.. @apoapsiis - Tumblr Blog

i'm going to [remembers suicide jokes have a negative impact on my mental health] be unwell, gentlemen. quite unwell, i expect. and i don't know for how long. a week? no, two. perhaps... perhaps more

aloyhh

normalize not trying harder when someone makes you feel unwanted

koritsi-ths-nuxtass

normalize leaving

infectiouspiss

take your wedding ring off that's literally fetish gear and you're wearing it in public you disgusting freak nobody wants to see that

fuzzbby

Zhu Zhonghong.

human-pet-they

normal guy playing wordle: "i really recommend ATONE and GUILT" for starting words

transgenderization

trick me once shame on you. shame on you. shame on you shame on you i hate you. i ltierally trusted you.

teaboot

My first time operating CCTV cameras I was handed control over what was essentially 50 independently moving eyes that collectively covered an area about the size of a football field and from that experience I now know that

Suddenly having 50 moving eyes can make you disoriented and barfy and the adjustment period sucks ass

It takes both more and less time than you’d think to figure out what the structure as a whole looks like and where those eyes ARE

After you get used to it the entirety of the structure itself and all of the eyes you can see from feels like an extension of your nervous system in a very bizarre way. Like I have dreams now from the perspective of A Building and I’m not sure how to describe that.

Once you are aware of an unreachable blind spot it nags at you constantly and you can feel it like a hard little lump under your skin you need to poke and scratch at and it’s ardghgguychgghhbhhhbhhh

teaboot

And on top of that, having operated CCTV at multiple locations now- my favourite and most comfortable one having excess of 60 cameras- it can be REALLY hard to suddenly jump to a different operating interface and display configuration, because all the muscle memory is wrong

On my COMFORTABLE system, the one I spent the longest time on, I never had to think about what code I needed to punch in. If I needed to watch a specific person, I could follow them all over the site without thinking about it.

Now at a different location, all the manual equipment and codes and lag and resolution are different, and it feels like going from playing the piano to driving stick shift on the left side of the road with my feet

The closest I imagine I can equate it to is like. Getting really really good at painting with a pair of prosthetic hands, and then suddenly having them swapped out with someone else’s

teaboot

Not the best depiction, but. Feels like this

starstruckminnow

@murderbot-moodboard

uncertainlys

it will pass but like can i at least get an eta

moneybytheton

shittysawtraps

(attempting to impress a girl at a party) i was in a saw trap. (remembers that girls like strength) and i wasn’t hurt at all. (remembers that girls like sensitivity.) but i was emotionally scarred. (remembers that details are important to a story) because i pushed a guy into a wood chipper.