Treat every day like Pi Day

[whisqrs]

i had a dream where tornadoes were made illegal or something i just remember like a dozen police cars driving directly toward a tornado with their sirens on and all getting sucked into the tornado

[thechronicleofshe]

why is this so fucking funny

[marvel-blog2]

so the only two white actors in black panther are martin freeman, who played bilbo baggins, and andy serkis, who played gollum.

so I guess that means…they’re the Tolkien white guys.

[everywitchway-deactivated201905]

I literally screamed

[micdotcom]

[blasianxbri]

BITCH THIS TEA IS PIPING FUCKING HOT. I BURNT MY MOUTH SIPPING ON THIS SHIT.

[riovidalll]

FUCKING ROASTED

[app1e-pi-blog]

Who You Should Fight: Chris Edition

Evans: He’s a sensitive soul who stands up to bullies on his personal Twitter and posts loving vids of his dog online. Why? Why would you fight him and make him sad? Why?

Hemsworth: Let’s face it, he’d probably laugh joyously and think it’s a game. He’s the kind of guy who’d do that thing where he holds you off with a hand on your head while your arms windmill like mad trying to get a punch in. Fight Chris Hemsworth. You’d lose, but go ahead.

Pine: I mean, I know his face and general socklessness have led many to fits of apoplectic rage, but why fight Chris Pine? He’s respectful to women, he can sing decently, and his blue, blue eyes might be proof he is an alien. Don’t fight Chris Pine because eye laser beams, obviously.

Pratt: You should fight Chris Pratt. It would be super hilarious and fun and probably involve Silly String and bubbles. Do it, fight Chris Pratt.

[ar18376492191q721]

The Denny’s rule book: A simple guide

Denny’s is your local, friendly diner open 24 hours a day every day of the year. A place to relax and enjoy a breakfast at any hour, a fulfilling lunch or delicious dinner. All are welcome at Denny’s, and it’s your safest location, provided you follow this very simple guide for the nightly hours.

Never close your eyes in a Denny’s parking lot. 

Walk calmly to the door; you will hear sounds. Do not look behind you.

Always make sure the door closes behind you, unless it was already open when you arrived, in which case do not touch the door.

Never sit at the table farthest from the front door. Your server will sometimes try to seat you there. Politely refuse and ask for another table.

If you see a table with two salt-shakers, walk past it; that table is taken. Sit at the table directly across from it instead. 

Eat your pancakes. Box any leftovers; it would be a shame to waste food. It might attract something.

Do not, under any circumstance, look into the eyes of your own reflection in the bathroom.

If your server’s eyes turn black, do not panic; order a coffee with extra cream. Do not ask for a refill. Do not stare.

Think you recognize someone who just walked in? Best to ignore it. It’s probably not what it seems. They will proceed to sit at the table farthest from the door.

If you are walking past a Denny’s and you see yourself sitting in the corner booth through the window, keep walking. Do not eat at Denny’s that night.

Did you tip? You better double check. It’s only polite to leave a tip.

Do not ask questions. They will Notice.

Your local Denny’s is the perfect place for a delicious meal at all hours of the day. Hope you enjoy your next visit to any Denny’s Diner!

[dennys]

sage advice

[bluecaptions]

How English has changed in the past 1000 years.

[allowthehype-deactivated2015072]

the big mans a lad i have fuck all, he lets me have a kip in a field he showed me a pond 

[beautifultoastdream-deactivated]

I think my favorite part is how the first three are totally comprehensible to a modern reader, and then the fourth one is just “Wait, what?” You can practically see where William the Conqueror came crashing into linguistic history like the Kool-Aid Man, hollering about French grammar and the letter Q.

[systlin]

^ I FUCKIN SPIT MY DRINK UP

[10memes]

[maneth985]

awwwwww♥

[lovelylovelyartist]

This is the cutest shit ever everything else can go home

[culturenlifestyle]

The First Clear Coffee That Will Never Stain Your Teeth

[wnq-writers]

culturenlifestyle:

ClrCff  presents us with the first clear coffee in the world, an answer to the prayers of all those coffee lovers who lived in the constant fear of getting their teeth stained.

Read the Article

[app1e-pi-blog]

Fuck. No.

[nerdisma-deactivated20171202]

Oscar Isaac | Photographed by Nathaniel Goldberg

[app1e-pi-blog]

If Oscar Isaac was your boyfriend...

[kelseyuum]

… he claimed to be genuinely surprised when, in March 1956, he received a letter from one Sam Gamgee, who had heard that his name was in The Lord of the Rings but had not read the book. Tolkien replied on March 18:

“Dear Mr. Gamgee,

It was very kind of you to write. You can imagine my astonishment when I saw your signature! I can only say, for your comfort, I hope, that the ‘Sam Gamgee’ of my story is a most heroic character, now widely beloved by many readers, even though his origins are rustic. So that perhaps you will not be displeased at the coincidence of the name of this imaginary character of supposedly many centuries ago being the same as yours.”

― The Letters of J.R.R. Tolkien: Letter 184

He proceeded to send Mr Gamgee a signed copy of all three volumes of the book. However, the incident sparked a nagging worry in Tolkien’s mind, as he recorded in his journal:

“For some time I lived in fear of receiving a letter signed ’S. Gollum’. That would have been more difficult to deal with.“― J.R.R. Tolkien: A Biography

[ariverofmilk-deactivated2019041]

mrrrl:

delladilly:

do you ever see someone in some quiet intimate moment and suddenly love them so desperately you feel like you’re dying

#like when they pass a mirror and make a face and mess with their hair a little #or when you hear someone singing in their car with the windows rolled up as they drive past you #i don’t know how to express this i just. people are people and it makes me so sad and filled up sometimes

I love seeing grown humans setting about little creative tasks out of boredom and then looking quietly pleased with themselves, like maybe a middle-aged woman on her train home from work manages to make a tower out of empty coffee creamers and gazes at it proudly for a few seconds.

I love seeing other people make the overblown OOPS I FORGOT SOMETHING performance for no-one that most of us do when we have to turn around in the middle of the pavement.

I love seeing stony-faced people in queues unable to contain a smile when a baby looking over its mother’s shoulder in front of them locks eyes and does that astonished stare.

[app1e-pi-blog]

Silmarillion Onion Headlines: Part 2, The Secondborn

Beor: Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

Andreth: Child Assured It Will Be Long Time Before He Dies

Barahir: Near-Death Experience Followed By Right-On-The-Money-Death Experience

Beren: Bad Boy Fencing Star Implicated In Yet Another Daring Jewel Heist

Morwen: Sole Survivor Of Plane Crash Suffering From Survivor's Pride

Turin: Disaster, Could It Strike Again?

Nienor: Study: Depression Up Among Teenage Girls Able To Perceive Any Part Of World Around Them

Hurin: Man Wakes From Nightmare Relieved It Only Expression Of His Real-Life Problems

Tuor: ‘The Time To Act Is Now,’ Says Yellowing Climate Change Report Sitting In University Archive

Haleth: Woman Confusingly Tells Area Man She’s Not Interested In Him

Erendis and Aldarion: Amazon.com Recommendations Understand Area Woman Better Than Husband

Tar-Ancalime: Area Woman Not A Morning, Afternoon, Or Night Person

Ar-Pharazon: Study Finds Majority Of Deaths Caused By Failure To Heed Omens

Tar-Miriel: How Climate Change Will Affect You

Elendil: Jake Hyland Of Kansas City, MO Chosen As Nation’s Designated Survivor In Case Rest Of Country Wiped Out During Presidential Address

[mydaywithd-deactivated20180408]

Julie D’Aubigny was a 17th-century bisexual French opera singer and fencing master who killed or wounded at least ten men in life-or-death duels, performed nightly shows on the biggest and most highly-respected opera stage in the world, and once took the Holy Orders just so that she could sneak into a convent and shag a nun.

(via Feminism)

[bookshop]

bisexual opera singer who killed ten men and snuck into a convent to shag a nun.

[allyitis]

Just so y'all know, she later set that convent on fire so she and that nun could sneak out. And she seduced one of the men she’d dueled.

[johannesviii]

Mademoiselle de Maupin (Julie d’Aubigny) has always been one of my role models. I’m so glad this post exists so more people can learn about her. The more you know, the more there’s to love. Let’s see:

Around 1678 (she was like fourteen or fifteen), she was making a living in Marseilles by doing fencing exhibitions, dressed in male clothes, with her boyfriend who was on the run because he killed a guy in an illegal duel in Paris.

Then she joined an opera company and fell in love with a young woman, but the woman’s parents decided to put her in a convent to, you know, protect her honor and all that…

…so yeah, that’s when the whole “sneaking into a convent to help a nun sneak out and also putting the room on fire” thing happened.

She wounded a guy through the shoulder with a sword in a duel because he had made fun of her clothes. They became friends after she came back a few days later to ask if he was okay.

She beat a singer who was quite famous at the time because he was being a jerk to some women from her new opera troupe in Paris.

She kissed a young woman in front of everyone at a society ball, and that angered three noblemen who were there, so she beat them all in duel and fled to Brussels. Then she resumed her opera career there.

Then she returned to the Paris opera and had yet more problems with the law because she beat up her landlord.

She retired to a convent after the death of her love Madame la Marquise de Florensac, and died at only 33 years old.

The legend says that she never got arrested for all her deeds because king Louis XIV thought she was way too entertaining to deserve death. I have no idea if that’s true. But she did sing in Versailles for the Court, so there’s that.

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

She’s back on my dash!

The woman who is, no word of a lie, MY PERSONAL HERO :D

[christopher-bryant]

How badass can you be to basically get a lifetime pardon from the king?!

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

Julie D’aubigny: It’s okay I have a note from the king

“Julie can do what she wants - King Louis XIV”

[virusap]

She was fantastic ahahahah

[rbgif]

[mmmmick]

this is how gay sex works

[quasi-normalcy]

What if Scotty is not actually Scottish, though? 

Like, what if his name just happens to be Montgomery Scott, so all of his friends started calling him “Scotty,” and then every time he was introduced to a new person, they would be like “Oh, are you Scottish? My uncle was Scottish!”

And finally, he just gets sick of explaining the situation, so he starts replying with “aye, laddie!” But then it turns out that the person he said that to was Captain Kirk, and he doesn’t want to admit that he lied to his new commanding officer, so he has to keep speaking in a ridiculously over-the-top brogue and commenting constantly on how much he loves drinking Scotch, and by the time that he realises that Kirk would have found humour in the situation, he’s in too deep and can’t stop pretending, and it gradually just becomes his normal speech pattern.

Then, years later, the Enterprise is being inspected by a Starfleet engineer who’s actually Scottish, and Scotty takes him on a walking tour of his warp engines and is all like “Auch! Here be me wee bairns!” and the other engineer is just like “what the fuck is wrong with you?”

I take the fact that James Doohan is Canadian as evidence of this theory.

[quasi-normalcy]

Scotty hacking into his Starfleet personnel file to alter his place of birth.

Scotty soundproofing his quarters on the Enterprise so that no one can hear him teach himself to play the bagpipes from instructional videos.

Scotty making a great show of taking a shuttle down to Aberdeen to “visit his family” every time the Enterprise is in Earth orbit and then, once on the ground, discreetly site-to-site transporting himself to Vancouver or whatever.

None of these things are out of character or beyond his technical ability.

[beka-tiddalik]

Yeah, but also in character: Jim Kirk has known since Day 1 that Scotty is not, in fact, Scottish, but is just sitting there waiting to see how far Scotty is willing to go to keep the story going. It started out as an “enough rope” situation but now it’s one of Jim’s greatest ongoing sources of entertainment and he wouldn’t admit at gunpoint that he knows. 

[wordsandshadows]

Honestly, Kirk would actively claim to have met Scotty’s Extremely Scottish Family/visited them in Aberdeen just to keep it going.

[studiogible2016-deactivated2017]

Fanfiction: Because apparently barging into the writers office of your favourite shows and telling them to get out the way while you un-fuck things for them is considered ‘rude’ and ‘breaking and entering’

[annleckie]

(via https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xb6F6kIqlxw)

Happy Taking Joy in the Misfortune of Speaker Ryan (that shitweasel) Day

Happy “Living with Obamacare for the Foreseeable Future” Day! Emphasis on the LIVING

Also fuck you, Ryan, you conscienceless dickblister.

[app1e-pi-blog]

I know gloating is unattractive but HAHAHAHAHAHA FUCK YOUUUUU REPUBLICANS.