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@shittysawtraps
Rules:
No excessive gore. This is a saw blog and it kind of comes with the territory, but generally this blog is about humor.
No excessive NSFW.
Nothing bigoted.
Please submit traps as submissions with the tag ‘shitty saw traps’
A saw trap where you have to correctly name the breed of three cats and not by colour and cor each one you get wrong a finger is removed by pulling it off until you get them all right
unrelated: john kramer has taken up a side gig as a cat show judge and the power is kind of going to his head
whenever you see a random torture machine in a horror movie that’s because jigsaw is doing some freelance work so he can make rent
big homoerotic climactic scene in james bond movie ruined after john kramer barges in and starts arguing with the villain about an overdue invoice
whenever you see a random torture machine in a horror movie that’s because jigsaw is doing some freelance work so he can make rent
hello james if you pick that scab a bomb strapped to your head will explode but if you leave it alone for three minutes you will escape unharmed
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interested in a movie where jigsaw is a municipal position that one can be elected to, half because the idea of the government funding serial killers in order to create a culture of people who are constantly worried they’re going to be punished for not being good enough is really narratively interesting, half because i want to see those fucking campaign slogans
Vote Jigsaw!
"I mean, he can't be any worse."
disclaimer: this is satire and not to be used as political or legal advice. it can always get worse. voting for jigsaw can cause side effects, including: nausea, heartburn, indigestion, vomiting, diarrhea, needles in public toilets, reverse bear-trap office chairs, razor wire commutes, migraines, and, in rare cases, gay sex.
Don't worry boss I got it
this is amazing and i am so charmed by smiling billy. satisfaction. progress. trap.
Hello binary trans person on tumblr. Before you stands a nonbinary person. You have no way of telling their assigned sex at birth. You have 5 minutes to have a conversation with them, and if you cannot do so without trying to sort them into a binary based on what you believe their assigned sex at birth to be, the ceiling above you will open up, allowing a flock of birds to descend upon you and peck your bones clean. You cannot tell the sex of the birds either. Good luck.
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It's so hard getting good help these days, even Jigsaw's on ziprecruiter
i got this one literally just now. the jigsawification of the job market.
saw trap ft this jigsaw puzzle
I would ragequit this and die in under an hour
saw trap ft this jigsaw puzzle
I would ragequit this and die in under an hour
problematic saw trap survival gap
if i was kidnapped by my cousin that i mutilated and the first thing i heard after waking up was him on the phone acting concerned about me being missing, my rage would know no bounds. it wouldn’t even be about the kidnapping, i’d just be pissed that he’s showing off his alibi. like you’ve clearly won this round, you don’t need to rub it in. really making me feel justified about the whole mutilation thing.
kidnapping is such a ugly word. i prefer “noncon gap year.”
interested in a movie where jigsaw is a municipal position that one can be elected to, half because the idea of the government funding serial killers in order to create a culture of people who are constantly worried they’re going to be punished for not being good enough is really narratively interesting, half because i want to see those fucking campaign slogans
does jackass count as a saw trap
yes bc they’re hurting themselves so they can fully appreciate life
no bc it’s voluntary
nuance
your tape clicks on and all you hear is, “hi i’m johnny knoxville and welcome to the dick mouse challenge”
alright we all have to be honest with ourselves here: in the saw universe, is “jigsaw trap” a common bdsm scene setup. and if so how far is it taken. can you buy a prop circular saw at a sex shop. do people commission their own saw trap tapes for pleasure. was jigsaw someone’s sexual awakening. and will all of this be addressed in saw xi (which is x rated) or will I receive a strongly worded letter from lionsgate telling me to stop.
does jackass count as a saw trap
yes bc they’re hurting themselves so they can fully appreciate life
no bc it’s voluntary
nuance
