Kodzuken/PuddingheadLover @applepiblog - Tumblr Blog

DEAR Y/N: ONLY IF YOU GAVE A CHANCE

pairing: serial killers!ot8!skz x fem!reader

genre: dark romance, comedy

summary: part v. some boyfriend content with each four of them. and like, feat the other dipshits. but you’re the one taking felix to his doctor’s check up.

warnings: non idol au, violence, blood, mentions of gore, cannibalism, obsessive behavior, jealousy, cursing, homicidal behavior/psychopathy, mentions of self harm and throwing up, sexual content(mentions of p in v, humping, heavy petting, love for men’s balls but it’s not sexual after all, light voyeurism), reader getting no privacy, so also talks about periods and the boys interacting with it but it’s in the funny way, the boys are not okay mentally

word count: 25k

hyunjin is not handling this well.

like, not even a little bit.

he wants to handle it well. he really fucking does. he’s trying to be normal about it, trying to be one of those “yeah man, we talked about it, it’s fine, i respect it” kind of guys… but he is not that guy.

and with the way he keeps it in, it just builds. and builds. and builds. until suddenly he’s three drinks in at noon, sitting somewhere he doesn’t even remember choosing, staring at his phone because you’re not answering fast enough.

not even ignoring him. just… busy. with someone else.

oh, so you’re with them. cool. great.

and then he orders another drink.

because obviously that’s the solution.

and we’re talking about a noon here but it’s already on in the mornings. hyunjin wakes up already pissed off at his fucking chungus life. with a headache, most time.

his hands don’t know what to do anymore. before you, they knew exactly what they were for. he was born to end lives. now… now he just holds shit when not stabbing with it. he always looks so off nowadays. but always plays with something in his hands when spacing out, that’s our point here.

one morning, early, hyunjin’s already up. he always wakes up early. can’t not. currently sitting at the counter of his and binnie’s place, hunched forward with that ass posture of his, why is this guy so long, turning a knife slowly in his hand. not like a big one, just… enough to do damage if he wanted to. but he’s not using it. he’s just holding it. plus you would worry about him if he hurt himself. so he’s… not going to do that.

changbin stands there for a second, watching. then he walks over, holds his hand out. “give me that.”

“fuck off.”

“hyune.”

“i said fuck off.”

changbin reaches out and takes the knife.

hyunjin lets him. lets his hand go slack, lets it be taken because nothing matters. fucking psycho.

changbin turns it once in his hand, sets it down out of reach. sighs. mr emo should calm the fuck down. (or maybe changbin should open up his eyes and realize hyunjin is not wrong here, just a more expressed and deeper version of what changbin also was once before you let him hit. changbin is kind of an asshole here, always on your dick and not helping his friend who’s having it way worse.)

that’s why for hyunjin, it’s not just that you’re with other people, it’s who. it’s the details. it’s the images that won’t leave his head no matter how much he tries to drown them out.

you.

on his bed.

changbin’s hands on you.

changbin’s mouth on you.

right there. while he was just asleep. he keeps seeing it, over and over, and it’s not even something he witnessed, it’s something he imagines only, fills in with way too much detail that destroy him but most likely didn’t even happen. like hyune i promise you that they did not kiss that close to you as you imagine it.

it makes his stomach twist. makes his grip tighten on whatevers in his hands at the time. makes him want to break something. or someone’s bones. or his own head on a wall.

and hyunjin can’t be mad at you. couldn’t even try. because to him, you’re, fuck, you’re everything.

when you look at him? it all just stops, just for that long. the constant torture in his head and everything that holds in itself, gone. that’s why he still wants you just as bad. maybe worse.

if you asked him to wait? he would.

if you asked him to share? he might.

if you asked him to stay like this, falling deep into this and mad and completely fucked up over you, just a simple little human? he’d do that too.

but all this waiting just ends up making him… hungrier.

he’s constantly trying to figure out where he fits. where he’s allowed to stand. he doesn’t openly hit on you like jeongin, he can’t give you that. doesn’t do what he wants like seungmin, would mess up everything if he did. doesn’t cling like han, he’d feel annoying. can’t over-daddy everyone like chan, could never be on that level. can’t have the same charm as changbin does, doesn’t have it, what changbin was born with, hyunjin learned himself. wouldn’t get away with being creepy like minho(god, only minho can do it like that, even hyunjin wants to drop his panties when he sees minho be a creep towards you. anyone else would be dead if the boys saw someone act like that, but not minho)

he just… waits. that’s what he does, lives in the back, in the others’ shadows, not even his looks saving him now.

first time having feelings going well so far.

oh, sweetie.

but at least he still has the privilege to steal you sometimes, because you do like hanging out with him. he’s grateful for that. (only has himself to be grateful for, is still grateful for you) he can grab your hand and pull and you won’t resist. you’ll giggle and go with him, even while han keeps making little noises.

“hey, hey, where are you taking her?”

“out.” hyunjin says.

“no—”

“yeah.”

he actually had to stab han in the thigh once just so that he wouldn’t follow you. hyunjin always. makes. sure. the others don’t follow you.

he needs the contact to stay sane. just the two of you’s. he doesn’t even talk much in these hangouts, just sits with you, smokes one maybe, watching you. accepting his heartache when you lean on him a little.

internally, he’s fine then. okay. life is good but then he remembers(just imagines, fuck he remembers if he didn’t see it) changbin on his bed, and it all comes back. he has to throw up again.

“…you really didn’t wake me up, huh.” he mutters one time.

you look at him. you’re beautiful. “what?”

he shakes his head. looks good on him. “nothing.”

drinks again. conversation over. but it’s not over.

changbin has taken that knife out of his hand multiple times now.

walk in. see hyunjin. see knife. say “again?” take the knife. place it somewhere, knowing he’ll find it again anyway. “you’re going to cut yourself.”

“wouldn’t be the worst thing.”

“you’re being dramatic.”

“you’re in a fivesome.”

“…can’t even argue with you, dude.”

it hits him in waves. that would be the best metaphor, though he has lots more of those. one minute he’s fine. normal. functionalish. doing whatever the fuck he does during the day. then next he’s on his bed, flat on his back, staring at the ceiling, flushed, heart doing some weird, uneven shit in his chest.

his brain, all you. again. always you.

he’s just thinking. thinking about the way you act with him. the way you lean into him when he pulls you into him, how you trust him with being that close, trust him to protect you in that position. he feels so boyfriend when you do that. you’re the perfect girl. the way your hand fits in his like it was made to be there. he’s sure it was. it must. the way you went out with him before you knew the others. the way your tits look—holy shit tits. yeah these thought chains can be sweet, can be dirty, longing, desperate, needy, horny, everything.

it’s not just want, attraction. it’s this gross need that took over his perfect life.

it’s unhealthy.

but what the fuck is anyone gonna do about it. nothing. that’s what.

so he gets love drunk. and it’s pathetic. genuinely embarrassing for a man like this. ptoo. this was supposed to be the sound of spitting in him. anyways. he’s on his bed in these little episodes, arms behind his head, staring at the ceiling looking like he just got shot by cupid himself. feels like it too. even ears red, little boy neck warm, just a boy thinking about you. no distractions. no phone. no alcohol (at least not yet, give him ten minutes).

and then there’s the other problem, which is that all this feeling has to go somewhere. and hyunjin is not good at expressing it. at all.

so it leaks. kinda like that. like one late night, hyunjin is not sleeping again. shocking. he’s been staring at the ceiling for… fuck knows how long, thinking about you, replaying everything, overanalyzing shit.

he gets up. no thoughts that drive him, just feels like going. walks out of his room, down the hallway. to changbin’s door, and opens it without knocking. (them not knocking on each other’s doors has gotten them into multiple situations now)

changbin is asleep. shirtless, sprawled out, one arm thrown over his head. he’a cute. such a boy. more man, maybe.

hyunjin stands there, staring. kinda forget why he came for. so he walks in, closes the door, and climbs into the bed.

fucking cuddles up to changbin. like presses into changbin’s side, throws a leg over him, one arm tucked between them and the other over changbin’s body.

changbin obviously wakes up to this, eyes opening, looking down, seeing hyunjin. processing… processing…

“hey, buddy.” changbin says.

“…hi.”

changbin exhales, so soft, adjusting to get comfortable again, then puts an arm around hyunjin.

“you okay?” he asks.

“no.”

“yeah. figured.”

hyunjin presses his face into changbin’s shoulder, trying to hide.

changbin understands. wishes he could do something for hyunjin. these two kill people btw.

at some point, hyunjin falls asleep. changbin goes back to sleep too. cuties.

and they could be doing this more, would help a lot, but when not, they’re at your place. everyone is at your place. it’s not your place anymore. it’s theirs too. they have collectively decided that your space is now their space. your time is their time.

like, some days you walk in, and felix is on your couch, flipping through one of your magazines like he can actually read. (he can)

he looks up when you come in, smiling ear to ear. “oh, hey.”

“hi, lix. what are you doing?”

“reading.” such a cutie. “my horoscope says i’m gonna change the world.”

“amazing, sweetie.”

and when you turn your head because hyunjin is talking to you about how the moon looks like your left tit or whatever emo shit he’s on today, and when you turn back, felix is eating the paper.

you don’t even have the energy to yell anymore. you just take the rest of the magazine before he eats the whole thing.

you like your magazines.

sometimes when the boys are all too much, too loud, too physical, too on you, and you need to calm down before you lose your mind or commit a homicide of your own, you sit down, grab the latest issue, and you read it. close every single one of them out. usually perfect legs crossed, flipping pages while han is trying to climb on top of the fridge, seungmin is shooting at changbin(your neighbors just started moving not too long ago), that’s the game, changbin has to dodge, jeongin climbs onto the back of the couch, start braiding tiny sections of your hair while talking to you. “and then i told the guy i was gonna wear his face as a mask for you, but he screamed so loud i had to—” you hum and don’t pay attention. felix is usually on the floor gnawing on something (sometimes a bone, sometimes one of your socks) making happy little noises, watching the others or plays with them when invited, minho stands there holding one of your bras, sniffing it every few minutes(fucking creep??? hello???), hyunjin tries to read over your shoulder. “this writer doesn’t understand true longing. i would kill myself for you.” chan’s the only one who sometimes just sits next to you quietly(when not sharpening something with little metal shavings accidentally ending up in your hair), arm around your shoulders, scrolling on his phone like a normal(ish) boyfriend until seungmin starts shit talking and they throw hands. it drives them insane because they want your attention so bad but you’re over here reading about skincare while three of them have their dicks out.

you need it because they’re always on you. touching you. leaning on you. sitting too close. standing too close. breathing too close. you’ll be in the kitchen and suddenly there’s a hand on you, any part of you. sometimes head, arm, the boyfriends get private areas privilege of course, whatnot. you’ll be on the couch and someone’s arm is around you. you’ll be walking somewhere and someone’s grabbed your wrist, your hand, your sleeve, something.

“where are you going?”

“over there.”

“why?”

“because i want to.”

“…come back.”

so you need your magazines to ignore them sometimes. and, surprisingly, they don’t bother you that much when they see you’re reading. well, they don’t stop bothering you, they still talk your ear off, but at least don’t rip the magazine out of your hands so you pay attention to them.

when shit gets too… well, psychotic, these men are sick and need you to stop them sometimes, we know that, sometimes you just shove the magazine into seungmin’s hands. he’s usually the closest to you. and you know he’ll hold it.

“read this and shut up for five minutes.” you say, going to the kitchen where minho and felix are about to castrate each other.

seungmin bitches “this is fucking stupid, why do women need ten tips for everything, just suck dick better, why am i—” but two minutes later he’s fully invested in the “sex tips for women who like it rough” article, eyebrows raised, nodding while reading.

you come back ten minutes later with jeongin crying because felix tried to bite his dick and seungmin’s just quietly reading under his breath “pro tip, communicate your needs… yeah no shit.” he hands it back without looking at you, face a little red. “mid.”

they’re always on your dick. you try to pee in peace and the bathroom door creaks open and one of them is just standing there. like changbin, saying “just making sure you’re okay, baby.”

“fuck are you looking at, get out.”

“okay. you’re so cute.” he says, smiling and waving.

chan will knock once, then walk in anyway, starts talking to you. he acts the most normal of them. acts. doesn’t mean he is. he’s not.

han will wander in scratching his balls, go “oh shit sorry” then just stand there watching. fascinated. “you pee like a girl… that’s so cool…” ??? okay??? once he got so excited he started clapping. “wow you’re really going!! good job!!”

seungmin doesn’t really come in unless he needs something or just wants to annoy you, but not like he minds the fact that you’re peeing. once the second you wrapped your used pad up he took it from your hands and threw it into the tiny trash can for you. you, to this day, genuinely can’t decide if that was cute or fucking creepy.

and your bedroom? fucking circus. you have one bed. one. one! you’re lucky that it’s a big bed, but not big enough for the fact that all of these men, freshly feeling men, deeply in love men, want to sleep touching you.

han is glued to you, nonnegotiable. if he doesn’t get to be next to you, it’s “no—no, i’m staying—i’m staying right here—” it’s too much, but you love him. it’s also kind of sad. it’s also incredibly fucking inconvenient when there are also other people in the room.

seungmin is just “this is disgusting.” “move over.” “why is he breathing like that.” “why is everyone breathing like that.” but god forbid he’s not involved.

chan just decides where he’s sleeping and everyone else adjusts accordingly. daddy has built this system up himself.

and you want changbin there, and no way you don’t get what you want(except for peace but whatever) so changbin will be touching you one way or another. that gives him more confidence too nowadayd.

you wake up some mornings with han drooling on your tit, seungmin’s arm over your waist, changbin curled up at your feet the baby(execute him now), and chan somehow taking up half the mattress, with an arm behind your neck!! then you look down and felix is on the floor waiting for you to wake up and spend time with him, jeongin is spooning a pillow, hyunjin is writing something on the ceiling with a marker(???), and minho is standing in the corner watching everyone. waves to you. you hate them. (you love them more than anything and you’re unbelievably grateful for them no matter how horrible they are to the world)

and naturally, now that they’re all over you and see that the others are also all over you, they will… not want to be all over the others too. difficult wording, point here, jealousy.

not so serious that they’ll kill each other(except if you’re minho, he’d kill anyone), god no, but still. some of them are fine with sharing, some get a bit jealous. (but still would share if you told them to. anything you want, y/n.)

right now, the mainly hated one is chan.

well, they actually love chan, in the limited way serial killers can love anything that isn’t themselves and their needs to kill. they look up to him. he’s the most put together in any given situation, minho and felix trying to rip each other’s faces off or jeongin threatening to “end it all” over a bad haircut that’s not even bad and he’s the only one who thinks so, chan’s daddy ass steps in and everything is fine in five minutes. okay, sure, he had to break hyunjin’s collarbone once, but still settled shit.

they respect him. they copy him sometimes. they see how he acts with you and try the same. but right now, mostly they want to kill him.

he’s spending solo time with you today. they know. it makes them want to hang themselves.

right now, hyunjin and felix are… somewhere. no one really knows where they decided to go, just that hyunjin needed to get out and felix followed because he likes hyunjin’s company. (let’s note that he doesn’t know he likes hyunjin’s company, his brain likes it without him being conscious of it.) so they’re spending time together in an alley behind a building. felix is gnawing on a forearm, making disgusting, crunching sounds while he talks to hyunjin.

“and then i was like, wait, what if you just—”

“yeah.”

“right? like you don’t even have to—”

“no, yeah.”

“and then it just, like, came off, right? like, completely off. i didn’t even know that could happen, but then minho told me to put it down and i really—“

“deep.”

hyunjin hasn’t heard a single word. not one. he’s staring off into the distance, mind somewhere else entirely. guess where, you. every few minutes felix offers him a bite and hyunjin politely declines without even looking at felix, it would be hard for anyone else, felix is beautiful. hyunjin just doesn’t care now. it’s sweet that felix still keeps offering the boys bites even though they always say no. he’s either thoughtful or thoughtless and forgot they keep declining. anyways, he swings his legs, talks, goes on, while hyunjin drinks, and drinks, and drinks.

minho and jeongin are out getting rid of a body together, the two of them dragging a trash bag through the woods. they don’t talk much. but they’re having fun. seungmin is waiting in the car, he’s not in the mood for moving around now.

changbin and han are at changbin’s(and hyunjin’s but whatever he’s not home) place.

han is whining. “i miss her already, man, what if—”

changbin has him by the collar, holding him in place with one massive fucking arm holy shit so hot while he stirs something on the stove. “she’s fine, buddy. just chill. i made pasta. eat.”

han tries to run toward the door again and changbin yanks him back. brutal respect to him for never once raising his voice, by the way.

so. you and chan have your place to yourselves. you’re in the kitchen doing shit, chopping things or stirring whatever’s in the pot, while chan is behind you.

he’s such a sex symbol. moves behind you without a sound, psychopath quiet really, big hands on your hips. he leans down, presses a soft kiss to the side of your head. “smells good.” reaches around to steal a piece of whatever you’re chopping, puts it in his mouth, and hums. approval. “missed you today.” he whispers. that, is harder to say. but he did great.

you lean back into him. “missed you too. how was the… thing?” you don’t say kill out loud. ew ew ew. sometimes you dance around it, sometimes you don’t. today feels like dancing.

it’s brutal development, where we are now, where you are about what they do. but you love them this way, learn to accept it.

“i did good. guy begged like a lil bitch at the end but that’s nothing new. told him to shut up and think about his family. made it faster for him.”

you turn your head enough to look at him, to see his pretty face, tasting the sauce off the wooden spoon. offer it back over your shoulder for him. “here. try this. too much basil?”

he takes the spoon, tastes it. nods. “perfect. you always nail it.” he sets the spoon down and wraps both arms around your waist now, pulling you back against him.

it’s weird, that killing gives him this much of a rush. a man who can be this gentle with you is that evil.

and you also give him that rush. you do the same shit to his nervous system but worse. or better, y’know. he gets these random adrenaline rushes just from the way you do even the most insignificant shit like sneezing. now his heart rate raises like it does when he’s chasing someone, so blood reacts to that, and oh look at that, his dick is filling slowly because his body chose you.

the part in his brain that used to only light up for, to react to violence, now does that for your voice. for your anything really, your whole being. he loves it, living with this now. weird. makes him feel human, that used to make him want to peel his skin off.

he’s so in love it’s dumb. lame. his psychology’s new, attachment that used to be impossible for a guy like him now feels like oxygen. you’re the only thing that brings him good emotions all the time. every little interaction with you, or just thinking about you really, gets his dopamine, his dumb man body, higher than any kill ever did.

so, his cock’s half hard now, pressing against the front of his jeans, and it’s not even because his brain got sexual information, it’s because you simply make him this happy.

before you, he thought this shit, talking, touching, just existing in the same room, was a waste of time, oh he didn’t need it. now he’d watch you do this for hours. he’d watch you sleep, he does.

you turn your head to look at him and he catches your mouth in a kiss, no tongue, just wet mouth on mouth. when he pulls back his eyes are dark, pupils big from the love and lust flooding his system. looks good on him. the white feather hawk tail deer hunter likes to keep me cold in the hot breeze summer ever.

“keep cooking, i’m good right here.” he murmurs, not wanting to stop your little woman activity for his dumb dick. but he could cum like this if he let himself, really could, humping you while you finish dinner, spilling in his pants because you do that to him. but he won’t.

“mm.” you reply. “give me time then, i want you to try this for sure. just thought i’d make something you like. i know you love spicy.”

he puts his cheek to your cheek. heartless psychopath, by the way. “i do. you know me so well.”

let’s ignore that he can’t deal with spicy. loves it, tolerating it is another case entirely. you know that, he forgets sometimes.

“i want to know you so well. i care about you, you know. so i worry. what if one day something goes wrong out there? what if you don’t come back? i don’t know what i’d do with all these assholes without you keeping them in line.”

chan smiles. he presses another kiss to your temple, then your cheek. “i always come back. got too much to come home to now.” his hands slide a little higher, palms on your sides, holding you closer. “tell me about your day. you were out earlier. anything interesting?”

“usual. ran into jeongin at the store. he obviously followed me there, but didn’t cause trouble so it was fine. i told him to tone it down or i’m banning him from the apartment for a week, and han tried to cheer him up by offering to share his ‘special’ energy drink. which is just vodka and red bull. they both ended up puking in the bathtub. they left after that. nothing else, actually.

chan hums and holds you to himself, letting you feel him. “fuck, baby. you feel good. always do.”

you bite your lip, getting all horny now too. “yeah?”

“mhm.” he hums, grinding against you a bit. just a little bit, not like, han, who would be full on humping you now. he looks away. “feels good when you worry.”

this is huge, coming from someone this closed off. the progress you made with these boys should get an award, no joke. it’s serious shit.

you add more things into the pan because they need vegetables and thankfully all eats them. then lean back into him more, letting him hold your weight. he’ll always hold your weight. “i do worry, chan. you’re not invincible. promise me you’ll be careful?”

his hips press in again, cock going between your asscheeks over the clothes. it’s not to start anything, just to relieve the situation in his pants. he’s obviously listening to you, kisses the side of your neck even, open mouthed and wet. hot. “i promise, baby. careful as i can be.” another press of his hips, more upwards, breath hitching just slightly. “talk to me more.”

you hum, giving everything a stir in the pan. “okay, fine. i’ve been thinking about getting a bigger place. this one bedroom is killing me with all eight of you basically living here. but then i think about moving and i get this weird panic because… what if the new place doesn’t feel like home? what if it’s too big and you all spread out?”

“mm. i get it. it’s grown on me too.”

you hum, focusing on the food even as your body responds to this man’s whole being. “i’ve been reading this article in one of my magazines about how to deal with difficult people. thought it was funny because none of the tips apply to you guys. ‘set boundaries’ yeah right, tried and didn’t work. ‘communicate calmly’ i do but it doesn’t do anything. but with you they work. you listen.“ you mumble. this is not favoritism, you love the others just as much as you love chan, it’s just a fact that he’s easier to deal with. “anyways, how was your day besides the thing? you went out earlier with minnie, right? didn’t come back covered in blood this time, so i’m guessing you two ate out or something? went well?”

“no that was murder too.”

“oh.”

“seungmin got a little creative with a crowbar, but it wasn’t that serious. you should be proud.”

you put your head back against his chest, smiling. “i am. the others couldn’t do that. han told me he almost set the couch on fire yesterday trying to ‘impress’ felix with some dumb lighter trick. you hear about that?”

he rocks you a little. it’s not even to relieve his boner, it’s just to be close to you. “heard the smoke alarm. changbin had to put the fire out. should’ve seen his face, he thought he ruined dinner for you.”

“poor bin.” you say, genuinely feeling a little bad. you add some soy sauce to the pan. sizzles. “he tries so hard. last week he brought me flowers, it was so cute. you notice how he’s been smiling more since… well, since he got added?”

he watches over your shoulder as you toss the things in the pan around. “yeah. innie’s worse though. he tried to do push ups in the living room to ‘bulk up’ so you’d notice him more. got to twenty, then felix walked by eating a sandwich and jeongin got distracted, fell on the carpet. nosebleed everywhere. han laughed so hard he pissed himself a little. changbin tried to help clean it up but used your good towel. the pink one.”

“NO.”

he hisses. “yeah, sorry.”

you sigh, reaching back with one hand to pat his thigh. “whatever, i’ll ask felix for a new one. speaking of, did you see what he did to my last magazine? ate half of it. i don’t even know how to respond to that anymore.”

his hands squeeze your hips as he rolls against you again, his cock pressing nicely between your cheeks. still patient though. “i’ll talk to him.”

“god, he’s so empty up there.” you say fondly. the food’s starting to look done. “but he tries. in his weird way. two days ago he brought me a flower. like one. picked it himself. it was sweet.”

chan’s hips keep humping into yours, sometimes in circles. “they all try. even seungmin. he bitched about your magazine the other day but i saw him reading the how to squirt article when he thought nobody was looking. turned the page so fast when i walked in. almost ripped it.”

you giggle. “he’s an angel. he leaves hickeys shaped like hearts sometimes. don’t tell him i noticed.“

“wouldn’t dream of it, baby.” oh, his voice is getting a little rougher, but he keeps the conversation going like nothing’s happening below the waist. skill. his free hand reaches around to steal a piece of broccoli from the pan, pops it in his mouth.

you turn the heat down and you lean back into him completely now, and he takes this deep, slow breath.

you smile, god, it’s weird that a smile comes so natural for you, compared to them, eyes half closed, enjoying him.“hey. i saw a bruise on your ribs two days ago when you were changing. it looked kinda nasty. you never told me how you got it. still hurting?”

he huffs against your hair, hips moving against your ass because he can’t help it. “no big deal. just some guy got lucky. nothing broken. barely even feel it anymore.”

you don’t buy it for a second. you turn around in his arms, grabbing the hem of his shirt and tugging it upward. “let me see anyway.”

chan raises an eyebrow, the one without the cute little mole, but lifts his arms to help, that calm, sexy smirk on his face(embodiment of dr dr feel good come make me feel real good fr) as you peel the shirt off over his head and drop it on the counter behind him. oh that’s dada right there. even with the bruise on his left side, ugly, purple yellow thing spread across his ribs, fresh.

your heart does a little twist, these guys are brutal, survive anything basically, but seeing him like this still makes you worry.

you’re the only one who worries for them like this. who knows them like this.

“fuck, chan… that looks like it hurts more than you’re letting on.”

you keep looking at him, not the bruise only,(of course) but just savoring that this is your man. that your man has this chest, these shoulders, these traps, these biceps, triceps, and not to forget that light little happy trail starting under his belly button, leading down into his jeans where his cock is visibly straining, begging for your attention.

it’s really important that it’s begging for yours specifically.

your hand slides down his stomach, fingertips moving over his abs, then lower. you cup him through his jeans, feeling how he presses against the layers of clothing. giving him a gentle squeeze, then a slow little tug, petting the outline of his cock.

chan takes a cute, deep little breath but he stays still, letting you touch however you want. “y/n…” he mutters, plea. there’s a tiny smile on his mouth. you want to rip him apart.

instead, you pull your groping hand away(the way his chest rises at that is panty dropping) and press under his belly button instead, pushing him back gently until his ass hits the edge of the counter.

he goes easy, leaning against it, watching you, letting you manhandle him because it’s you. his hands settle on the counter behind him.

you step in, rise up on your toes, and kiss him.

it’s slow. loving. a psychopath’s love on your lips, really. tasting each other.

one of his hands comes up to cradle the back of your head, the other on your waist, the soft wet sounds of making out in the quiet kitchen or the occasional pop from the cooling pan.

when you finally pull back you tilt your head and kiss along his jaw, then down to his neck. your mouth latches on, sucking blood up to the surface hard, leaving a trail of dark hickeys across his skin. so everyone will see it tomorrow and know exactly who put it there.

one goes right over the tendon that flexes when he swallows. that’s your favorite.

chan tilts his head to give you more room, sighing and grabbing into your hair in pleasure, letting you mark him up.

you keep going, down, down, down, kissing down the center of his chest now. your knees don’t even mind their position so just that your tongue can flick out over one of his nipples, circling it before you close your lips around it and suck gently.

chan’s hand pulls lightly at your hair, a soft grunt escaping him.

you part from him, giving the peaked little nipple(god you’re crazy about men’s nipples) one last little flick before you leave to lick across to the other one, giving it the same love, teeth involved now to make his abs tense under your finger.

lower. you sink down slowly, knees bending until you’re crouching in front of him, eyes locked on his the whole way. your hands slide up his thighs, feeling the muscle there before you lean in and press a soft kiss right to the bruise on his ribs.

soft, careful kisses right over the discolored skin. little pecks that turn into longer presses of your lips, tongue poking out on his hot skin. he’s such a man. a babe too, deep down.

“kissing it better.” you murmur on his skin, lips on the bruise where it’s turning yellowish now.

“it’s better already, baby. swear.”

you smile on the bruise and kiss it again. “good. i hate when you get hurt and don’t tell me. i want you to come home to me in one piece.”

“i always do.” he murmurs. his hand strokes your scalp gently. “always come back to you.”

you move across his stomach then, kissing every inch of skin, dipping your tongue into his belly button for a second to hear the way his breath stutters. he likes that. then back up a little, licking over his nipples again on the way, sucking one into your mouth while your hand strokes lightly over his side.

back up, eventually, standing up again so you can kiss his mouth once more. this time chan meets you halfway, kissing you deeper now, tongue trying to meet yours immediately. big bad psycho man needed this now.

and he’s still so, so hard for you.

when you break the kiss you go back down again, lips finding his neck for more hickeys. you suck a particularly dark one on his collarbone, then soothe it with your tongue. not even close to the tendon’s number one spot in your favorites, but this looks good too. chan’s head is tipped back, eyes half lidded, blissed the fuck out. you kiss lower again, across his chest.

you move down to give the bruise another round of soft kisses, murmuring “still kissing it better.”

“it’s perfect now. doesn’t hurt at all. you fixed it.”

you always fix everything.

you give his hipbone a loving squeeze with both hands, then just again, rise up and kiss his neck again, add another hickey, then find his mouth.

now it’s getting mf wet. lips pulling and sucking until your knees are weak and it’s practically chan holding you up. but why wouldn’t he when you pour this much care into every kiss, every lick, every mark?

he can’t believe that he’s this lucky to have you. he’ll have to go and thank hyunjin for choosing you back then. hyunjin, who chan doesn’t feel bad for even while clearly seeing what he’s going through. he simply couldn’t care when you’re there and in his mind instead. plus the dude will live anyway.

you lose track of how many times you travel that path. down and up, kissing, licking, sucking, making out. each round slower than the last. his neck is a mess of hickeys now, a field really, body hot and flushed, the bruise looking the same but he said you fixed it so you fixed it. his cock stays hard the whole time, straining, leaking a little but no seeping through, but you never touch it again after that first tease. this isn’t about getting him off. it’s about you caring for your man, showing him with your mouth and hands that he matters, that his bruises get kissed, that his cold little psycho heart is safe with you, as crazy that is to say.

you could do this all night.

you pull back to look at him. his eyes are heavy, so beautiful, biiiiig lips a little red, fresh hickeys looking good on his skin. he looks thoroughly kissed and completely content. the dream man.

“hungry?” you ask quietly, nodding toward the cold food.

chan smiles, so rare. “starving, baby. but not for that.”

he leans in and kisses you again, slow, hands sliding to your skin now.

you make everything perfect in his feelingless little world. you make the black and white colorful. you put a meaning into everything.

hours later you’re tangled up in your bed now, sheets kicked halfway off because the two of you went at it like animals after allat slow kissing in the kitchen getting both of you hot and bothered. clothes gone in a second, man fucked you into the mattress until both of you were shaking and swearing and cumming so loud(the way chan was shouting was delicious) the neighbors probably thought someone was getting murdered (again). now the afterglow has you both… like this, naked, sticky, limbs around each other.

chan’s face is on your tummy, cheek on your skin, arm draped over your hip. babe’s almost asleep, breathing slowly, warm puffs ghosting over your belly button every time he exhales. he’s about to fall asleep.

you’re on your back, legs loosely tangled with his, one hand buried in his hair while the other rests on his broad shoulder.

the state you left him in is fucking brutal.

his whole torso is… wow. dark hickeys on his chest, some overlapping where you sucked the same spot twice. a lot of them. like an unsettling amount at this point. there’s a line of them down his stomach, fading into smaller ones right above where his cock is now soft and tucked against your thigh. his nipples are still a little puffy and red from how long you licked and sucked them. you even left a set of teeth marks on the inside of his left pec because you got carried away when he hit that spot inside you. his eyes rolled back then.

his back is shredded with your nail marks, long, red scratches running from his shoulder blades all the way down to the dimples above his ass. you can feel the raised lines under your fingertips when you slide your hand down there. that’s how rough you went. you’ll have to put something on it tomorrow. some cream. one particularly wild scratch is around his ribcage, right next to the bruise you spent so long kissing better earlier. on the side of his face, right under his cheekbone, there’s a fading set of nail marks where you grabbed him while he was pounding into you and you were cumming so hard you saw stars. and then there’s the hickey on his right ass cheek, even though it’s currently hidden under the crumpled sheet.

but right now, your full focus is on his curls.

you’re obsessed with them. they’re so soft, a little damp from sweat, so cute over his forehead and around his ears. like wdym boys have their little hairs too and they live with it.

you thread your fingers through it slowly, scratching lightly at his scalp with your nails when not gently tugging at the hair itself.

chan’s eyes are closed but they’re rolling the fuck back from pleasure under his pretty lids. he even lets out these tiny little “mhmfp” sounds and (which he doesn’t notice) his legs kick a little.

you smile at your big strong scary boyfriend and massage the base of his skull with your fingertips. another soft sound from him. his arm tightens around your hip before it loses tension again because you hit a good spot.

“your hair’s so fucking pretty.” you murmur. you don’t expect an answer. chan isn’t big on pillow talk about feelings, but he listens. he always listens when you talk. he’s okay with you talking.

he knows you know. communication, obviously. hyunjin should learn.

you gather a handful of curls at the crown of his head and give a gentle tug, then release, watching them bounce back into place. chan’s eyelashes flutter against your skin and he makes almost a purr now. you repeat, scratching behind his ear with your nails, then smoothing the curls down only to mess them up again on purpose. all the tension he carries around (the kills, the other seven, the constant everything on everything) just drains out through your touch.

you were born to deal with these psychos, and each of them was born to be right in your palm.

you twirl one curl around your index finger until it’s tight, hold it for a second, then let go so it springs free. cute. chan’s lips part against your tummy and he lets out a quiet “fuck…” under his breath. he can feel his love for you in his arms, not just his huge chest.

you’re like some cat, entertained by this. just playing around. how are they supposed to take your seriously like this??

you drag your nails from his hairline all the way back, then repeat, over and over. soothing. every pass earns you another one of those little sounds, sometimes a hum, sometimes just the tiniest hitch in his breath. big bad man who can choke someone out with one hand and stay completely calm while doing it is currently putty because you’re giving his hair some love.

you trace the shell of his ear with one fingertip, then bury your fingers back into the hair behind it. chan nuzzles closer to your tummy, nose(that you like riding so much) pressing into the soft skin there.

“i could do this for hours. they’re softer than they look, you know that? and the way they curl right here at the nape of your neck… fuck, channie. it’s so cute how hot you are even when you’re being all sweet like this.” type shit good dick makes you say.

“not sweet.” he mumbles, voice muffled and kinda raspy from all the groaning he did earlier. it sounds adorable. “just… tired. you wore me out.”

“hm.”

you know him. he won’t suddenly start talking about his feelings or how much he loves you out loud. but the way his arm squeezes your hip, the way his whole body relaxed on yours(means a lot coming from a psycho who was never felt attachment before) the way he keeps making those baby little noises every time you hit a good spot, that’s his version of i’m so fucking in love with you.

you keep playing with his hair for a long time. sometimes you just let your fingers rest in the curls, feeling the warmth of his scalp. boy warmth. sometimes you tug a little harder, and he rewards you with a deeper sound on your belly.

his nail marked back rises and falls under your arm. so sweet. he’s just a little meow meow(an unbelievably disgusting man to walk this earth)

you tug at a curl, watch it bounce, and smile when chan makes a little sound again. it’s so attractive. more attractive when you remember how fast he can snap spines. weird, how slowly you began to get over these little images. they’re not upsetting anymore, but seeing it in real life would still freak you out, no doubt.

you do it once more, then smooth everything down with your palm, only to mess it all up again because you can’t help yourself.

“love your curls so much.” you murmur scratching behind his ear. “love you, baby.”

chan, sleepy psycho he is, turns his face to press a kiss right below your belly button, then settles again, cheek back on your tummy.

god, you really do love this man.

“Y/N!!!”

han.

home.

the front door slams. immediately after you hear changbin’s slightly panicked voice “jis, buddy, please, calm down, they’re probably resting—”

something crashes. glass? a lamp? maybe the coffee table. another crash, louder. a third noise sounds suspiciously like a chair being thrown across the living room???

you and chan both sigh at the exact same time.

“should’ve locked the door.” he mutters.

before you can answer, the bedroom door flies open.

“hi y/n!! hi chan!!” han says, already kicking his shoes off so hard one of them smacks the wall and leaves a black little stain. you keep telling him to take them off at the door. “you guys won’t believe the day i had! i tried to steal this guy’s car but the keys were in his pocket so i had to cut his pocket off first and then the pocket had a hole and the keys fell into a sewer grate and then felix tried to reach in after them but his arm got stuck and—” he’s talking a mile a minute while simultaneously peeling his shirt off over his head. pants next, he hops on one foot, almost falls, catches himself on the dresser, then yanks them down along with his boxers halfway before stopping and pulling the boxers back up. he leaves them on, thank god. “—and then the guy woke up even though i swore i hit him hard enough and he started screaming so i had to sit on his face until he stopped moving and his nose made this wet crunch sound and blood came out his ears and it was so gross but also kinda funny and then changbin said i couldn’t keep the car anyway because it had blood on the seats—”

he fucking lifts the covers like it’s his god given fucking right and crawls into bed, wiggling between you and chan. half on top of you, one arm over your waist, face nuzzling into the side of your bare boob. his leg kicks out, his foot ends up between chan’s ass cheeks under the sheets.

chan doesn’t even fucking care anyone, just shifts his hips because whatever it’s han.

han’s pretty voice is slightly muffled against your tit now. “anyway i missed you so much i thought about you the whole time even when i was pulling that guy’s teeth out with pliers and you smell like sex. that’s nice. did chan make you cum a lot? he’s good at that. i’m getting better too, remember last time i lasted four minutes instead of two—”

changbin catches up, now at the door too looking exhausted. “i tried. i really tried to keep him outside longer. he just… ran.”

you smile, still playing with chan’s hair with one hand while the other reaches out toward changbin “c’mere, baby. it’s fine.”

he doesn’t need telling twice. he strips fast, shirt folded (really important that he folds it), pants folded, everything placed carefully on the chair(seungmin usually sits in when is not in the mood but still wants to be involved in some way) like a good boy before he closes the door behind himself. then he climbs into bed on your other side, under the covers and cuddling up to you with his head on your shoulder, one big arm going on you too, just under han’s dumb arm and above chan’s being.

now. we got, chan’s face still on your tummy, han’s face in your tits, changbin’s face tucked into your neck, his thigh just where his underwear ends next to chan’s head, and han’s foot still living happily between chan’s asscheeks. chan doesn’t mention it. han sure as fuck doesn’t notice.

you hum, a little sleepy. “seungmin is gonna be so fucking mad when he finds out he missed this. left out again. he’s gonna lose his shit. someone should text him.”

han lifts his pretty head to nod. “yeah. last time he found out we had group time without him he got so pissed he took it out on that one delivery guy. seungmin dragged him into the alley, beat his face in with the pizza box, then used the guy’s own belt to strangle him. the pizza was cold by the time we ate it. sad.”

changbin noses at your skin. “or remember when han accidentally sat in min’s favorite spot on the couch? he didn’t say anything, just waited until han went to take a piss, then followed him into the bathroom, slammed his head into the mirror three times, and made him apologize to the toilet while bleeding everywhere.”

han giggles. “yeah!! my forehead scar is from that! looks kinda cool though. he said ‘next time i’ll use the plunger’ and i believed him so i don’t sit there anymore.”

you snort, still playing with chan’s hair. “jesus. and the stranger thing last month?”

han is visibly excited to tell you about that, foot flexing happily between chan’s cheeks. “oh oh!! seungmin was already mad because jeongin stole his last cigarette, so when this random dude at the gas station bumped into him and didn’t say sorry, he grabbed the guy by the hair, slammed his face into the pump like eight times, then ripped the nozzle out and shoved it down the dude’s throat. started pumping gas straight into his stomach. guy died. we had to hose min off.”

changbin sighs into your shoulder. “he does get… creative when he’s angry. last time he thought chan was hogging you too much he keyed chan’s car with the word ‘selfish’ and then slashed all four tires. chan just fixed it and told seungmin to grow up. seungmin punched a hole in the wall after.”

“he’s lucky i like you more than i like my car.” chan mumbles into your stomach.

“mhm.” comes from han. “he also stabbed jeongin in the thigh with a fork then. jeongin screamed so loud felix dropped his human finger sandwich. he still walks funny sometimes. anyway, he can stay mad. i’m comfy. can i sleep here forever? even if seungmin comes home and tries to castrate me with a spoon?” home. like aw his psycho brain recognized this place as home.

changbin yawns, cuddling closer. “he probably will try. but i’ll protect you. mostly. unless he brings the brick again.” the brick. what could have that been.

you hum an agreement out. too lazy to speak. (but not to play with chan’s hair)

yeah long story short seungmin did end up losing his shit the next morning.

he walked in, already tired and done with everything(but when is he not) saw the four of you tangled up naked and cuddly, and went aaaall the fuck out. didn’t touch you, didn’t even look at you wrong. you’re his god. instead he grabbed changbin by the throat, slammed him into the wall, and started hitting him. men.

changbin, brutal respect to him here(zero respect he’s a murderer), took the first three punches like a champ, blood already dripping from his lip, before he finally swung back because seungmin wasn’t stopping.

they took it to the living room. seungmin headbutted changbin, so he picked seungmin up and body slammed him through the coffee table. seungmin came up laughing like a fucking maniac, genuinely what the fuck is his problem, tackled changbin into the tv, and they rolled around punching and choking and bleeding all over your floor.

they finally stopped when seungmin bit changbin’s shoulder hard enough to draw blood and make him unable to use that arm since the muscle hurt that much and changbin accidentally elbowed him in the balls. both of them ended up on the floor panting, covered in each other’s blood, too tired to keep going.

you made them both clean the mess while you and chan and han ate in bed.

but seungmin never once got mad at you. not even a little. you’re the only thing in his life that doesn’t get this treatment. you’re sacred.

he respects you like crazy. dead serious.

example, last week you told him “minnie, babe, can you keep an eye on felix? i won’t be home and he keeps chasing the mailman and i’m tired of it.”

“got it.”

later you come home and felix is tied to a kitchen chair with zip ties and a gag in his mouth. gnawing on the gag making happy cannibal noises but doesn’t move an inch. package is sitting untouched on the counter. that night you licked seungmin head to toe for that. he melted the fuck away. submissive babe.

another time you’re running late and you text him “make sure han eats something before 8pm. he gets hangry and starts humping the furniture.”

seungmin replies with a thumbs up emoji (which is the most effort he ever puts into texting). when you get home han is sitting at the table eating a full plate of spaghetti while seungmin stands over him with crossed arms. han has sauce all over his face and is mumbling “this is so good bro thank you”

you once told him “if jeongin is in the kitchen for more than twenty minutes, drag his ass outside and make him run laps until he keeps his cocktail recipes to himself.”

next day jeongin comes back sweaty and red faced, thighs burning, muttering “seungmin made me sprint while he timed me.”

seungmin just shrugs when you look at him. “he did eight laps. you’re welcome.”

you told him once that the group chat was getting too spammy and you wanted one day of peace. he immediately changed the group name to “shut the fuck up unless someone’s dead” and then threatened to remove anyone’s tongue if they messaged you after 8pm. jeongin sent a dick pic next to a corpse at 8:45. seungmin showed up at jeongin’s place ten minutes later with a pair of pliers. innie still can’t feel his left pinky. you took this rule out of order because you knew worse shit will happen.

he’s a violent, mean, sick fuck to everyone else on the planet, but the second you speak he turns into the most loyal little dog who ever lived. it’s actually kinda hot.

anyway.

days later you told the others you needed one single afternoon of peace with just changbin. they all whined except seungmin, and he teamed up with jeongin and hyunjin to entertain han for the day. they took him to the zoo.

han, to start the day, tried to climb into the monkey enclosure but luckily fell off. jeongin flirted with three different zookeepers trying to get them to let han “pet the big cats.” hyunjin drew the penguins and showed it to the sea lions. seungmin mostly stood there smoking, threatening to skin anyone who looked at the others wrong, but even he cracked a smile when han tried to hug a llama and got spit on.

at some point hyunjin stood at the lion exhibit monologuing about how the lions understood his pain and maybe he should just live in the savanna now. why is he fucking hilarious. han tried to feed the monkeys his own fingers. seungmin slapped his hand away. jeongin tried to steal a peacock feather for you and got chased by security. hyunjin cried because the butterflies were “too free and i am trapped in my longing for y/n.” seungmin threatened to throw all three of them into the shark tank if they didn’t behave. they behaved for exactly eleven minutes before han saw the gift shop and sprinted inside.

by noon, he almost got fucking bitten like three times. he kept pointing at every animal and yelling for the others to look too, jeongin flirted with the zookeeper girl so hard she gave him free popcorn, then immediately turned around and told hyunjin “she’s nothing compared to y/n.” they lost hyunjin for twelve whole minutes. he was talking with a dad whose kid was running around screaming.

at the end of the day they had dirt on then, ice cream, and a new knife. jeongin had hickeys from making out with the gift shop girl who slapped him after he moaned “y/n” into the kiss. he really did it just to imagine it was you kissing him. hyunjin was quietly crying into his notebook.

which brings us here.

you and changbin are finally alone in the big corner bathtub, water hot enough that steam is fogging the mirror and changbin is fucking dying inside but would rather boil alive than complain. the jets are not on a big setting, so they’re just working a bit on binnie’s back, and the whole bathroom smells like your fancy bath salts that you love and of course the boys will buy for you!!

the water is perfect for you, relaxing, changbin is lowkey dying. his chest and shoulders are turning red from the heat, little beads of sweat rolling down his temples, but he doesn’t say a single word. whatever you want goes.

you’re straddling his lap facing him, arms around his neck. his hands rest gently on your hips under the water, giving you all the love his sick little heart has.

you lean in and kiss him softly, lips sliding together warm and wet from the steam. really wet, he has to die from the heat. send help. but he kisses back just as gentle, tongue brushing yours in wet little strokes. you pull back a little, smile, then kiss him again, noses bumping, water sloshing quietly around you. creates a nice atmosphere.

your hands go down to move up and down his sides, nails dragging lightly over his wet skin. just teasing, running from his ribs down to his hips and back up again. naked men hips are breathtaking, on all eight of them.

every touch makes changbin shiver even in the boiling water. he makes a soft little sound into your mouth, almost a little moan, and kisses you again, sweeter. he could do this for hours and never get tired. well maybe he could pass out from the heat instead whatever.

you tilt your head, kiss the corner of his mouth, then his bottom lip, sucking on it gently before sliding your tongue back in. his hands tighten on your hips, then relaxes again, brain trying to deal with all these feelings.

you keep running your nails up his sides, soothing. he shudders, has to pull away to breathe for a second, then captures your mouth again in another kiss. innocent one.

his hands slide up from your hips, slow. sweet, not the palms that break bones but the palms that find your tits, cupping them both from underneath. so precious to him. he’s holding. thumbs brushing little circles over the soft skin next to your nipples, the more inside of your boobs, closer to your sternum. so loving. a man’s love, for you.

his psycho mind is still catching up to all of this, you can tell. the only high he ever chased was the wet pop of a neck snapping or the way blood sprayed across his face when he carved someone the fuck up. that was love to him. that was everything. (and his car. he loves that car.)

now he feels for you. love. actual love. really a still going crush that makes his chest hurt in the middle of a kill and get him excited that he’ll get to see you later.

but god, it also makes him do shit like this.

he leans in and kisses you again, wetter, weaker this time, mouth slow and so fucking sweet. his lips are plush from the steam, a little swollen already from how long you’ve been making out. he parts them on yours, tongue sliding in, tasting the inside of your mouth, he’s got all day to explore after all.

no rush.

just gentle, the soft suck of his bottom lip pulling yours in, then releasing, then doing it again.

you feel the way his jaw moves under your palm when you cup his face, the pretty shape of it flexing while he kisses you. it’s so intimate. only you can give him this.

one of his hands stays on your tit, while the other slides down your side, not once leaving your beloved skin, all the way to your ass. grips it gently, palm full of you, pulling you bit closer so your chests press together.

his little tummy squishes nice against your stomach when you settle in, so attractive. combined with the manly smell of him, intoxicating. plus he’s sweating so much now the water on his shoulders looks like it’s glowing under the bathroom light, fucking droplets sliding down his body before disappearing into the tub.

even though nothing about this is sexual to him right now (he’s not thinking about fucking, he’s thinking about how you feel, how much he loves you, how lucky he is), his cock is hard between you anyway. pressed up against your mound under the water, twitching everytime you shift or your nails drag up his face, or down to his side again. so sweet, the little guy reacting too.

he doesn’t even acknowledge it, though. just keeps kissing you, the hard on is nothing, something his body does because it’s stupid and in love.

every pass of your nails on his body earns you a tiny sound from him, little moans. so cute.

he kisses you harder for a second, tongue moving around yours, then pulls back to breathe. he needs it.

you drag your nails up his ribs again, slow, smiling at him, and he shudders, hard, mouth going back to yours immediately. he smiles into the kiss, the cutie(only feels excitement when snuffing out a human life) can’t help it, and tries to pulls you closer by the ass, just to feel more of you on him. his sweaty chest slides against your tits, the hand still cupping one of them giving the softest squeeze... was that a giggle he let out against your lips?

this is what you did to him. turned a man who only ever got hard from the smell of blood into someone who gets hard from your smile and your nails and the way you look at him.

he pulls back just a tiny baby bit, side of his nose brushing the side of yours.

“…y/n.”

“mm?”

he swallows, pink face somehow getting even pinker. “it’s… so hot.”

you giggle. he thinks you’re beautiful. “the water, baby? or me?”

“the water.” he mumbles, looking guilty. “i mean you too. but i’m boiling alive. my skin feels like it’s gonna peel off.”

you laugh, tilting your head back. he’d die for you. “and you didn’t say shit?” you lean back in, kiss the tip of his nose, then his flushed cheek. “get the fuck out then. go cool off.”

he moans. maybe at the relief, maybe because he doesn’t want to leave your touch yet.

you pat his chest. “go. i’ll follow in a minute. promise.”

he nods, presses one last slow kiss to your mouth, a little long, but no tongue this time, then carefully lifts you off his lap and sets you back down in the water. the jets keep working on your prettt back as he stands up.

fuck, the view.

water runs off his body, in sheets, on his muscles, his shape, his little soft tummy, water dripping from his still hard cock that bobs between his thick thighs. his skin is almost red everywhere the water touched. chest, shoulders, arms, even the tops of his ears. the nail marks you left on his sides stand out. the hickeys you sucked into his neck look almost purple now, they fit him. you almost wrap a hand around his cock, it’s so there, but really don’t want him overheating so you behave. he steps out of the tub carefully, feet leaving wet prints on the rug you love so much and hit felix once with when he was bad, and reaches for the towel hanging on the rack.

you watch every second of it. chewing on your nail.

the way his back muscles shift when he grabs the towel, the long red scratches you put there. the way his ass flexes, round, soft. the way his little tummy jiggles just slightly when he turns to face you again, towel in hand, cock still hard, now not visible because the towel in his hand just hangs over it. it hasn’t gotten the memo that nothing dirty is up.

he starts drying off slowly, rubbing the towel over his chest, down his stomach, on the scratches, then lower, patting his thighs dry while water keeps dripping from his hair onto his shoulders. fuck.

the way you’re biting your lips, he’s resisting the urge to dive back into the water to you.

towel now wrapped around his hips so it barely covers the bulge, he leans down, presses a quick kiss to the top of your head. “i’ll be in the bedroom. take your time.”

you watch him walk out, towel moving on his cute little ass.

the door clicks shut behind him, leaving you alone in the hot water with a stupid smile on your face.

weird.

duality of man. killer but also oh i won’t say anything about my organs getting boiled because y/n is comfy.

y/n is comfy.

you sink a little deeper into the water, grinning, letting the heat soak into you while you picture his cute ass in the bedroom, probably lying on the bed in just the towel, fanning himself, waiting patiently for you. the best boy.

yeah long story short after you got out of that boiling tub you rode him to almost death.

he was waiting on the bed in just a towel like you imagined he would, still pink and sweaty, looking at you with those big shining eyes. (those only go for his lady, no victim or hyunjin puking at home could make him feel what you feel) you climbed on top of him, pushed him flat, and took what you wanted. rode him until he was shaking, until his eyes rolled back, until he came so hard he went cross eyed and almost passed out. then you kept going until you got yours too, grinding down on him while he whimpered and begged and told you he loved you.

afterward he just laid there like a dead man, chest heaving, covered in fresh scratches and hickeys, towel long gone, cock soft and messy against his thigh. you curled up on his little tummy like it was a pillow and passed out with his arm around you.

next morning.

but today’s mission is simpler.

take felix to his doctor’s check up.

dumb fuck knows the way to your place at least(one of the things he doesn’t forget)

when he arrives he’s wearing one of your stolen hoodies, baby give it back, (oh he’ll get the bathroom mat again for that), and a pair of sweatpants that are backwards. his hair is not messy, surprisingly.

“y/n, we’re going to the doctor together, a date!”

you sigh and walk over to fix his pants(expensive pants, wtf) the right way around. he giggles the whole time, blushing when you pull his pants down and also blushing when you pull them up. “felix, baby, pants go front first. we talked about this.”

“oh. right.“ then he leans in and nuzzles your neck, breathing you in. “you smell like binnie. that’s nice.”

you pat his head, fingers sliding through his soft hair. he’s so stupidly beautiful. why does he have to eat magazines and people?

“come on, dummy. shoes on. let’s not be late.”

you finally get him out the door. he holds your hand the entire walk to the car, swinging your arm, and every few steps he stops to point at random shit.

“look, a bird. do you think it has feelings? i have feelings now. mostly about meat and you.” “that cloud looks like a kidney. i’m hungry now.”

he’s not fucking brain dead, no matter how much we refer to him to as one, so you don’t even have to tell him to buckle himself in. literally the dumbest thing anyone can do is not buckle themselves in. please i’m begging you to and stay safe.

“you’re so pretty. and smart. and you let me sleep in your bed sometimes.” he tells you while you drive.

“thank you, lix.”

crazy. a pretty face that makes people do double takes right before he rips their throat out with his teeth. and last week he bought you a diamond necklace. the range these boys move on is unbelievable. and sweet, considering that you’re their first… first of most things. there’s only one of you in their lives, like a “once-in-a-lifetime connection, essentially love at first sight” says google about a zing from hotel transylvania. “where monsters immediately identify their soulmate.” our only off here is that it wasn’t an immediate realization, anyways “it represents an undeniable, electric attraction, bla bla bla(i’m skipping sentences here, not quoting dracula) that often leads to a lifelong bond.” there we go. you’re their almost zing.

the waiting room is quiet. normal people. magazines (the ones he hasn’t eaten at home). his pretty ass sits next to you, looking around.

“remember what i told you in the car?”

he nods. “mhm. no talking about eating people. no talking about the mailman. no talking about killing. or the boys.”

“good boy.”

the nurse calls you both and she’s immediately smitten with you. her eyes light up when she sees how gently you’re guiding felix by the hand. she chats with you the whole time you’re in the exam room while felix sits on the paper covered table swinging his legs.

“he’s so lucky to have you.” she says warmly while taking his vitals. “most patients his age come in alone and act like it’s the end of the world. you two are adorable.”

felix smiles at her, then at you, then leans over and tries to rest his head on your chest right there in front of her. “she’s the best. i love her so much i’d die for her. or kill for her. or—”

“lix.” you cut in sweetly.

“—or just be really good and not say anything weird.” he finishes, giggling.

he’s so underweight the scale actually beeps in concern when they weigh him.

the nurse frowns at the number. “he’s lost three more pounds since last visit. are you sure he’s eating enough?”

you sigh and launch into the usual cover story while felix distracts himself by counting the dots on the ceiling tiles out loud. “he’s just got a crazy fast metabolism. burns everything off. we try to keep him on high calorie stuff but he’s picky. likes… meat. a lot of meat.”

felix perks up. “yeah, big chunks of meat. sometimes raw if i’m in a hurry—”

“cooked.” you interrupt smoothly, shooting him a look. “always cooked. he’s just dramatic about textures.”

the nurse nods sympathetically, clearly buying it because you’re so calm and put together and she already likes you.

she starts checking his arms and freezes when she sees the mess. bite marks. deep ones. some fresh, some old and scarred over. bruises in the shape of fingers, knuckles, teeth. scars. one perfect crescent bite right above his elbow that definitely came from changbin during one of their play fights.

“oh my… what happened here?” she asks, concerned.

felix giggles again, swinging his legs harder. “oh those? that’s from—”

you clamp a hand over his fuckass mouth and lean in to whisper to the nurse. “he’s… a little mentally disabled, you know? just a touch. gets confused sometimes. wanders off, bumps into things, doesn’t always understand personal space.” fucking lie. there is nothing wrong with felix that can be diagnosed. well, except him being a total psycho, but that has nothing to do with him being dumb. he really is just this empty. but that’s not a disability. “he doesn’t know he’s different. we try not to make him feel bad about it. the bruises are from him playing too rough with the other boys at home. and the bite marks, well, he gets excited and nibbles when he’s happy. like a puppy.”

the nurse’s eyes go big immediately. she nods. “oh, bless his heart. that makes so much sense. you’re such a good girlfriend.”

felix is sitting on the table swinging his legs, humming a little song under your hand while he stares at the poster of the human digestive system. every few seconds he reaches out to touch your arm or your hair, smiling when you let him.

you take the hand away, keep chatting with the nurse while she checks more of him. she asks about his diet again and you spin the same story “he only likes certain textures, lots of protein, we’re trying to get him to eat more veggies but it’s a process.” you don’t mention that his version of protein usually comes from humans and the changes in weight is because he can’t always get what he’s craving, throws tantrums and doesn’t eat or eats lots at one sitting or just a little fruit plate you made him. he’s okay, no reason to worry about his weight, it always changes and he’s doing fine. human is just… not what usually humans eat.

the nurse looks horrified but also impressed by how casually you handle it. “that sounds exhausting for you. you’re such a good partner taking him to all these appointments.”

felix leans over and plants a loud, wet kiss on your cheek, leaving a little spit trail. “she’s the best partner. i’d eat the world for her. wait no, i’d buy her the world.“

you pat his head, smiling at the nurse.

she laughs softly, clearly charmed by the whole thing. “you two are honestly the cutest couple i’ve seen in months. most guys his age are rude. he’s an angel.”

felix smiles. “thank you.”

the nurse melts. “oh my gosh, he’s adorable. so innocent.”

you manage to keep a straight face. innocent. sure. the same guy who rips people apart with his bare hands and teeth.

okay. doctor. another woman. when the doctor tries to check his blood pressure and he starts giggling uncontrollably because “the squeeze feels funny!! like when seungmin chokes me but nicer!!”

when she asks him to open his mouth for the tongue depressor he sticks his tongue out as far as it goes and tries to lick the stick.

you have to physically hold his hand down when she goes for the reflex hammer because he keeps trying to snatch it.

the doctor ends up looking at you. “does he… always do this?”

“yes.” you say flatly. “every single day.”

doctor looks at the nurse. nurse nods in confirmation. great.

“any recent injuries?”

“uhhh i cut my finger last week but then i ate the scab so it’s fine now!!”

“any dietary concerns?”

“i only eat… beef.“ that was a taught answer.

“any sexual activity?”

“y/n and me haven’t had sex yet but i really really want to. she lets me cuddle though and that’s almost as good. sometimes i hump her leg when she’s sleeping but i think that’s normal right?”

you smack his arm. “felix.”

“sorry!!” he giggles, not sorry at all.

the doctor just sighs and moves on.

blood draw, felix sits there swinging his legs, holding your hand, and when the needle goes in he doesn’t even react??? fucking crazy, what he is.

on the way out he gets a lollipop. he unwraps it, sucks on it happily, leaning against you in the parking lot, so pretty it hurts.

“that was fun.” he mumbles around the lollipop. “can we come back next week? i wanna see if they have bigger lollipops. i want you to take me the next time too.”

you sigh, pull him down by the collar of your hoodie to kiss his forehead. he calms down immediately, eyes closing, making a dumb happy noise in his throat.

so. getting back to your place, finally, holding felix’s hand while the other unlocks your door.

han is on your couch, legs kicked up on the coffee table, looking too hot and manly like that for the fact that he’s watching a cartoon about talking animals solving mysteries. a really colorful cartoon. next to him, also watching the dumb cartoon, is hyunjin. grown ass, pretty as sin hyunjin, one elbow on the armrest, temple resting on two fingers, eyebrow pushed up so high it’s basically in his hairline. his face screams i am getting closer to the void and also why the fuck is this rabbit wearing pants. think of the steve harrington picture in tiktok comment sections.

it’s fucking hilarious.

you pat felix’s back. “go play with them, baby.”

“okay!” he skips over (actual skips) and drops himself right between han and hyunjin.

now it’s han on the right, giggling and pointing at the screen, felix in the middle swinging his legs and making little “hehehe” sounds, and hyunjin on the left still doing the exact same temple finger pose, eyebrow frozen in existential crisis.

you shake your head and head toward the kitchen.

changbin is standing by the counter in nothing but sweatpants(that he left at your place for occasions exactly like these, just a reminder, you two fucked last night) the second he sees you his whole face does that adorable thing, big dumb smile breaking out, shoulders dropping, his posture getting better. there are faint nail marks visible across his sides, one dark hickey peeking above the waistband.

he meets you halfway, arms already open.

you cup his face and kiss him soft and sweet. he melts into it immediately, like melts, big hands settling gently on your waist, humming happily into your mouth.

“missed you.” he mumbles when he pulls away. “how was the doctor?”

“fine. he didn’t slip. you guys described it as worse.”

“because with us, it is.”

over at the kitchen counter seungmin and jeongin are sitting on the stools, seungmin is shoveling cereal into his mouth, while jeongin gestures with his spoon. they both waved when you came in.

“—so then i told the guy if he screamed again i’d shove the pliers up his urethra instead of his nose.” seungmin says around a mouthful of cereal.

jeongin nods. “solid. i prefer the slow eyeball route. makes them really panic, y’know?”

“yeah but eyeballs pop too fast. nose takes longer.”

you sigh and reach over to grab jeongin’s empty bowl. seungmin still has half a bowl left so you leave his alone. you rinse jeongin’s out quick, put it into the dishwasher, then, a loud crash comes from the bathroom. something heavy hitting tile, followed by a grunt and the sound of something hitting the wall.

you stop.

from the couch han yells without looking away from the cartoon “minho and chan are in there settling something!!”

hyunjin is still not breaking eye contact with the talking rabbit. “they’ve been at it for twenty minutes. something about whose turn it was to hide the last body.”

whatever. they’ll sort it out.

seungmin finally glances at you, spoon halfway to his mouth. “you good?”

“yeah. it’s fine.”

jeongin looks up at you. sweet boy. (if we made a chart of who’s the worst from the boys he’d be in the top three) “want me to go break it up?”

“no. let them fight. they’ll tire themselves out.”

another crash, this one sounds like the toilet paper holder getting ripped clean off the wall and then immediately used as a weapon. there’s a wet smack, then a low grunt from chan that turns into a growl. something heavy drags across the floor. then a loud metallic clang that can only be the shower curtain rod being bent into a new shape.

you sigh. “whatever.“

comes the sound of a head being bounced off the sink. then the unmistakable noise of the medicine cabinet exploding open, bottles and tubes falling, then plastic crack against bone.

wetness that sounds suspiciously like someone’s face getting pressed into the toilet bowl, followed by gurgling and chan laughing. then a high pitched metallic screech as the towel rack gets torn off the wall.

glass shatters, probably the mirror, and there’s another crash. then a wet slap like someone just got bitch slapped onto the wet tile, followed by both of them breathing hard and… is that minho laughing?

you keep loading the dishwasher, rinsing a spoon, plates.

more thuds, the crack of knuckles against jaw, mean groaning, the shower turning on by accident and spraying water everywhere, someone slipping and eating shit with a loud “fuck—” then both of them cursing at the same time.

men.

silence.

the bathroom door finally opens. out stumble minho and chan looking… fucking horrible, jesus.

both shirtless, obviously. clothes got shredded somewhere between the sink and the shower curtain. chan’s got his left eye shut, swelling, a perfect imprint of your toilet brush handle branded across his cheek, and three long gashes across his chest that look suspiciously like they came from minho’s nails trying to claw his heart out for sport. there’s a fork, a FUCKING DINNER FORK sticking straight out of his left shoulder, blood trickling down his abs. more bruises on his ribs already. what happened to his nipple?

minho’s not doing any better. he’s limping hard on his right leg because there’s a broken piece of the shower curtain rod jammed into his thigh. what the fuck. blood’s soaking his pants. his whole torso is filled with bite marks, type shit anger makes men do, and his neck has a perfect circle of teeth where chan tried to rip his throat out. one of his ears is red and bloody, and there’s soap still bubbling in a nasty open cut across his forehead. he’s leaning sideways, same as chan.

you whine. “boys!”

they both freeze. chan tries to play it chill, blood dripping off his chin, but even he looks sheepish. minho just stares at you with those dead creepy eyes, blood trickling down his temple.

you point at the kitchen stools. “sit! fuck’s sake.”

they drag their feet over and drop onto the stools with grunts of pain. chan winces when the fork in his shoulder shifts. minho’s whole being makes a wet squelch.

the other three in the kitchen watch the whole thing, eyebrows raised. not at the injuries, just trying to guess it you’re gonna freak out internally or you’ll break a wooden spoon on their heads.

you grab the giant fucking first aid kit from under the sink (the one that’s basically a hospital in a box at this point, you need it with them) and stand between chan’s spread knees. first the fork. you grip the handle gentle, thumb stroking his collarbone to distract him.

“deep breath.”

you yank. chan hisses through his teeth. blood wells up and you immediately press a thick pad of gauze to the hole, holding it firm while you murmur “good boy, that’s it, almost done.”

you tape it down tight, then move to the toilet brush imprint on his cheek. you dab it with antiseptic, lots of it, blowing cool air on the sting. he could snap a neck one handed. “this one’s gonna bruise pretty. makes you look tough though. my tough man.” he leans into your touch, looking up at you. such a pathetic little sweetpea. (worst man to exist)

next the chest gashes. you clean each one with a warm cloth, wiping away blood, then smear antibiotic over the red lines. the other four watch your ass while you do it. some of jeongin’s drool end up on the countertop.

you save the (looks like bitten) nipple for last. it’s swollen and angry and… seeping a little. you clean it extra gentle, tongue clicking softly. “minho really went for blood huh?”

by the time you’re done with him he has gauze everywhere, tape crisscrossing his chest, but at least he’s not leaking on your floor anymore. looks good though. new thing to try in the bedroom.

now minho.

you look at the curtain rod in his thigh. “boys?”

jeongin immediately stands up. “of course.”

changbin holds minho’s shoulders. “i’m here.”

seungmin is lazy to help. just sits there with his now finished bowl, also lazy to put that into the dishwasher, watching the two other boys fight the rod out of minho’s leg.

they succeed. the rod comes out with a wet schlick and a fresh gush of blood.

you shove gauze into the injury immediately, your other arm curling around his pretty head to rock him a little. “there you go, deep breaths, i got you.” he gets a head kiss too. “innie, can you get his pants?”

“yeah.”

minho holds into you. arms around you. he’s adorable.

when he gets minho’s pants off for you, you wrap the whole thing, around and around his thick leg(hot) until it looks like he’s wearing a cast.

you move up to the ear next. it looks horrible. you clean the torn, TORN parts, murmuring “pretty boy” he holds onto your hip, eyes squeezed, breathing hard.

but survives. gets a temple kiss and a “good as new.” from you when he’s done.

the bite marks across his torso take forever. there’s like twenty of them, some overlapping though. you clean every single one, slow and loving, so loving, wiping away dried blood and fresh fluids, then smoothing ointment over each perfect imprint of chan’s teeth.

minho feels crazy. crazy in love. and crazy violent from it. he feels like he’s going to blow up.

you finish with the cut on his forehead. you wipe it clean, dab some cream on it, then press a butterfly bandage over it while blowing gently on the sting. “all done, creepy.”

meanwhile, oh your fucking god, the shit jeongin and seungmin talk about. just running their mouths.

jeongin: “look at her go. nurse y/n in the house. bet she’s got better bedside manner than the one who stitched my dick back together last month.”

seungmin, when he had a mouth full of cereal: “minho’s thigh looks like a glory hole.”

“a hole is a hole, bro.”

changbin gives your back a supportive caress from time to time. at least he’s helpful.

in the living room, han keeps tugging on hyunjin’s sleeve, watching the dog fly on some cheese rocket now. what the fuck are they watching seriously. “hyune, look!! the dog’s flying, that’s so cool! do you think i could fly if i ate enough cheese too??”

felix tugs the other sleeve. “hyunjin hyunjin hyunjin!! what if the cheese was made of people?? would it fly faster??”

hyunjin sighs through his nose. “yes, han. flying cheese is a legitimate theoretical concept in cartoon physics. and no, lix, human cheese would probably just smell bad and attract more cannibals. now watch the rabbit, he’s about to say something stupid.”

back in the kitchen you step back and look at your work. gauze, tape, bandages, kisses on every injury. both of them are still leaning sideways but at least they’re not bleeding on your floor anymore. you did great.

you wipe your hands on a towel and plant a hand on each of their heads, ruffling minho’s hair and smoothing chan’s. “you two are idiots. next time settle it by arm wrestling like normal men.”

chan hums. minho’s pretty ass just stares up at you with those wet eyes. you fixed more than just the holes in his body.

felix tugs hyunjin’s sleeve again. “hyu!! the cheese is winning!!”

hyunjin sighs. “yes. the cheese is indeed victorious. profound metaphor for life.” ???

“yo.” jeongin says, holding his pretty face in his hands. “this is exactly like that time hyunjin and seungmin went for each other’s throats in the woods house. remember? shit was biblical, bro.”

seungmin sighs. “biblical my ass. pretty emo bitch tried to slit my throat with a fucking wine opener.”

changbin bounces a little against the counter. “i was there. thought we were gonna have to bury one of them in the backyard. or both.”

minho looks up at you(he looks like a wet kitten) and then back at the others. “hyunjin ended up with a corkscrew through his left nut.”

chan nods, watching the floor. “yeah. he tried to stab min with the fireplace poker. missed and put it through his own foot instead. then seungmin shoved his head into the deer head mounted on the wall. hyunjin looked horrible. then they started rolling around on the rug. seungmin ended up with a black eye shaped exactly like hyunjin’s ring. hyune had teeth marks on his ass so deep we could read min’s dental records.”

jeongin leans forward. “don’t forget the part where seungmin tried to drown hyunjin in the hot tub. then hyunjin started talking about how min’s mother was a whore while bleeding from the mouth. seungmin threw him through the glass coffee table. hyunjin had glass shards in his back for days.“

“still managed to kick me in the balls so hard i pissed blood for three days.” seungmin mutters.

“but you ripped his pants off with teeth and then tried to shove a whole fucking log up his ass as revenge.“ jeongin says.

“then he smashed my face into an anthill.” god, seungmin being bratty is so hot.

chan shifts, even though it clearly hurts his ribs. “they both ended up tied to the same tree with duct tape because we got tired of the noise.”

“okay but what even is the woods house?” you ask.

changbin is a babe. “it was this rich victim’s vacation cabin. super cool, big stone fireplace, hot tub on the deck overlooking the lake, full kitchen, basement we turned into a playroom for… you know, guests who don’t leave. sorry. innie put the deed in his own name after we cleaned the place out, so now it’s technically ours. we go there sometimes.”

jeongin wiggles his eyebrows at you. “and it’s been way too long since we went. the hot tub’s probably lonely. the basement’s collecting dust. we should all go. take you with us this time, y/n.“

seungmin leans down to slap the side of your thigh. “yeah. i could chase you through the trees a little. hm?”

“ew ew ew.” jeongin puts his hands up. “not in front of me, bro.”

“pussy.”

minho’s creepy eyes actually sparkle for once. “i could show you the basement. lots of hooks. soundproof.” ???

chan grunts in agreement, looking half asleep on his stool. “you’d like it.”

“hyunjin!! hyunjin!!”

“dude look!! they’re getting married!!”

“hush.”

you smile.

chan finally pushes himself up from the stool with a groan, his little fork hole hurting. he gives minho one or those manly pats on the shoulder, good fight, no hard feelings, they’ll do it again next week. then he limps over to you, presses a soft, lingering peck to your lips. “i’m gonna go lie down before i fall over. thanks for patching us up.“

you kiss him back gently, thumb brushing his bruised cheek. “go rest. yell if you need anything.”

chan limps off toward the bedroom, still leaning sideways. he looks horrible and also unbelievably hot. like bandages stay ON.

you lean back against the counter, listening to your leftover boys in the kitchen plan their cute little vacation. like aw. they’re men and they want to be there with their friends and they’ll go. aww.

“hyunjin, the rabbit’s throwing the bouquet, catch it!”

“sure.”

you turn back to minho. he looks horrible. “you gonna be fine, creepy? need anything before i—”

“y/n!!”

“y/n y/n y/n!!”

what NOW. you look over. han and felix are both half standing, leaning over the back of the couch. huge puppy eyes. han’s waving both arms. felix is bouncing on his toes, hoodie sleeves flapping. fucking twink.

“come sit!l

“please please please we saved you the best spot, it’s warm!”

seungmin grunts, spoon scraping the bottom of his bowl. “let her go.“

changbin leans over and kisses the side of your head, sweet as ever. “go on.“

you sigh, give minho’s cute little psycho head a pat, and head for the couch before the begging turns into actually yanking at your clothes.

you sit down between felix and hyunjin. han needs to learn that he doesn’t get to have you every single time just because he’s loud and cute and dumb, even if we’re starting with small steps like this, sitting only a person away.

felix’s arm wraps around yours, fingers lacing with yours so he can hold your hand against his chest. oh he disgustingly in love, nuzzling into your shoulder, humming happily, leg thrown over your thigh.

on your other side hyunjin shifts to drape his arm along the back of the couch behind you.

han whines from the other end. “but i wanted to sit next to her, i saved the spot with my butt warmth.”

felix giggles and nuzzles closer to your arm. “too slow.”

you ignore han completely and turn your head toward hyunjin. “what’s up? you okay?”

“mm.” he says, thumb moving to stroke your neck. he’d like that if you did that to him one day. “how are the wounded soldiers? did you have to perform surgery with a spoon again?”

you hum and lean into his side a little. “the usual. they behaved.”

from your right felix tugs your arm, trying to get your attention. “y/n y/n look, the dog is in court.”

you don’t even glance at him. keep your eyes on hyunjin. “tell me more. how you feeling?”

hyunjin’s eyes actually sparkle a little. you caring about him drives him crazy. makes him forget all the dread that the picture of you kissing his roommate on his bed brings to him.

han leans over felix’s lap. “y/n, the cheese just exploded into glitter, look!”

felix whines and pushes han’s head away gently with his free hand while still clinging to your arm with the other. “stop it, she’s talking to hyunjin… but y/n the glitter cheese is really funny though.”

you reach over with your free hand, pat felix’s head once without breaking eye contact with hyunjin, then pull your hand away. han makes noise and flops backward, arms crossed, pouting.

han will learn eventually. or he won’t.

“you didn’t answer me earlier.” felix says, voice softer. so deep, so cute. “i asked you something.”

you watch hyunjin’s face. “they told me about that house in the woods.”

“yeah?” he says.

you nod. “they said it’s under innie’s name. invited me.”

felix tugs at your arm. “hey.”

han leans over again. “what are you talking about, what house?”

hyunjin exhales quietly through his nose. the fucking dog keeps talking on the tv. “they would. show off a little.”

“been there?”

“few times.”

“they said it’s quiet.”

“it is.”

“and kinda hidden.”

“very.”

his hand slides slightly, fingers on your arm.

“why aren’t you answering?” felix says, insistent. “i’m talking to you.”

han makes another noise, frustrated. “yeah, why aren’t you?”

it’s like they don’t exist. it’s killing them.

hyunjin has to hold back a smirk. like a cocky smirk. this feels good after his little heartbreak. let’s not forget that these boys are pure evil, after all, them being funny and in love with you doesn’t change the way they act with each other. unfair assholes.

“you thinking of coming?” he asks you.

“maybe. they made it sound nice.”

his gaze drops to your mouth. then back up. “it is.”

your shoulder presses a little more into his side. “you’ll come too, right?”

direct.

felix straightens a bit, eyes widening. “hey—what—”

han leans over him again, draping himself across felix now just to get closer to you. “what are you saying?”

hyunjin looks at you more… private. biting his lip. “if you want me there, i’ll be there.”

you smile. his hand moves on your arm.

“okay, no, this is—this is weird.” felix says. “you’re not talking to us.”

han nods. “you’re ignoring us, y/n why are you ignoring us—”

you turn just a bit more toward hyunjin.

his eyes don’t leave yours. “gets real dark out there.”

“you like it?”

“i do.”

“why?”

he tilts his head slightly, considering. “no distractions. just… what’s in front of you.”

your gaze holds his. “and what would that be?”

silence.

“…depends.” he says.

felix makes a frustrated sound, tugging on your arm slightly.

“hey.” han says. “hey, look at me.”

felix whines.

han is trying to catch your eye. “can you—can you look at me for a second—” his posture’s off, his hands keep fidgeting, eyes flicking between your face and hyunjin’s. “did i—did i do something?”

you don’t even glance. hyunjin bites a smile back. he pulls you closer.

han notices that. “okay, no, that’s—hey—that’s not—”

he reaches over felix, trying to touch your arm.

felix holds you closer to him. “no, wait, i’m holding it—”

“move—”

“no—”

they start wrestling over your arm.

you do not acknowledge this. at all. hyunjin watches it happen out of the corner of his eye. takes a slow breath.

“this is so unfair.” felix whispers loudly.

“i know.” han whispers back, equally loud. “she’s not even looking at us.”

“i asked like three times.”

“i asked five.”

“that’s more.”

“i know.”

they both look at you.

you continue ignoring them with impressive consistency.

han makes a small, desperate sound. “i can be quiet, i can—i won’t talk, i’ll just—just—”

felix nods. “yeah, me too. i’ll be quiet.” he lasts exactly two seconds. “…hey.” you don’t react. “…this is really hard.”

“yeah.” han says miserably.

hyunjin runs his hand over your arm. he thinks you’re doing great.

they sit there. quiet. for maybe three whole seconds.

“hey!” both of them at once.

“no.” hyunjin says.

“okay.”

silence again.

“chan.” han blurts out, sudden and loud. “where’s chan?”

“yeah, yeah, get chan, he’ll fix it—”

they both look around. for the first time in, what, an hour? two? han’s hands flap uselessly. they both spin around, searching the room for chan.

chan is nowhere in sight.

there’s a pause.

“…wait.” felix says.

han’s pretty head snaps toward him. “where is he?”

felix looks around again. “he was here. he was just here.”

han’s breathing changes to fast. “no, no, no—he was—he—he was here— where did he go—”

you ignoring them. talking to hyunjin. not looking at them. not answering. and now chan(who usually solves things for them) isn’t even here.

nothing is making sense.

han’s face crumples. “what the fuck? what the fuck is happening—”

“i don’t like this.” felix says, grabbing tighter onto your arm, yanking at it. “i don’t like this at all—”

han lets out the most pathetic sob you’ve ever heard and launches himself over felix and into your lap. his arms lock around your neck so tight you almost choke, face burying into your shoulder. “y/nnnnnn.” he wails, voice muffled and wet and adorable. “don’t ignore us please please we’ll be good we’ll eat vegetables and i’ll stop humping the couch when you’re not looking i swear—”

felix throws himself half on your lap too, arms wrapping around your waist, face pressed into your neck. “y/n we love you so much it hurts when you don’t look at us—my please—“ hic “please still love me!”

they’re heartwarming. big ugly sobs, snotty and loud, bodies shaking on you.

han keeps repeating “y/n” whining for his girlfriend while felix just sobs “we’re sorry we’re sorry we’re so sorry” into your collarbone.

you and hyunjin lock eyes over the top of their heads.

hyunjin’s eyebrow is arched so high it’s basically touching the ceiling. he lets out the longest, most exhausted sigh you’ve ever heard from him.

well. that didn’t work.

“alright, alright.” you murmur. your very loving arms come up, one around han’s back, the other sliding around felix’s waist, pulling both of them in tighter. “shhh, babies. i’m right here. i was just talking to hyunjin for a minute.”

all your they need to learn space effort? completely fucking gone. forget about it.

han is shaking, body convulsing. “i thought—” he starts, then stops because he doesn’t even know what he thought. “you weren’t—i didn’t—just don’t do that—”

“y/nnnn—” felix cries. “you weren’t—why weren’t you—”

“don’t, don’t do that.” han mumbles into your neck. “don’t ignore—euh.”

“i’m right here.” you coo.

“okay, okay.” felix sobs.

hyunjin is… weirdly turned on by this.

“don’t do that again.” han mumbles into your neck. “don’t—don’t pretend i’m not there.”

“i wasn’t pretending.” you say, squeezing felix.

“…you were.” felix insists, but he’s just confused.

“i was making a point.”

“…i didn’t get it.”

“…yeah.” hyunjin mutters. “we noticed.”

you shoot him a look. he lifts his hands slightly. what? it’s true.

han pulls back to look at you, eyes big, glassy, beautiful. “what point?”

“that you can’t have my attention every second.” you say.

“…why not?”

genuine confusion.

felix nods. “yeah.”

“because i’m a person.” you say. “not something you pass around or grab whenever you want. you boys always do this, since the very beginning i met you guys. i need some space too. i always tell you. but you’re right for crying, and i’m sorry i made you feel bad, okay? i was kind of mean, sorry.” means a lot that you teach them that apologizing is mature, that it’s fair, that they should, that recognizing your faults is the right thing to do. “just keep my needs in mind the next time.”

they both go quiet. not because they understand, but because… that sounded important.

“…okay.” han says slowly. “but can i still be here?”

“yes.”

he cuddles back to you.

felix relaxes too with a satisfied little exhale. “okay. that’s fine then.”

that’s all it took.

you lean back into hyunjin again. “they’ll get it eventually.”

“no, they won’t. but it’s cute that you think that.”

you keep rubbing their backs, big slow strokes, pressing little kisses wherever you can reach, han’s forehead, felix’s cheek, the top of han’s ear when he tilts his head.

hyunjin wants to pounce on you.

eventually the sobs go off into wet sniffles and hiccups. han’s death grip around your neck loosens. felix stops shaking and starts making those tiny contented hums he does when he’s happy again. their teary little faces slowly turn back toward the tv. they’re adorable. (ruthless serial killers)

the cheese rocket has landed and now the rabbit is talking to some carrot.

they both go quiet after that, just watching the screen in silence. han’s thumb rubs over your collarbone. felix nibs and drools on your shoulder but you don’t mind now.

you glance at hyunjin again.

“lesson learned?” he murmurs.

“slow steps.” you whisper back, still rubbing han’s back and felix’s hip. “they’ll get there. eventually.”

you’re definitely sucking han off later for this pathetic little performance. but for now you just hold them.

crisis over.

lesson… not really learned.

but attempted.

okay not even attempted because han lets out a shaky little breath on your neck, then another, hotter one, and his arms tighten around you again, but now to hold himself up better.

“y/n, i… i need you…” he whimpers into your neck, voice wet and needy.

lesson definitely not learned.

you close your eyes, taking a big breath, then… then… fuck’s sake he’s humping you.

“han. baby. we’re on the couch. there are people around. public living room. not the time.”

he doesn’t hear you. or he hears you and his single brain cell can’t process what you just said. he nuzzles into your neck, lips on your skin, hips grinding, desperate. “i’m so hard it hurts, please, just a little… i’ll be quick i promise i’ll be so quiet.”

“han.” you hiss, trying to push his hips back gently. “not here. the others are right fucking here.”

“but they’re watching cartoons, they won’t mind, i love you so much my balls feel full and sad…”

hyunjin and felix are watching with enormous eyes.

holding their fucking breath. hyunjin’s eyebrow is frozen in pure fascination, lips slightly parted. his whole body has gone still, drinking in every second of han’s pathetic grinding and whimpering. felix’s eyes are even bigger, hungry, mouth hanging open a little as he stares at the way han’s hips move against you.

they watch, breathing a little faster, clearly turned on by the fact that they’re this close to something they’re not allowed to have yet. it’s hot to them, seeing one of the “chosen four” get needy right in front of them, knowing they don’t get to touch you like that. they don’t get to fuck you, don’t get to be inside you, don’t get to be openly needy like this in front of everyone. but now they see it this close up. voyeuristic.

they’re both leaning in unconsciously, eyes glued to you two. like fucking porn.

you try again, one hand pushing gently at han’s slutty little hip. “han. public. people. stop.”

“but it hurts. please just touch it a little, i’ll be so quick, i promise.”

he needs to be put down. euthanized. neutered. something.

it’s even deeper for the other two after those words because han is being so relatable right now. like literally yes y/n it hurts just please touch it a little. that’s all they want too.

you’re about two seconds from dragging him off to the bedroom by his ear to chan when minho slowly limps over.

stops in front of han. says in that flat, creepy monotone: “you want to see my cats?”

han’s head snaps up. his eyes go wide. “all of them?”

minho nods. “yes. they missed you.”

“holy fuck yes!!” he scrambles off your lap, dick still visibly hard in his pants but suddenly irrelevant. he grabs minho’s arm (not careful of the bandages) and starts dragging the limping murderer toward the door. “let’s go let’s go i wanna pet dori he let me hold him last time—”

minho lets himself be pulled, but right before they disappear out the door he glances back at you. his version of i love you is saving you from situations like these. he did this for you.

you mouth a “thank you” and he gives a tiny nod before limping after han.

“bye y/n i love you i’ll be good i promise!”

the living room goes quiet except for the cartoon still playing.

felix, seeing that that situation is over, gently takes your hand. sighs. what does this angel could possibly have to sigh about. he brings two of your fingers to his mouth, innocent for a murderer, and slides them between his soft lips. oh, sweetheart. he starts sucking gently, tongue moving under your fingers.

god, he’s heartwarming(you shout his head off at least twice a week because he got blood inside the apartment again). you pump your fingers once because you know he likes it and he deserves it now, and felix’s eyes roll straight back into his head. actually moans, the sweetie. his whole body shudders.

hyunjin is going to combust just from watching. he’s genuinely starting to think about acting dumb just so that you’d give him this treatment too. like give him your fingers now.

you finally peel your eyes away from felix’s pretty little face(that does things to you, you can’t deny) and glance toward the kitchen.

jeongin has lost his shirt somewhere in the last five minutes??? hello?? his back is breathtaking. broad. literal work of art covered in old scars and fresh little bruises from whatever he got into yesterday. cutie. the muscles shift and flex as he does something in the sink.

you can see the little dimples above his ass. he really is hot. annoyingly hot. unbearably hot. fucking hot. has the kind of back you want to drag your nails down just to watch him arch. fuck.

thinking all this while the official boyfriend(well, one of them) is right next to him btw. shoulder to shoulder, both of them with their backs to the living room but at least seungmin has his shirt on. you’d be lowkey worried they’re plotting something again, but then changbin walks over to your little trio on the couch.

you want to RIP this man apart. bare chest and soft little tummy on display still, like put a baby in me. especially with the way he leans down and pats felix’s head, GENTLY.

felix makes a happy little sound around your fingers but doesn’t stop sucking.

changbin looks at you. “i’m heading home soon. you wanna come with me?” his eyes go to hyunjin. “you coming too?”

hyunjin leans his head back. “yeah. might as well.”

you smile up at changbin. “sure. sounds good. let me wrap things up here.”

felix makes a sad noise when you finally pull your fingers out of his mouth. a thin string of spit connects your fingertips to his bottom lip for a second before it breaks. he whines softly, lips chasing them for a second, disappointed.

“felix. hey.” you say gently, cupping his face with both hands, he doesn’t mind his own spit on him anyway. “i’m going out with binnie and hyune for a while, okay? you did so good at the doctor’s today. i’m really proud of you for not telling the doctors about the mailman or anything weird. you were good.”

he smiles, nuzzling into your palm. “really?”

“really. now go watch the rest of the cartoon. behave while i’m gone.”

he nods. “i’ll be so good. i’ll only eat one crayon if i get sad.”

you kiss his forehead and stand up. hyunjin gives your neck one last slow stroke before he pulls his arm back, rising with you.

you head into the kitchen for a quick glass of water. jeongin and seungmin are still at the sink, talking about something that sounds suspiciously like the best way to dissolve teeth.

“i’m heading out with bin and hyunjin for a bit.” you say, reaching past jeongin for a glass then to fill it.

seungmin nods. “don’t do anything i wouldn’t do.”

“that leaves a lot of options open.”

you step up behind him, lean in, and press a sweet kiss right to the side of his neck. was it on purpose that it was right over that sensitive spot you know drives him crazy? yeah, don’t be silly.

seungmin stiffens. there we go. you love leaving him horny on purpose.

jeongin turns his head just in time to catch the end of it. then he shoves his pretty face into the side of your head, nose burying in your hair, arms trying to snake around you. “my turn, my turn—”

you shove his face away with your palm. “down, boy.” you bend down to put your empty glass in the dishwasher and notice both seungmin’s and jeongin’s cereal bowls are already inside. well, you put jeongin’s there, but not seungmin’s. “look at you two actually putting shit away by yourself. i’m proud of you.”

seungmin turns around, sporting a half hard bulge you left him with. “it was me.” he’s so cute because like you need to know that he did it for you!!

pulled a face off in one move yesterday btw.

you give jeongin’s cheek a quick pat before heading back toward the living room. changbin got a shirt on since that(went into your room for it, the sleeping chan didn’t even wake up). hyunjin’s eyes flick over to the couch where felix is watching his cartoon.

“ready?” changbin asks, reaching for your hand.

you take it, lacing your fingers with his. “yeah. let’s go.”

changbin presses a soft kiss to your temple(my boy changbin getting feelings even though he’s a brutal psycho!! fuck it up changbin!! be a good boyfriend changbin!!) then the three of you leave.

god, you love how fancy their apartment is.

you love eating breakfast here. sitting at the island in one of changbin’s or hyunjin’s big shirts while one of them makes food, usually changbin, and those times hyunjin usually reads the news on his fucking ipad(this man and his fucking apple ecosystem), occasionally glancing over at you.

you love watching the city out those big windows, especially at night. you love the soft lighting in the living room that makes everyone look so hot. like why don’t they throw orgies in here? (you don’t know this but hyunjin once did, next day he cleaned up so good that changbin never found out)

now that we’re at this topic, you also really love fucking like animals with changbin when hyunjin’s not home. like, really, loud, sweaty, no restrictions, no rules or limitations sex on every surface. you love curling up by the windows with a mug, watching the city lights while his tongue is between your legs or while you’re just… sitting. could be either.

he gets loud when he cums. manly shouts that bounce off the pretty ceilings(yours has pesto stains on them from one of minho’s and seungmin’s fights). you love that he gives noises. you’ve broken two chairs and one coffee table because he gets too enthusiastic and forgets what his thick thighs can do.

but right now? right now you mostly love how fucking all about you they both are.

changbin unlocks the front door with one hand, keys jingling, then steps aside and gestures for you to go first. hyunjin does the same on the other side, holding the door open.

partly because they’re gentlemen.

partly because they’re in love with you.

and partly because you have a great ass and they both want to watch it as you walk in.

“go on.” changbin says, nodding inside.

“yeah.” hyunjin says. “after you.”

you can feel their eyes on it the whole three steps it takes to walk inside.

hyunjin is fucking mad tho. mad over the fact that changbin gets to tap that. changbin gets to fuck that perfect ass whenever he wants. changbin gets to bury his face between those ass cheeks and thighs and make you scream while hyunjin is stuck in the next room.

it burns. he wants it so bad it makes his stomach twist, makes him have to throw up.

he was there before changbin even considered looking at you like that.

and if he’d just… if he’d just said something earlier… if he’d just… but he didn’t.

and now look where that got him. fucking idiot.

changbin shuts the door behind you, kicking off his shoes. “client today was a fucking nightmare.” he says, running a hand through his hair. “he was calling me the whole time you were away with felix. some rich asshole who wants to ‘get shredded for his mistress.’”

hyunjin heads straight for the kitchen, already reaching for a glass.

“yeah?” you ask, cutely getting your shoes off.

“yeah. i’m thinking okay, cool, leg day, cardio, whatever. then he starts asking if i can meet now. i already have told him no a hundred times at least. fucker. then told me he’ll do it himself then and i tell him what to do. no.”

hyunjin snorts from the kitchen. “hate those.”

“he’s going to hurt himself.” changbin continues. “and then he’ll come back acting like it’s my fault.”

“it will be your fault.” hyunjin calls out, already pouring himself a drink. “you didn’t stop him.”

“i did.”

“clearly not enough.”

changbin shoots him a look.

hyunjin just raises his glass slightly in response, completely unbothered.

“what’d you do?” you ask.

“told him we’ll redo everything.” he says. “properly. slower. he hated it.”

“good.”

“yeah.”

there’s a pause.

“had to deal with a buyer after that.”

ah. there it is. changbin’s little side job of selling organs.

hyunjin lets out a low whistle, taking a sip. “bad one?”

“annoying.” changbin says. “kept asking questions.”

“that’s never a good sign.”

“no.”

hyunjin sets the glass down, then reaches for a cigarette, tucking it between his lips. he flicks his lighter. click, flame, inhale.

there it is. drink in one hand. cigarette in the other. leaning back against the counter.

like, how?

how the fuck is he this beautiful while living like this?

you stare for too long. he notices. his gaze flicks to you, then away again. inhales. exhales.

“price wasn’t even the issue.” changbin says. “he just wouldn’t shut up.”

“should’ve shut him up.” hyunjin mutters.

“considered it.”

“and?”

“wasn’t worth it.”

hyunjin taps ash into a tray, looking at you looking at changbin, paying attention to changbin, not him. but at least you’re here.

he’ll take it.

even if it’s not everything he wants. he’ll take it.

meanwhile all that’s in your mind is how comfy the couch looks. insert that picture where squidward looks like death and next to him spongebob is throwing his hands up smiling ear to ear. you and hyunjin fr. anyways, you do go and make yourself comfy on the couch, then pat it on either side of you. “come here, both of you. tell me more.”

changbin drops down on your left, big arm around your shoulders. hyunjin sits on your right, long legs laid out, cigarette letting that pretty smoke come. changbin tried to get him to stop smoking at least in the apartment but i think we see it didn’t do much.

changbin is still irritated but relaxed now that he’s home, that he’s with you. “guy kept calling his biceps the guns. i wanted to tell him the only gun was the one i had in my back pocket.” now that he said that, he begins to wonder where did it go. it sure got out his pocket at your place, must be there somewhere if nobody took it.

hyunjin hums. flicks ash into a fancy crystal tray. tf. “clients get stupider every week. last week some guy asked me if i could ‘source’ a liver that still had the gallbladder attached because ‘it adds flavor.’” he takes another drag, exhales “i charged him extra.”

changbin groans and squeezes your shoulder. “at least your idiots pay in cash sometimes. mine keep trying to pay in bitcoin. like fuck your mom.”

you don’t know if you should be turned on or deeply concerned and upset about what you’re hearing. both work.

changbin’s phone starts buzzing in his pocket.

he gets it out. looks at the screen and sighs. “it’s minho.” he picks up. “yeah? what’s up?”

you and hyunjin go quiet, watching bin’s face. it stays neutral for the first ten seconds. then his pretty jaw moves. then the vein on his forehead starts popping. another vein bulges in his huge left bicep. the big arm around your shoulders slowly turns hard. just again, turned on or, well, terrified is the other option in this scenario, you don’t know what you should be.

he listens for another thirty seconds, says “mm” twice, then hangs up. without saying goodbye, by the way. the phone gets placed down with way too much care. looks like if he slams it he’ll break the entire table.

he stares straight ahead at the window for a long time.

“han and jeongin fucked up. bad.”

you and hyunjin look at each other. you both can tell the two aren’t in danger or with police, changbin would be out the door already if that was the case, so you’re not worried.

changbin, though.

“they picked up some guy from the bar. everything was going fine until they cut off the guy’s fingers, all ten of them, and told him if he could juggle them for thirty seconds without dropping any, they’d let him go. minho said the guy was screaming, blood everywhere, fingers all around the place.” his hands flex on his (thick)thighs. the veins in his forearms are now basically fucking his skin. “they found it funny. apparently, they were laughing so hard they didn’t notice the guy’s girlfriend had followed him from the bar and tried to record. they almost got caught on camera. minho had to go clean it up, drag the girlfriend inside, and deal with the mess.”

so that’s what the case is. an almost caught. he gets angry at those.

the psycho part of changbin doesn’t come out in the way he acts, like minho having defects with communication, for an example. seungmin also has a hard time communicating sometimes but he’s significantly better. anyways, changbin’s defect doesn’t work socially.

what his main problem is, is dealing with anger.

this is why he killed for the first time, we already know that. it was pure, blinding anger. he can’t process it. never could. it doesn’t leak out in mean little comments or creepy staring like the rest of the boys. changbin explodes.

therapy? useless. talking? makes it worse. even fucking it out doesn’t work, so you don’t even come in handy now. plus getting his dick hard is difficult when he’s having one of these anger meltdowns. nothing helps. he just has to deal with it until it’s gone.

he stands up slowly. “i can’t deal with this shit.”

you’re mortified by what you just heard about what the two boys did but you’re also lowkey excited to see what he’ll do now. like that’s your boyfriend, go boyfriend, crash out!!

“those fucking idiots.” he says, voice shaking. “i told them. i fucking told them to keep it clean. but nooo, han has to turn every kill into a fucking children’s birthday party and jeongin just has to let him do it.”

“hyunjin. we are SO fucked.” you whisper.

something flies past your heads.

(not aimed at you, never at you, changbin would rather saw his own arms off)

hyunjin takes a slow drag from his cigarette. “myeah.”

you both get behind the couch. it looks stupidly cute from the outside, you two not visible but his smoke coming out anyway.

changbin flips the coffee table with one hand. it crashes into the wall. “i do everything right! i train those stupid clients, i move the organs, i keep the bodies from piling up in the fucking hallway, and these two dipshits treat it like a fucking joke!”

a lamp flies past. then the remote. then one of hyunjin’s fancy poetry books (hyunjin winces).

you peek out to take a look at your boyfriend now throw a little vase hyunjin purely keeps on the (now flipped over)coffee table for decoration. you turn back quickly and look at hyunjin with big eyes.

and he exhales a smoke ring???

“are they fucking five!? i told them, i fucking told them, keep it simple! strangle and dump! but nooo, they gotta make it into amateur porn! ‘funny’ my ass! i’m gonna shove my foot so far up han’s dumb fucking colon he’ll taste my toes for a week!”

another object flies, this time it’s the heavy crystal ashtray hyunjin was just using.

“i’m gonna skin jeongin alive and turn his little face into a fucking puppet. i’m gonna make han eat every single finger he juggled. raw.”

he grabs the expensive leather ottoman and throws it into the kitchen. wow.

hyunjin calmly takes another drag of his cigarette.

“binnie, baby—” you start.

“and the woooooorst part?! they’ve did this hundreds of times already! and they never.” he claps his hands. “fucking.” clap. “learn!” clap clap clap clap. “i’m gonna shove both their heads up each other’s asses and—”

another object flies. it bounces off the wall and lands in the potted plant hyunjin mothers so hard. he actually puts his hand out towards it but pulls it back into his lap almost immediately.

he sheds a tear for his beloved plant then moves on. “this is your boyfriend.” he whispers, tapping ash into an empty glass he grabbed on the way down. “romantic.”

“shut up. you’re hard, aren’t you?”

“painfully.”

crash.

silence.

changbin finally stops, chest heaving, standing in the middle of everything. he looks around at the mess, then at the couch you’re both hiding behind.

“…sorry.” he mutters. “didn’t mean to scare you.”

you peek over the couch, smiling. “you didn’t scare me.”

hyunjin takes one last drag, flicks the cigarette butt into the glass, and stands up. “i’ll order new furniture. again.”

he was two seconds away from leaning in and stealing a first kiss while changbin was distracted. his lips were already tingling with the possibility. but changbin came down from the rage too fast. damn it.

changbin rubs the back of his neck. “i’ll pay for it.”

you crawl out from behind the couch, smiling ear to ear and stepping over the shit he destroyed, and wrap your arms around his waist from behind. “you’re okay.”

he leans back into you. in the smallest, saddest voice you’ve ever heard from him “they juggled fingers, baby.” like aw okay binnie :(

hyunjin watches the two of you. jealous. fuck. he needs another drink. what happened to his earlier one anyway? oh, it’s pouring down the wall right there. okay.

yeah, shit like this happens all the time.

like seungmin’s mean little bitchass gets set off and suddenly it’s world war iii. (yeah he’s the worst, just blows up over anything small) last month jeongin ate a little yoghurt (the one seungmin had been thinking about all day) and seungmin tied him to a dining chair with duct tape and zip ties, then spent forty five minutes beating the absolute shit out of him with a bag of frozen chicken breasts.

chicken breasts everywhere. raw meat juice all over the floor. when seungmin finally calmed down he just cut jeongin loose, patted his bloody cheek, then crawled into your bed at 3am and cuddled up to you.

han once got mad at felix for eating the last of his crayons (the blue ones taste best, apparently, han just uses them to draw). han started screaming at the top of his lungs, stomped into the kitchen, grabbed a plate, and smashed it directly onto his own forehead. the plate shattered. his eyes rolled back and he dropped, out cold for six minutes. you had to ice his forehead.

once minho wordlessly took one of chan’s knives and left it covered in some random guy’s spinal fluid. chan found it, then destroyed every single plate in minho’s kitchen by throwing them one by one into the bathtub. when he was done he sat on the edge of the tub, covered in shards, and whispered “i need a minute.” he let you patch up his cut hands.

chan is fucking HILARIOUS in general. like another one was when he smashed a blender in one hand because jeongin pissed him off.

now that we’re at jeongin, oh he’s the hot babe ever(deserves death), you left him on seen once and he spent three hours shouting at hyunjin at the top of his lungs while carving lines into his own thigh with a razor. then crawled to your door at 2am covered in blood, begging you to kiss it better.

yeah he’s really… unstable.

not as unstable as hyunjin tho. last time he got jealous of changbin he disappeared for six hours and came back with someone else’s tongue in a jar as a gift. you made him throw it away but let him cuddle you while he read you something. he wants so badly to be allowed.

minho is… fucking terrifying. once chan accidentally sat in minho’s favorite staring at y/n spot. minho killed ten people that day.

felix doesn’t get mad lots. or angry. or any of those. he once got mad because you called han baby and not him. he disappeared for three hours and came back dragging a whole ass traffic cone he stole. he tried to eat it.

and we already saw today what happens to changbin. like he does this. once jeongin made a your mom joke and changbin flipped the entire couch, punched a hole through the wall, then spent twenty minutes doing pushups.

they are genuinely horrible at dealing with feelings. well, who can blame them, this is their first time experiencing them, but still, this canNOT be good for you. your mental health. your pussy, sure, the boyfriends do fuck it out sometimes, but let’s be real, it’s extremely unhealthy that you have to deal with these fuckers all day long.

but you like it. so, it is what it is. you’re fine.

you have fun with them. that fun can mean going out with hyunjin for coffee or yanking felix off the couch by both hands on his hips because he keeps humping it, but you really did grow attached to these boys. who cares that they tried to kill you.

that fun can also mean just hanging out with the boyfriends. little dates. seungmin once dragged you to a hardware store just so he could “look at knives and feel better.” you ended up making out in the aisle between the chainsaws. han likes when you let him eat you out. LET him. he has to beg. chan just wants to lie on your chest and have you play with his curls. changbin just needs to touch you to have fun, that can mean his toe in your ear, even. just please omg he has to touch y/n.

lol. men are so fucking adorable you might actually have to smash a plate on your own head too at this point.

like wdym these eight brutal psychos have little feelings??? wdym they get genuinely upset and their little hormones work and testosterone works and it comes from their balls?? AWWW MEN’S BALLS!!! balls gotta be the cutest fucking thing on earth istg. they’re so vulnerable!! they protect them!! they cup them when they’re scared!! the others kick them during fights and they curl up and it HURTS them!! sensitive little guys just hanging out between their legs, trying their best, getting cold and going up inside then dropping back down!!! hello to you too balls!! but they also make cum and babies and rage and horniness and all the stupid boy things and they’re just. down there. existing. between their stupid little legs. swinging. awww.

what do you meeeeaaaann all eight of your psychos have their own pair!!! men are SO cute.

you had to literally bite your fist the other day when hyunjin was manspreading on the couch and you remembered there’s a whole sensitive little sack there, vulnerable and warm and full of his lowk suicidal sperm. aww.

i’m crine the FUCK is your problem y/n😭😭😭

seungmin has straight up slapped your hand away in public before when you tried to sneak a feel. didn’t even look at you. just smack on your wrist, then kept talking to the cashier like nothing happened while you stood there grinning.

you MIGHT have gotten soft on these psychos.

you’re a freak.

but tbh each of the four you’re actually dating needs exactly you. exactly your sex drive. exactly the way you are.

cute. so fucking cute. men are awesome.

sometimes when chan is just sitting on the couch minding his own business, biiiig thighs spread, you’ll casually reach over and grope him through his pants. you’re brutal. palm covering his soft cock and balls, squeezing around.

he just sits there. letting you play w the jewels. sometimes he’ll keep watching whatever he’s watching, sometimes he’ll look over at you(calm, MANLY) murmur a “having fun, baby?”

you love how he feels. that he has those there. love how he trusts you completely with the most sensitive part of him.

when you get a little too enthusiastic and squeeze too hard he just jerks his hips away once and says “ow”. then you lean in and kiss his cheek as a little apology.

he accepts it. patting your head. he loves it. truly thinks he found a once in a lifetime gem with you.

god you’re so down bad.

you feel lucky too. unbelievably. what do you mean you have these psychos at your feet.

kinda… literally at your feet.

what we mean here, is once han is being annoying again, all around you. he keeps bumping into you, pushing you, giggling around, trying to “help” you reach the top shelf even though he’s only about two inches taller and mostly useless.

“y/n you’re so short it’s cute, wait no, i’m short too, we’re both short, that’s why we fit so good when i’m inside you!!”

you spin around and slap him lightly across the face. not hard. it’s genuinely just playful. doesn’t even hurt.

his eyes cross instantly. his mouth drops open, body jerking. he squeaks a “hnn?”

his knees buckle. he drops to the floor, landing on his ass with a pathetic little whimper. one hand flies between his legs, cupping his dick through his pants as his stomach and crotch and abdomen muscles flex.

his face has pure confusion. bliss. eyebrows furrowed, eyes crossed, mouth open.

he came so hard.

“wha— whaaat?” he whines, voice high. his hips twitch up into his own hand as ropes of cum flood his pants. he has tears pricking his eyes from how hard he came and how sudden and so not ready to. his hand is squeezing his twitching cock. that just came while soft. from a slap.

he’s never looked more pathetic or more adorable in his entire stupid life.

you stare down at him. “han. baby. i barely touched you.”

“i knowwww. i think i need new pants, ma—maybe new baaaaalls. y/n, can you slap me again but harder this time?”

you end up crouched in front of him, cradling his dumb flushed face while he keeps making little hiccupps, still gently palming his spent cock. he leans into your touch, nuzzling. dumbest fuck on earth. you’d keep him in a jar if you could.

now that we’re at a sexual topic, it deserves some recognition that seungmin is… surprisingly pathetic in bed. he talks a big game but the second he’s inside you he gets just… whiny. a lil flower, basically. “fuck— you’re so tight, gonna make me cum too fast again, shit—” he tries to stay confident and a mean cunt but ends up whimpering into your mouth, hips stuttering, begging you not to clench because he’s embarrassingly close. the dream boyfriend.

and about changbin, so we include all the four, he has stamina. like stamina. that man can fuck you for hours. (can, not always will. it’s only realistic that you tap out after about two rounds if not one.) then he’ll kiss every tear off your face and ask if you want another round “just to be sure you’re satisfied, baby :)”. insane. built different. (built himself to be different, he didn’t get those muscles and fat out of nowhere. he worked for this, let’s appreciate that)

anyways,

you watch them play sometimes from the safety of the couch(and by play you mean fists, wrestling, knives, guns), chin in your hands.

morons with weapons.

like minho has jeongin in a headlock on the living room floor. the others are doing their own shit around, they’re fine with anything as long as they can breathe your air in.

you watch them. they be rolling around on the floor trying to choke each other out and the second one of them senses danger near the crotch region their hips do that instinctive little squirm/twist away. protecting the goods. always protecting the goods. hips do that instinctive little tuck. ass clenching, balls drawing up, hiding. it’s so automatic. so fucking adorable.

the attackers are absolutely going for the sack on purpose because they know it would hurt them too.

men are sweet.

“quit guarding your little grapes, you pussy.” minho snarls, trying to knee jeongin in the balls while jeongin twists.

“my grapes are precious, you cum gargling— OW FUCK—”

felix once bit chan’s thigh so close to the balls that chan yelped. like imagine that scary ass psycho yelping. because he doesn’t usually yelp.

han knees seungmin in the nuts while giggling while playing tag. hyunjin will grab a handful of minho’s package mid grapple just to hear that cold motherfucker make a high pitched noise. changbin can always end a fight with shouldering into someone’s crotch.

can’t stress it enough, men are unique and funny and cute.

you were made for men.

not just any men, these men.

and oh, the way they come back to you. each get their little asses beaten by each other or get angry and destroy everything or get confused about their huge feelings for you, but since they know you’re safe, you’re y/n, they immediately come to you.

let’s start with chan’s baby ass(should fucking behead him) he’ll limp to you with fresh bruises, split lip, whatnot, and just collapse onto the bed or couch of yours. he just wants you close.

he lets you baby him then. enjoys it, wants it.

let’s go age order now, mkay? minho shows up covered in blood, silent, and just stares at you with those dead eyes until you open your arms. crawls into them. wraps himself around you in the weirdest positions, face buried somewhere on your body (neck, stomach, between your tits, wherever), and just breathe you in. for hours. that, calms him down.

changbin is the usual when he crashes down from their boy fights. after one of his big meltdowns he gets so guilty it’s painful. you can’t tell him enough times that it’s okay that he acts like this when he’s angry. he’s just a man. anyways, he’ll find you immediately, wrap those huuuuuge arms around you, and hang on you while you do whatever. he needs the reassurance that you still love him.

hyunjin will rest his head on your thigh while you play with his hair. he needs you. needs to find you. he yaps about how the world is empty and meaningless except for you. the FUCK is his problem. he needs your attention more than anything else. first boy or whatever.

han is… fuck, you already know, a dumb little bitch. like he got mad and did something stupid again. he’ll launch himself at you full force, wrapping around you, talking into your chest. same boy that tried to kill you once.

felix… aww. he comes back to you literally whimpering, covered in blood and whatever he was eating, and immediately tries to climb into your lap. baby, no, shower. after that, he’ll nuzzle into you and sometimes ask if you still love him. (he wouldn’t by himself, but he saw it on tiktok. also asks if you’d love him if he was a worm)

seungmin is a tsundere little bitch about it. done with his little blow up? start looking for you. crawling back to you. stomps around(with the exact movement a horse would) while hugging your arm only. grown ass man btw. you have to coax him into letting you clean him up. he’ll grumble the whole time (“i don’t need this shit”) but the second you kiss the bridge of his nose he goes boneless.

jeongin is such a personality. didn’t we already talk about him screaming into his pillow about you? well he acts like that didn’t happen, just finds you after to get relief, kneels on the floor, clings to your lap, sighing loudly, telling you in great detail how everyone is against him and how he suffered. you have to play along and kiss his “wounds” (even the fake ones) while he preens under the attention.

slut.

i mean him, not you.

never you.

that’s because they trust you this much. they’re also so fucking comfortable with you it’s actually insane.

and they expect you to be just as unbothered as they are.

example, you’re in your bathroom, brushing your teeth. the door opens(not a single knock knocked) and minho walks in without a word. steps up to the toilet, unzips, pulls his dick out, starts peeing. he doesn’t even look at you just stares at the wall. shakes off then tucks himself away. washes his hands and leaves. no big deal to him. meanwhile you’re standing there with your toothbrush hanging out of your mouth bc like ???

han will barge into the bathroom while you’re on the toilet just to show you something on his phone. he’ll stand there holding the screen in front of your face.

“han i am peeing give me two seconds”

“why?”

the other rock brained is felix. the empty headed little cannibal has walked in on you showering multiple times. you’ve had to start locking the door(though we already talked about them just fucking picking the lock then), and every single time he stands outside whimpering. (doesn’t remember he can literally pick locks)

you try to change shirts and jeongin walks in mid titty out. “oh don’t mind me, keep going.” you tell him to get out and he looks heartbroken. “but i’ve seen them before. why are we regressing as a society?”

changbin is horrible. fucking hell you think about him and have to hold your head in your hands. he’ll walk in while you’re changing pads and starts running his finger through your hair. “you cramping bad today, baby? want me to rub your tummy?” fucking horrible.

hyunjin sometimes sits on the edge of the bathtub while you’re soaking and read you something he wrote, completely ignoring the fact that you’re literally naked in the water. and if you dare tell him you need five minutes alone he’ll sit outside the door and monologue sadly about “the cruel walls you build between us” until you let him in.

seungmin will stand outside muttering “the fuck is the point of being together if i can’t even watch you wash your ass?” like y/n this is human rights violation. let him IN.

minho just… appears. you’ll be changing and suddenly he’s in the corner staring. no words. you undress to take a shower, turn to the shower, he’s standing inside. at the end of the day you get into bed, pull the covers down and he’s UNDER THEM.

how did he not kill you then if he’s THIS good?

felix, as we know, has zero concept of personal space or gendered boundaries. he’ll try to go into the shower with you “to help wash your back.” he’ll stick his cold hands up your shirt in the middle of the kitchen because “your tummy is warm and mine is cold.” when you tell him no he gets this heartbreakingly confused look. “but you let changbin do it, why not me? i love you too?”

chan is at least dada about it. he’ll come out of the shower with just a towel around his shoulders, everything else hanging out, and start making coffee like that. like okay wet daddy put that weapon away. and he tells you “what’s mine is yours, baby.” okay i take it back.

you whine one day that your boobs hurt, maybe pms, maybe han was too enthusiastic the night before, whatever, and chan reaches over, hooks two fingers in the collar of your shirt, and tugs it down.

just pulls your tits out into the open air.

he stares, few fingers poking at them, then tucks them back in and gives you a little forehead kiss. “they look fine.”

but when felix does the exact same thing two days later, it’s different!!

you’re on the couch complaining that your chest is sore and felix, who is very much not your boyfriend, is like “oh no!! let me see!!” and reaches over to yank your shirt down. full tits out in the living room while jeongin and minho are playing cards on the coffee table. you have to slap his hands away and pull your shirt back up while he looks… so lost. he genuinely doesn’t get why that’s crossing a line. to him, your body is community property because he loves you so much and he shares everything with the other seven boys.

they’ve seen you naked, fucked you (some of them), bled on you, cried on you, so why does the bathroom door need to be closed? why can’t they just walk in while you’re peeing? why can’t felix crawl into bed with you and han?

you close the bathroom door. han: “but why?? you’ve seen me naked before!! i’ve seen you bleed from the pussy!! why can’t i watch you pee???”

minho gave you the saddest stare when you told him you didn’t want company while you were changing a tampon.

and you’ve seen every inch of them (and they’ve seen plenty of you) so why the fuck would they hide anything?

because these boys are so comfortable with you.

take hyunjin, for example. you go over to their place one afternoon because he said he wants to show you this new painting he’s been working on. he leads you into his room, closes the door, and immediately starts stripping. shirt off. pants off. underwear too. your heart stops. his dick swings free for a second, soft, while he casually steps into clean boxers like. you’re not even there. your heart starts beating again.

he pulls his sweatpants up, grabs the painting, and turns around. “so what do you think?”

seungmin will casually scratch his balls while talking to you. full hand down the front of his pants, digging around, rearranging while he tells you about the guy he stabbed earlier.

you make a face.

he raises an eyebrow. “what? they itch.”

even better when he walks into your room completely naked, dick swinging, just out of your shower, and lies face down onto your bed. starfish. he’ll throw a leg over you and go straight to sleep while you’re trying to watch a show. if you complain he just “you’ve had it in your mouth, don’t act shy now.”

jeongin is tiring. you actually have to cry laugh. he’ll come up behind you while you’re cooking, press his morning wood against your ass(you’re fine with him doing this, he wouldn’t do it if it made the love of his life uncomfortable), and talks to you. “so then i was strangling the guy and his head turned purple and— waaaaaait, you’re not wearing panties under this? slut.”

“because i thought i was spending the night with changbin. where is he?!”

sometimes they?? switch?? places?? randomly??? like genuinely hyunjin walks into your bathroom and minho comes out. and hyunjin is nowhere. and there is no possible exit he could have gotten out on. or you send chan to the shop to get you something and felix comes home with it. then you think you’re talking to felix and when you turn around it’s hyunjin answering, two completely different voices mind you. you’re always so confused.

they genuinely don’t get it when you try to enforce boundaries. you’re their safe person. their person. so why would they hide basic bodily functions from you? it doesn’t compute in their boy brains.

underneath all the boundary issues is the fact that they trust you completely. that’s sweet though. they feel safe with you in ways they’ve never felt safe with anyone, only the others, but you’re different. so they offer you every part of themselves, the gross, the vulnerable, the naked, the soft dick, post shower, morning wood, post fight, post rage, post cry parts, without hesitation.

they all know, on some level, that women are more physically fragile. no sexism here, this is biology, though some of them know of it in the sexist way, some the biological. men and women are built different. standard knowledge. they’ve killed enough of both to notice the physical differences. they know your body is softer in places, more sensitive, bleeds differently, gets sore easier, boobs aren’t the same as pecs. they know you can’t just punch you in the arm like they punch each other. but the social boundary thing? the “this is my body and sometimes i want it to be private even from people i love” thing? can’t get it at all.

jeongin, hyunjin, changbin, and chan(chan respects you as his girl) are the ones who at least register the differences. they know boobs aren’t just funny squishy chest lumps like their own. they know periods suck and make you more fragile. they understand that randomly grabbing your ass in public might get them slapped while they can slap each other’s asses during fights and it’s just bro shit. they know girls need a little more… finesse. socially. emotionally. physically.

the others though, their brains simply do not… do not most of the time. they could understand if they tried, really could, but they simply don’t use those brain cells. well, the sunshine twins don’t, and minho and seungmin just don’t want to.

so you scold. they listen. sort of. for about three days. then han is back to trying to hold your tit in the middle of clothes shopping and felix is asking if he can sniff your armpit.

before you, there was nothing. we know that. now it’s just a big wobbly thing inside of them. love? terrifying. jealousy? torture. longing? makes them want to chew their own hands off.

their little hearts are really fragile right now.

and they relieve that by being quite the opposite on the outside. by murdering just as brutal as they used to. (crazy, the fact that they enjoy doing that)

chan has this weird little system that turns the feelings, the itch to kill inward first, then lets it go(aka murdering) when it’s a little more upset at him. bout to blow. he’ll go out, find someone who reminds him of his own insecurity, usually slowly, calmly choke them out while staring into their eyes. almost he’s having a conversation with himself. last time he came back with someone’s tongue in his pocket. forgot to take it out and you did when you were washing those jeans. you cried. he felt horrible.

feeling sad is also a new feeling. it’s heartbreaking. they actually feel bad for normal people because oh they had to live with this through their entire lives? but they mostly feel bad for you, because you also did. and you’re above everyone.

back to chan, he ends up lying down with you usually, needing you to give him any type of physical touch. but when he gets it he’s fine. (if we ignore his feelings fucking messing his system up)

about minho, when the feelings get too messy he goes out and does his cute little horror shit (keeping people alive for days, removing things slowly, enjoying their screams. he once kept a guy alive for twelve hours just so he could ask him philosophical questions about love while cutting out his liver piece by piece. then he came home, crawled into your arms, and stared at you for hours. you don’t even mind anymore. he your lil creep.)

changbin is unstable, just not (usually) in front of you. he caught someone looking at you wrong once and spent the next four hours breaking every single bone in the guy’s body. then came home, clung to you.

hyunjin suffers beautifully. little bitch always does. he’ll write twenty pages of the most heartbreaking shit about unrequited love, then go out and slowly take someone apart. he takes his time. makes it artistic. removes organs one by one while talking about the void you left in his chest(insert that talking to wall gif). babe(fucker) just needs you to let him rest his head on your chest.

han is dumb but evil. they all are, let’s not forget that. his brain can’t handle the new emotions so he always does shit with no clear purpose. last week he got jealous of chan taking you out and went on a rampage. caught some poor jogger, beat him unconscious, then tried to share the body with felix by playing tug with the intestines??? he came back covered in blood, tackled you onto the couch(you threw up). feelings are hard.

felix’s empty little brain wasn’t built for this much emotion. when it hits him he gets confused and restless and jealous(worse now that he knows what that is) and freaks out.

last week he got sad because you patted han’s head and he literally jumped at a random pedestrian in broad daylight, sank his teeth into the guy’s neck, and started eating him alive. blood everywhere. still managed to not get caught. tf. came home with blood in his hair and on his face and immediately pouted and crossed his little legs when you scolded him.

seungmin takes his emotional instability out on whoever’s unlucky enough to cross his path. the other day he was pissed because you smiled at changbin when you should have been making seungmin an omelette!! (still got it tf he pissed off about) he went out and found some random dude, tied him to a chair, and spent two hours explaining in great detail why the guy’s existence offended him while slowly peeling the skin off his arms like orange peels. slow. talking the whole time. “she smiled at him. smiled. you ever smile at someone that pretty? no? then shut the fuck up.” when the guy passed out from pain seungmin just slapped him awake and kept going???

he came home with blood in his hair and crawled straight into your lap. was relieved that you couldn’t see the blood in his dark hair but then you smelled it. he got outside time.

jeongin will have a childish breakdown. usually midkill, his lil(huge) ass sobbing about how you don’t love him enough while carving hearts into some girl’s chest. “do you feel this? this is what my heart feels like!!” he once begged you to tell him he’s pretty. it’s actually heartbreaking how undeveloped he is, we’ll talk about it more later.

they’re all so fragile now.

the new emotions are eating them alive from the inside.

they don’t know how to process love or jealousy or fear of abandonment. they don’t know anything, and especially not how to express it. they’re actually in a terrifying situation. especially for men.

hands constantly shaking. all eight’s.

but no matter how bad it gets, no matter how brutally they take it out on the world, they always come back to you.

always.

tags: @yeonii08 @fics-lovebot @itsraininghyunebuckets @alondra6011 @jaykaavfxcq @11racha @psychobitchsthings @niku0704 @flamegirl @lixwrld @franaby @bee-gremlin @gardeniashellfire @akindaflora @twilightavenue @rayraymylove @ryvannanightshade @fr34k4c1dr41n @emmiesoverthemoon @youitopia @andreasteed1894 @jinniezret @mandyjo8719 @geni-627 @elizaliza159 @angstylittleb1tch @herondale-lightworm @btch8008s @elqk @simpqueen2025 @danielle143 @petalsandpanicattacks @pvppymin @puoeri @spearbuunn @lttlekomori @eclips-moon @importantphantomjellyfish @honeyyyy21 @g1ul1a-s @jeonginsfavglazer @fussel9913 @v3n7s @fairyprincesslvr21 @soldantae @emmalabo @star-my @hanniballecters @rougegenshin

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