to draw him out of himself and to experience him fully as a person. I am rich, but not in the way you’d think, but my biggest pleasure in life is coaxing the life and humanity out of people and to collect their impressions on me and see the world as they do. It’s so beautiful to be human. I wish I could live like they do

[important-animal-images]

[fangedjester]

i had to draw her she's so nostalgic

[talesfromthecrypts]

You are not for human kind.

The Witch // Nosferatu

[bostoneris]

[breelandwalker]

Sir Terry Pratchett was not remotely in the vicinity of Fucking-Around, and had never even heard of that ridiculous thing some of his esteemed colleagues referred to as “Chill.” (1)

(1) In point of fact, he had heard of it, on numerous occasions, most often when a friend or well-meaning-but-politely-horrified acquaintance advised him to locate some, but he always studiously ignored this in favor of a much more productive righteous fury, which he kept hot enough to boil the kettle for his afternoon tea. If the world was not going to work as it should, then damn it all, he would create one in which people had some blasted sense for a change. And he did. Spite, as it turns out, makes for an excellent motivator.

[drunkwhenimadethis]

Wake up call fr

[chloeinletters]

To Live a Textured Life

[mister-girl]

I wanna be feminine but only in this way:

[aphrosprite]

I feel this so much, I want to be feminine but cartoony, over the top feminine, ridiculously so

[mild-goth-sauce]

An informational comic I drew last year for my Comics 2 class, reposting it to my new account (had to jump ship from the old one unfortunately) with some minor grammar changes and learned my lesson in adding watermarks! Happy early pride :)