Apocalypse Chic

.......................................... Entertainment for the Apocalypse... This is the Tumblr spot for APOCALYPSE CHIC and DYSTOPIAN STUDIOS and megalomaniacal artist Kevin Flint. Here you'll find original content mixed with awesome stuff from other awesome people. . . . Feel free to reblog the original content (in fact, we love getting reblogged,) as long as you do so with NO COMMERCIAL INTENT. Please do not remove our logo or try to pass our work off as your own. That is just not cool. . www.kevinflint.com . . www.dystopianstudios.com . . www.dystopianslut.com

[apocalypse-chic]

For 48 years my dad (often with my mom riding shotgun) drove around my hometown in his 1973.5 911. And on special occasions they'd head on longer adventures - Sonoma, Monterey, Santa Barbara.

That 911 was his true joy. He absolutely adored that car, cared for it meticulously, and he had a real fun time meeting and interacting with other enthusiasts.

Of course, I wasn't allowed anywhere near it. I couldn't even walk next to it, covered up in the garage. I think I sat in the passenger seat 5 times growing up. Maybe 4. But my parents did go on vacation. And though they absolutely did not trust me, my dad thought disabling the ignition and battery and hiding the keys was enough. Nice try. I knew the odometer was out of order, and no disabled ignition was going to stop me. My high school friends and I absconded with that car quite a few times while my folks were away. My buddy Bill Steinhauser even got to drive it when I got a bit too sauced at a high school party. And there were no Ferris Bueller crashes for me - every time I returned it back to its exclusive spot in the garage in perfect condition.

Dad passed last year, and we're finally sending his beloved 911 to find a new Porsche enthusiast, hopefully to care for it and enjoy it as much as he did. And though it will likely move on from Danville, mom has spoken a bit wistfully that she hopes to catch a sight of their 911 someday, top down, cruising carefree along the open road.

Here is the listing for the car.

https://bringatrailer.com/listing/1973-porsche-911t-targa-44/

[apocalypse-chic]

Tomorrow night!

Collab - LA's awesome Art Salon and Creative Mixer

Tuesday, May 13th

730 PM to 1130 PM

341 South Avenue 17, 90031

[apocalypse-chic]

A quick video tour of my loft taken at last weekend's Brewery Artwalk

[apocalypse-chic]

"The Gang Fixes American Healthcare"

[neurosismancer]

[everybidenjusthavegoodtime]

*releases pack of dads into home depot* go……be free

[hotcommunist-deactivated2019032]

invasive species encroach on lesbian territory

[dreaming-shark]

This is a common misconception because they’re such similar environments, but you should be aware that dads are native to Home Depot, while lesbians are actually native to Lowe’s. At this point, however, both dads and lesbians have made themselves at home in both Home Depot and Lowe’s to the point that trying to separate them back into their original ranges would probably do more harm than good to the delicate ecosystem of large chain hardware stores.

[ailithnight]

A properly raised and socialized Dad will be perfectly comfortable cohabiting with Lesbians. Its not really “encroaching on another’s territory”. You wouldn’t say that about foxes in a forest that also homes bobcats, would you? No. It’s just two different species that have both evolved to live in similar/the same environment. As long as they recognize each other as equals, Dads and Lesbians are more than capable of cohabitation.

Now, if you were to release a pack of Lumberjacks into a Lowes or Home Depot, that’s where chaos will reign. Being adapted to a far harsher and more demanding environment, the Lumberjacks would simply push Dads and Lesbians both out and also consume far more than a sustainable amount of resources. It would be like releasing bears at a country club.

[chequerootlurks]

As a former timber-harvester… I feel this is potentially accurate in theory. But highly improbable in actuality.

Lumberjacks, like most megafauna species generally require more space than the average hardware store, even a big box store could provide. The misconception is that Lumberjacks are a social species because of how they often work and live together.

This is a matter of necessity, not preference, and a survival technique for thriving under the LogBoss.

A “pack” of Lumberjacks, if not under the environmental pressure of a LogBoss will naturally disperse until they each have a wide territory.

Lumberjacks rarely fight for territory.

One on one, a Lumberjack could drive out a Dad or Lesbian, however the latter tend to travel in social packs.

Lumberjacks will passively retreat on the presence of large numbers of people. Kind of like Sasquatch.

Getting a “pack” of Lumberjacks assembled would be hard enough unless they were forced into a Hardware Store by a LogBoss. In that case, they would already be in a heightened and potentially agitated state far above their natural behavior. This artificial scenario can be likened to a circus animal running amok. If it had been in the wild, the incident would not have occurred.

Free-roaming Lumberjacks are the cryptids of the Hardware ecosystem. They are surprisingly quiet and unobtrusive.

Please stop labeling Lumberjacks as dangerous roving social predators. They are intermediate level omnivores and remarkably peaceful unless threatened.

[thatdisasterauthor]

As a hardware store worker I can say that this is all 100% accurate.

[swindle94]

now how in the FUCK am i supposed to leave tumblr when a god tier post like THIS is just is just waiting for me daily?!?!?!

[fromchaostocosmos]

question where does the “art student” or “DIYer” “crafter” or “soap maker” or “miniaturist“ etc. who has ventured into the store for supplies fall into the ecosystem/what is their impact of said ecosystem?

[terulakimban]

Most of the above are native to craft and hobby stores (art students, historically, are native to museums, but having been introduced to hobby stores, have found a niche for themselves and thrived), but all can be seen in hardware stores on occasion due to territorial overlap. They are generally low-impact, as they tend to stick to specific small areas and primarily utilize different resources. While a large group of any of them can be disruptive (art students, in particular, are known to travel in packs), in general, they are more likely to have territorial disputes with one another than with the local fauna. 

A point of clarity -“crafter” is a bit misleading; while it conjures a specific image, much like ‘fish’ or ‘reptile’ it actually covers a broad array of wildly disparate species, and in general, more descriptive nomenclature is preferred. Fiber artists in particular are a genus to watch out for, particularly in groups. Beware a roving pack of domesticated quilters. They fear nothing, will go anywhere, and due to their social nature, will often seek interaction from other species that thrive best in solitude. They are quite friendly, and will happily adopt members of other species; the concern is that their adoptees do not always wish to be adopted. 

[midrashic]

#in search of taxonomic precision and peaceful coexistence (via welkinalauda)

[kriladoodles]

I do wonder how lesbian/bisexual lumberjack-mimickry fits into this

[marablake]

I can say as a former craft store worker that if you wish to see true fear, look into the eyes of a Dad who must venture into a craft store. Despite the overlap of familiar beings known to him from his native hardware store habitat, Dads are instinctively aware that craft stores are not for them; they contain unfamiliar perils and even the seemingly familiar may have strange variances and unnerving secrets. (”Why is this airbrush so small? What do you mean nails, why would you… WUT!!”)

Only experienced silverbacks or the boldest young Dads dare venture into a craft store for long without his mate or offspring to keep roving Craft Ladies at bay and guide him in this strange ecosystem. If a Dad enters with his mate and is separated from her, he will often scuttle for the seeming familiarity of Woodcrafts, Models, or Paints (the latter not to be confused with Fine Arts, unquestioned territory of art students), but he eyes Scrapbooking and Jewelry with trepidation and will usually venture into those exotic areas only in the company of females of his pack.

Lumberjacks are rarely spotted entering craft stores of their own volition, for while they do not fear it as Dads do, they know it is an environment unsuited for megafauna such as themselves.

Hardware store Lesbians generally adapt more easily to craft stores, although they may enlist another Lesbian of a subspecies more adapted to that environment to guide them until they find their niche. Lesbians have even been known to seek the aid of a Craft Lady, a native fauna that share similarities with Lesbians but are usually smaller and nimbler to suit their chosen habitat. Dads who witness this are often awed by the Lesbians’ temerity, for although larger, Dads are generally wary of the cunning and dexterous Craft Ladies and may mistake their enthusiastic pack greetings as predatory swarming.

Craft Ladies, secure in their ecological niche, have no fear of interlopers and take the presence of non-native beings in stride, although they may become territorial about scarcer resources.

The only truly invasive species that threaten craft stores are Brides-to-Be, who are mere annoyances individually, but like locusts may descend in hordes and lay waste, leaving swathes of destruction in their wake. Fortunately for the Craft Ladies, Brides-to-Be are seasonal and usually only a threat in the spring and early summer.

[link-the-feral-anon]

It Got Better

[fireflyfish]

Is anybody going to address the newly invasive species of BuJo enthusiasts into the craft store/art supply store environment? Why aren’t we talking about the dangerous proliferation of Leuchtturm 1917s and the growing threat of Dotted Moleskins? I had to liberate a Dad from a tangle of washi tape in the art supply store the other day and it wasn’t pretty.

[rpendleton]

The natural habitat of journalers was stationary stores, which have been replaced by office supplies stores, not the same. Journalers invade the craft stores and art supplies stores to get the markers and washi tape and Sakura pens they require for survival.

[greatatuintheworldturtle]

@great-art-and-a-purple-tongue @onbearfeet THE LORE HAS BEEN UPDATED.

[onbearfeet]

VERY IMPORTANT AND ENTIRELY ACCURATE now excuse me I gotta hit Lowes and Michaels.

[gothiccharmschool]

Another thing to note is all of those habitats must adapt to the seasonal migration of goths. As soon as the faintest hint of spooky can be detected at those stores, goths will arrive in packs. A small pack of goths determined to forage can strip the shelves of a seasonal section bare in 30 minutes.

[apocalypse-chic]

The art wall has gotten real thin on content, trying to get some new pieces made.

[aurumacadicus]

The kids on TikTok think that just because he was a classic country singer, Johnny Cash was conservative??? My babies he covered a Nine Inch Nails song in his seventies.

Classic country singers (the majority of which came from poor roots) were always talking about how much The Man sucked because they were taking money from poor rural folk. You’re gonna tell me that’s conservative?? Get outta here.

[aurumacadicus]

And somehow on the opposite side of the scale with the same exact opinion the conservative kids say “I like the old country music, because there’s no politics to it” Woodie Guthrie’s got a “this machine kills fascists” sticker on his guitar? You think there’s no politics in 9 to 5 or Folsom Prison Blues?!

[hermit-skrab]

For anyone confused there was a sudden and dramatic shift in the country music genre. It used to be a genre fixated on the experiences of people. Lived or common experiences that resonated with the common people. It was music that you listened to and it thrummed in tune to your soul because you had lived it yourself. And a lot of that was about ordinary people getting ground up in the gears of society.

The hyper patriotism, beer, and trucks chimera we have now didn't show up until after 9/11 and the world is lesser for it

[rubenesque-as-fuck]

[onbearfeet]

Allow me to post the entire lyrics to the Johnny Cash song "Man in Black", released in nineteen goddamn seventy-one and written about why he always wore black onstage:

Well, you wonder why I always dress in black

Why you never see bright colors on my back

And why does my appearance seem to have a somber tone

Well, there's a reason for the things that I have on

I wear the black for the poor and the beaten down

Livin' in the hopeless, hungry side of town

I wear it for the prisoner who has long paid for his crime

But is there because he's a victim of the times

I wear the black for those who've never read

Or listened to the words that Jesus said

About the road to happiness through love and charity

Why, you'd think He's talking straight to you and me

Well, we're doin' mighty fine, I do suppose

In our streak of lightnin' cars and fancy clothes

But just so we're reminded of the ones who are held back

Up front there ought to be a man in black

I wear it for the sick and lonely old

For the reckless ones whose bad trip left them cold

I wear the black in mournin' for the lives that could have been

Each week we lose a hundred fine young men

And I wear it for the thousands who have died

Believin' that the Lord was on their side

I wear it for another hundred-thousand who have died

Believin' that we all were on their side

Well, there's things that never will be right, I know

And things need changin' everywhere you go

But 'til we start to make a move to make a few things right

You'll never see me wear a suit of white

Ah, I'd love to wear a rainbow every day

And tell the world that everything's okay

But I'll try to carry off a little darkness on my back

'Til things are brighter, I'm the man in black

That right there is an anti-war, anti-bigot, anti-mass-incarceration, anti-war-on-drugs (Cash was an addict in various stages of recovery who was pissed as hell about how this country treats people with substance issues), eat-the-rich protest song. And it was arguably his signature song, his personal manifesto. Notice that even the Jesus reference, which today would be a signal that the song is about to drop some racist dogwhistles, segues immediately into a line about "the road to happiness through love and charity". As in "Motherfucker, our shared god said love thy neighbor and care for the poor and the outsider, and we both know he didn't fucking stutter." He's throwing shade at self-described Christians who use his religion as a cudgel to beat people with.

Johnny Cash wasn't a conservative. I'm pretty sure if he were alive and in reasonably good health today, he'd knock Jason Aldean's teeth out (or, failing that, write a song so devastatingly memetic about how much Aldean sucks that Aldean would never work in music again).

Johnny Cash was punk rock. He just happened to be punk rock in the body of a country singer.

[apocalypse-chic]

Weirdly enough, hip hop and rap are showing the early signs of a similar slide down the same slope.

[apocalypse-chic]

Just goofing off with friends in the loft this morning...

[apocalypse-chic]

[apocalypse-chic]

After a little break, I've started making awesome functional artwork again. My roller luggage pieces have always been fun and popular - especially with pilots. Half of the rollers I've sold over the years have been to pilots, the other half to people that just want to have the coolest luggage at the airport. TSA approved!

Shop items by ApocalypseChic.

[apocalypse-chic]

FridgeBot 3000. Keeps your drinks cold, and looks awesome doing it. One of my original and of a kind functional art work series.

Shop items by ApocalypseChic.

[apocalypse-chic]

[1500sfemmefatalevamp]

Monster Heels by Theo Gravelines

[apocalypse-chic]

Due to a strange sequence of events, we now have a 13' 1984 Scamp! Structurally it is sound (trailer, wheels, frame,) but I plan to do a ton of internal work, including redoing the plumbing, adding battery/solar power, improving the kitchen and bed, adding an awning system, putting in an A/C, and much more. Gut and rebuild. But I'm also going to totally redesign the exterior. Since I'm a maker and artist by profession, and I have a pretty well known aesthetic, I plan to base the exterior on some of my art. Probably either an AtomPunk vibe like the fridge I made (below) or a DieselPunk look like the luggage piece I made (above.) We're excited to get started on this project, and have it all ready by Spring. I'm going to try to take a lot of photos and make a few videos of the project.

[apocalypse-chic]

I stopped posting on Tumblr when they instituted all of the content restrictions several years ago. Some of my art has mild nudity, and I was annoyed that all of that post history was suddenly gone. I've kept browsing Tumblr (I've always preferred it over Instagram and Twitter) but I just didn't want to post anymore.

With the restrictions lifted, I've decided to return to posting. I had quite a lot of followers here, but I have no idea how many remain active. For those that are still here, I look forward to sharing all kinds of PostApocalyptic - DieselPunk - Dystopian - RetroFuture Artistic Awesomeness of my own and others creation. Here is a little taste of some of my latest art work shot at my loft to kick this off.

[apocalypse-chic]

A local luxury hotel was on Etsy on Friday, and cleaned out my entire store of my functional artistic coffee and beverage dispensers. Here are some of the troops getting ready for the new deployment. Super excited... except now I have no art for the next Artwalk (or in case they want more.) Time to get to work building a new caffeinating army...