A Place Without Me

and you are the key.

[aplacewithoutme]

Instrument

I wish I knew a chord,

Just one is enough for now,

So that I can strike it against

Whatever instrument that may come alive,

At the touch of these broken fingers,

And that I could lay down with the words

Those tremors of the soul

I wish to turn into a song,

For how I wish I knew the secret language of violins,

That set fire to the rolling tears

As I dream with eyes open

And the quiet world makes me wish

I knew how to play a guitar,

To pull and strum the very strings

That moan in pleasure like the very syllables escaping my pages,

And so I wish I knew which keys

Could open the piano's heart

To hammer my own in it's place

Is all I need to secure immortality

So that I can finally truly hear

The evolution of silence

Over the growing but still distant horizon,

As I raise my chin to receive a kiss

That I can always feel approaching,

In every breath the world is resigned to take.

[aplacewithoutme]

A Turbulent Kiss

Would she still kiss me

Once we've sobered up,

The sultry afternoon had no answer

But continued to make me sweat,

As I fumbled upon my thoughts,

Disaster lurking near the narrow

Feelings of lustful reflections,

My heart betrayed my loneliness,

It's over now, I thought to myself,

Shall I leave behind my demons

In their sleepless nest,

Or shall I linger a few hours longer

In this softest of moments,

Wondering why or when did I decide

To allow myself to feel this way,

To cast my passions and secret desires,

On an unsuspecting lover,

Covered in the sweat of intoxication,

Burning fevers outrun the fire,

Kiss her, fuck her, leave her asleep,

Hide in the cupboard and sneak past

The inevitable cloud that follows me

As I try to break my spirit

Upon the cold floors of an abandoned home,

It shatters as I break free the essence

Of all that has become a stone

Cast out into a thoughtless river

Rushing through the open mouth of time,

A turbulent fountain of actions discounted

Human and counting,

The hours of a lifetime

Slipping through the fingers of glass,

A kiss that has made me

Fashion happiness out of a faceless future.

[aplacewithoutme]

A turbulent kiss

[aplacewithoutme]

I have forgotten kindness

In the company of lesser men,

I have also forgotten

What I should have learnt from them,

A common man I cannot be

Unless the ever evasive truth

Points me in directions

That either revives or kills me.

[aplacewithoutme]

Just one of my poems from my book.

[aplacewithoutme]

Choke

I wish I could

Reach down my throat

And scrub it clean,

My anxious windpipe

Is coughing up blood it seems,

Am I dying or am I suffering,

My curious mind discovers

That it will cease to recover

What I have always tried to hide,

I felt a shiver

A melody and a whisper,

I must fornicate

With my demons to realise,

The smoking gun

is hardly evidence of a device,

To destroy even the chance

Of life's uncertain unraveling,

But I lie awake at night,

The perversions of the hours

Deepen the abyss

And the creatures of thought

Kept at bay

by the fires of a trillion cigarettes.

[aplacewithoutme]

#poetry #writeblr #poetrycommunity #poetrycommunityofinstagram #tumblrpoetry #poems https://www.instagram.com/p/ByOypJtldEG/?igshid=1015hfqaivuq8

[aplacewithoutme]

#poetry https://www.instagram.com/p/Bx6dskIFxY0/?igshid=10bgolqpdwhri

[aplacewithoutme]

Middle Class Indie Cunt

To be me

Is to be a fucking nobody,

I'm not gay,

I'm not trans

I'm not a feminist,

I'm not a woman,

I'm not a white Knight

Who dies every lifetime

in the valley of arrows

I'm not even a grown man,

And I think I may be racist

I've lived in the same country for so long,

I can feel the corruption

Rasping between every breath I take,

I'm not political

And I fear that gives me power

That others believe does not exist,

I'm not under observation,

And that seems to bother me

On a level of disgust

And misunderstanding of the world

That I will never begin to see,

I'm not in love

And that makes me want to fuck everything I see,

Like an uncontrolled urge

That has never slept

But twisted it's way into every word I say

It may be the truth I speak

But the venom is never diluted

For the sake of anyone else's sensitivity,

For I will live as long as I'm remembered,

A hated person

By the ones he loved the most,

If only they knew what he really thought of them,

Mindless objects of his darkest fascination,

Thoughtless voices groaning in the past,

Mirrors of himself shattering beneath his ego,

I'm not angry though it feels like it,

It's a tool to penetrate the cave

A little deeper,

Exhausting and yet illuminating

A part of me that travels

Beside my struggle to keep digging,

And to keep my mind above the sinking depressions,

The tiniest of doubts

Shakes the roof

And my soul,

Will I make it to the end

Before I die,

Will I have time to give it a title

And the luxury to let it go?

I will take the plunge,

Lay myself at the world's feet,

To shed the skin I was clothed in

To disembark from a vessel

I had no intention of boarding,

I now find myself,

lost and at the mercy of,

The beginning of humility.

[aplacewithoutme]

15 years ago, on Christmas- probably the happiest days of my childhood playing Spyro, Syphon filter, Medievil and Harry Potter.

The only thing I have left of this wonderful machine is a shattered controller which I refuse to discard despite my mother's protests.

Seeing this picture brings back a lot of good memories... My initial playthroughs without a memory card meant that I had to start the game from the beginning if the power went out and that happened a lot. Or my sister's watching me play through Medievil, laughing at the purely ridiculous story and antics of Sir Daniel Fortesque or the happy world of Spyro. I had a lot of fun on the PlayStation. I can't remember all of them but these are the ones I remember playing the most out of:

1. Wipeout

2. Syphon Filter

3. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

4. Aladdin : Nasiras Revenge

5. Medievil

6. Dino Crysis 2

7. Spyro : Year of the dragon

8. Disney's Tarzan/ Lilo and Stitch

9. C12: Final resistance

10. Final Fantasy IV and V

[aplacewithoutme]

The Argument

The devil is in the details,

The obscure logic

The creation of hunger

The soul can only disappoint,

For the strife that tongues

Have lashed to their voices

As painless nerves

Run like rivers

Coursing through the bodies of dreams,

Crashing heads against cold pavements,

This life is my disease

And how I intend to battle my mortality,

Is by signing the contract

That never seems to age

Unlike the devil that sits across from me.

[aplacewithoutme]

Fuck me and get it over with,

Drain my spirit through my lips

Tangled and knotted are these heart strings,

There's no point in fiddling,

Cut them loose

And watch me dance.

[aplacewithoutme]

Crime and Punishment

Kindness is a crime

We are all guilty of,

And so we shall weep

Like dandelions in the rain,

As the punishment certainly fits the crime.

[aplacewithoutme]

The Glitch

Who is the student,

Whose learning is life,

The wayward traveller

Who journeys beyond the random perils

Stumbling over accidental truths,

And who is the teacher,

Whose life is learning,

A fixed destination,

Where stagnant dreams and distant troubles,

Makes the future fluctuate

Like an indecisive sunset.

[aplacewithoutme]

A poem about love in hindsight

Cruel is your name,

A shade of immortal memory

Bound to the powers

Of whatever I name as Love.

Through the white curtains

From the eyes of Gods

Raining their tears

Upon the stainless souls below.

I murdered my spirit

Everytime I fell in love,

I was resurrected

When I held back my tears,

For my greatest fear

Was that the dream would end

And it certainly did.

I am nothing now,

As I have always been,

And till I recover what has gone missing,

I remain a stone,

The river flowing over head.

[aplacewithoutme]

Simple Simon

I will take the leap of faith,

With gratitude and remorse

Held within my rattling fists,

To my friends,

It's time I apologised for the errors

I have yet to mend,

For I will admit,

I made them quite willingly,

But senselessly I must add,

Too easily did I submit myself to that idle simplicity,

For now I wish these mistakes were never mine,

But I'm sure you'll understand one day,

Maybe someday we may speak to each other again,

For time has long been a mutual friend

Whose loyalty is often given way to misunderstanding,

For when my clock stops,

Yours will still run.

[aplacewithoutme]

A work of malice mingled with the joys of creation,

A slender volume of days gone by,

Cherished reveries of bliss accounted for,

Hidden by me in a maze of dreams,

Unbidden visitors beware,

It shines in the light

Of which I cannot reveal,

A book of poems I have written,

Like a stairway arrested in fractured ascensions,

Trickeries of the mind's endless jealousy of the heart,

Potions of death and life, unlabelled

Upon the many shelves that litter the floors

Of my favourite halls beneath the expanding stars,

I was always a mess,

But here is proof,

That I can hold it together

For as long as desire could propel me,

To finish something I had started a long time ago.