THEY ARE HORRORS TO YOU, HOWEVER I’M TURNED ON BY THEM.
⁀➴ i don’t have a name that you can call me, i like sweet nicknames more. so call me anything. she/her. safe space. requests open, feel free to request anything from me, like even the most fucked up shit. you’re never judged here. bc i see u.
masterlist.
general taglist closed.
dear y/n series taglist closed.
if you ask to be on the general, you won’t get tagged on the dear y/n series. same goes other way around, though as you can see, they’re both closed already. if you have any questions, don’t be shy. love u.
*note, if i flirt with you in my comments it’s all jokes, i’m straight as a ruler. if i ever stop posting completely it’s because i took my own life, i wouldn’t disappear wordlessly otherwise.
summary: part three. been to all four dorms now, that takes a talent only you have. fucking multiple famous men is a talent only you have. (chan, felix getting their dicks wet in this one and partly 3racha)
warnings: power imbalance, objectification of reader, cursing, talks of religion and periods, sexual content(oral f and m receiving, handjob m receiving, cum eating, protected p in v, titfucking, making out, exhibitionism, heavy sexual tension, mentions of pubic hair), multiple sex scenes, manipulation, tiny mention of drugging and an abortion but nobody’s pregnant dw, dumb men
word count: 25k
part 1 part 2
you and chan basically fall through the dorm’s front door, making out, his mouth on yours, hot and wet and him and desperate, tongue in there.
you stumble backward, whining into his mouth, and he kicks the door shut behind him.
you’re pressed against it instantly, his body pinning you there as he fumbles with the lock behind your back. fucks around a bit, the metal clicks. finally. he groans in relief on your lips and kisses you harder, one hand cupping your face, the other grabbing your ass and squeezing.
“myeah, mhm…” he mutters on your mouth between kisses, biting your bottom lip, sucking on it, then licking back into your mouth. he’s starving for his assistant.
you’re just as bad, starving for your boss, hands fisting his hoodie, pulling him closer, moaning softly into the kiss. oh how that turns him on, actually flips his tummy.
it’s cute, how both of you fight your shoes off with your own feet, kicking and stumbling around.
the spit swapping that’s going on there.
you start ripping at each other, stumbling toward his room. his hoodie comes off first, ending up somewhere in the hallway. your shirt is next, buttons flying as he yanks it open. you’re pulling at his belt, he’s shoving your pants down your hips, you almost trip over your own feet. clothes half on, half off, oh look at that his shirt is already on the couch, mouths never leaving each other for more than a second. his hands are squeezing your tits, grabbing your ass, sliding between your legs to grope.
“bedroom.” he growls on your neck, biting down.
you moan.
jeongin’s voice “okay woah what.”
you two jump apart.
jeongin is standing in the kitchen doorway, spoon in his bowl of cereal, staring at you both with wide eyes. his hair is all over his head, wearing just boxers and a tshirt, tbh he just woke up for a midnight snack.
“holy shit. you two are finally doing it?” he laughs, waving his spoon. “don’t mind me. i’m just getting food, uh, carry on. be as loud as you want, i got headphones. have fun, hyung. y/n.”
he walks back to his room. the others will so hear about channie hyung and the assistant half naked in the hallway.
you and chan stand there for a bit, breathing hard, thinking.
then chan looks at you. you look at chan.
the thought processes about what just happened completely break, he basically jumps at you, kisses you again, so good. he knows how to put those huge lips to use. holy shit those lips, you feel so lucky.
his hands are on your waist as he walks you backward toward his room. his mouth is so hot, so wanting you, tongue fucking into yours.
you kiss him back as much as you can, not a thought in your head, fingers in his hair, moaning into his mouth.
the door shuts behind you.
and then it’s just you and chan, again. no more interruptions, no more thinking, just the human need that’s been building for weeks finally coming out.
he pushes you onto his bed, crawling over you, kissing you. oh how much he wanted this. his hands slide under your bra, you’re pulling at his pants, he’s yanking your shirt the rest of the way off, you let out a soft pathetic cute little whine when you have to pull away from him to get the shirt off. oh, sweetie, soon, it’s okay, channie’s here.
“fuck, i want you.” he groans on your mouth, he sounds so good. “i want you.”
“mm…” is your answer besides pulling him closer, legs wrapping around his waist, and kissing him, because with him, you mean it.
just you and chan, finally.
you cage him. how he enjoys feeling that, your beautiful legs wrapped around his waist, hands in his hair, pulling him closer. it’s exactly what you had to stop that night in this very room, now you’re finishing it. finally. no more stopping, no more pulling away because it felt too… because it felt like something, now it’s just you and him, mouths crashing, tongues and breathing and bodies and genitalia and emotions.
this soothes the insecurity he has, you’re a huge help, he feels… genuinely the happiest in months. he knows he fucked up the staying professional but he still ended up with you under him, that after all he didn’t fuck it up completely. not enough to lose you, for sure.
but you let him really because you’re tired of stopping, tired of being the mature one, because you want him. you’ve wanted to finish what you started.
you’re glad you get to. glad to feel how he smacks on your mouth, also reaches under you to fuck with your bra until he gets it undone.
fights it off, tossing it somewhere, neither of you cares where. he pulls away to get a good look at you, someone so much lower than him, his eyes actually change as he takes your shape in, shapes. his assistant is lying under him with her tits out, nipples hard, your tits going out towards your arms(so, just gravity), looking so luring and soft to the touch.
he tests that last theory himself. gets the hand he took your bra off with and cups one breast, then the other, squeezing and fondling and groping and taking the shape up.
“yeah…” he mutters, kneads, feels the weight of them. he’ll never forget this.
you reach down, start yanking at his pants, there goes all your professionalism flying out the window, but is channie someone to mind? no. he helps you, lifting his hips, kicking them off while still kissing you(the best he can with paying attention to two things at once). why do men always leave their socks on? like chan’s hot above you and he looks really good in underwear only, but… but again, socks.
not like you care or anything, you kiss him the same as you did before. even more, even better, you want him more now, the sight of the bang chan in his boxer briefs only, or whatever they’re called, could spur anyone on. succeeded, with you.
and you’re pressed together, his chest on your tits, his hips between your thighs, grinding on each other(deja vu?) while your mouths stay locked. his hands squeeze your ass, slide up your sides, cup your tits again, he can’t decide what he wants to touch most. you’re the same there, hands running down his back, over the bruises and marks from all the intense treatments he puts his body through. he shivers.
and mainly, neither of you stops the feeling that’s… that it’s heavier than just sex now, you both can tell, his kisses get slower sometimes, deeper, because he’s savoring it, savoring this time with you, and your hands are gentle on his back, running your nails up and down on his beautiful skin, wanting him to feel good.
you’re both aware this is crossing the line you two drew before, and neither of you cares. you both just want each other, you both just want to fuck!
“you feel so good.” he breathes on your lips. “so fucking good.”
“mm.” and you kiss him harder, legs tightening around his waist then loosening up again, but not enough to let him go, pulling him closer. your socks rub on his lower back, his ass, sometimes the back of his thighs.
the making out in just underwear feels… closer, more intimate than being fully naked somehow. the friction, the teasing, the way you can feel every inch of him pressed on you and knowing that it’ll be in you very soon, the knowledge of it all, the want. it’s torture, the good kind.
chan cups your tit again, fondling your nipple between his fingers while he kisses you deep and slow, then fast and messy, then deep again. he’s enjoying this more than anything, he can’t think of anything he enjoyed this much in a good while.
you run your hands down his back, squeeze his muscles gently. massage, give love to. he groans into your mouth, goes down on your neck, your collarbone, your chest.
“slower on my neck.” you breathe. “feels better when you suck a little first.”
he nods on your skin. “like this?” he sucks gently, then harder, tongue swirling on your skin.
you arch with a soft moan. “yeah… fuck, like that.”
he smiles on your skin, keeps going lower, kissing between your tits, then down your stomach. his hands slide up your sides, thumbs caressing the undersides of your breasts before he drives them under your arms. you shift your legs, your heels on his waist.
“your legs feel good like that.” he murmurs, then puts his lips on your skin again. “higher?” he’s asking about kissing on you.
“higher.” you pull him closer with your heels. “i like feeling you on me.”
he groans softly, taking one hand off you to adjust his hard cock. “good. because i like being here.”
you smile.
he kisses higher so, really wanting to make his woman feel good. not his, but in his head, in his instincts, you’re his woman.
he takes a tiny inch of your skin between his teeth and oh so softly nibbles on it, making you arch and moan. his hands up there cup your tits, pinching your nipples gently. always gently.
“yeah, like that. your hands feel so good.” you mumble.
“good. tell me when you want me to stop.”
“mhm.”
he makes out with your skin. slow, open mouthed kisses, tongue dragging on you, teeth grazing. when he reaches your belly button he kisses it, tongue dipping in, lips sucking gently, and as you bring your hand down to his face at that, he turns and kisses your palm, soft, makes out with that too, then your wrist, before sucking one of your fingers into his mouth. then he looks up at you. it’s intimate. hot. you’re throbbing just watching him, and you’re panting so hard without even noticing, and you two are exactly like this, this intimate.
he even takes your socks off when your legs move around him, peeling them off gently and tossing them aside. and here you thought him and hyunjin were so different, you just hope they won’t bring the red lights out next time, either of them. not the song but the actual lighting. just no.
he kisses the inside of your ankle before moving back up, it feels so new and exciting and once in a while, like when someone runs their nails up and down your skin just because it feels good, even now you’re moaning so loud. loud enough that jeongin in the other room is def having the time of his life.
if he’s not getting jealous of how much more chan can make you moan, your beautiful little soft, breathy, real moans that you can’t hold back because chan is being so thorough, so focused on making you feel good.
who cares about jeongin now.
definitely who cares about him when chan pauses at the edge of your panties. cute little ones. simple black, nothing fancy, but they look sweet, to him.
he hooks his fingers in the waistband and looks up at you. “can i pull these down? please.”
you nod, lifting your hips. “yeah. take them off.”
he does, slow and careful, sliding them down your legs. when they catch on your ankles he brushes his big lips on the little bone that pokes out in the inside of your ankle. then tosses the panties aside too and stares at your bare pussy.
“you’re beautiful.” he whispers. you’re relatively confident in yourself, but he has no idea how much it means to hear that from him. and he’ll… probably never have. what time is there to talk when he leans in and kisses the inside of your thigh, smacking quietly with how he kisses it with an open mouth, working his way higher.
and when he arrives there, he leans down and kisses your pussy softly.
just a little kiss.
just gentle, reverent kisses all over your folds, worshipping it. saying hello. getting to know you with his mouth.
he gives your clit one soft kiss, you twitch, so he does it again. then again. then another, then a little lower, then down to your entrance, spreading your folds with his fingers and dragging his tongue up your slit in one long, slow lick.
“fuck.” you breathe, head falling back. your hands fist the sheets.
now with you open, he kisses your entrance too. then starts making out with it, slow, always so slow, his saliva smacking and stretching between him and you, lips sucking gently on your labia, then dipping his chin down to suck in your entrance whole, like he’s eating a peach, taking his sweet time. savoring every inch, giving your clit the lightest brush with his thumb every now and then, circling it slowly so you’re entertained too.
“fuck… you taste so good.” and he knows what to say too? “tell me what you want.”
“more on my clit.” you breathe, hips rolling up, grabbing into his hair to keep him there. he finds that so hot. “but keep doing that with your mouth. it feels amazing.”
he obeys, thumb pressing harder on your pretty clit while his tongue pushes inside you, dips inside you, shallow, then deeper, fucking you with his tongue. his nose brushes your clit alongside his fingers, then takes his thumb away to suck on your clit.
you moan, loud, jeongin’s about to do the same next room. your hips try to roll but his hands hold you open and still, so strong. so in control. and so fucking good at this.
you moan louder, so pretty, hand fisting the sheets. “yes, like that, don’t stop…”
he hums happily on your pussy, listening. he’s good at listening. stays on your clit a little longer when your hips jerk, then goes back to kissing and licking your entrance when you need a second. meanwhile he’s stroking your thighs, squeezing your ass, holding you open for his mouth. so focused, so hungry. trying to take care of you too.
you’re staring at the ceiling, mouth open, moaning around everytime his tongue does something new, how he makes out with your pussy like he’s kissing your mouth. slow, deep, wet, thorough. tongue sliding inside you, then out to circle your clit, then back down. he listens to every sound you make and adjusts. when you moan louder he stays there. when you gasp he eases up. he’s learning you, was about time to anyway.
he wants to make you feel good so bad. he wants to show you, prove he can take care of you the way you take care of all of them. not just because he wants to fuck you after, but because he needs to, and because he wants to give you something back. feels like the least he can do. it’s part ego, part genuine care, because chan cares about you.
his assistant.
it’s the hottest thing he’s ever done. eating his assistant out. you’re so lower than him, you work for him, and he’s between your legs. you’re supposed to be the one serving instead he’s on his knees and stomach, giving you pleasure. it feels so fucking good he can barely think straight.
the hand in his hair, you drive it lower to his jaw, just holding it. out of need, out of affection.
he hums, pleased, and goes slower, savoring you, his tongue sliding through your folds, parting them, tasting every inch of you, then circles your clit with it gently, just teasing with the tip of his tongue before moving back down to your entrance and putting his thumb back on your clit.
and let’s think back to how you didn’t get this from jeongin, from hyunjin, (from changbin you probably would have but anyways), they didn’t do it with the main goal of pleasing you, they just wanted a vagina in their faces. chan does this with the main goal of making you, you as a person with thoughts and dreams and a personality, feel good. chan spits on your pussy too now, but then licks it up while flicking his tongue around, holy shit, groaning at the taste.
and chan… chan is kinda scared that if he doesn’t make this perfect, you’ll realize you can get this from any of the others and you won’t need him anymore. so he pours everything into it, every lick, every suck, every sound, he wants to be irreplaceable. he wants to be the one you think about when you touch yourself. he wants to take you away from anyone else the way you’ve already took him away.
“you taste so fucking good.” he mutters on you, into you, voice muffled. then looks up at you. “i’ll give you anything you want tonight, y/n.”
oh?
“mmh, mm..” and he takes your word for it(which was that), takes in notice how your pussy is clenching around nothing everytime he pulls his tongue out.
so he just has to satisfy you all the time, constantly, properly! he slides two fingers inside you while his mouth focuses on your clit. he curls them around, searching and exploring, stroking upwards(if that’s not your special spot he’ll find it somewhere else anyway, but judging by your sounds he’s on a good lead) while his tongue circles and sucks gently on your clit.
your back arches, you throw your flawless little head back, moaning for him. just how he likes to hear.
he pulls his fingers out(already? oh, no, he’s doing something) spreads your pussy open with those shiny fingers, and just looks at you.
wet, swollen, dripping.
his eyes actually flutter.
then he leans in and makes out with your clit. soft, slow, tongue flicking gently, then harder, then lips sucking in, and he slides his fingers back inside, three this time, stretching you open while his tongue keeps working your clit. he curls them, strokes the spot you reacted to and spreads his fingers to cover more, fucks you with them.
he knows how to eat someone out, he’s learned from experience, from paying attention, from actually caring about making his partner feel good instead of just using them. every movement is with a purpose. every lick, every suck, every curl of his fingers is made to pull more sounds out of you. he wants you to feel so good you forget your own name. he wants to be the only one.
he’s also just a man who’s been touch starved for years. hugging innie just doesn’t do it after a while. eating your pussy feels like… coming home. your taste, your sounds, the way your thighs shake around his head, it’s actually calming to a messed up head like his.
he sucks on your clit, gentle, lips sealed around you, tongue flicking softly underneath the hood where you’re most sensitive. he loves the way your whole body jolts when he does that, how your heel kicks at his back, so he stays there, sucking a little harder, tongue pressing down and then pointed, circling, flicking, learning what you like. he’ll need it later. his chin is soaked. his cheeks are shiny. he wants to drown in you.
he’s making love to your pussy.
and looks so cute!! down there but you’re too busy writhing around to pay attention to his cutieful face. when you moan louder his eyebrows furrow in concentration, then his eyes squeeze shut for a second to map you better. when you clench around his tongue his nostrils flare. when you try to grind on his face his lips curl into this satisfied little smile in your pussy, proud of himself. how much he enjoys this, how much power he feels from having his assistant on his tongue.
every moan you make strokes his ego and soothes the constant ache of “am i enough?” that lives in him through every day, every hour. he wants to be special and special for you in particular, and now he feels like he’s succeeding.
you grip his shoulders, so hot and firm but you’re gripping hard, trying to pull him up. “channn, please, i need you inside me— mhm fuck come up here…”
he’s so massive, your fingers dig into the sore spots on his shoulders from all the moving, pressing right on the bruises, but he doesn’t even budge. he clearly notices, but he’s too in the taste of your pussy, the sounds you’re making, how your body is shaking for him, wants to spend a little more time down there. he wants to give you everything. he wants to make you cum on his tongue first. he wants to make you cum before he fucks you.
but you keep pulling, desperate, suddenly not so professional and composed. “chanplease i want your cock, i need it, now—”
oh okay shit he didn’t know it was like that.
in that case, okay!
he smacks away from your pussy lips, leans back in to give your little cunny another long lick with a focused grimace on his face, little more suckling on your little clit before be crawls up your body, whole face shiny with you, and when he’s face to face with you he kisses you.
he pants into the kiss. grips his cock through his underwear to try and relieve the brutal ache. doesn’t work. he’s so hard it hurts, so he keeps rubbing and constantly adjusting while he kisses you, tongue fucking your mouth the same way he was just tongue fucking your pussy.
“you taste so fucking good.” he mutters on your lips. “could eat you for hours.”
you moan into his mouth, hands running down his back, feeling him up so good he shudders above you.
you’re so turned on you can barely think. “chan, i want you, i want you..”
“okay, y/n, okay.” he kisses you again, saying goodbye, calming you, then pulls back. “wait for me. just a second, baby. let me get a condom.”
you whine, batting at his shoulder with one hand, the other pulling at his arm, trying to drag him back down. “boss please i don’t wanna wait—”
boss? y/n, you dirty girl!
he chuckles, breathless, he looks breathtaking, and leans to the side, stretching to reach the bedside drawer. you keep whining, so pretty, your hips moving around in place as you hit his shoulder again, and again, not really hard, just little… taps. he’s taking too long and you need him now.
holy shit what happened to you?
you’re never like this. you were the one that beat brain into chan not too long ago when it was about jeongin, but now under him, you’re just as animal as every human is. you want too. you want just as much as they do, and now you’re expressing it. first time you express it, to the first boy who had you like anything.
chan has never been more turned on, he can’t believe his eyes. his head spins, you’re so hot like this. his calm, puttogether assistant like this for him. begging for his cock. sex itself.
he finally gets a condom, rips it open, and rolls it on while you watch.
your eyes are glued to his cock. holy shit how good the latex looks on him, a hundred times better than it was in your mouth. you express that specifically with “mmh”s and “please”s watching as he strokes himself once, twice, making sure the condom is on right.
it’s been a while since he felt this accepted(and felt pussy in general, and as he would say after more serious sentences like this, lol, or perhaps he’d go with his well known hahaha). this adored. the way you’re looking at him, the way you’re whining for him, the way your body is open and dripping and ready, the human instinct we all have for sex clicks into place. his little heart clicks into place, and he feels seen, he feels wanted for more than just his money and talent and looks and status, he feels like a man.
he leans back down, kissing you, swallowing your little whimpers as he lines himself up.
“you ready?” he breathes on your mouth.
you nod frantically, legs wrapping tighter around him.
“please, chan, fuck me.”
he breathes out at hearing that, and pushes in.
deeeeear god his eyes roll back by themselves.
hm, so do yours.
he goes slow at first, sliding through the wetness he left in you, face shifting in pleasure. when he bottoms out, hips flush against yours, he stays there, on you and close to you, so… intimate.
“fuck… you feel so good.”
you’re trembling under him, nails digging into his back, legs locked around his waist. you feel so full, so wanted, so seen, so needed.
he, slowly, starts moving. slow for now, deep thrusts. makes your eyes roll back. as he moves out you moan, loud, jeongin doesn’t even pass your mind, because it feels too good to stay quiet. chan moans with you through it, him quieter, starting to build a pace that seems to pleasure both of you. though you seem… pleasured enough.
“yeah, myeah…” he mutters on top, holding onto you to fuck you right, to pleasure you right, to pleasure himself.
you moan a “chan.” out oh shit jeongin is kicking his feet together and giggling next room. you moan “harder.” you moan “deeper.” and you take every thrust because you’ve been waiting just as long, under the surface that you don’t even know has an under layer. but it is THE bang chan fucking you, after all.
because chan was made for fucking you. fucks you with a purpose that can be felt, deep, steady, doing his best to drag every thick inch of his cock along your walls and succeeding heavily, hitting that spot after spot inside you over and over until your head is spinning. he’s savoring every second of being buried inside you. the head of his cock nudges your cervix with every deeper thrust, making your eyes flutter and your mouth fall open in a constant stream of soft, breathy moans.
you sound beautiful.
he’s more than grateful to be the one making you sound like this.
everytime he bottoms out a little whimper slips out of you, and everytime he pulls back, you moan at the loss, only for it to turn into a louder sound when he pushes back in. you can’t care about the job you have, about the others, about jeongin, about anything else, all you know is the feeling of his thick cock stretching you open, sliding around in you, how dirty it sounds when he slaps back inside of you and you two’s skins collide, and how he squelches inside of you.
chan is quieter, but he’s not silent. he’s more masculine with his sounds, besides how his cock shlk shlk shlks inside your cunt. little grunts and groans and man moans.
“fuck… you feel so good.” he breathes on your neck. “so wet— jesus, y/n—” jesus and y/n in the same sentence??
he moans softly when you clench around him, hips stuttering to a stop before he gets his rhythm back, desperate to chase the pleasure every human on earth is unable to resist. the wet slap of his hips meeting your ass will be just as unforgettable as eating you out was.
your tits jiggle under him with every thrust, they’re so… soft, breathtaking, in his opinion, and bouncing in time with his movements, he’s hypnotized, one hand coming up to cup one, squeezing, thumb and forefinger rolling the nipple together while he keeps fucking you in those perfect, deep strokes.
the sight of your tits moving like that, soft flesh rippling, nipples pebbled, makes him almost cum, he has to squeeze your whole breast to hold back, groaning.
then fucks you a little harder anyway, watching them bounce.
his hand feels so good on you, he feels so good, your hands start to try to reach for anything to hold onto, and starting at his arms, they end up on his back, the most comfortable.
nails digging into the bruises from all the treatments, pressing right into the sore spots. you’re not trying to be gentle, you can’t be, every deeper thrust(and most of them are in that category) makes your fingers curl harder into his skin, leaving little marks on his already marked up skin.
he hisses sometimes when you hit a particularly tender bruise, but he doesn’t stop you, if anything it makes him fuck you deeper, because chan has some serious kinks that need unpacking. you’ll do that later too, guarantee.
you’ll absolutely do that, fuck him more after this for sure, since his cock is so perfect. flawless, quite literally, thick enough to stretch you open, long enough to reach spots, moved just right to drag on your front wall, then side ones with how he pumps into you. you moan particularly loud when he pulls back completely so that the head is just between your folds, then pushes in again, making you feel how he pops in.
and everytime he bottoms out his smooth, heavy balls press on your ass, twitching when you clench around him, oh how much you love this man now. too bad it will fade once you came.
but now, you sure would like to marry him. how his face moves, that chan thing he can do with his eyebrows and eyes, his nose, how he’s sweating, across his chest and shoulders, muscles flexing and shifting under his skin as he holds himself up and fucks you, how his abs look when you look down. they’re tight, shifting with how he does, his vline leading down to where his cock disappears inside you.
your head lolls back, basically yowling out for him.
then falls back forward, eyes closed at the indirect pressure your clit gets with how his hips grind against you. then falls back on his pillow, your boss’ pillow, almost unable to listen to the squelching as he fucks you. fucks you good.
mind you you’re the one making everything slippery and messy, your arousal is dripping down your ass, soaking his balls, around his cock, smearing his thigh sweat around as you unconsciously move your legs, close and let them drop around his slutty little man hips.
it feels so good your eyes keep rolling back, mouth unable to close, moaning and crying out and whining and yes, chan, please!
he buries his face in your neck, lips brushing your skin, breathing on you, so hot, so intimate. every thrust makes him groan softly on you, but still he’s so focused, so present, every little reaction you give him, every moan, every clench, every twitch of your thighs around him, he notices. he adjusts. he gives you more of what makes you louder.
you’re clawing at his back, somebody help that man(do not, he’s right where he wants to be), nails dragging down the bruises, leaving fresh red lines. he hisses, but his hips snap a little faster, because the pain turns him on even more.
you’re so close, but he wants this to last. he wants to feel you like this for as long as possible.
he looks down at your tits again, groaning, taken aback by how they bounce and ripple under him, god y/n you’ve been hiding all this under those fancy work clothes?, and leans down to suck one into his mouth, really just suck around dumbly because he’s in too much pleasure to properly give attention to them, that’s why he goes back to kissing your neck too.
“you’re so fucking perfect.” he whispers on your skin. “you feel incredible.”
“mmah, chan—“ chan indeed.
your hands slide down to his ass, gripping the firm muscle, men and their little man asses, trying to urge him faster.
he chuckles breathlessly, does his best to satisfy you, but also oh if he goes too fast he’ll cum too soon. so he decides to stay with his main rhythm, he’ll get you there, don’t worry, y/n.
he will, for sure. he’s making your eyes roll back again and again, you’re so close, so fucking close.
only thing that successfully snaps you out of your trance is when chan leans down, capturing your mouth in a messy kiss, literally capturing it, then sliding his tongue against yours while he keeps fucking you. not that only, but he also reaches down between you two and finds your clit(with a little fumbling around, but he got it!) and starts rubbing fast circles.
you actually have to part from him from how loud you cry out at that.
he smiles. that’s what he likes to hear.
his trauma, his loneliness, his fear, all are getting cured real time while he’s with you. when he’s inside you, when he’s buried deep and you’re moaning only for him, it’s healing, what’s in him. no schedules here, no expectations, no fear, just the feeling of your warm, wet pussy squeezing around him, your hands on his back, your mouth on his.
he feels safe. he feels wanted. he feels like a man instead of a machine.
every deep thrust, every moan you give him, everytime you clench around his cock chips away at the armor he’s built. he doesn’t have to be perfect here, he can just feel, he can just take, and you let him. you want him to. originally with another random sex partner, he would also perform, but this instinct disappeared the second you told him you don’t care if he’s shaven. that acceptance is more healing than any therapy or rest day could ever be.
for you it’s simpler, but still works on you. you’re overworked. that’s true. managing eight evil, needy, famous men is a fulltime emotional and physical job on top of the actual work. you’re tired, you’re stretched thin, but it’s not that deep. it just feels good. you can take it, chan can’t take much more.
you like being needed this badly, you like being the center of his world for these few hours, it balances something in you. but that’s mostly it, you have no deep heartbreaking constant trauma to heal. you’re just having fun.
the chemistry between you two makes it easier. it’s blowing the roof off.
you’ve never felt this with anyone else. the way your bodies just fit, the way he knows how to move to make you moan, the way you know exactly how to clench or roll your hips to make him react. it’s like your bodies were waiting for each other.
none of the others felt like this.
with chan it’s different, it’s deep, it’s connected, it’s like every thrust is language.
“chaaaannie fuuck, don’t stop, pleasepleaseplease don’t— so deep— ahhrighttherrrre oooooh my god— don’t stop—don’t, i’m— fuck, chan, chan, please—”
your nails hurt his back but he doesn’t care, he wants to give you what you want, what he can perfectly understand even though the shit you say doesn’t make sense, so he leans back from you to get a better angle on you, fucks you better, devastatingly, ruthlessly. makes your toes curl and your pussy flutter around him.
he’s the one who makes you cum.
the first one.
always has been, in a way.
even that first night when you stopped him, something in you knew he was different. now he’s proving it.
your body locks up, back arching, mouth open, silent, then that turns into loud moans, cries, screams. your legs shake violently. your nails dig into his back as he hits that spot inside you over and over while you cum.
chan groans at how that hurts but fucks you through it, drawing it out as long as he can.
he watches your face, your lovely face, at how your eyes roll back and close and open, how your mouth opens, tears of pleasure at the corners of your eyes, and he finally feels like what he’s been craving to feel like, your first.
you’re amazing.
chan slows but doesn’t stop to keep you enjoying coming down, leaning back down to your neck, your jaw, your lips, murmuring “yeah… myeah.” on your skin.
now he just needs to get himself there too.
he’s been holding back, making sure you came first even though he was ready to bust basically the second he sunk into you, but now he needs it. he needs to cum.
you’re still fluttering around him, sensitive and oversensitive, but you take it. you want him to feel good too.
you clench around him on purpose, trying your best, giving him what you can still give, and not even ten-fifteen thrusts later, chan buries his face in your neck with a loooooud groan, hips stuttering as he cums. his cock pulses inside you, thick ropes filling the condom, in the same time with his balls twitching against your ass, drawing up tight as they empty. he keeps grinding through it, slow, shallow, this of course where his whole body isn’t locked up, muscles trembling.
he stays inside you as his cock twitches with the last weak pulses, forehead pressed to your shoulder, breathing hard.
then, with a tired sigh, he slowly pulls out. so fucking tired he doesn’t even bother with the condom. it stays on his softening cock, full and hanging there as he rolls onto his back beside you.
lying next to each other, both butt fucking naked except… except for his socks, those stupid fuckass socks still on his feet, and the used condom clinging to him. it’s intimate, just like you two always have been.
after a while you hum softly, reaching blindly around for the covers at the foot of the bed. the nakedness feels too much now, the human instinct everyone has all around the world this was so intended to cover up once the heat of the moment fades. chan notices, what doesn’t this man notice, hums back in that tired way of his, and reaches down to help you pull the blanket over both of you.
you mumble a quiet “thanks” as you throw it over your bodies, tucking it around your shoulders.
“anytime.”
…
this is nice.
you’re thinking you should probably go pee, the smart thing would be to clean up, but the thought of walking out there and facing jeongin after everything that just happened(because you’re a 100% sure he did not use the mentioned headphones and didn’t go to sleep either) makes you stay put. whatever. you’ll deal with it later.
chan is only thinking about you. his mind doesn’t have his upcoming things for once. his wrinkled brain has no schedules, no pressure, no guilt about the group or the complicated lines you keep crossing. just you. the way you felt around him. how you moaned his name. how you let him have this without making it weird or heavy afterward. he feels… peaceful. grateful. a little affected by the realization of how much he wants this again, how much he wants you. not just your body, but you, his assistant, 1/1 in the flesh, all of you in for him.
he turns his head slightly, looking at your profile, and lets himself enjoy the simple fact that you’re still here. he wishes this won’t have to end.
then he watches your hand, instead. it’s resting on the bed between you two, palm up, fingers slightly curled. he thinks about grabbing it. just sliding his fingers between yours, holding it, casual intimacy. or maybe leaning over and pressing a soft kiss to your hair, breathing you in. afterglow. he wants to. he really fucking wants to.
but before he can move, you’re already sitting up, reaching for the edge of the blanket like you’re about to get up and leave.
there goes his chance.
“no.” he says quickly. “stay. i’ll get a towel. just… stay right there.”
hm. okay. you don’t complain, just nod, pulling the blanket up higher around your chest and scooting back to lean back.
you look so cute. embodiment of soft, now you’re the one that looks like a little meow meow. tired, obviously, used, looking like you could just photosynthesize away.
chan gets up, legs a little shaky, and deals with the condom first. he peels it off from his softening cock, tying the end with a little quick knot, and glances over his shoulder, sees you watching his back.
he giggles, a little embarrassed but mostly pleased. “don’t look.”
you pull the blanket over your head.
he smiles to himself as he wipes the mess off his cock with a random piece of clothing from the floor, damn, he really should keep towels in his room. his cum is lukewarm and sticky around the base of his dick, a little gross but also weirdly satisfying. he feels proud when he looks at the tied condom in his hand. like okay shit he finally got some play. pure masculine pride, he did that. you let him. you wanted him. he tosses it in the small trash bin by the desk, then pulls his expensive ass black boxer briefs back on, the only thing he bothers with most nights anyway.
he leaves the room, oh look at that the shit you’re making your boss do for you, to the bathroom to grab a towel for you. jeongin’s nowhere around, and chan feels calm. lighter, content.
chan feels really happy!!
when he comes back you hold your arms out and he throws, well more like tosses the towel gently to you. you catch it, and he turns around immediately, respectful king.
how you’re wiping yourself with him in there is… strangely intimate. like really. he’d be down to have this other times too.
“done.” you say.
he turns back around and holds his arm out, so you throw the used towel at him. he catches it, then, the little shit, brings it up to his nose and inhales so loud.
your mouth falls open. “eeew!”
he pokes his tongue out at you with a big, boyish smile, jesus christ he’s beautiful. cheekiness suits him.
he knots his brows together one last time, no reason really it’s just a human thing we sometimes randomly do, and throws the towel into his chair. yeah okay why would you even expect men to have a laundry basket of some sort in their own rooms, genuinely why.
so he climbs back onto the bed, lying down beside you, close, afterglow.
silence is nice now.
he looks over at you. your hair is messy, your lips are a little swollen, your face is natural, and you’re beautiful. this is more than just sex. he wants to do it again, but slower next time.
you on the other hand, can’t wait to go to work next day and bask in the attention of the others too.
“don’t let it get to your head,” you say, saying it so it gets to his head. “but… you’re the first one who made me cum.”
chan’s pretty face stops in place. “what?” he props himself up on one elbow, jesus christ his lips look even better this way. “jeongin and hyune said you were… you know. they made it sound like—”
you shake your head, pulling your mouth into a line. “mm, they didn’t.”
the boy’s eyes almost fall out of his head.
then he laughs, now that’s another thing jeongin can for sure hear from the other room, jesus christ chan volume, but he even throws his head back, one hand over his face, shaking, okay suddenly it’s hot now.
he leans forward, wheezes. “holy shit. they were bragging and you didn’t even… fuck. that’s the best thing i’ve heard all week.” why does he talk so… like this? ugh you can’t even hate him for it, the dick is too good.
and oh how good he feels, he made you cum. him. your first. so this was always meant to be, obviously. see? he can give you something the others couldn’t, this heals his insecurities so good too. and makes them worse, also, because that’s just hyunjin and jeongin you tried. what about the others?? he almost starts chewing on his nails.
and okay, you didn’t plan to tell him, it just… slipped out. but saying it out loud made you feel better about doing this with chan, and you know that it’ll a 100% mean something to him now, this whole thing, even though it already meant lots. but now it’s sealed, if that’s the right word. you got a celebrity wrapped around your finger.
chan watches you, now just wordlessly smiling at you with that beautiful smile. “stay here tonight?”
oh. “right here?”
“right here.” he pats the bed. “in this bed. with me.”
you… think, for a visible while. so chan sits up, goes and finds your panties and bra. throws them gently at you with a small smile.
“here. if you want to, but… yeah.”
you catch them, but you don’t move yet, only bite your lip. okay, well, shit, this is more than just sex but now it’s coming from your side too.
he climbs back over you, god he’s so pretty it hurts sometimes, and leans down and kisses you. slow, putting those angelic lips to good fucking use. no even tongue now, he’s just slow, making you feel that there’s no hurry this night, that you should stay. manipulative fuck. especially oooooh especially with how he cups your face with one hand, thumb stroking your cheek.
when he pulls back you’re both breathing a little faster.
“hm? stay?”
you look at him, try to decide. “uh…” this big, strong, responsible man who just fucked you and is now asking you to sleep in his bed, but you couldn’t possibly for the sake of both of you. “okay. i’ll stay.”
y/n!! what did we just say?!
chan smiles and kisses you again, oh there’s some good lip movement, then rolls off to the side, lets you go when you want to lean away. you pull your little panties up, awkward little position but where would chan mind that he doesn’t even register it as something awkward, then you sit up, hunched over, holding your bra in your hands.
you stop. ugh, you haven’t slept in a bra since the exact second seungmin was born. (exaggeration, you actually had to not too long ago but even that was a sport’s bra and not this!)
“what’s wrong?” chan asks.
you mutter “not in the mood.” and start pulling the bra up anyway, straps up on your arms, yaay torture.
chan is already out of bed, oh fuck’s sake!
you stop with the bra having your tits in it but not clasped yet, which would have been trouble too. but asking chan to do it would have made you two’s relationship even more intimate and close. “you already got out of bed like three times today, chan. sit your ass down.”
“eugh—“ as he pushes himself out of the bed. “no.”
he opens his whatever he keeps his man clothes in and quickly pulls out one of his big black shirts, and tosses it at you.
it lands on your lap.
great, one more thing making it deeper between you two.
you sigh but take it. “thanks.” pull it over your head, you act like a bitch even though it is better than your bra, which you end up putting down on the floor next to the bed carefully, one cup in the other, you’re not an animal, not a man, or whatever these two do in this apartment. you’re sure the window is only open because jeongin opens it because of you having chances of coming over
chan climbs back into bed, the mattress dipping under his weight, now that’s a huge man. so so so hot, oh you’re so down for a second round. maybe that would even make it less intimate, would make this situation better too, just lying side by side, not quite looking at each other.
the hesitation is felt. both of you thinking about it. do we cuddle? is that too much? is that crossing another line?
your hand twitches. his arm moves too but stays at his body.
then chan makes the decision, moves a little, puts one arm out, and looks at you.
you look back at him. you’re hopeless y/n, scoot over and lay your head on his arm.
he settles, wraps his other arm around you, pulling you in until you’re tucked to his chest. he’s so warm, so solid and man and oh how women and men are made for each other.
you turn your back to him, just for comfort, so you reach back and pull his other arm over your waist so he knows you’re not pulling away. you’re just getting comfortable.
he understands. presses his chest to your back, face buried in your hair.
spooning. perfect spooning. your boss.
your boss needs this though, and you’re just the greatest assistant to give the comfort to him, the comfort he so badly needs after years of trauma, the fear of failing, whatnot else is troubling his strong soul.
you’re always the caretaker. you’re doing what you do best now, you two were made for each other, his soul waited for you, and yours waited for him and the seven other dipshits that need this healing desperately.
it’s adorable how he tucks you into him.
and chan is calm. it just took you. his assistant. today’s task is done, boss, absolutely done.
you fell asleep with your boss.
fuck off, y/n. why did you do that?
why did you when you have no romantic feelings for this man whatsoever?
like, you like the chemistry, you like how hot he is, his lips specifically is a big thing for you, the way his body feels, how he fucked you, his company, his personality.
but it’s not romantic.
it’s deeper than lust but it’s not love. it’s connection, sort of, it’s helping each other, but like when you lie awake thinking about him, it’s not about dating him, but about what will you have to do for him for the next time. you just… like being with him.
you get wet. you get turned on. but your heart doesn’t race for him like how it does when a human has developed a crush, you’re not feeling, you’re… enjoying. using. being used. it’s mutual. it’s physical. it’s emotional support wrapped in really good sex. and you’re okay with that, you’re more than okay with it.
chan, on the other hand is catching feelings, really fast.
he got attached quick. like too quick. exactly that fucking happens when someone’s been starving for a new human connection and finally gets one, obviously.
the shit you do for him quite literally hits different for someone like him. it’s healing old wounds and creating new ones at the same time, he’s lying there thinking you’re his safe place, his person, once in a lifetime type of a person, the one who sees the real him and still wants him. halfway in love with the idea of you.
you don’t reciprocate.
you like him, you care about him, you’d be sad if he got hurt. but your heart isn’t racing for him the way his races for yours.
and you’re protecting yourself, you have to. there are seven other boys who need you too. there’s a job you have to do. you enjoy the chemistry, you enjoy the sex, you enjoy him, but you know falling in love would be dumb. if you let yourself, maybe you could, but not now for sure when you’re this… down to earth about it. because chan is not.
and hyunjin’s hotter anyway.
yeah you’re finding that otherwordly dickhead more attractive that the one who didn’t take this night as just sex, and chan’s hot too but not the one your heart chose.
your body chose him though. that absolutely did, we saw how good you two click, it’s all very attractive, very distracting, very effective at making you cum harder than the others have managed, but not the one that takes you off your feet.
you like him, you respect him. you enjoy his company, but you don’t see him that way. you can easily fuck one of the others next, but you don’t think chan could fuck an other woman after this.
he’s been falling in love slowly since that first night you stopped him from going further. everytime you’ve been kind to him, everytime you’ve listened, everytime you’ve let him have you, it kept adding another layer. and tonight, falling asleep with you in his arms after finally getting to fuck you the way he’s been dreaming about? yeah chan is… helpless.
and you know sleeping over was a bad idea, but you did it anyway because it felt good in the moment. because you were tired, because you enjoy sex. so you’re a little selfish too, in your own way.
you know chan is more invested than you are, you don’t want to hurt him, but you also don’t want to stop. the chemistry is too good, the sex is too good, the comfort he gives you, even if it’s one sided emotionally, is too good. so you let it happen, you let him hold you while you sleep, you let him think whatever he needs to think to keep this going.
whatever. worst case he gets his little heart broken. he’ll get over it. (oh you evil slut)(no, really, time heals everything and he’s a grown ass man, anything happens he’ll get over it and you know that)
you like them all, you care about them all, but you don’t feel more than lust for any of them. you can be as naked in their beds as you want to be, but it’s not going to change your life as much as it changes theirs.
hm. you’d be down for hyunjin now though.
even when you wake up the next morning, which you do before him, your first thought is hyunjin. randomly, whatever.
chan is sleeping on his stomach next to you, one arm under the pillow, the other next to his head, which is turned away. the blanket has slipped down to his lower back, and holy fuck what did you do to this man’s back.
it’s covered in red lines from your nails, some of them dotted with tiny specks of dried blood. bruises from his treatments obviously, and the purple lines of nail scratches on his shoulders and the back of his neck.
you sit up slowly, blanket falling to your waist, and stare at it closer, put a finger on the blood holy shit that is blood.
chan stirs, makes a sleepy grunting man sound, then turns his head toward you, eyes half closed and a pathetic wet little bitch. “hm?”
“your back looks horrible.”
he blinks a few times to get his eyes up, then tries to twist around to see it himself, which is obviously impossible. “can’t see shit. bad?”
“it’s… a lot. like, i drew on you with my nails. there’s blood. actual blood.”
“what… the fuck did you do to me?” he asks, smiling,
you shrug, getting your face closer to the lines. he lets you, drops his head back down. trusts you. “you kept hitting the right spot, it wasn’t on purpose, chan.”
“yeah? which spot was that? i’ll make sure to aim there next time.”
“bold of you to assume there’s a next time.” you poke one of the blood spots.
“ow.”
“shut.”
he just looks up with you with those little wet eyes. sleepy chan, vulnerable.
“morning.” he says.
“morning.” you poke his back again.
“ow. abuse.”
“mm.”
chan really didn’t want to but rolls onto his side, facing you, he wanted to get touched longer but his body was uncomfortable in position and it shifted before he could think about it. oh he looks like a wet animal.
chan moves a little, muscles flexing under the marks, wow hot. “you’re this abusive?”
“mm good sex brings it out, a kink y’know.”
he laughs, fuck, you’re the first thing he wants to see when he wakes up. “hm. so it was good?”
you shrug. “yeah. good.”
he makes this satisfied little hum, sounds good. “good to know. i was worried i was rusty.”
“ah, definitely not that.”
he chuckles. “good. ‘cause i’d do it again right now if my back wasn’t on fire.”
“it’s just little scratches.”
“hah try to walk in my shoes.”
“ah, shut up. let’s dress up.”
he reaches for you. “nooo y/n…”
you huff, pushing the blanket off and reaching down to take chan’s shirt off, yeah chan shuts up real quick.
his eyes, straight to your tits. mouth open. completely in a zone.
seriously. what man doesn’t like breasts.
you sigh, yank your bra up from the floor. shove it right into his face.
he blinks, startled, actually jumps a bit, realizes you’re waving it in his face to show him nothing more’s going to happen. “yeah… right. right.” he forces his eyes up to your face. “sorry. they’re just… there.”
“mhm. i noticed.”
you pull the bra back and start putting it on. he watches the whole thing, eyes watching your hands as you hook it(you’re proud of yourself that you got it, sort of, though you do have to pat it a few times to make sure you clasped them right), adjust the straps, settle your tits into the cups.
“where’s my shirt?” you ask.
he thinks for a second, not exactly fresh because all he can think about is tits. “uh… i think somewhere here on the floor.”
“pants?”
“hallway maybe. i don’t remember.”
“okay well shit.”
he gets up, stretching his arms overhead. “i’ll go get them for you. stay here.”
you nod, “thanks.”, sit on the edge of the bed in just your bra and panties.
chan walks out, kinda half hard in his boxers but whatever not enough to adjust yet, goes out to collect your shit.
jeongin so excitedly runs out his room, deflates when he sees it’s chan and not you. “oh. it’s you.”
“yeah. it’s me. fuck off.”
“ah man, i thought it was y/n coming out.”
“go get ready, idiot.”
“tell her i said hi.”
“fuck off.”
chan walks back to his room, shuts the door behind himself, your clothes in hand. successful. he tosses your shirt and pants onto the bed.
“innie says hi, by the way.”
“hi to him too.”
chan climbs back onto the bed, sitting next to you while you’re dressing. watches the whole thing, wordless, oh you’re his assistant! that’s so cute, you’re so cute, aaaand you’re already getting up. shit, not even a goodbye kiss?
desperate to spend more time with you, he gets up to walk you out. did anyone ask him to? no, nobody asked you to, chan! take a hint! okay, let’s not expect him to, he just had sex last night.
“see you later.” he says, watching you take your shoes on.
“see you.”
he gives you a sweet little wave with a smile, gets a simple smile back, then you’re gone.
chan’s smile drops. he hooks his fingers into the waistband of his boxers, supports them there as he relaxes his (perfect) body a little. looks around, sighs. it feels weird now, you out. but he’ll see you soon, right? at least that’s what he tells himself to make it better.
he turns his head, tilts it to the side, pokes his tongue into his cheek and gets going back to him room, finally.
jeongin is in the door of his room as chan walks past, why is this guy so comical. an acting career plz. “so… good night?”
chan just flips him off without looking at him, and jeongin giggles, runs after him and jumps on chan’s shoulders, well like hands on it and jumping up in the air, not on chan. “hyuuung— wait up! come on, tell me. what happened?”
oh wait what’s the rough spot under his finger— BLOOD PECKS??? SCRATCHES???
“holy shit, your back—“
“i know, man, get off.” he tries to shrug him off, twisting the fuck around.
“maaaan.”
chan twists, trying to elbow him. “i said get off.”
jeongin wraps his leg around chan’s waist but it slides down, but his arms around chan’s shoulders is enough, god someone tell the kid to take a shower, giggling into chan’s ear.
“tell me everything, how was it? i heard you two being so loud, tell me, please. please, hyung, pl—”
chan tries to walk with jeongin is hanging off him and kicking around. “it’s none of your business.”
“it is my business! we tell each other when we get laid! was it good? mine was good, how was yours?? chaaan!”
chan makes a full 360*(i can’t find the little circle) “fuck off, you’re such a pervert.”
“i’m not a pervert! tell me. was she on top? how did you two do it? did she scratch you like that on purpose? you saw your back, man?”
“no because it’s behind me.”
chan turns and starts shaking jeongin around. two grown men in their underwear (well, chan in socks too), shoving growling at each other.
“ow— stop, you little fucker!” oh daddy’s tone is firmer now. “it was good, okay? really good. she’s… yeah. she’s good at it.”
“i know she’s good at it but good at it how? like, details! did she ride you? did she let you eat her out? i ate her out too and i was like so good at it, come on, hyung, don’t leave me hanging. i heard her moaning so loud. she sounded so hot.” he slaps his arms around next to himself.
“go eat your food and stop being a creep.”
“i’m not a creep! please? just one thing.“
chan sighs. deflates a little. “i fucked her. had her under me. happy now?”
jeongin gasps, hands on his cheeks. “woooooaah”
chan shoves him again. “go away before i kill you.”
siblings in another universe.
jeongin pushes himself off with another set of torturing giggles, backing towards his room, smiling ear to ear. “but next time invite me to watch or something.” fun fact that will happen.
chan flips him off. then he goes to get dressed, you not once leaving his mind.
you start the morning the usual, only difference is that you woke up in your boss’ bed after letting him pound you into the bed(exaggeration, he actually… made love to you?), but will that change the usual outcome? no! you still start with handing minho his coffee(he takes it with a nod and a “thanks.”) fun fact, minho appreciates this, kind of, he started to appreciate you. not in the would die for you way, just lust does this to men, sometimes.
then hyunjin.
“so what do we have today?” he asks, taking his from you, sipping through the straw oh you’re going to slap it out his hands.
“ah, mostly choreo today. and recording, ask 3racha for the details of that. nothing moved.”
he nods. “you’re lucky you just have to show up and hand out coffee.”
okay asshole. got it.
“yeah. super lucky. my dream job.”
he huffs a laugh, lets his eyes stay on your lips. “smartass.”
hyunjin is very satisfied that he gets to fuck his assistant.
felix walks in. “y/n! morning!” he waves with a big, sunny, over the top happy smile.
and when you’re just trying to greet him back(formally enough because he’s still your boss) hyunjin starts going on in your ear about “anyways i was going to leave earlier today—“ so you try to juggle the two, but felix seems to understand, goes on his business too.
“ah, yeah—“ you’re telling hyunjin.
“and how are you?” he asks.
you stop. hyunjin asking how you are? the everwhore actually showing interest in something other than your pussy or his own schedule? hello?
“i’m fine, busy, but fine. you?”
he shrugs, sipping his drink again. “same. tired.”
“ah. get that.”
“yeah. would be nice to go home now.” okay mr small talk come up with something better to keep y/n with you. “you free later?” casual, but the intent is clear.
“i think i’m busy. schedules, remember?”
“yeah. schedules.”
“but i could work something out, if you ask me later.”
“we’ll see.”
he bumps your shoulder with his knuckle that he holds the coffee with, then walks away, other hand in his pocket. now that’s a boy. he doesn’t look back only because he holds himself back from.
and your day goes… bad?? i mean sure bad days happen, but after how good last night was it’s kinda a throw off. the printer in the staff room decides to eat three pages of what you needed on paper, you spend twenty minutes cursing at it, trying to unjam the fucking thing while you’re cramping. not on your period yet, but it will come sooner or later. whatever, happens. you pop two ibuprofen dry and keep moving.
then the a meeting gets pushed back because someone’s flight got delayed. you have to reschedule three other things, call the japan team, and explain to management why the fittings can’t happen until thursday now. one(1) of the stylists is having a meltdown because the new outfits for the next photoshoots for the comeback came in the wrong sizes. you spend forty minutes on the phone with the supplier, sweettalking them into rushing replacements. you almost got invited out to dinner but got them to do something about the clothes without that happening.
then han starts whining about “i can’t eat carbs before practice, y/n, my abs will disappear” while you’re on the phone with some interviewer company. felix loses his phone but you find it under seungmin. minho hasn’t taken his eyes off you for an hour now, which gotta count as harassment.
the whole day is just… shit.
whatever, happens.
at least chan is extra nice and casual to you. you get him water and he gives you a “thanks, y/n. you’re killing it today.” he could give you another round of DICK instead. okay jokes aside he’s doing well with acting casual and professional, respect.
changbin slaps felix’s ass and felix comes to you crying holding his butt. it hurt him. he gets your hand running up and down his back for exactly two seconds before you send him off with a little back pat, he happily goes.
changbin later sits down next to you to talk while you’re writing an email. he’s really fascinated by your email writing skills, he could never.
the night you do get your period though, great, at least that means there was like no condom break or anything for sure, or that’s hyunjin’s baby aborting or whatever. okay, but really, you’re fine.
why does this matter? doesn’t even hurt!
well sure doesn’t even hurt now, when it’s just you and felix in the practice room and he’s in your face.
“ah jisung’s so annoying.” oh so we’re at the bringing other men down to be more appealing to your crush stage. “like he can be funny and he’s a nice guy but he’s so loud.”
“hm, yeah, get you.”
“is he not?”
you can’t make favorites and diss the others, that’s unprofessional. “i don’t know him enough to see what you see, felix.”
he sighs with a sound, he’s so close his breath is on your face then, cold. “ah, y/n.”
he shifts his weight, eyes coming back on yours, then back away.
he’s convinced none of the others wants you like he does. like god look at how fuckable you are, oh how he’d cum aaaaall over your body, really.
at least he smells good this close. but it is kinda… not exactly uncomfortable, but waiting for something type of tension.
“can i… help you with something, boss?”
he smiles, both at the question, and being called boss. that’s hot. he looks away again, biting his lip, then back at you. “there would be something.”
silence…
“if it doesn’t bother you that seungmin might be home.”
god forgive him. he did it. fuck he did it.
your mouth opens on a smile, then you take a breath. “no, it doesn’t bother me.”
felix’s smile is huge, biting his lip on it. “good. you sure?”
“yeah. i’m sure.” you’re so sweet.
“then come over later.”
oh this is nice. “what time?”
“at the end of the day. i’ll… text you.”
“okay.”
his heart drops oh his god he’s actually going to get some play.
“see you then.”
“see you then.” you nod.
and that’s exactly what happens.
hours later, end of the day, cut to felix letting you in, all nice and gentlemanly, trying to be the perfect host even though you both know why you’re here. he’s beautiful, smoothed his hair down though, has the casual boy outfit on, tshirt that’s good material so his nipples don’t poke through, and shorts. he’s such a boy. biiig smile, genuinely happy eyes, such an energy that makes him look innocent.
“hey. thanks for coming. you want anything? water? something to eat?” he says, stepping aside so you can come in.
you shake your head, smiling a little. “i’m good, thank you.”
he nods, sunny, excited, and walks you down the short hallway, we’re guessing you two originally would be going to his room to have this hookup, like with felix this specifically is a hookup, anyways, but seungmin is home, and on the couch.
scrolling on his phone, looks up at the noise. his whole body stops. like actually freezes. his eyes go wide, then narrow because he knows. knows exactly why you’re here. he assumes he’s about to listen to his roommate fuck you, and oh he’s so excited. is imagining what you sound like when you’re really getting it. but he’s more shocked that you’re actually here when yongbok did not fucking mention it.
“uh…” he says, trying to play it cool. he sits up a little straighter. “hey.”
“hey, long day?” you smile.
“yeah… uh. yeah it was.” clears his throat. “you… good?” mind you felix’s brain is screaming at him to bend you over the nearest surface and you’re having small talk with seungmin. it’s a fucking hilarious situation.
“i’m good. take it easy, okay?”
“yeah, okay…”
meanwhile felix is smiling ear to ear and practically vibrating next to you. like put this man on your clit level of vibrating. this is it. he’s finally getting some play. holy shit. his heart is racing, but he’s also… overthinking. he’s a little scared.
“i’ll see you later, boss.” you tell seungmin, so doing the nickname on purpose.
“yeah… see you.” holy shit.
felix only gives seungmin a grunt, then leads you the rest of the way to his room, closing the door behind you, doing everything for you, for now.
alone.
with the felix, mind you. about to engage in a sexual act with him. you feel so lucky, so good about yourself.
he stops in front of you. nervous. excited. overwhelmed.
mostly nervous. he’s trying so hard to be a man about this, but all he communicates with suddenly, let’s consider how good this man does in social situations with other famous people, is “uh”s and “hm”s and shaky breaths. his pretty face is flushed, eyes going from your face to the floor to your lips and back again, his hands tapping his little thighs next to himself. “y/n… i…”
you step closer. you’re just here to help, aren’t you? look up at him with big eyes, voice soft and sweet like always. “i’m here to help. you just have to tell me what to do.”
oh wow.
chan has been getting this service until now? the others??? and he left out on this???
his mouth shakes. his eyes go lower, to your lips, then your tits, then back up, then away again, then back. gets so fully turned on, feels his cock start filling out. “i… uh… i don’t… fuck…”
you put your hands on his pretty face, palms on his cheeks, been a while since somebody did that to him, and kiss him.
just lips pressing to start off with. soft, new. his mouth is so fucking soft. plump, not so moist that they make it look in front of a camera, something he keeps just for his assistant from now on.
he melts so beautifully. like how someone would act it out in a movie, he sighs into it, his muscles lose the tension, his hands come up to your waist, hesitant and not knowing he can touch at first, but he grows the catholic balls and puts them on you, holds onto you by them. his lips part on yours, puts his tongue out a little in hopes of you meeting it, and yeah you do push yours into his mouth.
he moans at that.
he’s a good kisser, though, you guess he had plenty of practice throughout his life. his mouth feels so good, his tongue pulls yours in.
and he can’t believe he’s kissing his assistant. you, someone so responsible for him, is kissing him.
it feels so pornlike to him, the hot, forbidden fantasy of the sweet staff girl finally letting him have her. he’s jerked off to versions of this exact scenario so many times and now it’s real. his assistant’s soft lips on his. her tongue in his mouth. her body is pressed on him. he feels dirty and lucky and so fucking turned on he can barely breathe.
and that you’re below him in the hierarchy yet you’re taking control and he’s the one getting dominated, again, pornlike. erotic.
he’s getting bolder, senses that you let him, tilting his head to kiss you harder, one hand holding your back. a gentle kisser. a loud one too, moans and groans and gasps(all deep) into the kiss lots too.
this is really happening. you’re really kissing him. his assistant is making out with him in his room. it’s the ultimate fantasy. it’s porn in real life. he’s so fucking happy he can barely think straight.
you pull back for a little air, not too far so your lips still brushing, and he chases your mouth with a soft whine.
“y/n, fuck.” he whispers, his eyes half lidded.
“your freckles are cute.” you say softly, almost teasing.
felix registers what he just heard, smiles, shy, boyish, ducking his head a little. he’s just a boy too. “thanks… they’re kinda dumb though.”
you keep your hands on his face, looking up at him. you’re breathtaking. your voice is the kind of voice that makes him always listen. “you know this is all business, right? just… letting you know. there’s no attachment here, i’m helping you because i want to, because you need it, but this isn’t emotional. i’m not your girlfriend. i don’t have any feelings for you. this is just relief for you, i’m doing this for work. i need you to understand that. not that i think you don’t know—”
“yeah! yeah, i know. i get it. yeah. i’m not… i won’t make it weird. i just… i really need this right now.”
“just like i expected you would know. great job, didn’t doubt that for a second.”
he kisses you.
that felt good to hear, so he did what he wanted to do. only right if there’s no emotional aftermath of this(ha). he couldn’t wait another second. the kiss is hungrier now, but he still controls himself. how bad he needs this though.
you let the kiss go on and on. slow then fast then slow again, tongues sliding on each other and meeting and recoiling, lips pressing and smacking, spit swapping. this is more adult than any kiss was ever was with the others.
when you pull back, okay shit you give him last one tiny kiss, then really pull back. he’s so beautiful, and it’s not beautiful like how his face is built up, but how his lips are swollen, eyes glassy and fogged and how they’re looking at you, chest heaving.
you reach down for the end of his shirt, take it off over his head. dear god he’s pretty. such a boy body.
you caress his arm slowly. “sit down.”
he obeys immediately, sitting on the end of the bed, legs spread, looking up at you with those big, pretty, nervous eyes.
you kneel between his legs, hands on his thighs. run them up and down, attentive. looking up at him with your sweetest look.
“i actually paid a lot of attention to you today, felix.” lie, you just say what a man likes to hear. “working so hard. you deserve to feel good. let me help you, okay?”
he nods fast, eyes wide and pretty as he watches you. “o-okay… yeah, yeah…”
you hook your fingers into the waistband of his shorts and start pulling them down. he lifts his hips eagerly to help, he wears gray underwear, that’s adorable! tented with his hard cock, of course.
you run your nails softly over the bulge, up and down, tracing the shape of him through the fabric.
he moans.
“ah, looks good.” you say.
you eye his abs. looking good, he’s sitting in a way that doesn’t quite squish them together but doesn’t exactly stretch them the way it would when he stands. oh, he has freckles on his tummy too.
you lean in and press a soft kiss right above his waistband, right on one of them. okay that was so unprofessional! “these are adorable, you’re so pretty everywhere.” saying it in a way that makes him process it as intimate and not something everyone would say to him without really meaning it.
he whimpers, hands fisting the sheets beside him.
you hook your fingers into his boxers and pull them down slowly. “let’s see what we have here, baby… woooah, there you go. good boy.”
rock hard, you don’t think this is his hardest, though. not big. not like a, micropenis, around between small and average. maybe five inches, nice and pretty, looks straight to you but if you’d take a look at it from the side then it would have a slight upward curve. tiny, really. something someone only notices when eye to eye with it and in love with the man, you’re only checking out one box of those. the tip is a soft pinkish purple, both his skin and his pubes bring out the color of his tip. you put a hand on him to test, foreskin’s easy to pull back and reveal the sensitive head underneath. nice, in general.
“look at you.” you coo, stroking. “so pretty.”
he moans again, head falling back, hips twitching. “that feels good. thanks.”
you try to work something out with his pre while your other hand caresses his thigh. “shh, just relax. i’ve got you. you don’t have to do anything. just let me take care of you. you’ve been working so hard… you deserve this. you deserve to feel good.”
his eyes actually cross. you’re hitting every spot of his with that talk.
you lean in and press a soft, wet little kiss to the tip of his cock, then another, then run your tongue slowly around the head while still stroking him.
he whimpers, then groans, face in your direction to desperately watch you work him.
you take him into your mouth slowly, sucking gently on the head while your hand works the base, take a little spit from where it’s on his cock(which doesn’t particularly taste good, you’d recommend a little better hygiene to him, but it also could be that he hasn’t got any in a while and keeps it clean when has constant sexual life, anyways, not your business, only your actual literal business) and work it down on his base with your hand, listen to him whimpering, moaning, hands fisting the sheets, hips twitching and fucking his tip up into your mouth.
you suck sweet and slow and perfect, making him feel loved and wanted and taken care of. he’s showing his gratitude for it too, panting, moaning softly, one hand going in your hair.
“y/n… that feels… so good…” he whispers.
you pull away, sucking the whole way until you can keep a suction, then keep stroking his cute cock. “thank you, i try.” your smile is so easy.
his cock moves better in your palm now that you have your spit there to help the glide, slipping in your hand, oh you’ve always loved the silky skin texture of genitalia. so sweet that all humans have it, right? especially that you look at famous people like this and know that they have something between their legs just like everyone else has.
you twist your wrist a little at the top, and felix gives you an “ahh…”
you keep the pace slow to make this a really memorable experience, to make him feel something about this. like he’ll be fucking his future bitch and think of his assistant back then type of feel something about this. okay y/n you really make no strings attached difficult for them.
but how could you not when you work like your only purpose on the world is to make his cock feel good. up and down. up and down. sometimes you squeeze a little tighter at the base, sometimes at the top and stay there a bit, sometimes you loosen your grip and let your fingers tease the underside.
felix is a really good sexual partner. not on the mutual pleasing side(like what changbin proved) but he’s a good ego stroker, besides his fame making him seem like an extra person(he’s not) it’s about how much he reacts what you give him. that barely feels as good as chan pounding into you.
his hips twitch and squirm around, and when you give his cockhead extra attention he whimpers. like that specifically always brings whimpering out specifically. there we go, read like the world apple. or like how his cock throbs in your hand, leaking more precum that you spread down his length and make it sound even wetter, that also being a huge tell of how good he feels.
and the best, his face, the way his eyes flutter, the way his mouth stays open, his eyebrows moving, how his jawline looks, how his throat moves.
you love every inch of his cock with your hand. you lean in sometimes and press soft, open mouthed little kisses along his shaft, or even a little kitten lick, but mostly it’s your hand. jerking him off perfectly. the boys didn’t lie about you.
oh shit you even slide back down to cup his balls, rolling them softly before going back to stroking his cock, you really know how to please a man!
and believe it or not, felix feels as lucky for you having him as someone would feel about having him.
“ah, y/n.” he’s longing for you. his thighs are flexing and moving and shifting around you. his abs are clenched, his cute happy trail moving with his stomach and bringing his shape out even better. same about his pubes with his cock, it brings out how his cock is throbbing, the head darker now that you’re working more blood into it, leaking.
everytime you stroke him a little slower he whimpers like he’s in pain, hips trying to chase your hand. he wants.
you don’t only want him to feel for you after this, you want him to feel every single second, you want lee felix to have an amazing, naughty and new fucking sexual experience. you want him to sink into the pleasure, to forget the pressure of having to live like he does, to forget the others and friends and family and just exist in the feeling of your hand on his cock.
you’re worshipping him, his pleasure is the only thing that matters right now, and he can feel it. felix is having the sexual experience you want him to have.
you twist your wrist when you go up, your fingers in a circle and pressing down right under the head, and he moans louder, head falling back, hands fisting the sheets.
“oh god… that— that right there— please…”
you watch his balls draw up tighter, his cock twitching in your grip, his thighs tremble. you lean in and lick a long, slow stripe from his balls to the tip, tasting how he tastes, a lot better now that he turned you on, then go back to stroking him with your hand while your mouth kisses and licks along the side.
your hand glides up and down, twisting, squeezing, teasing, cupping his balls, then starting all over again. you make sure every inch of his cock feels loved. you make sure he feels how much you want him to feel good. you don’t rush, you would never(unless that’s the point like a semi public quickie maybe, eh you’ll get one of the others for that), you just… take care of him.
felix’s body want so much more, his hips start twitching more, chasing your hand, but you pull away to not let him fuck into your fist too fast. you want him to enjoy it. you want him to feel every single second, to get this teasing, to love the teasing.
“y/n… it feels… so good… i can’t… ahh—”
seems like loving the teasing is obvious.
you look up at him, your eyes shining when they look into his, oh you’re breathtaking felix wants to kiss you, and keep stroking him exactly the same way.
this is your job now, this is what you do. it’s not bring coffee and call someone, you make them feel good, you make them feel wanted, you make them forget everything else for a little while. we could say upgraded assistant, but you’re so much more and so much better than an assistant.
and you do it great, felix feels enough from it, from your services. c’mon, most men basically have insecurities about their dicks, it’s only natural, felix is on that side too. lives in the back of every guy’s head no matter how many times he tells himself it doesn’t matter. he’s always been a little self conscious about the size, it’s not impressive enough to him, but you don’t seem bothered by it. like so much that he doesn’t even think you would act like you’re unbothered.
and you really are unbothered. and it can be felt.
look at your hand stroking him slow and sweet, your mouth kissing and licking along his shaft like you genuinely enjoy it, your face in his pubes without a single comment. it’s healing this in him. he feels wanted, he feels enough, he feels like his cock is perfect because you’re treating it like it is.
he even forgets to moan from how much he’s in his head for a second about this, it only comes back when you jerk the tip again.
the ego boost is massive. the relief is even bigger.
you pull away from his cock, lips shiny, and look up at him with that sweet, cheeky assistant look. “how do you want me to make you cum, boss? right now i can offer my mouth, my hands, or my tits—”
“tits.” so fast it’s embarrassing. “tits. please.”
you stop. giggle sweetly. “okay, baby. tits it is.”
so you pull your shirt up and off, letting it drop to the floor. reach behind your back, unhook your bra, and slide it down your arms. your nipples come out hard from the new air and being free and everything that’s happened.
felix’s eyes go wide, mouth falling open. he loves tits. he really fucking loves tits. you can exactly see it by how his cock twitches in front of your face.
with a pathetic little moan, he reaches out, down, and gropes one. squeezes gently at first, then gets into it more, rougher but not on purpose.
you let him. you don’t mind. you run your fingers up and down his forearm, the one attached to the hand that’s fondling you, nails dragging lightly over his skin.
“you can touch. they’re right here for you.” you whisper.
he groans softly, playing with your nipple, eyes fixed on your chest. it’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen, so beautiful and so much of you, so intimate from a woman, that he’s already(already in the sense of like even chan took more time) debating in his head if this is just business. because if it is, he already knows he wants more of this. he wants to bury his face in your tits. he wants to cum on them. he wants to feel them wrapped around his cock every single time he’s stressed, not just tonight when he’s actually doing relatively good on the stress scale. the thought of this being “just helping” is already cracking in his brain, because he wants to keep feeling like this, because he’s a man.
he spends a long time just touching them. squeezing, kneading, playing with your nipples, watching the way your tits move in his hands. he’s breathing hard, cock throbbing untouched between his legs.
you like the way he looks at you, you run your fingers through his hair, down his arm, letting him enjoy himself. you’re so loving, it makes staying unattached harder too.
after a while he pulls back, his beautiful deep voice shaky. “shit… sorry, i got carried away.”
you lean in and kiss his thigh softly, right next to his cock. “don’t be sorry. i like when you touch me. you can touch them as much as you want.”
he swallows hard. you can see him thinking. debating in his head. is this just business? because you said no attachment but he wants you to look at him like that again, to kiss him intimately like that again, he wants to touch you whenever he wants. he wants… more. like… a romantic relationship.
and meanwhile he’s in his head about feelings, you sit back on your heels and start prepping for the titfuck. you two being on arch opposite sides about this is fucking unreal. you were made for this fuckass men, you were made to join the company now and meet them now and for them.
you spit between your tits, as much as you can and it runs down your cleavage, and rub it around with your hands while felix watches, breathing through his open mouth, cock twitching in the air.
“come here.” you say softly.
he scoots forward on the edge of the bed, legs spread wider, cock pointing straight at your chest.
you squeeze your breasts together. “you can fuck them yourself, boss. go ahead.”
he doesn’t need to be told twice.
he leans forward, one hand on your shoulder, other shaking as he guides his cock between your tits. the head pushes through, disappearing completely between your soft, warm tits before reappearing at the top. he groans at the feeling.
“fuck… oh my god…” he whimpers, hips jerking.
you look down at where he’s disappearing, watching the pretty head push up through your cleavage, slick with spit and his pre. it’s mesmerizing. how his cock looks sliding between your tits, how his pubes outline the whole thing, how he thrusts his dancer hips.
you spit again, right on the head as it emerges, and rub it in with your hands, watch it spread naturally as felix keeps fucking your tits. he moans again, and again, more pornographic.
you keep your head down mostly. you want to look at his face the whole time, you really do, but staring up at him constantly would feel awkward after a while. so you alternate. you watch his cock fuck your tits, then glance up at his face, biting your lip, smiling softly at him before looking back down.
everytime you look up he’s looking at where he’s disappearing, eyes shining and wide open, mouth open, completely lost in the sight. when he catches your eye he smiles back or gives a soft hum, separate for his constant moans. he likes it when you look at him. (because it’s intimate.)
you watch him disappear, mostly. you can’t help it, the sight is hypnotic, his cock and the skin of it sliding through the soft flesh, your tits jiggling slightly with every thrust, the sounds of skin on skin.
you spit again, letting a thick string fall from your lips right onto the head as it emerges.
“fuck… that feels so good…” he whispers.
“you feel so good in there, boss, so hard.”
he whimpers at your words, hips moving faster. “they feel reeaaally good.”
you hold your tits tight for him while he fucks them, listen to the sound of his hips slap the underside and sides of your breasts. you spit on him again when it starts to dry, let the warm saliva run down your cleavage so he can keep sliding easily.
your face is so close to his tummy now. you can see every little detail, the shape of his abs, the way they clench and flex with every thrust, you want to lick those abs, the cute happy trail leading down, the freckles across his lower stomach, #needthat. he’s so fucking hot. the way his muscles move under his skin, how his cock looks sliding between your tits, how he breathes loud and moans and groans and expresses how good you make him feel.
you look up at his face again. he’s biting his lip, eyes on your tits, cheeks red, hair falling into his eyes. he looks so pretty like this. so desperate. so lost in how good it feels.
he looks at your eyes and you smile at him, biting your own lip, then look back down at his cock fucking your cleavage.
“y/n, a-ahh…” he chases the feeling, has to drop the rhythm before taking it back up because it’s too much.
you hold them tight for him, sometimes squeezing them around his cock a little more, sometimes letting them relax so he can slide easier. you spit again, letting it drip down onto his cock as it slides through. the extra wetness makes him gasp.
you watch the anatomy of him up close, the way the foreskin slides back and forth as he thrusts, revealing the sensitive head, then covering a part of it again. the slit at the tip is leaking, a clear spot of pre forming every few strokes before it gets smeared between your tits. the veins on the shaft appear and disappear under the thin skin as blood rushes through him. you wish you could see his balls.
you look up at him again. “you’re doing so good.”
he whimpers at your words, mouth left open, eyes crossing. “pleasekeeptalking i love your voice.”
oh. “ah, thank you. you feel really good.”
“ah…”
“and how pretty you look, felix. much more prettier than the public sees.”
he looks down at you at that. that touched his damaged little heart. the eye contact is electric. you’re getting wet yourself.
your pussy is aching, clit basically longing for this man, but this is about him, this is your job, you’re here to make him feel good, to let him enjoy this fantasy he’s clearly had for a while.
“you’re… so fucking perfect.” he whispers.
oh?
you smile up at him, then look back down. “thank you.” you want him to enjoy every second. you want him to remember this. you want him to feel like his cock is the center of your world right now. “you’re so good at this. makes me think about how else you could use these hips.”
he smiles at that, then tilts his head back to focus on fucking your tits faster. faster, but shallower, is his head even here anymore? the one on his neck we mean, the one on his cock is obviously here, you’re face to face with it when you look down from his breathtaking stomach.
“‘m close, i’m close, y/n—“
“go on, boss. let go.”
you guess pushing your tits together harder is the right move here, letting him use them exactly how he needs, and sure enough his thrusts get faster, shorter, obviously not thought about anymore. confirmed, his head is not here.
then he stills. his whole body locks up, back hunching, head falling forward, mouth left open in a little scream, hips pressed forward so the head of his cock is peeking out from between your tits, right at the top of your cleavage, and a spurt of cum hits your chin.
the next hits your neck, then your collarbone, then your tits. it’s… intimate. it’s not much, but it gets between your breasts too, some of it sliding down the curve of you and dripping onto your nipple. his cock twitches with every pulse, the head flaring as he empties himself, little aftershocks making his hips jerk.
when he’s done he’s breathing hard, eyes glassy and half closed and almost fucking crossed, looking down at the mess he made on your chest. it’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. he smiles, bites his lip.
“wooow, felix, good job. you came so much. looks so good. you did so well.”
he whimpers at your words, looking down, clearly loving the praise, and his cock gives one last weak twitch between your breasts.
you smile up at him, drop your breasts. “go get yourself cleaned up, okay? but… do you have something for me?”
he nods quickly. “yeah, yeah, hold on.”
he, obviously body heavier now, reaches over to his bedside table, grabs a few tissues, and hands them to you with shaky hands. “here.” and just when you’re about to get to work on yourself— “i can— i can do it for you. if you want.”
you look at him.
it’s too intimate, way too intimate for what this is supposed to be, too much, you can’t possibly let him do this, you’re digging his poor grave basically because he will get attached after that, he’s a man, he can’t, you can’t let him.
“okay. you can.”
shit.
he, mouth still open, nods and quickly wipes himself, mostly at his softening length and his pubes, quick and a little embarrassed, then throws the used tissue on the bed. average man(c’mon you’d do the same). he grabs his underwear from the floor, pulls it on fast, then turns back to you.
you look so beautiful kneeling between his legs, tits out and covered in his cum.
he sits up straighter, and starts wiping on your tits. it’s so intimate it almost hurts. your skin pulls and jiggles as the tissue drags on it, accidentally grazing your nipples a couple times. he’s gentle, careful, he knows he’s dealing with a woman. then your collarbones, dropping the tissue on the bed, then getting a new one.
you look up at him the whole time he’s doing your chin. he wants to kiss you so bad.
cleaning his own mess off you is almost as good as making it.
this means more to felix than just cleanup, than just sex, even though he really thought it wouldn’t. he wants to keep feeling this wanted, this cared for, this special, because the attention the world gives him is not even close to this special.
he drops the tissue on the bed. “all clean.”
you smile up at him. “thank you.” and reach for your bra, pulling it up over your tits. “can you help me with this?”
“yeah, yeah, of course.”
you turn around, your back is to him, and he hooks the clasp for you, then, holy shit, even smooths the straps over your shoulders.
you pull your shirt back on next while he watches, mind you still sitting there in just his underwear, looking… like a wet little bird because this feels so much more intimate than what he expected.
“thank you. that was… really good. seriously.” he whispers.
you get up on your feet, but he quickly reaches in to help you up, well, with hands on your arms. “you’re welcome, you did good.”
he looks down, bites his lip. “thanks.” he looks so fucking cute like this, just soft and vulnerable and kickable and happy that you let him fuck your tits.
you feel really lucky that you got to do this with him. he’s pretty. he’s sweet. he’s rich. he’s famous. he’s better than you expected.
he puts his hands in his lap. “you’re really nice. like actually nice. not just because it’s your job.”
“i try. i should go now though. you need rest and i have stuff to do.”
he looks up at you, and you can see obvious want for you to stay. his eyes go a little wide, mouth opening like he’s about to ask you to hang out or watch something or just… stay. but he keeps himself in line, he doesn’t want to be a bother, he doesn’t want to be unprofessional.
so he swallows it down and nods, forcing a small smile. “okay… yeah. thank you again. for everything.”
“my pleasure. bye, sleep well.”
“bye.”
when closing his door you pay extra attention to be quiet, in case seungmin went to sleep, he’s so pretty you don’t want to wake him up(yeah that’s the reason you don’t want him to wake up), but he’s still on the couch, exactly where you left him.
he looks up.
you wave to him. “bye.”
he nods. “bye.”
you slip your shoes on at the door and leave the dorm. check your phone.
a missed call from hyunjin.
fuck. if he called to hookup, then you don’t worry about that, with felix rather than hyunjin was the right choice. if not, if he wanted you to do something for him, he’ll say that anyway because god forbid he’ll admit he wants you when the call was 41 minutes ago.
so you ring him. “yeah, hi, what’s up? sorry, didn’t see you called.”
his voice is even more sexual through the phone. “uuh, nothing. i did it myself.”
“hm, glad to hear that. okay then.”
…
you chew on your lip. “you’re sure it wasn’t because…”
“…no, no, i don’t need you tonight.” he does, he’s hyunjin, c’mon he always wants, he just got tired since then and doesn’t want to admit it. and it is late, he needs sleep. at least that’s what he tells himself, because he totally would sleep three hours less for some pussy(some you) but you and him were talking about it today once already and he doesn’t want to be awkward, he thinks his chance for asking for tonight already passed,
“okay then, i’ll go. see you tomorrow.”
“tomorrow.”
“bye.” you say it sweetly.
and he says bye too, but you’re already hanging up by then.
hyunjin takes the phone away from his ear. “…okay.” he stares at his phone by himself, sitting with his legs spread and leaned forward, tongue poking his cheek, his sensitive little ears picking up on changbin’s noise through the apartment. “dude quit FARTING—“
meanwhile seungmin gets up from the couch the second he hears the front door close behind you. walks down the short hallway, knocks on felix’s door, and pushes it open when felix hums back.
felix is sitting on the edge of his bed, just in underwear, hair messy, like you left him but now with this big, stupid, happy grin on his face. he’s been waiting to tell someone.
“bro.” felix says.
seungmin steps inside, closing the door behind him. “so?” and sits on the bed next to felix.
felix laughs, finally, it’s great seeing that on him. “i was so nervous at first, i couldn’t even talk right, and i thought i completely embarrassed myself but then” he leans forward. “she kissed me.”
seungmin’s mouth falls open.
“she did everything. she was super nice about it. told me i just had to tell her what i wanted.”
“and what did you want?”
felix bites his lip, imitates having two breasts and pushing them together, sliding them up and down.
seungmin jumps on the bed.
felix leans forward, laughs and giggles and radiates in seungmin’s face. “it was so fucking good, man. felt so good, warm, soft, wet. she kept looking up at me and smiling while i was sliding between them, she was really nice. i came so fast.” then takes up a whisper. “got it all over her chin and neck and tits.”
“what, no, tell me more.”
felix can barely think of anything else to tell. “i wiped it off her, then did her bra because she asked me.”
“no.”
“yes. and her tits are so soft, man. perfect. it was amazing.”
seungmin, slowly, leans to the side to look at the tissues next to felix on the bed. “those are the—“
“oh—“ felix quickly covers them with the bedsheets.
“oh, ew.”
felix snarls at seungmin. why do men communicate like this?
snarling for them doesn’t mean anything bad though, seungmin still punches felix’s arm lightly. kinda upset that there’s jizz next to him, kinda disgusted of whatever happened on this bed, but so intrigued by the topic. “i heard some of it from the couch. you think she’d let me…?”
“probably. she’s really nice about it. just… helping, you know? like she said it’s just business, i believe her. she’s good at it.” so good that you want to crawl under y/n’s skin, why do you leave that part out, lix? (because he’s still figuring that feeling out, that’s why)
the concept of men living together and being friends is so sweet. like aw they both have balls and live stinky together.
felix and seungmin’s place in particular makes chan wonder how they survive without dying of some mysterious bacteria. you’re lucky you didn’t see the kitchen, the counter is always covered in plates and bowls and empty containers because they look at it and go “eh, it’s clean enough.” the fridge has mysterious tupperware with god knows what growing inside. the floor sometimes has random socks that neither of them claims. the bathroom, don’t even ask. toothpaste splatter on the mirror, towels on the floor, one bar of soap next to the sink that’s been there since they moved in.
the cleanest dorm right now is chan and jeongin’s, obviously it’s because you’re in the picture now and they know women are sensitive about this. so chan’s been making jeongin help keep it decent, who wants to impress you so it’s easy to convince him. before you started getting close it was always a mess, now it’s suspiciously tidy. jeongin still leaves his clothes around but chan picks them up and washes thm.
changbin and hyunjin’s dorm is somewhere in the middle, but changbin is too much of a man(again, look at something messy and think it’s completely clean) and hyunjin just dgaf. then minho and han, their problem is just that they’re lazy. so put down things and steps over it. and the worst is seungmin and felix’s. they don’t see the problem.
well, they don’t see it unless it’s about you. because they want to seem desirable, to make you attracted.
you’re attracted enough though. well, to the situation, at least for sure. you like being sexually desired, especially by pretty, rich men. who could have anyone but keep coming back to you.
on one hand, it feeds your ego. they come to you, that feeds something motherly that all women are born with. that kind of attention from men like them, here comes the other hand, it’s something you probably will want back after this, something you won’t be able to let go of, even though you’re doing the same thing they’re doing, use them for their bodies.
and coming back to the women male biology line, you care about their wellbeing in a platonic, empathetic way, because you’re a woman and women are generally better with feelings, better at reading the room, better at, well, being an assistant too.
side note, men see dirty counters as clean(using their places here as the example) because back when they were cavemen, their only purpose was to hunt. to pay attention to one thing. like, follow the mammoth for a whole day, then kill it, then bring it home, men’s brains lock onto one thing naturally. and women stayed home, then went out and took their lots of kids with them, had to pay attention to each one while also paying attention to which berry to pick but also had to pay attention of where is the animal coming from that can attack them, if that happens then get all the kids and this and that and whatnot, so men’s brains one thing but super successful, women’s brain multiple thing but the success divided between them. that’s why you’re built for this job.
and men like them, they live differently than the men who most people know in their normal, they’re different and harder to deal with, throwoffs, and they have to bottle everything up, so testosterone makes them aggressive, competitive, horny, quick to anger and quick to forget. they suppress everything until it explodes out in the form of sex or violence or ego.
now they can put it out in sex, on you. reproduction drive. it overrides logic the second blood rushes south, that’s only natural, humans want to breed. to spread genes, to feel good, to release the constant pressure of being “on” all the time.
and women are different, and this is about you and how you can feel for them equally, we can copartmentalize better, we can feel empathy even while using a man, we can want their bodies and still feel bad for the scared little boys underneath.
it’s not better or worse, we’re not being sexist here and go into that, it’s just biology and socialization doing their thing.
you’re attracted to their bodies, their voices, the way their muscles move, the way their cocks look and feel, you’re not in love with their personalities, you’re in lust with what they can give you, pleasure, power, validation, and they’re attracted to you the same way, except the constant stress made it easier for some of them for it to explode into love anyway. but the ones who haven’t had you yet, they, definitely don’t see the full you. they see the helpful assistant who also lets them cum.
you’re not as traumatized as they are, so you feel bad for them, see what they had to go through(and there are obviously things you don’t see but assume, things they haven’t told you about and you still feel the empathy that you would feel after hearing those) so you let them use you because you know how badly they need it. women are better with feelings anyway, and you can manage while still enjoying the view.
and the view is fucking great.
you sit in their practice sometimes, pretending to do your work, but really you’re just watching them. notice that han wears it tucked to the left, alright alright, even bouncing a little when he moves during choreography. it’s distracting as fuck!! he’s the reason your eyes are there and not on your work, why you can’t work!(he’s not, you stare because you want to) so you stare at… that a lot.
or chan’s ass, jesus fuck. once he walked past you, gave you a friendly smile(was all in his head about how he fucked you, he likes that) and you turned around to watch his ass while he walked away. you wanted to grab it. you wanted to bite it. you wanted to watch it flex while he fucked you, while he did anything. the man has no right to have an ass like that, chan’s ass will be yours one day.
felix bent over for stretching one day and holy shit, those ass, the way the fabric stretched over his cheeks, the legs and his package’s bulge between them, you almost grabbed yourself. you wanted to drop to your knees right there and bury your face between those cheeks. if he’s into titfucking then that must be on the table too, right??
sometimes you watch minho eat and dear god how his mouth moves, how his jaw works, the way his tongue flicks out to catch a drop, the way his lips wrap around the straw when be drinks something…could you make him suck himself off? ah that would require -2 ribs, doesn’t matter, the fantasy is still nice, you want that jaw under your hands.
changbin when he’s semi hard(which is often when he’s around you, a man can’t exactly shake off a sexual experience just like that), you pay so much attention to their prints, you know the differences so well by now. and the fact that you’ve seen his hard and up close too helps you to tell exactly what’s going on between his legs. god you’re a creep but it’s so attractive that men have things hanging between their legs and it works and blood goes there then not then they pee with it then cum then ah holy shit. men.
seungmin has this habit of poking his tongue into his cheek, oh you want to lick it. like lick his cheek. all over his jaw, in his ear, neck and skinny collarbones to shoulders, down down down until you reach his cock, kid you not you might even lick his legs.
hyunjin smirks at you sometimes and it makes you want to slap him and ride his face at the same time. that evil pretty mouth saying mean things while you sit on it. his mouth is unreal, you want it on every part of yourself, that’s the only time he should open it. that man is his mouth.
jeongin’s whole neck area. you’ve been around it when you were riding him, but that man looks so good. he’s built for women, built for you. to please your eyes with his smile, face shape, body, dick. level of attractive where you ignore that he’s dumb and probably incapable of mature relationships.
they don’t know you think this, of course. they don’t know you know them so well by observation, what you think about them, that you know you could have any of them and they’d say yes in a heartbeat, literally you’d just need to snap your fingers and any would be at your feet. some from feeling(chan, jeongin but he’s unaware, and felix is still just developing it), some from just wanting to fuck you(hyunjin but he likes you as a person too, and the others).
so it’s really just animalistically wanting each other. okay no these men are worse than animals, hyunjin just threw a water bottle across the room because he missed a step, jeongin is laughing at hyunjin but in that mean provoking way, han is play fighting with felix who is slamming into him hard enough that they both almost fall, chan is rolling his eyes at them about to fucking explode from stress, changbin fucking gave up and is standing on the side arms crossed and waiting for the others to fucking finish being pissy little kids, seungmin about the same he’s fed tf up, minho is in front of the mirror and checking himself out but pushes han when han goes up to say something to him.
they’re… violent. that’s what you noticed. not in the “murder someone” way (usually), but they’re no different from most men on earth, no matter how much the company shows that they are.
take how minho just showed han for no reason at all, how they yell, slam doors, punch the air, grab each other so hard and hurt when they’re “playing.” they throw things when they’re annoyed, they bite their lips until they bleed, and what you were face to face with, they fuck like they’re trying to… punish. you? themselves? the world?
yeah because they’re high testo mammals who’ve been trained since they were kids to suppress every natural urge except performing, they can’t fight, they can’t fuck freely, they can’t even rest properly, so all that aggressive, competitive, reproductive energy has nowhere to go. it builds up. it comes out forcefully, in hurting words, in rough touches, in the way they slam into each other during dance practice, testosterone makes them quicker to anger, quicker to physicality, quicker to want to win at everything. evolution made them to compete, to protect, to fuck, to survive, modern fame took all those outlets away and left them with microphones and cameras and having to act cute.
it must be fucking torture.
so you let them, of course. like a good assistant, take the weight off their shoulders.
you’re going to do exactly that now. since you’re in the studio with chan and han, sitting behind them on the couch, on your laptop. they’re at the desk. they’ve been at it for a while.
then chan leans back in his chair, stretches his arms above his head, and looks over at you. “hey.”
you look up. “hi.”
“what did you end up doing for lunch? you disappeared for a bit.” making small talk i see?
you smile softly, you’re such a gentle woman. even han can’t help noticing that when he looks back too. “just grabbed something quick from the cafeteria downstairs. how about you two?”
han sits up a little, resting his chin on his palm. “i had that protein bowl again. it’s boring but it works. my trainer’s been on my ass.”
chan nods, rubbing the back of his neck. it hurts. “i just had whatever was left from yesterday. i made it when i was doing jeongin’s laundry. he left his stuff everywhere again.“
you nod. “he’s lucky you do it for him. does he at least say thank you?”
“sometimes. when he remembers. he’s a good guy, just… scattered.”
jisung pouts. “oh my lizard escaped again last night. i found her behind the couch. spent twenty minutes trying to catch her without stepping on her. minho didn’t even help.”
you tilt your head. “she’s still doing that?”
“yeah. i think she likes being out. or just hates the tank. i don’t know.”
chan has his pointer finger on his chin, just fidgeting. “lizards get bored too.”
“yeah, maybe, i’ll look into it later.”
“look into my shoulders. they hurt.” chan says. “can you two check it out? just for a second.”
you and han exchange a glance, then both get up.
“yeah. come on, hyung. sit up straight.” jisung tells him.
chan stays working on the laptop with one hand while the two of you dig into him. han takes the left side, you take the right.
his muscles are rock hard.
han straight up elbows into chan. “here? or here?”
“mmm, there. right. yeah.”
you press your thumbs down and he hisses through his teeth.
“harder.” he mutters.
so you go harder. han does the same. sometimes you’re both elbow deep in chan, like, in the muscle, you’re elbow deep in the muscle, not… him. you wish. okay anyways, you lean your body weight into him, oh that’s sweet. chan just keeps working, only grunting every now and then when you hit a particularly bad spot. so it’s mostly quiet except for the occasional low “ahh… there” from him. that’s… getting you wet.
you bite your lip. and, well, press deeper, since that’s an assistant’s job, to help. “you really are tight. when’s the last time you stretched properly?”
“been a while.” chan says.
han hums. “by the way, y/n… i.n told me something weird this morning.”
you keep massaging. “hm?”
“yeah. he said he saw your underwear.”
you freeze. “what?”
chan nods. “yeah. he said when you bent down to plug in seungmin’s charger yesterday, your shirt rode up a little and he saw it. he told me too. he was all red about it. kept asking if i thought it was on purpose.”
you stop. “he said that? really?”
“mhm.” han hums. “said he felt bad for looking but couldn’t help it.”
chan nods, still staring at the laptop. “yeah. he asked me if he should apologize. i told him just keep it to himself. didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.”
han watches your pretty face. “black.”
oh that’s horribl— …you wore white yesterday.
oh. they’re just fucking with you.
just… really believable. and don’t mind if by chance you’d actually believe it, saying that about their poor fucking friend is no big deal to them either. they’re boys. but yeah, we already talked about this, they’re that good actors. you wouldn’t even have noticed if han didn’t fuck up with guessing the color wrong. he went with black because that’s the most basic, best chances.
so years of lying with straight faces about everything from diets to people to feelings to opinions, they know how to.
you smile. “you’re lying.”
han acts like he just can’t believe you said that. “no we’re not.”
chan rather doesn’t say anything.
“i…” are you going to talk about your underwear to your bosses? “i didn’t wear black yesterday. and he wasn’t even in the room when i plugged that charger. you two are just messing with me.”
han slaps chan’s shoulder(who gives a little “ow :(“) “yaah, y/n, you caught us already? we were so close!”
chan glances over his shoulder at you. “worth a try. he actually said nothing. we just wanted to see your face.”
you dig your thumbs harder into chan’s shoulder as revenge. “i actually believed you for a second.”
han smiles, it’s beautiful. “yeah, but felix did say your hands are magic. said he’d let you massage his feet any day.”
you slap chan’s shoulder, why does he always get the hit? “i don’t believe you anymore!”
chan nods. “minho told me in confidence that he wants you to read him bedtime stories. said your voice is soothing.”
you dig your elbow harder into him, making him groan. “shut…” quite not formal how you’re talking, no? “up…”
han laughs that rich laugh. “aah, y/n, don’t be like that. but innie did say he thinks you’re pretty. he said it yesterday. and he told me he likes when you wear the black jeans because—”
“stop. you’re still lying.”
chan looks up at you two. “no, he did ask me if you were single once. true story. i told him to mind his business.”
“now that one i almost believe.”
“good, because the next part is that he said he wants to buy you dinner.”
“lie.”
“no, it’s not.” han says, leaning onto chan’s shoulders. “and felix said he dreams about you every night. another lie. or is it?”
“you’re both dead to me.”
chan chuckles. hot. “and hyunjin told me you once muttered idiot under your breath when he asked for a towel. he said he heard it clear as day. keep going, by the way. left side is still tight.”
you stop anyway in shock. “wait… did i?”
han shrugs.
“come on, is that true?”
chan rolls his shoulders to remind you. “we’ll never tell you.”
you dig both thumbs into his muscle. “come on. just this one. lie or not?”
han shrugs, acting all innocent, digging his elbow deeper into chan’s shoulder. “not telling.”
you slap chan’s shoulder, obviously proper enough because he’s your boss still but also hard enough to make him go “oow.” again just longer, and step back, start packing your shit. “i’m done with both of you.”
chan turns in the chair, rubbing his shoulder. “where you going?”
“yeah, where?”
you sling the bag over your shoulder and look back at them. “to suck myself off. where do you think i’m going?”
“what about chan?”
“he’s gonna have to suck it for himself.”
you leave them like that.
god why are you funny? like… how sarcastic you are, it’s hot. humor is sexy. you’re sexy, fuck off why did they have to get an assistant so sexy?!
han licks his lips after you leave, and chan puts a hand over his mouth, fidgeting around. both very aware of how hot you are. then he slaps chan’s back and goes back to work.
you step out into the hallway, close the door after yourself, when you almost walk straight into jeongin.
“y/n!” oh how he smiles. “hey. i was looking for you.”
“hey. what’s up?”
he rubs the back of his neck, a little shy but… clearly determined! “um… i don’t know. just wanted to talk some, i guess.”
you look at him.
he looks at you.
“can i take you out to dinner?”
…oh!
so that one the two weren’t lying about.
you look at him for a while, thinking, how… young he looks, the biiiig eyes, the hopeful little smile, how he’s shifting his weight on his pretty legs.
“…okay. i’m down. but not nowadays. don’t count on today or tomorrow, but yes. we’ll figure out a day. thank you.”
his mouth is in a little o. “really? hah, okay. yeah. just… whenever. thank you.”
you give him a small smile, wave to him and say goodbye formally enough, then go back to your little job. the rest of the day is still here.
why did he invite you out? because the sex was so good that it’s hard to separate it from feeling. he’s not built for that, he’s a boy, so he’ll want to make you a girlfriend-but-really-just-to-always-have-someone-to-fuck thingy.
but if this was true… then you must keep an eye out for the others too during the day. you need to know what was true, and this is your chance to figure it out.
so everytime jeongin walks past you find yourself checking if his eyes drop lower than they should. everytime felix looks at you and away, you wonder if he really said that about you. and…. okay, deep down you know chan and han were just fucking with you, but still. the idea that someone might have seen your underwear. the idea that they want your hands on them so bad. the fact that jeongin wants to take you out to dinner. it crawls under your skin so easily, because more could have been true too.
but the day itself is… nice. hyunjin is a little nicer than usual, as a start. but still, just more than usual. he’s still a bitch, but he said thanks once today.
you know exactly why, he wants to fuck you again, but if that makes him slightly more tolerable, then sure.
and chan is also nicer, but we know why’s that. “thank you, y/n” you’re welcome daddy, it was a pleasure taking your dick. that obviously just changed something between you two. well, it was expected, but still. being the favorite staff member of the leader is a pretty fucking amazing feeling.
when you hand him something he brushes your fingers on purpose and says “appreciate you” or something. now that’s something he just recently picked up.
you’re so crawling the rank up.
pretty proud of yourself for it too.
you talk with seungmin a little during a break. like you sit next to him and ask how he’s feeling, he tells you he’s okay, like a good assistant you ask if he needs something, no he doesn’t, you tell him to stretch more, he says okay mom. smiles too.
han, everytime he walks past you, smiles at you, raises his eyebrows. he’s been getting cozy with you lately, he loosened up a little. so is acting all teasing and then laughs when you glare at him. you have to look away so you don’t smile. professional, always.
felix wants to talk to you. doesn’t have the balls to. smiles and waves at you, though. hi.
jeongin waves at you everytime he sees you, biiig boyish smile, he just looks happy.
changbin acts so sweet when you give him something. total your dad’s nice friend who your dad asked to pick you up energy. oh you just know he’d be an amazing girl dad. who knows, maybe you’d even be down to carry that poor kid for him. wait, what?
minho, when you pass him a towel he holds your gaze and gives a nice nod. jump me zaddy.
but at least it was a tolerable day. long, but okay.
now you’re packing up, it’s late, just you, han, changbin and chan left. you’re stuffing your laptop into your bag, getting your shit, ready to go home and, like, collapse.
“bye, guys. get some rest.” you tell them.
han waves. “bye, y/n. don’t die on the way home.”
changbin looks over at you. “bye. thank you for today.”
chan looks up. “bye.“
you leave them there, and you’re three steps down the corridor when you hear the door open again behind you.
chan catches up. his hand finds your hip, oh, guiding you a little closer to the wall. he looks around once, left, right, making sure no other people are nearby then leans in.
“you free tonight? want to…?” tilts his head, raises his eyebrows. want to fuck. want me to take you home. want me inside you again.
you look at him, those shoulders, the tired little panda eyes, how he’s touching you. “yeah. but i can only offer upper body.”
offer
his expression flinches a tiny bit.
so to you it’s still just sex. still just helping. still transactional.
oh. that… hurts him. he’s past that. he’s been past that since he sunk into you.
he wants you to want him, not just the sex. the fact that you’re still framing it like a service… makes him sad.
manchild.
he swallows. “why only upper body?”
“i’m on my period.”
“i don’t mind that.” he winks.
your pretty brows furrow, oh how he like seeing that. “you mean…?”
as an answer he lifts two fingers and flicks his tongue between them. oh there’s no mistaking that gesture. he’ll eat you out period and all.
oh.
oh shit.
this man wants you to be his woman.
this proves that, because most men would not be down to do that. like for an example hyunjin would say ew if chan told him about this interaction. chan is offering to put his mouth on you while you’re bleeding, he wants you enough.
shit that’s hot.
“c’mon. i could eat you out. make you feel good. you wouldn’t have to do anything. just let me.” he whispers, smiling.
tempting.
but you… look tired. he can see it. you’re leaning against the wall more than standing, now that he’s looking, and he can read these because he can read the kids. he doesn’t want to pressure you.
so he pulls back a little. “actually… you should rest. you look exhausted. go home. sleep.”
and there we go. restraint, care. he would have loved to do it, he’s so turned on by the idea of eating you out, and doing it while you’re bleeding would maybe make you a little attached to him and impressed by him he thinks, but he forces himself to put your tiredness first.
you nod, a little breathless, a little thrown. “okay. thank you.”
he pats your hip and steps back, gives you one last long look, signaling that he so would be down for it, then waves, turns and walks back toward the boys.
god, it was a good idea though. but he’s right, you’re tired. you’ll go home, now.
chan walks back into the room looking a little frustrated. drops into his chair, runs a hand through his hair, and… “i asked y/n if she wanted to have sex again tonight. she wasn’t really down for it. i… need her though. she’s so pretty when she’s under me. cute too. i really wanted it.”
han sits up straighter, eyes big. “you asked her just now? in the hallway?”
“yeah.” chan leans back, staring at the ceiling. “she looked tired. i told her to go rest. but man… i need it. her body is insane. i keep thinking about the last time.”
changbin hums, nods. “next time for sure, man.”
chan huffs, leans forward. “she’s on her period, i told her i didn’t mind, even offered to eat her out, but she didn’t look thrilled by it. what did i do wrong?” that was supposed to be… private, chan. she told you because she trusted you with that information. but it’s okay, miscommunication happens!
let’s just hope you don’t find out he told them that, you’ll get sick of him then real fast.
“nothing!” there goes han into his defending a point mode. “you did all you could!” then he thinks about how dope period sex is. “…you should’ve pushed a little. maybe.”
“next time don’t let her go that easily.” changbin tells him.
chan sighs, staring at the two. “yeah. i know, okay.”
then han looks at changbin, and bin gives a tiny nod.
so han clears his throat. “actually… we wanted to ask you something.”
and what did they ask?
jisung and changbin want to have sex with you too.
and they’re both too scared to ask on their own. “but you already sucked changbin off once—“ but that’s different! actual fucking is a big thing compared to that.
but they’ve seen how chill you are with chan, so their idea is that maybe chan could initiate something. get you in a room with all three of them. start things himself. and then… the other two join. a foursome. all three of them on you at the same time. everything. and they don’t want to pressure you, they just want chan to open the door so they can walk through it.
chan’s more than down.
how could he not be? you in the middle of the three of them, overwhelmed, moaning, taking them one after another or all at once. it turns him on so much.
but… what if you like one of them better than him? what if they’re good and it makes you forget the way chan makes you feel? what if there will be a point he’s not the favorite anymore?
but he loves these boys. and he already knows it’s inevitable that sooner or later the two are going to end up in your bed with or without him, better it happens with him there the first time. better he gets to watch, better he gets to be part of it.
“alright. i’ll figure something out.”
there we go.
yeah, chan is a tad bit too traumatized and attached to go through this without any feeling like the two expect him to be. well by attachment we don’t mean love, so he’s not in love but really is attached. and because he’s attached, he needs you.
needs you as a person.
sex with you is amazing, but oh how he’d like to pour his heart out to you too.
but where are the others about you?
maybe it’s the wisest to start with felix because felix is cooked. well, not ruined yet, but it will obviously get worse as time will go on. since he had you, every night since, he’s been locked in his room with headphones on, scrolling through “girlfriend lets me fuck her tits.” porn and jerking off and then gets the most unbearable religious guilt from it.
yeah the big catholic but also is selfish and sees you as a pair of perfect tits that happen to talk. religion makes him feel better about how hurt he is, and also about what he does with you now. it also makes him feel worse. nauseous, his chest hurts.
he starts resenting the others for existing near you. looks at them disgustingly when he sees them interacting with you, and on top of that to make him even more irritated, he keeps getting hard at the worst times. at practice, talking with a friend, in the shower, because you’re in his dumb mind.
he’s getting more and more desperate for having sex again, no animal(and humans are animals) can resist the instinct of pleasure, no matter that the most evolved ones made a god and judgement up, everything will want to participate in the act of reproduction. (if we don’t count the sexualities or disabilities in that make that different, of course, which is totally normal and okay and natural to have :) )
it makes him restless. he keeps thinking about asking you for a second round, maybe longer this time, maybe ask you for other things because you communicate so good, but he’s also scared that if he asks too soon you’ll say no. but if you say no, he’ll just wait until you’re tired enough to say yes.
deep down he’s lonely. makes things up in his head to live. that comes out like this, or other ways.
then hyunjin. hyunjin thinks about you constantly, that’s only natural because you’re such a big thing in his life right now and a huge change, and he thinks it’s just good sex, that you’re down like any fan would be, but c’mon, repeated exposure to you will easily indicate a whole crush.
and hyunjin is already a sensitive little soul, one wrong word and he’s wrong for days, so being in love again will change his days. make him more easy to get irritated, and that the boys will notice.
is he aware that he’s this easy for you specifically? no, not really. what he knows is that he wants you on your knees again, wants to hear you moan his name, wants to leave marks so the others know, but… it would be nice if you stayed after, maybe for a movie. that you two could fuck again during. or a bath to clean up. fuck again?
each of these go back to sex in his imagination, but the root of them is always you staying a little more with him.
and jeongin. jeongin’s really into this current situation, really into the fantasy of assistant lets boss fuck her. plus accepting the dinner invitation enabled him, his dumb little brain took that as green light for everything.
he’s inexperienced and a little religious guilt ridden and so eager. the sex was already great, now the idea that you might sit across from him at a real table, just the two of you, makes him have to jump out his skin from excitement. (but he’s also scared he’ll say something stupid and ruin it. but that’s only natural to worry before dates. well, date to him, because jeongin wants it to be a date, wants to show you he wants to buy you food and other things with his lots of money that you must be so attracted to. like yes you need to see how manly he is and how big his biceps are and how much he’d do for you. aka, to treat you like a girlfriend. would you want to be his girlfriend? he thinks that’s a nice thought.) (he should also fuck off and go back to work)
to take you out, buy you food, make you laugh, then maybe get to touch you again after. he’s already imagining holding your hand. he’s already imagining telling the others “she’s coming to dinner with me.”
he’s just… too much, too fast, has no understanding of how heavy this is for everyone else. focuses on himself only. he wants your time, your attention, your body, and he doesn’t understand why that might be a problem.
han just really wants pussy. for now. he’s watched the others get pieces of you and now he’s hungry, they got his appetite up. he wants to feel you around him, he wants to hear the sounds you make when someone is inside you, he wants the physical release and the ego boost of knowing the girl everyone else is obsessed with let him in too. the fomo is eating him alive.
he doesn’t care about your mood for it or your period or your tiredness or your boundaries unless they get in the way of him getting what he wants.
seungmin. seungmin thinks about you during the day more than he admits. when he does a good move in practice he looks for your face in the mirror. when he gets a compliment he wonders if you heard it. he wants someone else’s approval, someone who isn’t paid to hype him up, and you’ve become that someone without even trying. he wants you to see him do well. he wants you to notice him as a person.
he wants to fuck you, yes, but under the lust, just like for every man, is this need for someone to see him do well and say “good.” he’s deeply insecure and you would help out so much.
changbin about you, he obviously deep down appreciates that you sucked him off, everytime he sees you he feels a pull, the wish to be close, to be held, to be allowed to need someone, to have sex. the fact that you went and put him first. without asking for anything back, mind you. he’s grateful and attracted to you. this later will result in him being needy, though, and if chan does make that foursome work, that’s only going to make it worse.
minho just wants to fuck. he looks at you and his body reacts. he wants to put you on his cock and watch your face while he moves. he wants the physical release and the power of it that he so much likes in sex. so he sees you, he wants to be inside you, end of story.
already let the others in, so why not him.
so, which he knows how to do(and every human naturally does even if not aware of it), is sex. get inside you, use you, finish, leave. that’s what he wants now.
they want your body, your attention, your calm, your holes, your approval, and they want it on their terms.
that’s also shown by what the two just asked chan. he sits with it for a while after jisung and changbin leave him alone with the idea.
you offered him upper body. he wants to give them more than just your mouth. sucking three of them at the same time sounds hot as fuck, the pure fantasy of you on your knees with all of them around you, taking turns, watching each other, they’re all into it. of course they are.
chan wants his boys to actually fuck you, he wants them to feel what he felt, the heat, the squeeze, how you look when someone’s inside you, he wants to watch, he wants to be part of it, problem is, you’re on your period. turning him down like that means you’re not down for full sex while you’re bleeding. so three of them at once? yeah, no. he’d be an asshole to even float that right now.
so he starts thinking, when did it start? he doesn’t know. you didn’t say. and he can’t just walk up and ask “hey, when does your period end?” without sounding like a complete creep.
so he has to guess. a week feels safe. most cycles he’s vaguely aware of last about that long. but what if yours is longer? what if it’s shorter and he waits too long and misses the window? what if you’re one of those girls who spots for days after?(not like he’d mind) he has no fucking idea and no way to find out without making it weird.
then felix opens his big fucking mouth. a couple days later, he tells the others about what you did for him, every tiny little detail, and chan, while as happy for him as the others also are, realizes that you let felix do that while you were (probably) still on your period. upper body only. same rule you gave him. so the timing lines up. that day with felix was likely still during your cycle.
which means if he waits a full week from the night he asked you in the hallway, he should be in the clear.
he settles on it. one week. one week, then he’ll try.
would be easier if han and changbin weren’t on his dick about it the entire fuckig week.
“hyung, did you ask her yet?”
“it’s been four days.”
“five days.”
“you said a week, it’s almost a week.”
“so? you ask her yet?”
“we’re ready whenever.”
“i jerked off thinking about it last night. when are you doing it?”
“if you’re going to ask, maybe soon?”
chan kept telling them to shut up and wait. they didn’t. they texted him at night. they found him in the hallway. they made little jokes in front of the others that only the three of them understood. by day six chan was ready to kill both of them. by day seven he was done waiting.
the plan is simple. tonight he asks you to hang out with him, han and changbin at han’s place. he tells you minho won’t be there (he doesn’t tell you han sent minho to sleep over at a friend’s). and he double checks that you can do actual sex this time. if you say yes to that, then the door is open.
end of the day. most of the people are gone. you’re packing your things when chan walks up to you.
“y/n. you free tonight? me, jisung and changbin are hanging out at jisung’s. lee know’s not gonna be there. you wanna come?”
you think for a bit. what could this be about? “sure. i can come for a bit.”
chan nods lifts his head to look around, chewing on the inside of his mouth before looking back at you. “okay. and maybe after that… if you’re down… we could… you know.” he tilts his head. have sex again.
“yeah. i’m down.”
his shoulders loosen, so good so far. “you good for… everything this time?“
you know what he’s asking. “yeah. everything’s fine now.”
that’s all he needs. he’s clear.
“alright. we’ll see you tonight then. i’ll… text you.”
“okay, bye.” you’re so sweet even while you say goodbye so proper and respectful and yes god he’s going to fuck tonight!!
you arrive a little after nine. han opens the door looking so fucking good, all comfy and homey, fresh, obviously took a shower not too long ago.
“y/n! hey, come in.” he says and steps aside, smiling ear to ear.
while you take your little shoes off, he watches you, the top of your pretty head, his mind so full of what he’s gonna do to you.
from the little living room at the same time: “hi, y/n!” “hey.” bin and chan, of course.
you call back a soft “hey” while jisung waits patiently for you to finish with your shoes. once you’re done he starts with the “kitchen’s right here, tell me if you want anything.” he opens the fridge door for a second so you can see in, average men fridge with a few things in it that he and minho live off, then closes it, walking you away. “my room’s this one.” he pushes the door open just enough for you to glance inside, small, clean kinda, bed made, literally what we see in his lives and videos. “that’s richard. hi.” closes the door. “and that’s minho’s room.” he nods at the closed door across the hall.
“where is he tonight?”
“at a friend’s. he won’t be back till tomorrow. bathroom’s here if you need it, living room’s where the others are. that’s pretty much it.”
“ah. cute.” pretty similar to what the others have, of course.
he’s an angel of a host. the whole time he gives off such a fucking good aura, making sure you feel welcome. he offers you water, juice, soda, “seriously, whatever you want. i can make it real quick.” (fun fact these men would totally drug you if it ever crossed their minds and they thought they could get away with it. it’s not in the plan tonight, but still, worth to mention)
“come on.” he says, tilting his head toward the living room. “they’re waiting.”
chan is on the couch, changbin sitting in front of him. both look up when you walk in, and the air in the room changes. because both know why you’re here.
“sit. get comfortable.”
you do, you sit next to chan, you know him the best anyway, and han sits down next to changbin. he really wants to sit on your other side, but this is chan’s job now to get things started.
“so… what’s up?” you ask. “what’s the occasion? you three just randomly decided to invite me over, didn’t… expect this.”
han so tries to play it cool. “what, we can’t just want to hang out with you?” doesn’t succeed.
chan watches you, god, he’s beautiful. such boyfie(incapable of healthy romantic relationships)“yeah. no big reason. just felt like chilling.”
changbin nods. “yeah, you’re nice company.”
“aw, thank you.”
han leans back, seemingly comfortable because it’s his place, kinda. “we like that you let us… do more than ask for water.”
you laugh quietly, a little embarrassed by the sudden compliments and at what he was hinting at. “i’m just doing my job. it’s nothing special.”
“ah, but really y/n, thank you.”
you smile at them. “don’t be silly. it’s nothing. well… thanks. i like hanging out with you guys too.”
and they do like hanging out with you, they’re just using this occasion for something else now.
chan looks around. “this is peaceful.” is just trying to make a conversation about something. “at my place innie is screaming at his screen every night. he’s been driving me crazy.”
ooh, red flag. you’ll remember this. “he gets that into it?”
“too into it. and he leaves his things around. i almost broke my ankle yesterday.”
han shrugs. “minho is the opposite. i like living with him. but he leaves cups in the sink until they smell like death, i told him three times this week, he just goes ‘mhm’ and walks away.” he looks at you. “i cleaned them up this time too.” i did something for a space where you’re in to make it comfier, notice and appreciate me.
changbin pokes his mouth to the side a little, it’s cute(you had his dick in your mouth). “hyunjin’s quiet. but god we went to his parents’ place for dinner last week and his little dog would not leave us alone. every time we sat down it jumped into our crotches.”
you raise your eyebrows. “on purpose?”
“on purpose.” chan says. “i moved three times. it followed. annoying little rat. he should throw it to a cat or something.”
changbin actually looks mad over this little guinea pig(still a fucking dog). “the little fucker was shaking and growling at nothing.“
“hate that dog, man. it’s cute or whatever but bad.”
han shrugs. “i like kkami.”
“because he didn’t molest you.”
“okay, shit.” han puts his hands up.
you snort.
changbin smiles at chan. “would you rather live with that dog or jeongin?”
chan sighs like it’s such a hard decision. “the dog.” jeongin, obviously, he just wants to make you laugh. succeeds. “jeongin leaves wet towels on the couch. i hate it, i’ve started throwing them at his head when he does it. he just laughs and says sorry, then does it again the next day. and walks around naked.” he rolls his eyes.
you remember when jeongin came out in underwear only when you were over. “like actually naked or—“
“no clothes, y/n. no clothes.”
oh, so you got lucky back then.
“oh.”
changbin folds his chewable arms. “hyunjin keeps his towels in his room, but always sings in the shower. it’s annoying.”
“minho doesn’t sing, he just stands there under the water for like forty minutes. what is he even doing in there?”
chan bites his lip, makes a wanking gesture in front of his crotch. the boys laugh, you put a hand in front of your smiling mouth. they want to make a good impression to you, to seem like funny and open guys. even if that means exposing their friends. just a selfish thing to do.
it takes a little more of talking for you to get comfortable. they wait it out patiently, for the air to loosen. so they tell their little stories, gossip.
chan puts his arm around your shoulders pulling you a little closer into his side, acts all casual about it too. “i’m this close to moving out.” puts his fingers in front of your face.
“sounds like minho but younger.” you’re worse than minho, jisung.
“i’m fine with hyunjin.”
chan’s thumb strokes your upper arm. oh? “you handle him so well though. he listens to you. he never listens to me.”
you try to stay humble, you really do. “oh. he’s not that hard, he’s nice to me, but obviously because i’m not his friend.”
chan nods, puckering his big lips. “mm. and how was he when you fucked him?”
…
in front of han and changbin, mind you.
you freeze, cheeks heating up. you don’t want to let much out. this is private. this is jeongin’s business too. it would feel really exposing, so it’s wrong. a shitty thing to do to someone. plus you’re a little shy. talking about sex in front of an audience is different from doing it.
you open your mouth, then close it again. “i… i don’t know if i should—”
“don’t be shy.” han coos.
“it’s okay, we already know anyway.” changbin says so gently, like he’s talking to a little kid.
chan’s arm tightens around you a little. “yeah. no need to be shy with us.”
you look down on your hands.
chan leans into the side of your face, looking down on it. “want me to loosen you up a little first?”
you look up at the other two, and both of them are watching. shit.
chan notices. “they don’t mind. they’re here for that.”
oh.
oh fucking hell you walked straight into it.
chan leans in and kisses you.
author’s note: i didn’t want to cliffhanger now but had to bc no space :( also the “women and men are made for each other” line does not have any homophobic intention behind it, love is love guys i was just talking biologically there, in case someone didn’t get it. btw idk if tagging the other two parts did something but felt like it??
I swear I’m so obsessed with Hyunjin’s character in the dear y/n series. Do you have any more like in depth thoughts on his character? I’m so interested in his sad little head. And his art like is he drawing y/n. I feel like he’d so accidentally (not) incorporate blood from a kill into a drunk midnight painting UGH
oooh absolutely, threw something short for u together, abt 2k words. if anyone will read this when we’re later into the series and reader’s together with hyunjin, then disclaimer this was written before that happened. warnings, this poor man’s mental health(that’s gonna get better once u two get together dw), mentions of jerking off and murder kinda in detail w the gore, throwing up, self harm, angsty, everything else u expect from my writing.
first to have the visualization of the state he’s in, half a bottle of jack deep, hair messy and eyes bloodshot, staring ahead of himself. hyunjin knows he’s not doing well but he can’t stop. the crush is unbearable. it’s making him sick. literally. he pukes sometimes just from thinking about how happy you are with the others. jealousy.
about his art, he doesn’t mean to put you on paper constantly but that’s just what comes out of his skilled hands. you. because what’s in his mind comes out there, he draws you constantly, paints, charcoal and blood and ink, sometimes regular pencil isn’t enough for how he sees you.
he’ll draw you for hours, tongue between his teeth, cigarette burning down to the filter while he shades the curve of your ass or the way your lips part. he knows that pretty well, he knew you longer than the others did, didn’t he?
so it’s just unfair.
sometimes he jerks off to the drawings then after feels so… deflated because it’s not you, it’s just paper and he’s so fucking pathetic.
(the drawings or paintings or whatevers can look like you covered in someone else’s blood, you riding seungmin’s face (he guessed the details and got them weirdly accurate) but also can look like stick figure tiny hyunjin hanging from a noose made of his own intestines while cute little stick figure you are on a walk with binnie)
where’s his fucking head at?? where his body is, most likely.
like. once he went out to your balcony for a smoke to “clear his head” stood there smoking, pretty eyes not really there in the moment, and kept pressing the lit end of the cig into the tip of his pointer finger. like, on purpose. sizzle, flinch, then again. until the skin blistered and had ash on it and jeongin walked out(for a cig too because you keep shouting at him for smoking inside, he doesn’t even get what’s your problem), yanked the cig away and smoked it himself. it was, kind of, to take it away from hyune. they’re attached to each other, after all. hyunjin… smiled, dreamy, watched jeongin smoke.
this was to lead up the self harm part of this. he enjoys it, to be honest. it’s a perfect outlet for everything new he has to deal with inside of his body. once he punched a wall so hard he cracked a knuckle because when someone asked changbin in the gc what’s up he sent a pic of you two cuddling. he sat there cradling his bleeding hand. that’s actually a beautiful picture, just sad.
he’ll stare at himself in the mirror for hours too, shirtless(important detail, helps him with the feelings and accepting himself as he is, how everything changes in him) pretty face all twisted up, not understanding that why is he not enough? he’s deep. he’s unique. he’s fucking beautiful. why not him?
the others… well, don’t exactly feel bad, they’re not really capable of such emotion yet, but they can feel that this is their… okay, shit, let’s say friend going through this. that affects something in them, kinda, even though they’re still learning that too. learning just like he is. jeongin sometimes calls him when he remembers that hyunjin exists. felix will offer him a “comfort finger” from his latest kill. shit like these, they try in their own ways, but hyunjin just waves them off, curls up on the couch with maybe one clothing of yours pressed to his face, and keeps being by himself.
han, fucking han jisung once had to tackle hyunjin off a rooftop because hyunjin decided the best way to process you smiling at chan was to “become one with the void” by jumping??? han was cute though, wrapped his arms around hyunjin’s waist and they both crashed into a fire escape, going on about “don’t die hyune!! she might date you someday!! i believe in you!!” while hyunjin was coughing blood and saying “dudeee”
or the night he picked a fight with seungmin(we know how his impulse control is) when seung was already in a mood, so hyunjin kept verbally throwing shit at him until seungmin started hitting him. hyunjin took every hit like it was foreplay, laughing, spitting blood, telling seungmin “harder, make me feel something she hasn’t given me yet.” chan and minho had to pull seungmin off him before he actually killed the pretty boy.
but you took care of his beaten up face later. the eyes he looked at you with while you did that, god.
suicidal flirting with death. he doesn’t want to actually die, he’s too in love with the idea of suffering beautifully for you, but he’ll walk straight into situations that could easily kill him just to feel something exciting enough to match the hurt in his chest. he wants the drama of almost dying, the romance of being saved, the rush of feeling something big enough to cut through the numb fog you put him in.
one time he genuinely got shot in the shoulder and just laughed the whole way to the emergency room because “the pain felt like y/n ignoring me. ah, man.”
changbin has the patience of a saint. he will come home and find hyunjin passed out on the couch with a fresh bottle tipped over on the rug and a new drawing of you next to him. changbin usually sighs, cleans up the mess, patches hyunjin up if he’s bleeding, then gently shakes him awake. “you gotta stop this, man.” hyunjin, smiling loopy and drunk hyunjin, has heard those words hundreds of times now.
chan threatens to beat his ass if he pulls another stunt.
obviously. chan has had to drag him out of more alleys than he cares to admit. and god, they care about each other, just not in the way normal people do. but still.
and everytime you walk past him, maybe smiling at han(that useless dickhead) or letting seungmin slap your ass, hyunjin just stands there frozen, flawless little eyes wstching every move of yours. maybe one day you’ll finally turn around and see the mess you made of him. but you never do.
his days… bleed together. he wakes up late with a hangover that could kill a horse, hair sticking up in every direction, and the first thing he does is check his phone, hoping of any mention of you. either in the group chat, or god give you texted him, anything that feeds his obsession, addiction what he gets the dose of, makes him happier.
after “breakfast”(changbin throws something together for him when he’s not… when he’s not sleeping over at yours, fuck) hyunjin sits at the table and works on client projects. interior design, as we know. work keeps him better. clients love him.
he writes, draws, obsessively. then he crosses most of it out so hard the paper tears, then starts again, drawing something different.
he kills, of course. but even his murders have become about you. he used to kill cleanly, artistically, now every victim gets some version of you. either talked about or your initial carved into them, you come out on his actions.
then every single night he falls asleep (when he does sleep) with your name from his hands and your face behind his eyelids.
there’s not a single week that goes by without changbin wrapping his thick arms around hyunjin’s… ridiculously long torso, lifting him a couple inches off the ground, and just rocking him side to side. hyunjin usually goes limp, lets his head drop onto changbin’s shoulder, and lets him. feels okay, he guesses.
because changbin feels some instinct for hyunjin, after all, but he feels for you more, so he’ll give more attention to his girlfriend than his friends. so hyunjin gets changbin’s care like this, instinctive, because changbin is just so busy with you, which is only natural, he’s in love too!
hyunjin has to gag when he thinks about it.
because before you he had nothing, basically.
and he doesn’t hate the others or anything because they have you, sure it irritates him, but even at han sleeping on you he looks at and thinks “look how fucking happy he is.” and hyunjin wants to be happy too, but wants you to make him happy. he’s jealous, he likes han, but he wishes it was him.
it could be too, right? or you hate him because he’s the reason they almost killed you? you hate only him and love the others and don’t tell him secretly? is that true? (no, not true at all, you like hyunjin too just reasonably more focused on your boyfriends, but hyunjin just sees that he doesn’t get the same attention)
so it could be him too, he just thinks you don’t like him that much, that four is enough for you already(why would it be when he sees you flirt with jeongin and minho all the time??), that you don’t need another one, he shouldn’t be greedy. except his heart doesn’t give a shit what his brain thinks.
so he’s not angry at them, he’s angry at himself, but he doesn’t exactly know that.
he also accidentally on purpose tortures himself. like, he volunteers to go to the shop to get something while everyone else stays in with you. he tells himself he likes being alone like this, but no, he really just, one, can’t bear to look at you longer, two, likes feeling bad. he does this to himself.
and because he’s emotionally repressed, the feelings don’t come out as crying, they come out physically. headaches. can’t sleep. forgetting meals. drinking too much. working until he’s exhausted. staring at the ceiling until four in the morning. drawing because his hands need to move and they need to move fast, that’s why painting isn’t enough anymore, and you’d always come out on the paper. he didn’t like that for a while, then accepted that it’ll always be and gave in to drawing you. (he hides his sketchbook under loose floorboards which is silly because literally nobody is looking for it. except maybe minho. minho absolutely looks like someone who would accidentally discover hidden floorboards while searching for a spoon. but you would also love to see what he’s got in that little sketchbook, too bad he’ll always be too shy to show you)
loving you is the easiest thing that ever accidentally happened to him. but looks like he’s not the only one, and look where that got him, no room for him anymore. (you’d absolutely make room for him) anytime he looks at you, someone’s already there.
and you still invite hyunjin there, but he waves it off gently. he does this to himself in his sadness. has no idea you’d absolutely make time for him if you had any, that if he came and tried, you’d let him in, let him be someone to you besides your first just the pretty guy who got you into this.
you like him back, in some way, he just can’t see it. because he arrived late to the worst feeling he’d ever experienced. and you talk to him, tell him to be safe, and he thinks about those so much too, did you smile more than usual? less? were you tired? did he answer weird? should he have said something else? was “yeah” too short? was “thanks” better? it was better, so he’s pathetic and unlovable because he’s a serial killer. of course.
he looks at the others, sees them struggling too, but he thinks they all do so much better than him. he watches them and thinks “why am i the one who’s failing at this?” why is he the only one stuck here when han can cry and fuck his feelings out, seungmin yells it out at the others, jeongin flirts with you and tries, felix… does whatever the fuck felix is doing, chan takes care of you so good that you see him, changbin talks about it, eventually, and minho relieves the torture by interacting with you?
and hyunjin just… carries it. doesn’t put it out with anything, doesn’t make it better, only worse. his head doesn’t get him anywhere. love, as a new thing, has nowhere to escape except deeper inside him.
he’d rather get stabbed! and that doesn’t come either, all that does is the stab of you. something that you don’t even mean, it just tortures hyunjin’s newborn feelings anyway.
his sketchbooks get… concerning. not in the drawing gore sense, that would almost be healthier, but instead that’s the only thing that the love can leak out on, in some ways. drawing is one answer.
another would be confessing to you and seeing that you’re not against it, but where does he have the balls to do that. he can fondle his own day and night and jerk off and draw and lie on the floor but none of those help him get close to the, to be fair inevitable goal, get in your harem.
only if the others would back up a little. give him some space to try too. but why would he stop you from making them happy, how could he do that, hyunjin doesn’t want to damage you more. he just wants to love you, but doesn’t think he fits in the picture. all of the others do he thinks, but he’ll erase himself before he even sketches the outline.
and how would the others help when they can’t help their own feelings either? there’s simply no time to take care of hyunjin.
and you would. only if he gave you a sign, only if he asked for help or a kiss.
but he never does. he’s ashamed.
he’s full of flaws. such a mess. but you’re gonna love every second and inch of it when you finally let him in.
shit this got depressive. anyways wrote this real quick then got back to all done next part, i promise i’m doing it. love<3
Question!! Can we get serial killer skz headcanons? Idk what that means but tbh the fan fic was so good it should be saved into a museum ><
DEAR Y/N: HEADCANONS!!
contents: headcanons from the dear y/n universe(which i assume u meant by saying THE fan fic, this ask was sent a long time ago like maybe when the first part came out >⩊<), a little bit of everything so all warnings that have been on the dear y/n parts so far are playing here, take all of those in mind plus underage virginity loss mentioned, and these are not tied to a specific timeline in the fic so wherever you are in the fic there will be boyfriend headcanons of all boys.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ chan NEVER loses a staring contest. like, obviously because people get uncomfortable after a while, but what about the other boys who, as we know, don’t get uncomfortable that easily? well once jeongin said “watch this.” twenty three minutes later: “alright man this isn’t even funny anymore.” and chan blinked for the first time.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ seungmin is in his head lots, actually. doesn’t even notice when in an environment where he doesn’t have to act(so like around you or the boys), he’ll be left by himself and randomly mutter “yeah well fuck you too.” just into the air. you love him the same for it.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ minho is ALWAYS aware of where everyone is. like ask him where felix is(felix is used as the example because he’s unpredictable) and minho knows.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ jeongin has tried flirting with all seven of the boys “just to see.” the results, han giggled, chan ignored him, seungmin threatened him, changbin patted his shoulder and left him there, minho stared until jeongin backed off, felix said yes, hyunjin told him to shut the fuck up.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ hyunjin never felt protective before you, only once, over a kitten he found on the street.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ if annoyed enough, chan could absolutely carry all of them at the same time. if the situation gives it!! he doesn’t know this, the others do.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ once han felt maternal for hyunjin sleeping so he pet hyunjin and hyunjin woke up and fast as lightning bit han’s arm. han screamed.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ han also has rich laugh in this universe, just like in our real one.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ when your only boyfriends were chan, changbin, seungmin and han(writing this currently as they’re the only boyfriends but fuck knows when will anyone read this, could be by the time the series is finished), you kissed all of them goodbye, like had them in a kinda line, and felix stood at the end of it, trying to sneak in. didn’t get a kiss, just seungmin jumping at him and strangling him while hyunjin was slapping his knee laughing :(
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ minho has appeared behind people so many times that nobody even screams anymore, it’s just “hey minho.” “hello.” now.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ seungmin hated cuddling before you.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ he’s also terrifyingly jealous of strangers who you interact with.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ hyunjin’s sad little head tells him weird things to do, once he slept on the floor next to the empty couch. he doesn’t second guess what his gut tells him to do.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ anyone who gets into changbin’s car trusts him with their fucking life and they’re so right for it. that man drives so good.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ now that we’re at driving, when seungmin is alone in the car, he talks back to the gps, he entertains himself so good, he’s just a boy :( “turn left.” “shut the fuck up.” he says as he turns left. “recalculating.”“yeah, recalculate these nuts.”
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ minho sleeps so still, flat on his back and all, that felix checked for a pulse once. minho opened one eye, felix shouted in fear.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ minho also once got scared in his life and it was when he scared himself in the mirror.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ han’s favorite shape is a circle.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ changbin watches you do the fucking less, shit like put your glass down while you’re manspreading like a fucking pig and with the proudest smile on his face he thinks “god she’s unbelievable.” changbin loves his girfriend.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ hyunjin always has enough cash.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ before you jeongin got slapped by a woman at least once every week, now he only gets slapped by you every other week and sometimes, but significantly less, still by random other women.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ hyunjin is the biggest beer enthusiast.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ grabbing han by the scruff like how we grab cats by the scruff works. like, he goes limp like a cat.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ chan has caught seungmin trying to secretly look prettier before seeing you. “what are you doing?” “nothing. mind your fucking business.” he’s all up in the mirror while saying that to chan.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ minho’s favorite utensils are spoons.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ hyunjin saying he’ll only have one drink has been a statement never true.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ han thinks all horses are girls. someone asks “what about stallions?” and he says “those are boyfriend horses :)” to him horses are girly, in the good way. he likes women.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ chan started saying “for fuck’s sake” way more since meeting you, not because of you but because of how the boys started acting after you, atp his blood pressure has developed its own blood pressure.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ changbin is like the grilling final boss.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ you trained it into han so hard that sometimes he says “love you” when hanging up on pizza places.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ none of them genuinely missed anything before meeting you.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ chan figured out he loved you first.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ he also sleeps really lightly, even if alone, even if with you, that’s an instinct that will never be shaken out of him.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ you make han fall asleep in a minute, any way you do it. from reading to him to just having a hand in his hair or on his back or butt or any body part, you’re there and baby’s asleep.(a fucking horrible man)
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ none of them had childhood dreams, when people ask “what did you want to be growing up?” they don’t have answers, they never imagined a future. you accidentally gave them one.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ once hyunjin had a mosquito on him. he stabbed the mosquito with a syringe. he also stabbed himself with it in the process and got some of the poison in his bloodstream, but the mosquito was dead and that’s what matters. changbin found hyunjin passed out.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ they never experience nostalgia. deja vu yeah time to time, but never nostalgia.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ changbin once wanted to be so close to you that he lifted the end of your shirt and like climbed in basically, so both of you wore the shirt at the same time, chest to chest. it was great, also fucking inconvenient because you had shit to do and he didn’t want to let you go.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ jeongin has not once in his life been 100% honest.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ hyunjin’s handyman work is actually impressive, like better than you’d imagine changbin’s or chan’s or minho’s is.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ they’ve always trusted each other with their lives. trusting each other with feelings was infinitely harder, but that came around slowly too after they started developing them for you. unconsciously realized that saying it out loud helps.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ felix is the only thing that can scare hyunjin absolutely. like yeah minho can give him little creeps from time to time but then hyunjin walks into a room, turns the light on and felix is already in there, hyunjin fucking drops a whole ass bottle from how scared he got. something in felix brings that out.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ they all can have a creepy presence, actually do have it most time.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ you have become everyone’s answer to everything, they trust your judgment and ideas and woman instincts more than anything. “where’s my shirt?” “ask y/n.” “i think i have internal bleeding.” “tell her.” “i saw a weird bug.” “she’ll know.”
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ they don’t understand how women’s mind work, that’s why it’s harder getting you, but it was always hard, even when seeing into their victims’ minds they worked better with killing men than women, because men were, naturally, more predictable to them.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ hyunjin has dad reflexes. cup falls, catches it. knife falls, catches it. han falls, lets him.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ changbin loves grocery shopping.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ thunderstorms absolutely reset minho, he prefers them over anything. (but you, not over you, of course)
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ once changbin spent three days not meeting you(obviously wanted to more than anything but hiding the bodies and running his business at the same time is not easy shit) and he was actually nauseous from missing you and longing for you. just clung to you when finally got to you too.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ felix drinks all soup. like hold the bowl chug it.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ they never can keep their shirts on when it’s even a little bit warm in the room.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ chan, to get a kill or hide or framing done, can eat everything he doesn’t like, say anything he doesn’t actually agree with, act the arch opposite of himself without any problem, but if he’s forced to drink coffee he will gag that back. that shit will never go down his throat.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ hyunjin always closes his eyes when you hug him.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ if chan says “don’t touch that” they immediately want to touch that. all of them.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ seungmin and han have raced to the front door because you said “first one gets a kiss.” seungmin only won because he stopped to choke han until han passed out.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ chan is impossible to prank, he notices everything always.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ if felix looks at an animal enough, he picks a trait up. like, unconsciously. he shook like a peacock once. stood like a flamingo. saw you pet a cat and purred too.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ seungmin was once thinking in bed before falling asleep, thought about you saying you’re disappointed in him(never happened yet) and it affected him so much and so sudden that he sat up leaned to the side and threw up. just from that, just like that.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ the gnab version of chan also exists here but only around you.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ hyunjin only has fantasies about you. we’re not even talking just sexual fantasies, something as simple as the thought of you calling his name from another room is enough to make his heart drop and his tummy flip.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ jeongin lost his virginity at 16.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ seungmin always eats off your plate.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ chan has to kill anytime anyone touches his stuff, except you.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ changbin loves pda in public, like yes he has a gf and he will show that off.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ each boy’s biggest weakness is you.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ hyunjin and seungmin like cute things.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ nobody knows who taught han how to drive, there is an ongoing theory that nobody actually did.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ minho jerks off with his head tilted back.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ han LOVES those claw machines, even won a few times, actually!
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ seungmin can’t handle losing. losing in any sense, from rock paper scissors to hunting someone with the boys and one of the others get to the victim first, he’ll absolutely start destroying shit.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ chan still folds the laundry the exact way his mom taught him, didn’t change anything about the method.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ changbin likes having his nipples sucked on, and like played with in general.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ chan is the typa guy who you mention something you liked from the shop, for an example juice, and he buys like twenty of it the next day.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ hyunjin writes, small things like little poetry. (though maybe this was mentioned already???)
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ seungmin has a knife he calls princess.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ they all think that if they don’t move, they can get out of under responsibilities.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ hyunjin grew up in a smaller town. like i mean that tells a lot about his personality already.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ horses also like hyunjin
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ seungmin is the most aware of his balls. like that they’re there between his legs, most aware of them.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ when hyunjin goes into a room, sees something he doesn’t like, like a fucking DAD he goes “who left this here” and nobody has the bravery to answer.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ changbin had a minipig at home once, but gave it to a guy he knew later, the pig ate too many human remains and changbin couldn’t stay home with him enough :( he liked the pig.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ felix had a cat when he was a teenager. no, nothing happened to the cat, is still well and alive, just at his parents’
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ let’s consider please that they’re not hairless in this universe because obviously there’s no company that requires them to be. from lil stubbles sometimes to chest hair, like hyunjin specifically has a little chest hair, chan’s arm is so perfectly hairy, whatnot.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ changbin once won a piano competition, the trophy is still somewhere in a box, he hasn’t touched a piano since he was eighteen.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ not that hyunjin’s dad was absent, but not around a lot.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ they think it’s cute how you like their smells.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ felix can’t remember huge parts of his teenager years.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ changbin can and will break a person’s bone with one hand twist.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ jeongin is usually the distraction. felix is the sacrifice.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ like it literally happened once that they were planning a kill and when someone said something like “okay we need someone to be the bait” and like in cartoons they all shut up and slowly looked at felix(they’re FUCKING hilarious). or they just. throw him there when something goes wrong. they know he’ll survive anyway.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ chan’s favorite spot to hurt on a human is neck. any part of it, from front to side to back, it’s his fav.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ minho gets hard when he watches you sleep, you’ve woken up to him just staring at you with his hand down his pants more than once.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ when felix gets random boners, instead of making a move to initiate something sexual with you, he just looks at you with those big empty eyes like “help :)” until you notice him.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ han’s favorite way of killing is just tackling people and stabbing wildly until they stop moving.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ hyunjin is like the fingering final boss.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ when a victim starts begging, jeongin just looks away, waits it out because it’s just so boring.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ one of changbin’s best memories is when he was driving and you fell asleep in the passenger seat for the first time since he knew you. he felt like a good man there, and being good doesn’t matter to them, that’s why it’s so significant. like aw he tried to kill you but you feel this safe
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ you’re not aware of this but you know each of them by their smells, you could recognize them from it instantly.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ jeongin and minho’s cats get along.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ chan loves the knowledge of, the feeling of life leaving under his hands. that gets him going more than anything.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ felix has exactly one freckle right in the middle of his right asscheek.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ changbin can coo to, sweet talk someone he’s killing the same way he sweet talks you when fucking you. he did it before getting to know you, so it’s a habit that bled onto you, not from you.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ han is really impulsive, if chan and the others didn’t exist, he would have been caught years ago. like love quinn type of impulsive. but! despite being impulsive, he never ever leaves the others behind, if someone’s still back at a victim fucking around, han IS with him.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ following victims so much, they developed a patience unbelievably brutal. like could sit for half a day in place without doing anything.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ jeongin is a talker anywhere else, but barely speaks during anything sexual. only when someone talks to him first, he’s too in the feeling to form the thought of speaking.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ they love eating after a kill.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ felix gets hard from killing. not the eating the victim part exactly, but when he takes a life with like a knife or just in any way general, point is takes a life, instant boner.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ leave lipstick marks on han’s dick please.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ you’re, obviously, not the only one they had done this chase and kill with, but the only one that survived.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ minho sometimes checks your pulse during sex. creepy little asshole. oh now that we’re at assholes, he loves anal stuff too.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ they check on you lots randomly. like just come into the room, see you’re fine, leave.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ they can’t apologize in words.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ hyunjin likes to sit back and watch someone’s blood spray.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ chan, hyunjin and changbin are the professional bring you anything you ask for under a SECOND. like the others do what you ask too but they take a while to, they’re men, but chan, changbin and hyunjin immediately get tf up and get it for you.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ seungmin loves shopping with you.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ before knowing you they once just got a pacifier for felix and shoved it in his mouth whenever he wasn’t behaving. but he got addicted so they took it away from him :(
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ changbin once broke every finger on both hands of a guy who touched your waist at a party (before you were dating). he did it one by one in the parking garage while the guy screamed, then he drove the guy to the hospital and dropped him off with a “get well soon.” why didn’t he kill him, you’d ask, because leaving them alive is making a joke of them, to the boys.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ felix sometimes stands in the corner by himself when scolded. like, nobody told him to. he just went.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ han is surprisingly sufficient when killing with his forehead???
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ you have a tiny, almost shy habit of saying “thank you” after a really good orgasm. they all just want to eat you up when you do that, you’re so cute.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ seungmin once made a guy dig his own grave while bleeding out from a dozen little cuts, everytime the guy slowed down seungmin would cut him again and say “faster, bitch.” when the guy finally collapsed seungmin just kicked him into the hole and filled it himself, whistling around.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ they’re all ear licker freaks.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ seungmin is embarrassingly loud in bed.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ minho becomes your bitch when given physical touch to. cuddle with him and you can fold him in any direction, he’ll obey anything.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ “don’t look behind you” never works on them, they immediately look.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ they, obviously, always call changbin to physically move things. car stuck? changbin. body too heavy? changbin. someone fell into a ditch? changbin. han climbed somewhere stupid again? …changbin.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ hyunjin’s favorite hiding spot is simply… behind a tree.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ jeongin goes cross eyed when he has an orgasm.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ chan has the right to take weapons away from the others. “give me the knife.” “…” “jeongin.” “…” “yang jeongin.” “…fine.” “and the other one.” like a little brat, jeongin slaps multiple weapons into chan’s hand.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ despite being built like a skinny little bitch, felix does surprisingly well with the full nelson sex position.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ every single one of them has used the phrase “this is why we can’t have nice things.”
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ minho is the master of hiding. from under something to in an empty bathtub, he never gets found.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ chan has punched through exactly six doors.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ hyunjin and felix grew up totally religious, hyunjin grew out of it, felix didn’t.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ when there’s a baby where they’re killing someone, one of them is always with the baby. not because morality, it’s just fun. bouncing the baby around, rocking them, patting their little back, usually jeongin or hyunjin, talking to the baby in a separate room. just again, not separate room because morality, they just want alone time with the baby. they like babies, all of them do except seungmin.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ yeah seungmin is not a fan of kids. they irritate him, actually.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ lot of murders ended with felix hanging upside down from somewhere, for some reason.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ and at one minho left halfway through to get ice cream. for himself. didn’t know you back then but if he did he would’ve brought you some back.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ changbin owns a pocketpussy, so does hyunjin, reminder they live together, neither knows that the other has one.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ seungmin’s sneakiness, quiet level depends entirely on his mood. good mood? ninja. bad mood? “fuck this.” and kicks door open
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ they usually ask you to settle every debate.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ every time they split into pairs, everyone silently prays they don’t get assigned han. only minho is okay with it, he’s the only one who doesn’t have to rip his hair out from how dumb han is. like, they all like the guy, sure, but working with him is hard.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ chan is the only one who can watch you have sex with the others and actually resist joining in.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ minho can escape handcuffs, besides escaping from situations, he also uses that skill to scare you during sex. like, sweetly scare, of course, he doesn’t want to actually scare you. (always succeeds though)
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ they tried earpieces to work better together once, within seven minutes jeongin was singing, han was loudly making out with you, and felix swallowed his.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ chan has never had a phone case.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ hyunjin can untangle anything, once you and changbin went to him to untangle the ropes changbin got for sex later, hyunjin was done with it in five minutes, watched you two have sex later. joined but got tied up next to changbin, yes changbin was the one tied up. and well, hyunjin too then, he didn’t untangle that one though, that he liked.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ dogs love jeongin and han. jeongin always matches their energy, han is just in awe and adores the dog.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ minho hates balloons.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ felix is really attracted to your neck but not aware of it. hyunjin also has a thing for it but he’s very aware of it.
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ before knowing you, there was a kill when all of them almost died. it was early on before they really knew how to work together and decided to attack a bigger group, what even was their thought process here???, han got stabbed in the side almost fucking immediately, dipshit, jeongin took a bullet to the shoulder, seungmin got his leg slashed defending han, chan had three broken ribs, hyunjin got hit in the face so hard he could barely get up, minho took a knife to the gut, felix got shot in the arm (and still tried to eat someone’s face). changbin was the one who fucking saved them last second with a fucking pipe. han passed out from blood loss, chan held pressure to minho’s wound, the others laid around and accepted defeat. but changbin got the shit together in the last second!!
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ after knowing you, they would never be that reckless again.
author’s note: was i deep and mysterious with the last line.
summary: part two and the last one. (part one here<3) you’re absolutely ready to take your relationship with jisung to the next level, and that’s exactly what you do, but it doesn’t only come with his devotion, but also his real personality. and minho’s real personality, too.
warnings: non idol au, jisung is still dumb, graphic violence, blood, mentions of gore, mentions of nudity, obsessive behavior, cursing, homicidal behavior/psychopathy, brutal codependency, obsessive love, manipulation, heated arguments, sexual content(handjob, premature ejaculation, unprotected and mentions of protected p in v, mentions of pubic hair and anal fingering and period sex, mouth spitting/fingering)
word count: 24k
minho is moving around the kitchen. making coffee. in a tiiiight black shirt, dear god that looks good on him, sipping his drink while han is hanging on you.
“he’s fine.” minho says. “just give him five more minutes of head scratches and he’ll be good for the rest of the night. you’re doing great, by the way. seriously.”
evil bitch.
jisung is so fucking happy. ever since you started staying over more, his life is good. constant smile on his face, eyes shiny whenever they land on you, whole body focused on, controlled by you.
he looks beautiful when he’s like this.
he follows you everywhere. not in a scary way(yet), but like you’re brushing your teeth? he’s standing behind you, chin eventually on your shoulder. you’re trying to make coffee? he’s behind you with his arms around your waist, chin on your shoulder again, swaying. you sit on the couch? he’s immediately on the floor between your knees, head in your lap, big boba eyes looking up at you.
he looks so genuinely beautiful it’s hard to remember he’s the same guy who comes home covered in someone else’s insides sometimes. well, hard to remember for minho.
oh right minho, minho is even more satisfied. it’s so sick but he never stops it. you bring the good out of jisung. so minho enables it.
oh he’ll bring you both food while jisung is on you on the couch. definitely not to keep you there longer. and ohhh, shit, he’ll accidentally forget to wake you up early so you end up spending the whole morning with jisung’s face buried in your skin while he sleeps like a fucking baby. he’ll text you during the day “he’s been staring at the door for an hour waiting for you, just a heads up :)” with zero shame.
evil, evil man.
well, ethically evil. he’s doing good with this, after all… (he didn’t care enough to do anything about it as long as there was no easy potential solution like this. he’s doing this so he doesn’t have to clean more blood.)
you’re… suspecting something, sure, but both boys are just so magnetic that… that you go with it. it feels impossible to say no. every night now you’re at their apartment. sometimes you tell yourself it’s just for a few hours, just to make sure jisung gets enough of you, but most nights you end up sleeping over. minho always makes it sound so reasonable. he’s impossible not to listen to.
jisung is fucking clueless about his own feelings. he doesn’t realize how intense it is, he just knows that when you’re touching him everything feels happy. that makes him carry on, that gets him, keeps him fine.
how do you feel about all of it? it’s exhausting. you like jisung, you really do. it’s endearing how simple he is, how sweet, he doesn’t play games, he doesn’t lie, he looks at you with genuine want. you appreciate that, being needed that much feels really good.
you’ve started sleeping in his bed more often than the couch because he gets anxious if you’re too far away. he’s sweet then. you can tell he really likes you and your company, that he’s completely comfortable, 100% loosened up around you. you can feel he loves you.
minho keeps pushing the boundaries. he’s good at this shit.
but oh, jisung will sometimes wake up in the middle of the night and just stand in the doorway of whatever room you’re in(when you’re not sleeping next to his big ass, of course), staring with those big clueless eyes. if you wake up or notice him, if then you ask what’s wrong he says “i woke up and you weren’t next to me. can i come lie down?”
you let him.
you care about him.
even though that is giving up more and more of your own space, your own time, your own life.
it’s flattering, though.
you’ve never had anyone look at you the way jisung does. it’s addictive. being the center of both his and minho’s attention is… amazing.
mostly jisung’s. minho leaves you two alone nowadays. like now.
he left twenty minutes ago. shrugging on his jacket, talkin bout sum “gonna go meet chan and innie for a bit. you two good here?” mind you jisung was glued to you. you two were more than good.
you nodded, told minho to have fun, and now it’s just you and jisung on his bed. the cats are somewhere else in the apartment. you hope they’re having fun. the little guys.
you’re both sitting cross legged facing each other.
“today i went to the store with minho.” he’s telling you, the babe. “they had the orange juice with the little bits in it. i like the bits. minho said i couldn’t get three cartons because we already have two at home but i told him the bits are better than the smooth kind.”
“mhm.”
“then we saw a dog outside. it was small. smaller than the cats. it looked at me and i looked at it and i thought maybe i could pet it but minho said no because it might bite. i don’t think it would bite me. i’m big. dogs like big people i think. do you like dogs?”
“i love them.”
“yeah. cats are nicer because they climb on me but dogs might be okay too if they don’t run away.”
the longer he talks the more… into it he gets. he doesn’t even seem to notice he’s slowly moving toward you on all fours now. it’s genuinely pathetic and mirrors the fact that he’s a serial killer perfectly, if we look at it the right way.
“and then at the store there was this lady who dropped her bread. i picked it up for her and she said thank you and smiled. her smile wasn’t like your smile though. yours is nicer.”
“thank you.”
his face is only a foot away from yours.
“i bought minho a shirt he said he liked. he was very happy.”
“yeah, he told me about it.”
the space between you keeps getting smaller.
he’s just drawn to you.
his hands are on the mattress on either side of your crossed legs.
tension. you feel it. sexual, but not aggressive.
“today felt long without you.” he says.
his mouth is so close now. you can feel his breath brushing your lips when he speaks. you’re obviously thinking something that didn’t even cross his empty mind yet.
he has no idea what he’s doing to the tension. he never experienced this before, how could he know?
so you, can’t help it anymore, take it into your own hands. you cup his face gently, palms on his warm babe cheeks, watching his pretty face. your eyes are shining.
he stops talking. his eyes get wider. stares at you, confused and waiting, breath stopping. now he can feel that something is up.
your noses brush first.
then your lips touch his.
it’s his first kiss. you can tell so easily. his mouth is unsure, bad. he freezes completely, whole body, lips parted, not knowing how to move.
you press your mouth a little harder, tilting your head, showing him. he makes an adorable little noise.
his lips start to move then, copying you. well, trying to. awkward. really bad but you’re a bad bitch so you appreciate the effort. he presses back too hard at first, then too soft, even he can feel that oh shit he doesn’t know how to do.
he moans when you part your lips and gently lick into his mouth.
he shivers when your tongue touches his. he never thought it’ll feel like this. it’s… making him brutally hard tho. he moans again the moment you stroke along it. he tries too. fails. tongue slips next to yours. you take the control back, for the both of you’s sake.
he has no idea what he’s doing. it shows. his mouth chases yours when you pull back the tiniest bit, lips smacking wetly as he tries to keep contact.
you kiss him deeper to reassure the poor boy and he lets out another moan, so overwhelmed. his tongue tries to push back but it’s lame, sliding too far, then retreating because he got scared.
“mmh… mmmhh… ah—” okay sungie.
you keep it slow, showing him how it’s motherfucking done,,you suck gently on his bottom lip and he whines. pathetic babe. when you slide your tongue along his again he shudders, his dumb little knees actually buckling, kind of, his hips twitch forward, his fingers curl into the sheets.
he’s panting between kisses, mouth open, lips shiny and swollen and wet and both of you can feel how wet they are, but everytime you pull away even a millimeter he leans forward chasing you with another needy sound. little bitch.
minutes pass and he still hasn’t figured out a rhythm.
“mmmmmhh— mmh— ahh—”
okay, shit, we get it.
you tilt your head the other way and deepen it again. you get a moan right into your mouth when you suck on his tongue gently. he’s breathing hard through his nose, hot on your cheek.
it’s so intimate. sweet. mammal. like a first pancake. bad. but edible. next one will be better.
you pull away a little and he whines, mouth open, tongue out. he’s lost without yours. you kiss him again immediately to calm him the fuck down and the relieved moan he lets out is clit tickling.
one of his hands go to your knee. there we go. he’s learning.
you pull back, further away now. your lips part with such an erotic wet sound.
he immediately clamps one hand over the huge bulge in his sweats. presses down hard, trying to hide it and rub some relief into it at the same time. his lower lip is trembling. spit shines on his swollen lips and chin. he looks so fucking lost and so fucking good.
so pathetic.
“y/n, i really like you.” he cries out. “i like you so much it makes my chest do things and hurt. when you’re not here i feel bad. but when you’re close i’m okay. i like when you touch me, i like when you talk to me, it makes my whole body feel funny, like nice funny. i think about you all day, even when i’m eating or petting the cats or walking with minho i’m thinking about your smell and your voice and how nice your skin is. i like it. i like you more than i like soonie and that’s a lot because i really like that cat.”
hand keeps pressing down and rubbing slow over his bulge.
oh, sweetheart.
“i like when you smile at me. your smile is the best one. it’s beautiful. other people smile but it doesn’t feel like yours, yours makes me feel… big. i know— i— minho says i’m really dumb but you never make me feel bad about it. i like you so much y/n. my heart does the fast thing and my dick does the hard thing and sometimes i have to touch it in my room thinking about you putting your fingers in my throat again. that felt really good. i want to feel good things with you all the time.” he takes a breath. “i want to have sex with you. i don’t really know how it works but i think i want that. with you. because i like you so much and my body wants to be close to you everywhere. is that okay? can we do that?”
oh.
ohhh.
that’s different.
you tilt your head. you genuinely can’t help but smile. oh, you caring woman, you reach out and gently brush your thumb over his trembling bottom lip, watching his eyes flutter. it’s brutally attractive, that happening in him. that was the best possible reaction he could give.
“you want to have sex with me, huh? that’s a big thing to say, sungie. do you even know what that means? all the touching and the naked parts and how it feels?”
jisung nods, squeezing at his cock. “i think so. minho told me some stuff once. i think about you and my… thing gets really hard and it aches and i rub it and it feels good but i think it would feel better if you were the one touching. i want to be close to you inside. is that sex? i want that with you y/n. only you.”
oh.
“i can see how much you’re pressing down on it.” you say, sympathizing. “does it hurt?“
he nods, lips trembling, looking down. “yes. it started when you kissed me. your tongue felt really nice and wet and now it won’t go down.”
fuck, he’s so easy.
you slowly push on his big chest with both hands, guiding him backward until he’s lying flat on the bed. he goes willingly, trusting, he would trust you with his fucking life, he does, letting you top him completely. his big body spreads out under you as you climb on him, knees on either side of his hips, straddling his waist.
you lean down and kiss him again, slower now, taking full control. he moans instantly, loud, helpless, this is the word, helpless. his hands end up on your thighs.
you lick into his mouth. again and again. he keeps moaning.
he’s still so bad at kissing, but he tries so hard, chasing every movement you make. really just wanting more of you.
while you kiss him you reach down and gently pry his hand away from his bulge. his fingers are trembling. you replace his hand with yours, pressing your palm on him.
“mmmmmhh—” his hips jerk up.
you rub him slowly over the clothes, feeling him up, getting familiar with his shape, how hard he is.
jisung whines, hips twitching again, chasing the pressure.
“this okay?” you mumble.
“everything is okay.” he practically cries out.
okay then.
you smile on his mouth and keep rubbing him slowly, palm going up and down, then around, then squeezing(oh minho would’ve loved getting this treatment too that night ANYWAYS). his hips hump up into your hand. you keep it slooooow, squeezing gently at the head, rubbing the heel of your palm along the shaft.
oh jisung is a mess of body reactions and emotions and noises. constant moaning, whimpering, little sounds. his mouth stays open on yours, tongue sliding around, messy, just lost.
and the little whore has his mouth falling open, head tilting back into the pillow. humping up into your hand.
“mm, there we go, baby boy.”
oh that turned him on. (if it’s possible to turn him on more than this)
you hook your pretty fingers into the waistband of his sweats and underwear. “let’s get these off, yeah?”
he nods, whines, practically begs you with his eyes to do so.
oh you do. you keep it in mind that this must be his first time, so you get those off him gently. it’s even gentle, the way his cock springs out when the waistband stops tugging it down, slapping towards the crease between his thigh and hips.
the base is dark, darker than the rest of his shaft, the brownish color fades at the head. has a messy bush that hasn’t been trimmed in who knows how long, looks good on him. the skin is slightly textured. cute. probably around five, six inches. the whole thing twitches visibly, bobbing at your attention. hi to you too, jisung’s dick.
he makes a loud and embarrassed whine when you expose him. he wants to close his legs instinctively.
he’s beautiful.
you spit into your palm. his eyes go wide. shit. you’re going to touch him.
you wrap your spit slick palm around his cock.
the fucking moment your fingers close around him he lets out the loudest, whiniest sound of the night yet. voice crack with it and all. his back arches off the bed, bucking up into your fist, thighs trembling, his fingers gripping into you desperately.
“feels so good, feels so good.” yes baby, we can tell.
you start stroking him slowly, nice, tight, spreading your spit down.
on the very first full stroke his eyes roll back and he cries out loud, mouth wide open, tongue lolling out.
on the second his whole body jerks, shaking his head around from the overstimulation.
by the third stroke he’s panting, hips stuttering up into your fist, moaning loud, practically shouting.
he doesn’t even last five strokes. on the fourth pull his entire body seizes up, and ropes of cum shoot out of him, splattering across his stomach, your hand, fucking up into your fist with every spurt. toes curling, back arched, melting into the bed.
he looks so fucking adorable cumming too, oh your fucking god.
it goes on longer than you expected for a first orgasm with someone else. spurt after spurt, his cock twitching and jumping in your grip while he makes little sobs of pleasure. you keep your hand moving gently, getting the last weak dribbles out of him, using his own cum as lube now. it’s all over his dumb little tummy.
his cock didn’t soften yet. oh. sweet. you stop stroking anyway. just holding him in your wet hand now. he whimpers.
you sit there on top of him for a bit, your brain does the math.
you’re not on birth control.
he just came a ridiculous amount all over his own stomach and your fingers.
you’re about to fuck this needy little whore raw.
worst case scenario you’ll buy the morning after pill tomorrow. or hell, even get an abortion later if it comes to that. right now none of that matters because jisung is lying under you looking like the most pathetic, desperate, fuckable thing you’ve ever seen, and you need him inside you more than you need to be responsible.
fuck it.
you lean down and kiss him, loving, horny, tasting the moans he keeps feeding you. he whimpers into it, hands groping at your thighs. he… doesn’t even know what he’s feeling right now, only knows he cannot get enough of it.
when you pull back, a string of spit connects your lips. breaks. you sit up straight, grab the bottom of your shirt, and peel it off.
jisung’s eyes go wide.
he knows women’s upper bodies are private, he knows they’re sexual, he’s seen enough random porn on his phone (usually when minho wasn’t looking) to understand that seeing tits means something is actually about to happen. his mouth falls open, a shaky little breath escaping as he stares at your bra covered chest.
you reach behind your back, unhook your bra, and let it slide down your arms.
the second your tits are bare, jisung actually shudders. like fullbody tremble through him, his cock twitching, he gives a little sound as the cherry on top. his hands lift toward your tits, he wants to touch so bad, but then he freezes. minho’s voice is in his head(“and you gotta ask for consent, man. because girls appreciate tha— jisung, buddy, hands out of your mouth. jisung. JI—“) is leading him.
“can i touch them?” he asks.
you make your answer pretty fucking clear with the way you grab both his hands and place them on your chest yourself.
jisung’s eyes flutter and he lets out the most pathetic, grateful moan you’ve ever heard. he takes that as a very enthusiastic yes. he squeezes, gropes you, fingers digging into your skin, kneading and squishing. it hurts but he’s testing how they feel, let him learn.
he lifts them, pushes them together, squeezes, watching the way your skin bulges, jiggles, moves.
“they feel really good.” he mumbles.
“thank you, baby.”
he pinches your nipples a few times, quick little tugs that make you hiss(and he takes those as reactions he’ll think about later because one thought at a time) but mostly he’s just squeezing and groping, assuming they feel as good for you as they feel for him when he does it for himself(he’s pretty experienced with his own body, at least).
you take your hands off his cock, he doesn’t even notice, all his dipshit attention on your boobs so he doesn’t even register the way you push your pants and panties down, kicking them off.
now you’re completely bare too.
now his eyes drop to your pussy. he bites his lower lip.
you’ve got a tiny bit of hair, nothing crazy. nothing like the wild bush he’s sporting. he stares at it with wide dumb eyes, chewing on his mouth. in his empty head he thinks it looks really good on you, soft and pretty and somehow even more private and real than the completely hairless girls in the porn he’s seen. this paragraph was to demonstrate that he’s only watched (most likely unrealistic) porn before and never been in any situation like this ever.
his cock twitches. interested, happy. it’s fully hard now. his tongue hangs out a little.
whore. but also really excited and a little scared. but he trusts you.
you shift on his body until you’re hovering over his cock, knees on either side of his hips, so the basic riding position. you’re going to top the living shit out of this man.
jisung’s eyes are huge. he’s breathing fast through his mouth, watches you as you reach down and wrap your fingers around his cock. rock hard, even darker now, sticky. as you hold it under you, teasing the blunt head on your slick folds, rubbing it up and down your slit.
“y/n, y/n, pleaseeee..”
you drag the head over your clit a few times, letting him feel how a girl is built up, that he’s actually with a woman now and that he’s going to get fucked tonight.
he keeps making nervous little sounds. one of his hands shake, moves away from your tit, shake in the air, then slap down on your thigh. then keeps slapping because he’s so full of little nerves, tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap. he doesn’t know what else to do with all the energy buzzing inside his virgin little body.
“y/n, please.” he whines, tap tap tap tap tap tap tap. “i want to be inside, it’s aching so bad. can i go inside now? please? i’ll be good.”
he looks so cute.
and a little sad. so, shit, okay, let’s end the fucking around. but you’re teasing him longer next time.
you finally line him up properly, nicely position the blunt head right under your entrance, and start to sink down. first push is tight. you have to stop, fuck yourself on the tip a little, then carry on, the dark base of his cock slowly disappearing as you take him in.
jisung’s moans, whines and “aaah, yeah, uuuh—“ that’s encouragement.
you take it slow on purpose, make it a good first time, settle all the way down until your ass is on his hips, his cock buried in you, when you’re able to sit on him… he fills you perfectly. feels good.
for jisung it’s overwhelming, this is so his first time, his eyes roll back before he forces them open again so he can watch. “y/n, y/n, uhh, please. please, y/n.”
fuck, sure. you start moving in slow little circles first, grinding down on him. not lifting off yet on purpose, making his cock stir inside you, rubbing your spots. sounds wet.
his head leans back on the pillow, mouth hanging open, constant little “ah ah ah” sounds coming from his perfect little mouth. “feels so good, don’t stop, please don’t stop.”
well, you’ll eventually have to. this feels really good, jisung is not completely useless after all, but you’ll have to carry on sooner or later to actually get an orgasm out of this.
so after a long minute of just grinding in those circles, you switch to rocking back and forth. lean forward a little, holding yourself up on his pretty chest, barely hairy, and start sliding your hips forward and back. long, slow. this feels even better. his cock drags along your walls so good with your movements, you’ll have to give that fat head a kiss later, sexual or not sexual. deserves it for making you feel this good.
his hips start trying to thrust up to meet your movements, really chasing it, but he’s bad, just making little jerky pushes that only drive him deeper. but even this gets you wetter.
you try to stay like that for a while(even while he’s trying to fuck up into you), rocking, letting both of you adjust to the feeling(him so he doesn’t cum in a millisecond again, you because you’re just getting properly horny).
only when you’re both breathing hard and he feels comfortable in you do you finally start lifting up a little. you rise just a few inches, slow, then sink back down gently, taking him completely again.
jisung’s whole body jolts.
you lift halfway off his cock, feeling him in your walls, then slide back down until your ass meets his hips with a soft skin slap. you stay gentle, never slamming, always paying attention to how deep he goes and how his face twists with every slow move you make. you pay attention to him.
jisung looks up at you the whole time with those big, shocked, adoring eyes, mouth open, moaning nonstop.
you’re so good at this. keeping yourself controlled, keeping it slow, deep, making sure he feels every single sensation while you also go after your own pleasure on top of him. you’re a fucking sex god, y/n. he’s so lucky to have pulled a bad bitch like you. you’re literally made to date a loser like him too.
because look at him. he’s the cutest, whiniest, most reactive little bitch you’ve ever had the pleasure of breaking in.
and jisung talks to you in every possible second of the day(when not dozing off), always seeking your judgement, your support, your words, you. but now he feels so much pleasure that he can’t even form one pathetic word. you know this. you find it adorable.
his hands grip your waist, it’s to deal with the unbearable pleasure, painful. who cares. he’s getting impatient again, needy little bitch starting to really thrust up, but who are you to judge, you’re right there with him. the careful riding isn’t enough, you need more, faster, harder, more of jisung. your body needs it.
so you put one hand on his chest and start slamming down on him properly, ass slapping on his hips, while your other hand goes to your clit, rubbing with two fingers, chasing it just as much as he’s chasing it.
jisung starts thrusting up into you like a fucking animal, except this transformation doesn’t end in someone dying, just him moaning and crying out and whining louder.
makes your eyes roll back.
you slam down harder to match him, riding his soul out of him. your tits bounce. he likes seeing that. his cock slams inside you over and over, head bullying your walls, really fucking getting you into it.
it turns into pure rabbit fucking in seconds.
you’re both chasing each other, moaning and shouting and whining and groaning. to top that off, the pace is brutal. you’re both panting like dogs. skin slapping. bodies colliding hard enough to make the bed creak, to make skin jiggle, hurt.
it feels fucking incredible.
the stretch, the human heat, the want, the wetness, the friction, it’s all too much and not enough.
mindless. both of you.
jisung throws his head back, eyes squeezed shut, mouth open. always giving sound, not one silent second from him. you’re just as loud, but keep watching him as he yowls around.
it’ll be harder to balance yourself now but whatever, you take your hand off his chest, go up to his face, and slide two fingers past his open lips and push down on his tongue, pinning it to the floor of his mouth.
his eyes fly open wide, a muffled scream ripping out around your fingers. cums right then, screaming around you.
his hips slam up one final time, locking there, burying his cock as deep as it can go while he fills your pussy up. cums so hard his entire body shakes and jerks uncontrollably, thighs trembling, toes curling, back arched so hard he almost bucks you off.
the sight and sound of him gets you unbelievably turned on.
you grind and bounce on his oversensitive cock, using his cum as extra lube, rubbing your clit faster and faster. feels better, better, better—
your pussy clamps down around his cock. you stop moving, physically can’t anymore, and you moan so loud, cumming around him, back hunching as your thighs shake. the feeling of his mouth around your fingers making it brutally, unbearably intense.
so fucking intense that you have to get off him and flop down next to him. quiet now. spent.
his length slaps his stomach, going down now, shiny and messy with both of your fluids. his pretty head drops back on the pillow, mouth still open as he gasps for air.
he looks like death.
you lie there next to him, both of you breathing hard, the room smelling like sex and sweat and cum. your pussy is still pulsing faintly, leaking his load onto the sheets.
neither of you says anything for a loooong time.
both processing.
you turn your head to look at him. he’s staring at the ceiling with that same dazed, clueless look, lips trembling a little, cock slowly softening on his messy stomach.
you did that.
hot.
he looks back at you. whines. moves and cuddles up to you, rolling onto his side and wrapping his massive arms around your waist, pulling you into his sweaty chest. his face buries into the crook of your neck, nose pressing right under your ear, hot breath on your skin. one of his thick thighs slides between yours.
you sigh. reach down and drag the blanket up over both of you, tucking it around your bodies.
“that was really good. it felt really good inside you, i liked it a lot.” he tells you. he has such a beautiful voice.
you stroke his hair with one hand, letting him live and love this out. “yeah? i’m glad.”
he pulls back to look at you with those big, glassy, post nut eyes. he looks beautiful. “did you enjoy it too? i heard you making noises but… i don’t know. i want to know if it was good for you.” oh baby.
“yes. i enjoyed it. a lot. the way i was moaning and the way i came on your cock? that means it felt really fucking good for me.”
he blinks slowly, confused. “nothing came out of you. when i cum stuff comes out. a lot of stuff. nothing came out of you. i thought when girls cum it’s supposed to… shoot out or something. is that not how it works?”
poor boy. his brain is clearly fried from whatever porn and hentai he’s seen. he thinks female orgasm equals visible explosion and that squirting is the only way to know it happened, plus that it happens when the man cums too. no worries, you’ll teach him.
you brush a strand of hair off his sweaty forehead. “no, baby boy. that’s not how it works for most girls. when i cum it feels really intense inside, it feels amazing, but nothing has to shoot out for it to be real. some girls do shoot something sometimes, but a lot of us don’t. i came really hard on you. trust me.”
he nods slowly, still looking a little lost but accepting it because it’s you telling him. “oh… okay. so you really came?”
“yes, sungie, i really came. and it was good, really good.”
he thinks about that for a second. using all his brain cells which is maybe two. “i’m glad. i want you to feel good too. i like when you feel good.”
you tuck his face back into your neck. kiss his head. “i swear on jeongin’s life that this was the best sex i’ve ever had. hands down.”
somewhere across town, jeongin is sitting between chan and minho on chan’s balcony, in sentence about something, when he suddenly clutches his heart.
“ow, fuck, what the fuck was that?” he winces, rubbing the spot.
chan snorts into his beer. “probably karma for all the times you’ve been a whore, man.”
minho chuckles, nods.
whatever. you’re over hyunjin. just an ex, no matter how good the sex was.
“hm, okay.” jisung mumbles.
you stroke his back slowly. he really is the neediest, whiniest, most reactive little bitch you’ve ever fucked.
next morning, you’re tangled in his arms. aw. babe. his face is buried in your neck, warm breath tickling your skin, one leg thrown over yours. you can feel the stickyness between your thighs from last night. safe sex who.
you try to slip out of bed quietly but the second you move, jisung tries to hold you down with him.
“wait.” he mumbles. he pulls you back to his chest(you’re shocked by how easily he does that, seriously, how strong is this whore?), nose nuzzling into your hair. “don’t go yet, it’s still early. stay here with me a little longer.”
you turn in his arms and gently cup his face. he looks… washed out. like if someone put him in a washing machine. looks at you with needy eyes,,is just a little meow meow.
“i have to go for a bit, sungie. i’ll come back later, okay?”
his brows pull together, confused, worried. “why? did i do something wrong last night? i thought— i thought it was really good. i don’t want you to leave.”
you sigh softly and stroke his cheek. “you didn’t do anything wrong, last night was amazing, but we didn’t use protection and i could get pregnant. i don’t want a baby now.”
“what’s wrong with a baby? if it was ours it would be cute i think. i like kids, they’re small. like cats but they talk eventually. i could hold it while you do stuff.”
pfft.
you smile. wide. beautiful. can’t help it. “we’re not ready for a baby, i’m not ready. a baby is a really big deal, it changes everything. i need to take care of it now before anything happens. okay? trust me on this, it’s the responsible thing.”
he thinks about it. “okay… if you say it’s important then i trust you. but you’ll come back after? you promise?”
“i promise.”
he leans in and presses a clumsy kiss to your shoulder, then your neck(let’s consider that he didn’t learn his from anywhere, it’s his dumb nature telling him to do this, to love you right, to touch you), pulls away to say “last night was the best thing that’s ever happened to me. i want to do more stuff with you. can we do something tonight? maybe watch a movie or… or do that again if you want.”
you kiss his forehead, swipe his hair from his eyes. “yeah, sure. we can do something tonight.”
that seems to satisfy him enough. he lets you get dressed(though doesn’t really want to let you go, literally what’s wrong with a baby, y/n???)(dumb fuck), watching you the entire time with big eyes. wow. women.
you walk out into the living room, meet minho already in the kitchen, making coffee. he’s so cute. like wdym he has a little caffeine addiction and he needs his little coffee. dori walking around his legs, little tail on minho’s leg, brushing it.
“morning.” you say, grabbing your hoodie from the couch.
“morning.”
this is a brutally adorable interaction if we think about it. even if we consider that he totally checked your ass out when you walked past.
so. you head out.
barely five minutes later, jisung comes out of his room wearing nothing but boxers and a sweats. they might be on backwards. whatever. the look could be perfect with a few hickeys but you didn’t bless him with any, but his hair is messy, and he’s got this obvious, glowing, freshly fucked look on his face. he looks good. really fucking good.
minho raises an eyebrow as jisung walks into the kitchen. “well damn. look at you.”
jisung comes to the kitchen counter and leans on it, smiling. “we had sex last night.”
minho chokes on his coffee, slams the mug down. it spills. he feels… genuine surprise. he saw jisung all messy and thought you two like finally kissed or something, he didn’t expect jisung to get pussy this soon.
“y/n and me.”
“yeah no shit bro.”
jisung crosses his arms over his broad chest(you’d jump him for that, damn he looks hot), looking proud. dumb. “we did it. like, a lot. she kissed me first. it was really nice, kissing is nice. boobs are really soft, minho. i squeezed them a lot, try it once. she got on top of me, like all the way on top, held my dick once but i came really fast. but then she put it in her. it felt really good i couldn’t even think.” like he ever does.
minho rubs his face with both hands, happy, or maybe secondhand embarrassed for jisung. like, he’s happy for him, whoo finally got laid whatever, and by someone who actually seems to care about him, but he’s also lowkey worried. jisung is glowing, this obsession is only going to get worse now, it’ll be harder to deal with.
“alright alright, slow down.” minho says, leaning against the counter facing jisung. “first off, good job. first time is always quick. second, where did your cum go?” it feels so weird to squeeze these words out. but whatever they’re best friends. and that’s an important talk, a really important one, and oh the fact that he just knew, felt that jisung came inside.
“in her. but she said she’s gonna take some pill so no baby. i know how that works. i told her a baby might be okay but she said no.”
minho rubs his temple. “okay. shit. listen. you should’ve used a condom. you know, rubber thingy. raw is risky. babies aside, there’s diseases and shit. next time you wear a rubber unless she says otherwise and i’ll take you to get tested. got it?”
he knows you’ll keep jisung safe tho.
“okay. but won’t it feel better without?”
“yeah that’s why people like it. but you still wrap it up until you’re sure. whatever. you think you did good?”
“i think? didn’t last very long though.”
“yeah, that’s normal for your first time. next time try to breathe and relax a little.”
“i couldn’t, i could only go fast. it felt really good.”
“be gentle sometimes. slow feels really good too. girls like it. pay attention to y/n.”
jisung nods, absorbing the information. dumb head finally put to work. “okay. slow is good too. got it. she… had a hand between her legs lots. is that normal?”
minho won’t be able to look at you the same after that. no, this is not a bad thing, he won’t look at you with anything wrong, only… only more lust, unfortunately. “very normal. that’s how most girls make themselves cum. you can do that for her with your hand next time. or your mouth. you’ll learn it.”
jisung’s eyes widen. “my mouth? down there? …would she like that?”
“most girls love that shit, man. just be gentle at first, slow. l…” shit it’s hard to say this. “lick.” there we go. “she’ll let you know when you’re doing it right. well, y/n sure will.” and he doesn’t think jisung will fuck anyone else anytime soon.
minho feels weird though. lots of things in his body.
relief, because jisung is glowing. he looks happy, finally. the last time minho has seen him this happy when they got the last cat. plus the other side has been quiet for weeks now and last night clearly pushed it even further down.
jealousy, tiny bit. you’re so good for jisung, you keep him stable and now you’re fucking him stupid too. but minho finds you attractive too. he wouldn’t mind if he got the same treatment, maybe.
fondness, like minho knows he’s the only person that jisung would tell all this to. this unfiltered, this shameless, this… friend. close. he’s glad that he’s this asshole’s best friend.
worry, now that jisung has had you, he’s going to want you even more. constantly.
“you like her then?” minho asks, though he already knows the answer.
“yeah, i like her more than anything. i want her to stay here all the time. i want to keep having sex with her. i want to make her feel good too. i love her.”
fucking brutal.
minho sighs. but he’s happy for jisung, genuinely. he’s more sure than ever that he needs to keep you here, no matter what it takes. the version of jisung standing in the kitchen right now, blessed by the feeling of pussy, is the version he wants to keep, even if it means doing bad for both of you.
you’re standing in line at the pharmacy.
and isn’t it just fucking fabulous that jeongin stops next to you, having a box of condoms (extra thin, ribbed for her pleasure) in his hand only? like genuinely only came into the pharmacy just for that.
“no fucking way! if it isn’t minho’s girl! what are you doing here, y/n?”
you give him a tired smile and drop the box of morning after pills onto the counter.
the cashier sighs, jeongin’s face drops.
his eyes go wide as he stares at the box, then back at you, then at the box again. his mouth opens in a perfect little o before he smiles that beautiful grin again. “oh shit, you and minho been getting busy lately, huh?” he says, way too loud, elbowing you.
“yeah.”
the cashier rings you up while jeongin leans on the counter, clearly dying to know more. “so like… what’d he do? did he… y’know, eat you out first?”
“…yes.”
“for reeeeal? did he make you cum from that? wait did you sit on his face or did he just go down?”
“second.”
“nice, nice. does he go hard or is he all slow and romantic? does he talk dirty? choke you a little? slap your ass? please tell me he at least smacked your ass once.” how is he so comfortable talking about this to a girl?
you’re dying laughing inside, your stomach fucking hurts from keeping it in. “all of the above.”
jeongin actually spins once in place. pervert. “does he finger you first? like how many? two? three? is he good?”
you hold up three fingers. your chest hurts from the adrenaline of the kept in laughter.
“fuuck.” he whispers, biting his lip. “does he make you squirt?”
“sometimes.”
let’s note that he’s fucking bricked up now, poorly trying to hide it by holding his hand lower. he thinks he’s slick. he is not slick.
the pharmacist is pretending very hard to not exist.
“jesus that’s hot. so did he cum inside you? is that why you’re getting the pill? shit, rawdogging it? my respect for the guy.”
“yeah.”
“did he finish on your tits or in your mouth or—“
you grab your bag, smile at the pharmacist, and start heading for the door. “bye.”
“wait wait wait—” he fumbles with his lil box of condoms, practically throwing cash at the poor cashier before sprinting after you.
he catches up outside, slightly out of breath, cheeks pink. he’s still hard and trying (failing) to hide it.
“so uh…” he rubs the back of his neck, suddenly looking a little shy. oh? “so, uh, you wanna meet up sometime? maybe? just us? i don’t know, we could hang.”
he still thinks you’re dating minho.
for a bit you actually think about it. jeongin is hot, a boy. would probably be fun for a quick, nasty hookup. but then you remember jisung. how he looked at you, how you were the one that took his virginity, how you can feel he’s in love with you.
jeongin could never compete.
“can’t. i’m good.”
he throws his hands around next to himself. what a childish, immature asshole. “awww c’monnn. not even one little sneaky link? i give great head, i swear. minho doesn’t even have to find out—”
“i’m good.”
he looks genuinely surprised, he wasn’t expecting rejection. what a fucking clown. “then tell him i said he’s lucky.” this is still trying to flirt, by the way.
“tell him yourself.”
you made the right choice.
later when you come home minho makes you food. you sit down and eat it, of course. you don’t realize he made it specifically so you wouldn’t take the pill on an empty stomach.
and oh as soon as jisung hears your voice he comes out again. what an angel(when has he killed last time?) walks to you, wraps his arms around your shoulders from behind and buries his face in your neck. sniffing you in. dream boyfriend(killer).
“i missed you. can we go back to bed now?”
you pat his arm. “i just got home, baby. give me a minute.”
he likes it when you call him baby.
but that minute of him clinging turns into hours, then days, then a new life for you.
jisung can’t get off your dick. not even a little bit.
the obsession that was already bad before sex, it, of course, escalated after you took his virginity. you are now the center of his entire empty little universe. fucking brutal to even think about that.
every single morning starts the same. you try to get up for work and he turns into a whiny bitch, actual tantrums. stomps around the apartment.
“you don’t have to go.” he says one morning, blocking the door. “your work is stupid. they can survive without you. i can’t. what if something bad happens while you’re gone?”
fucking exhausting.
he’s on you the second you walk through the door after work. drops whatever he’s doing (usually petting a cat or staring at the wall thinking about your pussy) and immediately is on you.
jisung is genuinely sick in the head.
and you’re his fixation. his cure. his everything.
and then there’s minho.
minho is a different type of fucked up, but he still is. these bitches are made for each other.
he’s starting to like having you around for himself too.
both of them are genuinely fucked in the head, just in different types of. both of their worlds revolve around you now.
but it feels good to be this needed.
it’s all fine. they need you. and you need to be needed. that’s so fine. you don’t know jisung is a murderer, that minho is a maniac, it genuinely is fine!!
yeah that’s what minho is. a fucking maniac.
he’s brutal. knows how to handle any situation, and will.
as i said, he’s not even doing it purely for jisung anymore. that he likes you too. that he likes this, this thing the three of you has.
and he will do anything to protect it.
he makes you breakfast everytime you stay over not because he’s nice, but because he wants you associating this apartment with warmth and care and “someone finally looking out for me.” manipulative cunt.
he’s happy his best friend is getting laid. really happy. the more jisung needs you, the more power minho has to keep you here.
he knows he’s not a good person. he knows he’s slowly trapping you for jisung’s sake (and for his own), he just doesn’t give a fuck.
he’s happy about it, he sleeps better now knowing you’re two doors down. he smiles more when he tells a joke and not only jisung laughs at it but you too. minho is happy.
jisung’s love is simpler. i know, i know, he really changed since you let him have sex with you, but that’s not because he’s in love with your body only or anything. he fell for you the very day you walked him home. sex just made the obsession worse, but the root of it was always you.
still… now that he’s had a taste, he literally cannot get enough.
your sex life now is actually unreal. he wants it constantly. always needy. every single night he’s on you. the second the door closes and minho gives you two space, jisung is already reaching for you with those clumsy hands, hopeful.
“y/n, can we do it again tonight?”
and you give it to him. because how the fuck are you supposed to say no to that face?
some nights he’s desperate and fast, he’ll pull you into his room, practically rip your clothes off, and beg you to ride him. other nights he tops gently. you taught him gentle.
still cums embarrassingly quick sometimes, but he’s gotten a little better at holding it.
he looooves eating you out!! (minho gave him very detailed instructions) now he’ll randomly drop to his knees while you’re trying to do your own little business and bury his face between your legs. or when you’re lying in his bed and he crawls between your legs. or when you’re sitting on their couch and minho’s not home. or when minho is home but he’s asleep and you’re sitting at the table and jisung just reeeeaally wants to crawl under the table for a little taste of you!!
the word taste is important here. because he really just loves the way you taste, that’s why he wants it so bad. plus he loves to make you feel good. but dear god does he love the taste more.
he’s not skilled yet but the energy is there. that counts.
he loves when you sit on his face. minho gave him that tip. he’ll lie there for ages with his tongue buried in your pussy, moaning and whimpering into you, moving his face side to side, even. he gets so into it his hips hump the air, helpless is what he is, leaking all over his own stomach. he’s perfect.
then some nights he’s softer. he wants to be close. he’ll pull you on top of him and hold you there while you slowly ride him, face buried between your tits, or neck, or anywhere that’s touching you really,,moaning and whining and whimpering and squeaking into your skin. he loves skin to skin, loves when you lean down so your chests press together.
he also discovered he really likes when you finger his throat. he’ll grab your hand himself sometimes and guide your fingers into his mouth, sucking and whimpering and letting you repeatedly push down on his tongue, while you bounce on his cock or he’s fucking you. the boy has a throat kink and has no clue about it.
one night after you spit in his mouth during sex (he begged so pathetically you gave in), he becomes like so obsessed with it. every single time now he opens his mouth like a babybird while you’re riding him.
he also really wants to bite your neck. not little love bites, proper teeth marks. he asks for that too, nosing at your throat, and how could you say no?
he loves when you choke him. not even in a yes mommy way he just really likes when you put your hand on his throat. he usually gasps out something when you do it, trying to talk because he craves your comforting words and then blows his load.
he loves when you pin him down. loves being on his back while you control everything. he’ll hold his arms above his head if you tell him to and stay there like a good boy even when he’s shaking and desperate to touch you.
he also has this weird thing where he likes when you’re mean to him during sex. not too mean, just a little degradation. if you call him a desperate little whore or tell him he’s only good for fucking he’ll moan so loud minho laughs in the next room. he doesn’t understand why it turns him on so much, he just knows when you say it it feels so good and yes he’s literally just a little whore as long as you say he is. he also loves being told what to do.
he wants to be inside you all the time. morning sex, shower sex, middle of the night “i had a bad dream, can i put it in for a little?” sex.
he doesn’t understand boundaries yet. or rather, he understands them as “things y/n says no to”
one night you’re on your period, cramping pretty bad, and you tell him no sex.
he tilts his head, genuinely and visibly confused. “but it’s just blood? i don’t mind blood. i can still put it in, right? why does blood stop us? i really want to be inside you right now.”
“because it hurts. and i’m… not in the mood right now, i guess. i’m uncomfy, jis.” you say, putting your hand in his hair.
he pushes his head into your palm. “i can just put my fingers in? or my mouth? i can be really gentle.”
you end up letting him fuck you actually anyway because he’s so fucking cute and honestly the period horniness is really fucking getting you going.
and he’s weirdly into the blood, stares down between your bodies with wide eyes the whole time, mesmerized by the red on his cock(well, on the condom, he wears those since minho basically forced a whole box on him and gave him a very awkward but necessary sex ed talk after the after pill incident) when he pulls out.
“it looks pretty on me.” he mumbles once. “like we’re mixing together.”
fucking weirdo.
he means well tho. we know that.
another time your back is killing you after a long day at work. you tell him you’re too sore for sex.
“why does your back hurt stop us?” he asks, already crawling between your legs. “did i do something wrong? can i make it not hurt? i can do all the work. you can just lay there. i’ll be careful.”
“baby, not now.”
“but please, can i at least put just the tip in?”
he’s not… aggressive about it, just really doesn’t understand, doesn’t have the empathy for this, to try to process how a woman works. but stops begging after you tell him no enough times. so him not really accepting no is not a red flag exactly(we can’t say this about him being a murderer tho), he just doesn’t use his brain enough.
plus most of his knowledge, if not from you, comes from porn.
like take the first time he accidentally brushed a finger against your asshole while fingering you.
“y/n, can i put a finger in there too? just one? it looks really tight. i saw it in a video once. they seemed to like it. can i try?” saw it in a video once, is the key here, what we’re talking about.
he’s so fucking curious and eager and excited about everything. every new thing he learns makes him happier. he wants to try it all, right now, with you.
“can we do it in the kitchen next time? while you’re trying to cook? i saw that once. or in the shower? or can i fuck you while you’re on the phone with someone? i’ll be quiet. mostly.”
and you fucking let him do all.
but as we said, his love never feels purely physical. he loves you more than anything and it shows.
but naturally, that love can get exhausting. sooner or later. sooner. you feel it.
it’s been weeks of this, the apartment slowly feeling less like a place you visit and more like a… cage you live in. you love the attention in small doses, but you’re starting to need air. you need space. you need to feel like an own person again instead of the emotional support pocketpussy for these two. (fun fact, minho has a pocketpussy, uses it lots too. jisung doesn’t know about it)
so one night, after jisung has spent twenty straight minutes whining because you said you wanted to go home for one fucking night, you sit them both down on the couch.
“we need to talk.” you say.
jisung watches you with big eyes. minho leans back, arms crossed.
you lay it out as gently as you can. “i need some space, boys. not forever, just… a couple days where i’m not here every single night. i love being with you both but i’m losing myself a little. i need to breathe, go to my own apartment, see my friends, sleep in my own bed. i need time for myself too.”
silence.
jisung is looking at you with big confused eyes. “space? why do you need space? i don’t ask for that much, i just want you here. you know i get bad when you’re gone. last time you left for the whole day i couldn’t even eat properly. minho had to make me food.”
no. this is not right.
that’s what his pretty head tells him now.
what’s up with y/n?
minho looks at jisung, then back at you. “you feeling overwhelmed?”
“yeah, i do. i like you both, i really do, but this is moving way too fast. i feel like i barely have a life outside this apartment anymore. jisung throws a fit everytime i try to leave for work, it’s exhausting.”
jisung makes this pathetic little scoffing sound. “i don’t throw fits, i just tell you the truth. you leaving makes me feel bad, that’s not my fault. it’s yours.”
he’s been getting bitchy lately, and it’s only gotten worse since you started fucking. he has learned how to be a whiny little shit when he doesn’t get his way.
you sigh. “baby, you literally stomped around the apartment yesterday because i had a dinner thing with friends. you kept saying ‘but what about me’ over and over.”
“because what about me?” his pretty voice rises. “you always go do stuff with other people but i’m right here. i’m the one who needs you. they don’t. i do. minho, tell her she doesn’t need space, tell her it’s fine. we’re happy like this.”
minho looks between you two, then back at you. “i don’t want you feeling like that.” he says quietly. him being quiet is a big part of the manipulation, by the way. “i just… really liked you having here. you’re right, we might have gotten carried away with having you every—“
“i thought you liked being with me. you said you liked me.” jisung cuts in.
“i do like you.” you say, starting to feel guilty, you’re trying not to. “this isn’t about not liking you, it’s about me needing me time sometimes.“
minho puts a hand on jisung’s shoulder. “easy. she’s allowed to say this stuff. we’re talking like adults.” but even minho’s voice has this sweet, almost pleading undertone. “it’s been good having you around, we did get carried away. we didn’t see what you needed.”
“we like you here. that’s what people who care about each other do, right minho?” jisung asks.
minho nods slowly, eyes on you.
you feel cornered. they’re doing something. talking to each other. acting like they’re being so understanding.
“you guys are getting a little ridiculous.” you mumble.
jisung’s face actually takes panic up. “what guys? you know other guys?”
you stare at him. “…you.”
he stares at you. looks genuinely confused.
“you’re clingy. both of you, honestly.”
“i’m not clingy.” minho says. deeply full of shit.
you give him a look.
“i just like you around.” he fucking knows how to talk. what to say. how to say it.
“whatever. i’m going home tonight.” you say. “i’ll come back tomorrow or something, so we can talk it out, okay?”
silence.
jisung stands up, he’s… scary. “what? no. you can’t. you just got here. you said we could do something tonight. why are you doing this? i’ve been waiting all day.”
you turn away, grab your things. “baby, i’m not negotiating. i’m telling you, i’m going home.”
“you sure about tonight? it’s late. we can all just sleep it off and talk more tomorrow.” minho says.
you shake your head. “no. i’m going. i need this.”
“what the fuck y/n?!” jisung cries out. he looks genuinely shocked. sick bitch.
your heart jumps. he scared you, is scaring you.
“jisung, she’s allowed to go home.” minho says, calm, trying to look better than jisung does right now.
“no she’s not!” jisung stomps, eyes big and wet and pissed. “why are you being so mean? i didn’t even do anything wrong today, i was good! i was good! and now you’re punishing me by leaving?”
you sigh. “ji, this isn’t a punishment. i’m tired. i want my own space for one night. even your cats think i live here now.”
you and dori make eye contact. if he could he’d say hi now. hi to you too, dude.
“your own space?” jisung sounds disgusted. “what’s wrong with our space? why the fuck do you suddenly need your stupid apartment so bad?!”
minho stands up, sighs, puts a hand on jisung’s shoulder. “let her go.” even though he wonders, what if this is the beast side of jisung talking now? what if he switched already, just didn’t kill?
these aren’t true, though. this is the normal jisung. just… freaking out.
jisung shrugs minho’s hand off angrily, glaring at you. “you always take her side. fine. go then. go sleep in your stupid empty bed and leave me here feeling bad. see if i care.”
you grab everything, heart pounding. “i’ll text you when i get home, okay?”
jisung doesn’t answer, just crosses his arms and looks away.
minho walks you to the door. “text me too. and take all the time you need tonight. we’ll be fine, he’ll calm down. sorry.”
you nod, exhausted, mumble an okay, and finally leave.
minho sighs. goes back to jisung.
“fucking bullshit!” jisung shouts, stomping around. “she always does this! she just leaves! i hate it! i fucking hate it minho!” he kicks the couch cushion off, then picks it up again and puts it back because he likes it there. “why does she need space so bad? i give her everything, i hold her every night, i tell her i love her, i even eat vegetables when she asks! and she still wants to leave? what the fuck is wrong with her?”
“she’s fine, girls do this. she’ll come back.”
“but what if she doesn’t? what if she decides she’s done with me? i’ll die minho. i’ll actually die. my chest already hurts.” he stomps down the hallway, now mostly talking to himself. just muttering “she’s so mean sometimes. she knows i love her and she still leaves. it’s fucked up. i should be enough for her, why aren’t i enough?”
the bathroom door slams. you can hear the shower turn on.
minho lets out a long breath and runs a hand through his hair.
at least jisung didn’t go out.
that’s great.
he just got angry.
minho can work with that. he can fix that.
he walks into the kitchen, pours himself a drink(he doesn’t usually drink, this one was calling his name, though), and sits down on the couch with a sigh.
god, he loves you.
so he’ll figure this out.
he always does.
he’ll give you tonight, maybe even tomorrow. then he’ll start working on pulling you back in.
you’ll come back.
you always do.
and if you don’t, minho will just have to try harder.
he’s very good at trying harder.
and you do text him when you get home, text jisung too. minho sends a like(average like sender), jisung leaves you on seen.
and you are not an evil little bitch, so you go back to them next night like you said you would, even though you kinda wanted to stay away longer just to prove a point.
the three of you sit in the living room. couch. jisung is pressing up to your side, holding onto you. minho sits across from you. okayyyy therapy session.
“i’m sorry.” he says. “we both are. i didn’t realize how suffocating this has been for you, that’s on me. i should’ve noticed sooner. you’ve been so such good company and we took advantage of that, i’m really sorry.”
jisung is staring at the floor though. he’s not sorry. “i don’t like this. i just missed you, i didn’t do anything wrong. i don’t get why i’m too much.”
let’s compare you two’s first meet when he communicated in okays and smiles, and now he speaks like this. you have been an influence to him. minho’s manipulation has been an influence to him. you two are building this spoiled little whore up.
“jisung, i told you a hundred times already, everyone needs their own company sometimes.”
but jisung doesn’t get that. he can’t get that, since he always needs yours. he never needs anything that is not you. and the problem must be with you, then.
he huffs and looks away. he’s gotten so used to you giving in every single time that any pushback feels like you’re fucking breaking up with him. he just doesn’t understand why relationships are so hard, he didn’t expect this.
“i’m gonna run out for a bit.” minho tells you two, standing up, grabbing his keys. “give you two some time to talk properly. i’ll be back later.”
you narrow your eyes at him.
he leaves before you can call him on it.
the door clicks shut. you and jisung now.
you sigh. stand up. go to the kitchen.
jisung follows you. whines randomly???
“the bed was too empty, i kept waking up looking for you. it made my chest hurt. why do you even need to sleep somewhere else? we have a bed here, it’s big enough.”
you turn around and lean on the opposite counter. “because it’s my place, baby. because sometimes i want to be alone. because i bought that place and like that place and have lots of memories at that place. because i can’t live here.”
“but you kinda already live here. your stuff is here, the cats like you, i like you, minho likes you. why do you do this?”
“because it’s me in your world, not you two in my world.” you barely think he understands that. anyways. “i barely see my friends anymore, i canceled plans three times this month because you threw a fit. everytime i try to have one normal day you act like i’m abandoning you, it’s too much.”
his pretty face twists. pathetic. “i’m too much for you now? now i’m just too much?”
“that’s not what i said—”
“it’s what you mean!” actually raising his voice. stomping. “you liked it when i needed you, you liked when got you flowers. you liked it when i told you how much i missed you, now it’s a problem? make it make sense y/n.”
“you’re being a real bitch right now, you know that?”
he looks surprised. the thought never crossed his empty little head. “i’m not being a bitch, you’re the one who’s changing the rules.”
“oh i’m being the bitch?”
“you’re being the bitch!”
“watch your fucking mouth—“
“no! i waited for you all day yesterday, i didn’t even go out, i stayed here like you wanted and then you still left.”
“i didn’t want you to do that, you thought that yourself.”
“because i love you! i love you so much it makes me feel sick when you’re gone, and you know that! you know and you still left anyway.”
you’re both breathing hard, staring at each other across the small kitchen.
you step forward, grab his face with both hands and kiss him. hard. he makes this surprised little grunt into your mouth before melting into it, kissing you back desperately, hands grabbing your waist, fumbling, squeezing, needing. you push him back until his ass hits the counter, pressing your body against his, eating his face, basically.
then you pull away, and push at his chest. “stop. leave me alone for a bit. i need space.”
he doesn’t let go. “no. don’t, please. i’m sorry i got loud, i’m sorry for the bad words.”
“i told you to leave me alone.”
“but i don’t want to.”
you try to push him away. doesn’t work. “hey. i’m serious.”
“so am i. please. i’m sorry i was mean, i’ll stop, just stay here, please baby please—”
the three cats calmly walk into minho’s room, clearly over the energy in the kitchen.
“you can’t keep doing this shit.” you raise your voice, pushing at his chest again. “every single time i ask for one night, one fucking night, you act like i’m stabbing you in the chest. grow up, jisung.”
his eyes go big. “fuck you. seriously. fuck you.”
you stare at him, stunned.
you never thought he’d ever get like this.
by the way, minho, calmly in some shop, is thinking you two are fucking it out or something. he wouldn’t even guess that this is what’s happening.
“fine!” he yells, pushing himself away from you. “if i’m so annoying then i’ll leave! you want space so bad? here’s your space!”
he turns, slaps around with his hands, leaves the kitchen. you hear the front door slam. then silence.
you stand there for a long moment, heart pounding.
fucking hell.
you feed the cats eventually. you put food in their bowls and sit on the floor, listening to them eat, trying to calm yourself.
now you can’t quite decide if jisung is just dumb, or… there’s something more in there.
something only minho could know of, maybe?
what you don’t know, is that the weird little feeling you just got about jisung, is so true that his personalities switched back in the kitchen. that he really is so in love with you that he wouldn’t hurt you, hence why the “monster” didn’t turn on you.
but now he’s on the dark street. which is, a public space.
and what does he see? oh, a woman in her thirties, walking alone, on her phone.
you already know. jisung grabs her by the throat and slams her into an alley wall so hard her skull cracks against the brick. her phone clatters to the ground. she barely has time to push a sound out before his other hand punches into her stomach, knuckles going deep, dear god that looks like it hurt, feeling things tear inside her.
she folds, gagging. jisung grabs her by the hair and slams her head back into the wall again. and again. and again. each impact makes a horrible sound and slowly blood comes from it, more and more.
he doesn’t care.
he doesn’t care about anything but you.
she tries to claw at his arms. he grabs her by the clothes, yanks her away, then back into the wall. her shirt tears with that, one poor tit spilling out. jisung doesn’t even glance at it. in his normal head he would’ve yelped and covered his eyes because “that’s not y/n’s boob!!” right now, it’s just meat. meaningless. jisung’s other side doesn’t take humans as feeling creatures with their own thoughts dreams and hopes, he sees them as meat. he punches her in the ribs so hard something gives a loud sound inside her.
drops the poor woman to the ground and starts stomping. her chest, her stomach, her face. it was a pretty face. whatever.
the whole thing takes maybe four minutes.
when it’s done he’s standing above her, panting, face and hands dripping red.
remember the guy he killed? when he sat back and the personalities switched again?
they don’t, now.
not even when he comes home.
you’re on the couch, look up when jisung comes in.
your stomach drops straight through the floor. like it actually feels like you have to fall forward, throw up, disappear.
he’s fucking swimming in blood.
it’s everywhere. soaked into his hoodie, the fabric looks black, dripping from his sleeves, smeared across his face, in his hair, on his neck. he’s leaving wet prints on the floor.
he stands there in the doorway breathing hard.
but his little system, his little brain, gets you as someone safe. as someone he can show this side to, like he shows it to minho’s poor ass.
you stand up from the couch. “jisung what the fuck—”
“i hate this!” he shouts. his voice cracks. he has such a pretty voice. he grabs at his own bloody hoodie and rips it over his head, throwing it violently across the room. it lands with a wet little sound. “i hate feeling like this! i tried to leave you alone like you told me to i wanted you to feel better but it made everything worse and then i— i just—” he starts clawing at his own arms, nails digging into his skin, scraping it down. “minho said not to tell you but i want to! i want to tell you who i am! i don’t get why he doesn’t let me!”
take a wild fucking guess, jis.
“i hurt a woman, y/n…” he mumbles. he actually looks adorable. wiping at his little eyes with his hand, how it’s red around his eyes too. “i hurt people sometimes.”
…
come again?
“i don’t know why i do it, it just happens. i always wanted to tell you.” he’s genuinely so beautiful. “i’m normal and then something makes me mad and then i’m hurting people. i kill them. it’s not even that big of a deal i think but minho says it is and he told me not to tell you because you might leave me and now i told you anyway because i can’t lie to you anymore. i’m sorry. i’m so sorry y/n.”
you feel sick.
this is not the lovely sweet dumb jisung you know. it’s creeping you out. your hands are shaking. you feel so weak. you have to take a step back.
his pretty mouth falls as he sees that. he doesn’t want you feeling like that, he doesn’t want a girl feeling like that. in that want he drops to his knees at your feet.
“no no no no no don’t pleaseee, i love you so much. more than anything. more than anything. when you go away i feel like something is… bad.” he’s doing his best, using his vocabulary, words he didn’t use before you. “it hurts so bad. i get so sad. i get angry too. i don’t want to be angry but i can’t stop it.” he’s crying now. he reaches for your leg, pulls his hand back to wipe at his eye instead. still reached for you. “minho says i’m re—really dumb. but i’m not dumb about you. i know you’re the only thing that makes me always good, i know when you touch me everything gets good, i know i’d rather die than not have you. i’d kill myself if you told me to. that’s how much i love you.” he doesn’t know how to say it right.
and even now what you’re thinking about is that minho told him he’s dumb? how could he?
“i’m sorry i’m like this, i’m, i’m sooorry i killed someone tonight. i’m sorry. i’m sorry, so sorry. i’ll try to be better. i’ll try to understand.”
you’re speechless. like completely fucking speechless.
this is your boyfriend. the same guy who whines when you leave for work, who begs for kisses, who gives you all the love he has, which is a lot, just admitted to murdering someone tonight.
you’re terrified.
you’re also… unbearably touched. like, he’s so honest. he felt like he could tell you this. that feels good.
to him killing is just something that happens sometimes. like, i dunno, stubbing your toe. like rain. it comes. okay. and you get that, that he’s trying to explain himself out of something like that.
“i’ll try to be better, i promise, just don’t leave me alone.” he’s rocking slightly, looking up at you with those huge watery eyes. he makes your heart melt. and also jump straight out your chest.
you’re scared of the man you’ve been sleeping next to for weeks.
but you’re also, just again, touched. no one has ever needed you this much, no one has ever laid themselves this bare in front of you. terrifying, wrong. he let you see something that his lifelong best friend, who he follows and looks up to always, told him not to. he’s also going against minho because he loves you too much.
you have no fucking idea what to say. you take a step back. then another. your lip is starting to shake. you’re just… incredibly scared.
you can smell the blood.
“no— y/n wait—” he starts crawling after you, leaves red behind himself, his hands grab at your pants, fisting the fabric so tight so you can’t back up anymore. “please don’t walk away.” tears are going over the blood on his face. “i’m sorry i’m like this, i’m sorry i killed her. i’m sorry. living with minho before you was so… nothing.” again, struggling to use words he’s not familiar with, like the perfect wording here would be that before you it was so empty, but he doesn’t have the time to think about that now, of course. “i would wake up and eat and sometimes kill and come home and pet the cats and go to sleep. you made everything good. i’ll try so hard to be better. i’ll stop killing if you want.” he doesn’t know why would you be this scared, he doesn’t have the empathy for that, but he can see you’re scared and wants you not to be. “i’ll do anything. i can’t breathe when you look at me like that.” that’s true. he’s really panicking.
this is the man you let fuck you. this is the man you let sleep next to you. this is the man you really really like, love, no matter how he acts.
“minho takes care of me but it’s different. he cleans the blood and tells me what to do but he doesn’t make me feel warm inside. only you do that. i don’t know how to be without you. please.”
please, please, please. always please.
his thoughts say the same.
please please please.
he’s terrified too.
you close your eyes. let your face shake a bit. then open them again, reach down, cup his bloody face with both hands.
“hey.” you mumble, crouching down.
kissing him.
it’s a soft kiss. comforting.
he freezes, then melts into you with a sob, kissing you back desperately, bloody hands coming up to hold your wrists. he’s adorable. really purely loving you.
you still love me.
when you pull back his eyes are big and shiny and shocked and full. “y/n…”
you… don’t know what you’re looking at. sure, it’s the same pretty face, but a completely new jisung in there. (no, not at all. the same jisung kills and the same jisung sits at home and pets the cats. only you think it’s a different person. he’s not.)
the second you take your hands off his bloody face(ew, ew, ew) he starts hitting the side of his head with his fist, hard. “stupid stupid stupid.” he mutters, smacking himself again. “you’re so fucking stupid jisung. you scared her. you always ruin everything. stupid—”
you grab his wrist and pull his hand away. “hey, stop. don’t do that.”
he looks up at you, eyes red, swollen, teary, adorable, lips trembling. you have genuinely never seen this man look more beautiful, no matter how terrified you are of him.
you push at his chest. he lets you. he falls back onto the floor on his back, onto the smeared blood he left there. just lies there the pillow princess, staring up at you with those big wet eyes.
you get on top of him.
hours later the front door opens slowly. minho steps inside, fucks around with his keys a bit, turns to lock the door. locks it. turns towards the living room.
his heart fucking stops.
blood.
everywhere.
dried drops. long smeared streaks. a bloody handprint on the wall near the hallway. a big dark puddle near the couch that’s already brown. it smells horrible in here.
he has… never been more scared.
he’s convinced jisung killed you. he killed you. the love of his life. the love of minho’s life. your body might be somewhere in the apartment, torn apart. he almost pukes.
so you’re dead somewhere in this apartment because minho was selfish. he should’ve never left, he should’ve stayed and handled it. now look where that ended. jisung’s going to absolutely fall together. you’re dead. dead because of him.
“no… no no no—”
he drops his keys and basically runs, shoes slipping on the dried blood as he sprints down the hallway toward jisung’s room.
he slams the door open so hard it bangs against the wall.
you’re there. alive. he barely dies from the relief.
you look beautiful. sitting on jisung’s bed, back to the headboard, looking completely fucking empty. your eyes are open but you’re staring at nothing, face pale, dried blood on your hands and shirt. there’s blood on the pillow, blood on the sheets. jisung is cuddled up to your side. he’s still in his bloody clothes. he’s asleep.
you’re petting jisung’s hair.
you turn your head when minho comes in.
“get out.” you tell him. so flat. quiet. something he has never heard from you before.
his lips shake. he nods and backs out of the room, closing the door softly behind him.
“fuck… fuck fuck fuck.” he whispers outside. panic looks good on this man. really good. but you still wouldn’t fuck him. well, more than for one reason(jisung) now.
he stands there trying to pull himself together. then forces himself to move, it really is forced by his poor little brain. those slutty thick man legs can barely come off the floor.
he grabs towels, the mop, the strongest cleaner they have that he bought for this side of jisung specifically. he wipes up every drop, every streak, every handprint. the disgusting blood smell stays on his hands as he works. he’s going crazy.
so jisung had switched. that much is obvious. and instead of killing you, he came home and… confessed? cried all over you? whatever, he’ll find out, what he knows is rhat you’re still in there. still touching him in a loving manner. that must mean something that’s good for minho now.
good for minho. he only thinks about himself again.
the streaks on the floor take forever, the big puddle has soaked into the wood. he’s on his hands and knees scrubbing. he deserves to be on his hands and knees. but he also looks good on them.
fuck cares.
he’s relieved. so fucking relieved you’re alive he could cry.
but he’s also scared, because this means that jisung’s other side is still absolutely there. he underestimated the situation.
halfway through he stops. he’s tired, and needs to think. he sits down on the floor, and puts his head between his knees. big, slow breaths. in through the nose, out through the mouth. his eyes are burning.
he almost lost you tonight.
and he loves you.
and this changes things. you know now. you know jisung is a murderer. well, minho supposes you know. you weren’t hurt so his best guess is that jisung came home after a kill, you freaked out, he confessed or something.
but after whatever happened, inside jisung’s room, you’re letting him sleep on you. means you didn’t immediately break up. means something. good girl.
he sits there on the floor for a long time. staring at nothing.
he’ll give you tonight. he’ll let you sit in that room and process whatever the fuck just happened, he’ll even let you sit on his face, for god’s sake. okay that’s… not a big thing and not even related, he just wants you to. anyways. tomorrow he’ll start working on this again, softer this time, gentler. he’ll keep your needs in mind, especially after what just happened to you tonight. whatever happened to you tonight. he’ll make jisung behave.
he finishes cleaning the floor eventually. throws jisung’s hoodie into the trash. covers it up with other things. just like always.
you’re alive. but you’re not okay. he’ll make sure you never look at him the way you just did.
he doesn’t sleep that night, lies in his bed staring at the ceiling for hours. he’s a fucking wreck. when he finally hears the water running in the bathroom early in the morning, his stomach drops. he sits up fast, listening. no screams. no fighting. just water. he curls up under the blanket. he’s actually cute. he’s too scared to see what state you’re both in right now. he can’t look you in the eye. he wants to.
in the bathroom the tub is slowly filling with warm water. you know how warm your beautiful boyfriend likes his water. you’re standing against the sink, arms crossed, still in the same bloody shirt from last night. jisung is right next to you, turned toward you, big dumb eyes watching your face. he’s confused. but he trusts you, with his whole being.
“when did it start?” you ask quietly. “the killing. that you… do this.
he tilts his head, thinking really hard. “um. i don’t know exactly. i was younger. maybe fourteen? fifteen? i got mad at this kid at school once and then i hurt him. i didn’t even mean to do it that bad, it just happened. minho found me after and helped me clean up. he’s always helped me clean up. i didn’t think it was a big deal at first, minho said it was bad though. he told me to stop but i can’t.”
you swallow. “does minho help you hide the bodies?”
“sometimes, i usually just leave them there. but sometimes he goes back to after i tell him how i did it.” so when minho judges it as something that jisung can be traced back from. “he’s really good at it. he tells me what to do after. he cleans a lot. without him i think i would’ve gotten caught already. he’s smart. i’m not smart.”
“and you don’t feel bad about it? about the people you hurt?”
he shrugs. “sometimes. but no. they’re just people. not you. not minho. not the cats. so it doesn’t feel important. minho says that’s wrong but i don’t get why.”
you feel fucking sick. “take your clothes off, jis.”
he gets off his bloody shirt, then his pants and boxers. he steps into the tub slowly, so sweetly, lowering his big body into the warm water with a soft sigh.
you sit down on the mat next to the tub.
he watches you. he looks adorable sitting in the water like that. “minho takes care of me since we were young. he tells me when i did something stupid. he says i can’t kill every time i feel mad. he says he’s the only one who stayed with me even when i was really bad. before you.” minho fed this to him. “he’s really smart about that stuff, i don’t know how he knows all that. he gets really stressed about it. i think he worries a lot. sometimes i hear him walking around at night. i think he’s scared i’ll do it in the apartment one day, but i wouldn’t. not where you sleep. i love you too much.”
you reach down into the water, then up into his hair, wetting it slowly. fuck, blood. fuck, fuck, fuck. but you try to act unfazed so you don’t hurt his big feelings. “i love you too. do you know why it happens? that you want to hurt people.”
jisung shakes his head under your hands. the water is turning pink. suits him. “no. it just happens. one second i’m normal and thinking about you and then something makes me mad or someone bumps me and then i’m not calm anymore. i only do it when i’m mad. and i don’t get mad at you. never. even when we fight i don’t get that kind of mad.”
“thank you. do you know it’s wrong? killing people?”
“minho says it is. he says normal people don’t do that, but it doesn’t feel wrong to me. but i know you don’t like it. that’s why i feel bad now. because you’re scared. i don’t want you to be scared of me.” he reaches out of the water with one wet hand and gently touches your arm. dumb fuck really just wants contact now, your comfort. “i’m sorry i scared you, i just couldn’t keep it inside anymore. minho always said if i told you, you would break up with me, but i don’t want secrets with you.”
“that’s sweet. i appreciate that lots.” you sigh, pull away, pour shampoo into your hands. start washing his hair, fingers massaging his scalp gently.
he leans into your touch with a dumb little sound, eyes closed. “minho likes having you here too. he doesn’t say it but i can tell. he watches you when you’re not looking. he gets happy when you stay. i know that.”
ah, after that party that jisung will never know about if it’s up to you and minho, you’re sure about that.
you rinse his hair, watching pinkish water run down his neck and shoulders. you wash what you can reach, his arms, feeling the healing texture of the scratches on them that he left yesterday, his chest, the back of his neck, kneeling beside the tub sometimes.
he tilts his head back into your hands, a hundred percent trusting.
you stop.
lean down and press a soft kiss to jisung’s wet cheek.
other people’s insides on his skin be damned. you love this man too much.
he makes this tiny relieved sound and tilts his head up, eyes opening. pathetic. “nhh… one on my mouth too? please?”
you kiss him there too. slow. gentle. he sighs into it, one hand coming up to hold your wrist.
“c’mon sungie.” you pull away, standing up. “let’s go. we’re going to my place today.”
“your place?” he says, climbing out of the tub, water sloshing everywhere. dipshit. “really? i like your place.”
“yeah. get dressed.”
he dries up with a towel. puts deodorant on, that’s important, he knows that. throws on clean clothes, still wet hair sticking up in every possible fucking direction. he lets you grab his hand and drag him through the apartment.
you’re halfway through the living room when minho’s door opens.
he looks like absolute shit. eyes red, hair fucked up, face pale. he looks unstable. scared. actually scared for the first time since you’ve known him.
“y/n, what happened? are you— is everything—”
“we’re going out.” you keep dragging jisung toward the door, fingers tight around his big hand. jisung follows hap pily, no resistance there. he’d follow you into a burning building if you told him to.
the fear on minho’s face. panic. “if you’re taking him to the police or—”
“i’m not. we’re just going to my place. i don’t want to see you right now, minho.”
he stops. his mouth opens. watches you pull jisung out the front door and close it behind you.
so. you’re not mad at jisung. he’s fucked up, yeah, deeply, disturbingly, this scared you, but you can’t be angry at someone that simple. that honest. because he doesn’t do anything with a bad intention, absolutely not. he does it exactly because there is no bad intention, because there isn’t any intention. something is wrong with his mind, but he’s not evil or anything like that.
but minho knew. minho knew everything and he still let you live this deep with them, with jisung. he encouraged it. he manipulated you, he lied to you, he used jisung’s let’s say disability to guilt you. he lied to you every single day. he watched you fall for jisung knowing what you were sleeping next to, and said nothing.
that’s why you’re furious at minho, that’s why you couldn’t look at him, that’s why you’re dragging jisung to your apartment instead of staying in theirs. you’re not scared of jisung at all, he told you and you know he wouldn’t hurt you, you just can’t stand the sight of minho’s face.
minho, on the other hand, is zero anger and all panic. the arch opposite of you. (let’s not talk about jisung who sees the world as fucking rainbows and unicorns) he sits on the couch after you leave, he had to sit down, staring at the floor.
he feels completely out of control. is he losing his best friend? is he losing the girl he loves? or does this just need some time? or is it already over?
he starts calling you. once. twice. five times. ten. voicemail everytime. he doesn’t leave messages.
okay, then he’ll call jisung.
he picks up though. “hey minho.”
“jisung. put y/n on the phone. please.”
“mmm… nooo. she doesn’t want to talk right now. sorry man. you should really go do something else. maybe hang out with chan? or take a walk? we’re okay here”
minho’s stomach drops. but he’s also relieved, so you really didn’t take jisung to the police. he trusts that. “jisung, please. just let me talk to her for one minute. i need to know she’s okay.”
“she’s okay. she’s right here next to me. we’re at her place. she’s letting me cuddle her. i think she’s still a little mad at you though, you should give her time. like… a lot of time. okay? bye minho. love you.”
the fucking dickhead then hangs up.
minho might actually murder someone like jisung sometimes does atp.
back at your apartment, you and jisung are on your bed. he’s cuddled up to you, head on your chest, body wrapped around you. you run your fingers through his hair slowly.
“minho used to tell me you would get really angry at me if you found out. he said you’d hate me. that you’d leave and never come back. that’s why i didn’t tell you. i was scared. i didn’t want you to go.” he tells you.
you keep stroking his hair. you love his hair. you understand him. “i’m not angry, just shocked. what you do, it’s horrible. no offense. but i’m not angry at you, you didn’t do it with a… bad purpose, at least as you told me. you’re not choosing to be like this. and you told me the truth, i appreciate that.”
he lifts his head a little, big eyes watching your face.
you look back at him. swipe the hair out of his pretty face. “i’m angry at minho though. really angry. he lied to me every single day, that’s what hurts the most. he treated me bad.”
“minho’s not bad, he takes care of me.”
“i know he takes care of you, but he also used you. and he used me. that’s a bad thing to do, jisung, i need time away from him. i don’t want to see him now.”
he nods slowly, then presses his face back into your chest, squeezing you tighter. it’s sweet, he needs you tighter. “okay. if you don’t want to see him then i don’t want to see him either.“
“thank you. and i still like you the same, hope you know that.” as if he knows anything except he loves you, loves the cats, minho, and what safe sex is. “i’m still processing everything you told me, but i still like you, jisung. i still care about you. this doesn’t make me stop liking you, don’t think that, okay? i’m gonna need time to figure out how i feel about all of it, but i’m not leaving you. don’t worry about that at all. forget it, this is up to me now.”
you’re making such a good impression. communication, honesty, fairness. you are the best.
he makes this relieved little whimper. “thank you. i was so scared you’d hate me. i don’t know what i would do if you hated me.“
you press a kiss to the top of his head and close your eyes.
you two sleep like that for about noon. both of you really need it. the closeness, the rest. doing that is literally the best thing you two could have done.
well until the knocking on your door.
jisung lifts his head from your chest, blinking his dumb eyes awake. “who’s that?”
your stomach drops. “don’t open it.”
yeah you’re talking to the fucking wall jisung is already out of bed. he doesn’t even bother putting a shirt back on, just walks to the door in his sweats, rubbing his pretty eye.
he opens the door.
and who else than minho is standing there looking like absolute hell. the second he sees jisung he tries to push past him.
“hey dude, let me in. just five minutes. i know she’s mad, i just—”
jisung puts one hand on minho’s chest and holds him back like it’s nothing. minho is strong for his size but nothing to jisung when jisung wants something. he doesn’t even look like he’s trying.
“no.” jisung is actually so cute?? “she doesn’t want to see you right now. she told me.”
minho looks desperate. “jis, come on man. it’s me. i’m not gonna hurt her. i just need to explain. i fucked up, okay? i know i fucked up, just let me talk to her, she’ll understand if i can just—”
“she said no.” he pushes minho back a step. “you were really mean to her. you lied. you made her stay when she didn’t want to sometimes. she’s angry at you. i don’t want her to be angry. so you should go.”
“dude… please. you’re my best friend, don’t do this. i’m sorry. i was trying to protect you, i was trying to keep everything okay, i didn’t mean for it to get this bad—”
“i know. i still love you, dude. but you hurt y/n, and she’s my girlfriend. so you should go home. maybe tomorrow she’ll want to talk. but not tonight.”
“ji—”
“no. go home minho. i’ll text you later.” then, he gently pushes minho back again and closes the door in his face. locks the door.
minho… who the fuck cares about minho, inside, jisung turns around and walks back to the bed with you.
he crawls back into your arms.
“it was minho. i told him to go. he looked really sad. but you said you didn’t want to see him so i made him leave, was that okay?”
you’re stunned. “…yeah baby. that was okay. thank you. so much.”
he makes a happy little sound and squeezes you. “good.”
what a fucking mess.
it becomes very clear, very fast, that jisung has made his choice.
between his best friend of years and his girlfriend, he picks you every single time. no hesitation. his empty head doesn’t have room for complicated loyalty tests anyway, minho’s important, but you’re everything.
you’ve decided minho is the bigger psycho. jisung is fucked up, yeah, but at least he’s honest about it. dumb as a bag of rocks, but honest. what minho did is scarier to you, way scarier.
minho tries anyway. he shows up at your workplace two days later. you’re on your break when felix, your colleague(and he was jisung’s friend before your colleague, small world, he doesn’t know minho personally though), spots him first.
“oi, mate, you can’t be back here.” lix tells him, stepping in front of minho before he can’t even get close to you. “this is staff only, yeah? you looking for someone? i can pass a message if you want, man.”
minho tries to look around him. “i just need to talk to y/n for—”
“naaah dude, i don’t think that’s possible. sorry man, but you gotta go. don’t make it weird, yeah?”
minho looks fucked. like someone yanked him around by the hair and added two slaps on his face for good measure. then felix fucking gently herds him toward the exit, saying “take care bro, hope you sort it out” while minho tries to find you with his eyes.
he tries with jisung next. jisung works at a small auto repair shop, mostly doing oil changes and tire stuff. he’s surprisingly good with his hands when it’s cars and not people. minho shows up during jisung’s shift. jisung is halfway under a car when he sees him.
“minho!” jisung says, sliding out of under the car, wiping his hands on a rag. he sounds happy. “what are you doing here?”
“i just wanted to talk.” minho says quietly.
“i can’t really talk to you about y/n, if that’s what you came for. it wouldn’t be right. but i can talk to you about other things.” again, brutal development, in his way of talking, in the way he expresses himself, the potential in jisung is getting brought out better day by day.
“jis, come on. don’t let this—”
“hey, no.” jisung says, standing up. minho knows he won’t win a physical thing. “i love you dude but you hurt her. she’s still mad, i gotta respect that. maybe later. but not now.”
one of jisung’s colleagues, seungmin, walks by carrying a wrench and some paperwork about a client. “minho, you still creeping around? fuck off, han’s working. go cry somewhere else, hm?” he’s grinning like a fucking shithead. “your little boyfriend’s busy, go suck a tailpipe or something.”
changbin, other colleague and buddies with both minho and jisung, walks over more gently. “minho, man… maybe give it some time.” he puts a hand on minho’s shoulder. “han’s made his choice for now. pushing won’t help. go home, yeah? i’ll call you, you can tell me what happened.”
oh minho is getting pissed. but leaves. fuck’s sake.
the same night, jisung tells you “minho came to my work today. but i picked you. i’ll always pick you.”
you stroke his hair. “thank you.”
he’s happy and content now that he’s with you. “i love you more than him.”
you kiss his head.
yeah it’s nice living with just him. well he still goes back to minho’s apartment sometimes, but only for practical shit. he spends a little time with the cats (especially soonie who he carries around like a baby), gives minho an awkward hug, then comes back to you.
“i missed you.” he always says when he comes home. he’ll make a good husband like that. “the cats said hi. minho looked sad but he said to tell you he’s sorry again, can we go to bed now?”
he’s a clingy little selfish asshole. but you don’t mind. if you’re brushing your teeth he’s standing in the doorway watching, if you’re on the couch he’s on top of you, if you go to the bathroom he waits outside the door or just goes in because he does not care about anything that comes out of you, finds periods cool, even, you slap his hands away sometimes though. he’s a lot but it’s nice. in a weird way. you’ve never been loved this hard by anyone.
and he’s still so fucking needy. he’s so desperate to please you. he’ll do anything you ask. he learns fast when you guide him.
one kiss and he’s already hard. you trained the nickname baby boy into the bedroom (you and minho aren’t that different then, no?) so when you now call him baby boy he moans. like in public too. little bitch. oh, also, he loves when you finger his ass. especially when he gets stimulated on his dick too. “y/n… put your finger in again? please? it feels so full and good when you do both…” his moans are to die for.
he cums fast and he cums a lot. and he gets hard again unbelievably quick. he’s always asking for new things, that’s actually always good for a sex life.
“can we do it out in the balcony? i saw it once. can i bite your arm while i’m inside you? not too hard, just enough so it stays. can i eat you out after i cum? i like the taste…”
he’s so pure. helps you learn that him killing is not what all he is, it’s just a little thing compared to this amazing boyfriend.
and you have noooo idea why everytime you show up at jisung’s auto shop with lunch for him, both changbin and seungmin look at you with pretty weird stares…
obviously because jisung tells them everything. he told them about you spitting in his mouth. he told them about riding him while rubbing your clit. he told them about the time you made him cum just from your fingers down his throat. he told them about how good you two’s first time was. he told them about your fingers in his ass. he told them about the positions. the noises. that he feels like a man when you two do it. everything.
changbin is a proper man. to the point he calls you miss, brings you water if you’re waiting for jisung, asks how you’re doing. he’s an angel. but he knows way too much.
seungmin on the other hand quite literally cackles like a fucking asshole whenever you show up. it’s about knowing you so well without you telling him anything, he likes you though. thinks you’re fair. would like… totally shoot his shot with you if by any chance you and jisung broke up.
jisung of course doesn’t realize how much he overshares, he just thinks they’re his friends so they should know how happy he is. you have no clue why they’re being so weird, you just think they’re happy jisung finally has a girlfriend.
you bring him lunch, give him a little kiss on the cheek, tell him to eat properly, and leave while seungmin is imitating a blowjob with two hands behind jisung’s back.
he really is so happy with you. he feels loved. he hasn’t killed since that night. not one single time. your whole being, living with you, you being his only love now absolutely puts you first place in his head. it’s always
y/n :)
seungmin is funny.
oh cat. hello.
y/n :)
yeah something like that.
and you’re slowly accepting him like that. like, already in the process of it and both of you know that. you really are fine.
minho, on the other hand, is going fucking crazy. grown ass man sitting in an empty apartment losing his fucking smart mind. he misses jisung, being followed around, he misses cleaning up after him, he misses being needed, he misses you. he misses the mature conversations because lets be honest the others are all kinda dumb. all of the boys. and you were his only woman friend, the only actually smart one too. he misses that party where you two kissed, he misses that whole night.
he knows it’s his own fucking fault. he knows he’s the reason jisung chose you over him.
he doesn’t feel bad about it.
this lose, no matter how huge it was, didn’t make him less evil. didn’t change him, just his mental health for the moment. he can admit to himself that he did terrible things, and not feel guilt. he feels regret, sure, regret that it backfired. regret that he lost control. regret that you’re not here where he wants you.
he thinks he was right, believes that keeping you here was necessary. that jisung needed you. that he needed you. that the ends justified every lie. he would do it again if he thought it would work, he’s just mad it didn’t.
so. your daily routine, now without minho’s toxic presence, is… nothing extra. it’s sweet. good, living with jisung. he’s great to live with, just the two of you. like, you two always wake up cuddling. that’s sweet.
“hi.” he mumbles into your skin. “can we do it before you leave? just quick. please? i missed you in my sleep.”
yeah he’s… big on morning sex. he’s really sexual, in general, but that’s only good for the “rebuilding” of your relationship. his morning wood agrees.
some mornings you let him. some mornings you don’t. either way he’s happy just being close to you.
when you make your little breakfast he clings to your back, annoying little dumb bitch, arms around your waist, chin on your shoulder, watching everything you do.
“why do you put that much milk? i like it darker. but if you like it like that then it’s good. everything you do is good.”
you go to work. he learned to tolerate being away from you. again, process, in both the relationship and in him only. it’s healthy. he kisses you goodbye, tells you he loves you, lets you go.
your days at work feel lighter too, knowing it’s not pressure you’ll go home to. the hours pass quicker. nowadays you don’t even notice felix staring at your ass, because you’re in your head about your boyfriend too. in the good way.
when you get home jisung picks you up sometimes, well shit why is he so strong, and gives you love like he gives the cats love. he’s an actual angel, he’s so much better. he also loves telling you about everything that happened to him. “seungmin said my oil change was clean today. changbin gave me a soda. they asked about you again. seungmin keeps smiling weird when i talk about you. i don’t know why.” because he knows y/n had her finger in your ass, dumbass.
some evenings you fuck. sex with him is… good, there’s lots of it. he’s addicted, kinda. he’s fucked you in every single room of your apartment. on the kitchen counter (almost knocked over your flowers, your beloved flowers), bent over the couch, in the shower, against the wall by the front door, on the working washing machine, in front of the windows, on the windows, on the floors, anything you can imagine.
he almost knocked you up like four times already because he gets so lost in it he forgets the condom. thank god minho drilled safe sex into his thick skull before everything went to shit.
“minho said i have to wear it every time.” he told you once, very seriously, while rolling it on. “he said if i get you pregnant you might leave me and then i would die. so i’ll wear it. even though it feels better without.”
he just needs to put all that love out in some way. that’s sex, to him.
he’s getting better with jealousy too. he used to lose his mind if any guy even looked at you, now when felix comes over, jisung is mostly okay. well, it’s a huge help that he already knew felix before getting to know you, but he still hovers a little but he lets you two hang out. sometimes you even leave them in the living room to play while you do your own thing. they get along well.
“he can come over again if you want.” jisung told you after lix left one night.
there we go.
he’s sweet, after all.
every few days he goes back to minho’s place for a couple hours. he always tells you first. “i need to get more clothes and check on the cats. i’ll be back before it gets dark okay? i promise.” you let him go. you know he needs it, he needs the cats, and he still needs minho a little, even if he chose you.
now let’s look into his dumb head too. his days are more simple and centered entirely around you. we know he wakes up with you, spends the morning with you, following you from room to room. when you leave for work he does his own thing for a bit before leaving for work. he’s surprisingly reliable when it comes to cars, he likes the work. likes fixing things with his hands. but mostly he thinks about you.
when he goes back to minho’s apartment it’s always a little bittersweet.
“how is y/n?” minho always asks. he still really, really wants you back. some of it is the attachment, some of it is his own ego.
jisung is helpful though. “she’s good. she’s happy i think. we had sex yesterday, it was really nice. she spit in my mouth again.”
minho rubs his face and pulls his hands down. the oh my fucking god bro picture from the first part. he’s in pain but keeps listening. he misses jisung. he misses you. he’s going slowly insane. he still thinks he can fix it if he’s patient enough.
jisung doesn’t stay long, he pets the cats, talks to minho for a bit, then says “i gotta go back to y/n. she’s waiting for me.” and leaves. everytime.
so. you’re getting along with the thought of your boyfriend also having that side. he told you everything he had to told about it, for now you’re just happy it didn’t come out again. you also have an evil, manipulative ex roommate and ex almost situationship(which you don’t really care about, the kiss didn’t change anything to you like you two talked about, you don’t lie around like minho does) and whatever something will happen with that too sooner or later.
sooner.
you’ve been waiting for jisung all evening now. look at that, you’re wearing pretty lingerie under your big hoodie and shorts. black. the pretty see through bra. the little thong that always makes him stupid when he sees it. he really likes it when you’re extra pretty. (sigh, minho would too. and jeongin. and chan. you know what also starts with chan, changbin. also seu—) the second he walks through that door you’re gonna drag him to the bedroom and fuck him senseless. tonight he’s getting absolutely fucking railed. he’s been so good lately. he deserves it. tonight you want to reward him.
but he’s late.
oh, then knocking.
you smile, walking to the door. “forgot your keys at the shop again, you big dummy?”
you open the door.
it’s minho.
he looks like shit. why is he still pretty though? the second he sees you(after about a month now?) his whole body changes, his posture, his energy, his eyes, his want.
you freeze. “what the fuck are you doing here?”
“we need to talk.” he’s calm… too calm.
“no. go away. i told you i don’t want to see you.”
you try to close the door but he puts his hand on it. “y/n.”
“fuck off, minho. i’m serious. leave.”
he doesn’t. instead he puts his palm flat on the middle of your chest, and pushes you back into the apartment. he follows and slams the door behind him, locking it with a soft click.
now you’re panicking. breathing fast, he think that looks good on you.
“i know what i did.” he tells you. this man is inside your home. “i lied to you, i kept shit from you, i used jisung to keep you here. that was wrong, i see that now. but i did it because it worked, because you made him better. i wasn’t trying to hurt you. jis was stable. i did what i thought i had to do, and i miss you.” his eyes flick down to your body, can he sense the lingerie under your clothes?, then back up to your face.
“i don’t care. you’re worse than he is. at least he doesn’t pretend to be normal, get the fuck out of my place.”
“don’t pretend you don’t know why i did it, you saw how he was without you, you saw how empty he is, i was trying to protect him.“
you really fucking hate him right now. “you didn’t tell me anything.”
“if i had, you would’ve left him.”
“you lied to my face every single day.”
“i did what i had to do.”
“you watched me fall for him knowing exactly what he was.”
“and i protected you from the worst of it.”
“you’re a fucking control freak.”
“i built something that worked. i did it for him. i chose his life over your comfort.”
you’re about to scream at him when the front door opens. jisung steps inside, humming under his breath, he looks up. “minho?” he says happily. “what are you doing here—” then his slow brain catches up. he sees the way you’re standing, the tension in the room, the fact that minho is inside when he shouldn’t be. his smile dies. “…hey man. what are you doing here? y/n didn’t say you were coming.”
“i didn’t let him in. he pushed his way inside.” you tell him. you’re obviously seeking him now. you need jisung.
“…he pushed you? but… how is he inside then? the door was closed. did he break it?”
you want to scream. “jis. he forced himself in. he pushed me back and walked inside even though i told him to leave.”
his face slowly changes. he looks at minho, genuinely lost. “why did you do that? she said she doesn’t want to see you. she told me. i told you that too. why are you here if she doesn’t want you?”
minho turns to jisung. “i just needed to talk to her. things have been bad between us and i wanted to fix it. you understand, right? we’ve been through everything together, i’m not trying to hurt anyone.”
jisung shifts on his feet, uncomfortable. he looks at you, then back at minho. you can see the conflict. minho has years of control over him, but you’re the one he’s in love with now. “but… she said no. i have to listen to her. she’s my girlfriend. she said no.”
minho takes a small step closer to jisung. “i know, but this is important. don’t you want things to go back to how they were? all three of us?”
jisung looks torn. his big dumb eyes flick to you again, searching.
you shake your head.
minho looks back at you. “i get it, y/n.” it sounds so good when he says your name. “you’re pissed, you should be, i lied, i manipulated shit, but i did it because—”
“no.” jisung cuts in, stepping half in front of you. “don’t listen to him y/n. he made you stay when you didn’t want to. he’s the reason you got scared of me, he’s bad for you.”
minho pushes on jisung’s shoulder. “i was trying to protect both of you.”
jisung stomps. “you were trying to keep her for yourself too! you lied everyday, you were bad. she doesn’t want you here, minho. she told me.”
you try to speak, try to actually talk it out. “minho, you—”
“i know i fucked up the way i did it, but the result was good, you were happy here, we worked, the three of us, you can’t tell me you didn’t feel it too—”
“she was happy with me!” jisung is louder. “not because of you, because of y/n and me. you’re the reason she left in the first place!”
minho sighs. “i’m not asking you to forgive me right now, i’m asking you to—”
“don’t listen to him y/n he’s just gonna lie again and make you stay when you don’t want to—”
“—understand why i did what i did. jis needs you, i need you here too. not just for him—”
“you don’t need her! you just want to control everything again! she’s mine now, she chose me—”
“guys, stop—”
minho reaches for your hand, hand around your wrist. “just hear me out for one minute. that’s all i’m asking.”
jisung grabs your other hand at the exact same time. “no. don’t touch her. she doesn’t want you touching her.”
they’re both pulling. fucking back at forth.
“y/n, come on. you know me. you know i’m not trying to hurt you—”
jisung yanks harder. “let go of her hand! she’s my girlfriend! she told you to leave! stop trying to take her back!”
“both of you fucking stop—”
“i’m not taking anything, i’m asking you to remember how good it was when we were all together—”
“it was good because of her, not because of you!”
minho pulls. “you’re being selfish right now jis. she deserves to hear both sides—”
jisung yanks back harder. “you’re the selfish one! you lied to her for months! she’s scared of you now!”
fucking circus. these two have never been like this before.
and you kind of… get minho now. you actually understand where he’s coming from. he did all that fucked up shit for what he thought was a good reason, he lied, he manipulated, because he genuinely believed it was the only way to keep his best friend stable and okay. it was wrong, really fucking wrong, but you can see the logic now, the good intention.
“okay, hey. i kind of get it. the reason, at least. not the way you did it, but why you thought you had to. just… talk. say what you need to say.” you tell him.
he’s visibly relieved. he opens his mouth to speak.
but well, jisung is faster. “no. no no no. don’t listen to him y/n. don’t.”
jisung has absolutely changed since he started staying with you. living away from minho has forced him to grow. when he lived with minho, he was dependent, minho made the decisions, minho cleaned up the messes, minho told him what was okay and what wasn’t. jisung never had to think too hard, his empty head just followed. now he has to remember to charge his phone, he has to buy his own food, he has to figure out what to wear when he goes to work, he has to text you when he’s running late instead of just showing up. small things, but for someone like him, it’s huge. he’s becoming more independent.
he’s learning he can exist without minho telling him every move. now he knows what it feels like to stand on his own two feet a little… and he doesn’t want to do it without you next to him. because that development came out with you.
“you can’t listen to him, he’s bad for you. he lied. he made you scared of me. you’re mine. you chose me. don’t let him talk, please y/n, please don’t listen to him.” he says, whiny.
“dude, relax. i’m not trying to take her from you. i’m just—”
“yes you are!” he pulls you closer to him, almost yanking you out of minho’s grip. “you always want things your way, but she’s happy with me. she doesn’t need you anymore. i don’t need you to tell me what to do. i can take care of her now. by myself.”
“baby, breathe. i’m just hearing him out. that’s all.” you try to calm him down.
his grip is getting painful. “no, you don’t need to hear him, he’s just gonna make you feel bad again. he’s gonna make you think you have to stay with both of us, but you don’t. you only need me.”
“y/n, just give me two minutes. that’s all i’m asking. i’m here for you.”
jisung makes this frustrated little jealous noise. “stop talking to her! stop looking at her! she doesn’t want you, she told you to leave! why won’t you just leave?! y/n please, tell him to go. tell him you don’t need him. tell him you only want me, please. i don’t want you to leave me for him.”
“hey, sungie, no. nothing like that is happening.” you try, you really do. “don’t think like that, that’s not true. i just want his truth, not him.”
jisung looks ready to physically fight his best friend if that’s what it takes to keep you. so he yanks you to his chest, wrapping both arms around you. his heart is hammering, you can feel it. at the exact same time minho steps in closer, refusing to let go of your wrist. the three of you are so close. bodies touching, breathing, all three.
you’re scared.
the two actually snarl in each other’s faces.
jisung has his pretty lips pulled back like a dog. “get your hand off her.”
“don’t fucking pull her like that.” minho growls.
…holy shit.
you can barely move.
that’s hot.
best friends for years and now they look like they want to rip each other’s throats out.
you try to breathe. it’s tight in here. “minho… just talk. say what you need to say. we can do it like this.”
jisung shakes his head, face pressed to the side of your head. “no, i don’t want him talking. i don’t want him here. he’s just gonna lie again and make you feel bad. i don’t like this. i don’t want this.”
“baby, let him talk. please. i’m right here in your arms, see? i’m not going anywhere, you’ll make sure of that. i know you can protect me. just let him say what he needs to say.”
they fucking snarl again then they pull away from each other at the same time, minho lets go of you, jisung doesn’t. he keeps you tight to his chest and turns you away from minho. minho steps back too, arms crossed over his chest, looking pissed and tired and done with both of you.
“no. i don’t like this. he shouldn’t be here. he made you cry. he made you scared.”
minho actually moves his face like a brat. raise of his eyebrows, tilt of his head. “fine. you want to act like this? then i’ll wait.”
“you’re both acting like fucking children.” you say.
jis makes a hurt little noise and buries his face in your neck. “i’m not a child, i just don’t want him to take you away.” you are you fucking dipshit.
minho looks away. he’s pissed, really pissed, but he’s also smart enough not to escalate it physically.
you take a deep breath and try to get yourself together, to think of the best way to solve this. “min. say what you have to say. right now. i’m listening.” then you look up at the boyfriend. “jis, shut up. just listen. let him talk. you have me.”
jisung makes a small and unhappy whine on your neck. his behavior makes brutally sense, actually, he’s wrong. that much is obvious. his brain never developed the normal emotional regulation most people have. he has massive defects in impulse control and emotional processing, when he gets attached to something (you), his brain floods with dopamine and oxytocin and that can be addictive for someone like him, his entire emotional regulation system now depends on your presence.
when you pull away even slightly, his nervous system goes into panic. cortisol level, his fear center goes fucking crazy. he literally feels like he’s dying when you’re gone because his underdeveloped prefrontal shi can’t deal with the fear response. that’s why the tantrums, the whining, the libido, the always wanting you only to himself. it’s not just being spoiled like it was said earlier, it’s his brain that never learned how to selfsoothe, it usually needs someone else to do that for him when not turning into the killer version of himself. losing you is unbearable to him.
minho is the opposite problem. he has extremely high cognitive control, the way he manipulated and pulled you the fuck around is rooted in his own attachment wounds. jisung is his project, his responsibility, his only real friend. when you entered the picture, you became part of that system, minho didn’t just fall for you with normal love, he put you into his surviving needs.
he feels very little guilt because his moral compass is heavily leaning toward ends justify the means. he can admit he did bad things, but in his head they were necessary evils. his love for you is real, but it’s bad for any of you. right now he’s trying to work the fear out he doesn’t usually deal with so he barely can now.
“i did it because i was scared.” he tells you. “the killings were getting closer together. he was unstable. when you showed up, he became okay again. i saw it immediately, so i did what i had to do to keep you here. i’m sorry, but the alternative was watching him destroy himself, and maybe other people, again.” he’s sorry. well, as much as he can be while still knowing that he was supposedly in the right.
jisung puts his nose into your hair. “you didn’t have to lie though. you could’ve told her. she’s smart. she would’ve understood. eventually.” his voice is grumpy but not mean. also, eventually, he picked that word up from you.
“maybe, but i wasn’t willing to risk it. i’ve known you since we were kids, man. i’ve cleaned up too many bodies, i couldn’t take the chance.”
you sigh, watch his pretty face. why is he so pretty but so evil? “so you just… decided my life for me.”
“yeah. i did. his life mattered more to me than your freedom at the time.” ouch.
jisung makes a small sound, pressing his face into your hair. “but she’s mine now. she chose me, you can’t take her back. i don’t need you to take care of me anymore, i can do it myself.”
minho watches jisung’s face. “i see that. you are getting better. she’s good for you. better than i ever was.”
oh that’s manipulation. what fucking cringe ass bitch would say that out loud if it wasn’t for their own sake? minho’s not a sappy asshole, he said this heartfelt shit to make any of you two softer on him.
jisung holds you to himself. he can’t see what minho does with his words. you can. “she is. she’s the best. so you should stop trying to get her back.”
you feel his heart racing behind your back. he’s trying so hard to be calm, but you can feel how much he hates this, minho being in your space, minho talking to you, minho existing near you. his independence is real now, but it’s fragile.
you slide your hand up into his hair, gentle, through the strands, petting him slowly. soothing your boyfriend. he whines into your neck.
you look at minho. “sorry… for doing this in front of you. he needs it.” talking about being this physical and lovey dovey.
“no no it’s okay.” minho says quickly.
“yeah.” you reply.
“yeah.”
…
“i mean… it’s fine.” he says, rubbing the back of his neck.
“yeah.”
“yeah.” jisung mumbles into your shoulder. he just says it because you said it.
the three of you stand there in the most awkward silence known to man for a solid five seconds.
you clear your throat. “i kinda do get what you were doing, i see through it now, but i also understand why. i’m still pissed about how you did it… but i get the reason.”
“but you don’t have to forgive him.” jisung mutters into your hair. “he still lied, he still hurt you. you don’t have to understand him.”
you reach back and squeeze his arm gently. “calm down. i’m not forgiving him right now. i’m just saying i understand where his head was at. that’s all.”
he whines, pressing his face into your shoulder. “i don’t want you to understand him.”
“you’re shaking.” you whisper up to him.
he is. his whole big body is trembling behind you. jealousy. hurt. fear. his best friend of years had kept massive secrets from you. had used him. had hurt the person he loves most. it’s messing with his simple head more and he doesn’t know how to express that.
“it’s talked through for now.” you tell minho. “go home, minho. i’ll think about everything. tonight i’m staying with jisung.”
“alright. i’ll go.”
he gives jisung one last look, complicated and sad between them, then mans himself up and walks out.
“thank you.” jisung mumbles into your neck.
you turn in his arms and hug him properly, both hands in his hair now.
he’s beautiful. always have been. you love him, like this exactly. “he hurt my feelings too.” he tells you. “that made me sad. i don’t like being sad at him.”
“i know, baby. it’s complicated. but you’re okay right now.” he really does need those words. you massage his scalp softly.
“i’m not really in the mood for sex tonight.” he mumbles out.
you smile, you can’t help it. obvi know that he assumed sex for tonight because being physical is almost a daily thing. you know he won’t even change his mind if he saw what you had under your clothes and you don’t want him to change his mind. “that’s more than okay.”
“thank you. i just… i don’t feel sexy right now. i feel sad. and mad at minho.”
“hm. okay. actually, i’m thinking maybe i should talk to minho again. not right now, but soon. properly. i need to understand more. not just from you, but from him too. he was part of this whole thing for years.”
he tenses up. “but why? he hurt you. he lied. he made you scared. you don’t need him, you have me now. i can take care of you.”
“baby, minho was your person for a long time, and there is some truth in the things he said just now. i’m just trying to understand the full picture, that’s all. i’m not letting him take me away from you, i promise.”
jisung thought minho would take you because in his simple but very male brain that’s exactly what he would expect another man to do.
jisung has spent years watching minho be the one in control. minho was the caretaker, the decisionmaker, the fixer. for most of jisung’s life, minho was the only consistent person, cleaned up his messes, and told him what was safe. that created a very specific imprint in jisung’s head, minho gets what he wants, minho manages things, minho takes care of what’s “his.” so when you entered the picture and became the most important thing in jisung’s world, his brain automatically assumed minho would see you the same way.
not wrong about that part, even.
it’s not that jisung thinks minho is evil, it’s that he knows minho is strategic. minho always plans three steps ahead, minho always finds the best way to keep the system running. and right now, in jisung’s limited but very honest view of the world, you are the most important part of that system. so of course minho would try to take you back, of course he would push, manipulate, and refuse to leave. that’s what men do when they want something important. that’s what jisung would do if the roles were reversed.
and jisung is a man. a very physical, very instinctdriven man. when jisung sees another male (especially one he knows well) getting close to his chosen “mate”(we’re really taking humans down to animals here, but we are animals after all) it triggers what says protect what’s yours. that’s what animals do too. that’s what we always do too. it doesn’t matter that minho is his best friend.
add to that the fact that jisung knows minho better than almost anyone, actually yeah better than anyone. and he’s seen how minho always wins in the long game, so when minho showed up at your door and refused to leave, jisung’s brain didn’t see his old best friend trying to apologize, it saw a bigger, smarter male trying to reclaim territory. trying to take jisung’s person, jisung’s girl.
that’s why he got so possessive. so childish. why he kept pulling you into his chest, why he kept interrupting, why he physically tried to block minho from even looking at you. so basically tried to stop everything that minho could have used. it wasn’t just jealousy, it was pure primal fucking fear that the one person who has always been stronger and smarter than him (in jisung’s eyes) was about to take away his only love.
if minho wants her, he’ll find a way. he always finds a way. and if he takes her, i’ll go back to being :( again.
but now he’s safe. you told him. and he believes you, always believes you. but he also needs more comfort, so after a bit of just soaking up your touch, he takes one of your hands from his hair and brings your pointer finger to his mouth.
he looks up at you with those big boba baby eyes as he parts his lips and sucks your finger in.
it always feels weird, to you. to him, it’s comforting. he keeps eye contact the whole time.
“i’m still angry at minho, y’know.” you say. “but i also see why he did it. he really loves you, sungie. he was scared of losing you. that doesn’t make it right, but it makes sense.”
he nods around your finger.
“i don’t know what’s going to happen with him, but it’s going to take a while. so don’t worry about it now. don’t worry about it at all. i like it here with you, just us. you know that.”
he pulls off your finger. it’s cold now. “i like just us too. i feel better when it’s only you and me.”
“i know.”
he sighs and puts his face in your neck. you hold him. you know how much this moved him. you calm him, you’re there for him.
minho would have done the same.
after closing the door, when you two go to sleep, he’s like, cuddlier than usual. and that’s a big word. he falls asleep faster than usual too.
you lie awake for a while, but fall asleep too. it was hard, but you need it, and know you can’t avoid tomorrow anyways. or maybe you even want tomorrow to come. to hear minho out.
a few days later you sat down and talked with minho. talked it out, kinda. jisung had to be talked down like three separate times because he kept getting anxious, you had to keep rubbing his arm, letting him hold your hand, he needed it. a lot.
you understood him better. so slowly, the harmony started coming back. jisung started going back to the old apartment more regularly. well, he still sleeps at your place every night, the husband ever, but to visit. he’d give you a long kiss goodbye, tell you “i’m gonna see the cats and minho, i’ll be home for dinner.”
he started giving minho his daily hugs again. like holds him for a few seconds, mumbling “missed you man” minho would pat his back.
jisung needs that physical reassurance, most people aren’t this touch starved, minho had been his only person for years, getting that back, even a little bit, helped jisung even more. he’s doing really well nowadays.
he also started spending way more time with the cats. he’d sit on the floor for hours sometimes, petting the three. they like him. minho said it was the healthiest thing he’d seen jisung do in years, you agreed. watching your fuckass murderer boyfriend with three cats headbutting him was healing for everyone.
one afternoon you even went with him. you sat on the living room floor with the cats while jisung and minho were in the kitchen doing men things(talking about motor oil while eating chips and giggling around).
it didn’t all go back to perfect in a second, of course. minho was still careful around you, walking on eggshells, you were still a little cold toward him sometimes, still angry about how he played you, but the tension was easing. you two wanted to get along, after all.
jisung is not scared about minho taking you anymore. and he is getting more independent these days, living away from minho forced him to grow up a little. he notices more things now.
oh especially when jeongin and chan flirt with you.
everytime you three end up in the same place, parties, them inviting your trio over to drink, whatevs, jeongin with his little hand kisses and “babe” this and “pretty” that. chan is just loud and mean to the others to seem better in your eyes and keeps putting his biceps everywhere. they don’t get why you keep turning them down.
and as we said, jisung notices their bullshit now. he starts hovering, big hand on you, usually your lower back, trying to protect you. aww. he gets… bitchy. sulky.
“why does innie keep kissing your hand?” he asks you later in bed when you’re on your phone. “he knows you’re my girlfriend. why does he do that? it’s stupid. he’s stupid.”
“he… doesn’t know, i think.”
“and i think he does.” he really doesn’t, jis. “and chan keeps looking at your boobs, i saw it. i hate it. why do they keep doing that?”
you look down at him. “wanna make people know i’m yours?”
“yes.”
you raise your brows. smile. he stares blankly for a few seconds. realizes you’re hinting to giving hickeys. he smiles too.
yeah that… ended in sex too. anyways. he gets so fucking childish, stomps around your apartment when you get home from seeing them, crosses his arms and pouts the annoying little bitch, once he even refused to eat dinner because “chan touched your arm today and you smiled.” you had to sit on his lap and feed him until he calmed down.
“what the fuck is the lil dude’s problem lately?” jeongin asks one night when looks like he wants to bite, staring at jisung. “he used to be chill.”
chan shrugs, shoveling cereal into his mouth. “maybe he’s on his period.“
that’s also how they find out you’re not dating minho.
one night when you five are drinking again and jeongin makes some joke about “minho’s girl”, jisung looks around, so dumb, and says “she’s not minho’s girl. she’s my girlfriend. why do you keep saying she’s with minho?”
silence.
the two look at you. you nod.
“you two are fucking idiots.” minho mutters. “she’s never been with me, she’s with jisung. has been for a while now. so maybe stop trying to fuck his girlfriend, okay?”
the two look at each other with huge eyes. they’re so fucking empty.
at least they’re not the next jisung kills. because jisung does kill again, unfortunately.
minho and you are at your place, sitting next to each other, calm conversation. you two are still healing. jisung was supposed to come home later, which he does, but when he arrives he’s covered in fresh blood. not dripping this time, but definitely soaked.
“hi baby.” he says, kicking his bloody shoes off. “i’m home.”
minho is on his feet instantly. you feel your stomach drop.
“fuck.” minho mutters. “jis, bathroom. now.”
lucky thing that you’re not someone who’s easily disgusted by blood. you are disgusted, but not to the point of throwing up. if you were someone like that then back at the first night when you saw jisung bloody, things maybe wouldn’t have gone that well.
jisung stands there letting you both undress him. “the guy bumped into me really hard. i ripped his throat. i think i ate part of his arm too. sorry.”
minho sighs. “we’ll talk about it later. arms up.”
you and minho clean him together in the bathroom. he stands there in this underwear. it’s fucking adorable. you wipe the blood off his face with a wet cloth while minho handles the worse parts, his hands, his chest, his neck.
you’re disgusted by the blood, not by your lovely boyfriend.
the teamwork with minho actually builds some of your friendship back up, it’s great, even better with the adorable way that you two wrap jisung in a towel and the three of you sit down on the couch. jisung in the middle, fresh, head on your shoulder, one hand holding minho’s hand. you three are building back.
so everyone got what they wanted in the end. minho got you two back. jisung got his girlfriend. you got a perfect boyfriend.
you accept what he is. well, it took a lot of time, but you’re attached, and see his meaning. plus with him, you know you’re needed, irreplaceable, essential. humans are made to crave that. jisung gives you that in massive, unhealthy doses. and your brain has adapted to him, first time seeing him bloody and wild and ready to end himself for you creeped you the fuck out, but with repeated exposure, you stopped associating his blood covered state with a threat. it’s become… familiar. almost normal. you see his postkill calm face and you recognize it as jisung after releasing pressure, not danger. not anymore. and you know that he doesn’t choose this, it’s not sadism or anything, it’s a neurological thing. once your brain decides something is not a threat to me, it stops treating it like one.
you accept him because you’ve seen the alternative. you’re not just in love with the man, you’re in love with how he reacts to you, what you are to him. you feel like you’re saving him. healing him. that’s maaaaaybe a little narcissistic, but it is what it is.
you don’t approve of the killing, you hate it, but you’ve accepted that it’s part of the package. like dating someone with a chronic illness. the illness isn’t their fault, and you love the person, not the disease. and you know jisung would never hurt you, he’s said it a thousand times and you believe him. he’d destroy everything in the whole fucking world before letting anything touch you.
did minho ever got over his crush on you? no, not fully. he wants more than just the three of you working. he still feels that attraction towards you. lowkey yearning. he’s accepted his place, but that doesn’t mean the feelings died. late at night when he’s alone in his room, or when he watches you pet jisung’s hair, he still wants you.
you suspect. but you don’t really care, not in a bad way, you just let it exist. you’ve got bigger things to worry about than minho’s complicated feelings.
jisung has no clue. his entire world is you, when he’s not thinking about your personality, your face, the cute little nicknames you call him, how you scratch his scalp just right, he’s thinking about your pussy. how it feels when you ride him, how wet you get when he begs, how you look when you cum(he loves making you cum), minho is the second after you. he loves minho, but you’re his main shit. everything else is… everything else.
that shows in how he brings you flowers he picked himself (kind of ugly ones, but the thought counts), he kills less. still does, but it’s rarer, and after he comes home to you instead of painting more alleys red. yeah a few years ago it wasn’t unusual that he killed multiple people a night, minho told you about that too.
minho is… at peace, mostly. he gets to be useful again, that’s what he needs. he still manipulates a little, old habits die hard, but it’s not with an evil, manipulative intention now, so he doesn’t even really mean this one.
you’ve accepted what your boyfriend is. you’ve accepted that your other… whatever minho is… is a possessive, lowkey evil little mastermind. you love them that way.
yeah even minho, after all. you still want to punch him sometimes, but the three of you love each other. you let him back into your life only in careful doses, coffee together, little talks, the occasional shared dinner, you’re starting to trust him again.
jisung is happier than he’s ever been. he gets his girlfriend and his best friend and his cats. he gets to fuck you almost every night and then fall asleep with you. that heals him lots too. he’s loved.
you’ve accepted it. that your boyfriend is a serial killer and that he doesn’t really understand why murder is bad, that his best friend is a psychopath and he also once manipulated the shit out of you but whatever it was for a good cause, that you’re in love with the first and weirdly attached to the second.
you love them.
and they love you.
that’s how it is now.
that’s how it’s going to stay.
author’s note: the end<3 left that last line there to make it dramatic as i always try to make the last lines, the an was supposed to be the “the end<3” only too to seem deep but wanted to say that later on minho most likely convinces jisung to propose to reader and he does and they live happily ever after<3 shii hundred times better than my hyunjin fic’s end(jk idc i still find that one the best) anyways all done part three in the works rn, that’s next!! and oh god i felt disgusted writing him kill the woman, i did it for the audiences that like it.
summary: your body disposal gets interrupted by a group of boys… really pretty boys, and you can’t help but get extremely obsessed with them. they just… don’t know about it. but you manage to pull them.
warnings: reader is a murderer, graphic violence, homicidal behavior, stalking, obsession, emotional manipulation, gaslighting, stealing, all these horrible things listed above were done by reader, mentions of drugs(please genuinely don’t do drugs guys, it’s horrible, i’m only writing them like this because i’m writing dumb characters!!), sexual content(female masturbation, mentions of protected p in v and some places unclear if protected or not, oral f and m receiving, tiny mentions of anal, the sex scenes not in big detail and the sex is not the main thing in the fic), all the boys are lowk dumb & funky, it’s more realistic if we imagine reader with healed sh scars but it’s not mentioned in the fic at all, slight mxm in one scene but no relationships made clear, i think this can be called dead dove do not eat
word count: 20k
you’re walking through the forest at night, branches snapping under your boots, breath fogging, dragging a body behind you, wrapped in plastic. catching on roots, rocks, life’s little inconveniences.
you really should’ve brought gloves. again. you always think that. you never do it. whatever.
and you have just no idea that just meters away, eight friends are sitting around a campfire.
“i’m telling you,” jeongin says, exhaling a slow stream of smoke, sitting on a log, smoking a cigarette, and it looks so hot on him. “there is something in the woods. a man. or the bigfoot. maybe the mothman.”
“oh fuck off.” chan says, grinning. he’s got his big manly shoulders hunched forward, elbows on his knees, staring into the flames. “pass the chips before i start eating pinecones, im serious.”
felix is half laying against a log, vape in hand, blowing out a cloud that smells like watermelon. hums a little. maybe in agreement? maybe in disagreement? maybe his dick hurts again because hours ago jeongin accidentally hit him in the crotch with a really big stick? who knows. he passes the chips to chan.
“this is nice.” changbin says, smiling at the fire. “we should do this more often.”
“we should survive this first.” han mumbles, glancing into the trees.
“relax.” hyunjin says. he reaches over, stealing felix’s vape and taking a slow hit. “what’s the worst that could happen?”
minho just shrugs, staring into the flames.
“serial killer.” jeongin says immediately.
“bear attack.” seungmin adds.
“haunted forest.” han throws in, increasingly stressed.
“you guys watch too many movies.” chan says.
none of them hear the distant, dull thud of something heavy being dragged across the ground.
changbin starts digging in a bag to calm the others down. “does anyone want—okay, no, don’t throw that—han, catch—”
han fumbles the bag of chips, nearly drops it, then clutches it. “i got it. i got it. we’re good.”
“we were not good for a second there.” seungmin says.
“yeah, that was a close one.” jeongin adds, deadpan, flicking ash onto the dirt.
they’re such boys. around the little fire they set up(chan set up because he insisted on it, average man) it’s already messy, they leave fucking trash around, they’re just horrible. men.
hyunjin hands the vape back without looking, eyes flicking toward the trees for a second.
“relax.” chan says, noticing. “there’s nothing out there.”
hyunjin hums, unconvinced but not arguing.
“except your mom.” felix giggles, taking his little vape back and taking a fat pull. then holds it out to han. “you want next? it’s basically salad in smoke form, healthy as shit.”
han is fidgeting, blanket around his shoulders. “i dunno man… what if a bear smells the vape and thinks we’re giant watermelons? i’m not dying for your lung cancer bro, no offense.”
the fire crackles. sparks drift up.
jeongin takes another drag, squinting into the woods. “still. would be kinda insane if someone was just… out there.”
seungmin snorts. “yeah, what, dragging a body or something?”
they laugh.
meanwhile, you stab the shovel into the ground. finally. the metal goes into the dirt, and you lean your weight into it, push down with your foot, then lift it back.
first scoop.
you toss it to the side.
second.
third.
dig, lift, throw. dig, lift, throw.
“i’m gonna piss.” hyunjin says, standing up.
“don’t fall in.” seungmin says.
“don’t get murdered.” jeongin adds, flicking his cigarette.
“do get murdered.” minho mutters.
“don’t come back.” felix says.
“don’t go too far.” chan calls after him.
hyunjin lifts a hand in a little “yeah yeah” gesture without looking back.
it’s darker away from the fire. obviously. but like, noticeably darker. he fumbles with his zipper, muttering under his breath about this and that and—his foot catches on something. he doesn’t even have time to process it before he’s falling forward, hands coming out too late, and he slams into the ground.
his knee hits first, then his palms, and something shifts under him. wrong. plastic… slippery?
not rock. not root.
he freezes.
there’s a second, just one, where he thinks, no, ignore that. stand up. pretend that didn’t happen.
then he looks down.
the shape under the shiny black plastic is… familiar to humans biologically. long. wrapped. the plastic catches what little light there is, and there’s something inside. something very clearly inside.
“…what the fuck.” he breathes. looks up. sees you a few feet away, shovel in hand, dirt disturbed at your feet, a shallow start of a hole behind you.
you’re both still for a while.
and hyunjin screams. not like a cool, composed, masculine shout, no a full fucking little girl scream as he scrambles backward, slipping again, hands digging into the dirt as he puts distance between you and… that.
god. he’s beautiful. on the ground where be belongs, hair a little messy, eyes wide as fuck, he’s stunning.
“wait, wait.” you say quickly. you shift the shovel slightly, angling it away.
“oh my god, oh my god, oooooh—” he’s half whispering, half yelling, hands coming up. “i—i didn’t—i didn’t see, i thought—what the fuck is that?”
you… stand there. shovel in hand. a girl. alone. with a shovel. and a big fucking bag. in the woods. great.
“i— are you—are you—” his eyes are so big, you haven’t felt attraction since… ever, but he’s a really pretty guy, you can admit that.
you let the shovel slip from your hands, meets the ground. now, your acting skills come in handy. your shoulders tense, then fold inward just slightly. you learned how to do this, how to angle your body into this, you learned the biology and psychology of this, why humans act like this when they’re about to cry and how they act. your breathing shifts, quicker now, uneven. you bring a hand up to your mouth.
“i didn’t mean to.” you say. it comes out quiet. really adorable. you take a tiny tiny step back, acting like you’re scared, guilty. fucking ACTIIIING. “i didn’t—i didn’t know what else to do.” you whimper out.
“what…?”
you shake your head quickly, like you can’t even get the words out properly, like this is all just too much. “he—” your voice catches, you let it. lean into it. “he was—he was my ex and he—he hit me and i—i just—” you stop, breath hitching. god, you’re such a good liar, y/n.
you don’t have to force the tears as much as you’d think. just, yknow, enough to blur your vision slightly, enough to make your eyes feel better.
crocodile tears.
they work. they always do.
his tense posture drops. his hands, which were held up to push himself away, hesitate. “wait, hey. hey, it’s okay—are you—are you okay?”
you shake your head. “i didn’t mean to kill him.” you whisper, acting like you can’t even look at what you’ve done. “i just—he wouldn’t stop and i— euugh…” you cut yourself off again, pressing your lips together, acting like you’re holding the just oh so cruel reality back from an innocent guy like he is. you ain’t holding shit back, this is just an act. you evil bitch.
“hey, hey—” he pushes himself up, cautious. “it’s okay, i’m not—i’m not gonna… just what happened? if you, want to tell me, of course—“
you shake your head, eyes darting like you’re panicking. “he wasn’t supposed to—i just—i… i just wanted him to leave me alone…”
his face scrunches up. there it is. god. men are so predictable it’s insulting.
you look down, wrapping your arms around yourself. “i didn’t know what to do. i just… i panicked.”
“are you… are you hurt?” hyunjin asks, stepping closer.
you hesitate. again, all an act. then shake your head. “i’m fine.” but it comes out weak, unconvincing on purpose.
he doesn’t buy it, well that’s the point so after all he does buy it. takes a cautious step closer, then another. the bag is next to his feet now. he avoids looking at it. that’s interesting.
“hey. it’s… okay, just calm down, alright?” he’s quieter, gentler.
he puts his hand on your arm. warm. feels good.
you look down at it, then up at him. his face is… open(you haven’t seen a face this open since you tried your new axe out, okay murder aside it is a really open boy face, not keeping anything back from you). worried. brows drawn together, so beautiful. so dumb. so trusting and naive because you’re pretty.
“did he… did he hurt you bad?”
you let out a shaky breath. nod.
bitch please. you’ve never had a boyfriend. never needed one. never wanted one.
“i didn’t know what else to do.” you whisper, acting ashamed of it, looking down so he can see the tears drop. ohhh you evil whore.
“hey. hey, look at me.”
you hesitate before you do, make him want it first. also big mistake on his part, wanting this. eye contact makes it easier for you.
“you did what you had to do.” he says. let’s note that hyunjin is an evil bitch, he’s a boy, a dumb heartbreaker. “okay? if he was hurting you, if you were in danger, then… then that’s not… that’s not your fault.”
you watch him, how he’s trying to fix this. to fix you. to make it something understandable, something easier for his normal human boy mind to swallow. he’s comforting himself more, kind of. it’s endearing.
“i was just going to bury him.” you say, glancing back at the half started hole. “and then just… leave. i’m so sorry.” you start actually crying at the last words. the actress ever.
he follows your gaze, then quickly looks back at you again, swallowing. “alone?”
you nod.
he looks so… protective. “you shouldn’t be out here alone. i mean—not like—you know what i mean.”
you just let more pretty little tears drop.
he takes a big breath. “you don’t— you don’t have to— i mean— shit.” he runs a hand through his hair, clearly scrambling. “okay, okay, we can— we can figure this out, alright? i’ve got friends, we’re just, we’re camping not far from here, we can—”
friends.
oh okay.
you shake your head quickly, eyes wide and big and face looking heartbroken. “no, no, i can’t, can’t, if anyone finds out—”
“they won’t. i mean, fuck, okay, maybe they will, but we can—we can help, okay? we’ll figure something out.”
we.
he’s already including you??? what a cutie!
“you won’t tell anyone?” you ask, pathetic.
he hesitates. good. that means he’s thinking.
“i…” he glances back toward where he came from, then back at you. “not if you don’t want me to.”
and there we go.
“thank you.” you whisper. another tear slips down.
“hyune?” another man’s voice.
hyunjin’s head snaps toward the sound so fast you almost hear it.
“where the fuck did you go? did bigfoot fuck you bro?” another voice, different tone.
there’s three of them. (chan, his posture tells that he knows something is off. seungmin just behind him, eyes narrowed slightly. nobody can see that, of course, it’s still dark. changbin behind the two.)
fuck. okay. you don’t move. neither does hyunjin.
for a bit, it’s just a weird little… situation. you, him, the shovel on the ground, the bag just out of their immediate line of sight because of the angle and the trees and pure luck.
chan looks at hyunjin. (hyune, as you know him now) “what’s up, bro?” then, he clocks the little body next to hyunjin. “oh shit. hi? you… lost out here, sweetheart?”
hyunjin looks at them, then at you.
you shake your head.
don’t.
“i’m—i’m fine.” you say, voice angelic, a little shaky still. all on purpose. you take a small step back, trying to create distance from all of them at once. acting so scared. “i just… i’d rather—if you could just leave me alone.” you’re thinking about which one you’d gut first if they push.
“hey, no one’s—” changbin starts gently.
“nah, it’s…” hyunjin cuts in, so fast, then clears his throat, trying to smooth it out. “it’s nothing. she’s, uh, she’s good.”
seungmin doesn’t say anything, you wouldn’t even know he’s here if you hadn’t heard him barking around about bigfoot fucking hyunjin. which is fucking hilarious but bursting out laughing would kinda throw your perfect performance off.
hyunjin forces a shit laugh out. son get yourself together. “i just scared her, i think. came outta nowhere.”
you drop your gaze. like yeah, some random guy stumbling out of the woods while you’re alone at night.
seungmin tilts his head, talks to you. “you sure? ‘cause if some dude’s out here fuckin’ with you—”
“no dude.” you say quick, eyes flicking to hyunjin. sorry, hyune. “he really did just scare me. i was on a walk.”
“yeah uh… she’s good. i checked. we’re all good. let’s head back, guys. fire’s probably dying.”
chan is watching you, trying to figure out if you’re a problem or if you have a problem. “you sure you’re good?” god. the tone. what a man.
“yeah. yeah, i’m fine.”
“hey.” changbin says, sweet because damn you cute. “it’s okay. we’re not— we’re not gonna bother you, alright? we’re just over there.” he gestures behind them. “if you need anything or whatever, you can come by. if you want. no pressure. yeah.”
something weird is… in you. okay, wait, fuck, you’ve never felt this before. people are meat. meat screams, meat bleeds, meat goes in bags. feelings are for other people, not you. these dumb fucks actually want you safe?? tf?? it’s disgusting. it’s ridiculous. it’s… good??
you nod again. “thank you.”
chan exhales through his nose, then jerks his head slightly back toward where they came from. “alright. we’ll leave you to it.” he looks at hyunjin. “come on.”
hyunjin hesitates again. god, he’s bad at this. “okay.”
changbin gives you one last small, reassuring smile, which you still can’t see btw, it’s so dark that you couldn’t make fucking bigfoot out even if he stood in front of your nose. or if he was fucking hyunjin. “seriously, though. don’t be afraid to come by, okay?”
“okay. thank you.”
seungmin scratches his head. “take care, alright?”
“okay. you too.”
they turn, slow, not so sure about the situation, if you’re really fine. start to leave.
hyunjin mouths “i got you” then turns, follows his boys.
chan claps him on the shoulder. makes him stumble. “you’re explaining this later, dipshit.”
seungmin mutters “fucking weirdo beating it to scared lonely girls” under his breath.
changbin waves.
their voices drift. fade. gone. silence again. just you. and the body.
he’s an idiot.
absolute fucking idiot.
you look down at your arm, where that idiot’s hand was. it’s nothing. obviously. just skin. just warmth that’s already gone because our skin doesn’t hold it, doesn’t need it.
you’ve never… you don’t… feelings aren’t really your thing. that’s kind of the whole thing. but something, something weird, small and cute and annoying stays in you now. so new. so upsetting.
you exhale. bend down, pick up the shovel. mutter “fuck.” quietly, more out of habit than anything.
and then you stab it back into the ground. because whatever that was, it doesn’t matter.
it doesn’t matter how nice they were. how helpful. it also doesn’t matter that you’re really thinking about them now. who was that friend of hyune that called you sweetheart? sounded cute. was built cute. had a cute face from what you could make out.
and make out you’d do with him. would even let him drive his big hands in your hair, guiding your head down, sitting back against a tree while you kneel between his thighs. you’d love to listen to him say “fuck, sweetheart, just like that.” you’d take him all the way into your little mouth, nose to his skin, let him feel how much you can handle, how good you can suck him off, make him lose that calmness he dealt with you with until he’s bucking around.
who was the other guy that was going on about bigfoot? he was hilarious. that deserves a blowjob too, you’d say. uhuh, yeaahhh, you’d have him standing, back to a tree, legs spread, hands fisted in your hair while you suck him sloppy, spit dripping down your chin. make him your bitch.
and you’d lay that third wide sweetheart down on a sleeping bag, soft licks on him first, teasing swirls around the head until he’s whimpering “please, baby, please” yeah you’d take him gentle then deep, then suck so hard he feels it in his balls, let him hold your hands and whatnot sweet shit these kinda men are into because damn he was an angel.
hyune, that’s what your boy’s name was? doesn’t suit him. might be a nickname. anyways. he deserves a reward for what he just pulled for you, that reward containing your tongue tracing every vein on his cock, sucking just the tip until he’s begging, pretty please, baby, let me cum, i’ll be good i’ll keep your secrets blablabla. you’d let him, swallow every drop, then lick him clean while he stares at you and also try really hard not to stare at the body bag.
yeah you’re lowk a perv.
but these creepy little fantasies keep you entertained while burying the body. which you just finished with btw. you smooth it out, kick some leaves over it, drag your foot across the surface until it looks like everything else.
like nothing ever happened.
like no one was ever here.
you stand there.
then you pick up the shovel.
and instead of leaving… you go towards where the boys disappeared towards.
oh this is stupid. you know it’s stupid. there is no practical reason to do this. none. zero. negative, even. this is how people get caught, this is how dumb people die, how multiple victims of yours died already. you go anyway. doesn’t take long to see the glow even, firelight flickering through the trees. voices, loud, boy.
you stop in a fair little distance, close enough to hear, far enough to not be seen. you lean lightly on a tree, paying attention so the shovel doesn’t hit anything and make noise, and you listen.
“…i’m telling you, she was not normal, bro.” seungmin is saying as you settle behind the tree a little.
“yeah, no shit she wasn’t normal, she was alone in the woods at night.” jeongin says. “that’s already like… step one of weird.”
“she wasn’t weird weird, she was just scared.” changbin says quickly.
“yeah.” hyunjin adds, so fast. oh he’s bad at this. “she was just scared.”
chan pokes at the fire with a stick. “scared of what? you?”
“probably.” seungmin says. “i mean, look at him. man walks outta the dark while you’re alone? i’d be like yeah, cool, this is how i die.”
“thank you.” hyunjin mutters. “fuckface.”
felix leans back on his hands, stretching his legs out. “was she cute, though?”
silence.
your mouth opens a bit.
oh.
“…yeah.” changbin says first, a little hesitant but honest.
oh?
“yeah.” seungmin agrees immediately. “like—yeah.”
oh???
“yeah, no, she was.” changbin says. “like really cute.”
“oh my god.” jeongin says, sitting up straighter. “what the fuck do you mean she was cute and you just left her out there?!”
“calm down.” chan says, shoving him lightly with his foot. “she wanted to be left alone.”
jeongin slaps chan’s foot away. “no girl actually wants to be left alone in the woods at night—”
“you’re creepy, dude.” minho mutters.
“i’m just saying—”
“no, you’re just being weird.”
hyunjin is sitting back where he was before(except you don’t know where he was before but whatevs), but he’s not relaxed. so tense. you can see it even from here, the way he keeps glancing toward the trees. you smile.
“you could have just dicked her down.” felix mutters, voice so deep now that it’s a longer sentence, omfg who is this you’re interested, even while his posture is ass.
“what was she even doing out there?” han asks, leaning forward, oh he looks like a little bug, hello little bug.
“walking, i guess. or just… needed space.” changbin says.
“yeah.” seungmin adds. “probably just wanted a walk alone and then hyunjin is in the woods. i’d run.”
hyunjin. what a name.
“man or bear.” felix says.
“what?” chan looks at him.
“it’s on tiktok, dude. would you rather run into a man or a bear in the woods.”
they’re so fucking dumb.
“bear? i’d fight the bear.” changbin mutters.
“fucking liar.” chan whispers.
“no, i’m serious. at least the bear’s predictable.”
jeongin does that boyish smile while raising your eyebrows thing. “predictably eating you.”
“eating you out.” felix giggles. ???
“still better odds than some random dude.” seungmin says.
“hey.” chan gestures at himself, offended. “i’m a random dude.”
“yeah and i fucking hate you.”
“i’m strong. i’d take a man in a fight.” han says.
“it’s a question for women, asshole.” minho mutters.
changbin nods. “yeah she was shaking like a leaf—“
jeongin gets up. “i’m gonna go say hi.”
“no you’re not.” chan says, grabbing the top of his jeans and yanking him back down.
“let me go—”
“sit the fuck down.” seungmin says, grabbing his arm too.
“there’s a hot girl in the woods—”
“and she asked to be left alone.” changbin says. he’s so cute.
“yeah, and i’m gonna respectfully not do that—”
“dude.” hyunjin mutters. it’s really firm. hot tbh.
that does it. jeongin flops back down. “assholes. missed opportunity.”
“she’ll come by if she wants to. we told her, right?” changbin reassures.
“yeah. she knows.”
“and if she doesn’t, then she doesn’t.” chan says. “leave it.”
“fine.” jeongin mutters, lighting another cigarette because he’s a dumb boy. “but if she does show up, i’m talking to her first.”
“no, you’re not.” seungmin says.
“yes, i am.”
“no, you’re—”
you watch them. they’re all cute. why are they all cute?
“did she say anything else?” chan asks, looking at hyunjin again. they seem like good friends. they fit together well as friends. so boys.
hyunjin hesitates. you watch him. “…not really. just… thanked us.”
he’s not perfect, but good enough.
“i just think it’s a missed connection. like we should’ve exchanged numbers or something.” jeongin says.
“yeah, because that wouldn’t be creepy at all.” minho says.
“hey, want my number while you’re clearly uncomfortable and trying to be alone?” chan says.
han laughs. “dude, i’m so hard right now.”
“yeah, bro.” seungmin says.
“yeeeeah.” felix daps him up.
“same.” jeongin says, smiling ear to ear. he’s beautiful.
“you’re disgusting.” changbin says, laughing that cute little babe laugh.
“what? you said she was cute.” han shrugs.
“that doesn’t—” changbin starts, then gives up halfway through, covering his face. “oh my god.”
“it’s a natural reaction.” han tells him.
“to what? a conversation?” minho asks quietly.
“to the idea.” han says.
“the idea.” seungmin repeats.
“yeah.”
“just don’t nut in your sleeping bag again like last camping trip.” felix mutters, then takes a hit from his little vape.
han stomps a little. such a hot babe. “that was one time. and it was your fault for describing your sister’s friend’s ass in detail.”
you physically have to press your lips together to not laugh. watch them but in that studying way of yours that you do so well, how they lean into each other, how they interrupt, talk over, laugh too loud. the way none of them seem… alone. that they’re friends.
annoying.
hyunjin kept your secret. for no reason. for you. dumb. all of them.
you bite your lip, thighs squeezing together because shit damn fuck this is hot. they think you’re the victim. you’re the bad one here, and they’re at the idea of saving you.
jeongin’s still throwing his pretty body around. that tank top looks good on him. “just let me go peek. i won’t even talk to her. i’ll just… admire from afar.“
chan rolls his eyes. sassy. like okay daddy. “no. she asked for space, we give it. end of story.”
shit. you enjoy listening to this.
okay tbh let him come. you’d let him chase you a little, make him work for it, then push him against a tree and drop to your knees like right there, suck him fast while he groans “fuck yes baby, knew you wanted it” while you hollow your cheeks and make him cum down your throat in under two minutes because he’s all talk.
that other guy next(han), you’d pull him away from the group, sit him on a fallen log, straddle his lap so slow and so teasing, grind while he’s whimpering “is this real?” yeah baby it is and you’d help with that boner situation real quick.
then the deep voiced guy(felix). you’d blow him while he’s still hitting that cancer maker, making him cough-laugh-moan, calling you babe while you swirl your tongue just right until he bucks and cums sofly(softly, he looks like a fucking twink) with a long “fuuuuck”
you’d kneel in front of that quiet(but real funny) one too(minho), look up through your lashes, take him so slow and so thorough, aaaaaall until he’s gripping your jaw to fuck it, cumming while shaking. from where you are, when he does get talkative, he’s hot.
but when minho does get talkative again, you leave. not because he finally spoke more, you’d love to listen, but because you have to fucking go.
they’ll never know how close you were.
how close you still are.
dumb boys.
you drive out there again at like 4am the next day, hike until you find their place again. it’s trashed, empty beer cans, just men littering. assholes. but the important part is the tire tracks. two vehicles. you follow one out to the main road, remember the direction they went off (toward the city, not the highway), then go home and start your little business.
you find jeongin in no time. in a club, specifically. dancing, cig somehow lit (how the fuck), hips not stopping, sweat making his shirt cling, sly grin everytime a girl grinds on him. someone tries to take the cigarette from his mouth. he dodges, grinning. “buy your own.” asshole. you follow him when he leaves at 3am with two friends. his apartment’s fifth floor.
next day you learn he bartends at a bar two streets over, y’know shaking cocktails, flirting with everyone, sneaking cig breaks in the alley where you’re hiding behind a dumpster eating fries. other option, you sit at the bar in a wig and fake glasses (cliche but effective), order a soda, watch him flirt, pour shots with flips, flip me like that too daddy, wink at girls while calling guys boss. he’s disgusting. perfect. you imagine sucking him off behind the bar while he tries to keep pouring. you leave before close.
he lives alone. parties every night. you watch from the roof across the street deadass through binoculars while he rails some random girl on his couch, then immediately texts his gc with the boys after. that’s about how much he cares about the girl. so not at all. jeongin, you beautiful slut, you’re perfect.
once you start, it’s… hard to stop. you already have one thread. might as well pull the rest.
changbin and hyunjin are roommates in a cute two bedroom loft above a coffee shop, big windows, have blinds but they forget to close most of the time. fuck you hope they’re not gay. well not like you would have a problem with them being gay, you just really want to fuck them. like really.
on yeah you found the names out. heard them talk, listened carefully. simple shit, wasn’t hard. (you’re a fucking creep)
hyunjin’s room has soft lighting, so him, posters of bands you don’t give a flying fuck about, art shit, and usually hyunjin himself sprawled on his bed in just boxers scrolling tiktok with the most angelic little face or frown or smile while changbin yells from the kitchen “bro did you eat the last yogurt again you absolute whore” changbin’s room is simple, just like he is. maybe a bit messy until hyunjin starts to fuss over it and cleans up. you usually watch for hours, watching changbin talk to his mom on the phone, get into his nice car and talk to it like it’s his baby(luxury. changbin’s got money or daddy does. hot.), hyunjin laugh at his phone, watching him stretch, watching him scratch his balls. you’re so wet you almost slip off from wherever you’re watching. god you’re disgusting.
chan next. easier. he lives alone. you park in the alley behind his building most nights, watch him come home from whatever blue collar job he’s got (construction? delivery? something with his hands). shirtless fridge raids of his are… wow. fridge door opens, light comes out, you can see his broad body, sweatpants always about to slip off that round ass, scratching his abs while he stares into the fridge. grabs a beer, chugs half standing there, scratches his balls. you zoom in from across the street.
you hear him blasting shitty rap while doing push ups shirtless. so cute. manly. you sit on the fire escape across the alley eating and kinda maybe jerking off to the way his back muscles move. he was there for you in the woods so you’re there for his morning wood outline in those gray sweatpants. fair’s fair.
han and minho are in a shittier apartment complex downtown, third floor, blinds always open. brutal win tbh. you sit on the stairwell one afternoon pretending to scroll tiktok while han comes home from wherever nice boys go, carrying grocery bags and humming. minho’s already inside, you hear his voice when the door opens telling han to “quit singing that fucking song it’s stuck in my head now.” makes you want to puke and also hump the doorframe. you watch han jerk off once, quick, face buried in a pillow. you almost applaud.
seungmin also lives alone. looks really depressive but he seems to be having fun by himself(he always looks mad asf), he just lies around when he’s home. maybe on the couch, maybe in his bed when he’s not working. he’s pretty boring to watch but really pretty so maybe not that boring after all. he cooks for himself too. looks cute doing it. you’d like to try his food one day.
felix is rich. you tail him from the gym (where he and chan and changbin go to fuck around, felix does nothing) to a fucking mansion ass house with a gate code you memorize after watching him punch it in twice. parents barely home, felix smoking something on the balcony in a silk robe. you climb the fence one night and watch him facetiming his mom while shirtless, saying “yeah mom i ate vegetables today” right before he snorts a line of something off his coffee table.
when parents are home, he spends time with them. seems to be bored of them tho. (an: this characterization of felix is not affected by his sisters, so it’s up to you, dearest reader, to think of him as someone who has siblings or is a spoiled only child) you watch him walk in one afternoon and his mom hugs him at the door. he leans down into it, smiling, being an angel of a boy.
“you eat?” she asks.
“yeah, ma.”
liar. he didn’t. you know that because you followed him the whole day.
you climb the tree in his backyard sometimes, fucking lunatic, watch him through his bedroom window. he’s on discord with the boys, vaping(like specifically vaping, the pussy boy, real men smoke actual cigarettes, he’s a little bitch), being loud, saying nasty shit. does he kiss his mother with that mouth? you cackle in the tree so loud a neighbor’s dog barks. he’s dreamy and spoiled and seems out of reach and that naturally excites people more and you want to fuck him on his own king bed while his parents are in the bahamas.
they were up to be there for you. so now, you’re there for them. creepy? yeah. a little pervy? absolutely. but means a lot coming from you. because you want to go back to these assholes of boys, for some reason(and not kill them). again. and again. and again.
you’re everywhere and nowhere.
there for them. every night. every shower. every fridge look through. every drunk walk home. every disgusting fucking word said to each other.
you work on a fucking schedule. monday, hyunjin and changbin. tuesday, jeongin’s bar shift where you sit in the corner nursing one beer for six hours while he winks at you. wednesday, felix’s mansion where you watch him play video games in his underwear. thursday, seungmin’s place for watching him shower. friday, minho and han beating each other up playfully. saturday, chan walking around shirtless at home on the phone about some business. sundays go for planning. planning good, and the reward for that is watching them eat cereal, watching them argue over who gets the aux, watching them jack off, watching them exist, cute, clueless.
they wanted to save you, you’re just returning the favor. because you’re just looking out for them!!
you love doing this. you love watching chan stand in front of open fridge in just pants(no underwear if you’re lucky), scratching his happy trail absentmindedly while deciding between leftover pizza and beer. usually picks both. eats standing up, leaning on counter, one hand down his pants adjusting his dick. once flexed his pecs twice in the microwave’s reflection, then went back to scrolling his phone.
another time he jerked off on the couch facing the window. lights off, curtains open, fucking win, slow, good strokes while watching porn on his laptop, head tipped back, mouth open when he came on his stomach. wiped it with the same t shirt he was wearing earlier. boys.
he also orders food everytime. you have never seen this man make food.
hyunjin is quieter at home. comes out of the shower in just a white towel(doesn’t use other colored towels and doesn’t like it when binnie does either), water dripping down his chest, hair wet and dark. you like his hair. it’s almost kinda curly? cute. he stands in front of mirror, towel moving with him as he brushes his teeth, stomach muscles flexing when he reaches for mouthwash. once he let the towel drop completely to lotion his legs. holy fuck. long, pretty thighs, cock soft between them. you almost came just from watching and this is not an exaggeration.
beautiful even when he’s picking at a pimple in the bathroom mirror. one evening you see him humping the edge of the couch while on his phone, mouth open and panting because he’s trying to be quiet with changbin in the next room. cums in his boxers, bites his lip almost fucking bloody to stay silent, then changes like nothing happened.
changbin talks to himself while gaming, yells “fuck you laggy piece of shit” at the monitor, slams controller down, then apologizes to it and panics because he doesn’t want to buy another one. he came home drunk once, tripped over his own shoes(he’s lucky hyunjin didn’t see him walk in with shoes), face down on the bed still in jeans, ass up, snoring within thirty seconds. another night he jerked off under the covers, quiet little grunts, phone glowing on his face. finished with a soft “oh fuck yeah” and then immediately texted someone. you couldn’t see what he texted. you’re thrilled to.
you watch changbin vacuuming in just basketball shorts, singing until hyunjin shoves his dirty sock feet into changbin’s face. they also cook together a lot.
one evening hyunjin comes out of the shower in nothing but a towel on his hips, out to the kitchen to make something, and changbin wolf whistles then throws a pillow at him. hyunjin drops the towel to mess with bin, standing there naked(holy shit his pubes are so attractive, you’re this attracted) before changbin screams “dude put it away, i’ve seen that shit multiple times and it’s still weird!”
seungmin’s balcony sliding door is always cracked for his cigarette smoke. fucking goldmine. he paces there while on the phone, shirtless, scratching his ass crack through basketball shorts. once he walked out just boxers to piss in a plant. why? but his dick was cute so anyways. flips himself off in the mirror sometimes.
jeongin sometimes brings girls home, quick, loud fucks against the wall you can hear through the thin glass, him moaning “yeah baby just like that” while the girl giggles. when he’s alone he jerks off in front of his computer with the volume up, pretty mouth always left open as his face twists. hot.
he parties hard, comes home at 4am stumbling, pisses in the sink(???) then crashes on the bed still wearing shoes. one morning you watch him wake up, scratch his balls for a solid minute, then immediately light a cig before even brushing his teeth.
eats cereal randomly just because he’s jn the mood to, milk dripping down his chin. cutie.
han acts like a teenage girl. lying on his stomach, legs swinging, on his phone. you don’t understand why doesn’t he have bitches. he’s attractive.
another night he jerks off in his room, quiet little gasps, whispering “fuck fuck fuck” under his breath because he’s trying not to wake minho.
minho, meanwhile, scratches his ass crack through his boxers while cooking, dick soft but outline visible. makes your mouth water. you also see him jerk off once in silence, back to window, hot, hand moving under the sheet, cums with just an exhale, rolls over and sleeps like nothing happened. you felt like hitting the jackpot there.
felix’s bedroom window at the fucking mansion is second floor but the tree’s perfect. he’s home most nights because “studying” means discord with the boys. scratching nipple absentmindedly while talking shit. jerks off on call with the boys once, cam off mic off, “hold up guys brb” then wet slapping sounds, heavy breathing, “fuck fuck fuck” cums with a hot manly groan, then unmutes, camera back, back to game “aight i’m good”.
or “bro i’d let her sit on my face till i pass out for reaaal.” his mom calls him down for dinner and he yells back “five minutes, ma!” then goes right back to describing in graphic detail how he’d fuck someone.
jerks off to hentai, by the way. loud moans from the anime girls on screen while he strokes himself on his bed, whispering “yes mommy” unironically at one point. you nearly fall out of the tree laughing.
showers with his bathroom door open sometimes, takes his slutty little showers hot, singing badly(could be good if he did some training tho, there’s a potential), towel around that babe waist when he walks back into the room, drops it to air dry, cock bouncing as he flops on bed to scroll. scratches balls while texting, leg up, full view. you’re in love.
you’re in love with how they are. how they live. how they do, what they do.
you know a lot and you’re in love with that lot. you know chan watches sport. you know minho stares at himself in the mirror after showering, tracing his scar, flexing his arms, proud of himself. you know changbin eats an entire family size bag of chips in bed, crumbs everywhere, falls asleep like that. you know hyunjin humps his pillow in his sleep. you know han always walks around the place just in boxers. you know felix kisses his mom on cheek after saying the nastiest shit online, then goes upstairs to smoke and jack off again. you know seungmin yells at everything, from football on the tv to dogs barking outside. you know jeongin has surprisingly good piss aim.
they’re so boys. so gross. so human. so hot.
you watch them scratch, curse, jerk, eat, sleep, piss, flex, throw up, moan, laugh, cry once (changbin after a bad day, curled up hugging pillow, sniffling like a kid). you watch them live like no one’s watching.
but you are.
always.
you see them be everything. changbin brings hyunjin coffee in bed one morning. chan helps an old lady with her groceries then comes home and immediately sniffs his armpits and makes a face. felix argues with his dad about college but then hugs him after. jeongin texts the group chat stupid shit at the middle of the fucking night and they all reply instantly even when half asleep. han blushes at his own horniness. things like these.
goooood you’re such a fucking creep.
sitting in your car at 2am with the seat leaned back, binoculars fogging up from how hard you’re breathing, heart doing this stupid shit it’s never done before.
you used to kill people and feel nothing in general. now it’s like… discovering fanfiction and vibrators at the same time. head over heels. stomach always full of butterflies. first crush of your entire empty life.
you didn’t even know feelings could do this.
growing up you were just… flat. eh. meh. other synonyms. kill, move on, kill again.
but these assholes made your feelings turn on. these useless dumb fucks. genuinely what do they provide to society.
you recognize yourself smiling during the day thinking about chan’s body. you think about hyunjin’s gentle voice while fingering yourself in the shower. minho’s nose. han’s teeth. jeongin’s face shape. changbin’s face fat. felix’s flat little boy ass. seungmin’s way of controlling his eyebrows. all so unbelievably hot.
you’re in love. actual disgusting love. with all eight of them. simultaneously. that’s actually eight times feeling more than you ever did.
you have never felt and you do it in eight ways now. it’s brain melting.
but you just love them so much.
to start with, felix’s happy trail is brutal.
that sooooft little line of dark hair disappearing under his waistband when he walks around his room shirtless maybe after a shower, still damp, oh your fucking GOD. you watched him scratch it absently one night while arguing with his discord friends, and you almost fell out the tree.
it’s not even that deep, just a normal boy happy trail, but on him it looks like an arrow pointing to heaven and you want to follow it with your tongue until he’s begging.
jeongin’s dimples. fuuuck. when he grins that sly, cheeky grin after telling one of the boys to suck his dick, those little dents just pop in his cheeks and you feel it straight in your clit. you always have to bite your fist not to moan out loud while watching him.
you want to kiss them, bite them, sit on his face while he smiles up at you with those stupid dimples.
chan’s shoulders. unreal. usually slightly sunburnt from whatever outdoor shit he does, flexing everytime he reaches for something on the top shelf or does push ups in his living room(why do men enjoy that? fucking asshole). you love how they fill out his shirts, how they look when he’s shirtless scratching his lower back, how they push his traps up when he rolls them. like daddy let me grip them while u fuck me slow, telling me i’m safe even though i’m the actual danger.
hyunjin’s hair and that mouth(that looks like it but didn’t get lip filler, at least you didn’t find any information of that). the way his hair falls into his eyes when he’s laughing at changbin, how he smiles when he’s being evil. you watched him brush his teeth once, foam at the corners, then spit and smile at himself in the mirror because he’s proud to be pretty. so cute. you want that mouth on every part of you.
changbin’s got this smile, this warm, boyish face shape that makes you feel okay even from fifty feet away through a window. his whole build is just friendly, good to be around. you love that softness. want to fuck it up just a little. but mostly just fuck it in general. you want to fuck this man. bad.
seungmin’s mouth, from the bratty shit he spits at people to the way it has this triangle shape sometimes. like okay world class bottom stfu but also like keep talking u cute. like a little puppy. most kissable mouth on earth. caressable face. boopable nose. suckable dick.
minho’s face shape. his nose. the way he moves his eyes, eyebrows. finding this man felt like winning the lottery, watching him slap on han’s back and laugh at whatever the other did. you want him to fuck you with those intense beautiful eyes locked, hand over your mouth so you don’t wake the roommate.
you’d scream anyway. not to be a brat, just because you’re too in love with these men to not feel that good. but it he wants you to be, you could be a brat too, of course.
han’s nervousness, his awkward energy. the whole setting of the guy. the way his pretty face goes red and he looks down at his feet, kicking the air around??? hot babe. you watched him try to hide a boner during movie night by crossing his legs awkwardly, blushing, and it was the cutest fucking thing ever. you want to make him blush harder while you’re on your knees.
you feel… never better. ever. about the way felix’s already deep voice cracks when he gets excited on discord. jeongin’s cigarette smoke curling around his jawline. chan’s happy trail too, you’re dripping wet just thinking about it. hyunjin’s long fingers when he plays with some kind of smoke. changbin’s pretty little handwriting on the grocery list stuck to the fridge. seungmin’s ass posture. minho’s veiny arms. han’s messy bedhead every morning.
at first it scared you, feelings? gross. attachment? even grosser. all of it ew, ew, ew!
you sat in your car after one particularly long stalking session, hands shaking, not understanding what the fuck was happening. you didn’t have a word for it until you googled shit, turns out it’s called a crush.
it’s so pink. it’s embarrassing. your notebook (yes you have a notebook now, you absolute creep) is full of little doodles, hearts around jeongin’s name, stars next to hyunjin’s, tiny knives next to seungmin(??? tf is your problem).
you’re in love with men. specifically these eight men. their smells (you’ve gotten close enough some nights to catch hints of deodorant and boy sweat), their laughs, their boners, their kindness, their evilness, their stupidity.
you love how they scratch their (big) asses, how they announce horniness, how they always beat each other up.
it feels like you’re floating on pure pink. fuck!! rainbows out your ass. little hearts above your head. genfuckinguinely. your brain is 80% vibrating dildos and 20% planning the most meticulous breaking and entering schedule known to man.
because that’s what you’re going to do.
night one, chan’s place when he’s sleeping over at hyunjin and changbin’s. easy entry through the bathroom window he always leaves cracked because “fresh air, bro.” the fucking second your shoes touch his floor you feel like fucking exploding.
better than any kill you’ve ever done.
you giggle. you have to slap a hand over your fuckass mouth.
you look through his laundry basket first, bury your face in a worn t shirt that smells like sweat and pure christopher chahn bahng. steal one of his gray sweatpants (what else, they’re overrated but for a good reason) and a pair of boxers.
you open his fridge, touch the beer cans, lick the rim of one. disgusting fucking freak. spin around in his living room, arms out, laughing because this is insane and you’re so happy it hurts. you’re so in love that you’re this disgustingly cringe. you’re such a girl.
you leave with a hoodie of his and the sweatpants & boxers.
night two, jeongin’s. fire escape is your best friend. you pick the lock on his balcony door with shaking hands that are shaking from excitement, not even accidentally fear. you have no reason to be afraid(you have all the reasons to). you’re never afraid bfr.
inside it smells like cig smoke, a good cologne, and boy. you steal his half empty pack of cigarettes, the lighter with the scratched on dick drawing, and a t shirt with some print on it that was on the floor and maybe cum stains on the inside.
you roll around on his unmade bed, face pressed into his pillow, inhaling deep while your thighs clench together. the rush is so strong you have to sit on the floor for a minute just breathing through it, laughing to yourself. you’re fucking unbearable.
you take a pair of his socks and a mug besides the lighter and the cigarettes and the shirt, all of it in the shirt which is tied together. when you climb back out you’re spinning on the fire escape.
night three, changbin and hyunjin’s loft. they’re both out at some group thing so the place is empty and waiting just for you. you go through their bathroom, steal hyunjin’s strawberry scented body wash (makes your pussy drip), one’s dirty sock from the laundry, and changbin’s toothbrush. men don’t miss shit like these.
from hyunjin’s room you take one of his hoodies and the vape he left charging. he’ll just bitch to bin about losing it. from changbin’s you pick his perfume up, dig a shirt out of the back of his closet, spray it on until it’s swimming in it, then open the window so he’s less likely to smell it when he comes back, take the shirt with you.
you sit on their couch for abt ten minutes just imagining them wrestling there, then jump and hop and squeal around for a while.
you leave with their shared grocery list stuck to the fridge as a souvenir.
day four, han’s and minho’s. han’s room is a mess of energy drinks and dirty clothes. you steal one random pokemon card he left on his table (he has hundreds) and a pair of his boxers that have little dinosaurs on them. cuuuuute. you want to make him cum through them one day.
minho’s room is… kind of tidy, just as much as a man can be tidy. you take one of his hoodies that smells clean, maybe out the laundry recently, plus the book he’s halfway through with his little underlines. he’ll buy another one, suspect han for making it disappear because who else. you heard minho talking about wanting cats once. han wasn’t against it. sounds nice. hm, you’d be down to pet a cat right now. maybe on the way home.
the fucking rush after locking the door behind you makes your knees weak. holy fucking fucked pegged shit. men.
five, seungmin’s hellhole. balcony door was unlocked. dumbass. inside it’s takeout boxes and laundry mountain. you steal one of his best looking hoodies, a half used bottle of his body wash that smells aggressively masculine, and the pillowcase from his bed. smells like scalp. men. good.
you sit on his couch and imagine him jerking off(standard girl in love activity, actually)(like stop reading and take a moment to imagine the man jack it), then stand up and do a little spin, giggling tf around while clutching the pillowcase to your face. you feel like you could run a marathon and finger yourself at the same time.
day six, felix’s parents’ mansion. hardest one, had to wait until his parents were out and he was at a class.
you climb the tree, pop the window lock, climb into his room that smells like fucking heaven because of those flavored car batteries he sucks on plus the expensive ass cologne he sprayed on before leaving. you steal one of his college hoodies and the hentai body pillow he hides under his bed (you almost scream laugh when you find it).
you roll around on his bed for a solid five minutes, face buried in his pillow, legs kicking in the air, rubbing on your clit for a bit but not enough to cum, you heard something outside and even though you kinda knew it wasn’t a human, better not to risk it and lose one of the loves of your life. when you climb back down the tree you’re giggling so hard you nearly miss a branch.
in the car you’re screaming, fucking deadass crying punching the steering wheel because you’re so fucking happy.
seven, back to changbin and hyunjin again? no, you already did them. you saved the second round for overlaps but actually you hit chan again? nooo. you planned it, after the first pass you come back smarter, but this time you’re just riding the high. for the love of the game fr. actually you do a quick second hit on jeongin because his place called to you, steal another cig pack and one of his used condoms from the trash. giggle the whole way home.
there we go.
you sit in your apartment surrounded by the shit you got, your treasures quite fucking literally, hoodies on your bed, stolen socks, the lighter, the toothbrush, the dino boxers, the body washes, the cum stained t shirt, the body pillow, the grocery list, everything.
you’re horrible. spinning in circles in the middle of your living room with your arms out, one of the socks on your hand. fuck u so jolly about.
you haven’t laughed like this in your entire fucking life.
you love these stupid beautiful assholes.
you pull chan’s sweatpants over your face and inhale, then grab jeongin’s lighter and flick it on just to watch the flame while you cackle. you have never done dumb shit like this ever.
but it’s pink. rainbows. hearts. vibrators on max. girl.
you’re dizzy and horny and happier than any serial killer has any right to be because you’re a horrible person.
the feeling is…
everything.
you’re in love.
your apartment looks… fucking pathetic, to be honest with you. you really do need some fucking help. random men’s hoodies around the place, the socks, jeongin’s cig packs sitting on your nightstand next to the lighter with the dick, felix’s body pillow propped up on the couch (you say hi to her every morning), hyunjin’s body wash in your shower so you can smell like him while you fuck yourself. yeah we’re not talking about how many of those things have lived inside you by now. we’re definitely not talking about the nights you rode chan’s pants or used changbin’s toothbrush handle when you were too lazy to grab a toy.
anyways.
you truly, deeply, absolutely, surely love them.
it’s not just lust anymore. it’s pink. sweet. you love the men shit. the cute shit. the everything shit.
you love watching them touch each other. when they’re being boyish and friendly and rough. that’s so sweet when men do that. hyunjin pulling dirty laundry over changbin’s head then wrestling. chan clapping seungmin on the back so hard that you’d die if you were seungmin, then pulling him into a quick bro hug. jeongin throwing an arm around han’s shoulders while they’re walking to the car, ruffling his hair until han laughs and shoves him off. minho being pressed up to han’s side when sitting somewhere. felix passing a vape or a cig or whatever shit they ruin themselves with to hyunjin and their fingers brushing.
you see these and feel like you’re the one being touched. like their hands on each other are on you too.
you love how they move. how loud they are. how they look at each other across tables when they’re in public.
such friends. ones you never had. such boys. that never interested you until now.
you love when they’re on the game(average man activity). you’ve got a spot outside han and minho’s place where you can hear the yelling through the cracked window. han screaming while his legs kick in the air. minho grunting. once you zoned out and imagined those were the sounds of them fucking. unfortunately, wasn’t.
or at jeongin’s, where you can hear him saying disgusting shit. calling the others virgins and cucks and things he can’t say. or seungmin, either hyping minho up or telling felix to kill himself. felix doing a hundred things beside the game and still managing to play good. hyunjin’s tongue poking out when he focuses too hard. changbin dying, slamming a few things, then going over to hyunjin’s room to watch him play. chan is mostly quiet, he needs his mouth shut to pay attention to playing, can’t multitask like that. you learned that too.
you sit somewhere in the dark where you can see one of them from with your hand between your legs and feel fucking proud of them.
you love when they visit their parents. their parents are really different, each’s. you caught han nervously fixing his hair before heading to his parents’ place, then coming back and announcing to minho “dude my mom still thinks i’m a virgin lmao.”
they’re adorable.
seungmin’s visits are shorter, you hear him arguing with his dad through an open window but he still hugs him goodbye. jeongin gets to family barbecues drunk, always smiling, flirts with his own aunt by accident.
the others’ visits aren’t that interesting. felix lives with his parents, we know that. hyunjin’s parents are chill, kind of boring. changbin sometimes takes hyunjin with him. minho brings shit(though his cats aren’t the only thing purring when you see him play with them there) chan’s parents live in another country, you only can listen to the phone calls.
you follow them to the grocery store and watch what they buy. you sit outside the gym when they go lift together, peeking through the window as they spot each other, grunting, sweating, clapping hands. fucking pussy dripping. you follow them to the movies and watch jeongin throw popcorn at han’s head while hyunjin rests his head on minho’s shoulder.
you’re so in love it’s pathetic.
and like… you used to be empty. now you’re overflowing with emotions. just how you wish chan would flood you ;)
and now there’s this new feeling creeping in. one not so pink.
it’s… best way to explain it would be ice through your chest. a cringe thing to say but it’s the realest, maybe.
because they don’t know you.
they met you once in the woods, even only half of them met you there. they have no idea where you are now.
they don’t know your name. they don’t know you killed a guy at seventeen first and kept going because ending lives is the only thing that makes you feel(besides their cute asses now, or course). they don’t know you’ve broken into every single one of their homes and touched everything they own.
they think you’re just some random girl who already went away
it hurts. you want them to know you.
everytime one of your boys so much as looks at a girl, you have to kill. jealousy. the sudden urge to dig another hole in the woods. you tell yourself it’s because they’re your men, your boys. you watched them first. you have their hoodies and their shirts and their fucking toothbrushes. those girls are just temporary. shit that needs to be silenced.
and good thing you’re a serial killer, right?
good thing for you.
bad fucking news for any bitch who’s not you.
jeongin is the worst offender. he brings girls home like a revolving door fr. you watch from a fire escape while he grinds against some random club girl against the wall, she moans his name, his flawless dimples are out as he smiles. the dimples that are supposed to make an appearance for you. you see his hands on her waist, see him laughing into her neck, see him fuck her fast and her face not facing him because it doesn’t mean anything. afterward he offers her a smoke, and you have to throw up.
you hate her.
you hate the way she touches him. you hate her voice, her hair, her body, her face, her everything.
so you follow her.
easy. she’s drunk, stumbling out of jeongin’s building at night with a post fuck glow that makes you want to carve it off her. you follow her, remember where she lives. two nights later you sneak in and hit her once with the shovel, right to the temple. the bag you brought is big enough. you zip her up still warm, drag her out the same way you dragged your last body, load her into the trunk while humming some song changbin was singing while cooking last week. woods again. deeper this time. hole bigger than usual because you want to insult her a little.
you go back to jeongin’s place the next night, he’s on the phone with the boys, laughing about how the girl from last weekend “ghosted him” and how he’s already eyeing someone new at the club.
you’ll end her too. it’s always going to be the same end, that he’s safe again. he’s yours again.
you catch felix flirting with a girl at the mall once. she giggles, touches his arm. you follow her home too. another bag. another trip to the woods. you bury her shallow because you’re in a hurry to get back and watch felix game with the boys, listening to him complain that “girls never text back”
you would. immediately.
hyunjin and changbin bring a couple girls to a group hangout once. nothing serious, just friends of friends, but you watch as one of them sits close to hyunjin, laughing at his jokes, whatnot. you would do the same, he’s beautiful. three days later she disappears after a yoga class. they never find the body. hyunjin is unbothered.
seungmin hooks up with some girl who calls him “daddy” and he laughs at it. oh? fuck you “oh”ing about, you hate it. you follow her to her car after she leaves his place, bash her skull, stuff her in the trunk of her own car, drive it out to the woods yourself.
chan doesn’t bring many girls home usually, though one night you watch a tall brunette leave his apartment at sunrise, she makes it two more days before you catch her jogging and choke her.
han doesn’t get bitches. girls talk to minho but he never goes anywhere with them.
han could pull you. already did, if we think about it. and you’d take minho out.
you love them.
you really, really love them.
and love means keeping them safe from anyone who tries to take even a second of their attention.
that’s only natural.
so everytime another girl smiles at one of your boys, everytime she touches what’s yours, everytime she exists too close, you pick up the shovel.
what you also began to pick up on is where do the boys usually hang out. you know each’s full schedules now.
you’re following them on the street now, after one of their little bro nights. men are so cute. hood up, one of jeongin’s stolen cigs between your lips even though you don’t smoke, just like the imagine of the taste of his mouth on it.
the eight of them are loud as usual, taking up the whole sidewalk, fucking asshole men and not noticing themselves. assholes. hyunjin and changbin are bumping into each other on purpose, han’s in the middle fidgeting with his phone, felix and chan smoking something together, passing it back n forth, jeongin walking backwards trying to talk to minho who just gives him a middle finger.
then. some other guy group rounds a corner. about seven guys, typical dumbasses, they’re quieter. one of them clips chan hard, shoulder to shoulder.
“excuse me bro.” the guy mutters.
“excused.” chan says. clear, wanting to sound like an asshole.
the dude turns around like chan just called his mom a whore, grabs chan by the hoodie, yanks him back hard enough to make his feet skid. hits him. chan ducks though, punch goes past his ear. wow. hot. and also pretty fucking concerning, watch out sweetie.
han’s dumb little ass tries to step in with a confused little “yo what the fu—” and catches an elbow straight to the cheek from one of the other guys. he stumbles, hand flying to his face. it’s adorable. “dude i didn’t do anything! what the fuuuck!”
oh but no worries, seungmin immediately swings on the guy that hit han. but then we also have to keep in mind that seungmin is not that strong at all, so changbin can’t help but help him out with another hit.
jeongin drops his cig, smiles, glee as he swings on the biggest one. dumbest fuck on the planet. oooh by then hyunjin is dodging. makes his hair bounce, pretty. can’t land any hit tho, doesn’t even try to. and minho is just too manly to not do at least a little good.
little.
felix is… trying to turn away. pussy. gets yanked tf back.
okay. wow. you follow it as it moves into a little side street, alley almost. bodies slamming into dumpsters, trash bags splitting open, someone’s shoe flying.
fucking men. only they’re this animalistic to do this. dumb.
god they look hot fighting tho.
you’re dripping wet. chan’s shirt rides up everytime he throws a punch, the way that man’s muscles move. jeongin’s laughing with a split lip. he’s gorgeous. hyunjin moves like a dancer, quite fucking literally(with evil in his heart, men are evil). changbin’s protecting han, throwing himself between. fucking respect. seungmin hits just for fun. minho actually manages. han is whining “guys i’m fine, ow fuck—” blood comes from his nose. felix… is having the worst night of his life. it’s so fucking hilarious you have to bite your fist.
they’re not winning tho.
seungmin takes a solid hit to the jaw that snaps his head back. jeongin’s on the ground for a second before rolling away. hyunjin’s perfect lip is bleeding. changbin’s shielding han but catching kicks. chan’s breathing hard. felix keeps getting yanked back. minho is the last one standing tall but even he’s slowing.
you want to, but you don’t interfere. this is their fight. their stupid boy moment. their chance to be loud and dumb and protective of each other. you want to see them like this, bleeding, these looks aren’t crossed off your list yet. you want to watch. the punches, grunts, when one of them checks on another midfight (“you good han?” “fuck off i’m fine”).
“you’re getting your ass kicked!” that’s jeongin, then gets yanked backwards. “okay, i’m getting my ass kicked—”
felix is on the ground, back against the wall, arms up trying to shield his head. rich kid. the guy on him brings a fist back, real heavy, about to turn felix’s skull into red paste on the bricks.
your body moves, your brain doesn’t even know about it. that’s for not interfering. belt. gun. into your palm.
bang.
one shot. right through the side of the guy’s head.
dude drops instantly.
felix lets out the most pathetic, girly yelp you’ve ever heard. “FUCK—holy shit what the fuck—” he scrambles backward on the wall on his ass, legs kicking, so scared, staring at the body and then up at you.
suddenly the guys don’t want trouble. “yo what the fuck—” “we’re good, we’re good—” “cops, man, fuck this—” they go real quick. tripping over each other.
the alley goes dead quiet. well, if we don’t count the heavy breathing and the drip of blood, maybe.
your boys are standing there bleeding, bruised, staring.
you’re shaking.
your lips are trembling. the gun is trembling in your hand. your knees feel like they might give out any second. dizzy.
hyunjin… smiles. chuckles. stumbles over, blood on his split lip, eyes big. “hey… hey it’s you.” he reaches up slowly, brushes the hair out of your face with shaking fingers, then tilting your head so he can see you better. “hi. hi. talk to me. hey, look at me. you okay? talk to me, please.” he can see you’re not okay.
his other hand comes up to hold your gun wrist, his big, warm palm wrapping around yours to keep the trembling gun in it’s place. he would never take that gun from you.
chan wipes blood from his mouth with the back of his hand, the pieces click in his perfect, genuinely perfect head. steps closer, keeps a respectful distance, more cautious though. you just shot someone. “alright. oh, uh, this is the girl hyune ran into that night in the woods. remember? whatever.” he glances at the body, then back at you. “you good?”
your lips are shaking, trying to open your mouth to answer. acting a bit too good.
changbin’s cute little mouth takes an o shape as he realizes. seungmin spits blood on the ground, proccesses. that’s for the guys who “met” you already.
jeongin? chest heaving, watching. minho? same. han? don’t be stupid, barely standing straight. felix, still on the ground, ass in a puddle, staring at the dead guy next to him. “what the fuuuuuuuck.”
jeongin finally finds his voice. “headshot.” yeah staying quiet would have been nice too, babe.
hyunjin holds your face. “hey, ignore them for a second. look at me. just talk to me, okay? tell me what’s going on in that pretty head. you’re trembling so bad, got you. it’s okay.”
your lips won’t stop shaking. all eight of them are looking at you.
good girl, y/n.
gooooood fucking girl.
that’s how you get something you want.
“i didn’t… i didn’t hurt any of you, did i?” you mumble out. c’mon, you could have easily answered to hyunjin, didn’t on purpose.
they all shake their heads.
“we’re good. you just… saved felix’s stupid head.” hyunjin says. “what’s your name? tell me your name.”
“y/n…”
chan steps closer, shrugging off his jacket. he trusts you more now, obviously. it’s warm from his body, has the smell you’ve jerked off to more times than you can count. he drapes it over your shoulders, big hands adjusting the collar. “here. keep it. looks better on you anyway.”
he means that to make you smile. it does, just not with the lips on your face.
han(sweet, grateful, still bleeding from the nose) comes up to you too and and wraps his arms around you in a biiiiig hug. crushes you, kinda. he obviously doesn’t hug(or touch) girls often. but like. oh?
you lean into him, let him hold you, fucking MILKING it, forehead pressing into his shoulder. he smells good.
“thank you. thank you so much. seriously.” he says. “i thought my face was about to get rearranged. thank you.”
the face hyunjin makes because he just got pushed away from you.
felix is standing up just now, brushing dirt off his ass, legs wobbly. it’s okay, baby.
you’re shaking harder now, but from them. this close. han’s arms around you. his body on yours. chan’s jacket on you. that you’re the center of their attention.
they have no idea you’re a major creep who’s been stalking their every move for weeks.
they have no idea the shaking is because you’re standing in the middle of your eight crushes and your pussy is throbbing so hard you’re scared they’ll smell it.
to them you’re just y/n. the woods girl. their savior.
“my—my name’s hyunjin. by the way. i’ve been thinking about you since the woods.” okay mr loverboy. attached asf. “lean on han if you need to. thank you.”
han keeps one arm around your waist, hand pressing into you so he’s really holding you, keeping you up against his side, bouncing you lightly. “got heeeer.” now you get why they call him by his surname.
changbin nods. “yeah, seriously. han’s got you. i, uh, i’ll grab water from the car. felix, stop pacing, you’re making her dizzy.”
felix mutters “sorry” but keeps doing little anxious circles anyway.
“shut the fuck up, bin.” chan says. mean daddy. “she’s probably in shock. y/n, you want us to walk you somewhere? call someone? or… shit, you wanna come back to one of our places and sit down for a minute?”
they really do want you to know they’re grateful.
only if they knew.
han squeezes you tighter, better, turns his head to look at your face, his cheeks are pink. both at the closeness of a girl, something he doesn’t usually get, bitchless little asshole, and at the fact that all this just happened to him. you want to bite them.
you’re dizzy. lips trembling. they can see that. all of them can. all are looking.
finally looking at you.
finally touching you.
finally grateful.
jeongin takes a big breath, fishes a cig out of his pocket. offers it to you with shaky fingers. “want one? helps with the nerves sometimes. or… nah? cool, cool.” he lights it for himself instead.
they’re all over you. making sure you’re okay. making sure you know they’re grateful as fuck.
you’re dizzy. crazy.
“uh, okay, shit, alright.” chan says, looking around. “we’re not leaving a fucking corpse in the middle of downtown. bin, seungmin, lix, do something about it.”
seungmin throws his skinny arms up. “the fuck? why me? fuck off.”
changbin throws his hands up too. he’s adorable. “broooo! what if i puke? what if i cry? i’m sensitive! i was just about to bring her water!”
felix keeps shaking his head. “no no no, i have to go home! my mom’s gonna kill me! i’m literally the weakest link here, you saw me get handled like a bitch the whole fight!” poor boy he was so scared that he couldn’t talk until now, couldn’t talk to you, to any of them out of shock, and now his words have to be defending himself :(
“okay, jeongin then.”
jeongin’s hands fly up, burning cig in one. “dudeee! what the fuck, man?! i throw up when i see ketchup packets open wrong! i’m delicate!”
chan rolls his eyes. sassy. “do it.”
seungmin grumbles the entire time, calling everyone “pussies” and “useless cumrags” while he starts searching for helpful shit with aggression. changbin is whimpering “i’m gonna throw up, i’m gonna throw up” as he holds the legs. felix keeps trying to “guys my parents love me, they’ll notice if i come home smelling like death, please—” himself out of it until hyunjin turns and tells him he’ll tell felix’s dad what happened. felix shuts up and grabs an arm, muttering “this is bullshit.”
changbin mutters “i’m telling my mom you made me do this.”
“go.”
“what if i just supervise?” felix.
“dude, just… do it.” jeongin mutters, given up.
chan sighs. “we’ll walk y/n home. text the gc when it’s done and don’t fuck it up.” turns to you, voice changes to angelic. “c’mon, y/n.”
the four of them look crushed because wdym chan did this to them, made them do this then left with the bad bitch. (oh chan would’ve taken you only with him but he knows he couldn’t make hyunjin, han and minho also stay away.)
but the other four are already walking you out. around you. manly. about you.
han hasn’t let go of your waist(through chan’s jacket) the whole time, just so that you’ll stay upright. he’s worried. you seemed so unstable before, he has to hold you, right? he doesn’t want you to fall over, get hurt.
you’re leaning into him, eyes basically bout to close from bliss.
chan looks cute, just walking, hands in pockets, looking down then up. “you, uh, always carry that gun around? haha.”
“yeah… i just… got it after some bad shit happened. never thought i’d actually use it.” lie. smooth as butter. “i don’t like hurting people but… he was gonna smash your friend’s head in. i just reacted.” you almost said felix’s head. almost slipped. didn’t. gonna reward yourself later with a sweet treat or fucking yourself with changbin’s toothbrush again.
hyunjin is walking backwards so he can keep looking at you. he shoves his phone into your hands, screen on to add contact. “put your number in, hm? don’t want you to disappear again.”
oh. okay. wow. what a romantic. you don’t even know what to answer.
you take it, type yourself in with trembling fingers. he grins(that beautiful hyunjin grin) when you hand it back, immediately texting you a little heart emoji so you have his number too. hello??
han bounces you again. “here, wait.” he fishes his out and holds it under your nose. “i wanna be able to check on you.“
WOW. you add your number. he saves it as y/n.
then, oh, a phone is poked under your arm from behind. you glance back and minho gives you a tiny tiny smile, eyes adorable. aww. you add your number too. he takes the phone back without a word, right corner of his mouth twitches up. bitch kinda autistic but bad asf.
chan opens his mouth, doesn’t have the balls to ask for your number too. will ask for it from the others. “oh, uh, that’s minho. anyway, you saved felix back there. changbin, buff one, is also there. longer one’s seungmin,” longer one, pfft. “and jeongin. you already know hyunjin. uh, han.” han turns his face into yours to smile at you. “i’m chan. or chris. whatever.”
“you guys seem… really close. it was kinda nice seeing you all stick up for each other.” you’re doing amazing, y/n.
hyunjin runs his fingers up your arm once. he knows women like that. he knows how to use himself. “and then you saved us. my hero.” cringe. romantic. makes your knees weak.
“yeah, thanks.” minho mutters.
you can’t believe this is happening.
these are the boys you’ve been stalking for weeks. the ones whose hoodies you sleep in, the ones you’ve watched jerk off, scratch their asses, visit their moms. and now they’re all over you, talking bout some you’re their hero. ha.
“i’m glad none of you got hurt too bad. i just… reacted.” you manage.
hyunjin tilts his head charmingly as he sighs. acting, just like you are, except he really does feel overwhelming love, just using tricks he learned over the years. “you reacted perfectly. now you’ve got our numbers. use them. text me, okay? i’ll worry otherwise.”
han squeezes your waist. “same. and if you need anything, y’know, ride, food, someone to talk to, just say the word.“
you can’t believe this is real.
like this is actually fucking happening?? you’re fucking shaking, trembling not to turn and jump into minho’s arms or whatever.
when you finally reach your building han gives you one last gentle bounce and a tight hug. he’s physical. “text us when you’re inside, okay? don’t disappear.”
hyunjin leans in, presses a soft kiss to your forehead. doing a bit too much for just meeting you. on purpose. “goodnight, y/n. thank you, again.”
only one that knows about your little ex story. well, that’s fake, but still, only one. and still he be doing toooo much but you’re too in love to process it as anything but charming.
chan claps your shoulder lightly. “get some rest.”
minho nods, mouth pulled into a tiny line. he’s adorable. little meow meow. “goodnight.”
you wave with shaky hands, and mind you, they’re waiting for you to go in. real men asf not leaving until you’re safe for sure. han is smiling, wide, boy, hyunjin is waving, tilting his head, angelic, chan and minho are chatting.
apartment door shuts. okay. you have to get up to your floor. shit. your legs are shaking.
you manage.
the second your door shuts behind you, you slide down to the floor, breathing hard, having to squeak. cry. smile. laugh. scream. slam yourself into something.
it’s an unbearable feeling. it actually feels bad, no matter how good you feel, it’s so much that it’s torture.
phone pings.
hyunjin: heyy it’s hyunjin, you home safe?
han: did u make it?? u were so shaky lol
han: im hwn
han: han
han: soery
han: you can also call me jisung if u want :)
chan: this is chan. u kay?
minho doesn’t text. pussy. stares at chan’s phone over chan’s shoulder tho. and of course, you don’t have their names pre saved, we’re just signaling that you know who’s texting. save them later as their names though.
this is actually happening.
all eight end up having your number eventually.
you’re not used to this. you’re used to watching them from shadows, not having them reach out.
you’re actually wanted. each notif of your phone is a tiny electric shock straight to your clit and your stupid heart.
and god they be texting JUST to text.
chan: my jacket looks better on u than it ever did on me lol hahaha u keeping it?
or shit like
chan: heyyy u eat yet today? i’m grabbing food rn u want anything i can drop off
chan: that was wild what u did. still thinking about it. thx. u good tho? fr
they’re angels.
minho: hi it’s minho
minho: u ok?
minho: thanks for stepping in
minho: text me if u need anything. seriously.
changbin: hey it’s changbin!!🥰 thanks again for saving lix seriously!!
changbin: u looked cute in channie’s jacket btw. u keeping it? u can have mine too if u want
boi NOT subtle but atleast cute with his little emojis.
changbin: we were talking about u earlier.
changbin: all good things promise
changbin: 😊
he’s a BABE. you would usually fucking block a man for using emojis but you know him (even if he doesn’t know that) and he’s so sincere that it turns you on.
hyunjin: heyy
hyunjin: i was thinkinh about u today
hyunjin: u sleep okay after everything?
hyunjin: miss seeing ur face alrdy. when u free?
han: y/n u awake?? u were so cool but also u were so shaky i’m worried lol
han: osrye
han: *sorry
han: sorry lol
felix: heyyy i’m felix u shot the guy on me
felix: i didn’t thank you then
felix: but seriously tysm i owe u my life fr
felix: how are u?
he just wants to talk.
seungmin: hey
seungmin: i was w the boys i’m seungmin
he was biting his nails shaking while he wrote that.
seungmin: u need anything let me know
the only reason the messages aren’t full of typos because he reread them a hundred times before sending because he wanted to look good. with the boys he’s all typos and doesn’t care.
jeongin: heyyyeyey i’m innie from the alley
jeongin: u free this weekend?
STRAIGHT to the point.
every single text makes your hands shake so bad you have to set the phone down and breathe. you’re shocked every time. actually shocked. they’re texting you. voluntarily. with dumb excuses. because they want to talk to you.
you have to sit down when hyunjin texts “thinking about you” or when chan offers to pick you up for coffee “no pressure but i wanna see that pretty face again.” you press their hoodies to your face and squeak into the fabric because this can’t be real.
you don’t know this yet, but they feel the same for you. well, not as hard, but they also have crushes on you.
charmed out of their boy minds. they talk about you constantly when they’re together. you’re always the topic. they’re just boys with crushes because you were badass.
little example, one night at chan’s place they’re all around when jeongin goes “bros i’m not even joking i played with myself aaaall night long thinking about y/n and that gun. came twice.“ oh they’re COMFORTABLE.
han and felix immediately start hugging each other on the floor, giggling and squealing. GROWN ASS MEN.
seungmin throws his head back, raking his nails down his face. “step on me dude.”
changbin leans forward. “she smelled so nice too.”
han falls forward. “SO NICE.”
they keep doing this. they want you around. they want to check on you, feed you, make you enjoy them, fuck you, hold your hand, make you their girl.
they’re charmed. that’s the best word. you charmed them.
take han, his little pathetic ass giggles and bites his fingers whenever he sends you a selfie. others the same but some of them used to be confident with girls. what happened??
you can’t believe they’re this into you. this is real. they like you back. all eight of them. you used to chase them and now they’re chasing you.
but the thing is, they’re so biased, so… dumb, so simple, that they simply don’t mind when you do end up doing something creepy. like oh, the gun was just a one time thing. they totally gotta be gentle with you, according to their logic. like hey u a little scary but that’s cute they want to pet you.
you do sick shit right in front of their faces and it doesn’t register to them. once you were meeting hyunjin and changbin for coffee (their idea) some loud ass guy at the next table was an ass then started loudly hitting on girls when changbin went to take a piss(bc the guy obviously didn’t have the balls to do it while changbin was there, and hyunjin didn’t seem threatening enough to him). you stood up, grabbed the guy’s scalding hot coffee, and poured it straight down the front of his pants.
poor changbin just came back and his pretty mouth fell open.
hyunjin pulled you back. “y/n that was mean… but like he did deserve it.”
they didn’t mind.
another time you headbutted some random guy so hard his nose exploded, then kneed him in the balls twice for good measure. he was provoking you, whatever.
chan looked at you with those dumb man eyes. “you okay? your forehead good?”
han was bouncing on his toes.
another time some weird, sketchy, most likely on drugs guy tried to talk to felix. you ripped the guy’s own knife out of his waistband, stabbed it through his hand pinning it to a wooden fence.
felix yelped (of course). seungmin actually clapped. smiled ear to ear.
you were at chan’s place for a movie night when han accidentally spilled soda on felix’s lap. felix joked “y/n would’ve shot me for that.” you deadass pulled the gun out of your bag, pointed it at felix’s forehead.
dead silence for half a second.
then they started squealing at how cute you are.
they’re this dumb.
anyways, the nine of you hang out now. they don’t notice shit. they definitely don’t notice that everytime you go over to their places you’re stealing more shit for yourself.
you “fall asleep” on chan’s couch during a movie so you can stay the night. while he’s sleeping you go through his drawers, steal a pair of his boxers, and take a photo of his search history on his laptop (“how to tell if a girl likes you”). you also lick the rim of the beer bottle he left on the nightstand. he wakes up, sees you curled up next to him, chuckles to himself(take a moment to imagine it, that’s dada) drool practically dripping about you, and goes back to sleep. the man ever.
you help hyunjin and changbin “clean” and end up alone in hyunjin’s room for ten minutes, you steal his hair from his hairbrush (you put it in a little ziplock you fucking psycho), sniff his pillow so hard you almost pass out, and another pair of socks. couldn’t find used ones. when changbin walks in you’re just sitting on the bed looking innocent. he’s mesmerized.
han lets you play his video games in his chair. that’s so cute. he goes to pee and you take photos of his search history too. (“how to ask a girl to sit on your face without sounding weird”) then you end up sitting in his lap in the chair. he bounces you, innocently. though there is a tension there, it’s mostly cute. (you’re slipping his used tissue out of his pocket and into yours)
then while minho is in the shower you go through his laundry and steal multiple things. you two talk after it like nothing happened, you’re just too good.
jeongin’s phone has face id. you had to pay extra attention to his code. got it tho. while he’s passed out drunk you go through it take a photo of every nude he’s ever sent.
but oh you know how to use men’s lust. so he wakes up hungover and sees you wearing his shirt, that was on purpose too. “you look good in my clothes, babe. keep it.” he has no idea you spent twenty minutes sniffing the inside of his dirty laundry basket and rubbed one out during.
same shit with the others. you’re unbelievably good at distraction. they’re all so charmed they don’t see that you’re fucking sick in the head. they don’t see this, they don’t see that, and they especially don’t see you licking blood off your fingers when one of them gets a papercut.
to them you’re just the protective little y/n who sometimes does crazy shit but it’s “so cute when she gets like that.”
dumb fucks.
you’re a major creep, a certified weirdo, and a full blown psychopath, robbing them blind, but they’re too busy being hypnotized, charmed, to notice any of it.
they’re developing brutal crushes on you. not just horny crushes (though there’s plenty of that), they genuinely like you. they think you’re sweet, pretty, funny in your own way, and the fact that you’re creepy… they be turned ON.
one of your favs is how felix acts. his parents love you so they leave you two alone sometimes in the house, those times you usually sit in felix’s lap while he’s at his desk, headset on, playing.
you love feeling him get harder and harder, knowing he’s trying to focus on the game. he whimpers into the mic once and mutes himself so fast.
after the round he always pulls his headset off, face flushed, not knowing what to do. you always tell him he did good. once he actually had to go out for a smoke just because you got him feeling that much.
you also discovered that minho really likes your hand on his thigh. like daddy gets turned on. you keep using that. he’s dying to bend you over.
and oh, was this even a doubt, you keep killing for them.
whenever some stupid bitch or asshole gets too close. last week a girl at the bar kept buying jeongin shots and touching his arm. like you can’t blame her, he’s the dream man, but you still followed her to the bathroom, smashed her head into the sink until she stopped moving, then left her there.
you killed a girl who kept flirting with hyunjin and changbin. another who sent felix nudes on discord. a cashier that rung seungmin up with a flirty smile. another one that han accidentally looked at on the street. (tf, too much y/n, too much.) you’ll keep killing anyone who tries to take even a second of them away from you.
but deep down you’re all such pussies. all nine of you. they like you. a lot. but tell you? never. pussies. can’t grow the balls. and you’re the biggest pussy of all, you’re crazy in love, but you couldn’t tell them if your life depended on it.
you’re at han’s and minho’s place on a random night. han is in the bathroom shaving, door open because we know they’re comfy with you. he’s standing there in just sweatpants, chest a little little hairy but the point is that there’s no shirt, dragging the razor over his jaw. cutie.
“you’re gonna cut yourself if you keep making that face.” you mumble.
han smiles at you in the mirror, breathtakingly beautiful, foam on his upper lip. “then you gotta kiss it better, y/n.”
and this is what we just talked about, he gets shy. he wants to say more, you can see it, but he chickens out and goes back to shaving.
you end up being all over minho at the end of that day. just sitting with him. on him. whatever. he wants to tell you he likes having you here. he doesn’t. pussy.
another night you’re at felix’s house, on your stomach on his bed. his mom made cookies and felix brought the whole plate up for you. you’re eating them while felix plays on his expensive ass setup across the room. he keeps glancing over. it’s cute. you two are a great match. this CRAZY bitch and her loser little boyfriend.
“these are really good.” you tell him. “tell your mom thank you.”
“she likes you. keeps asking when you’re coming over again.” he wants to say i like you too, instead he just scratches the back of his neck and says “stay as long as you want, okay?” he’s beautiful.
you hang out at jeongin’s and he makes you sit on his lap while he rolls a cig. he wants to tell you he’s catching feelings, that it’s not just his dick talking. he chickens out and offers you the cig instead. you always decline. he likes that. strokes your hair like chan does sometimes when you fall asleep with them.
but oh, they’re not stupid. well… they are, but not completely. allat shit they didn’t notice had to catch up sooner or later. you carried that gun like it was a purse. you never seemed scared.
at first they brushed it off. but one night at chan’s place, after you left, the eight of them got into this thing we humans feel sometimes, this you can tell anything rn to your friends, so they kinda go with the feeling while passing around a blunt.
jeongin took a hit, exhaled slowly. “…yo. be real with me. y’all ever think y/n might’ve actually killed people before?”
silence.
then han let out a nervous laugh. “dude. what the fuck. why would you say that?”
“because that guy in the alley, she… didn’t react. looks like she does that shit on the regular. i mean it was hot or whatever but still.”
felix shifted uncomfortably. “i mean… she saved my life. i’m not complaining. but yeah. i’m not saying she’s out here murdering people but… yeah.”
changbin nodded. hummed. adorable little noise.
chan leaned back, rubbing his jaw. “look, if she really is… you know… doing shit… she’s doing it for us.”
hyunjin kept his mouth shut about the little ex story of yours he still thinks is true.
seungmin sighed. stopped the breath. sighed again. “i don’t know man… she scares me sometimes. but not in a bad way. it’s fucked up. like… hot.”
minho and changbin hummed. han looked around, kinda creeped.
they all looked at each other, a little freaked, a little hard, a lot confused.
jeongin looked… really boyish, inexperienced, suddenly. “but… she’s y/n. if she’s killed people… i don’t think i care.”
it’s… nasty. like that’s the best word, nasty, or sad, kinda. they kinda get off on the danger, knowing you might be a murderer makes you powerful in their eyes, it makes them feel chosen. protected. dominated. like they’re the center of your violent little universe.
it feeds their egos. hard. it turns them on because it’s taboo, because it’s fucked up, because deep down some of them have that same fuckedupness(so not a real word) they’ve never admitted out loud. they’re all a little sick in the head, after all, just not as much as you are. like they’re playing with fire and the fire wants to fuck them.
they don’t mind.
which brings us to that night on the dark street next to the forest. it’s just you, seungmin and hyunjin. you three were walking back from grabbing food when some random drunk asshole stumbles out of the trees, clearly fucked up, and starts running his mouth.
you clearly didn’t like that. your demeanor changed so fast. there we go, here it was again. it usually happens like this, when your real personality and the act switch. it happens fast, really… noticeable.
that’s how he got his face slammed into the nearest tree trunk with brutal force by you. once. twice. blood sprayed. guy screamed. you kneed him in the stomach, then when he doubled over you stomped on the back of his knee so hard something snapped.
seungmin and hyunjin froze.
the guy was on the ground groaning, bloody, pathetic when you stopped. it was okay. everything was okay now, right?
hyunjin’s voice (barely)came out quiet. “…y/n.” he swallowed hard. his heart was pounding. part of him was terrified. the bigger part was so turned on he felt dizzy. he wanted to see it. needed to see it. “just kill him. do it.”
seungmin’s eyes widened. he looked freaked, at hyunjin because dude what the fuck, then back at you, mouth opening but nothing came out. the way you looked right now… turned him on. he felt sick. he felt alive. in danger. he felt like he was watching porn.
you pulled the gun out, clicked something on it, pressed it to the back of the guy’s head, and pulled the trigger.
bang.
the body slumped.
silence.
hyunjin and seungmin stood there with their hands over their mouths, eyes wide. scared, terrified. traumatized, definitely.
you turned to look at them, gun now looser in your hand, face slowly softening back into that familiar shaky expression that you have shown them a hundred times now.
hyunjin stepped to you, always going to you. his knees felt weak but he caught you when your own legs buckled.
the adrenaline, the release, the fact that they saw you, fucked you up. your hands started trembling. you had the audacity to act like this. you sick fuck.
“fuck… y/n.” he whispered.
he was scared, he was horrified, but mostly he was so in love it hurt. you trusted them enough to show this. you killed for them without blinking. he felt ashamed. thrilled.
seungmin stood a few steps away, still covering his mouth. he was scared to death, really was, this wasn’t a game anymore. but the idea that you were this dangerous, that you were an actual threat, this loyal, this okay with it, it made him want to worship you.
hyunjin cupped your face with both hands, thumbs brushing your cheeks. “it’s okay. we got you. we fucking saw.”
then he kissed you.
it was messy, not how good he usually kisses, he felt too much then to. he’d been dying to do it for weeks. his tongue pushed into your mouth almost at the very start of it, needy, he needed to consume the violence you just showed him.
you whimpered into the kiss, knees completely giving out. he had to hold you up with one arm around your waist, the other still cradling your face, your hands fisted in his shirt.
seungmin watched for a bit, shocked, terrified, traumatized. answer to that? grabbed your waist, spun you so hyunjin would have to get off you, and seungmin also kissed you. teeth, tongue, a little biting on your bottom lip because oh his fucking god. he loves his crazy bitch. but there was desperation. his hands were shaking as they gripped your hips, holding onto you. breathing, muttering “shit… shit…” between kisses.
hyunjin leaned in again, kissing the corner of your mouth while seungmin was still kissing you. then their lips met too.
a nasty, sloppy three way kiss. tongue. so much spit. heavy breathing. moaning into it.
hyunjin was whimpering softly into it, one hand still holding you upright, the other gripping the back of seungmin’s neck. he felt overwhelmed. protective for you, with pure lust. he couldn’t tell which was which.
he was terrified of what you were capable of. he was so in love he wanted to cry. he wanted to fuck you right next to the fresh body.
seungmin was obviously overwhelmed, kissing with his mouth always open and panting into it, one hand sliding down to grip your ass. or at least he hoped it was yours. okay, didn’t care. it was yours, though.
he felt disgusting for how turned on he was, he knew this was wrong, so wrong, but that only made it hotter. you killed a man in front of them.
for them.
tears were running down your cheeks from how much you felt, the love, the relief that they didn’t leave you, the genuinely fucking sick and disgusting thrill that they told you to do it.
it was too much, too new for you. everytime their tongues touched yours or each other you made a little sound, you had to, you were basically sobbing into the kiss. oh how that affected them.
hyunjin pulled back, panting on your lips, lost in this feeling. “fuck, y/n, what are you?”
seungmin didn’t pull back at all. he licked into your mouth again. “doesn’t matter. just… don’t stop.”
you didn’t.
this was it. they knew. they saw. and they kissed you anyway.
the news spread fast. the second they got the group together (after helping you hide the body and washing the blood off your hands, normal couple shit), they told the others everything.
told them you did it, that they told you to, that you no hesitation did it, that you’ve actually done this before(a lot, probably), that they couldn’t fucking help making out with you after.
they knew what you were.
they wanted you more.
so… your relationship with each of them developed, of course.
jeongin was just sooooo impatient!! couldn’t wait, couldn’t let the relationship develop, immediately poured all his emotions into being physical. which means, two nights after he heard the news he dragged you into his bathroom during a party at his place, locked the door, and pushed you against the sink. pretty little mouth open, panting. kissed you then. it was sloppy from the start, really was. tongue, teeth, him grinding on you, hands all over you, he smiled into the kiss. you make him unable to think straight.
two weeks later in chan’s kitchen with chan, you were walking with one of his hoodies from the laundry(to put it into your bag) when he walked in. he, wordless, backed you against the counter, urgent, big hands on your waist, and kissed you. quiet little groans and all, really human, really a desperate man. you couldn’t speak, that’s how much you were shaking, how new the emotions were. he kind of got that, had the suspicion that you had a problem with emotions. liked you the same. made him kiss you harder.
then. few days later hyunjin took you to a walk in the woods(why? felt romantic. trusted you not to kill him), held your hand the whole way, then pushed you gently to a tree and kissed you so softly at first it made you smile and your face crumble. you were fragile emotionally, collapses like these happened easily. it turned hungry fast, him whimpering into your mouth, hands sliding under your shirt, groping, loving, desperate. you two could barely part.
changbin took you on a drive in his nice car, omfg that car, parked somewhere, and just talked for hours to you. you kissed him there in the passenger seat, sweet, slow, lots of little pecks that turned into him licking into your mouth with a shaky moan. that was hot.
you almost fucked him right there, you weren’t far from it, but he was clearly nervous(though he felt the energy too) so you gave him more time.
felix was next. just fucking happy to be a mess. he invited you over, the usual, you sat on his bed, watched him play.
but the little dumb fuck just couuuuuldn’t behave. “i know what you did. hyune told us everything. and i… i… it’s, uh. not… bad.”
unsure fuck. it was obviously hard for him to get those words out. wanted to confess his love first place, this came out.
you ended up kissing him on his bed. he was shy at first, soft little pecks, then got into it better, sliding his tongue in even though he barely ever did that and wasn’t good at it. he whimpered the whole time. especially when you two laid back on the bed.
han was nervous. he invited you over when minho was gone and spent twenty minutes being a shy little fuck. obviously had a plan but missed the balls to act on it.
so you took it into your own hands, held his pretty face and kissed him. he wasn’t good at it, clumsy, inexperienced, giggling nervously into your mouth at first, but then melted into it.
you’re so scary. he likes you so much.
minho visibly started touching you more. wanted you even more then. you were at their place watching a movie, he waited until han fell asleep on the couch, then pulled you into his room, closed the door, and kissed you to half death.
his heart was hammering.
he really, really liked you. the exact way you were.
seungmin was… conflicted. if that’s the right word. after that night in the woods he got weird and distant for a few days, then showed up at your door.
you kissed him in your doorway, just missed him too much not to. he grabbed your face almost roughly while kissing you, obviously not about the kissing technique but about being close close close to you. he pushed you inside, kicked the door shut, kissed you against the wall. desperate.
group hangouts turned romantic. brutally intimate. kisses stopped being private, you’d make out with one of them in the kitchen while another watched. they started touching you more openly, and if the other saw that, he also had to touch.
jeongin hit first.
you were barely through his door when he dropped to his knees right there in the hallway. yanked your jeans down with shaky hands, acting like a fucking animal, fighting your panties off.
lil bitch hooked one of your legs over his shoulder while you were still standing and buried his face in your pussy. (bush or no bush, reader’s choice jeongin’s fine w anything, though it’s a bit more realistic for reader’s character to be shaven just for expecting something like this)
he loves pussy. genuinely loves it.
you got eaten the fuck out. like hello he sucked clit. moaned into you. where did he learn this from? (dumb question, you can trace his whole life back anytime)
you had to grip his hair to stay upright. he slipped two fingers inside you too, curling them, searching around, tongue flicking. you came standing.
only then did he stand, wiped his shiny chin with the back of his hand, and dragged you to his messy bed. (never makes it.)
little asshole was really in the mood but still nervous. he fumbled the condom twice before rolling it on. the sound he made then was adorable. after he finally pushed inside you he slipped out on the first thrust because he was shaking so bad.
“shit— sorry, fuck, you feel too good.” he hissed.
second try was better. he fucked you sooo good, deep, wanting you so bad, both hands on your thighs. came with the sweetest moans ever.
he felt blessed. laid with you, tangled in each other as aftercare, patted your hair and was all in his head about the fact that you kill people and let him bury his face in your cunt. boy be in loooove. like so in love that he allowed big amounts of physical touch, he never did that with any of his hoes before.
hyunjin was next, a few nights later. of course, he was the “first”, after all. deserved it. would have been the first to dick you down too if jeongin wasn’t this fucking impatient.
you were at your place. he found your vibrator by accident while reaching for something in your nightstand, and his eyes lit up. tongue poked out from between his plush lips, the way you love it so much.
then he smiled, beautiful, ear to ear. “well well, baby.” oh he’s experienced. and made for you. “can i?” he asked.
of course, hyunjin.
and laid back on the bed you were.
“let me see.” he whispered.
he took his time. stripped you, kissed down your body, pouring all the love he had for you since you made him fall in love in that forest, then clicked the vibrator on and pressed it to your nipples first.
had fun. had lots of fun with it, with you.
kept on teasing your nipples with his mouth, moved the vibrator down to your clit. lowest setting. when you started squirming around he turned it up, watching your face. unbelievably in love with you.
he kissed down your stomach, made you cum while laying his face on your thigh. he looked like an angel.
he is an angel. questionable morals, maybe, not a good guy at heart, but where does that matter to you.
when he finally fucked you, he kept telling you how perfect you felt. really meant it, even through the condom. your personality got him so unbelievably worked up. his hair fell into his face. it was beautiful. fucked you missionary while holding eye contact. sweet. attached, since the woods.
he held you for hours after, stroking your hair. felt lucky. so lucky it’s unable to be expressed by human words. another one not big on physical touch, great first twos, but it was so emotionally significant to him, you were, that he simply didn’t feel any discomfort.
oh chan waited until you were staying the night at his place. fingered you on the couch first while he kissed your neck. he was nervous too, his hands trembled when he laid you on his bed, when he took your shirt off.
when he finally fucked you in his bed it was manly. can’t stress this enough, this is a man. held your hands above your head, eyes locked on yours or where he was disappearing into you. truly a tummy flipping experience. he slipped out once, cursed under his breath, then slid back in with a low “there we go, sweetheart.” that alone barely made you cum.
afterward he held you so tight you almost couldn’t breathe.
this man gets hard thinking about how crazy you are. it makes protecting you and being protected by you feel like the hottest power exchange. he’s sick, pathetic.
minho was next. and loud. it was so wet, so wild, so physical. fucked you against the wall in his room while han was out. like it was that wild, typa wild where you two had to do it on the wall. like one hand around your throat. hello??? when he came he buried his face in your neck and let out this long, shaky groan in that baby little voice. yes sir.
he’s crazy for his genuinely fucked up girlfriend.
changbin was nervous. baby boy took you on another drive, parked somewhere dark, and before he even touched you he went “i’ve never… with someone like you… i don’t wanna fuck this up.”
you ended up in the backseat. he ate you out for so long you lost count of time, and he was moaning and whimpering the whole time, sounds nonstop.
“fuck you taste so good… can’t stop, baby, please let me keep going.” okay no complaint here.
he couldn’t stop making sounds. fucked you good, kept making little “ah fuck” and “you feel so good” sounds. he came so loud you had to cover his mouth. what if bigfoot hears and he’ll hurt hyunjin while fucking him??
changbin can barely bear with his big boy feelings for you. it feels so grown up and such a real life situation that he ends up being crazy in love, not a little crush anymore, this man can see his kids with you.
han… fucking hell, han. first you barely had his tip in your mouth for thirty seconds before he was whining “wait wait i’m gonna—” and shooting down your throat with the most pathetic, beautiful moan.
he was so embarrassed he hid his face in a pillow for five minutes.
when he finally fucked you he lasted maybe three minutes(came with a horrified “shit—oh, oh, sorry—“), trembling around, but he ate you out after.
he’s gotten better since that… kinda.
he’s in awe that someone as scary as you lets him touch you. it makes him grateful, like wdym you kill(so badass)(no han, not badass, a fucking crime) and willing to bounce on his dick. he’s the luckiest alive.
seungmin was soft and sensual and lowkey a bottom. your first time with him was slow and intimate, he let you take control, laid back while you rode him, hands roaming your body. worshipping, really. this man saw you kill.
he moaned so pretty, kept his eyes on you the whole time. couldn’t look away. when you choked him a little he came so hard his eyes rolled back and he cried out.
he’s surprisingly submissive once clothes come off. skinny hips bucking up desperately, letting you use him however you want. he feels safest with you being in control, your violence outside the bedroom makes him want to surrender completely inside it.
felix was such a pillow princess about it. last one to get fucked too.
your first time was on his fancy bed. he was so overwhelmed he kept saying “holy shit” and “you’re so hot” while you sank down on him. he was shaking. you pinned his wrists above his head and rode him until he was whimpering and moaning and crying out and other colleagues, whole body damp, begging you. when he finally came he kinda cried.
felix is lowkey terrified of you and that terror makes him so… submissive. he loves being at the mercy of his murderer girlfriend. he’s genuinely so in love with your personality that he brags about you to everyone and everything, he’s dumb, but not dumb enough to let it slip that his beautiful girlfriend murders people, so it’s safe. kinda.
it’s the fact that you’re this sick in the head. that gets them so crazy. well, it’s not just a kink, it’s psychological, it’s a man thing in their heads. they feel chosen, protected. wanted in a way no normal girl could ever want them.
you could kill anyone else in the world but you choose to be like this with them. you kill for them.
they acknowledge this.
makes them crazy in love. it makes them feel like their pure nature, which, all eight’s, is just pathetic little boys, after all. it makes the sex better, it makes everything more intense.
minho is the one you enjoy sex with the most. lowkey the autistic bad bitches of the group. so perfect match.
when you fuck it’s intense, animalistic, and both of you get so loud it’s embarrassing. you’re always moaning and screaming, nails digging into his back, telling him to fuck you harder while your eyes roll back. what that does to that man? gets him two times louder.
the first time you two really let go, han knocked on the wall with a “you guys okay in there???”
two weird intense people at each other. he matches that unsettling energy you have(except you’re true evil and he’s just a little weird but whatever). best dick. best connection. no contest.
but of course you still love the others just the same!!
sex or no sex, you would truly die for them.
okay, but sex. like jeongin is unreal with his fingers. one night he had you bent over the couch, two fingers in your pussy and one slowly working into your ass while he ate you out from behind. he was weeeeirdly good at it. patient, lots of lube, murmuring “relax baby, i got you.” it felt good but strange. you’d already came three times before so your body just tapped out after half an hour. you whined “innie… can’t… too much” and he immediately stopped, kissed your back, you told him another time when you’re not spent. instant agree from him. he’s such a eager pussy lover it’s ridiculous.
chan has brutal kinks. even the lightest one is how he likes fucking you from behind with a hand fisted in your hair, spanking you, hard, leaving marks. genuinely railing you.
one time he edged you for almost an hour until you were sobbing and threatening to stab him. he laughed at you.
careful with aftercare though, truly all about you.
they’re truly addictive, that’s exactly why you’re always just needy as fuck.
they’re helpless.
one afternoon chan’s on a serious work call on his couch. who cares, you drop to your knees between his legs and start mouthing at his dick through his pants.
he glares down at you, mutters “give me one second” into the phone, then mutes it.
“y/n i’m in the middle of a fucking meeting—” he growls, hand in your hair.
you look up at him, battling your eyelashes.
he folds.
chan always folds, this is very important.
he ends up fucking your throat while still half paying attention to the call. slaps you when you gag so you’ll stay quiet.
or like poor felix is studying for a big test, books everywhere, stressed as fuck. you crawl onto his lap, grinding on him, tugging at his shirt.
“lixie, please, need you.”
he’s sweating. “baby i have this test in two days— fuck— okay just… just real quick.” he ends up bending you over his desk, fucking you fast while trying to read his notes over your shoulder. it’s fucking hilarious. this guy’s whole existence is hilarious.
or hyunjin is painting in his room, focused, music, whatnot. you come in, tugging at his sleeve, whining.
“baby i’m in the zone right now—” is what he goes on about until you shove your hand down his pants and he drops the brush.
ends up fucking you against the wall, moaning into your neck. you and your loud men against the world.
han is the easiest. you don’t even have to ask. you walk into his room while he’s gaming, tug his hair(no like that’s really all it takes), and he immediately drops the controller. “okay okay— fuck— hi baby.” he whines out, already pushing your panties aside.
jeongin is usually down but sometimes he’s also on the game. you sit on his lap facing him, grinding, holding his face and trying to turn it towards you, and he has the audacity to keep playing?? yeah lasts about four minutes before he throws the controller. “you need it right now? yeah? c’mere.”
changbin will literally pause whatever he’s doing. “you need me baby? okay, come here, i got you.” he’s the most… pathetic is not even the right word, most down for you.
seungmin’s nonchalant ass is the same mentally, but not on the outside. you tug at his shirt while he’s on his laptop, whining. he grumbles “i’m busy, y/n” but two minutes later he’s got you bent over the couch anyway. can’t say no to you.
none of them can. especially minho. he’s another who never even denies you first place, he’s the luckiest man alive for having you, after all. (you’re having him)
they love that their girlfriend is this sick. they really don’t feel bad about it, they’re dumb boys, they have zero ethics for this.
even if you… you come back bloody sometimes.
not every kill, but it does happen. they freak out. like their beautiful girlfriend has blood on her, lots.
chan usually recoils, eyes huge. “jesus fucking christ y/n—” he presses the back of his hand to his mouth because he might throw up.
he’s a normal guy at heart. blood belongs on scraped knees and paper cuts, the shit this sweetie grew up with with his perfect little life, not covering his beautiful girlfriend.
hyunjin gags, turning his head away for a second. “baby… there’s so much, fuck, it’s in your hair.”
felix looks genuinely green. “i can smell it. oh my god i can smell it.” he has to sit down on the couch and put his head between his knees for a minute.
jeongin’s face twists in pure disgust. “you look like you took a bath in the dude. that’s… that’s a lot of blood, babe. holy fuck.”
changbin actually looks like he’s fighting tears from how grossed out he is. “we need to get you cleaned up right now. like right now. i can’t— i can’t look at it too long.”
seungmin runs his hands down his face(imagine the oh my fucking god bro picture), turning away.
han makes a high nervous sound and hides behind minho, peeking out. and minho, looks nauseous. actually turning his face away.
they’re all disgusted by the blood, deeply. it makes their stomachs turn and their skin crawl, blood outside the body is supposed to be something wrong, well this is wrong.
none of that disgust ever touches their love for you.
not even a little.
they’re disgusted by the blood, genuinely grossed out, they’re normal ass boys who grew up with moms who made them wash their hands before dinner. blood is supposed to stay inside bodies. but never once are they disgusted by you. not even a little.
you earned this devotion.
…you, also, kinda soft launched that you liked them since the woods. well, soft launched it by not telling the whole story, just that oh you did almost end up taking up on their offer and did see them and they were cute then then ooooh sometimes you saw them around but were too much of a pussy to walk up to them… sure. they told you they don’t care. that they’re not mad. anyways, you also told hyunjin that you didn’t actually bury an ex. that they were your first boyfriends. he took it so good.
they love your ass too much to get creeped out by this.
and now that we’re at the ass topic, hyunjin literally loves your ass.
he’s always groping you. not even sexually always, you’ll be standing in the kitchen taking to one of the others and he squeezes a greedy handful while walking past, on his phone, combined with a little kiss on the side of your head. or while you’re watching something. while you’re brushing your teeth. both hands full of your ass. happy boy. content boy.
he eats it serious asf too. loves having you face down, ass up, tongue buried deep in your asshole while he moans like he’s the one getting eaten out(oh, that’s… a nice thought. you two will explore that later too). he once ate your ass for almost forty minutes straight until you were shaking and crying into the pillow.
jeongin is a close second place there. he’ll smack it everytime you walk past.
“can’t help it baby, it’s right there looking at me.”
chan loves gripping it hard when he fucks you from behind, big hands holding you, sometimes spreading you open while he rails you, his eyes rolling back at the combined feeling of you around him and in his hands.
the others ranked would be changbin then, minho, seungmin, han and then felix but only because he’s such a boob guy that it completely overpowers it.
they’re men.
you’re a predator. like an actual fucking predator, not human in your mental senses. you could kill anyone, you’ve proven it. but you chose them. in their boy brains that’s the ultimate compliment, it gets them so going, so attached to you.
nothing could ever turn them off when it comes to you. not the fact that you confess that you killed for them before, not the way you steal their things, not when you get overwhelmed.
last one happens a lot. because just again, you didn’t have real feelings before them. you told them that already.
so your emotional system is fucked up. like barely functional, that fucked up. when too many feelings wake up at once it just crashes you the fuck out and activates a fight or flight in your body. you’re weird then. they still love you.
to demonstrate these lil crash outs, let’s say you’re at felix’s house, sitting on his bed while he’s lying next to you. on his laptop. you’re watching his side profile, the perfect little nose he got so lucky with, that he’s shirtless and this flawless looking(you don’t care that he’s dumb) and then it makes your heart ache. this overwhelming wave of love and obsession and disbelief that this dreamy unreal dickhead is yours. all of them are yours.
and this feeling gets so hard these times that you have to so something about it. in this case, your hand grabs his skinny arm, pure adrenaline and sadness in your inexperienced body.
you squeeze, hard, shaking it a little, tears spilling down your pretty cheeks.
“whoa, whoa, y/n. hey, hey what the fuck—” his deep voice cracks as he turns to you, like imagine the voicecrack, eyes wide. he looks so panicked, one hand hovering. he doesn’t know whether to hug you or call an ambulance. “baby what’s wrong? did i do something? are you hurt? talk to me.”
“eeeeeeeeeeee—”
“eee what??”
dipshit.
you keep squeezing his arm and vibrating.
he eventually just pulls you on top of him, arms wrapping around you. “okay. okay. you’re okay. i’m here. breathe or… keep doing this. that’s fine too.”
he almost shit himself from fear. this boy was genuinely made for you.
all of them were.
or like with hyunjin you’ll be cuddling and suddenly the love hits so hard you bury your face in his neck and squeeze him as tight as you can, squealing around.
hyunjin usually rubs your back. he loves when you do this on him, makes him feel needed.
chan lets you hit him those times, maybe it’ll help. never does. settles with caressing your back and arms until you calm down. dada knows how to handle you. his psycho gf.
minho is the best at it, absolutely. he hums to you, or when in bed, wraps his arms and legs around you. lets you shake and cry and make whatever noises you need to. it’s an amazing solution.
changbin just wants to provide for you then. gets worried every single time but calms down real soon because he knows you’ll calm down too, that you’re fine, that you’re just a little… new to this. he can offer you ice cream he bought only for you(saw it in movies, that’s why it’s so simple) and getting all eight of them in one bed. he’ll list shit he could do for you, not shutting the fuck up while you’re having a meltdown on his chest.
oh seungmin is just a softie for his sick little gf. you grabbed his shirt once and started shaking while he was trying to cook. he sighed, turned the stove off, and just pulled you to him. “you’re so fucking weird… c’mere.” he lets you cling to him until it passes.
han panics. han’s dumb. han tries his best tho. ends up just hugging you so tight you can barely breathe while making nervous little noises with you, rocking, bouncing you a little. the little bug he is.
jeongin finds it hilarious. even more adorable. you once climbed on top of him while he was playing something, grabbed his face with both hands and just stared at him intensely while tears ran down your cheeks. he paused the game immediately.
“well hello. you good or are we having another crash?”
you just nodded and kissed him stupid. he smiled into your mouth. you love the smell of his skin.
they know now that your brain literally didn’t have this much feeling before them. sometimes it’s love so strong it feels like pain. sometimes it’s fear that something will happen. sometimes it’s just pure overwhelming joy. sometimes it’s having to slap on hyunjin’s chest(he always takes it) and telling him to not go into the woods because bigfoot will fuck him(he never understands what you’re on about). sometimes it’s sadness and going crazy and having to rip your two arms off yourself then stumble into their chests.
and they deal with it so well. surprisingly well. that’s because they’re truly wired with you. crazy little connection y’all got there.
they never get tired of it either, if anything they seem proud bc c’mon they’re the ones who finally made the emotionless girl feel something. it feeds their egos. they did that. they cracked your heart open and… cracked you in general. lmfao.
they could never love you less.
never. ever.
you earned this for yourself. you made this. you got yourself this little harem.
and there is no other women for them now.
only y/n.
author’s note: me di un beso de tres tiktok trend on y/n hyunjin and seungmin NOW. also reader is a horrible person, never do this guys ever ever, i’m so serious. if you do shit like this you’re a creep. this is a story made for appeal and entertainment and was requested but doing it irl is seriously too much. anyways han part two is coming i’m sorry for the long wait for that :(
hi guns! just wondering what you’re thinking of posting next…is it a dear y/n chapter or all done chapter or are we going to get a solo chapter? I seriously love your work and come back to re-read your work constantly so just curious hehe! 🙈
current lineup is some ot8 x reader that y’all have been really asking me to do for a while, then han’s part two because i’ve been dragging that out for a while now, and then i’ll decide between all done’s and dear y/n’s next parts. i obvi don’t want to make the ppl that only follow me for all done wait lots, but also don’t want to disappoint my dear y/n babes who have been with me since the very start. but even if one of them comes before the other, the other one will come after that. shortly, all done then dear y/n OR dear y/n then all done.
how do you bypass the 1000 block for paragraphs in each post. i only have 18k amount of words and it said that the post cannot be saved...
i don’t!!💔 believe it or not ALL my works are in the 1000 block limit, that’s why i have to squish some things together, why i have to sum up some scenes and not completely write them out(there will be looots of examples for this in my next fic) dunno about the can’t be saved part tho, it usually just doesn’t let me put more paragraphs, but saving works fine for me :p IF that’s what you meant. shi i hope that’s what u meant, anyways, try squeezing sentences together or removing unnecessary things, so hard, i know, it’s always heartbreaking for me too, but this is what i can give u hope i helped at least a tiny bit<3
guns, nobody on this app writes like you 😭 do you have any blog recs? i wanna know what THE guns is reading on here because i know it’s gotta be good. (also, i love your ferret hyunjin piece omg. i would eat up a part 2. maybe hyunjin becomes human again and just… doesn’t want to leave…)
HI. omg tysm this compliment is like… bru i don’t even have words, thank you. well i don’t read longer fics anymore, i barely read now, maybe just little little drabbles when i come across them so think with those but i enjoy @lovecase’s work, sum of @hnsbxby when her works came in front of me and @makeitworse(’s wolfgang series specifically)!! that’s about what i can think about now :p
and about the ferret fic IF you’re getting a part two then you’ll have to wait like a year for it😭😭 like believe me i’d do anything for y’all but i have so many shit that i need to/want to write and obviously the more important things are on the top of the list. but i wrote the idea down<3
summary: part two of all done: boss. jeongin is a total dipshit. but you like him, like the others too, after all. and if you like them, shouldn’t you have sex with them? (jeongin, changbin, hyunjin getting sum in this part)
warnings: creepy and asshole skz, absolutely unrealistic, cursing, power imbalance, objectification of reader, sexism, little talks of religion and porn addiction, sexual content(oral(f and m receiving), little anal play(f receiving), handjob(m receiving), deepthroating, gagging, cum eating, edging(m receiving), protected p in v, making out, heavy sexual tension), multiple sex scenes
word count: 26k
you know what you are at this point.
a slut.
okay, wow, chill. you’re not a bad slut. you’re doing it for a good cause. these eight overworked men need an outlet, and you’re the only one they trust enough to give it to them without turning it into the end of their careers. soooo slut in the good way. caretaker with benefits. professional throat goat. whatever.
so, rightfully, the eight boys started to develop some serious kind of… fixation on you.
channie and hyunjin are first place here, obviously. chan more, so hyunjin is a second place, maybe. but both of them because they got you taken away from them when they needed more, you took yourself away from them.
but chan remembers how you cried out when he pulled your ass open. and hyunjin… has just been extra pissy. little immature brat, that’s what he is.
third is felix. you see, felix has been into porn for years. like we can even say a light addiction. he’s also chronically online as fuck. he’s seen everything, a good example is the ankha zone video back in the day(jerked off to it more than once), hardcore stuff, soft stuff, he’s been exposed to most of it, has seen every category, every fetish, every little scenario you can imagine. his brain is working dumb from years of dopamine highs.
and now, now he has a real, living, breathing, pretty workplace crush who apparently sucks dick great.
not a good combination.
psychologically, especially. porn addiction already desensitizes the reward system, normal sex doesn’t hit the same anymore. but then you show up, sweet, helpful, competent, and suddenly the fantasy comes into reality. his brain starts mashing the two together. you handing him water becomes “what if she dropped to her knees right here?” you bending over to pick something up becomes “what if i grabbed her hips and…” he’s stuck in this loop where every innocent interaction gets filtered through thousands of hours of porn. it’s making him stupid. making him horny. dumb. a boy.
he’s got a weird fixation on staff hoodies now because of you. keeps imagining you on your knees in the hoodie you own, you riding him while still wearing it, you letting him cum on your face after a long day and some getting on the hoodie.
you do catch the fact that he’s kind of different because of this, different around and about human bodies, when someone mentions his religion, but you just got to the conclusion of him being a little on the spectrum about interaction maybe or he got bad influence from somewhere. no idea that it’s about addiction, that it’s about porn.
during one long break he’s sitting in the corner scrolling on his phone, his headphone on pretty head, but when you walk past he looks up. his eyes go over your body, undressing you with them. there’s this not quite here look in his eyes for a tiny bit before he blinks it away and gives you that usual beautiful smile that just charms everyone when he sees that you came to interact with him.
you hand him something he asked for earlier. you get a “thanks, y/n.” you notice the way his hand tightens on his phone. don’t know though that it’s because he’s fighting the urge to palm himself right there.
porn brain + real girl he wants = a fucking mindfuck for such a guy like him. his brain does not rest on the topic, it’s all you on your knees, you bent over, you taking multiple of them(such a favorite of his), all these he’s conditioned himself to crave. but now with you. all of these next to the brutal stress, of course.
the rest of them aren’t much better, they’re just less online about it. they’re all just boys.
fourth would be jeongin. he heard you and chan that night, after all. he looks up at chan too, at hyunjin. plus you’re hot. mix this together and you get jeongin wanting some of you like now. his dumb little brain needs it, and that dumb little brain controls the body, which just feels, works crazy because of you now.
then changbin, maybe. first he thought about himself as not brave enough for this whole thing, but then… but then fuck’s sake, he’s a grown ass man. a grown ass man with money, talent, a career, brutal sized arms, and what genuinely gets every woman off their feet, a fucking nice car. so now with that confidence he sometimes gains, his mind is easier to set on the thought of you. now he’s thinking about you aaaaaall day, such a babe, like has his elbow on the table and his pretty chin in his hand zoning out typa thinking about you all day.(chan is shouting at him to pay attention)
han can try and maybe relieve that tension in himself with being physical. that’s his best solution for this. keeps hugging you longer, gives you goodmorning and bye y/n hugs, pressing his body on yours, smelling your hair. like specifically smelling your hair, the creep. he feels like you’re the cure to his stress(since you helped the others) and now he wants to actually get to it. if you made it better for chan(chan did tell the boys lots about it, they’re really honest with each other) and hyunjin(same here, these boys overshare when not waiting until their roommate is away to get his dick sucked by the girl that said roommate also wants, khm hyunjin khm). he especially really needs the release you can give them, he’s not feeling particularly well these days, that only you can give them.
seungmin has jacked it to you double digits times now, acts like nothing’s up the next day. he’s actually good at it. well, all of them are, they were trained to hide themselves, to hide the realness. so he hides his aching, obsessive sexual want towards you, like nothing is up with him, like him and felix are not talking basically only about you when they’re home. like yeah everything’s fine he’s not obsessed with the idea of you getting him off, nooo, pfft.
minho’s the last on this list but only because he’s the most intelligent of them. so, like, he still needs you, bad, but he’s more of a man, doesn’t roll around in his bed and giggle at home like some(han, felix, changbin) do about you, his little fixation is actually the most active, most torturing when you’re actually in front of him. but then, it’s bad.
they’re all just boys at the end of the day. we already talked about this in the first part, biology. testosterone. dopamine. vasopressin. evolution. what you have signals good mate material. same drill we’re already over, great ass good for birthing, soft tits good for feeding, warm mouth that doesn’t complain(any man’s dream), bla bla bla. add the insane pressure they live under, no privacy, constant performance, zero release, it’s only natural, normal, that one(1) good blowjob turns into this whole blow up in their little circle.
and you have the knowledge of exactly how chan felt grinding against your soaked pussy and how hyunjin moaned when he came down your throat. it’s almost an equal power situation, they have power over you, and you also have power over them, both in different ways. they’re technically more powerful than you, but if you wanted to seduce(which you never intended, they became attracted on their own), you’d have them wrapped around your pinky in a move. well, you already kinda have them like that, but there’s a significant difference between you having intention to do this and not.
they can act mature and calm all day, they can be flawless for the cameras, but the second their brains register this girl lets us cum, they’re just losers, it’s years of suppressed sexual frustration and sudden access to a willing mouth. like sudden access. if this happened a little slower, maybe they would have themselves together a little better, maybe they would be more cool headed. but they’re not, because this happened fast, and that also turns them so on.
you’re in the middle of eating in your bed at 10:47pm when your phone buzzes. it’s jeongin. you just have him saved as in. almost was boss in, but you didn’t feel that funny that day.
in: hey y/n
in: sorry for texting so late
in: can u help me with something? it’s about banking stuff and transferring money. u always handle everything so well so i thought maybe u could explain it to me? i’m kinda lost lol
you stare at the message, food pouring out of your mouth, basically. it’s a lame excuse and you both know it.
you: sure i’ll come over quick.
same night, later now, you’re standing outside jeongin and chan’s dorm again. hm, the great memories here.
it’ll be quick. professional. just like the other times. help the boy with his “banking stuff” and go home.
jeongin opens the door looking nervous as fuck. he’s in a black hoodie and gray sweatpants, not because he’s calm like that, it’s because he knows that women find it hot, he wants to look good, he’s this simple with technique, hair messy. he’d been running his hands through it.
“thanks for coming.” he mumbles, not meeting your eyes at first, stepping aside quickly, eyes more on your body now that you’re dressed more casually. looks good on you. “sorry it’s so late.”
“hm, it’s fine.”
“uh, chan’s not home. yet. he’s working late.”
you know. he sent you home himself.
it’s tidier now than last time. you don’t know which of them’s hand was in it but whatever, you kind of know it’s because of you. so the place will look good in your eyes.
you walk in, he closes the door behind you. it’s new, that it’s just you and jeongin. you never had this place like that yet.
he gives an awkward little “uh” sound, gestures with one hand with the other pin straight next to him, then walks towards his room so you’ll follow him. you do.
in there he tells you to “uh, sit down.” waving towards his bed. okay.
you sit on the edge of it, looking up at him. he stays standing for a second, shifting on his feet, then he sits down next to you, hands clasped in his lap.
“so… about the banking thing.” you start gently.
“i lied.”
“hm?”
he rubs the back of his neck, typical boy thing to do. “i… i heard you. with chan.”
oh.
that’s immediately different.
your stomach does a little flip. this is just an apartment, not a castle. of course. you’d completely forgotten how easily sound travels in these places.
“i woke up to get water and… i heard you. both of you.” he needs to get it out before he dies of shame. “i’m sorry. i didn’t mean to listen. the walls are so thin and i… i couldn’t stop listening. i don’t know. yeah. sorry. i don’t know.”
you sit there for a second, processing. then you do what you do best, you turn into the nice one. the caretaker. reach over and gently put your hand on his knee. “hey… it’s okay. really. did it upset you? be honest.”
he shakes his head. “no. not upset. just… surprised. fuck, i’m sorry. this is so weird. you probably think i’m a creep. i’m sorry.”
you squeeze his knee gently, smiling a little. “i don’t think you’re a creep. it’s normal to feel a lot of things about that. are you mad at chan? or at me?”
“not mad at all.” he says quickly, looking at you, eyes wide. well, wide compared to how his eyes usually are. “i just… i don’t know. he didn’t tell us about that. he told us about when you… first… did it for him, but not about this.” he moans, covers his face with both hands. “god i sound so stupid right now.”
he’s so fucking hot. you remember how good he looked that one night in just boxers, little sleepy, way more casual than how he is now.
you rub his knee soothingly. “you don’t sound stupid. it’s okay. really. if you’re curious about what happened, then almost nothing more than the… ‘first’ time he told you guys about.” you still didn’t simply forget that he told them. fucker. “there was… shit, this is weird to say, little more physicality, but no… actual sex if you’re thinking that. calm down.”
he peeks at you through his fingers, so red. “you’re so nice. you always are. that’s part of the… problem.” talking bout some problem, he really just can’t get it out what he wants to say, that’s why he talks so… cringe would be the right word? no, well it doesn’t feel like that at the moment, but he’s gonna be wanting to sink into the ground from embarrassment the next day though.
“what’s the other part?” but you’re good at playing along, at moving at the same level they are when it’s needed. like you get second hand embarrassment from felix so many times but still have the chemistry with him.
he lowers his hands slowly, biting his bottom lip, muttering “that i really want what chan got. sorry.”
now he looks embarrassed and relieved to have said it out loud. his eyes keep going to your mouth, then away, he can’t help it.
good fucking thing you shaved this morning. you’d done it in the shower with this exact possibility in the back of your mind. so, not because you’re a hopeless slut, but because you’re selfaware enough to know that with this situation going on between the nine of you, at least one more was probably going to try his luck soon. so you were practical. responsible, even.
“if you want, i can help you too. that’s okay.”
“yeah?”
“yeah. and, y’know, this isn’t emotional. none of this is an emotional thing, i’m just… helping. same as with chan. same as with hyunjin. i don’t mind. that’s it.”
he nods quickly, he’s gorgeous. that’s the right word for this man, gorgeous. “yeah. yeah, i get it. just helping. i’m okay with that. really. yeah. yeah. yeah.”
“so like, don’t overthink. this is as casual as me giving you guys water. as casual as a cat on the street. as a shirt, as a recording, as a condom, as a—“
you’re saying more, mature, but he’s not listening anymore. he stopped when you said condom, did he hear that right? condom? thinking she’s already thinking that far?
“o-oh! yeah— condom, right— fuck, okay—” he fumbles across the bed, like a fucking baby deer on ice the fucking loser, nearly falling off as he yanks open his bedside drawer. digs through it fast, loud, and finally yanks out a foil packet. he throws it onto the bed, then practically jumps back into his original spot, chest heaving.
there we go. the condom is out in the open.
“relax, innie.” you chuckle. you’re breathtaking. you’re such a great woman, fuck.
he nods again. then, after a few seconds of nervous silence “um… eh, uh, can i… eat you out first?”
oh?
(of course he wants to. selfish at his core. he doesn’t just want to make you feel good, he wants to bury his face in your pussy, taste it, smell it, lick it. the only way it’s about your pleasure is his ego being built by making a woman feel good.)
“yeah, okay.”
his pretty mouth drops. he closes it. swallows. “uh… can i… move you? is that fine?” he asks. “i promise i’ll be gentle.”
you nod.
he gets up on his knees, hands shaky. he gently takes your waist and helps guide you further onto the bed.
“um… can you get on your knees for me? please?”
you do. you move onto all fours.
he makes a little “nhh” sound behind you. likes this, clearly. then he puts a hand on your upper back and gently pushes your chest down onto the mattress, leaving your ass up in the air. his touch is awkward. you’re his assistant, for fuck’s sake.
“like… like this? is this comfortable?” he asks.
“perfect.”
fuck his fucking life fucking now. fucking hell he’s horny.
his sheets smell like him and boy. you can feel him kneeling behind you, hands still on you.
“you look really pretty like this.” he whispers. “can i…?”
you answer with a “mhm” and by arching your back a little more, pushing your ass toward him.
“okay… okay.” he whispers, mostly to himself.
and then his hands slide up to pull your pants down. his hands are shaking. he pulls your pants down slowly, dragging them over the curve of your ass. what a pretty ass. when he gets them to your thighs he pauses, just staring. your panties look good on you. then he keeps going, tugging them all the way off your legs, reaching back up to get your panties too, now pulling the two down together. he takes both off completely. not for your comfort. definitely not. he wants them gone completely so nothing is in his way, so he can look at all of you without anything blocking his view. he wants full access. it’s for his ego, the satisfaction of having you bare and exposed for him, someone lower than him socially, financially, physically, nothing in the way.
once your lower half is completely naked, he’s just staring directly at your pussy. thinks it’s beautiful. suits you. so pretty, your soft folds, your clit peeking out, your inviting little asshole just above it all, cherry on top really.
“you’re so pretty.” he mumbles. thanks, mr this is all professional, we appreciate your love for women’s bodies here. his hands grab your asscheeks and gently spread you open wider so he can get an even better look.
“hm. thanks.” you whisper.
he’s shaking, really is. both because this is new, this is hot, and also because he’s so turned on. you can feel his breath, hot, uneven because he’s so full of nerves, on your exposed pussy.
he leans in slowly, and presses the softest little kiss on your folds.
then gives you a lick to start off with, flattening that breathtaking tongue, dragging from your clit all the way up, parting your folds.
he moans loudly into you. then he does it again, licks up again. and again. longer, wetter, dragging his tongue through every inch of your pussy. of his little assistant’s pussy.
he pushes his face in deeper, nose pressed into your entrance, shaking his head from side to side so his tongue rubs messily all over your clit and folds. sounds like pure sex, stomach flipping, slurping, moaning, the slick noise of his tongue lapping at you.
you feel good, really good, but you know this isn’t about making you cum. this is all for him. every moan, every lick is him stroking his own ego. he’s eating your pussy because he wants to. because he feels good in the fact that he has the girl who sucked off chan and hyunjin bent over on his bed with her pussy in his face.
he settles on his flawless flat little stomach on the bed. his hands spread your ass wider and he buries his face deeper, smearing your juices all over his mouth, nose, and chin.
he drags his tongue higher, experimentally licking over your asshole. it’s clumsy, curious, a little shy, but he likes it so he does it again, slower, circling the rim with the tip of his tongue while his hands keep your ass spread wide open for him.
but he goes back to your pussy. he’s obsessed with it. it’s pretty, cute, maybe even perfect, in his opinion. he pushes his tongue inside your entrance, fucking it in and out, feeling your walls flutter around him. fuck yes. pornographic. starts licking with licks that cover your entire cunt. long ones from clit to hole, smaller flicks right into your entrance, gentle sucks on your folds, lightly sucking on your asshole when he’s there.
but he’s not there much. he’s aaaall up in your vag, always going back there, now you can feel his nose bumping into your asshole as he buries his face deeper, tongue going back inside you, trying to reach as far as possible.
“mmh— good, good…” he mumbles into your pussy, voice muffled. he starts shaking his face in it again, almost aggressive, tongue all up in you, sucking you in.
he grabs your hips better and pulls you back onto his face, literally sitting you on him while he lies on his stomach a little more, arches his neck back better.
now your pussy is completely smothering his mouth. tongue fucking in and out of it, nose rubbing your little asshole as he makes you ride his face. has jeongin ever been happier?
his eyes actually roll back in pleasure. his chin keeps brushing your clit from below, giving you these random little almost nothing sparks of pleasure while his tongue works inside you. everytime he pushes his flawless tongue as deep as it can go, his nose pokes firmer into your asshole and he lets out these little blissful whimpers, manly moans.
he’s so into it. not focused on your pleasure beyond how it feeds his own ego.
his arms tighten around your thighs, pulling you even harder on his mouth. he’s practically suffocating himself in your pussy and loves it. so wet sounds fill the room as he laps and sucks and tonguefucks you, just… without any real rhythm.
and even though it feels really fucking good, you know that you’re not even close to cumming. because you know the truth too, that this isn’t for you. this is all for him. this is jeongin getting his fix.
he’s getting exactly what he wants. selfish.
he’s in heaven though. you feel him smiling into your cunt as he’s currently trying to probably, what, suck everything out of it?
mr wait until marriage is currently telling you “mmph— fuck— mmh—” as his pretty little mouth goes down to suck on your clit, his nose pressing straight into the source of your wetness now. laps at it, drinks at it, then goes back into your entrance to eat at that too.
he feels so good. never better. really. he’s eating the same pussy chan and hyunjin got. well, not really, innie, they didn’t get any actual pussy, but that’s not what he thinks about now. he thinks he’s as good as his hyungs now.
even though he’s even better, kinda. like, you wouldn’t let hyunjin do this. chan, hm, maybe, but you stopped that even at just grinding. well, that was because feelings and tension were clearly getting involved, but whatever. not the point. maknae gets pussy. others don’t.
maknae fucks that pussy with his tongue, that perfect muscle of his curling up, trying to scoop out everything he can get. then he pulls back, spits on your pussy (messy and loud), and pushes his face back in, sucking on your folds, licking up and over your clit, then moving up again to shove his tongue back into you. his hands spread your ass again, he lost grip. hurts. feels nice too. his nose keeps rubbing on your asshole, he seems to love that too, the way it twitches in his face.
it’s intimate. he doesn’t process it as that. he just processes it as pussy. you process it as something you get paid for. win win.
he pulls his tongue out of your hole and drags it up sensually, circling your asshole again. this time he’s less shy about it. he licks over the tight little muscle slowly, then presses the point of his tongue in it. he sucks gently on it too. that makes your whole body jolt.
makes you moan.
oh?
feels good. he’s doing great.
he almost cums from your moan then goes back to your pussy, he can’t stay away for long anyway. his tongue fucks back into your entrance, exploring that again, your walls, chin on your clit, his nose in your asshole. it’s overwhelming for both sides.
then his fingers join the party. he slides one finger into your pussy, pushing it in deep immediately(so he doesn’t gently work it in or anything, it just slips inside) while he pulls away to watch it. he moans at how warm and wet you are inside, loves it.
he adds a second finger quickly, pumping them in and out. no rhythm. not much pleasure from it, for you. plenty for him, for his little soul. just thrusting them in and out.
he was a horrible student, you can tell. back in sex ed he probably stared at the ceiling the whole time. everything he knows about eating pussy came from other guys bragging in the dorm, from porn.
he remembers the clit thing suddenly, women like that, right?
“oh shit— right.” he mumbles, more to himself than you.
his tongue finally moves down and finds your clit with an actual purpose now(right now he wants to feel like he’s as good as chan and hyunjin. he wants to prove he can make you feel good too, even if it’s mostly for himself). at least he hopes he does, he’s in the right place, right? (he is.) he sucks on it gently at first, then harder, why didn’t he think of this when he was there before, smiles on it when you moan. he likes to hear that. his fingers keep fucking into you during, curling awkwardly, searching for something he’s not even sure how to find.
but god, he really wants this. he wants to devour you. currently humping the bed under himself too.
having you bent over on his bed, face down, ass up, pussy dripping on his tongue while he fingers you, it makes his head spin. makes him crazy. confident. wild. he feels like he finally caught up to his hyungs. like he’s one of the big boys now.
he pulls his fingers out to spread your ass again with both hands, staring at your holes, then spits on your asshole and licks it again, pushes the tip of his tongue inside again, moaning into you. would die for this taste.
then he pulls away with one last little kiss, goes back to your pussy, sucking your clit again, taking his hands off your perfect little ass and pushing three fingers inside your vag this time, giving little “uhhn” sounds to your clit.
he pulls his fingers out just so he can shake his face between your legs again, smearing your wetness all over his mouth, nose, and chin. he’s loud with his breathing, the little noises.
he has a beautiful voice.
his tongue pushes back inside your hole, fucking you. his eyes roll back in pure bliss at the smell of you, your little asshole(made for him, in his humble opinion) right on his nose. this position is making him feel like nothing else.
each sound you make makes him more confident in himself, every gasp, every whimper, every shaky breath. this is good for his mental health, actually. he’s been through a lot, has been extra stressed nowadays too. this is just perfect now.
he pulls back, gasping for air, face shiny and flushed, lips swollen. his eyes are glassy, pupils so big as he stares at your dripping pussy. he’s in a trance. then dives back in. like so deep that you can feel his teeth, the way his jaw works. you can feel his slurping, feel the “mmh— mmh—” noises he gives into you. just takes from you, that’s what he’s doing.
he’s so fucking happy right now. he’s so proud of himself it’s pathetic.
but you’re getting tired of this shit.
it feels good, sure. his tongue is warm and feels funny and he’s hitting some nice spots by pure accident. but you know exactly that jeongin is using your pussy to jerk off his mental health. he’s just living out his fantasy of being “one of the guys.”
so you put on your best performance, which you’re good at, and start gasping loudly, thighs shaking around his head. your hand flies back, into his hair, and you tug gently, pulling his face away from your dripping cunt.
“woah— wait, innie, too much.” you moan breathlessly, making it sound like he just rocked your entire world. “fuck, you’re… you’re really good at that.”
he pulls back, panting hard, face shiny from nose to chin with your juices. his little lips swollen and red and open. he looks dazed. hit.
you sit up a little, turning your head to look back at him. “you’re gonna make me real tired if you keep going like that…” you lie sweetly, a little shaky like you’re overwhelmed. you’re not. “but what about you, hm? don’t you want to feel good too?”
his breath hitches. his eyebrows go up, a little cute, hopeless. a little fucker is what he is, oh you’d just kick him in the head now if it wasn’t about your payment.
“how about you lay on your back properly, and we finally get to that? let me take care of you.”
he’s so easy. he flips onto his back immediately, dear god he’s actually fucking hilarious, almost rolling off the bed in his hurry.
“y-yeah… okay.” he breathes, voice cracking with excitement. you’re seconds away from slapping your tummy laughing. “if… if you want to. you don’t have to—”
you push his head back down onto the pillow. smile charmingly at him. “shh. let me help you, boss.”
oh that name specifically gets him bucking his hips up once into the air.
you’re more than ready to move this along. “sit up for me maybe, that’ll feel better.” you murmur softly.
he whines, the pathetic asshole, scrambling up into a sitting position against the headboard, legs spread. this hoodie looks good on him with the sleeves pushed up. you just noticed.
you reach forward and hook your fingers into the waistband of his pants. the second you start tugging, jeongin lifts his hips, watching it with you how his cock springs free immediately, slapping up on his stomach. oh he’s that hard. basically ready to bust.
fuck, he’s prettily shaven too. just like hyunjin, smooth as a fucking pornstar. not a single hair around the base or on his balls. so he prepared for this too. it was worth it, he has a pretty dick. basically like chan’s just not as long(still more than enough to be impressive, especially on a guy like him, the airhead), beautiful and manly, makes you suddenly care about this whole thing a lot more. his balls are perfect too, like perfect, the little guys especially suit him, two nice, full, separate little balls underneath, which you can clearly see and appreciate individually. lucky boy.
you just can’t help the small huff that escapes you. it’s actually an amused sound, and you’re rarely amused. amused is a big word for you.
of course he’s pretty down here too.
just like hyunjin. pretty face, decent dick, and zero fucking brains between the ears. consistent, it is. the prettier they are, the dumber they get. it’s only natural, the universe giving with both hands is nearly impossible.
except when it comes to you. you’re perfect, of course. insert angel emoji that’s incredibly cringe to write down but fits here perfectly.
so basically him and hyunjin are the same. jeongin’s just the less intense and not that much of a brat version.
his cock twitches under your gaze, rock hard, he’s embarrassed by how obvious it is.
you reach out and wrap your hand around him gently, giving one slow stroke just for now.
he hisses through his teeth, thrusting up into your fist.
“mm, where did the condoms go?” you mumble sweetly, stroking him, looking around. you really mean it just playfully, you don’t actually plan on fucking hi—
the speed at which he moves actually embarasses hyunjin’s dancing skills. like he fucking lunges to the side, cock bouncing as he does, and snatches the condom packet from where he threw it earlier. wow, seems to know it perfectly where it was too. his hands are shaking so badly he almost drops it twice while trying to tear it open. instead rips it open with his teeth like an animal, so unsafe jeongin don’t do that ever again that’s irresponsible and dangerous to both parties, then quickly rolls it down his cock, so unbelievably clumsy.
even that looks hot on him.
when not fucking hilarious. he’s fucking hilarious.
the way his abdomen muscles flex when he sits up a little, the way his lower arm muscles tense as he smooths the condom down his pretty manly shaft, the way his pretty face is concentrated, twisting up as he bites on his lip while looking down, it’s so attractive. dumb boys with pretty bodies are like the top ten inventions on the world.
once the condom’s on, jeongin leans back against the headboard again, so beautiful chest rising and falling fast under that hoodie, the fact how built his chest is, how wide it seems under the clothes, is also attractive because it shows you he worked for that, fucking dumbass doing one smart thing at least, then looks at you with those big, desperate, boyish eyes.
his cock stands hard and wrapped, begging for your attention. soon, mini jeongin, soon. though the pretty balls under it makes you want to hurry up.
same guy you saw once only in his underwear. when you were with his roommate. who you also had some kind of sex with, also had naked like this, also had. but he was barefoot and jeongin still has his fuckass white socks on. whatever.
point is, now you want this too. not as desperately as he does, but sure, you’re down.
he whines softly, so beautiful, an angelic little sound even(hyunjin sounded even better), takes you off your feet almost, and reaches up with shaky fingers to tug gently at the collar of your shirt.
“please…” he whispers, cheeks so red. obviously hurt to say even out loud.
you tilt your head, looking at him. you’re so patient. so hot. “you want my tits?”
he nods. embarrassing and embarrassed.
you sigh softly, fondly, and start unbuttoning the top few buttons of your shirt. but leave it like that, you’re not in the mood to take anything more off. would be too intimate. so you instead reach in, pull the cups of your bra down, let your tits spill out over the top.
“oh… mhm…” he breathes, staring. he’s never seen anything so perfect in his life. (he has, it’s chan’s back, jeongin’s just too horny now)
you lean forward a little and gently caress the side of his neck with one hand, thumb stroking over his racing pulse.
his breathing stops.
“come here.” you whisper, straddling him, knees on either side of his hips. you reach down, wrap your fingers around his condom covered cock, and line him up with yourself.
you start sinking down. inch by inch. so slow. you could go fast but you’re in the mood now too, finally.
(acting like you weren’t also in the mood when you were grinding with chan and when, as painful it is to admit, when you were listening to that otherworldly asshole’s, hwang fucking hyunjin’s little moans while you sucked him off)
he feels good. you’re wet already anyway. condom has lube too, which you’re currently wiping off on his shoulder. jeongin doesn’t care, doesn’t notice, currently his head falls back on the wall, giving a little “aaahh…” to you, mouth open, eyes closing. his hands get on your waist, gripping, holding, wanting.
“fuck, you’re so tight.” he whines up into the air. thanks.
you let his brutally satisfying??? cock fill you up until your ass is on his smooth boy thighs. feels good, that he’s holding you up now, kind of. the knowledge that you’re sitting on him and you’re, kinda, safe. and oh yeah also that he’s buried to the hilt in you, stretching you nicely.
you let out a soft, pleased sigh, adjusting to the feeling of him, rocking a little, your body releasing dopamine now that your little cunt finally has something big in it.
for a bit you just sit there, full of him. jeongin turns his head back down to look at your taken out tits.
you start rocking first. nothing crazy, you’re good at what you do, good at sex anyway. his cock quite literally stirs in you. feels good.
movement makes your tits bounce gently. jeongin’s eyes follow them, he’s hypnotized, lips parted, soft little moans slipping out his pretty mouth.
“mhyeah, yeah, that’s good…” he mumbles.
“hm.” you answer to not leave him on seen irl and keep rocking, nice and slow, letting him get hornier, feel every inch of your warm, wet pussy sliding around his cock.
your hands decide to live on his shoulders, thumbs stroking his neck as you move. you’re sweet. good at this.
you let out these soft, sweet little sounds that make him a thousand times more into this, into the moment, and you start getting into it more. rising up a little higher before sinking back down, really riding him. smooth, sensual.
your tits bounce more noticeably, jiggling everytime you drop down on his cock. jeongin’s hands slide up from your waist/hips to cup your breasts, as much as it’s out at least, holding them, his assistant’s pretty boobs.
“oh my god, fuck, you feel so good.” he whimpers.
“thank you, innie. so do you.”
he moans. loud. his hips start thrusting up to meet yours, trying to fuck up into you. patience, maybe? no? okay.
you lean forward, pressing your tits closer to his face, and he take his chance, latches onto one nipple, sucking on it, moaning around it. it’s the best thing he’s ever tasted. both his hands keep squeezing, kneading, mammal, animal while you ride him a little faster, a little harder. wet sounds of your pussy sliding up and down his cock start to come out. rhythmic. you’re way better at this than he is.
his head keeps falling back, then snapping forward again so he can watch your tits bounce and suck on them again. his teeth hurt on you sometimes, whatever, working is hard, and that’s what you’re doing now. now you just… enjoy it enough to moan too. or maybe it’s also the discomfort that your clit would like some friction too, but him inside is good too. really good.
not as good as for him though.
“ahh, fuck— oh my god.” his voice is high. he can’t control it. you’re too good. you’re perfect.
you grab his pretty face with one hand, the other is still on that flawless shoulder you’d love sitting on, like nothing sexual genuinely just sitting, men with shoulders like these are made to carry girls on them, anyways, and squish his cheeks together.
his lips pucker out like a fish, still swollen, eyes going wide as you ride him slower to focus on your words.
“do you know when chan’s coming home?” you ask calmly, still bouncing on his cock, like it’s nothing, dude.
“dunno, he alweady migh be homemmph.”
“shut the fuck up then.”
jeongin’s eyes roll back and he moans even louder. dipshit. he likes that. the meanness. the way you’re using him and he’s also using you.
but he really can’t stay quiet. he’s getting so close already, pathetic boy. his balls are all up in him already, his abs are clenching, thighs shaking and flexing under you.
and exactly when he starts whimpering “i’m close— i’m so close—” you sit fully on his cock, grinding in slow circles now, and he whines pathetically under your hand still squishing his cheeks.
“n-nooo, please, ah wass so closs.”
you wait until his breathing evens out a little, then start moving slowly again, taking him fully again.
he moans loud and relieved, head falling back. so happy that you’re riding him again, faster this time, tits bouncing over your bra which he’s too close to cum to pay proper attention to. why are they out then?
him not appreciating you enough is your exact reason to edge him again when he looks like he’s close, so you lift yourself up until just the tip is inside you, holding still.
his hips try to chase you. “fuhh—ffuck, no, no no no— i was right there, i was right there.” he tries to thrust up but you squirm away, clicking your tongue. that’s so hot. “pleassah need— ah, need t’cum— so baaad, so fuckin’ badh—”
you look down at him, squishing his cheeks together more once or twice just to watch him look cute, and sink back down slowly.
he cries out, head rolling around as you’re bouncing fast, letting your tits jiggle right in front of his face that he now looks at sometimes. still not good enough.
you let go of his face. need both hands on his perfect shoulders. now you can listen to him tell you “ahhgonna— mmh, fuck, y/n— so good so gooood— please lemmelemme i need, ungh— cum— pleasepleaseplease—”
you stop. you sit still on his cock, clenching around him rhythmically while he thrashes around underneath you.
his eyes are wet, whole face red, beautiful. “mmh, y/n, gonna—gonna, fuck, mommy— nowaitshit— please, ahh, huuh, fuckme, please— unghhh—” he has his teary eyes rolled back, mouth open, drooling a little. he’s so close it hurts, y/n, please.
“shh. be quiet. chan might be home, remember?”
he nods. “mmh, sorry, please, let me— want, pleaseeeee—”
pathetic.
that’s what he gets. that’s what he deserves for being a selfish asshole, and also because he works so hard and so entitled. so he gets this both for the good and bad.
fuck, he heard that edging feels good or whatever but this is his first time experiencing it. it’s brutal. torture. unbearable. he’s so going to thank you later.
“you wanna cum, jeongin?” you ask sweetly.
“yes, yes please iiii wanna cum so bad.”
“you sure?”
“yes, yesyesyes— please let me, i’m so close, so good, i am, please—”
you keep rolling your hips. “you really do?”
“yes, yesh, please i’m so close it hurts please let me cum—”
“you really need to?”
he’s so turned on. “yes yes yes please please please please i’ll do anything—”
“you want to cum?”
“yes—”
“you want to cum?”
“yes please—”
“you want to cum, jeongin?”
“yesfuckyes, ahh— pleasepleaseplease—”
“really?”
“i can’t hold it y/n pleaseeee—”
his whole body is shaking, hips jerking up desperately, trying to fuck you harder but you keep control.
you finally sigh. don’t stop your pace now. “sure, go ahead, whatever.”
jeongin’s eyes roll back, like he loses control of them, and he lets out the loudest orgasm you’ve ever pulled out of a man.
his hips jerk up, uncontrollable, burying himself as deep as he can while he shakes and thrashes and cries out. high, pathetic, beautiful moans, screams, cries. pretty face twisted in pure bliss as he keeps shooting load after load.
his balls pulse under your ass with every shot he delivers into the condom. it’s adorable.
his whole body convulses underneath you, abs clenching, thighs shaking, ass flexing up, fingers digging painfully into your waist as he rides out the longest, hardest orgasm of his life.
you gave that to him. his assistant. helped him out with this too.
you keep riding him through it. his eyes are rolled back, mouth open, drooling, completely fucked stupid. it takes almost thirty seconds before his orgasm finally starts to fade.
you sit down on his cock for a few more seconds, letting him catch his breath, then slowly lift yourself off him. he slips out with a wet sound, condom very full.
you stand up, not even mad that you didn’t cum because you didn’t expect to, whatever you’ll rub one out at home, pull your bra back up, button your shirt, pull your pants and panties back on calmly. fix your clothes.
all while that dumb little babe is lying there completely fucked out. it looks good on him, that hoodie pushed up, pants around his thighs, cock softening in the condom, chest slowly moving now, eyes closed.
you pat his cheek. your first idea was to give him a forehead kiss but that would be unprofessional(that would be?). “you did well. get some rest, okay? drink some water.”
he nods weakly, mumbling something that sounds like “thank you” but slurred.
“and don’t think too hard about it.”
“got it.” he whispers.
you check your reflection real quick in the mirror (you look mostly normal), and leave his room. a boyish room. suits him. kinda messy but not the clothes on the floor way, just lotta clutter. nice, in general.
chan doesn’t seem to be home yet. you pause at the front door, listening, but there’s nothing.
eh. you’re too tired to go back into the studio to check on him now. whatevs.
you close the door softly behind you and head home.
men. always so horny. always so loud. always leaving you walking home at midnight. but hey, at least you’re good at your job.
the next morning, jeongin is sitting at the small kitchen counter at their dorm, staring intensely into his little protein cereal. chan walks into the kitchen, still just waking up, oh how cute boys are just living together, and jeongin looks somewhere else. the ceiling, the floor, his spoon, anywhere but chan’s face. his leg is bouncing.
chan, mostly half asleep and shirtless still, scratches his stomach and opens the fridge. “morning.”
“morning.” jeongin says way too nonchalant, eyes glued to his cereal.
chan grabs his own shit, whatever men like these eat that are either forced on them or they torture themselves with it willingly, and sits down across from jeongin.
jeongin doesn’t look up.
chan raises an eyebrow. chews on his little breakfast. hot. “you good?”
“yeah. super good. everything’s great.” he shovels cereal into his mouth so aggressively he almost chokes on it. oh but didn’t choke on pussy yesterday.
chan chews slowly, watching him. “…did you break something of mine?”
“no.”
“did you mess up something?”
“no.” jeongin stands up, grabs his bowl, basically runs to the sink. “i’m gonna go shower.” he announces to the fucking wall. he can’t look his hyung in the eye. not after he spent half the night with his cock buried inside the same girl chan had on him a few nights ago.
chan sits there, completely lost. “…okay?”
jeongin speedwalks to the bathroom, slamming the door behind him.
channie baby(hopeless man just too tired mentally to be anything and anywhere else) hears the shower turn on. hm. okay. he mutters to himself “what the fuck is wrong with him this morning…” chan is typically the type to mutter to himself out loud. chan is like those dads who swear on their lives they don’t care about the series going on in the tv but still stand with specifically both hands on his hips behind the couch, eyes glued to the screen. he’s also like the dads who are fucking asleep and the milisecond you reach for the remote, he wakes up and tells you he was watching that.
anyways. he has no idea what’s up with jeongin.
yeah no but just again, these men know each other. can read each other like the word apple. it doesn’t even take three hours for them to figure out that jeongin is not his usual self, and they care about each other, so they’ll want to know what’s in his mind.
and about especially the fucking way he’s on you all day. during practice he “accidentally” bumps into you and lets his hand live on your lower back while smiling and apologizing. bitch take it off. during their lunch he sits next to you, eating, talking to you with his mouth full, really on you and really noticing that you’re the same as you were until now, that you don’t act different. he doesn’t know what to think of that. doesn’t like it, there’s this heavy feeling in his stomach. yeah, he doesn’t like it.
so soon the second you’re away filling their water bottles or just getting new plastic ones, they fly on his ass.
so they’re alone. han kicks jeongin’s foot. “yo, what’s wrong with you? you got laid?”
jeongin’s face loses all color.
felix is grinning. “nah, look at him. he’s glowing, bro.” bro. average men conversation, bro.
seungmin watches jeongin, standing next to him. his eyes are that low lidded type, like he has a straight face. “what’s up?”
changbin leans forward. he’s so cute. “what happened?”
“c’mon.” minho tells him.
hyunjin comes into jeongin’s face a little. “y/n?”
silence.
jeongin is fidgeting with his two hands. laughing. then not. trying to play it cool but failing miserably. “…yeah. we had sex.”
silence.
“she went down on you too??”
“oh— no, like, she rode me.”
…
..?
???
han screams “WHAT?! you?!”
felix turns away, throwing his arms up. “this is bullshit.”
hyunjin’s pretty face twists. “what?” now imagine that in the little beautiful voice of his.
changbin is covering his mouth. chan’s heart physically stops beating. minho’s eyes get BIG.
seungmin is impressed. smiling so wide. “how was it?”
oh jeongin gets brutally embarrassed that he has to say it out loud. like, he wants to, it’s just hard. what happened to allat he’s finally as good as his hyungs mindset? “it was… really good. she was really nice. uh… ate her out. uh, dude, i don’t know, it just happened.”
“how’d she taste?” “did you last longer than two minutes?” “did she moan?” “was she tight? tell me she was tight.” “you lucky little shit, i’ve been trying to get her alone for days—”
“i saw her tits and everything. they’re great.”
han actually falls on his knees.
they’re teasing. being boys. getting more information out of him as we’re speaking, he tells them the whole story. but they’re mad. like wdym jeongin got full sex? wdym you told chan no but let the little maknae dick you down? okay dick you down and you riding him until he was screaming are two different things, but he’s honest about what happened and the others fuck with it. anyways, wdym hyunjin got left with blue balls but jeongin had real sex? hyunjin wants real sex too. so mostly him and chan are the ones actually mad. the others are just jealous but whatever they’re friends and they love innie, no hard feelings. none of them.
and back then, some judged you for even just spending the night with chan. now, surprisingly, there’s none of that. a normal person would assume you’re an actual whore, but since they really want your services, they basically see the world though pink tinted glasses.
can’t be mad at you. you’re so sweet, so helpful, so innocent, so hot. y/n always helps them out. that’s just how the world goes, this was supposed to happen with innie. maybe is it supposed to happen with them too? they hope so.
later that afternoon, when everyone else is distracted with fuckwhat, chan pulls you into one of a smaller rooms, closes the door.
he’s trying to be calm, but it’s not working. “you slept with jeongin?”
“yes.”
he exhales through his nose, looking away, such a man, having his hands on his slutty hips. “why?”
you lean against a table. professional. mature. way more put together than he is right now. “because i wanted to, chan. it’s that simple. he asked. i said yes. same as when you asked. same as when hyunjin asked. it’s just helping, you know that. releasing stress. you all carry so much. i don’t mind being the relief when you need it.”
he’s… insecure? “but why him? after you told me no the other night. after you stopped us. you let him fuck you but you wouldn’t let me?”
oh. so that’s what this is abouuuut.
“what happened with him wasn’t special in that way. he heard us one night through the wall, exactly the night i stopped us. it was different with you, that was a different situation. you two are two different maturities. i thought you knew that too.” i thought you knew that too. why are you lowkey a good manipulator? “i like taking care of you specifically, if that’s what you’re overthinking about. but i’m not picking favorites. it just came like this. this isn’t driven by emotion, but the night i stopped us was. we both could tell, yeah?”
“…yeah.”
“yeah.”
why are you having the upper hand here???
he swallows, looking away. he looks gross. vulnerable needy little bitch. “so you don’t… feel anything when you’re with them?”
“not in the way you’re thinking.” you say softly. it matters how you talk to him now.
he’s quiet for a long time, processing. you’re so calm. so mature. so in control. it’s hot. it turns him on. finally he lets out a long breath and nods. “okay. yeah, you’re right. you’re right.”
you smile and pat his chest. “good. anything else?” oh that has a double meaning and both of you know it.
he watches you with big eyes. “…no.”
dumbass.
yeah. so that went down too. that helped you with seeing them more clearly now.
the more they get comfortable around you, the more they show what they can’t show the cameras. it’s hot, the tension, the secret, but now you see how they are, how they think. how much of the opposites they are from what they give out to the world. weird, confusing, toxic, selfish, traumatized, sexist.
hyunjin is one of the worst. he’s nasty. a bad man. he once told you women are naturally better at taking care of people, which sounds like a nice sentence at first especially said to a woman, but he means it in a way where your entire worth is tied to how useful and soft and fuckable you are. he expects you to drop everything when he calls your name. when you don’t jump fast enough he gets pissy. you’re a hole with nice hands to him. nothing more.
just again, him and jeongin are really similar. jeongin right now feels like getting his dick wet makes him manlier than his hyungs. he just basks in the ego high of i fucked her too.
felix is… you don’t see the side of felix where he’s sexist and kinda unintentionally mean. he doesn’t show you that. he’ll say shit like you’re so good at handling us but the subtext is always you’re so good at serving men. so there’s only under the surface things that you could notice. he doesn’t see you as a full person, he sees a walking collection of holes that happens to be nice to him and gives them what he asks for.
and han gets grabby and pushy when he’s horny. doesn’t really take in mind the fact that you have a personal space too and that you’re not just a worker for him. he’ll sling his arm around you, pull you to his lap without asking, basically is all on you. lucky that you like it, because he doesn’t care if you’re uncomfortable. he wants what he wants. c’mon just the tip final boss. a creep.
changbin is less aggressive than the others but just as selfish. he wants comfort. he wants to be taken care of. he wants your body, he wants a woman. now.
seungmin fully expects you to spread your legs when he decides it’s time. because to him you’re just useful. that’s what you are, a nice girl who can be used for his selfish dick.
minho… would see you as a woman if he cared about your personality, if maybe he got to know you as a person before a worker, if he was your friend, but he’s not. now he’s just an older guy who wants what’s between his assistant’s legs.
chan wants to be special, that’s what his fault is. he’s insecure, needy, sexist, and has a million other things to pay attention to, to top all this off. he’s unbelievably stressed. this is not good for him, but well… better as if there was no relief(the one you give) at all.
they’re all disgusting, pure lustbrained creeps who see you for your body, your services only. they don’t care about your feelings, they don’t ask if your jaw hurts after sucking them off, they don’t care if you’re tired or sore or tired from managing eight massive egos. they just want, want, want. more head. more pussy. more tits in their face. more of you dropping everything to service them.
they’re bitches too. under the idol image, they’re all entitled passive aggressive little shits. they complain about schedules, about each other, about management, about everything, but never about themselves. never about how they treat you.
you watch them live, just learn them when they’re busy. the way they bark your name when they want something. the way they expect you to laugh at their bad man jokes. the way they stare at your body. the casual sexism that slips out in “harmless” comments about women in the industry, about how “emotional” girls get, about how lucky they are to have a “chill” assistant like you.
it disgusts you.
you’re fascinated by it.
how quickly the fake act falls once they’ve had their dick in you. how fast thank you y/n turns into get on your knees y/n, how they go from sweer idols to horny, selfish boys the second they don’t have to act, to look good.
you like them for it, after all.
they’ve been told their whole lives that they’re special, that women exist to serve in some capacity, and now they got you dropped down at their bigass feet, competent, sweet, sexually available, confirming every disgusting fantasy they’ve ever had.
just again, felix and his fantasies. he’ll say something normal, seems like just a nice, an okay guy, all while he’s imagining you in some position he saw in a hentai at 4am. he wants to finally put it in something warm and living and woman and something that will make him cum. he wants you to call him daddy. to suck his cock while he plays his fucking games. he just wants and doesn’t want to give.
jeongin is just dumb. plain dumb. pretty face, nice dick, zero thoughts. he thinks getting to fuck you makes him cool, he tells the others about it left and right, he thinks he accomplished something instead of just being lucky.
hyunjin is mean. he wants to hurt you a little. he gets off on the power imbalance, that you are so much smaller than him, that he could fire you anytime. wouldn’t, though.
seungmin watches you always, when your back is to him. he just wants to fuck. like purely just wants some. he’s just… not entitled enough to do something about it. but he wants to. doesn’t know what to, though. and you’ve already had lots of the others, won’t he look pathetic? ugh, he can’t stand the thought of that. can only hope you see him attractive enough. wants you to. wants to play with you. make you like his voice, his body, his dick. personality is not important. who cares when you’re nothing more than a pair of tits and skill.
changbin feels like shit. already felt like fucking shit in general, then you came along, gave him hope, sucked hyunjin off. he’s not angry at you, of course, he’s not that dumb(so like if this situation was with seungmin and felix, if felix was in changbin’s potion then he’d be so angry at you too. but he’s not in changbin’s position, so) but he really wants some too, c’mon, everyone knows that. hyunjin especially!! so he’s a little angry at hyune now. that combined with living like this, the all time pressure, wanting to fuck bad and knowing who you want to fuck, makes him unreasonable too. he does crazy, dumb shit too. but that mostly comes out between him and the boys, so you don’t get much of that.
minho wants to dick you down but not urgent enough yet to ask. maybe in a scenario where he’ll get real needy but why would you be there, that usually happens when he’s at home. he thinks jisung will eventually start taking you home too, maybe then he’ll start opening towards you more. he already opens towards you lots, take him sitting with you and talking to you, simple staff btw that’s what you are, he’s just that attracted to you.
han just wants some attention too. he gets plenty of it already, but he wants your sexual attention specifically. your eyes on him, preferably in a scenario where he’s shirtless and you’re admiring him. he likes that little scenario lots. when daydreaming, his thoughts always come back to that. it’s his favorite. but… he’s not smart. we know that. so his kindness towards you comes from his want, not his pure heart. because he doesn’t value you. he just wants to fuck.
and we already know, chan wants to be your favorite, doesn’t matter if he likes that fact or not. he wants(craves, needs) emotional intimacy mixed with filthy sex and he doesn’t like that you won’t give him both.
or maybe he has to ask for that too? your job is to do things for them. ugh, no, not that easy. nevermind.
you see how they compete now. how they stare at you, follow you with their eyes. how they touch you more, really shooting their shots with the charm they learned over the years. they’re disgusting.
oh you don’t ignore any of this. you keep in mind every disgusting, selfish, sexist, lustful part of them that they have shown you so far. but you don’t care. you’re okay with them this way, this is just sex. work.
and they use that you let them act like this and accept them that way, since you enable their behavior, you let it slide. why wouldn’t you, you get paid for it.
yeah it’s a mutual understanding. during one long waiting period, you’re sitting on a couch with minho. you two are quiet, have been the whole time, you’re leaning forward to look through some papers on the table in front of you two, someone is talking to you, it’s all so crowded, fast, you feel his hand slide down your back… then lower… then he gropes your ass. like a confident squeeze. something a boyfriend would do.
you turn around immediately and he’s already looking at his phone, blank face, both hands on the phone. “sorry did you—“
“hm?” he asks. looks up at you with those big shining eyes, acting like he doesn’t know what you’re about to ask, like he’s just here and you mixed him up with someone. works well.
you stare at him. he stares back. you both know he’s lying. you both know he doesn’t care.
you sigh. look back to your business. the shit you let them get away with.
he bites his lip not to smile.
also, seungmin and felix living together means that they move such on the same frequency. they get each other so well, click immediately when they want to do something or the other does.
this was the explanation for how one afternoon, near at one of the closets you walk into to get something, they follow you. like not sneaky following, they’ve been having a conversation with you for about fifteen minutes now, so naturally they went with you, weren’t needed for work anyway.
now you’re completely talking to them, just holding whatever you came for. seungmin is in front of you, humming back to you, while felix is behind you pretending to reach for something on the shelf. dumb thing because what could possibly the princess need from there.
you feel fingers at your bra clasp, fumbling, clearly not experienced.
felix is trying to undo it one handed while seungmin distracts you with boring small talk about han.
they’re fucking hilarious, actually.
also can’t do it for shit.
you act like you don’t notice. the clasp doesn’t budge. lix gets frustrated, tugs harder, loses balance, grabs seungmin and yanks him to hold himself up. seungmin falls into felix. both of them fuck around, nearly knocking you over.
you close your eyes. smile. giggle. hear a loud “fuck—” from felix and a “yah—” from seungmin as they tangle into each other.
you turn around slowly.
felix is red. seungmin is pretending he wasn’t involved.
“you two good?”
“yeah.” they say at the same time.
felix mutters something about “the shelf was crooked” and stands up properly, fixes his clothes, hair. seungmin does about the same.
what does this result in? getting their egos hurt when they think they weren’t hot enough for you, didn’t impress you enough. that also can result from when they see one of the others impress you more(well, you’re not really impressed, but they think the other impressed you more because they thought the other did better than them).
hyunjin is big on that too. you make the mistake of smiling at changbin during lunch(because he said something genuinely nice, at least he can). hyunjin sees it from across the room and actually stomps. like actually fucking stomps his foot then barks “y/n. come here.” across the room
you get up, walk over.
he grabs your wrist and leans in. there was zero need for allat for what he’s about to ask for, but he’s beautiful doing it so it’s forgiven. “i want coffee. iced. two shots. oat milk. extra ice. and make sure it’s not watered down like last time.”
he doesn’t need coffee. he just saw you give changbin attention.
you nod sweetly(important that you’re sweet) and go get it.
when you hand it to him he takes it without a word, frowns down at it, then turns away with it. not one thank you said.
the others are just as childish. whores. literally, han hugs you from behind to hang on you. he’s fucking brutal like literally loosens his knees and hangs from you. “sorry y/n, i’m just so tired~” yeah suuuuure buddy.
remember how jeongin slapped your arm sweetly back when you were working with chan and he came out in underwear only? wait you know what he’s packing in those now. anyways. he’s doing those slaps now too, just to touch you, and they somehow always end up brushing the side of your tit. or “y/n i’m so sore from practice, can you massage my shoulders?”
and felix really only does this when no other staff is around, he doesn’t want a rumor to start now does he, but once or twice(exactly seven times) it already happened that he got behind you and rested his chin on your shoulder. breathing on your neck just because he knows women like that, if he’s tired too then one hand on your waist while he asks you about what you’re currently doing. transferring seungmin’s money, felix, transferring seungmin’s money. he asks you to do something similiar for him too later then leaves. he doesn’t want to. he likes your touch(to a level where liking your touch is more romantic than just lust) but he has shit to do and so do you. oh but when he’s free and you’re still busy then suddenly it’s not a problem—
once, once, minho put his hand on your thigh when you two were sitting next to chan in the rolling chairs while listening to han sing something out. chan didn’t notice, it’s not even about that, only you did. and him.
sometimes when you turn your head while on your laptop at one of the couches, seungmin is just staring into your soul. just looks at you, heavy eye contact when you look up. …hello?? he waves. oh okay hi.
and to top that off changbin has the audacity to come with “y/n… can you stay with me for a bit?” while you have a hundred other things to do and three of them is bringing important stuff to chan and exactly one is getting hyunjin matcha.
and chan wants to know that you still like him best. the fuck he so big for(wideness, not height) if he’s this small mentally.
you and him are sitting next to each other talking bout sum shit, well you’re talking, because he’s looking at you with the wettest most fuckable pathetic little kicked over no makeup eyes that his body is capable of. and he doesn’t mean to. he just gets so lost in his assistant that he lets you talk for minutes then has zero clue what you just said when you ask back. you hate that. like really actually do this is for real, go to work, chan.
yesterday for an example, you feel lix’s breath on your neck while he “helps” you carry something(not like anyone asked him to). and he doesn’t think that’s wrong. okay yeah, he feels it but only in the professional way, that the only wrongness about this is about his career. notice yourself, you fucking creep.
yes they’re this horrible. genuinely psychologically fucked up like how most famous people usually are.
age order now again, chan is deeply insecure and controlling. he needs to feel like he’s your main pick, like he’s special, like he’s the only one who really gets you(??? he’s weird). just because he was your first.
everytime you give attention to someone else it chips at his ego and he gets even sadder. and this man is already sad enough for most days, his life is living hell. typa guy who would cry after sex or get mad at you for not cuddling him long enough. leader complex, workaholic, abandonment issues, brutal wounds from his past. just great. oh you don’t wish a relationship with him on your worst enemy(sweet summer child y/n only if you knew how this fic will end…)
minho is blunt and dehumanizing on purpose. he sees you as a tool that happens to have a nice pussy. he’s a nice guy, sure whatever, is good for male friendship. would also be great for a romantic relationship with a woman but he doesn’t want any of that right now, right now his main focus “romantically” is you and your body.
changbin wants love and care from you while giving nothing back. selfish. so so so selfish but he’s also a really easy man. means you could have the upper hand here if you wanted it, but you don’t. you don’t fucking care as long as you get paid and get to have sex.
hyunjin has no empathy, that’s what his problem is besides being an average man, which means there’s evil in his heart. he gets off on power and degradation. he wants to hurt your feelings a little, wants to make you feel small so he feels bigger. classic narcissist with a god complex.
han is aggressive. he uses “playfulness” as an excuse to grope and grind and push. he’s emotionally immature as fuck. he thinks being loud and energetic towards you makes him charming when really he’s just exhausting. you liked him better when he wasn’t interested in you, when he was more real, when you saw him stare at his phone and look unflattering. then, you were even a little attracted. you like it when men are real. now you know what he wants.
felix is just an… average degrading porn watcher. yeah we’re really dragging it back to porn here so let’s ignore how significant it is to the way he acts, he’s dumb to start off with. this can be told by anything, really. a man that dumb could see women in a nice light, he does too, just not enough to respect an assistant who gives her body out.
seungmin is fine with staring at your ass, for now. he only understands people he loves, people he wants to understand. he can only feel empathy for them. so there is no reason for him to care about someone such low as you are, since you’re just staff. that’s all you are.
jeongin is just dumb. painfully dumb. classic pretty but empty. zero emotional intelligence. getting his dick wet makes him feel like a man. and he doesn’t understand boundaries. he just wants more, more, more, he cannot get enough of you, the idea of you.
they’re all menchildren. bitches. on you. constantly. they want attention. they want your hands giving care to them(your job btw). they want your mouth(not your job). they want your pussy, they want you to look at them with love and acceptance while they treat you like an object, they want you to be at their feet the second they snap their fingers.
jeongin is, obviously, like the worst now. ever since you fucked him he’s been glued to you. clingy. he’s too inexperienced with relationships that have worklife in them at some point, too dumb, too attached. he’s waiting for you to drag him into the nearest room again and doesn’t get it when it doesn’t happen. like… he hopes you want him. oh, you must, he ate you out so good. made you cum like, what, three times?(not even once) but oh what if you don’t like him..? oh no…
he’s is still in the honeymoon phase of i had sex with someone new, and it shows. he obviously feels a lot even though it was made clear that no feelings involved. he’s just not built for that and went into it too easily because he was horny at the moment. now look where that got him, he stares at you during the day, when you’re talking to chan about something, when you’re bringing the others things, when you help at practices, the others have to scream at him to pay attention. you give zero reactions to those, you, the fucking assistant is more professional than him.
the others are pissed. jealous. but can you blame him. blame them. they’re traumatized. fucked up. probably not fixable at all. years of torture, brutal training, sleep deprivation, constant criticism, their worth supposedly only as good as their last comeback, having their bodies and faces and voices taken as products which all need to be perfect. no fucking human is perfect. and they all push through pain, through illness, through burnout because stopping means disappointing millions and losing everything they’ve sacrificed for. it’s brutal.
they’ve been conditioned since they were teenagers to ignore their own bodies, their own minds, their own needs. like feelings are totally weakness(plus they’re men, feelings are much harder to express for men). vulnerability is girly. rest is laziness.
and you get it, you get why they need you now, why they all jumped at the chance of you.
they get prettier and emptier. praised and worshipped but never truly known. surrounded by people but deeply lonely.
you understand why they’re like this. you don’t want anything from them except their cum and their temporary peace. they want that.
deep down, even if they’re not conscious of it, appreciate it. your actions, selflessness and care means so much to them, they just don’t know it, could barely tell even if someone pointed it out for them.
so yea you’re still down to fuck, you don’t care how fucked up they are because you’re not gonna date them(again, only if you knew what awaits you at the end of the series) sometimes letting them use your body is the kindest thing you can do for them.
and oh bin has been having enough of hyunjin lately. he loves him so much, they’re literally each other’s top people, but no doubt that they get irritated at each other. these are usually little phases. now there’s a hyunjin irritates changbin phase. it’ll pass, whatever, they all do, but it’s still ongoing now. so when you overhear hyunjin telling someone during lunch that he’s sleeping over at his parents’ house tonight, you already know what’s coming.
and what’s coming? changbin finding you in a hallways while everyone’s packing up.
“y/n, hey, uh, are you free tonight? my dorm. hyunjin’s gone for the night, i know you two… yeah. i… i could really use some company. if you want.”
you understand perfectly. he’s asking for the same thing the others have been chasing, relief.
“yeah, i’ll come over.” knowing he wants to bury his face between your legs or cry in your arms or both.
because at the end of the day, these are just men. disgusting, traumatized, horny men who never had the chance to learn how to ask for help the healthy way.
men are already shit at that, now combine that with the way these live. so they ask with their bodies. with their dicks. with their neediness and their selfishness and their ugly little egos.
you let them. someone has to. you can handle it. you’re fine with it. you’re always fine with it.
so hours later, you end up at his and hyunjin’s dorm again. oh how much better the atmosphere is when hyunjin is not here! (he’s actually a pleasant company if you two are friends. but you two are not)
changbin holds the door open for you like a proper gentleman, okay wow thanks, stepping back with a small, shy smile. looks good on him. or more likely, knows how to use it.
“come in… thank you for coming. really.” oh he’s so much better than hyunjin was. “do you want water? or tea? i can make coffee if you want something warm. or… there’s juice? or snacks? i bought some fruit earlier—”
“i’m okay, really. thank you though.” you shake your head with a pretty smile.
he hovers as you walk further inside. though he knows it’s not your first time here. fuck. but the dorm is neat, much neater than chan and jeongin’s place.
changbin waits until you sit down on the couch first, then sits next to you, leaving a respectful gap between your bodies. his hands in his lap, fingers playing with themselves. he’s visibly nervous. first time having a hooker over or whatever.
he clears his throat. “so… how was your day? i know it was long. you were running around a lot again. i saw you.”
you lean back a little, getting comfy, crossing your legs. “it was fine. same as usual. how about you? you seemed tired during practice.”
“yeah… it’s been like that lately. y’know, we have lots of things to do.” you do know, you do some of them for them.
“yeah. you’re doing great though.”
he chuckles, looks away, rubbing his thigh.
“tell me what’s been going on with you.”
he exhales. poor boy. “it’s just… everything. and the others get in these moods where nothing i do is right, and then at night i can’t sleep because… my brain won’t turn off. it’s all just a lot now.” he’s trying his best, communicating. men aren’t good at that, expressing their feelings, we know that.
“i have no idea how tiring it could be to be you. i just run around, that’s what i can tell you about, but for you… it’s unbelievable to me.”
“oh, no, heh, you’re—“
“you’re so good at what you do, boss.”
he looks at you. his mouth is open.
oh that boss was so perfect right now.
suddenly your knees are touching. then your thighs. his hand is on your waist. you turn toward him and he meets you halfway.
the kiss is very… adult. deep, hungry. he kisses good. and—oh he’s already using tongue. now that’s what you like. no fucking around, and he’s confident now(must have remembered how amazing he is again, your words helped him too), one hand cupping the back of your neck while the other pulls you closer.
his heartubeatuh, horribly overused and unfunny joke but couldn’t miss it, is so fast, so fast that he notices it. but his main focus is on your mouth, on you. he gives a relieved sound when you kiss him back just as eagerly, sounds so good. you two match so well.
he pulls back. well, that was quick. oh wait no he has something to say. “you’re… really good at that.” he whispers.
you smile, biting your bottom lip on purpose. “so are you.”
“uh, listen, i don’t want you to feel like you have to. if you don’t want this, we can just talk. or watch something. i don’t want to be like the others who—”
“i want to.” you squeeze his knee. he feels it. “i’m here because i want to be. because i like helping you feel good. because i like you, changbin.”
“oh—okay then. thanks.”
the kiss picks up where it left off. this is different from the others, with chan it was heavy and emotional, for him. with hyunjin it was pure human nature. with jeongin it was clumsy and so horny and just wanting to stick it somewhere already. with changbin… it’s actually pleasant. sweet, for your soul too for once, not just theirs.
you kiss him harder, sucking on his tongue, and he whimpers, let’s fucking go. you’re more confident now, that can be told easily by anyone who knows you. but luckily, these men don’t know you. can’t tell that you know they all want you. you know you can have any of them you want, whenever you want. that you might even be an… addiction? in development? well it wouldn’t get nice for their mental health to get addicted to something now, but what can you do about it? nothing.
you lean away, he thinks you’re just getting air, but then you start kissing down his neck. oh his dear god yes please. open mouthed, wet and hot kisses at first that makes him let out a loud exhale, head tilting to the side in pleasure, not even consciously.
the second your teeth graze his neck, when you start lightly nibbling on him, he gets goosebumps so visible, running down his arms. he shivers, arches, gets so hard in his pants.
“ah, fuck…”
you take his encouragement and do it again, nibbling on his neck, then going up and sucking gently under his ear.
his skin is so sensitive, so reactive. every little bite makes him twitch and whimper and smile and squirm around. the thought of rubbing your hip(that he’s still holding onto) crosses his mind, but then your tongue on his neck makes him moan and the thought of doing something for you too passes quickly.
he’s relieved someone is finally taking care of him for once. he’s so selfish. he’s under so much pressure. he deserves this. he deserves to be selfish. to have a pretty girl kissing his neck, and lower, soon.
you slide your hand down between your bodies and start rubbing him over his jeans. that’s what we meant by lower, soon. because he deserves this too.
he’s so hard. feels nice. you rub on him slowly, and binnie’s head falls back on the couch with a loud moan, hips pushing up into your hand.
he’s so responsive. every little squeeze or grope or stroke makes him turns his head around, eyes closed, blissed the fuck out. every time your teeth graze his skin he moans. he’s so hard it has to hurt.
you nibble on his neck, finding a what looks like a pretty sensitive spot.
“please don’t stop.” he breathes. “i… i really need you tonight…”
“i’ve got you. just relax.” and he does. he melts under your hands, moaning softly. “can i take your pants off, changbin?”
he nods so fast. “yeah, please, you can take everything off if you want.”
he looks down at you undoing his belt with huge eyes, you’re doing better with this belt than you were with hyunjin’s, it’s away in a second. button, zipper next. his cock basically calling your name.
he lifts his hips when you get to actually pulling things down. when you start tugging the jeans down only, he grabs his boxers himself and pushes down those too. oh, look at that, a cock. hello. his hands are shaking a little as he pushes them down his thick thighs.
hm. shaved for you. he looks nice. exactly what you’d expect from a short buff asian man. so a fat dick, basically. maybe around five inches, and holy the girth.
you wrap your hand around it. mhm, yeah, approved. his balls hang nicely too. a great package in general, looks like it would stretch you open so fucking good.
you hum softly in approval(that hits his heart so good). start stroking him as much as you can with no anything lubricanting involved.
changbin’s head falls back on the couch again with a moan, mouth open, eyes closing. “ahh, fuck… your hand feels so good.”
he’s so unbelievably sensitive. you like that.
you let a little spit drip on him to work better, now your hand slides on, with the foreskin and not afraid anymore to yank it too hard(you’re always scared of hurting dicks accidentally like this, they look so fragile:( ), now every stroke makes his cock twitch. feels good, how hard the cute little thing is. men just having things hanging between their legs is so cute.
when you twist your wrist at the head he whimpers, hips jerking up into your hand, head falling forward. some pre leaks from the slit that you can work with, it’s nicer to pull the skin up and down and around with that. you spread the pre around with your fingers, rubbing slow circles over the so so so sensitive head.
“y/n— shit, you’re so good at this…” and he’s heard about it too and still didn’t expect you to be this good.
you two actually look so cute from the outside if we ignore how erotic it is. you stroking him, sitting next to him, looking down at his fat cock disappearing into your fist over and over. cuties. plus, you’re unbelievably good at this and you know it. you squeeze perfect on the upstroke, thumb pressing under the head on every pass, occasionally spitting into your hand to make it even wetter. now it starts to give sounds too. it’s blessing your ears.
so far, great sexual experience. you’re gonna start grading these guys. he’s doing best so far from them, kinda.
it’s even cuter from the outside pov that he’s absolutely losing his mind beside you. his head keeps falling back, then snapping forward again so he can watch your hand working him, then to the side to bear with the pleasure and the emotions that come from finally getting this by someone else. his mouth stays open, moans, whimpers, stomach flexing all the time, whole body of his so honestly reacting to what you’re doing for him.
you lean down and give the head a slow little lick, then another but now swirl your tongue around the fat tip, as long as you don’t pull it back into your mouth you won’t feel the taste so it’s fine.
changbin lets out a loud whine. yeah that’s it for not taking your tongue back into your mouth because now you want it too, so to start off with you take just the head into your mouth, sucking gently while your hand keeps stroking the (thick) shaft. your jaw stretches. so does your back, having to sit next to him(you scooted over a bit) and leaning down to suck him off. you bob your head slowly, taking a little more each time, while your hand works the rest of him.
changbin puts his hands into your hair, gathers all of it, then holds it up in a pony with one hand, the other going down to your back. no particular reason, that’s just where humans would usually put their hand.
you pull off with a pop, fuck it sounds so hot it makes his tummy flip, strings of spit connecting your lips to his cock, and look up at him while you stroke him fast. “you’re so thick.” you murmur. “feels so good in my hand.”
he brings up the hand on your back to cover his lower face with, lower arm over his chin. part insecure about it, part just normally being affected by your words. “don’t say that i’ll cum too fast…”
you smile and lean back down, taking him deeper into your mouth, relaxing your throat so you can take more of him.
then you continue to suck him, bobbing your head, letting spit run down his shaft while only your fingers are around his base now. his moans pick up but louder.
it’s too easy. he’s so reactive, so sensitive, making him feel good is the easiest so far. an assistant’s job is to help, right? and right now changbin really, really needs help.
he’s also a natural in holding your hair back, so good at it, not pulling, not pushing your head down, just holding your hair in a loose little ponytail so it doesn’t get in the way. his grip moves with your head, picked the rhythm up you’re stroking him with.
oh he’s the male ever. but also, you struggle. your jaw starts to hurt after just a few minutes of sucking something this thick. the muscles burn, your lips feel stretched and sore and big, and everytime you take him deeper(which he always rewards with a little whine) you gag. your nose runs a little. your eyes water.
you have to pull back sometimes just to breathe, gasping, strings of spit connecting your swollen lips to his glistening cock while you stroke him with a slick hand. at least the smell of dick is not that strong in this position. well, you gladly deal with any men’s cock and balls smell if he’s hot enough, and changbin is hot enough, but still your nose having fresh air in it makes this a much better experience.
he doesn’t mind you stopping, if anything that’s what makes this perfect. helps him last longer too. always gives him a little time to breathe and turn his head around.
and he feels wanted. he feels desired. he feels like a man. he can barely think. could not care less about you stopping a few times because you need it.
he doesn’t taste particularly good. your throat constricts, trying to keep out whatever the fuck you’re shoving down on it now. you gag, an ugly gluck, spit runs down his shaft and over his pretty balls. his eyes roll back at the sound of that. your jaw hurts. your neck is starting to hurt from the angle. your eyes are watering so badly tears run down your cheeks.
but you push through, relaxing your throat as best you can, crossing your toes and whatever else tips you’ve heard for killing a gag reflex, taking him until your nose presses to his skin. there we go.
you gag. pull back, swallow around him. his whole body moves, arches, reacts above you. you circle your tongue around the fat head. he whimpers. you stroke the thick base with your slick hand while sucking the head. he throws his head back and humps his hips up.
you pull off for a bit to breathe, gasping, panting, coughing and every other colleague, strings of spit and precum connecting your chin to his cock.
you look up at him, your pretty eyes wet and red and tears running down from them, lips big, shiny, while your hand keeps stroking him.
it’s intimate, how he stares down at you.
the eye contact, in general.
his pretty face is red in the cheeks, lips parted, eyes half lidded(hottest thing a man can do with his eyes) as he stares down at you. his luring chest is moving fast, nipples hard and poking his shirt.
“you’re… you’re incredible.” he whispers. that was the only word he could find in this state really, and he’s right, you’re no less than incredible.
“thank you.” you take him back into your mouth, sucking harder this start.
your jaw is really starting to ache now, your throat hurts, but you keep bobbing your head, stroking the base or massaging his balls(oh that’s new, he closes one eye at that, grimaces in pleasure, and his eyes roll back).
his hand in your hair pulls, not even conscious that he’s doing it, holding your head in place as his hips start fucking into your mouth. not like, fucking, just tiny little pumps. because he’s so close.
and you’re going to let him cum. because that’s what good assistants do. they help. assist.
yeah he didn’t last long. you didn’t expect him to, though. his moans turn louder, higher, sweeter. “y/n, ahh— i’m— i’m gonna— fuck—”
changbin’s whole perfect body locks up, back arching off the fucking couch as he cries out the longest moan he has probably ever made. his eyes are closed in focus on his body, brows furrowed, his hips jerking up in tiny little thrusts as ropes of cum shoot on your tongue.
the taste is bearable. not as bad as chan’s or hyunjin’s was, you managed to swallow their loads too, but changbin’s is easier. you don’t have to gag it up here or hold anything back, it’s a little bitter but you can swallow it while still sucking on now just the head.
he keeps moaning through it. it’s so cute. his balls pulse visibly in your hand, contracting with each shot, emptying everything he’s been holding in for god knows how long.
when it ends he slumps back on the couch. chest moving fast, eyes closed(means he trusts you), lips open, trying to catch his breath, to adjust to the brutal orgasm he had.
you pull off slowly, swallowing what’s left in your mouth, gently stroke him through the aftershocks until he whines softly from the overstimulation, his hips squirming around.
then you stop, sit up straight, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand, looking at his pretty face.
he opens his eyes. looks in front of himself. breathes. looks back at you with big eyes. dazed. “thank you. seriously. i don’t even know what to say.”
you lean in and kiss his cheek softly. even that’s professional from you and he can feel it, holy shit. “mm, you’re welcome.”
how that little kiss makes his heart react.
he laughs a little, shy, embarrassed, rubbing his face with both hands. “i lasted like… two minutes. i’m so sorry.”
“don’t be. i didn’t expect you to. you’ve been really stressed.”
and see how much nicer it is to talk to him? the others should sit down with notebooks and start writing.
“you’re really good at this. really. thank you.”
you chuckle(it’s a good technique, giving him only that) and stand up, stretching your legs. your jaw aches. your throat hurts like he poured boiling water down on it. okay that’s maybe an exaggeration, but anyways, for some reason you feel satisfied. just like when you were with chan for the first time. the second time with him, hyunjin an jeongin, weren’t satisfying at all. hyunjin was hot but didn’t make you feel fulfilled, only grew your ego. jeongin? pffftt don’t even start.
“thanks. i’m gonna go drink some water real quick, okay? stay here.” you ask in such a pretty voice.
“yeah, of course. take your time.”
you go to the kitchen, get yourself a glass of just lukewarm water, sip it slowly, staring at the fridge.
this was much better than the other experiences you had so far. less… chaotic. he’s genuinely sweet, even if he’s still a selfish man underneath it all. they all are. they take and take and take, but at least changbin was a pleasant experience. he’s naturally like that, maybe, but he would still deserve this release if he wasn’t.
when you come back to the living room, he has pulled his boxers an jeans back up(didn’t bother with the belt but has his jeans buttoned) he hesitates, then asks shyly “um… can i… do something for you too? i really want to make you feel good. if you’ll let me. i’m down for anything.”
what the fuck? one of these eight selflessly offering something? you’re genuinely touched. this really made him bigger in your eyes, and the cherry on top was his i’m down for anything, you actually feel, what? respect? maybe.
but you shake your head anyway. “not tonight, i’m really tired. i should go home and sleep. but thank you for offering. that was really sweet of you.”
“yeah, of course. i understand.” he looks a little disappointed, the actual fuck, but nods, respectful. okay daddy???
and you can tell he means it. he wants to return the favor, not just because he thinks he should or he wants to get something out of it(“i’m down for anything” anything has just going down on you and not getting anything from it in it) but because he’s attracted to you.
and i’m boutta fall off my chair he even walks you to the door like a gentleman, your best experience of a man following you to this door so far khm khm hyunjin trying to get some khm khm, and changbin wishes you would’ve stayed longer.
“thank you y/n, uh, thank you, stay safe, bye, thank you.” oh he means it.
the way he closes the door after you step out is gentlemanly too.
another one down. best experience so far. (chan would be punching his pillow if he knew about this)
changbin feels incredibly lucky. like unbelievably. more lucky than anything. his brain is releasing lots of good shit right now, bonding him harder to you, making him feel chemistry. he feels lighter from the orgasm too. this came really good for him now.
he knows most men in his position never get this, a beautiful, competent, emotionally intelligent woman who sees them and him this disgusting and still chooses to comfort them with her body and her kindness without asking for anything in return.
you’re actually an impressive woman. not just for your sex skills, but also for how you perform the next day. like nothing happened. you’re so good.
that’s nothing to hyunjin though. in the morning the second you walk into the practice room he waves you over with two fingers(this bitch), takes his little iced coffee from your hand. you always come with his iced coffee.
“morning, y/n.” he says, taking a sip. “you look tired. late night?” he stands next to you, both of you watching the other boys and some staff fuck around in the room, shoulder to shoulder without the shoulders actually touching, but really it’s because he doesn’t let you go. so he’s looking around the room, breathtaking. he smells good, expensive, luxury.
“mm.” you have minho’s coffee in your hand too, but he’s not here yet. “went to sleep just fine.”
“really? you’ve been busy lately.” he murmurs, looking around to make sure no one’s listening too closely. “helping a lot of people, huh?”
you just smile sweetly. “that’s my job.”
he huffs, a tiny little laugh, oh he wants you bad.
chan looks over at you. gives you an awkward hand raise. you wave back. hyunjin whistles next to you, seeing it. oh you want to hit him. but maybe… maybe in the playful smacking way now and not actually to death with a microphone.
meanwhile chan’s big mind is all why him and not me? why did you let jeongin inside you? it’s torturing him. poor thing.
changbin… acts really casual, good job baby. he’s a great actor. hyunjin standing next to you can’t even tell that anything happened last night at the very couch he sometimes beats his meat on.
he notices that changbin keeps looking at you with these grateful, almost lovesick eyes, but thinks it’s just a crush or whatever. sees that changbin wants to talk about something, assumes it’s for work.
oh his eye does twitch at jeongin giving you an enthusiastic little wave, though. also twitches at how sweetly you wave back. ugh, calm down, lovebirds. (you two are not even close, hyune)
later through he day even he’s not the only one fed up with jeongin being on your dick. han actually had to step in once with a “bro, come on, stop. sorry y/n.” but they love jeongin. so they tolerate it.
and it makes you bigger in their eyes, how you don’t react much, stay as professional.
okay now you got these four. already had four of these dicks in you, great.
and when i say the other staff has been noticing some shit. because the boys getting used to you isn’t subtle or in development anymore, how could it be? eight grown ass men, millionaires, grown fucking adults with international lives suddenly getting all close and friendly with their assistant.
for an example, you’re standing around checking shit for the boys when minho comes up to you, hums as a greeting, oh he loves to hear how formally you always (have to) greet him back, and he wraps both arms around your right one, and leans his entire weight on you. like a little standing up nap. you’re holding him up.
some older female staff walks by, does a double take, you give her a tired little shrug like what can i do? minho closes his eyes. grown man.
let’s not even mention the han bounce him incident.
or felix, because they know they can let themselves get comfortable with you and the staff’s job is to help them and not judge them so he’s supposed to do fuckwhat he wants, during something you have to watch over he walks up behind you, puts his chin on your shoulder, arms around your waist, sighs. “so tired.” he mumbles. stays like that for about ten minutes, silent, actually enjoying your body on his without the sexual way(though that’s why he came), later gets bored and wanders off. knows that other people from the outside view it as platonic.
other people also see how clingy jeongin is when you’re there, or helping him with something. ever since you fucked him he’s been unbearable. when you stand up to throw seungmin’s trash away jeongin tells you “don’t go far.” grown man. the other staff keep exchanging looks. figure he got attached in a platonic way. pfftt.
and oh, ooh, OOOOH when hyunjin the little whore sat in your lap. acted like it was joking around, as if he sat in one of the other guys’ laps, that unserious, but the way he spread his thighs and leaned back on your chest and got sleepy told a different story. he stayed there for a while, wiggling occasionally, until you finally pushed him off. pushed the guy off who’s dick you had in your mouth. let’s consider that you, someone this low compared to them, have the knowledge that you can push them around and no negative consequences will come meanwhile staff are supposed to obey to anything, is a huge word. you made this spot for yourself.
chan is not that touchy in front of people, thank fuck. so the staff has no business seeing any signs of attachment on him. that’s great.
changbin stops following you on the halls. no negative reason for that, absolutely not, it’s actually positive, he’s a little nervous. little bitch. you just sucked his dick so good that he’s thinking about you lots nowadays. doesn’t mean he completely doesn’t interact with you, like during one break he rested his head on your shoulder while pretending to look at your tablet, what you were doing on it. awww, okay binnie. but still, for now he’s still a little shy. like how does he even keep up a long conversation with you after that??
and oh seungmin hugged you after a bad day. not a quick little hug that would be like a bro hug with the others. more of a colleague hug, but he still wanted your body on his. he came back from a solo whatnot looking drained, saw you in the hallway, walked up, mumbled a hi, wrapped his skinny arms around you, face buried in your shoulder.
you hugged him back, rocked, bounced him a little. you’re good at this too.
and… people don’t usually hug him like that, adult people don’t usually hug like that, we’ve grown out of it, of giving these comforting hugs with the bouncing and rocking that we give to upset children, so it felt extra nice to him, extra comforting.
he held you tight for a while before pulling away and muttering “thanks” and raised his hand to another staff member walking past after he left you there. his dick is important to him but so is physical reassurance.
separation anxiety. not just from each other, they’ve always had that, years of shared trauma and just getting along in general and whatnot, but now it’s spreading to you. you make them feel safe in their skins. you don’t judge, you don’t demand, you help. you let them be what they can’t be to the public. so now they get… twitchy when you’re not in sight.
they need you, and that’s cute. or well, way cuter than the way they dgaf about your feelings.
the other staff have started with the “did you see how close she got with stray kids?” “han was in her lap again. bouncing. he’s twenty five.” “hyunjin rested his elbow on her shoulder, is he even allowed to do that?” “jeongin is on y/n all the time.” “what’s with the new assistant and bang chan going into rooms all the time and him coming out looking weird? are they fucking?” they don’t understand it. but they don’t say anything, the boys are the money makers, the ones who pay everyone’s salaries. you catch some looks but who cares.
and fuck’s sake boys, this is a workplace. a high pressure, multibillion dollar company, right? and you let them live their needs out. now it’s not just them being inappropriate, you’re actively enabling it. you’re also in the fault here, not just the boys taking advantage of you, because you consciously let them.
it’s unprofessional, wrong, ethically. legally. morally. if this ever got out, the company would put it as you seducing them. you’d be the villain, the slutty assistant who corrupted her innocent idols. you’d get fired, a case of inappropriate relationship with staff, even though they’re the ones initiating.
you’re the only woman in their close circle, it’s a massive power imbalance. you’re paid to be here. they’re your bosses. you’re under them. they’re so bad here. you’re not a saint either, but c’mon, we can all see the level of where you stand on the inappropriate scale and where do they.
well, but who cares, you take dick! changbin has been really worked up about his turn lately too. he feels really good. and so full of feelings. and he can’t keep it to himself.
what does that look like? it looks like him sitting next to han in one of the recording rooms(well not the booth, at where the others watch the one currently recording, fuck knows what they’re called) starts with a “hey… uh. can i tell you something?”
han raises his eyebrows, sipping his drink with one hand, his phone in the other. “what’s up?”
changbin looks around, then mumbles “dude, uh—” how does he even get this out? “y/n sucked me off too.” smiling ear to ear btw. “like she… like she was at my place and…” imitates how he held your hair.
han freezes with his drink to his mouth. his eyes go big, face in a :o shape. “no way. wait. for real? really?”
“yeah.”
“bro.” he slaps changbin’s arm, grinning like the fucking dipshit he is. “how was it? was she good? i’m so jealous it hurts. good for you, man. seriously. tell me everything.”
tell him everything he did.
then lix. both sitting on the floor against a wall, talking, tells him that “y/n gave me head. when hyune was gone, it was amazing.”
the smirk felix smirks. “no shit? really?” when binnie nods, lix leans his head back against the wall, smiling. “keep me updated, yeah? i’m happy for you, bro. how’d it feel?”
he gets it detailed too. oh they’re just giggling the fuck around.
he gets a “hm. nice.” from seungmin. a “what? congrats.” from minho. an excited “that’s awesome.” from jeongin. hyunjin didn’t even mind it, he kinda did the same thing, needed all details though. and then a “she did?” from chan paired with a big smile and a clap on bin’s shoulder with a “thanks for telling me.”
chan has to throw up.
only if you knew what you do to him, only if he fucking communicated.
changbin deals relatively good with what he got from you. for hyunjin, it just tied him to you more. chan, oh we know, it created this tension between you two. he wants you again. badly. he wants you the way innie had you(little shit told every single detail, but so did chan about his own turn, hyunjin, changbin), using him for your own pleasure too. he wants to feel wanted like that. he wants to be inside you so fucking bad it’s making him stupid. like actually sets him back during the day. but anyways, the point of this, is how jeongin didn’t take it well.
well, he took it very well, but that’s where the problem comes from. good boys wait and respect women, that’s what he has been always told. but… that’s just not him, is it? after having you and not currently being with you when you’re close to him and the boys, like you come to ask chan something and jeongin immediately stands up and stands next to you, anyways, then every few minutes he zones out and thinks of you on top of him, tits out, pussy sliding up and down his cock. he blushes randomly. he giggles to himself. he gets hard randomly and has to hide behind his hoodie.
his brain is pretty much “it wasn’t that bad, right? she wanted it. she was helping me. it’s not like i forced anything. god probably understands stress relief…” then forgets all about it he now knows what you feel like from the inside. well, kinda. condom. but he did have his face swimming in you, if that counts!
you don’t have any problems with this. oh even better, some people above you tell you that your salary has been raised. like significantly. it’s a fat raise. effective immediately.
fuck yes. fuck yes. fuck YES. all that dick sucking, ass spreading, patience is finally paying off in actual money. you deserve every single won. you’ve earned it.
and you don’t know this but some of the boys themselves made that happen. like chan. he made sure the higher ups knew how great you were. how hard you worked.
and, you won’t believe it, even hyunjin put in good words. but like… without anyone knowing. but take the fact that that evil little brat actually said something nice about you behind your back. duality of man, he still wants you bad but he also acknowledged that you make their lives easier. that you’re good at your job. maybe there’s a tiny human somewhere deep in there after all. okay there is a tiny human, who’s been hurt so much by the world already. that’s partly why you can never stay mad at him for long.
and… and minho was in it too. he said some good things when higher people asked how the new assistant was doing.
now that we’re at the hyunjin topic. kinda few nights after bin told him that you sucked him off too, they’re both at their dorm. the irritated situation faded by now, kinda.
anyways, they’re talking, hyunjin is on the couch, asks changbin “so where did she suck you off anyway?”
changbin points to the exact spot on the couch right next to where hyunjin got sucked off by you. “right there.”
hyunjin stares at the couch. then at changbin. then back at the couch. “you’re fucking kidding me.”
“what?”
hyunjin stands up, grabbing changbin in a headlock. “you little shit—on the same fucking couch? i’ll kill you.” average i’ll kill you user. update your boy vocabulary, hyunjin.
changbin laughs, trying to squirm away. “yah— stop— it just happened—”
they start choking each other the fucking dumbasses. rolling around on the couch which you’ve been on twice now, servicing different members.
that’s exactly why hyunjin just feels so… ugh. ugh. uuugghhghg!!!
he wants you now.
or more likely, next day. well, leaves you alone for most of the start of the day(except when you give him his morning coffee) all that until lunch.
the second he’s done eating his little whatever what makes him healthy, he stands up and goes to you. you, who doesn’t even eat fucking lunch because you don’t have the time to. and when you would have time, seungmin start screeching for something.
so, you’re as usual standing up and at your fucking work, just left your boys there they’re about to finish eating anyway, walking into a smaller little hallway to get to something. doesn’t even matter what, just that while you’re getting it, hyunjin walks up, leans one shoulder on the wall. stops and watches you.
“y/n. come over this afternoon.”
you look up at him. “this afternoon? hyunjin, you finish late today. you have that—”
“i’ll leave early. they won’t care. i’ll say i’m not feeling well. just… come over. please.”
his eyes are doing all the work. he’s learned how to use them. the little tilt of his head, the way his voice moves, he all learned to do this. he’s so fucking good at this.
you sigh. “it’s the middle of the day. people will notice if you dip.”
“let them notice.” he mutters. “i need you. now. not tonight. not later. just come over.”
his hand brushes your waist, light. okay, wait, hyunjin, unprofessional. stop.
“hyunjin, this is really not the time. this is one of the days that are completely full.”
those eyes. he’s an unfair little cunt. “please, y/n. i’m not asking for the whole night. just… an hour. two. i’ll leave and meet you at the dorm. it’ll just be us.”
i’ll just be us.
you hesitate.
“please don’t make me beg in the hallway.” he whispers. whispers. fuck he won.
humans are just mammals at the end of the day. advanced, self aware, language using mammals, all civilized and moral and evolved, but take away the suits and the contracts and the million dollars and we’re still animals. primates. things with the same basic want as every other creature that’s ever walked this planet. and what do mammals want more than anything? to fuck. to reproduce. to pass on their genes. that’s older than language, older than culture, older than shame.
every living thing wants to reproduce. bacteria split, flowers bloom and get pollinated, dogs hump legs, birds do dances, all of it with the same goal, to continue the species. humans are the only ones who turned it into something for pleasure, something that feels good even when it won’t make a baby. but still, we want to have sex as much as everything else does.
fuck. feel good. connect. release.
these boys have been denied that fucking basic need for years. constant training, diets, cameras in their faces, people watching their every move, dorms where privacy is a myth.
they’re young healthy males in their physical prime, and their bodies can’t get what it needs. of course they’re obsessed with you. of course they’re pushy and needy and disgusting.
their biology is fighting their environment.
now hyunjin especially. he’s sensitive under allat attitude. he feels everything deeply. and he got a taste of real, uncomplicated pleasure, your mouth, your body, how you let him be selfish, he needs it more now than he did the first time you sucked him off because his body, his mind, remembers how good it felt. how for a few minutes he wasn’t an idol, he was just a man getting his dick sucked.
he’s a mammal who found a safe source of dopamine and oxytocin. of course he’ll want that all the time now.
“fine.” you say quietly. defeated in your tone. “text me when you leave. but only for a couple hours, i mean it.” aren’t you the assistant here? who are you to tell him what to do?
he doesn’t seem to mind though. he smiles. it’s pretty. “thank you.”
he steps back, gives you one last long look, fucking buys you right there, and walks away. midday fuck negotiated.
he really wants to take you back to the dorm in his car but even he isn’t that stupid. getting caught with his assistant slipping into the passenger seat in the middle of the afternoon would be career suicide. so he waits. texts you about two hours later, needy little shit.
hyunjin: come over now. i left. door’s unlocked. just walk in.
you do, still wearing your work clothes, bag slung over your shoulder, drop it off next to the door too. hyunjin’s there, leaning on the wall in home clothes(what he wants to seem like home clothes, so a black hoodie, gray sweats, hair messy but he really made his hair stand like this because when he’s actually comfy at home then his whole head is flat and he’s in underwear only. performative dickhead)
he watches you take your shoes off with this stupid little smile on his face with his eyebrows raised. he can’t take you seriously anymore. you’re just… cute. like aw you’re taking your shoes off, what else big girl things can you do?? sweetpea.
that’s why the second you’re fully upright he’s on you, grabs your face with both hands and kisses you hard.
and even with chan you hesitated to kiss. you didn’t kiss the other two either. and that was for a very good reason.
even though he forced himself on you, you kiss back, because he’s good at it. because you want it. because he tilts your head exactly how he wants, sucking on your bottom lip, then licking into your mouth, wanting to taste you. wanting to taste his assistant.
his body presses you forward, pushing you back until you’re on the wall. almost like he tries to physically force you to want him as much as he wants you right now.
it works.
damn he knows how to kiss. slow deep strokes of his tongue, little bites on your lip, tilts his head to get even deeper.
“mmh—” you make that sound into his lips, surprised at how fast he’s moving.
while he’s still kissing you, tongue fucking your mouth while you two could be getting down to it already because you have to get back, one of his hands leaves your face, down your body, cups your pussy over your jeans, and squeezes. gropes.
you pull back from the kiss with a gasp. “h— slow the fuck down, dude—”
hyunjin laughs on your mouth, lips brushing yours as he keeps rubbing you over your jeans, now looking into your eyes.
with big, shining, beautiful eyes.
“why?” he murmurs, his lips drop the uptilt. he looks serious. “you came here for this, didn’t you? don’t act shy now.”
he kisses you again. trying to make you soak through the denim, moving his fingers, really groping into you. his tongue is back in your mouth, licking and sucking, smiling into you when you… oh fuck off y/n, why are you humping his hand??
he feels a lot because of that, because of you. feels a lot in general. relief that you came, frustration that he had to wait, greed now that he finally has you in his palm. he’s so hard already.
part of you is annoyed at how fast he’s moving, how entitled he is, how he thinks he can just summon you in the middle of the day and grope you. but really, he doesn’t just think it, because he’s right. but of course the other part is for liking how bad he wants you. how desperate he is. how this beautiful, famous, rich, sensitive boy needs you now and you have him like this.
so you kiss him back, biting his lip, and he moans into your mouth.
he wants to bend you over their couch so the legacy goes on, wants to hear you moan for him, wants to prove he’s better than the others. he wants everything for himself.
this of course goes back to being better than other men. dick comparing is something no man can really shake off, no amount of evolution will get rid of that for us. so it’s not just his needs and traumas calling for you, but also his dumb little man mindset. hyunjin is a man.
but underneath all that lustful asshole football watcher behavior is that he’s scared. scared you like them more, scared you’re not a forever thing, not because he likes you, but because he likes his dick and his dick’s important to him. this is all just being selfish. so he kisses you to make you stay with him, trying to be good enough, desperate enough, pretty enough, that you’ll keep coming back to him.
“missed you.” he mutters.
oh?
he squeezes you again but harder, leans in to bite your bottom lip, then pulls away. “gonna fuck you today, y/n.”
this asshole. this prick. this heartless evil cunt.
also the dickhead that you let pick you up.
yeah hyunjin slides his hands under your thighs, lifts you off the floor, and you wrap your legs around his waist. not a thought crosses your mind. none of them has ever done this to you yet. he even carries you down the short hallway to his room(okay that makes sense why other reason would he pick you up for if not to carry you somewhere). breathing hard into your mouth, groan, growl, finally having you in his arms is both relief and rage.
why the fuck are you attracted to him?
who cares, he kicks his bedroom door open, carries you inside, drops you onto his bed. you bounce once on the mattress, looking up at him. you look so good.
he turns around, walks back to the door, shuts it. the sound itself is intimate.
then he’s back, crawling up the bed like a predator, trying to ignore the feeling of his boner, and when he’s hovering over you, he kisses you again.
his body lowers onto yours, chest pressing to your tits, hips settling between your spread thighs. you’re into the kiss too, lips sucking, little moans coming from his throat into your mouth and neck. your body is reacting to him even while your brain is calling him every name in the book.
he bites your bottom lip, then soothes it with his tongue, then presses lots of fast little smooches on your mouth before kissing it lovingly. fuck his ass where did he learn that from.
he wants to feel your nipples harden right in his palm, only fantasizes about it for now, though. for some reason he doesn’t have any sense of urgency when it comes to sex.
even though he’s so hard it has to hurt.
his hands go down, gripping your ass, really having a grip on you to pull you up to his hips, to his cock so he can grind into you. he uses you. his breathing is ragged, little moans slipping out between kisses, he can’t hold them back.
he wants you so bad. he wants to be inside you. he wants to hear your noises.
you tug his hair. he groans, hips stopping, smiling into the kiss.
but he’s hard and impatient, doesn’t want to waste precious seconds he could be using to get you naked. his hands are moving down to your shirt, fingers fumbling with the buttons. he yanks at the fabric, pops a couple buttons in his rush, fighting the material off your shoulders, it’s keeping him from what he wants. he’s actually violent.
you help him a little, shrugging it off.
then he’s at your bra, unhooks it(needs both hands, the baby) pulls it down your arms, and when your tits are out, bare and heavy in your boss’s room, his eyes actually change. you watch his reaction, how he smacks his mouth a tiny tiny bit, how his eyebrows drop, how unclear his pretty eyes are. he stares like he’s never seen tits before, and he’s seen lots.
he fights himself up in a comfortable position to grope your tits. squeezes, hard, enjoys how his palms are full of flesh, whining a little at how your nipples do harden in the middles of his palms.
he’s rough. not cruel on purpose, just so fucking eager and horny that he doesn’t notice how hard he’s handling you. his fingers dig in, kneading, pulling, pushing your tits together. it hurts, but you’re here for work anyway. this is your job(def not).
his hands can barely leave your tits so that he can go down and undo, yank your pants down your hips with rough tugs, dragging your panties with them. just pulls, forces until they’re off your legs. and then he reaches down and tugs your socks off too, one by one, tossing them somewhere behind him.
“better.” he mutters.
so you’re naked now. completely. lying on his bed with your legs slightly spread while he kneels between them, still fully dressed, staring at your pussy.
he looks like someone ripped his hair and yanked his head around.
he grabs your thighs and yanks them apart so hard your hips lift off the bed for a second. leans down, spits on your pussy, then buries his face in it. shakes his head around like a dog with a toy. no focus on making you feel good, just rubs his whole face in your wetness, tongue flapping around in you, nose grinding against your clit, lips sucking randomly at your folds.
he thinks it feels good for you. it doesn’t. it’s just overwhelming, too much pressure in random places, his tongue missing your clit more than it hits it.
but you moan anyway, soft, sweet, because that’s what he needs right now. you’re here to help. you’re here to let him feel like a man.
after about a minute he pulls back, breathing hard, lips shiny with you. he looks fucking wild again like he has fucking rabies, then… goes soft again. not gentle exactly, but charming. he crawls up your body, hovering over you, and kisses you.
“you’re so pretty like this.” he murmurs into your mouth, hand sliding down to cup your pussy again, now his fingers slipping through the wet mess left there. “you missed this too, didn’t you? missed me.” he’s nice because he wants to be nice, this is on purpose. “c’mon, look.”
that look was for how he helps you move, gentle???, pulling you up, you’re fucking speechless, guiding you onto your knees, pulling your ass up to him.
he runs his hands over your back, down the curve of your spine, then grips your ass and spreads you open, staring, looking around, getting to know you there.
you arch your back a little more, pushing your ass toward him, letting him look. if you’re here, might as well go along with it.
hyunjin moans behind you, hands spreading you wider, deciding where to start.
shit. you’re really letting this prick hit.
“hm? no condom?” he asks, his eyes all up in your pussy.
“condom.”
he sighs. “seriously?”
“yes, seriously.”
he makes an annoyed little sound but obeys. slaps your ass once, hard, childish, then climbs off the bed.
you stay on your knees, ass up, listening to him rummage through one of his drawers, slap shit around.
“where the fuck did i put them…” he mutters, opening and closing drawers. “i swear i had some right here.”
you turn your head, cheek on the sheets, watching him. he’s so pretty.
“check the that drawer again. no, that one. the top one. you probably threw them in there since didn’t need it jerking off last night.”
hyunjin snorts, digging. “shut up. i don’t jerk off that much.”
“sure you don’t.”
he finds the box finally, shakes it triumphantly. “got them. see? i’m prepared.”
“woow.” in the flattest voice ever.
he laughs, walking back to the bed. on the way he reaches out and caresses your ass with one hand. and that’s not even about the it’s not about you mindset, he genuinely just wanted to do that for you. he finds you sweet, after all. you gained his respect and his liking towards you.
he climbs back on the bed, yanks his shirt over his head in with one hand, tossing it somewhere. his pants and underwear next, shoved down his thighs and kicked off. the socks stay on.
he pumps his cock once, twice, slow, genuinely just lazy, just again no sense of urgency, watching your ass. then he tears open the condom packet and rolls it on, giving it a few strokes too.
“happy now?” he asks with fake annoyance as he settles behind you again.
“ecstatic.”
he laughs and slaps your ass again. “good.”
he lines himself up, pretty head pressing into your entrance, fucks the tip only in two or three times, then pushes in slowly.
bottoms out with a long, satisfied moan, putting his hands on your love handles. there we go.
he’s skinny but longer than you remembered from your mouth. makes your eyes shut and your mouth fall open in a little o. he feels better than he did in your throat. deeper. fuller.
you moan. he’s good, feels good.
what is hyunjin if not an impatient little bitch though, he adjusts his grip on your hips and starts fucking you.
“that’s it.” he mutters, clapping his hips with yours.
you two are, even if not always seriously, half the time kinda just playfully, but always at each other’s throats. yet the second he’s inside you, your bodies just work. he fits. the angle is perfect. the way he moves feels so good, you’re getting fucking goosebumps.
his hips snaps to your ass, his pretty cock dragging in and out of you, rough, uncontrolled. hits so good but it’s all about his pleasure. everytime he bottoms out you feel his smooth balls slap your clit. he’s so deep it almost hurts, makes your eyes roll back.
you’re moaning. actually moaning. not the ones you give the others to stroke their egos, this dumb fuck’s cock actually makes you act like this. you’re drooling a little, that’s how good it feels.
hyunjin is too focused to give more sounds that his loud breathing and little moans tome to time. just chasing his own pleasure.
“fuuuuck. mhm, mhm, yeah.” okay hyunjin.
his hips go harder, faster, the sound of skin on skin getting louder, snappier. you’re moaning into his sheets, pussy fluttering around his long cock. it missed him too. the chemistry is insane between you two, disgustingly.
his low, breathy groans turn into these pretty whimpers slowly. soft little “ah— ahh—” everytime he bottoms out. he feels so good, you make him feel so good.
it’s so fucking animal. hyune’s back is straight as a rod, shoulders rolled back, head fallen forward so his messy hair hangs in his eyes. he uses your handles to handle and pull you back onto his cock with every brutal thrust. selfish, grunting, a man.
the sound of his hips slapping on your ass fills the room. rhythmic, obscene, is the right word. porn like.
you’re melting away. your face is pressed into his sheets, mouth open, eyes unfocused at how he slams his pretty cock into you over and over. you feel just as good as he does, makes your spine give up and fall into his hands better, melt with hyunjin.
heavenly sounds come from hyunjin. groans, breathy whimpers, little gasps, moans. he’s so bitchy and pretty and almost vulnerable. he’s letting himself feel how good you are.
he feels like the fucking king. hwang hyunjin, the visual, the untouchable pretty boy, the one everyone wants but no one really gets close to, balls deep in his own assistant. his employee. the powerimbalance is hitting every single button he has. you’re beneath him in the hierarchy. you work for him. and you’re letting him fuck you the middle of the day because he asked.
it makes him feel better. it makes him feel desired, not how the cameras or fans or fans do, because that’s all fake, and this is real. human in human. sex.
and you just calmed him down. hyunjin is calm. you, just again, made an idol forget about his soul crushing problems.
you, just again, are the best.
he adjust his grip your hips, pulls you back onto his cock with every thrust, watching how your ass ripples, how your pussy slips around his length, how you’re dripping for him. his ego is swelling bigger than his dick. it’s toxic. it’s ugly. it’s human nature. it’s exactly what he needs to feel like a man instead of just a pretty face.
he speeds up. fast. selfish. his hips snap against your ass with wet slaps. he loves to listen to it, to chase it, your pussy, the way you flutter and squeeze around him, the way your moans get higher and breathier.
his cock feels amazing inside you. reached deep, hitting such good spots. your eyes are rolling back you’re so glad you took this job.
he’s leaking so much into the condom it might just pop. but would that be so bad? yours and his genes together into some deadbeat asshole baby? why not, actually.
his sounds are fucking heavenly. now all his little sounds are moans, not anything else. that pretty voice of his, what he can do almost everything with, now is just animal noises as he fucks you, fills you. it tells you without words how good you feel, how he never wants to stop.
your arms are shaking, barely holding you up. your mouth is open, drooling onto his sheets, soft desperate moans coming from it.
you’re not even trying to perform anymore like you did with all of them until now, you’re just taking it. that’s what you’re good for.
here, with you, he doesn’t have to be perfect. he can be mean. he can be selfish. he can be desperate and loud and pathetic and you still let him.
he gives all of his into fucking you. like he would go faster but he can’t. it’s physically impossible, his hips are pounding to your ass, cock dragging perfectly along your walls, balls slapping on your skin, his endlessly skilled hands pulling you back(fuck it feels so good) to get the most of you he can.
his body is saying everything for him.
and neither of you has any fucking clue that while hyunjin is lost in the feeling of you, head fallen forward, back now hunched a bit, and you’re you’re melting into the mattress as this animal fucks you, the front door clicks open.
keys jingle. shoes get kicked off.
changbin steps inside.
he stops. are those… your shoes? right next to the door. and… your bag? the fuck?
he listens. hears the moaning. hyunjin’s, mostly, but yours too. softer. the unmistakable sound of someone getting fucked.
oh how your voice makes his tummy flip.
he stands there. mouth slightly open. face going through about fifteen emotions in three seconds.
…fuck’s sake.
hyunjin doesn’t hear a thing. he’s too deep in his own head, to deep in you.
he locks up. his hips stutter as he tries to instinctively pump his cum into you, up, up, up, but the condom stops that from happening.
“ahh, fuck— yeah! ahh…”
he buries himself deep one last time and stays there. he’s satisfied, relieved, the weeks of frustration are finally draining out of him.
he gives your ass one hard slap, mutters a “fuck yeah” then pulls out.
just like that.
he peels the condom off, ties it, gets up, throws it in some trash, then starts pulling his clothes back on.
no aftercare, mind you.
you’re still on your knees, ass up, pussy throbbing and aching and empty.
you were close. actually close.
you sigh, so tired, and start dressing too. whatever. you’re not about to touch yourself in hyunjin’s room. not today.
“thanks.” he says. “needed that.”
“hm.” you button your shirt, fix your hair in the mirror. your pussy is still wet and just soooo frustrated, clit throbbing, but you shove it down. professional. always professional.
hyunjin pulls his hoodie back on, his boner had gone down too, and gives you one last look. “bye.” with a little wave.
fuck’s sake. this dickhead. you mutter a bye out too, then leave. get your shoes, your bag, no idea that binnie came home since thqt.
a couple minutes pass.
hyunjin sighs, does that dipshit thing men do where they slap both of their thighs before standing up and acting like it’s hard, then walks into the kitchen, opens the fridge, and grabs one of his fuckass little straw drinks. imagine some overpriced vitamin water with a bright pink straw. really the cherry on top. he stabs the straw in, takes a sip, and closes the fridge door.
then changbin walks in.
silence.
changbin stops in the doorway. hyunjin stops midsip. their eyes meet.
they both know. changbin knows hyunjin just fucked you in the room right down the hall. hyunjin knows changbin knows. changbin knows hyunjin knows that changbin knows.
hyunjin raises both eyebrows slowly, then walks to changbin, but really just to walk past him. while walking past, hyunjin claps bin on the shoulder lighty, still loudly sipping his stupid little drink through the stupid little straw with a sluuuuuurp.
changbin stands there, staring in front of himself.
hyunjin walks into his room, orgasm achieved, shared assistant cracked, dresses up, gets his shit, then leaves. goes back to work.
you both do. fucking professionalism at its finest. you’re an expert at acting like you weren’t bent over hyunjin’s bed getting your soul fucked out less than an hour ago. hyunjin is fresh and glowing and annoying as ever, waving at everyone. oh bitch please.
but he doesn’t even glance at you more than normal. professionalism. you appreciate that.
when he needs water he says “y/n” in the exact same tone as always. when you hand it to him he takes it with a “thanks” and nothing more. it’s impressive how well both of you are acting.
so good that the others don’t suspect a thing. well, you didn’t notice them do, but maybe mainly because jeongin was following you around.
you catch hyunjin’s eye once across the practice room. he raises one eyebrow, then looks away like nothing happened. you go back to giving the others things. wipe minho’s sweat with a towel yourself.
the next day he already tells the others about it. during some break in one of the smaller practice rooms, while everyone’s sprawled on the floor drinking water and whatever they have to, hyunjin sitting against the wall, jeongin on his phone, han lying on his back staring at the ceiling and deep in his sad little thoughts, felix scrolling, he has a double chin it’s so adorable and hot, changbin is texting a friend, chan is staring in front of himself, so does minho but he’s drinking water while at it, and seungmin is also texting someone.
“oh yeah, by the way. yesterday afternoon me and y/n fucked.”
…
why is he an animal?
okay anyways han sits up with a “really?!”
jeongin’s head snaps up from his phone, the exact expression like from that clip where the others were saying peaches and he heard bitches or for whatever reason he acted like that then. “what?”
felix smiles ear to ear. “how?” which is their way of saying details, dude.
oh hyunjin loves this. mentally giggling and kicking his feet around. “from the back. i was like, invited her over, and she was immediately down for it—“ no you weren’t, you told him a hundred times that you two are busy. “—and i had her on all fours on my bed. y’know, i wrapped it up, she was moaning like crazy. it felt so good. it was—“ he leans forward, it pretty cute because all eight do with him, while he whispers “tight. she was tight. we fucked for like… an hour.” ten minutes max, hyune.
changbin is… staring at the floor, smiling. chan has his mouth open(he’s not upset about hyunjin fucking you. for some reason??). minho gives “mhm”s from time to time. seungmin audibly giggles. felix is leaning forward still, mouth open, smiling too. jeongin feels… something bad, or maybe good?, in his stomach, chest. han is staring with such huge eyes.
“i had her back arched so nice. she was moaning like ahh ahh—“ why is he fucking hilarious “—best fuck i’ve had in months. maybe ever.” he puts his hands up, then slaps them down on his thigh.
and the congratulations he gets. shoving, laughing, asking about details, slapping on him. why are men like this?
the thing is, only you actually (kinda) dislike hyunjin. only you hated him. he never hated you. he just looked down on you.
all of them did, at the beginning, we know that. they saw you as useful, sure, but not as a full person. not as a woman with her own thoughts and feelings and desires. you were convenient. reliable. there. as we clearly fucking know, hyunjin especially treated you like that.
it felt like hate to you because it was dismissive and mean. but to him it was just… normal. that’s what you deserved as a pretty female staff member. you weren’t on his level.
now he’s starting to actually perceive you. somewhere between the first blowjob and yesterday, he kinda got that you’re not just a warm hole, you’re a person. a woman. you’re funny. nice to be around.
and hyunjin is really sensitive. and like, he kinda knows that you saw the worst of him (the tantrums, the mean shit he threw at your head that he still very much thinks about) and you still let him fuck you. you still let him be a man.
he’s starting to like you. not just want you, like you. he especially really likes that you don’t beg for his attention but still give him yours. that you’re confident and in control. it turns him on.
he’s starting to see you as good company.
also, someone whose presence doesn’t drain him.
he’s starting to like you.
okay yeah, we talked a lot about jeongin following you and being on your dick metaphorically and sometimes literally trying to be, but how does that actually look like?
it looks like 10am, when you’re refilling the bottles of the boys who use bottles when jeongin stands next to you.
“hi y/n.”
“hi. you need something?”
“mmmm not really. no.”
you sigh, shove his bottle into his hand. “here. drink.”
“thanks.” manages to drink with two hands on the bottle. you watch the whole thing.
point of this was, he came to you with no idea what he wanted. no point of that conversation.
or you’re walking down the hallway carrying towels for the boys and jeongin fucking appears out of fucking nowhere, matching your pace.
“hey y/n.” he says, happy to see you. he glances left and right quickly, checking for staff, then steps a tiny bit closer. “you need help with those? they look heavy.” he tries to look manly.
“i’m good, thanks though.”
he nods, walks beside you, hands in his hoodie pocket, sneaking little looks at your face. his cheeks are pink.
then he tilts his head. left, right. pokes his mouth to the side. “you’ve been running around all day, don’t you get tired?” (that’s such a basic thing to say, well yes it is, it’s because he couldn’t think of anything better to say. just made the fastest small talk that came into his mind. we appreciate his effort though, keep it up, innie)
“sometimes. but it’s fine.”
he hums, then does that thing where he “accidentally” lets the back of his hand brush yours. he pulls it away fast when he hears footsteps ahead, every little touch, every minute of your attention feeds that new addiction in him.
the others are starting to get visibly irritated.
another time, during a long waiting period, you’re sitting on a couch, ordering something for seungmin because he shoved his card into your hand and asked you to do it(let’s not even talk about how much he trust you to give you his money like that) and jeongin sits down next to you. he looks around first, making sure noone is paying attention, then relaxes a little.
“long day, huh?” he says, again just having no idea what to say but really wanting to talk to you.
“yeah. you holding up okay?”
he shrugs. “better now.” okay flirt.
“i’m glad.” you’re not being dry on purpose, just staying professional.
by the way, you always being this calm and neutral towards them turns them on so much. makes you so hot in their eyes.
he nods, then sneaks his hand between you two on the couch, letting his pinky brush yours. it’s such a small touch but it’s rebellious for his career.
when someone walks past he pulls his hand back instantly, acting like he was just stretching. waits for your reaction. you, to not leave him hanging, raise your brows at him, and that’s it. oh he got what he wanted. well, what he really wants is probably a handy but he’s also satisfied with any microreaction.
or you’re waiting for the elevator and fuck’s sake jeongin walks up next to you, checking the hallway both ways before stepping closer.
“hey. you heading out soon?” he asks.
“yeah, after i drop these papers off.”
he nods, then after making sure the coast is clear, stands against the wall next to the elevator. “cool. um… i was thinking. maybe next time you come over we could watch something? not like… not like a date or anything. just… hang out.”
“mm, i’m not sure. not a no, just, y’know, i’m busy too.”
“okay. just thought i’d ask.” he mumbles, looking away, so trying to look nonchalant. “anyways, you sleep okay last night? you look… good. rested, i mean.” this asshole. insert that video back from years ago when the whole crowd slapped on their foreheads. (this)
“i slept fine. you?”
“yeah! i mean, kinda. kept thinking about… stuff. but it was good stuff.” he smiles shyly, then catches himself and looks around. you want to kick him he’s that pathetic.
he genuinely really just wants to have a good relationship with you now. wants you to like him.
“talk to you later?” he asks, hopeful.
“yeah, later.”
you’re so glad he didn’t go into the elevator with you, then there would be hellevator. just watch him go back to the others, stealing one last glance over his shoulder. you want to slap his head back forward.
this dumb bitch is going to get you fired one day. why is he like this? why are they all like this? you sucked his dick once and now he thinks you’re married. fucking dipshit.
and… jeongin doesn’t consciously think “y/n is my girlfriend.” but his instict is treating you like one, he’s treating you like one. you’re the person he wants to show off for, flexing his biceps because oh girls like that, telling you about his day, trying to look cool, the person he gets excited to see. and being near you makes the constant pressure, the fear of not being good enough, the loneliness in his head disappear for a bit.
which would be so much easier if seungmin wouldn’t have developed a habit, very bold habit of letting his hand find your ass whenever he thinks he can get away with it.
???
it happens multiple times a day now. during breaks, in hallways, when you’re handing him something, he’d feel up a palmful of you, appreciating it, or slapping it, then acts like nothing happened. like oh that wasn’t him. did anything even happen? you okay y/n?
creep.
ooookay you’re not even mad anymore. you’ve accepted it, lowkey workplace harassment but you consent.
and like… you do have a great ass.
he wants to fuck it. he wants to eat it. he wants to slap it red and watch it jiggle while he rails you from behind. he wants to cum on it, watch it drip down between your cheeks, then push it back inside with his fingers or cock or wait do you have toys? okay he’ll explore that fantasy later. he wants to make you sit on his face, smother him with it while he eats you from behind. he wants to leave marks on it, handprints, bite marks, the imprint of his hips. he wants to watch it bounce while you ride him reverse cowgirl. he wants to use it, squeezing and spreading and slapping whenever he feels like it. he’s obsessed with the way it moves when you walk. the way it looks when you bend over. the way it feels in his hand, perfect to grip. once he was actually close to nutting hands free just from imagining burying his face between your cheeks and motorboating them while you moan.
sometimes, when he thinks noone’s looking, he adjusts himself in his pants just because he looked at your back side.
fucking men and their ass fixation.
fucking men and their skills. their abilities. what they learned, how to use their eyes on you. they learned it from years of fanmeets, stages, cameras, they’ve been trained for years how to look at fans, the “i’m looking at you but only you” stare.
now they want you to feel what their fans feel.
once with felix you were handing him a new shirt he asked for from his bag(again, trust that he just lets you dig around in there, but the seungmin letting you have basically all his money in your hand is still bigger) when he(still talking about felix) grabbed both of your hands, exactly like he does with fans at fanmeets and looked up at you with the most angelic, charming eyes, thumbs stroking the backs of your hands.
“thank you so much.” he said, smiling that practiced heartfluttering smile, voice soft and intimate like you were the only girl in the universe. “you always take such good care of me.”
you almost laughed in his face.
you immediately go it that he was using his fan service technique on you. the same one he uses on every other person. it didn’t affect you.
“felix, i’m not buying lightsticks.”
he realized what he was doing, yes he wasn’t conscious that he slipped, so he didn’t even want to, then he dropped your hands and laughed awkwardly, muttered out a “force of habit.”
if you were anyone else, he would have started to explain himself with the speed of light. but with you he knows he doesn’t need to. that’s pretty sweet, after all.
this also happened with minho. he, also did it on accident. he was tired. really tired. not the tired that he was about to fall out his chair, just slow in the head.
you handed him water and suddenly he gave you the biggest, shiniest, most angelic smile you’ve ever seen. eyes sparkling, head tilted, voice so forced “thank you so much, y/n~ you’re always so kind.” he caught himself. the smile dropped instantly. he looked at you. you looked at him. he mumbled “…never mind. sorry.” even he looked slightly disturbed by it.
they’re all trained manipulators. years of it. they know exactly how to use their eyes, their voices, their bodies to make people feel things. and now they’re using it on you, constantly. little looks. their angelic voices. touches. little head tilts with biiiiiig eyes when they want you to feel special.
they want you to want them. they want you to choose them. it’s unconscious at this point. survival instinct and genuine longing both in the soup.
this annoys you, kinda. but you can deal with it. it’s your job, after all, this is what got you that payment raise. and oh it’s also your job to having to listen to how loud they always are.
not just yelling your name when they need something, they’re fucking hootin and hollerin around and scream at each other and laugh like fucking animals and wrestle on the floor.
but they also can be cute. okay, there, you admitted it, but it was sweet seeing hyunjin and jeongin lying on the floor together, just kind of cuddling. didn’t these bitches exclusively complain about physical touch? okay fuck cares men are weird. they do this. they need the physical comfort. they just don’t call it that.
(afterwards they pushed each other away and “dude you’re annoying—“ “bro leave me alone—“ “ew—“ “get off me—“)
another time you were talking with chan who was sitting in a spinning chair, han in his lap. he had his arms around chan’s neck, chin on chan’s shoulder, eyes closed.
“you made sure they sent the updated ones, right?” chan’s saying to you about some business bullshit.
you nod. “yes. i double checked this morning. uh, they also confirmed the fitting time. they can do thursday. you’re fine.”
you like how serious chan is now. like yes daddy be that serious while spanking me. “okay. bin won’t be in until the afternoon on friday, can you—“
“yeah, i’ll call them right now.” oh you know your shit.
chan nods, satisfied. like so satisfied. only another blowjob could satisfy him more than this. his hand rubs han’s back. “thanks, y/n.“
horrible little hoes.
and they know they’re horrible. if one of them was a girl, they literally wouldn’t date each other. they know too much of the others, too many sides seen. too much ego. they accept it. they love each other but if they had daughters then they wouldn’t let the others date her. in general they’d sooner kill the other than let them close to any family member of theirs romantically, that’s how much they know of each other and how conscious they are that they’re not ethically good people.
hyunjin’s prick ass(but at least he can pay the bills) is their the pick to keep away from any female in their lives. anyways, he’s better now. like, his general mental health. it’s still pretty shitty, but better. you helped a lot. his balls feel lighter, his shoulders feel looser, because someone finally drained the constant panic and pressure out of his nervous system.
he feels powerful. validated. like he finally got what was “his.” but really he’s just really softening up. he’s starting to see how gentle you treat him, how much you take from him, that actually feels good for him. it’s such a good feeling that you basically accept him this much. hm, he should go find you now too.
bad side of this, is that he’s sensitive as fuck now. everytime he sees you his body reacts, and that’s only natural, that’s the right thing happening here, but still, it’s not always pleasant having his cock twitching and his chest feeling tight and beating.
him and changbin have talked about this, actually. shared their feelings. and they can… relate to each other.
changbin specifically is really in his head, really proud of what he got from you. like he can’t stop thinking about your warm mouth, the way you looked up at him while sucking him, how you treated him.
he wakes up hard in the morning just because you’re in his mind so much nowadays. he has to jerk off in the shower just to function.
men jerking off omfg hottest thing ever. binnie is the hottest thing ever. all eight are the hottest things ever and you know it and you feel so good about your position.
but it’s not just physical, emotionally he feels cared for. you’re a great woman. you’re healing old wounds(he didn’t even know were still bleeding, and still doesn’t know).
he wants your mouth again. he wants your hands. he wants to bury his face between your legs and make you feel even half as good as you made him feel.
…is this a crush we see developing, changbin??
anyways, we’ll get back to the developing crush topic, but we need to talk about jeongin too. jeongin, who wants to be near you all the time.
he wants to show you things. he wants to make you laugh. he wants to you to notice how strong he is.
because this is consistent, kind female attention. fans scream for him but they don’t know him. you do. you let him inside you. you were so accepting and nice. it was such a good sexual experience.
his brain takes you as “someone who wants me for real.” but so decides to forget about the fact that you didn’t like, kiss him at all. asshole. but anyways he’s living in the fantasy that you might actually like him back.
and okay, shit, it’s… nice. really nice. having someone this rich and famous want to spend time with you, touch you, let you touch him. you like this situation too, if you ignore that you can barely go pee without him wanting to watch you do it. (it’s a hilarious fucking picture omfg imagine you just WANTING to pee and this fuckass standing in the stall with you and staring down at you wordlessly. maybe tapping his two hands on his thighs. this fucking dipshit oh how we love him)
then chan… well, chan feels… a lot.
he finds you beautiful.
not just hot, beautiful. makes his chest feel tight, dare i say, makes him lose his breath. he sees worth in you, he begins to. he sees someone who could stand next to him. he wishes he could fuck you without feeling like his heart is trying to climb out of his chest.
he’s not mad or jealous or any other similar negative feeling at jeongin or changbin or hyunjin, after all. it comes off as that at first but it always fades, because he’s just… sad. that gives a negative start to everything, the main in him is sad. sad that he complicated it. sad that he made it heavy. sad that you had to be the mature one and stop him.
he wants you again. bad. he wants you the way jeongin had you, the way the kid told the story made it such a fantasy, and he also wants you the way hyunjin had you because c’mon chan is born for doggystyle.
and also, he wants to hold you after. he wants to be the one you choose when you’re tired.
that’s also a fantasy of his, maybe he could be your stress relief. reverse the situation what you two were in, he could be between your legs and he could take all this stress off your shoulders. doesn’t that sound nice?
it does, to him. like drooling nice. like he actually had to catch the drool slipping out of his mouth once when he was in his head about this particular scenario. it got on his shirt. fuck.
but he’s getting better with time. the tension, having to throw up in his stomach is loosening. he’s starting to realize and accept that you belong to all of them, kinda, and that will change in the future, and that’s okay. that this is your choice. he respects it. he respects you. there we go, from not even remembering the new little assistant’s name, to respect. or maybe a crush, even.
no, not a crush, please. he’s terrified of that.
but he can’t stop it. everytime he sees you he has to smile. every time you smile at him he feels like the best boy out of all of them. fuck, he can only hope you don’t prefer the others over him, like maybe felix. (all of them are afraid that your favorite is felix, that’s just so natural to come for everyone and everything they know, always felix)
he’s falling.
that’s the right word, chan is falling.
for his assistant.
for who you show to them, and for the version of you that only he got glimpses of. the one that helped him with more than just bringing him water. but he knows it’s not emotional for you. and he’s trying to be okay with that. but even if he never gets to have you the way he wants, you’ve already given him more than anyone else ever has.
it only took having his dick sucked twice. he overestimated his ability to stay unattached.
so, after all, all four of them are scared that they’re developing workplace crushes and they know how bad that is. this isn’t school, this isn’t pass a note in class, this is real life with real consequences. contracts. reputations. millions of fans. companies. a crush here isn’t cute. it’s just… danger to them, it could end careers, it could end yours, it could blow up the entire group.
but they can’t stop it.
they have, what? years of suppression? for sure. then also access to a new human connection, and constant stress, attractive and competent and sexually available woman. they’re latching onto you.
and those are just the ones who have fucked you.
the other four that haven’t, the other half of the group, they’re still thinking with their dicks.
okay, so do the other four you’ve already had. all of this is driven by their dicks. hyunjin’s liking towards you is platonic, he still just wants to put it in you again. jeongin? ever more. changbin acts like this because of what his dick received and chan is just difficult mentally. still, they want to dick you down.
anyways. the unfucked four spend their days how the fucked four also do, thinking about how your pussy would feel, how your mouth would look stretched around them, how your ass would jiggle when they fuck you from behind. difference is, one half already got these visuals. that doesn’t hold these men back though.
minho, to start with. he smiles at you nowadays without saying anything, once or twice. he’s nicer, now that you got to know him. but you’re kind of aware that he’s nice because wants to fuck your throat. that he gives the nice to get something.
but that’s okay, the fuck would he want a relationship for now, useless. and he got the alternative that doesn’t nag him on a hourly basis and he doesn’t have to take out on dates and put effort into, just gives him the care without him having to put anything into it. he’s so fine. (only if he knew what relationship awaits him)
han’s best effort on his own pathetic case is just talking to you. or when something’s funny then leaning on you to laugh, or hand on your shoulder and his forehead on that while laughing like it’s a joke. but it’s not a joke. he’s not okay inside. and on top of that he wants to fuck you so badly he can barely think. he wants to bury his face between your thighs and eat you. not just eat you out but eat you. he wants to hear you moan, wants to feel your nails digging into his back. he wants the release he knows you can give him, his assistant.
he needs you. he needs the comfort. he needs to feel wanted.
felix wants to feel what the others felt. he wants to know if you’d moan for him the way you moaned for hyunjin(at least how hyunjin described it, that’s why when felix is in his head about you he sometimes accidentally imagines you moaning in hyunjin’s voice??? and he doesn’t even realize) he just wants to bury his face between your tits and forget the world for ten minutes, c’mon y/n, give him that!
you were extra nice to him one afternoon, just a small thing, let’s say you got him a cold whatever drink without him asking. lix took the can, said “thanks”, then excused himself.
he walked to the bathroom, locked the door, pressed his back to it, and stood there breathing hard, hand on his chest, trying to calm his heart down. he squeezed his eyes together and remembered every second of the interaction. it was nothing. but to him it felt like everything. so that’s how much that little shit affected him.
he stood there for a solid two minutes just trying to breathe while his dick throbbed against his thigh. it was just so inconvenient.
he tried not to jerk off right there. he wanted you so bad in that moment it actually scared him a little. he wanted to push you against the wall, pull your pants down, and bury his face in your pussy until you couldn’t stand. like right there. but he couldn’t. so he just stood there, breathing through it, until his dick calmed down enough to go back out.
oh don’t misunderstand this is not a crush. he’s not in love or anything, he just wants your pussy so bad it’s making him act like this.
but seungmin, doesn’t make an effort to make a move on you. just touching you without a consent but no “no” said is okay to him. he likes just watching you too. acting like he’s not so up for pinning you to the wall and fucking you from behind while covering your mouth so no one would hear.
he just wants your body. wants to use you. wants to take what the others have already had. he’s patient but that’s gonna end once too.
objectification.
you’re letting them objectify you.
you… okay, you kinda like it. not in a “i have no self respect” way, more like… it’s hot. being wanted this badly by eight hot, famous, rich men who could have anyone but keep wanting you. you like being the one they all know. you’re so glad for this job.
and you objectify them back. unintentionally, but you do. especially chan. oh you two have a weird little dynamic, anyways, he’s so.. yes. he’s the man ever. dadaman.
and you catch yourself staring at his hands sometimes, imagining them spreading your ass again. you catch yourself getting horny, turned on just hearing him talk.
he’s hot. he’s so fucking hot it makes you want to rip your two arms off. (without you developing a crush!! so professional)
but this doesn’t mean he’s your favorite, you don’t have a favorite. you like them all the same. and you like their bodies. you like their voices. you like the way they are during sex.
but unlike them, you’re not just objectifying. you’re a woman. you’re not as traumatized as they are. you still have space in your head for empathy. you feel bad for them, really bad sometimes. you see how young they were, you see how they’ve been trained to act through anything, through pain, to perform through exhaustion, to never complain. you see the fear in their eyes when they think about what happens if they’re not perfect. you see how lonely they are, and it affects your easy little heart.
so yeah. you use their bodies and their neediness to feel good and powerful, but you also feel sorry for them. you see the scared little boys underneath the muscles and the acting, you see how much they’ve sacrificed, you see how badly they need someone to just… be soft with them. these men have ruined their lives.
that’s why you let them do this to you.
you’re not innocent, you’re not a victim, you’re a participant, you’re getting something out of this too, money, validation, power, pleasure, satisfaction, and you’re okay with that. you’re more than okay with it.
because you really like the boys, after all. maybe you like them for how traumatized, fucked up in the head they are, but you still do and it is what it is. they’re nice, just damaged.
but lately it’s been a lot of chan. still, no favorites, just it came like this. you’ve been spending big amounts of time with him. it’s a surprise that none of them ended with you choking on his beautiful cock but what’s late isn’t gone.
one night you were in the studio with him, just laptop time. you were about to get up and go home soon, but… not yet.
the others had gone home hours earlier. it was just you and chan, both on your laptops, legs tangled under the small table. now that’s adorable. he was muttering things under his breath, eyebrows knotted, it was so cute. you were fixing the schedule for next week, color coding shit!!
at one point he got up to stretch, arms over his head, shirt riding up, showing that luring v line and the trail of hair you knew led down to his thick cock. he caught you looking. smiled, a little bit. then sat back down. leg went back on yours.
that single interaction held more intimacy, more tension and romance and cheekiness than any form of sex you two ever had.
anyways, you like his company. you really do. he’s maybe the calmest when it’s just the two of you. he’s funny too, in his dry way.
he asks about your day sometimes. tells you shit about the boys. he’s trying.
of course he also likes the way your throat feels. you notice him staring at your mouth sometimes. you see the way his thighs tense, how he swallows when you lean over to point at something on his screen and your shirt gaps a little.
he remembers. he remembers how you looked on your knees. how you sounded gagging on him. how warm and wet and perfect your throat was.
sometimes when you’re both focused on work you’ll notice his breathing change for a second, that’s when he’s thinking about it. then he’ll clear his throat or drink some water and go back to work.
you don’t mind.
you like that tension too.
another night you’re both sitting on a couch in a smaller room, on your laptops. chan is editing something, chewing on that chewable lip a bit. you’re on about some calendar but cookie clicker is open under it.
he reaches for the burger you brought him earlier, unwraps it with one hand, fucking man, and inhales the whole thing in three massive bites. fucking caveman.
you look over. “you good?”
“mm.” he grunts, mouth still full. “stavving. thanks fo brinhing it.”
you hum, going back to your screen. a minute later you ask “can you pass me my charger?”
chan reaches over, unplugs his own charger and hands it to you. it was closer. newer iphone chargers nonetheless so doesn’t really matter. “here.”
“thanks.”
you both go back to typing. ten minutes later he asks you “what time do i need to come in tomorrow?” since something got put to another day.
“ten thirty.”
“fuck. okay.”
silence again. comfortable. you glance at him once. he’s focused, but seems relaxed. you two fit so good together, just please start dating, please. (exaggeration, neither of you are ready for that yet)
he catches you looking. “what?”
“nothing. you have a pen mark on your cheek.”
he rubs at it. “gone?”
“still there.”
he sighs, wipes harder. you go back to your laptop. neither of you says anything else for the next half hour. it’s nice.
you have seen this man naked, by the way.
another time you’re answering emails while chan leans back on the couch, groaning around.
you don’t stare. much.
“my back hurts.” he mutters.
“you did too many reps yesterday?”
“yeah.” he rolls his neck. “can you pass me that pillow behind you?”
you grab it and throw it at his face. he catches it, laughs, aw okay, stuffs it behind his lower back.
“better?”
“better.”
you both go back to work. ten minutes later he reaches over and takes one of your fries from the whatever you ordered.
and when he’s done with that he has the audacity to ask “you got any gum?”
but really he just knows you’ll give them anything anytime.
you pull a pack from your bag and hand him. he takes two, pops them in, then offers the pack back.
“thanks.”
“mhm.”
you sit there in comfortable silence. he chews loudly. you don’t mind.
he likes your company. you like his company too.
you’re getting close.
now. this time it’s the same setting we just lead up to, studio, late as fuck, laptops open.
“pass me the ketchup?” he asks.
you slide the little packet over without looking. he catches it, rips it open with his teeth, and squeezes it onto the last few whatever he asked you to order for him. he paid, of course, not out of being a gentleman, it’s just the company’s rules with employing you.
“mm.” why do men always have to hum when eating? “you talked to hyunjin lately?”
you look up. “a bit. why?”
chan shrugs, not looking at you because he can’t. “heard that you two… you know.”
you lean back. “he asked me that afternoon. said he’d leave the brand meeting early. i told him it was bad timing, but he kept pushing. you know how he gets. i went over. that’s… it.”
he kept pushing. chan doesn’t like that. he’ll talk to hyune later.
anyways, he likes that you tell him this. he likes that you’re honest, that you don’t hide it, that you treat him like he can handle it. it makes him feel trusted. smart.
he nods. “he seemed… lighter after.”
“good. that’s the point.”
another bit of silence.
“you okay with all of it?” he asks.
“yeah. i’m fine.”
he looks at you for a long time, then goes back to his screen. yikes, there goes your chance, chan. but yeah, he’s grateful you talk to him like this. really grateful.
you stand up to grab something from your bag on the table. you rummage for a second, when you turn back around, little notebook in your hand, chan is standing in front of you.
close.
the tension of you two’s arrives back into the room. did it ever leave?
his eyes are fixed on you. so much held back behind them, so much of him.
he’s so pretty. those huge lips, so full, those eyes when he doesn’t have makeup on. how he smells. how low, quiet his voice is when he opens his mouth to talk to you.
“i want to have sex too.”
author’s note: uh btw the end of this series is supposed to be real love w the guys… if u couldn’t tell. so the classic fall in real love bla bla bla, anyways these are really mean characterizations on purpose, does not mean i’m assuming anything of these men or how they act, because i and we do not know these men!! AND if anyone only reads all done boss of my content, i’ll tell u that i do my series w the first part of the titles being the same (my dear y/n series and now the all done) and the last part of them changed!! love y’all thank u for the amount of love i got on the first part of this<3
begging crying pleading crawling on my knees for the next part of all done boss 😭🙏🏽 I cannot express in words how good the first part was, please feed us more 🥺
aw tysm, okay i’m on it😭😭 i already started it and made SO much progress, so that’s gonna be the next thing i post. sooo look back after one or two weeks and you’ll have your all done boss part two<3
pairing: hero!husband!felix x fem!reader x platonic!ferret!hyunjin
genre: comedy, romance
summary: you, your husband felix, and his arch nemesis, hyunjin who got turned into a ferret, live together. pet care step one, do not trust him ever. inspired by colosso from the thundermans.
warnings: superhero au but not the cringe kind so literally no powers or anything mentioned, felix is a dick but not to reader, brutal amount of cursing like they talk disgusting, lots of dick talk because they’re men but not in the creepy way, the insult “ear rapist” said, constant disgusting threats, sexual content(not with the animal of course fuck no ew, ew ew ew, mentions of p in v, multiple positions, anal, no scenes actually written just mentions of these, just again it’s all with felix and not the animal), smoking, mentions of brutal violence in detail, reader is a sweetheart and hasn’t done any wrong, kinda just headcanons not an actual story
word count: 7k
you have been married to felix, your hero boyfriend(like actual hero, he saves lives), for about three years now and he’s perfect. actually like a good fucking person even though he’s famous and like random civilians try to sneak photos of you two on dates. saves the world and then comes home to give you love. the husband ever.
and felix, about one year ago turned his old arch nemesis hwang hyunjin, into a ferret. felix didn’t even mean for it to stick this long, something about the spell going weird because hyunjin was midmonologue about world domination or whatever, and never figured out how to turn him back. or maybe he did and just didn’t feel like it. hard to tell with felix sometimes.
so now hyunjin, as a little talking ferret, lives with you two. and god is he fucking annoying and still fucking evil. imagine this tiny, always angry, adorable white little ferret that keeps telling you to go fuck your mother.
and it’s such a shame because he used to be gorgeous. genuinely a sexy villain af. now he’s a foot long.
has the same voice he had when he was human, even. suits him.
you adore the little shit. can’t help it. he’s adorable. you even buy him those fuckass colorful tunnels and hide treats in them just to watch him seethe while he hunts them down because “i am not your entertainment, you brainless whore.” you even painted his tiny nails black once while he was napping and he spent three days trying to bite them off while screeching about how you’ve humiliated him for the last time.
and he genuinely, deeply, spiritually despises both you and felix. no joke here lad. if he had thumbs and access to a weapon you’d both be done for.
he misses his human form more than anything, but tbh he deserved death for what he did back when he was human. he genuinely made innocent’s lives hell, killed and tortured, he was like an actual evil man.
fucking karma ig but still not enough.
anyways. felix also hates hyunjin’s guts, just can’t take him seriously anymore. like he’ll flick hyunjin off the kitchen counter when he’s trying to sabotage dinner, or dangle him by the scruff or something. that little cumsock is nothing to him.
felix thinks the whole situation is peak comedy. hyunjin plotting world domination from inside a ferret cage? hilarious. hyunjin trying to chew through felix’s shoelaces as revenge? even better.
felix will tell him shit like “bro you used to be able to destroy buildings, now you’re throwing a tantrum because i won’t let you drink from the toilet. get a grip.”
just again, hyunjin hates both of you with the fire of a thousand suns.
he has never hated anyone more.
he wants you dead(even though you didn’t do shit, he just always hated easily, villain, duh). he wants felix skinned. he wants his old body back and your luxurious penthouse apartment burned to the ground.
he’s full of rage and so tiny.
felix will literally be like “hey.” and hyunjin will go on a five minute rant about how he’s going to end him, destroy everything he loves, claw his eyes out, etc.
and felix just. walks past him. maybe tosses him a treat.
every time you kiss felix in the kitchen hyunjin makes this choked gagging noise from wherever he’s placed(can’t get off countertops by himself), every time felix picks you up and spins you around(you two are genuinely the two in love ever), hyunjin takes the chance to rub his little ferret ass all over felix’s shoes while your man is entertained by you.
he still lets you scratch under his chin. wouldn’t let felix do it tho.
but when felix comes home, he doesn’t even think about hyunjin, literally couldn’t care less, but the little fucker is always up to something when you don’t pay attention(you’re lowk a stay at home wife). so if the ferret is on the counter trying to fuck over anything really, felix usually swipes him off, that’s about all the attention he gives him. or sometimes he kicks him, (and hyunjin never gets hurt at all???), and hyunjin goes tumbling across the rug.
“whoops.” felix says every single time. “slipped.”
you fucking love hyunjin though. especially on the long days when felix is out doing hero shit and it’s just you and hyunjin.
bitch the building has a private everything, there’s also an elevator in the apartment itself, so it’s a penthouse or what, rooftop pool, a kitchen bigger than most apartments, allat. so most days it’s you in oversized shirts and shorts and socks, sipping coffee, while this tiny white ferret runs around.
the sound of his little nails clicking and skittering everywhere makes you want to squeal.
you’ll be folding laundry on the couch and listen to him run past, doing that weird sideways run ferrets do, muttering curses under his breath the whole time like “fuck you and your hero dick” or some variation, lil nails on the floor.
clickclickclickclickclick
thud.
he ran into a table leg.
sometimes you’ll leave treats in weird places just to watch him hunt them down while pretending he’s above it. he always is above it, right up until his little nose starts twitching and he launches himself into a tunnel while he’s calculating exactly how many bites it would take to sever your jugular.
felix’s way of dealing with him is way less patient. he hates the guy.
take the time you three are in the living room and hyunjin starts his usual monologue about how he’s going to reclaim his empire once he’s human again, felix is scrolling on his phone, isn’t in the mood to look up at hyune, says “keep squeaking like that and i’ll neuter you myself. snip snip, little balls gone.”
hyunjin freezes midsentence, fur puffing up, and starts cursing in the most creative ways you’ve ever heard. stuff about felix’s mother, felix’s dick, felix’s entire bloodline being cursed with micropenises.
felix just smiles and moves his fingers like scissors. “snip snip.”
or you’re trying to watch a movie, hyunjin won’t stop yapping from the coffee table about how felix is a talentless whore and felix just wants to watch his movie so he tells hyunjin to “shut the fuck up or i’m using you as a condom. you’re about the right size and way tighter than you deserve.”
you giggle.
hyunjin lets out the most horrified high pitched scream you’ve ever heard and throws himself off the table in pure panic, only to get caught mid air by felix’s hand and thrown onto the big armchair. just to set him back a little.
hyunjin will respond by trying to claw felix’s face off for the rest of the night while screaming about revenge and how he’ll make felix eat his own testicles. felix just puts hyunjin in the empty fish tank “for timeout” and hyunjin spends the whole time throwing himself against the glass.
like there is no respect left in that man’s body when it comes to hyunjin.
and just again, that’s well deserved. hyunjin used to be a horrible person, no matter how beautiful he was.
or like you and felix will be on the couch, tangled up, him kissing down your neck, hands wandering, everything hot and in love and quiet and finally normal for like two seconds, and then from across the room from hyunjin’s cage: “this is disgusting.”
you both ignore him.
“you two are gross.”
nothing.
“i hope you choke.”
felix mumbles a “you’re about to have a worse day.” into your skin, and instead of, you know, taking you somewhere else like a normal human being? felix gets up, walks over to hyunjin’s cage, opens the cage. (which has multiple levels and furniture and even a hammock)
hyunjin is mid talk like “oh finally, you’ve come to your senses—”
gets grabbed.
felix walks away with him and drops him into the toilet. lid down.
comes back to you. sits down, pulls you back in. “sorry about that.”
you continue.
and there was that time in the kitchen. you’re up on the counter, felix stands between your legs, things getting heated, and hyunjin is loose, which is mistake number one.
you just hear the clickclickclick getting faster. closer.
felix doesn’t even let him speak, just picks him up, opens a cabinet, puts him inside, closes it.
“he’s gonna knock everything over.” you whisper.
“good. maybe he’ll season himself.”
or the absolute fucking wooooorst is when you’re tangled up with felix in bed. hyunjin is in his cage in the living room. door closed. locked. secure. felix is kissing you, slow, hot.
and then, right next to your ear: “…you forgot the top latch.”
you SCREAM.
felix flinches.
hyunjin is on the nightstand.
felix stares at him for a long second. then reaches over, grabs a pillow, and drops it on top of him. covers the little guy with it then puts the heavy ass lamp on the pillow too.
the pillow starts moving. hyunjin is fighting for his life under there.
“continue.” felix says to you, already pulling your face back to his.
muffled from under the pillow: “this is suffocating—”
felix presses the pillow down slightly. “quiet.”
and the shit you witness??? one time you’re just in the bathroom, brushing your teeth, door wide open and you hear felix in the hall go “don’t start.”
hyunjin immediately starts.
not even five seconds later, hyunjin flies past the doorway.
you freeze with the toothbrush in your mouth.
thunk. he hits the wall. then from the floor, in that little soft voice: “…i will kill you.”
another time felix got fed up with hyunjin’s nonstop squeaking rant about “the injustice of it all” and just vacuumed him up. you walked in to find felix calmly pushing the vacuum around while muffled cursing came from inside the vacuum.
“he’s fine.” felix said, patting the vacuum like it was a good dog.
you’ll be cooking dinner and hear felix in the other room threatening to turn hyunjin into a living butt plug if he doesn’t stop plotting, while hyunjin is screeching back that he hopes felix’s dick falls off.
the only thing that actually gets a reaction out of felix is when that white sock of hatred throws himself and clamps those tiny razor teeth right onto felix’s junk through his sweatpants. felix always yelps, doubles over, and spends the next five minutes swearing while hyunjin hangs there.
“you’re obsessed with my balls. it’s getting weird.” felix says, holding hyunjin up eye level after he finally got the lil mf off.
but then oh. you’re sitting on the couch scrolling on your phone when hyunjin comes out from under the dining table, nails clicking. because he felt like it, he jumps onto your lap, starts circling before settling down on your thighs. his tiny body curls up, SO cute that fluffy white tail twitching once before going still.
“i hate you, bitch.” he tells you. “i hate every inch of your stupid fucking face and your hero fucked cunt. when i get my real body back i’m gonna piss in your mouth while you sleep and laugh as you drown in it.”
you hum and stroke down his back with your nails.
he keeps going, muttering shit under his breath, how he’s gonna skull fuck your corpse, how he’ll turn your intestines into ropes he’ll tie prostitutes up with, but the whole time he’s burrowing his tiny ass body deeper into your lap. you feel too warm.
you scratch behind his ears and he lets out this little trill before catching himself and hissing a fuck you out one more time.
another afternoon you see him in the kitchen trying to drag himself up onto the counter where felix left half a bag of gummies. hyunjin’s got his front paws on the edge, back legs fucking around, grunting with effort as he tries to yank the bag down.
his evil little plan is that he’ll eat so much gummies that he’ll throw up. convince you he needs the vet, then escape from there.
you watch him as he eats gummy after gummy, cheeks puffed out, making the most determined evil faces while chewing. a little ferret btw.
after about fifteen of them he starts making these weird little gagging noises, body convulsing, looking like he’s about to hurl, but nothing comes up. he tries again, but his ferret stomach refuses to cooperate.
he still tries every few days, sniffing out chocolate, looking through the trash for things, once attempting to chug an entire energy drink he knocked over, but his little system never lets him actually get sick. he just ends up bloated and pissed off.
then there are the times when he’s being extra loud and evil, screeching from the top of the bookshelf or from inside one of his tunnels about how he’s going to castrate felix with a spoon and wear his balls as a necklace.
those days felix usually sighs, reaches up, and snatches hyunjin by the scruff. hyunjin immediately starts thrashing, tiny legs kicking, teeth snapping at the air. “don’t you fucking dare, you whore! put me down! i’ll bite your fucking eyes out!”
hyunjin hates being picked up more than anything. it makes him feel small and helpless and he loses his tiny fucking mind every single time. he’s more than this! he’s not a little pet, he’s the fucking hwang hyunjin and he’s powerful!
“yeah yeah sure whatever.” felix opens the cage and throws hyunjin inside. sometimes gives him a little extra flick on the ass on the way in, or you’ll lean down and blow a kiss while saying “night night, angry baby.”
hyunjin always throws himself against the bars immediately, rattling them, screeching “i’ll murder you both in your sleep, i’ll shit in your lungs, i’ll turn your assholes inside out and wear them as hats!”
the cage door clicks shut and he keeps going, promising graphic torture that involves your nipples, felix’s prostate, and several household appliances.
hyunjin is genuinely evil to his core. he wants you both suffering. he dreams of blood and fire and your screams every night. but he’s also stuck as this tiny sweetpea brutally cute little ferret who can’t do a damn thing when you two decide it’s cage time.
and god, you and felix are married. like so married. genuinely deeply in love.
which means, you fuck hard.
loud, messy kinda sex that leaves the sheets falling off the bed/ripped/soaked and the headboard banging against the wall. you two fucking go at it.
hyunjin hates every single second of it because ferrets have good hearing(he already had good hearing in his human body, now this body isn’t any better) he catches lots of moans, slap of skin, wet sounds even when he’s locked in the cage on the other side of the place.
then, he really does want to kill you two.
he’ll be curled up in his stupid luxury cage trying to plot world domination in his tiny evil brain when suddenly he hears you gasping felix’s name, that thud of the bedframe, the wet squelch of felix’s cock sliding in and out of your soaked cunt while he moans shit in your ear.
hyunjin starts screeching immediately, but oh, why would you two hear him?
he already hated other people having sex near him when he was a human. well, he still is one, just with another body. but still. ew. like shut up.
back in your room, felix fucks you harder, making the sounds even louder. missionary with your legs over his shoulders so he can pound deep, wet slap of balls on your ass. doggy while he grips your hips and rails you so hard the whole bed shakes, groaning around when you start squirting on him. reverse cowgirl so you’re bouncing on his cock, tits jiggling, ass clapping down loud enough that hyunjin starts banging his little head against the cage’s bars.
then felix flips you onto your back and hooks your ankles behind his neck, folding you in half with that brutal stamina of his so he can make his pretty cock poke your cervix, groaning “take it all, baby, gonna fill this greedy pussy till it’s dripping down your thighs.”
when you ride felix’s face and he eats you out like a fucking animal, tongue fucking into you while you grind on his mouth, the obscene moans felix, FELIX(so not even you only but he moans too, this man is brutal) lets out travel straight to hyunjin’s sensitive ears and he starts throwing himself on the cage bars screaming around.
and god forbid you two go for anal. the second felix works his cock into your tight ass, since that takes effort and the harder moans that come with it, those are louder.
hyunjin actually wants to die by the time felix groans when he pumps you full. luckily the walls are thick so hyunjin at least can’t hear the wet drip when felix pulls out and his load starts leaking from your used cunt or ass, or the lazy slap of his cock on your clit as he smears it around, but when you or felix start screaming or felix starts talking sum “take my cock, baby” god, hyunjin actually tried to hang himself once with the hammock in the cage.
and the two are constantly inventing new ways to fuck with each other.
felix will dangle hyunjin by the tail over the balcony just to watch him flail and scream death threats. also once tied a tiny bell around hyunjin’s neck while he was sleeping and hyunjin spent three days trying to chew it off, jingling everywhere. hyunjin got back at him by gnawing through the charger of felix’s favorite gaming headset. felix responded by putting hyunjin in the blender (lid off, of course) and spinning it on low just to watch the ferret tumble while hyunjin screamed “i’ll shove that blender up your ass and turn your prostate into smoothie!”
hyunjin once managed to knock an entire bottle of lube into felix’s lap as revenge for being kicked across the room. felix spent the next hour fucking you with extra slippery enthusiasm while loudly announcing “THANKS DUDE.” hyunjin nearly had an aneurysm listening to it.
they never stop. felix will flick hyunjin’s nose with a finger when he walks by, hard enough to make the ferret throw his little head around. hyunjin will wait until felix is asleep(and you’re not home!!) and then hump his forehead aggressively. felix once threatened to sew hyunjin’s mouth shut with fishing line if he didn’t stop squeaking around. hyunjin chewed holes in felix’s favorite armchair for that.
it’s important to take in notice that this is not an animal. this is an animal’s body but a man inside of it, an evil human being. has the iq and understanding of a normal human. none of the two boys do this shit with the acknowledgment of like this is animal cruelty or whatever. both are very aware that hyunjin is a human and it’s not an animal y’all are doing this to. felix doesn’t see hyunjin as a ferret at all, it’s just hyunjin’s looks, but when has felix cared about looks.
and listen, you know hyunjin hates you with every microscopic fiber of his evil little soul. every single day he mutters about how he’s gonna skull fuck your corpse and use your eye sockets as cum dumpsters once he’s back in his gorgeous villain body.
but.
he hates felix more. way more. like, nuclear levels more. the kind of hatred that makes his tiny ferret heart actually hurt when he looks at the hero. felix is a dick to him. felix ruined his existence.
so, felix first, you a distant but still very hated second.
sometimes felix is on one of his asshole days, chasing hyunjin around the penthouse with a rolled up magazine or something. hyunjin will run straight to you, tiny claws clicking, and worm his way up the inside of your sweatpants. crawls all the way up your thigh, until he’s tucked right between the warm crease where your leg meets your body. no, he does not care about being that close to something that intimate of yours, this man couldn’t care less. you’d assume he was asexual or something if he wasn’t always bragging about how he used to fuck and who when he was in his human body. so you just know he absolutely doesn’t see you that way. anyways, he stays there on you perfectly still, breathing fast on your skin.
felix comes in, magazine in hand. “babe, you seen the ferret? little shit tried to piss in my coffee again.”
you blink up at him with those big angel eyes. “no. haven’t seen him. maybe he’s hiding in the vents again.”
felix walks away muttering. the second he’s out of earshot, hyunjin lets out the world’s tiniest, shakiest sigh of relief on your thigh.
those are the only times he ever feels anything close to gratitude.
other times it’s just the two of you home.
felix is out doing hero shit or whatever, and you’re in the kitchen cooking something in your big wide pan on the stove.
hyunjin keeps trying to climb the side of it, tiny paws slipping on the metal, determined to hurl himself into the sizzling oil.
“baby, no.” you sigh, grabbing him mid climb before he burns his murder mittens off.
he starts thrashing. “unhand me! i’ll gut you!”
you drop him into the huge back pocket of your oversized sweatpants. he slides right in, ass first, until he’s all in there. he wriggles and curses, calling you every name in the villain dictionary, but the pocket is warm, soft from being on your body all day, and smells like you and laundry detergent. so within ten minutes the angry squeaking turns into grumpy muttering, then into sleepy little chitters, and eventually he just passes the fuck out. curled up in that biiiig back pocket, nose tucked under his tail, while you walk around the penthouse doing chores, cooking, texting, whatever.
you carry him like that for hours sometimes. he sleeps through you folding laundry, through you watching tv while you vacuum. every once in a while he’ll twitch in his sleep and mumble something like “fuck… felix… balls… blender…” but mostly he’s dead to the world, trusting your body heat and the gentle sway of your walking. trusting you to keep him safe in there.
when he finally wakes up he always acts like it never happened, immediately launching into a fresh rant about how he’s going to rip your uterus out with his teeth and knit a scarf with it.
he lets himself get soft with you from time to time.
but only with you.
because felix is an asshole.
because felix sometimes drops hyunjin into the sink and turn the faucet on full blast, holding him under the cold spray while hyunjjn screams and paddles. because felix is a disgusting person.
another time hyunjin manages to climb the curtains and drop directly onto felix’s head while he’s napping on the couch. he latches onto felix’s ear with his teeth and starts yanking. felix wakes up yelling, grabs hyunjin by the tail, and swings him around before throwing him across the room.
“nice try, ear rapist. next time i’m using you as a fleshlight. bet your tight little ferret asshole would stretch real nice.”
hyunjin comes running back, tiny body puffed up. “i’ll fuck your eye socket, man, i’ll—“
felix traps him under an upside down glass bowl on the coffee table for three hours, tapping on the glass every few minutes.
hyunjin throws himself against the glass with so much power that the bowl rattles, screeching promises of disembowelment and how he’s gonna wear felix’s intestines as a scarf.
you’ve seen felix threaten to microwave hyunjin for thirty seconds “just to warm him up” only for hyunjin to try to piss in felix’s protein powder for that. felix once tied a tiny leash around hyunjin’s middle and walked him around the penthouse while hyunjin screamed bloody murder and tried to bite his ankles to the bone.
they’re constantly inventing new ways to make each other miserable.
and felix is only a dick to hyunjin. reasonably, of course. to the rest of the world, he’s an angel. to you, he’s an angel.
that’s because he has never been in love like this before, ever.
you and felix are disgustingly, unbelievably, unswallowably in love. even after years together. you two are fucking unbearable. constantly touching. his hand on you anywhere you walk, your fingers tangled in his hair when you kiss, makeout sessions on the couch that turn into giggles because he keeps snorting into the kiss, and let’s not even talk about the nasty sex you two manage to pull off. money makes it all easier, ofc. private jets when you feel like it, designer anything and their cousins, the fact that your fucking penthouse has a rooftop pool. rooftop pool. r o o f t o p p o o l. felix spoils you rotten.
take this, it’s the afternoon. you’re outside on that rooftop, fuck, the image itself is a mental jerk off, sun on yours skin, the pool water sparkling, and felix is at the fancy built in grill flipping steaks or burgers or whatever rich people meat he decided on today, shirtless. this fucking dipshit of a man.
you’re stretched out on a lounger in a tiny bikini, sunglasses, sipping smth expensive and fruity. hyunjin is on a stupid little leash clipped to a sparkly pink collar you bought to piss his tiny ass off. he’s sitting next to your chair looking like he wants to commit mass murder with his teeth.
you hold out a piece of grilled meat between your fingers, still warm, to him. “c’mon, angry baby, open up. it’s good for you.“
hyunjin glares up at you with those tiny black eyes full of pure evil. “i would rather chew my own intestines out and strangle you with them than eat from your whore fingers.”
but his little stomach betrays him because he’s a ferret and food is food. he jumps forward, tiny sharp teeth grazing your skin as he takes the piece, chewing aggressively while muttering around it “fuck you… fuck this… fuck your perfect little life…”
you keep feeding him, stroking his head with one finger between pieces, and he lets you because what the fuck else is he gonna do, starve on principle? he hates it so much his whole body vibrates with rage.
meanwhile felix keeps glancing over from the grill with that biiig sunny grin. “looking good over there, babe. he eating good?”
you blow him a kiss and he pretends to catch it and slap it on his ass. hyunjin gags.
inside the penthouse it’s the same story everywhere hyunjin looks.
felix will come home from hero shit, scoop you up and spin you around while you laugh into his mouth. you’ll cook together in the (massive) kitchen, him sneaking up behind you to kiss your shoulder while you stir something, whispering shi like “can’t wait to bend you over this counter” or him reading on the couch with your head in his lap, playing with your hair. or you bringing him coffee exactly how he likes it and getting rewarded with that soft “thank you, baby” and a kiss on the forehead.
the place reeks of love.
hyunjin hates living in it.
back when he was human, tall and beautiful and terrifying, he spent years making everyone else’s lives hell because his own was a fucking void. no one loved him.
now he’s stuck in this little prison watching two idiots be genuinely good to each other every single day.
he hates it. he wants to vomit but just again he never fucking can.
it’s everything he never had and never let himself want, and it hurts, burns worse than any kick or threat from felix.
if you two will ever have kids then they’ll have the perfect life. two loving parents, money, and growing up with the knowledge that they’re wanted.
but instead of kids, right now it’s hyunjin who gets your baby treatment.
you keep buying him tiny sweaters, for an example. he hates them with a passion that could power cities. you’ll corner him after a bath (another thing he despises but secretly loves because warm water), wrap him in a towel and then wrestle one of the sweaters over his squirming body while he screeches “get this hideous shit off me you sadistic bitch! i am not your dress up doll! i used to command armies and now i look gay!”
he’s so cute you could die.
he’ll sulk in the corner wearing the sweater because he can’t get it off, muttering “when i’m human again i’m burning every single one of these in a pile made from your skin.”
oh, yeah, baths.
you love giving him baths.
you fill the big marble sink in the master bathroom with warm water, a tiny drop of fancy unscented baby shampoo and get a soft washcloth. oh you the parent ever. you strip down to just a tank top and panties so you don’t get soaked, then gently scoop the ferret out of whatever hiding spot he’s chosen that day. he immediately starts hissing and thrashing like you’re lowering him into acid.
you coo at him, lowering his tiny body into the warm water.
the second the heat gets to his skin he goes stiff, then slowly relaxes. little eyes almost close as you cup water over his back, letting it run through his fur. so gentle. you massage the shampoo in with your fingertips, scratching behind his ears, under his chin, along the little dip of his spine where he can’t reach. (much more gentle than felix would be. when it was felix’s turn to bathe the ferret for the first time he started it with throwing hyunjin into the bathtub from the other side of the bathroom, then yelled “trickshot!” first and last time you let him on bath duty. it’s always your job now.)
“there you go, baby. doesn’t that feel nice? all clean and warm. you’re such a good boy even when you’re plotting my gruesome death.”
he stays almost comfortable for a solid ten minutes, floating there, letting out these tiny happy noises.
that’s usually when felix wanders in, fresh from whatever hero bullshit or workout he was doing, shirtless and just having that rich aura around himself.
you two are actually the perfect match omfg.
he comes up behind you, wraps his arms around your waist, and starts pressing slow kisses along the side of your neck while you’re still holding hyunjin in the sink. you melt back into him, sighing happily.
felix glances down at the ferret and can’t resist. he reaches one finger out and pokes hyunjin right in the middle of his wet forehead, pushing his head under the water before letting him pop back up sputtering.
hyunjin goes crazy. water flies everywhere as he thrashes, screeching at the top of his lungs. “get your fucking hero hands away from me you ball sucking traitor! i’ll bite your finger off and shove it up your own ass!”
felix chuckles, so deep, so hot, still on your neck, one hand sliding down to squeeze your ass while the other keeps lightly poking at hyunjn’s side, making the ferret spin in the water.
you’re laughing, it’s beautiful, also tilting your head to give felix better access. “felix, stop tormenting him. he was being good.”
“he’s never good.” felix murmurs, sucking a light mark on you. “deserves every poke he gets.”
hyunjin is foaming at the mouth by then, half drowned and fully enraged, screaming about how he’s going to castrate felix with dental floss and use his balls as bath bombs.
oh he’s your baby. (mentally a 26 year old man who wants you dead)
he hates you both. hates the love dripping from every surface. hates how safe your stupid empathy makes him feel when felix is being a dick. hates the way he keeps crawling into your pants to hide, keeps falling asleep in your back pocket the baby, keeps eating from your hand even while cursing your entire bloodline.
sometimes chan comes over, felix’s old partner from way back. you like the guy a lot. always brings expensive shit when he visits.
hyunjin and chan have history though. some deep shit, but chan has a longing for justice so hard that he forgot all about it the second hyunjin started killing innocent people.
and he enjoys seeing his old buddy like this.
the first time he saw hyunjin after the transformation he laughed so hard he cried and laid down on the floor. ever since then he makes it his mission to torment the little shit every chance he gets.
so when hyunjin jumps at chan for bullying him and bites the tip of his finger, chan just starts spinning hyunjin around in circles. hyunjin js screeching at the top of his lungs the whole time while chan talks about sum “you’re much cuter this way”
hyunjin finally lets go and goes flying across the room, slamming into the wall with an outraged squeak. then immediately starts ranting about how he’s going to shove chan’s entire hand up felix’s ass and then light them both on fire.
chan just sucks the tiny bite mark on his finger. “still got that fight in you, huh? good. makes it more fun when i do this—” (typical shi chan would say, tf does be think he is. love him this way tho.) and then he flicks hyunjin’s tail hard enough to make the ferret spin in place from confusion.
hyunjin hates chan almost as much as he hates felix.
you, still give him all the love anyway.
after chan leaves you scoop the fucking fuming ferret up, press kisses to his little head, and rock him. you keep loving him even when the whole world (and especially felix and chan) keeps reminding him how small and useless he is now.
and deep down, he appreciates this. but even he doesn’t know that.
just again, felix loves you so fucking much. he’ll do anything to give you even five minutes of peace, including babysitting the tiny white ball of pure concentrated evil. his arch nemesis btw.
sometimes he picks hyunjin up, ignores the screaming and biting, and carries him off so you can take a bath, read, or just sit in silence for a while.
that’s how hyunjin ends up put down on the bathroom counter one random evening, while felix is showering. like he’s in there under the massive rainfall head(still you two are rich rich), water going down that unbelievably fucking perfect body while soaping up.
“enjoying the show, boy?” felix calls out as he rinses shampoo from his hair. “must be rough watching a real man wash his balls while you’ve got nothing but… that. pfftt.”
hyunjin’s entire body puffs up. “fuck you, you whore. hope the soap gets in your eyes and blinds you so i can finally gnaw your cock off while you scream. i used to have women on their knees for me and now i’m stuck staring at your flat hero ass. it’s ugly, by the way. ugly.”
felix laughs at him, turns around, presses his bare ass on the glass right in hyunjin’s face, wiggling it like the asshole he is. “kiss it better, short king. maybe if you’re good i’ll let you lick the water off later.”
hyunjin launches himself at the glass, falls the fuck down on the tile, keeps hitting the glass with his tiny nails and teeth while he shrieks every curse in existence.
felix finishes his shower whistling, dries off slow just to drag it out and fuck with hyunjin, then picks hyunjin up by the scruff and walks out, drops him in his cage.
that same night hyunjin decides on revenge. while you and felix are already tangled up in bed, he sneaks into the kitchen, finds the big box of cereal, climbs inside, and starts eating.
then he realizes he’s sunk too deep. the box is tall, the cereal is slippery, and his little legs can’t get anything to push himself on.
he’s stuck.
meanwhile in the bedroom you’re cuddled up to felix’s chest, one leg thrown over him, hand slowly stroking his cock while he groans(like specifically groans) into your mouth. slow, sweet handy under the sheets, his fingers buried in your hair as he kisses you lightly.
“fuck baby, just like that… love you so much.” he whispers into the kisses, hips gently going up into your fist.
hyunjin starts screeching at the top of his lungs. but you and felix are way too all up in each other to notice.
morning. you wake up first, walk into the kitchen in felix’s shirt. there’s cereal all over the floor and a suspicious white fluffy ass sticking out of the box.
you reach in, gently pull hyunjin free. he’s covered in cereal, fur sticky from the sugar, looking horrible.
“oh my god, baby, what did you do to yourself?” you coo, brushing cereal out of his fur.
“that fucking hero left the box open on purpose! this is attempted murder! i demand blood! i demand—”
you scoop him up to your chest and start cuddling him to death, pressing kisses all over his sticky little head, nuzzling his belly, rocking him like a baby while he thrashes around. why are you two fucking hilarious. “shhh, you’re okay. i’ve got you. such a brave boy trying to take on the cereal box all by himself.”
he keeps cursing between kisses to his head and belly, calling you every filthy name he can think of, but his body slowly goes limp, tiny heart rate calming as you carry him back to bed and tuck him between you and felix for morning cuddles.
felix cracks one eye open, sees the sugar covered ferret, snorts. “looks like someone had a rough night. good.”
hyunjin glares at him but doesn’t try to bite because your arms are warm and your love is relentless and he’s too exhausted to fight it right now.
and shit like this happens all the time. felix will “borrow” hyunjin for an hour so you can take a long bath in peace, only for you to come out and find the two of them in the living room, felix playing video games while hyunjin is duct taped to the coffee table because he tried to chew through smething. when asked about it, felix shrugs and says “he started it” while you peel the tape off and spend the next thirty minutes kissing hyunjin’s head and telling him he’s still the scariest villain you know.
oh, felix doesn’t mind the love you give hyunjin, by the way. he knows he’s irreplaceable, there’s not one drop of insecurity in this man’s dickhead body. no reason to feel any bad.
or felix takes hyunjin to the gym with him (in a carrier) so you can sleep in, and hyunjin spends the whole time screaming.
one morning felix “accidentally” locks hyunjin inside the fridge for twenty minutes while he makes you breakfast in bed. when you get hyunjin he’s ice cold and stiff, immediately trying to burrow into your warm tits for warmth(not because tits, just again, hyunjin doesn’t see you like that at all, it’s because he knows women are warm there) while calling felix… i don’t think i can write this down. felix laughs at him and feeds you strawberries.
god, they hate each other so much but are literally made to be enemies.
like that one evening you’re on the couch making out with felix, slow and sweet and so young married, his tongue sliding on yours while his hand cups the back of your neck. sighs and little moans, whatnot. all while, mind you, felix has his other arm stretched straight out to the side, and at the end of that arm is hyunjin dangling by his harness from felix’s fist, legs kicking wildly, body twisting and thrashing.
“you fucking—sloppy—kissing—cocksucker!” hyunjin squeaks as he spins in circles.
felix hums on your lips, smiling into it, turns his wrist so hyunjin does a full 360. “not now, short king, daddy’s busy.”
the constant short kings thrown at hyunjin are a hundred times funnier if you consider that he used to be taller than felix.
eventually he gets bored and drops hyunjin onto the coffee table where the ferret immediately tries to jump at felix’s crotch, only to get gently kicked back by felix’s foot.
or he’ll set the ferret on top of the fridge and walk away while hyunjin screams from eight feet up, tiny legs dangling over the edge.
but felix interrupt his villain torture sessions just to pull you into his lap and kiss you stupid, whispering “love you more than anything, baby” into your mouth while hyunjin is dangling from his other hand losing his mind. he wants to throw hyunjin into the wall but suddenly that urge is nothing the second he sees you. his perfect beautiful wife.
he does the hyunjin babysitting shit because he wants you happy and relaxed, even if it means enduring an hour of death threats and attempted ball biting.
hyunjin is… hyunjin is more complicated.
he hates you. genuinely. with a burning, foaming, ball aching passion. he like calls you “felix’s personal cum rag” or “the bitch whose tits i’m gonna use as trampolines when i’m big again.” he plots your death in vivid detail every single night.
but underneath all that anger there’s this thing only you ever gave him.
he doesn’t like you. but he craves the way you love him anyway.
he craves the baths where you massage his tiny body and call him baby even while he’s cursing you out. he craves the way you hand feed him and listen to the whole rants about his old villain glory days. he craves crawling up inside your sweatpants to hide from felix and the way you lie for him. he craves waking up in your giant back pocket after falling asleep in there. he craves the morning cuddles. he craves when you smother him in kisses instead of scolding him.
he doesn’t like you. he refuses to like you.
but fuck if he isn’t starting to need you.
platonically, of course, let’s make that clear.
he loves felix’s love for you too, because watching felix be so purely in love with you makes the hero look human and weak and that makes hyunjin feel better about himself. makes screaming “shut your whore mouth before i turn it into a second asshole” at felix better.
and you always include the little fucker. some nights before you crawl into bed and melt into your beautiful husband, you open hyunjin’s fancy cage, scoop the fuckass ferret out, and press him to your chest. so he’s tucked between your tits, tiny body warm on your skin, his little heartbeat beating with yours. “this changes nothing you sentimental cunt. i still plan to rip your nipples off with my teeth and use them as decorations on my future throne.”
you hum softly, one arm cradling him close while your other hand slides down to squeeze felix’s ass under the sheets. felix grins on your neck.
hyunjin keeps muttering disgusting things against your collarbone, but he stops moving around. his tiny claws flex once, twice, then relax.
he’s never had this in his human life. not once. no one ever held him. no one ever gave him warmth. so even while he’s seething, the feeling of being pressed to soft skin and heartbeat makes something actually addictive develop in his walnut brain.
he hates how good it feels. he hates it so much he almost wants to cry, but instead he just hisses “i’ll skull fuck your future children” and comes closer.
during the day when felix is out doing hero shit, you walk around the penthouse with hyunjin held to your chest like a baby. just a baby. one hand under his butt, the other supporting his back, or gently bouncing him with one full arm while you do chores or scroll on your phone.
the sway gets to him every single time, how rhythmic it is. nobody can resist that. after a few minutes his pretty little eyes get heavy. and then, oh my god, he starts sucking on his own tiny ferret fingers, making these little suckling noises while his tail twitches.
it feels so good. the warmth, the gentleness, the bounce, the way you talk to him. he’s irritated as fuck but he never tries to climb down.
one afternoon felix is in the shower and you’ve got hyunjin in the big marble tub for his bath. y’know, warm water, a couple of those floating bath toys he pretends to hate, and you’re sitting on the edge, watching him paddle around. your little swimmer.
he’s actually lowkey enjoying the swimming, zooming from one end to the other, when felix steps out of the shower completely butt fucking naked, water dripping down his perfect body. hyunjin looks up at him.
“ha. mine used to be bigger, micropenis. you could try casting a spell on that too. or turn me back to human so i can make you suck it.”
felix flips hyunjin off, walks over still dripping wet, leans down, and presses a sweet kiss to the top of your head. “love you, baby. keep spoiling the evil rat.” then he grabs a towel, wraps it around his waist, and leaves you to watch hyunjin continue his angry laps around the tub.
it’s also a huge influence on hyunjin’s never loved brain that you and felix are so casual with intimacy, with being naked around each other, naked also means vulnerable, and literally why would anyone be vulnerable from their free will??? hyunjin never understood that. but now, he begins to. because he sees love in this household.
you even made him one of those sensory things like a big box filled with dry macaroni. ferrets are supposed to love the crunchy texture and the rattling sound, you saw.
you set it on the floor one evening and drop hyunjin inside. he starts thrashing around, macaroni flying everywhere.
“what the fuck is this? i’ll shove every piece of this pasta up your cunt and make you rattle when you walk!”
but ten minutes later when you check on him he’s deep in the macaroni, making little content noises, asleep. tired himself out, the baby(is an evil man). knocked the fuck out.
that night felix actually lets him sleep in the bed with you two. hyunjin ends up between your bodies, curled up, tiny head under your chin(specifically yours, he hates both you and felix but you’re his favorite). felix mutters “if he bites my dick in his sleep i’m turning him into a scarf” but he leaves him there.
hyunjin wakes up the next morning pressed between two warm humans and he’s never been more pissed off. he’s never felt more… something. he starts plotting how to poison the macaroni box while you two are still asleep and fuck’s sake why are you two so comforting like this.
and also, hyunjin has been begging for cigarettes for literal months. ever since he got turned into a ferret he’s been screeching about needing nicotine, even though the addiction should have stayed in his human body.
felix finally gives in one night. the two of them are out on the balcony, felix in pants only, hyunjin on the little glass table next to him.
felix lights up a cigarette from the pack he bought just for the ferret, takes a drag, then holds it down so the end is near hyunjin’s tiny mouth.
hyunjin’s leans in, takes the world’s smallest puff, fucking adorable, and immediately starts coughing his lungs out, whole body convulsing, eyes watering.
felix laughs at him and holds it there, letting hyunjin try again.
it’s brutally sweet, if you think about it.
you shout from inside the penthouse that dinner’s ready. felix calls back “coming babe!” stubs the cigarette out on the railing, and kicks hyunjin back inside.
hyunjin goes flying across the threshold, tumbling into the living room. “i wasn’t finished you heartless fuck! i’ll rip your throat out and smoke your arteries!” he’s so mad he’s literally vibrating.
but the truth is felix did it for him. bought the pack. took him outside. held the cigarette to his little mouth. gave him a tiny piece of the old villain life he misses so much.
hyunjin has never been more pissed off in his entire miserable ferret existence.
he’s also never been more loved.
he still hates both of you with every fiber of his tiny evil being, but late at night when he’s pressed between your bodies, one paw on felix’s arm and his face buried in your skin, sucking on his own tiny fingers while the gentle rise and fall of your breathing soothes the empty places he used to fill with cruelty… he feels something else than irritation.
he has zero tiny idea whether to scream or curl up tighter.
so he does both. every single day.
author’s note: oh this is going to flop, i don’t think there’s a big audience for content like this. but we’ll see. anyways part two of all done boss is coming!! another ot8 fic in the works then part two of serial killer han<3 then i’m thinking maybe dear yn next because i have so much shit planned for that part. or maybe minho’s solo killer fic??
Upon careful examination of thy vast and illustrious compendium, it hath come to light that thou art grievously lacking a story dedicated solely to the korean pop artist named Changbin, wherefore I do most humbly and earnestly petition that thou wouldst rectify this omission by establishing a grand and exceedingly lengthy chronicle in their honor forthwith. Thank you and good day madam
y’all i have multiple shit planned for this lovely man but first i have to give y’all the promised second parts of things and other things requested or publish the things i want to write more than what i have planned for bin. but dw i’m not ignoring his lovely ass(if y’all maybe have the thought of me not liking him as much as i like the others, i love all of them the same), just have other shit planned before him.
short answer: okay ofc! coming after… oh well shit a lot of things but i’m also planning minho’s separate serial killer fic first. i want to be done with all separate serial killers for all boys so the soonest changbin fic is his solo killer one. but i have more ideas written down too<3
summary: part v. some boyfriend content with each four of them. and like, feat the other dipshits. but you’re the one taking felix to his doctor’s check up.
warnings: non idol au, violence, blood, mentions of gore, cannibalism, obsessive behavior, jealousy, cursing, homicidal behavior/psychopathy, mentions of self harm and throwing up, sexual content(mentions of p in v, humping, heavy petting, love for men’s balls but it’s not sexual after all, light voyeurism), reader getting no privacy, so also talks about periods and the boys interacting with it but it’s in the funny way, the boys are not okay mentally
word count: 25k
hyunjin is not handling this well.
like, not even a little bit.
he wants to handle it well. he really fucking does. he’s trying to be normal about it, trying to be one of those “yeah man, we talked about it, it’s fine, i respect it” kind of guys… but he is not that guy.
and with the way he keeps it in, it just builds. and builds. and builds. until suddenly he’s three drinks in at noon, sitting somewhere he doesn’t even remember choosing, staring at his phone because you’re not answering fast enough.
not even ignoring him. just… busy. with someone else.
oh, so you’re with them. cool. great.
and then he orders another drink.
because obviously that’s the solution.
and we’re talking about a noon here but it’s already on in the mornings. hyunjin wakes up already pissed off at his fucking chungus life. with a headache, most time.
his hands don’t know what to do anymore. before you, they knew exactly what they were for. he was born to end lives. now… now he just holds shit when not stabbing with it. he always looks so off nowadays. but always plays with something in his hands when spacing out, that’s our point here.
one morning, early, hyunjin’s already up. he always wakes up early. can’t not. currently sitting at the counter of his and binnie’s place, hunched forward with that ass posture of his, why is this guy so long, turning a knife slowly in his hand. not like a big one, just… enough to do damage if he wanted to. but he’s not using it. he’s just holding it. plus you would worry about him if he hurt himself. so he’s… not going to do that.
changbin stands there for a second, watching. then he walks over, holds his hand out. “give me that.”
“fuck off.”
“hyune.”
“i said fuck off.”
changbin reaches out and takes the knife.
hyunjin lets him. lets his hand go slack, lets it be taken because nothing matters. fucking psycho.
changbin turns it once in his hand, sets it down out of reach. sighs. mr emo should calm the fuck down. (or maybe changbin should open up his eyes and realize hyunjin is not wrong here, just a more expressed and deeper version of what changbin also was once before you let him hit. changbin is kind of an asshole here, always on your dick and not helping his friend who’s having it way worse.)
that’s why for hyunjin, it’s not just that you’re with other people, it’s who. it’s the details. it’s the images that won’t leave his head no matter how much he tries to drown them out.
you.
on his bed.
changbin’s hands on you.
changbin’s mouth on you.
right there. while he was just asleep. he keeps seeing it, over and over, and it’s not even something he witnessed, it’s something he imagines only, fills in with way too much detail that destroy him but most likely didn’t even happen. like hyune i promise you that they did not kiss that close to you as you imagine it.
it makes his stomach twist. makes his grip tighten on whatevers in his hands at the time. makes him want to break something. or someone’s bones. or his own head on a wall.
and hyunjin can’t be mad at you. couldn’t even try. because to him, you’re, fuck, you’re everything.
when you look at him? it all just stops, just for that long. the constant torture in his head and everything that holds in itself, gone. that’s why he still wants you just as bad. maybe worse.
if you asked him to wait? he would.
if you asked him to share? he might.
if you asked him to stay like this, falling deep into this and mad and completely fucked up over you, just a simple little human? he’d do that too.
but all this waiting just ends up making him… hungrier.
he’s constantly trying to figure out where he fits. where he’s allowed to stand. he doesn’t openly hit on you like jeongin, he can’t give you that. doesn’t do what he wants like seungmin, would mess up everything if he did. doesn’t cling like han, he’d feel annoying. can’t over-daddy everyone like chan, could never be on that level. can’t have the same charm as changbin does, doesn’t have it, what changbin was born with, hyunjin learned himself. wouldn’t get away with being creepy like minho(god, only minho can do it like that, even hyunjin wants to drop his panties when he sees minho be a creep towards you. anyone else would be dead if the boys saw someone act like that, but not minho)
he just… waits. that’s what he does, lives in the back, in the others’ shadows, not even his looks saving him now.
first time having feelings going well so far.
oh, sweetie.
but at least he still has the privilege to steal you sometimes, because you do like hanging out with him. he’s grateful for that. (only has himself to be grateful for, is still grateful for you) he can grab your hand and pull and you won’t resist. you’ll giggle and go with him, even while han keeps making little noises.
“hey, hey, where are you taking her?”
“out.” hyunjin says.
“no—”
“yeah.”
he actually had to stab han in the thigh once just so that he wouldn’t follow you. hyunjin always. makes. sure. the others don’t follow you.
he needs the contact to stay sane. just the two of you’s. he doesn’t even talk much in these hangouts, just sits with you, smokes one maybe, watching you. accepting his heartache when you lean on him a little.
internally, he’s fine then. okay. life is good but then he remembers(just imagines, fuck he remembers if he didn’t see it) changbin on his bed, and it all comes back. he has to throw up again.
“…you really didn’t wake me up, huh.” he mutters one time.
you look at him. you’re beautiful. “what?”
he shakes his head. looks good on him. “nothing.”
drinks again. conversation over. but it’s not over.
changbin has taken that knife out of his hand multiple times now.
walk in. see hyunjin. see knife. say “again?” take the knife. place it somewhere, knowing he’ll find it again anyway. “you’re going to cut yourself.”
“wouldn’t be the worst thing.”
“you’re being dramatic.”
“you’re in a fivesome.”
“…can’t even argue with you, dude.”
it hits him in waves. that would be the best metaphor, though he has lots more of those. one minute he’s fine. normal. functionalish. doing whatever the fuck he does during the day. then next he’s on his bed, flat on his back, staring at the ceiling, flushed, heart doing some weird, uneven shit in his chest.
his brain, all you. again. always you.
he’s just thinking. thinking about the way you act with him. the way you lean into him when he pulls you into him, how you trust him with being that close, trust him to protect you in that position. he feels so boyfriend when you do that. you’re the perfect girl. the way your hand fits in his like it was made to be there. he’s sure it was. it must. the way you went out with him before you knew the others. the way your tits look—holy shit tits. yeah these thought chains can be sweet, can be dirty, longing, desperate, needy, horny, everything.
it’s not just want, attraction. it’s this gross need that took over his perfect life.
it’s unhealthy.
but what the fuck is anyone gonna do about it. nothing. that’s what.
so he gets love drunk. and it’s pathetic. genuinely embarrassing for a man like this. ptoo. this was supposed to be the sound of spitting in him. anyways. he’s on his bed in these little episodes, arms behind his head, staring at the ceiling looking like he just got shot by cupid himself. feels like it too. even ears red, little boy neck warm, just a boy thinking about you. no distractions. no phone. no alcohol (at least not yet, give him ten minutes).
and then there’s the other problem, which is that all this feeling has to go somewhere. and hyunjin is not good at expressing it. at all.
so it leaks. kinda like that. like one late night, hyunjin is not sleeping again. shocking. he’s been staring at the ceiling for… fuck knows how long, thinking about you, replaying everything, overanalyzing shit.
he gets up. no thoughts that drive him, just feels like going. walks out of his room, down the hallway. to changbin’s door, and opens it without knocking. (them not knocking on each other’s doors has gotten them into multiple situations now)
changbin is asleep. shirtless, sprawled out, one arm thrown over his head. he’a cute. such a boy. more man, maybe.
hyunjin stands there, staring. kinda forget why he came for. so he walks in, closes the door, and climbs into the bed.
fucking cuddles up to changbin. like presses into changbin’s side, throws a leg over him, one arm tucked between them and the other over changbin’s body.
changbin obviously wakes up to this, eyes opening, looking down, seeing hyunjin. processing… processing…
“hey, buddy.” changbin says.
“…hi.”
changbin exhales, so soft, adjusting to get comfortable again, then puts an arm around hyunjin.
“you okay?” he asks.
“no.”
“yeah. figured.”
hyunjin presses his face into changbin’s shoulder, trying to hide.
changbin understands. wishes he could do something for hyunjin. these two kill people btw.
at some point, hyunjin falls asleep. changbin goes back to sleep too. cuties.
and they could be doing this more, would help a lot, but when not, they’re at your place. everyone is at your place. it’s not your place anymore. it’s theirs too. they have collectively decided that your space is now their space. your time is their time.
like, some days you walk in, and felix is on your couch, flipping through one of your magazines like he can actually read. (he can)
he looks up when you come in, smiling ear to ear. “oh, hey.”
“hi, lix. what are you doing?”
“reading.” such a cutie. “my horoscope says i’m gonna change the world.”
“amazing, sweetie.”
and when you turn your head because hyunjin is talking to you about how the moon looks like your left tit or whatever emo shit he’s on today, and when you turn back, felix is eating the paper.
you don’t even have the energy to yell anymore. you just take the rest of the magazine before he eats the whole thing.
you like your magazines.
sometimes when the boys are all too much, too loud, too physical, too on you, and you need to calm down before you lose your mind or commit a homicide of your own, you sit down, grab the latest issue, and you read it. close every single one of them out. usually perfect legs crossed, flipping pages while han is trying to climb on top of the fridge, seungmin is shooting at changbin(your neighbors just started moving not too long ago), that’s the game, changbin has to dodge, jeongin climbs onto the back of the couch, start braiding tiny sections of your hair while talking to you. “and then i told the guy i was gonna wear his face as a mask for you, but he screamed so loud i had to—” you hum and don’t pay attention. felix is usually on the floor gnawing on something (sometimes a bone, sometimes one of your socks) making happy little noises, watching the others or plays with them when invited, minho stands there holding one of your bras, sniffing it every few minutes(fucking creep??? hello???), hyunjin tries to read over your shoulder. “this writer doesn’t understand true longing. i would kill myself for you.” chan’s the only one who sometimes just sits next to you quietly(when not sharpening something with little metal shavings accidentally ending up in your hair), arm around your shoulders, scrolling on his phone like a normal(ish) boyfriend until seungmin starts shit talking and they throw hands. it drives them insane because they want your attention so bad but you’re over here reading about skincare while three of them have their dicks out.
you need it because they’re always on you. touching you. leaning on you. sitting too close. standing too close. breathing too close. you’ll be in the kitchen and suddenly there’s a hand on you, any part of you. sometimes head, arm, the boyfriends get private areas privilege of course, whatnot. you’ll be on the couch and someone’s arm is around you. you’ll be walking somewhere and someone’s grabbed your wrist, your hand, your sleeve, something.
“where are you going?”
“over there.”
“why?”
“because i want to.”
“…come back.”
so you need your magazines to ignore them sometimes. and, surprisingly, they don’t bother you that much when they see you’re reading. well, they don’t stop bothering you, they still talk your ear off, but at least don’t rip the magazine out of your hands so you pay attention to them.
when shit gets too… well, psychotic, these men are sick and need you to stop them sometimes, we know that, sometimes you just shove the magazine into seungmin’s hands. he’s usually the closest to you. and you know he’ll hold it.
“read this and shut up for five minutes.” you say, going to the kitchen where minho and felix are about to castrate each other.
seungmin bitches “this is fucking stupid, why do women need ten tips for everything, just suck dick better, why am i—” but two minutes later he’s fully invested in the “sex tips for women who like it rough” article, eyebrows raised, nodding while reading.
you come back ten minutes later with jeongin crying because felix tried to bite his dick and seungmin’s just quietly reading under his breath “pro tip, communicate your needs… yeah no shit.” he hands it back without looking at you, face a little red. “mid.”
they’re always on your dick. you try to pee in peace and the bathroom door creaks open and one of them is just standing there. like changbin, saying “just making sure you’re okay, baby.”
“fuck are you looking at, get out.”
“okay. you’re so cute.” he says, smiling and waving.
chan will knock once, then walk in anyway, starts talking to you. he acts the most normal of them. acts. doesn’t mean he is. he’s not.
han will wander in scratching his balls, go “oh shit sorry” then just stand there watching. fascinated. “you pee like a girl… that’s so cool…” ??? okay??? once he got so excited he started clapping. “wow you’re really going!! good job!!”
seungmin doesn’t really come in unless he needs something or just wants to annoy you, but not like he minds the fact that you’re peeing. once the second you wrapped your used pad up he took it from your hands and threw it into the tiny trash can for you. you, to this day, genuinely can’t decide if that was cute or fucking creepy.
and your bedroom? fucking circus. you have one bed. one. one! you’re lucky that it’s a big bed, but not big enough for the fact that all of these men, freshly feeling men, deeply in love men, want to sleep touching you.
han is glued to you, nonnegotiable. if he doesn’t get to be next to you, it’s “no—no, i’m staying—i’m staying right here—” it’s too much, but you love him. it’s also kind of sad. it’s also incredibly fucking inconvenient when there are also other people in the room.
seungmin is just “this is disgusting.” “move over.” “why is he breathing like that.” “why is everyone breathing like that.” but god forbid he’s not involved.
chan just decides where he’s sleeping and everyone else adjusts accordingly. daddy has built this system up himself.
and you want changbin there, and no way you don’t get what you want(except for peace but whatever) so changbin will be touching you one way or another. that gives him more confidence too nowadayd.
you wake up some mornings with han drooling on your tit, seungmin’s arm over your waist, changbin curled up at your feet the baby(execute him now), and chan somehow taking up half the mattress, with an arm behind your neck!! then you look down and felix is on the floor waiting for you to wake up and spend time with him, jeongin is spooning a pillow, hyunjin is writing something on the ceiling with a marker(???), and minho is standing in the corner watching everyone. waves to you. you hate them. (you love them more than anything and you’re unbelievably grateful for them no matter how horrible they are to the world)
and naturally, now that they’re all over you and see that the others are also all over you, they will… not want to be all over the others too. difficult wording, point here, jealousy.
not so serious that they’ll kill each other(except if you’re minho, he’d kill anyone), god no, but still. some of them are fine with sharing, some get a bit jealous. (but still would share if you told them to. anything you want, y/n.)
right now, the mainly hated one is chan.
well, they actually love chan, in the limited way serial killers can love anything that isn’t themselves and their needs to kill. they look up to him. he’s the most put together in any given situation, minho and felix trying to rip each other’s faces off or jeongin threatening to “end it all” over a bad haircut that’s not even bad and he’s the only one who thinks so, chan’s daddy ass steps in and everything is fine in five minutes. okay, sure, he had to break hyunjin’s collarbone once, but still settled shit.
they respect him. they copy him sometimes. they see how he acts with you and try the same. but right now, mostly they want to kill him.
he’s spending solo time with you today. they know. it makes them want to hang themselves.
right now, hyunjin and felix are… somewhere. no one really knows where they decided to go, just that hyunjin needed to get out and felix followed because he likes hyunjin’s company. (let’s note that he doesn’t know he likes hyunjin’s company, his brain likes it without him being conscious of it.) so they’re spending time together in an alley behind a building. felix is gnawing on a forearm, making disgusting, crunching sounds while he talks to hyunjin.
“and then i was like, wait, what if you just—”
“yeah.”
“right? like you don’t even have to—”
“no, yeah.”
“and then it just, like, came off, right? like, completely off. i didn’t even know that could happen, but then minho told me to put it down and i really—“
“deep.”
hyunjin hasn’t heard a single word. not one. he’s staring off into the distance, mind somewhere else entirely. guess where, you. every few minutes felix offers him a bite and hyunjin politely declines without even looking at felix, it would be hard for anyone else, felix is beautiful. hyunjin just doesn’t care now. it’s sweet that felix still keeps offering the boys bites even though they always say no. he’s either thoughtful or thoughtless and forgot they keep declining. anyways, he swings his legs, talks, goes on, while hyunjin drinks, and drinks, and drinks.
minho and jeongin are out getting rid of a body together, the two of them dragging a trash bag through the woods. they don’t talk much. but they’re having fun. seungmin is waiting in the car, he’s not in the mood for moving around now.
changbin and han are at changbin’s(and hyunjin’s but whatever he’s not home) place.
han is whining. “i miss her already, man, what if—”
changbin has him by the collar, holding him in place with one massive fucking arm holy shit so hot while he stirs something on the stove. “she’s fine, buddy. just chill. i made pasta. eat.”
han tries to run toward the door again and changbin yanks him back. brutal respect to him for never once raising his voice, by the way.
so. you and chan have your place to yourselves. you’re in the kitchen doing shit, chopping things or stirring whatever’s in the pot, while chan is behind you.
he’s such a sex symbol. moves behind you without a sound, psychopath quiet really, big hands on your hips. he leans down, presses a soft kiss to the side of your head. “smells good.” reaches around to steal a piece of whatever you’re chopping, puts it in his mouth, and hums. approval. “missed you today.” he whispers. that, is harder to say. but he did great.
you lean back into him. “missed you too. how was the… thing?” you don’t say kill out loud. ew ew ew. sometimes you dance around it, sometimes you don’t. today feels like dancing.
it’s brutal development, where we are now, where you are about what they do. but you love them this way, learn to accept it.
“i did good. guy begged like a lil bitch at the end but that’s nothing new. told him to shut up and think about his family. made it faster for him.”
you turn your head enough to look at him, to see his pretty face, tasting the sauce off the wooden spoon. offer it back over your shoulder for him. “here. try this. too much basil?”
he takes the spoon, tastes it. nods. “perfect. you always nail it.” he sets the spoon down and wraps both arms around your waist now, pulling you back against him.
it’s weird, that killing gives him this much of a rush. a man who can be this gentle with you is that evil.
and you also give him that rush. you do the same shit to his nervous system but worse. or better, y’know. he gets these random adrenaline rushes just from the way you do even the most insignificant shit like sneezing. now his heart rate raises like it does when he’s chasing someone, so blood reacts to that, and oh look at that, his dick is filling slowly because his body chose you.
the part in his brain that used to only light up for, to react to violence, now does that for your voice. for your anything really, your whole being. he loves it, living with this now. weird. makes him feel human, that used to make him want to peel his skin off.
he’s so in love it’s dumb. lame. his psychology’s new, attachment that used to be impossible for a guy like him now feels like oxygen. you’re the only thing that brings him good emotions all the time. every little interaction with you, or just thinking about you really, gets his dopamine, his dumb man body, higher than any kill ever did.
so, his cock’s half hard now, pressing against the front of his jeans, and it’s not even because his brain got sexual information, it’s because you simply make him this happy.
before you, he thought this shit, talking, touching, just existing in the same room, was a waste of time, oh he didn’t need it. now he’d watch you do this for hours. he’d watch you sleep, he does.
you turn your head to look at him and he catches your mouth in a kiss, no tongue, just wet mouth on mouth. when he pulls back his eyes are dark, pupils big from the love and lust flooding his system. looks good on him. the white feather hawk tail deer hunter likes to keep me cold in the hot breeze summer ever.
“keep cooking, i’m good right here.” he murmurs, not wanting to stop your little woman activity for his dumb dick. but he could cum like this if he let himself, really could, humping you while you finish dinner, spilling in his pants because you do that to him. but he won’t.
“mm.” you reply. “give me time then, i want you to try this for sure. just thought i’d make something you like. i know you love spicy.”
he puts his cheek to your cheek. heartless psychopath, by the way. “i do. you know me so well.”
let’s ignore that he can’t deal with spicy. loves it, tolerating it is another case entirely. you know that, he forgets sometimes.
“i want to know you so well. i care about you, you know. so i worry. what if one day something goes wrong out there? what if you don’t come back? i don’t know what i’d do with all these assholes without you keeping them in line.”
chan smiles. he presses another kiss to your temple, then your cheek. “i always come back. got too much to come home to now.” his hands slide a little higher, palms on your sides, holding you closer. “tell me about your day. you were out earlier. anything interesting?”
“usual. ran into jeongin at the store. he obviously followed me there, but didn’t cause trouble so it was fine. i told him to tone it down or i’m banning him from the apartment for a week, and han tried to cheer him up by offering to share his ‘special’ energy drink. which is just vodka and red bull. they both ended up puking in the bathtub. they left after that. nothing else, actually.
chan hums and holds you to himself, letting you feel him. “fuck, baby. you feel good. always do.”
you bite your lip, getting all horny now too. “yeah?”
“mhm.” he hums, grinding against you a bit. just a little bit, not like, han, who would be full on humping you now. he looks away. “feels good when you worry.”
this is huge, coming from someone this closed off. the progress you made with these boys should get an award, no joke. it’s serious shit.
you add more things into the pan because they need vegetables and thankfully all eats them. then lean back into him more, letting him hold your weight. he’ll always hold your weight. “i do worry, chan. you’re not invincible. promise me you’ll be careful?”
his hips press in again, cock going between your asscheeks over the clothes. it’s not to start anything, just to relieve the situation in his pants. he’s obviously listening to you, kisses the side of your neck even, open mouthed and wet. hot. “i promise, baby. careful as i can be.” another press of his hips, more upwards, breath hitching just slightly. “talk to me more.”
you hum, giving everything a stir in the pan. “okay, fine. i’ve been thinking about getting a bigger place. this one bedroom is killing me with all eight of you basically living here. but then i think about moving and i get this weird panic because… what if the new place doesn’t feel like home? what if it’s too big and you all spread out?”
“mm. i get it. it’s grown on me too.”
you hum, focusing on the food even as your body responds to this man’s whole being. “i’ve been reading this article in one of my magazines about how to deal with difficult people. thought it was funny because none of the tips apply to you guys. ‘set boundaries’ yeah right, tried and didn’t work. ‘communicate calmly’ i do but it doesn’t do anything. but with you they work. you listen.“ you mumble. this is not favoritism, you love the others just as much as you love chan, it’s just a fact that he’s easier to deal with. “anyways, how was your day besides the thing? you went out earlier with minnie, right? didn’t come back covered in blood this time, so i’m guessing you two ate out or something? went well?”
“no that was murder too.”
“oh.”
“seungmin got a little creative with a crowbar, but it wasn’t that serious. you should be proud.”
you put your head back against his chest, smiling. “i am. the others couldn’t do that. han told me he almost set the couch on fire yesterday trying to ‘impress’ felix with some dumb lighter trick. you hear about that?”
he rocks you a little. it’s not even to relieve his boner, it’s just to be close to you. “heard the smoke alarm. changbin had to put the fire out. should’ve seen his face, he thought he ruined dinner for you.”
“poor bin.” you say, genuinely feeling a little bad. you add some soy sauce to the pan. sizzles. “he tries so hard. last week he brought me flowers, it was so cute. you notice how he’s been smiling more since… well, since he got added?”
he watches over your shoulder as you toss the things in the pan around. “yeah. innie’s worse though. he tried to do push ups in the living room to ‘bulk up’ so you’d notice him more. got to twenty, then felix walked by eating a sandwich and jeongin got distracted, fell on the carpet. nosebleed everywhere. han laughed so hard he pissed himself a little. changbin tried to help clean it up but used your good towel. the pink one.”
“NO.”
he hisses. “yeah, sorry.”
you sigh, reaching back with one hand to pat his thigh. “whatever, i’ll ask felix for a new one. speaking of, did you see what he did to my last magazine? ate half of it. i don’t even know how to respond to that anymore.”
his hands squeeze your hips as he rolls against you again, his cock pressing nicely between your cheeks. still patient though. “i’ll talk to him.”
“god, he’s so empty up there.” you say fondly. the food’s starting to look done. “but he tries. in his weird way. two days ago he brought me a flower. like one. picked it himself. it was sweet.”
chan’s hips keep humping into yours, sometimes in circles. “they all try. even seungmin. he bitched about your magazine the other day but i saw him reading the how to squirt article when he thought nobody was looking. turned the page so fast when i walked in. almost ripped it.”
you giggle. “he’s an angel. he leaves hickeys shaped like hearts sometimes. don’t tell him i noticed.“
“wouldn’t dream of it, baby.” oh, his voice is getting a little rougher, but he keeps the conversation going like nothing’s happening below the waist. skill. his free hand reaches around to steal a piece of broccoli from the pan, pops it in his mouth.
you turn the heat down and you lean back into him completely now, and he takes this deep, slow breath.
you smile, god, it’s weird that a smile comes so natural for you, compared to them, eyes half closed, enjoying him.“hey. i saw a bruise on your ribs two days ago when you were changing. it looked kinda nasty. you never told me how you got it. still hurting?”
he huffs against your hair, hips moving against your ass because he can’t help it. “no big deal. just some guy got lucky. nothing broken. barely even feel it anymore.”
you don’t buy it for a second. you turn around in his arms, grabbing the hem of his shirt and tugging it upward. “let me see anyway.”
chan raises an eyebrow, the one without the cute little mole, but lifts his arms to help, that calm, sexy smirk on his face(embodiment of dr dr feel good come make me feel real good fr) as you peel the shirt off over his head and drop it on the counter behind him. oh that’s dada right there. even with the bruise on his left side, ugly, purple yellow thing spread across his ribs, fresh.
your heart does a little twist, these guys are brutal, survive anything basically, but seeing him like this still makes you worry.
you’re the only one who worries for them like this. who knows them like this.
“fuck, chan… that looks like it hurts more than you’re letting on.”
you keep looking at him, not the bruise only,(of course) but just savoring that this is your man. that your man has this chest, these shoulders, these traps, these biceps, triceps, and not to forget that light little happy trail starting under his belly button, leading down into his jeans where his cock is visibly straining, begging for your attention.
it’s really important that it’s begging for yours specifically.
your hand slides down his stomach, fingertips moving over his abs, then lower. you cup him through his jeans, feeling how he presses against the layers of clothing. giving him a gentle squeeze, then a slow little tug, petting the outline of his cock.
chan takes a cute, deep little breath but he stays still, letting you touch however you want. “y/n…” he mutters, plea. there’s a tiny smile on his mouth. you want to rip him apart.
instead, you pull your groping hand away(the way his chest rises at that is panty dropping) and press under his belly button instead, pushing him back gently until his ass hits the edge of the counter.
he goes easy, leaning against it, watching you, letting you manhandle him because it’s you. his hands settle on the counter behind him.
you step in, rise up on your toes, and kiss him.
it’s slow. loving. a psychopath’s love on your lips, really. tasting each other.
one of his hands comes up to cradle the back of your head, the other on your waist, the soft wet sounds of making out in the quiet kitchen or the occasional pop from the cooling pan.
when you finally pull back you tilt your head and kiss along his jaw, then down to his neck. your mouth latches on, sucking blood up to the surface hard, leaving a trail of dark hickeys across his skin. so everyone will see it tomorrow and know exactly who put it there.
one goes right over the tendon that flexes when he swallows. that’s your favorite.
chan tilts his head to give you more room, sighing and grabbing into your hair in pleasure, letting you mark him up.
you keep going, down, down, down, kissing down the center of his chest now. your knees don’t even mind their position so just that your tongue can flick out over one of his nipples, circling it before you close your lips around it and suck gently.
chan’s hand pulls lightly at your hair, a soft grunt escaping him.
you part from him, giving the peaked little nipple(god you’re crazy about men’s nipples) one last little flick before you leave to lick across to the other one, giving it the same love, teeth involved now to make his abs tense under your finger.
lower. you sink down slowly, knees bending until you’re crouching in front of him, eyes locked on his the whole way. your hands slide up his thighs, feeling the muscle there before you lean in and press a soft kiss right to the bruise on his ribs.
soft, careful kisses right over the discolored skin. little pecks that turn into longer presses of your lips, tongue poking out on his hot skin. he’s such a man. a babe too, deep down.
“kissing it better.” you murmur on his skin, lips on the bruise where it’s turning yellowish now.
“it’s better already, baby. swear.”
you smile on the bruise and kiss it again. “good. i hate when you get hurt and don’t tell me. i want you to come home to me in one piece.”
“i always do.” he murmurs. his hand strokes your scalp gently. “always come back to you.”
you move across his stomach then, kissing every inch of skin, dipping your tongue into his belly button for a second to hear the way his breath stutters. he likes that. then back up a little, licking over his nipples again on the way, sucking one into your mouth while your hand strokes lightly over his side.
back up, eventually, standing up again so you can kiss his mouth once more. this time chan meets you halfway, kissing you deeper now, tongue trying to meet yours immediately. big bad psycho man needed this now.
and he’s still so, so hard for you.
when you break the kiss you go back down again, lips finding his neck for more hickeys. you suck a particularly dark one on his collarbone, then soothe it with your tongue. not even close to the tendon’s number one spot in your favorites, but this looks good too. chan’s head is tipped back, eyes half lidded, blissed the fuck out. you kiss lower again, across his chest.
you move down to give the bruise another round of soft kisses, murmuring “still kissing it better.”
“it’s perfect now. doesn’t hurt at all. you fixed it.”
you always fix everything.
you give his hipbone a loving squeeze with both hands, then just again, rise up and kiss his neck again, add another hickey, then find his mouth.
now it’s getting mf wet. lips pulling and sucking until your knees are weak and it’s practically chan holding you up. but why wouldn’t he when you pour this much care into every kiss, every lick, every mark?
he can’t believe that he’s this lucky to have you. he’ll have to go and thank hyunjin for choosing you back then. hyunjin, who chan doesn’t feel bad for even while clearly seeing what he’s going through. he simply couldn’t care when you’re there and in his mind instead. plus the dude will live anyway.
you lose track of how many times you travel that path. down and up, kissing, licking, sucking, making out. each round slower than the last. his neck is a mess of hickeys now, a field really, body hot and flushed, the bruise looking the same but he said you fixed it so you fixed it. his cock stays hard the whole time, straining, leaking a little but no seeping through, but you never touch it again after that first tease. this isn’t about getting him off. it’s about you caring for your man, showing him with your mouth and hands that he matters, that his bruises get kissed, that his cold little psycho heart is safe with you, as crazy that is to say.
you could do this all night.
you pull back to look at him. his eyes are heavy, so beautiful, biiiiig lips a little red, fresh hickeys looking good on his skin. he looks thoroughly kissed and completely content. the dream man.
“hungry?” you ask quietly, nodding toward the cold food.
chan smiles, so rare. “starving, baby. but not for that.”
he leans in and kisses you again, slow, hands sliding to your skin now.
you make everything perfect in his feelingless little world. you make the black and white colorful. you put a meaning into everything.
hours later you’re tangled up in your bed now, sheets kicked halfway off because the two of you went at it like animals after allat slow kissing in the kitchen getting both of you hot and bothered. clothes gone in a second, man fucked you into the mattress until both of you were shaking and swearing and cumming so loud(the way chan was shouting was delicious) the neighbors probably thought someone was getting murdered (again). now the afterglow has you both… like this, naked, sticky, limbs around each other.
chan’s face is on your tummy, cheek on your skin, arm draped over your hip. babe’s almost asleep, breathing slowly, warm puffs ghosting over your belly button every time he exhales. he’s about to fall asleep.
you’re on your back, legs loosely tangled with his, one hand buried in his hair while the other rests on his broad shoulder.
the state you left him in is fucking brutal.
his whole torso is… wow. dark hickeys on his chest, some overlapping where you sucked the same spot twice. a lot of them. like an unsettling amount at this point. there’s a line of them down his stomach, fading into smaller ones right above where his cock is now soft and tucked against your thigh. his nipples are still a little puffy and red from how long you licked and sucked them. you even left a set of teeth marks on the inside of his left pec because you got carried away when he hit that spot inside you. his eyes rolled back then.
his back is shredded with your nail marks, long, red scratches running from his shoulder blades all the way down to the dimples above his ass. you can feel the raised lines under your fingertips when you slide your hand down there. that’s how rough you went. you’ll have to put something on it tomorrow. some cream. one particularly wild scratch is around his ribcage, right next to the bruise you spent so long kissing better earlier. on the side of his face, right under his cheekbone, there’s a fading set of nail marks where you grabbed him while he was pounding into you and you were cumming so hard you saw stars. and then there’s the hickey on his right ass cheek, even though it’s currently hidden under the crumpled sheet.
but right now, your full focus is on his curls.
you’re obsessed with them. they’re so soft, a little damp from sweat, so cute over his forehead and around his ears. like wdym boys have their little hairs too and they live with it.
you thread your fingers through it slowly, scratching lightly at his scalp with your nails when not gently tugging at the hair itself.
chan’s eyes are closed but they’re rolling the fuck back from pleasure under his pretty lids. he even lets out these tiny little “mhmfp” sounds and (which he doesn’t notice) his legs kick a little.
you smile at your big strong scary boyfriend and massage the base of his skull with your fingertips. another soft sound from him. his arm tightens around your hip before it loses tension again because you hit a good spot.
“your hair’s so fucking pretty.” you murmur. you don’t expect an answer. chan isn’t big on pillow talk about feelings, but he listens. he always listens when you talk. he’s okay with you talking.
he knows you know. communication, obviously. hyunjin should learn.
you gather a handful of curls at the crown of his head and give a gentle tug, then release, watching them bounce back into place. chan’s eyelashes flutter against your skin and he makes almost a purr now. you repeat, scratching behind his ear with your nails, then smoothing the curls down only to mess them up again on purpose. all the tension he carries around (the kills, the other seven, the constant everything on everything) just drains out through your touch.
you were born to deal with these psychos, and each of them was born to be right in your palm.
you twirl one curl around your index finger until it’s tight, hold it for a second, then let go so it springs free. cute. chan’s lips part against your tummy and he lets out a quiet “fuck…” under his breath. he can feel his love for you in his arms, not just his huge chest.
you’re like some cat, entertained by this. just playing around. how are they supposed to take your seriously like this??
you drag your nails from his hairline all the way back, then repeat, over and over. soothing. every pass earns you another one of those little sounds, sometimes a hum, sometimes just the tiniest hitch in his breath. big bad man who can choke someone out with one hand and stay completely calm while doing it is currently putty because you’re giving his hair some love.
you trace the shell of his ear with one fingertip, then bury your fingers back into the hair behind it. chan nuzzles closer to your tummy, nose(that you like riding so much) pressing into the soft skin there.
“i could do this for hours. they’re softer than they look, you know that? and the way they curl right here at the nape of your neck… fuck, channie. it’s so cute how hot you are even when you’re being all sweet like this.” type shit good dick makes you say.
“not sweet.” he mumbles, voice muffled and kinda raspy from all the groaning he did earlier. it sounds adorable. “just… tired. you wore me out.”
“hm.”
you know him. he won’t suddenly start talking about his feelings or how much he loves you out loud. but the way his arm squeezes your hip, the way his whole body relaxed on yours(means a lot coming from a psycho who was never felt attachment before) the way he keeps making those baby little noises every time you hit a good spot, that’s his version of i’m so fucking in love with you.
you keep playing with his hair for a long time. sometimes you just let your fingers rest in the curls, feeling the warmth of his scalp. boy warmth. sometimes you tug a little harder, and he rewards you with a deeper sound on your belly.
his nail marked back rises and falls under your arm. so sweet. he’s just a little meow meow(an unbelievably disgusting man to walk this earth)
you tug at a curl, watch it bounce, and smile when chan makes a little sound again. it’s so attractive. more attractive when you remember how fast he can snap spines. weird, how slowly you began to get over these little images. they’re not upsetting anymore, but seeing it in real life would still freak you out, no doubt.
you do it once more, then smooth everything down with your palm, only to mess it all up again because you can’t help yourself.
“love your curls so much.” you murmur scratching behind his ear. “love you, baby.”
chan, sleepy psycho he is, turns his face to press a kiss right below your belly button, then settles again, cheek back on your tummy.
god, you really do love this man.
“Y/N!!!”
han.
home.
the front door slams. immediately after you hear changbin’s slightly panicked voice “jis, buddy, please, calm down, they’re probably resting—”
something crashes. glass? a lamp? maybe the coffee table. another crash, louder. a third noise sounds suspiciously like a chair being thrown across the living room???
you and chan both sigh at the exact same time.
“should’ve locked the door.” he mutters.
before you can answer, the bedroom door flies open.
“hi y/n!! hi chan!!” han says, already kicking his shoes off so hard one of them smacks the wall and leaves a black little stain. you keep telling him to take them off at the door. “you guys won’t believe the day i had! i tried to steal this guy’s car but the keys were in his pocket so i had to cut his pocket off first and then the pocket had a hole and the keys fell into a sewer grate and then felix tried to reach in after them but his arm got stuck and—” he’s talking a mile a minute while simultaneously peeling his shirt off over his head. pants next, he hops on one foot, almost falls, catches himself on the dresser, then yanks them down along with his boxers halfway before stopping and pulling the boxers back up. he leaves them on, thank god. “—and then the guy woke up even though i swore i hit him hard enough and he started screaming so i had to sit on his face until he stopped moving and his nose made this wet crunch sound and blood came out his ears and it was so gross but also kinda funny and then changbin said i couldn’t keep the car anyway because it had blood on the seats—”
he fucking lifts the covers like it’s his god given fucking right and crawls into bed, wiggling between you and chan. half on top of you, one arm over your waist, face nuzzling into the side of your bare boob. his leg kicks out, his foot ends up between chan’s ass cheeks under the sheets.
chan doesn’t even fucking care anyone, just shifts his hips because whatever it’s han.
han’s pretty voice is slightly muffled against your tit now. “anyway i missed you so much i thought about you the whole time even when i was pulling that guy’s teeth out with pliers and you smell like sex. that’s nice. did chan make you cum a lot? he’s good at that. i’m getting better too, remember last time i lasted four minutes instead of two—”
changbin catches up, now at the door too looking exhausted. “i tried. i really tried to keep him outside longer. he just… ran.”
you smile, still playing with chan’s hair with one hand while the other reaches out toward changbin “c’mere, baby. it’s fine.”
he doesn’t need telling twice. he strips fast, shirt folded (really important that he folds it), pants folded, everything placed carefully on the chair(seungmin usually sits in when is not in the mood but still wants to be involved in some way) like a good boy before he closes the door behind himself. then he climbs into bed on your other side, under the covers and cuddling up to you with his head on your shoulder, one big arm going on you too, just under han’s dumb arm and above chan’s being.
now. we got, chan’s face still on your tummy, han’s face in your tits, changbin’s face tucked into your neck, his thigh just where his underwear ends next to chan’s head, and han’s foot still living happily between chan’s asscheeks. chan doesn’t mention it. han sure as fuck doesn’t notice.
you hum, a little sleepy. “seungmin is gonna be so fucking mad when he finds out he missed this. left out again. he’s gonna lose his shit. someone should text him.”
han lifts his pretty head to nod. “yeah. last time he found out we had group time without him he got so pissed he took it out on that one delivery guy. seungmin dragged him into the alley, beat his face in with the pizza box, then used the guy’s own belt to strangle him. the pizza was cold by the time we ate it. sad.”
changbin noses at your skin. “or remember when han accidentally sat in min’s favorite spot on the couch? he didn’t say anything, just waited until han went to take a piss, then followed him into the bathroom, slammed his head into the mirror three times, and made him apologize to the toilet while bleeding everywhere.”
han giggles. “yeah!! my forehead scar is from that! looks kinda cool though. he said ‘next time i’ll use the plunger’ and i believed him so i don’t sit there anymore.”
you snort, still playing with chan’s hair. “jesus. and the stranger thing last month?”
han is visibly excited to tell you about that, foot flexing happily between chan’s cheeks. “oh oh!! seungmin was already mad because jeongin stole his last cigarette, so when this random dude at the gas station bumped into him and didn’t say sorry, he grabbed the guy by the hair, slammed his face into the pump like eight times, then ripped the nozzle out and shoved it down the dude’s throat. started pumping gas straight into his stomach. guy died. we had to hose min off.”
changbin sighs into your shoulder. “he does get… creative when he’s angry. last time he thought chan was hogging you too much he keyed chan’s car with the word ‘selfish’ and then slashed all four tires. chan just fixed it and told seungmin to grow up. seungmin punched a hole in the wall after.”
“he’s lucky i like you more than i like my car.” chan mumbles into your stomach.
“mhm.” comes from han. “he also stabbed jeongin in the thigh with a fork then. jeongin screamed so loud felix dropped his human finger sandwich. he still walks funny sometimes. anyway, he can stay mad. i’m comfy. can i sleep here forever? even if seungmin comes home and tries to castrate me with a spoon?” home. like aw his psycho brain recognized this place as home.
changbin yawns, cuddling closer. “he probably will try. but i’ll protect you. mostly. unless he brings the brick again.” the brick. what could have that been.
you hum an agreement out. too lazy to speak. (but not to play with chan’s hair)
yeah long story short seungmin did end up losing his shit the next morning.
he walked in, already tired and done with everything(but when is he not) saw the four of you tangled up naked and cuddly, and went aaaall the fuck out. didn’t touch you, didn’t even look at you wrong. you’re his god. instead he grabbed changbin by the throat, slammed him into the wall, and started hitting him. men.
changbin, brutal respect to him here(zero respect he’s a murderer), took the first three punches like a champ, blood already dripping from his lip, before he finally swung back because seungmin wasn’t stopping.
they took it to the living room. seungmin headbutted changbin, so he picked seungmin up and body slammed him through the coffee table. seungmin came up laughing like a fucking maniac, genuinely what the fuck is his problem, tackled changbin into the tv, and they rolled around punching and choking and bleeding all over your floor.
they finally stopped when seungmin bit changbin’s shoulder hard enough to draw blood and make him unable to use that arm since the muscle hurt that much and changbin accidentally elbowed him in the balls. both of them ended up on the floor panting, covered in each other’s blood, too tired to keep going.
you made them both clean the mess while you and chan and han ate in bed.
but seungmin never once got mad at you. not even a little. you’re the only thing in his life that doesn’t get this treatment. you’re sacred.
he respects you like crazy. dead serious.
example, last week you told him “minnie, babe, can you keep an eye on felix? i won’t be home and he keeps chasing the mailman and i’m tired of it.”
“got it.”
later you come home and felix is tied to a kitchen chair with zip ties and a gag in his mouth. gnawing on the gag making happy cannibal noises but doesn’t move an inch. package is sitting untouched on the counter. that night you licked seungmin head to toe for that. he melted the fuck away. submissive babe.
another time you’re running late and you text him “make sure han eats something before 8pm. he gets hangry and starts humping the furniture.”
seungmin replies with a thumbs up emoji (which is the most effort he ever puts into texting). when you get home han is sitting at the table eating a full plate of spaghetti while seungmin stands over him with crossed arms. han has sauce all over his face and is mumbling “this is so good bro thank you”
you once told him “if jeongin is in the kitchen for more than twenty minutes, drag his ass outside and make him run laps until he keeps his cocktail recipes to himself.”
next day jeongin comes back sweaty and red faced, thighs burning, muttering “seungmin made me sprint while he timed me.”
seungmin just shrugs when you look at him. “he did eight laps. you’re welcome.”
you told him once that the group chat was getting too spammy and you wanted one day of peace. he immediately changed the group name to “shut the fuck up unless someone’s dead” and then threatened to remove anyone’s tongue if they messaged you after 8pm. jeongin sent a dick pic next to a corpse at 8:45. seungmin showed up at jeongin’s place ten minutes later with a pair of pliers. innie still can’t feel his left pinky. you took this rule out of order because you knew worse shit will happen.
he’s a violent, mean, sick fuck to everyone else on the planet, but the second you speak he turns into the most loyal little dog who ever lived. it’s actually kinda hot.
anyway.
days later you told the others you needed one single afternoon of peace with just changbin. they all whined except seungmin, and he teamed up with jeongin and hyunjin to entertain han for the day. they took him to the zoo.
han, to start the day, tried to climb into the monkey enclosure but luckily fell off. jeongin flirted with three different zookeepers trying to get them to let han “pet the big cats.” hyunjin drew the penguins and showed it to the sea lions. seungmin mostly stood there smoking, threatening to skin anyone who looked at the others wrong, but even he cracked a smile when han tried to hug a llama and got spit on.
at some point hyunjin stood at the lion exhibit monologuing about how the lions understood his pain and maybe he should just live in the savanna now. why is he fucking hilarious. han tried to feed the monkeys his own fingers. seungmin slapped his hand away. jeongin tried to steal a peacock feather for you and got chased by security. hyunjin cried because the butterflies were “too free and i am trapped in my longing for y/n.” seungmin threatened to throw all three of them into the shark tank if they didn’t behave. they behaved for exactly eleven minutes before han saw the gift shop and sprinted inside.
by noon, he almost got fucking bitten like three times. he kept pointing at every animal and yelling for the others to look too, jeongin flirted with the zookeeper girl so hard she gave him free popcorn, then immediately turned around and told hyunjin “she’s nothing compared to y/n.” they lost hyunjin for twelve whole minutes. he was talking with a dad whose kid was running around screaming.
at the end of the day they had dirt on then, ice cream, and a new knife. jeongin had hickeys from making out with the gift shop girl who slapped him after he moaned “y/n” into the kiss. he really did it just to imagine it was you kissing him. hyunjin was quietly crying into his notebook.
which brings us here.
you and changbin are finally alone in the big corner bathtub, water hot enough that steam is fogging the mirror and changbin is fucking dying inside but would rather boil alive than complain. the jets are not on a big setting, so they’re just working a bit on binnie’s back, and the whole bathroom smells like your fancy bath salts that you love and of course the boys will buy for you!!
the water is perfect for you, relaxing, changbin is lowkey dying. his chest and shoulders are turning red from the heat, little beads of sweat rolling down his temples, but he doesn’t say a single word. whatever you want goes.
you’re straddling his lap facing him, arms around his neck. his hands rest gently on your hips under the water, giving you all the love his sick little heart has.
you lean in and kiss him softly, lips sliding together warm and wet from the steam. really wet, he has to die from the heat. send help. but he kisses back just as gentle, tongue brushing yours in wet little strokes. you pull back a little, smile, then kiss him again, noses bumping, water sloshing quietly around you. creates a nice atmosphere.
your hands go down to move up and down his sides, nails dragging lightly over his wet skin. just teasing, running from his ribs down to his hips and back up again. naked men hips are breathtaking, on all eight of them.
every touch makes changbin shiver even in the boiling water. he makes a soft little sound into your mouth, almost a little moan, and kisses you again, sweeter. he could do this for hours and never get tired. well maybe he could pass out from the heat instead whatever.
you tilt your head, kiss the corner of his mouth, then his bottom lip, sucking on it gently before sliding your tongue back in. his hands tighten on your hips, then relaxes again, brain trying to deal with all these feelings.
you keep running your nails up his sides, soothing. he shudders, has to pull away to breathe for a second, then captures your mouth again in another kiss. innocent one.
his hands slide up from your hips, slow. sweet, not the palms that break bones but the palms that find your tits, cupping them both from underneath. so precious to him. he’s holding. thumbs brushing little circles over the soft skin next to your nipples, the more inside of your boobs, closer to your sternum. so loving. a man’s love, for you.
his psycho mind is still catching up to all of this, you can tell. the only high he ever chased was the wet pop of a neck snapping or the way blood sprayed across his face when he carved someone the fuck up. that was love to him. that was everything. (and his car. he loves that car.)
now he feels for you. love. actual love. really a still going crush that makes his chest hurt in the middle of a kill and get him excited that he’ll get to see you later.
but god, it also makes him do shit like this.
he leans in and kisses you again, wetter, weaker this time, mouth slow and so fucking sweet. his lips are plush from the steam, a little swollen already from how long you’ve been making out. he parts them on yours, tongue sliding in, tasting the inside of your mouth, he’s got all day to explore after all.
no rush.
just gentle, the soft suck of his bottom lip pulling yours in, then releasing, then doing it again.
you feel the way his jaw moves under your palm when you cup his face, the pretty shape of it flexing while he kisses you. it’s so intimate. only you can give him this.
one of his hands stays on your tit, while the other slides down your side, not once leaving your beloved skin, all the way to your ass. grips it gently, palm full of you, pulling you bit closer so your chests press together.
his little tummy squishes nice against your stomach when you settle in, so attractive. combined with the manly smell of him, intoxicating. plus he’s sweating so much now the water on his shoulders looks like it’s glowing under the bathroom light, fucking droplets sliding down his body before disappearing into the tub.
even though nothing about this is sexual to him right now (he’s not thinking about fucking, he’s thinking about how you feel, how much he loves you, how lucky he is), his cock is hard between you anyway. pressed up against your mound under the water, twitching everytime you shift or your nails drag up his face, or down to his side again. so sweet, the little guy reacting too.
he doesn’t even acknowledge it, though. just keeps kissing you, the hard on is nothing, something his body does because it’s stupid and in love.
every pass of your nails on his body earns you a tiny sound from him, little moans. so cute.
he kisses you harder for a second, tongue moving around yours, then pulls back to breathe. he needs it.
you drag your nails up his ribs again, slow, smiling at him, and he shudders, hard, mouth going back to yours immediately. he smiles into the kiss, the cutie(only feels excitement when snuffing out a human life) can’t help it, and tries to pulls you closer by the ass, just to feel more of you on him. his sweaty chest slides against your tits, the hand still cupping one of them giving the softest squeeze... was that a giggle he let out against your lips?
this is what you did to him. turned a man who only ever got hard from the smell of blood into someone who gets hard from your smile and your nails and the way you look at him.
he pulls back just a tiny baby bit, side of his nose brushing the side of yours.
“…y/n.”
“mm?”
he swallows, pink face somehow getting even pinker. “it’s… so hot.”
you giggle. he thinks you’re beautiful. “the water, baby? or me?”
“the water.” he mumbles, looking guilty. “i mean you too. but i’m boiling alive. my skin feels like it’s gonna peel off.”
you laugh, tilting your head back. he’d die for you. “and you didn’t say shit?” you lean back in, kiss the tip of his nose, then his flushed cheek. “get the fuck out then. go cool off.”
he moans. maybe at the relief, maybe because he doesn’t want to leave your touch yet.
you pat his chest. “go. i’ll follow in a minute. promise.”
he nods, presses one last slow kiss to your mouth, a little long, but no tongue this time, then carefully lifts you off his lap and sets you back down in the water. the jets keep working on your prettt back as he stands up.
fuck, the view.
water runs off his body, in sheets, on his muscles, his shape, his little soft tummy, water dripping from his still hard cock that bobs between his thick thighs. his skin is almost red everywhere the water touched. chest, shoulders, arms, even the tops of his ears. the nail marks you left on his sides stand out. the hickeys you sucked into his neck look almost purple now, they fit him. you almost wrap a hand around his cock, it’s so there, but really don’t want him overheating so you behave. he steps out of the tub carefully, feet leaving wet prints on the rug you love so much and hit felix once with when he was bad, and reaches for the towel hanging on the rack.
you watch every second of it. chewing on your nail.
the way his back muscles shift when he grabs the towel, the long red scratches you put there. the way his ass flexes, round, soft. the way his little tummy jiggles just slightly when he turns to face you again, towel in hand, cock still hard, now not visible because the towel in his hand just hangs over it. it hasn’t gotten the memo that nothing dirty is up.
he starts drying off slowly, rubbing the towel over his chest, down his stomach, on the scratches, then lower, patting his thighs dry while water keeps dripping from his hair onto his shoulders. fuck.
the way you’re biting your lips, he’s resisting the urge to dive back into the water to you.
towel now wrapped around his hips so it barely covers the bulge, he leans down, presses a quick kiss to the top of your head. “i’ll be in the bedroom. take your time.”
you watch him walk out, towel moving on his cute little ass.
the door clicks shut behind him, leaving you alone in the hot water with a stupid smile on your face.
weird.
duality of man. killer but also oh i won’t say anything about my organs getting boiled because y/n is comfy.
y/n is comfy.
you sink a little deeper into the water, grinning, letting the heat soak into you while you picture his cute ass in the bedroom, probably lying on the bed in just the towel, fanning himself, waiting patiently for you. the best boy.
yeah long story short after you got out of that boiling tub you rode him to almost death.
he was waiting on the bed in just a towel like you imagined he would, still pink and sweaty, looking at you with those big shining eyes. (those only go for his lady, no victim or hyunjin puking at home could make him feel what you feel) you climbed on top of him, pushed him flat, and took what you wanted. rode him until he was shaking, until his eyes rolled back, until he came so hard he went cross eyed and almost passed out. then you kept going until you got yours too, grinding down on him while he whimpered and begged and told you he loved you.
afterward he just laid there like a dead man, chest heaving, covered in fresh scratches and hickeys, towel long gone, cock soft and messy against his thigh. you curled up on his little tummy like it was a pillow and passed out with his arm around you.
next morning.
but today’s mission is simpler.
take felix to his doctor’s check up.
dumb fuck knows the way to your place at least(one of the things he doesn’t forget)
when he arrives he’s wearing one of your stolen hoodies, baby give it back, (oh he’ll get the bathroom mat again for that), and a pair of sweatpants that are backwards. his hair is not messy, surprisingly.
“y/n, we’re going to the doctor together, a date!”
you sigh and walk over to fix his pants(expensive pants, wtf) the right way around. he giggles the whole time, blushing when you pull his pants down and also blushing when you pull them up. “felix, baby, pants go front first. we talked about this.”
“oh. right.“ then he leans in and nuzzles your neck, breathing you in. “you smell like binnie. that’s nice.”
you pat his head, fingers sliding through his soft hair. he’s so stupidly beautiful. why does he have to eat magazines and people?
“come on, dummy. shoes on. let’s not be late.”
you finally get him out the door. he holds your hand the entire walk to the car, swinging your arm, and every few steps he stops to point at random shit.
“look, a bird. do you think it has feelings? i have feelings now. mostly about meat and you.” “that cloud looks like a kidney. i’m hungry now.”
he’s not fucking brain dead, no matter how much we refer to him to as one, so you don’t even have to tell him to buckle himself in. literally the dumbest thing anyone can do is not buckle themselves in. please i’m begging you to and stay safe.
“you’re so pretty. and smart. and you let me sleep in your bed sometimes.” he tells you while you drive.
“thank you, lix.”
crazy. a pretty face that makes people do double takes right before he rips their throat out with his teeth. and last week he bought you a diamond necklace. the range these boys move on is unbelievable. and sweet, considering that you’re their first… first of most things. there’s only one of you in their lives, like a “once-in-a-lifetime connection, essentially love at first sight” says google about a zing from hotel transylvania. “where monsters immediately identify their soulmate.” our only off here is that it wasn’t an immediate realization, anyways “it represents an undeniable, electric attraction, bla bla bla(i’m skipping sentences here, not quoting dracula) that often leads to a lifelong bond.” there we go. you’re their almost zing.
the waiting room is quiet. normal people. magazines (the ones he hasn’t eaten at home). his pretty ass sits next to you, looking around.
“remember what i told you in the car?”
he nods. “mhm. no talking about eating people. no talking about the mailman. no talking about killing. or the boys.”
“good boy.”
the nurse calls you both and she’s immediately smitten with you. her eyes light up when she sees how gently you’re guiding felix by the hand. she chats with you the whole time you’re in the exam room while felix sits on the paper covered table swinging his legs.
“he’s so lucky to have you.” she says warmly while taking his vitals. “most patients his age come in alone and act like it’s the end of the world. you two are adorable.”
felix smiles at her, then at you, then leans over and tries to rest his head on your chest right there in front of her. “she’s the best. i love her so much i’d die for her. or kill for her. or—”
“lix.” you cut in sweetly.
“—or just be really good and not say anything weird.” he finishes, giggling.
he’s so underweight the scale actually beeps in concern when they weigh him.
the nurse frowns at the number. “he’s lost three more pounds since last visit. are you sure he’s eating enough?”
you sigh and launch into the usual cover story while felix distracts himself by counting the dots on the ceiling tiles out loud. “he’s just got a crazy fast metabolism. burns everything off. we try to keep him on high calorie stuff but he’s picky. likes… meat. a lot of meat.”
felix perks up. “yeah, big chunks of meat. sometimes raw if i’m in a hurry—”
“cooked.” you interrupt smoothly, shooting him a look. “always cooked. he’s just dramatic about textures.”
the nurse nods sympathetically, clearly buying it because you’re so calm and put together and she already likes you.
she starts checking his arms and freezes when she sees the mess. bite marks. deep ones. some fresh, some old and scarred over. bruises in the shape of fingers, knuckles, teeth. scars. one perfect crescent bite right above his elbow that definitely came from changbin during one of their play fights.
“oh my… what happened here?” she asks, concerned.
felix giggles again, swinging his legs harder. “oh those? that’s from—”
you clamp a hand over his fuckass mouth and lean in to whisper to the nurse. “he’s… a little mentally disabled, you know? just a touch. gets confused sometimes. wanders off, bumps into things, doesn’t always understand personal space.” fucking lie. there is nothing wrong with felix that can be diagnosed. well, except him being a total psycho, but that has nothing to do with him being dumb. he really is just this empty. but that’s not a disability. “he doesn’t know he’s different. we try not to make him feel bad about it. the bruises are from him playing too rough with the other boys at home. and the bite marks, well, he gets excited and nibbles when he’s happy. like a puppy.”
the nurse’s eyes go big immediately. she nods. “oh, bless his heart. that makes so much sense. you’re such a good girlfriend.”
felix is sitting on the table swinging his legs, humming a little song under your hand while he stares at the poster of the human digestive system. every few seconds he reaches out to touch your arm or your hair, smiling when you let him.
you take the hand away, keep chatting with the nurse while she checks more of him. she asks about his diet again and you spin the same story “he only likes certain textures, lots of protein, we’re trying to get him to eat more veggies but it’s a process.” you don’t mention that his version of protein usually comes from humans and the changes in weight is because he can’t always get what he’s craving, throws tantrums and doesn’t eat or eats lots at one sitting or just a little fruit plate you made him. he’s okay, no reason to worry about his weight, it always changes and he’s doing fine. human is just… not what usually humans eat.
the nurse looks horrified but also impressed by how casually you handle it. “that sounds exhausting for you. you’re such a good partner taking him to all these appointments.”
felix leans over and plants a loud, wet kiss on your cheek, leaving a little spit trail. “she’s the best partner. i’d eat the world for her. wait no, i’d buy her the world.“
you pat his head, smiling at the nurse.
she laughs softly, clearly charmed by the whole thing. “you two are honestly the cutest couple i’ve seen in months. most guys his age are rude. he’s an angel.”
felix smiles. “thank you.”
the nurse melts. “oh my gosh, he’s adorable. so innocent.”
you manage to keep a straight face. innocent. sure. the same guy who rips people apart with his bare hands and teeth.
okay. doctor. another woman. when the doctor tries to check his blood pressure and he starts giggling uncontrollably because “the squeeze feels funny!! like when seungmin chokes me but nicer!!”
when she asks him to open his mouth for the tongue depressor he sticks his tongue out as far as it goes and tries to lick the stick.
you have to physically hold his hand down when she goes for the reflex hammer because he keeps trying to snatch it.
the doctor ends up looking at you. “does he… always do this?”
“yes.” you say flatly. “every single day.”
doctor looks at the nurse. nurse nods in confirmation. great.
“any recent injuries?”
“uhhh i cut my finger last week but then i ate the scab so it’s fine now!!”
“any dietary concerns?”
“i only eat… beef.“ that was a taught answer.
“any sexual activity?”
“y/n and me haven’t had sex yet but i really really want to. she lets me cuddle though and that’s almost as good. sometimes i hump her leg when she’s sleeping but i think that’s normal right?”
you smack his arm. “felix.”
“sorry!!” he giggles, not sorry at all.
the doctor just sighs and moves on.
blood draw, felix sits there swinging his legs, holding your hand, and when the needle goes in he doesn’t even react??? fucking crazy, what he is.
on the way out he gets a lollipop. he unwraps it, sucks on it happily, leaning against you in the parking lot, so pretty it hurts.
“that was fun.” he mumbles around the lollipop. “can we come back next week? i wanna see if they have bigger lollipops. i want you to take me the next time too.”
you sigh, pull him down by the collar of your hoodie to kiss his forehead. he calms down immediately, eyes closing, making a dumb happy noise in his throat.
so. getting back to your place, finally, holding felix’s hand while the other unlocks your door.
han is on your couch, legs kicked up on the coffee table, looking too hot and manly like that for the fact that he’s watching a cartoon about talking animals solving mysteries. a really colorful cartoon. next to him, also watching the dumb cartoon, is hyunjin. grown ass, pretty as sin hyunjin, one elbow on the armrest, temple resting on two fingers, eyebrow pushed up so high it’s basically in his hairline. his face screams i am getting closer to the void and also why the fuck is this rabbit wearing pants. think of the steve harrington picture in tiktok comment sections.
it’s fucking hilarious.
you pat felix’s back. “go play with them, baby.”
“okay!” he skips over (actual skips) and drops himself right between han and hyunjin.
now it’s han on the right, giggling and pointing at the screen, felix in the middle swinging his legs and making little “hehehe” sounds, and hyunjin on the left still doing the exact same temple finger pose, eyebrow frozen in existential crisis.
you shake your head and head toward the kitchen.
changbin is standing by the counter in nothing but sweatpants(that he left at your place for occasions exactly like these, just a reminder, you two fucked last night) the second he sees you his whole face does that adorable thing, big dumb smile breaking out, shoulders dropping, his posture getting better. there are faint nail marks visible across his sides, one dark hickey peeking above the waistband.
he meets you halfway, arms already open.
you cup his face and kiss him soft and sweet. he melts into it immediately, like melts, big hands settling gently on your waist, humming happily into your mouth.
“missed you.” he mumbles when he pulls away. “how was the doctor?”
“fine. he didn’t slip. you guys described it as worse.”
“because with us, it is.”
over at the kitchen counter seungmin and jeongin are sitting on the stools, seungmin is shoveling cereal into his mouth, while jeongin gestures with his spoon. they both waved when you came in.
“—so then i told the guy if he screamed again i’d shove the pliers up his urethra instead of his nose.” seungmin says around a mouthful of cereal.
jeongin nods. “solid. i prefer the slow eyeball route. makes them really panic, y’know?”
“yeah but eyeballs pop too fast. nose takes longer.”
you sigh and reach over to grab jeongin’s empty bowl. seungmin still has half a bowl left so you leave his alone. you rinse jeongin’s out quick, put it into the dishwasher, then, a loud crash comes from the bathroom. something heavy hitting tile, followed by a grunt and the sound of something hitting the wall.
you stop.
from the couch han yells without looking away from the cartoon “minho and chan are in there settling something!!”
hyunjin is still not breaking eye contact with the talking rabbit. “they’ve been at it for twenty minutes. something about whose turn it was to hide the last body.”
whatever. they’ll sort it out.
seungmin finally glances at you, spoon halfway to his mouth. “you good?”
“yeah. it’s fine.”
jeongin looks up at you. sweet boy. (if we made a chart of who’s the worst from the boys he’d be in the top three) “want me to go break it up?”
“no. let them fight. they’ll tire themselves out.”
another crash, this one sounds like the toilet paper holder getting ripped clean off the wall and then immediately used as a weapon. there’s a wet smack, then a low grunt from chan that turns into a growl. something heavy drags across the floor. then a loud metallic clang that can only be the shower curtain rod being bent into a new shape.
you sigh. “whatever.“
comes the sound of a head being bounced off the sink. then the unmistakable noise of the medicine cabinet exploding open, bottles and tubes falling, then plastic crack against bone.
wetness that sounds suspiciously like someone’s face getting pressed into the toilet bowl, followed by gurgling and chan laughing. then a high pitched metallic screech as the towel rack gets torn off the wall.
glass shatters, probably the mirror, and there’s another crash. then a wet slap like someone just got bitch slapped onto the wet tile, followed by both of them breathing hard and… is that minho laughing?
you keep loading the dishwasher, rinsing a spoon, plates.
more thuds, the crack of knuckles against jaw, mean groaning, the shower turning on by accident and spraying water everywhere, someone slipping and eating shit with a loud “fuck—” then both of them cursing at the same time.
men.
silence.
the bathroom door finally opens. out stumble minho and chan looking… fucking horrible, jesus.
both shirtless, obviously. clothes got shredded somewhere between the sink and the shower curtain. chan’s got his left eye shut, swelling, a perfect imprint of your toilet brush handle branded across his cheek, and three long gashes across his chest that look suspiciously like they came from minho’s nails trying to claw his heart out for sport. there’s a fork, a FUCKING DINNER FORK sticking straight out of his left shoulder, blood trickling down his abs. more bruises on his ribs already. what happened to his nipple?
minho’s not doing any better. he’s limping hard on his right leg because there’s a broken piece of the shower curtain rod jammed into his thigh. what the fuck. blood’s soaking his pants. his whole torso is filled with bite marks, type shit anger makes men do, and his neck has a perfect circle of teeth where chan tried to rip his throat out. one of his ears is red and bloody, and there’s soap still bubbling in a nasty open cut across his forehead. he’s leaning sideways, same as chan.
you whine. “boys!”
they both freeze. chan tries to play it chill, blood dripping off his chin, but even he looks sheepish. minho just stares at you with those dead creepy eyes, blood trickling down his temple.
you point at the kitchen stools. “sit! fuck’s sake.”
they drag their feet over and drop onto the stools with grunts of pain. chan winces when the fork in his shoulder shifts. minho’s whole being makes a wet squelch.
the other three in the kitchen watch the whole thing, eyebrows raised. not at the injuries, just trying to guess it you’re gonna freak out internally or you’ll break a wooden spoon on their heads.
you grab the giant fucking first aid kit from under the sink (the one that’s basically a hospital in a box at this point, you need it with them) and stand between chan’s spread knees. first the fork. you grip the handle gentle, thumb stroking his collarbone to distract him.
“deep breath.”
you yank. chan hisses through his teeth. blood wells up and you immediately press a thick pad of gauze to the hole, holding it firm while you murmur “good boy, that’s it, almost done.”
you tape it down tight, then move to the toilet brush imprint on his cheek. you dab it with antiseptic, lots of it, blowing cool air on the sting. he could snap a neck one handed. “this one’s gonna bruise pretty. makes you look tough though. my tough man.” he leans into your touch, looking up at you. such a pathetic little sweetpea. (worst man to exist)
next the chest gashes. you clean each one with a warm cloth, wiping away blood, then smear antibiotic over the red lines. the other four watch your ass while you do it. some of jeongin’s drool end up on the countertop.
you save the (looks like bitten) nipple for last. it’s swollen and angry and… seeping a little. you clean it extra gentle, tongue clicking softly. “minho really went for blood huh?”
by the time you’re done with him he has gauze everywhere, tape crisscrossing his chest, but at least he’s not leaking on your floor anymore. looks good though. new thing to try in the bedroom.
now minho.
you look at the curtain rod in his thigh. “boys?”
jeongin immediately stands up. “of course.”
changbin holds minho’s shoulders. “i’m here.”
seungmin is lazy to help. just sits there with his now finished bowl, also lazy to put that into the dishwasher, watching the two other boys fight the rod out of minho’s leg.
they succeed. the rod comes out with a wet schlick and a fresh gush of blood.
you shove gauze into the injury immediately, your other arm curling around his pretty head to rock him a little. “there you go, deep breaths, i got you.” he gets a head kiss too. “innie, can you get his pants?”
“yeah.”
minho holds into you. arms around you. he’s adorable.
when he gets minho’s pants off for you, you wrap the whole thing, around and around his thick leg(hot) until it looks like he’s wearing a cast.
you move up to the ear next. it looks horrible. you clean the torn, TORN parts, murmuring “pretty boy” he holds onto your hip, eyes squeezed, breathing hard.
but survives. gets a temple kiss and a “good as new.” from you when he’s done.
the bite marks across his torso take forever. there’s like twenty of them, some overlapping though. you clean every single one, slow and loving, so loving, wiping away dried blood and fresh fluids, then smoothing ointment over each perfect imprint of chan’s teeth.
minho feels crazy. crazy in love. and crazy violent from it. he feels like he’s going to blow up.
you finish with the cut on his forehead. you wipe it clean, dab some cream on it, then press a butterfly bandage over it while blowing gently on the sting. “all done, creepy.”
meanwhile, oh your fucking god, the shit jeongin and seungmin talk about. just running their mouths.
jeongin: “look at her go. nurse y/n in the house. bet she’s got better bedside manner than the one who stitched my dick back together last month.”
seungmin, when he had a mouth full of cereal: “minho’s thigh looks like a glory hole.”
“a hole is a hole, bro.”
changbin gives your back a supportive caress from time to time. at least he’s helpful.
in the living room, han keeps tugging on hyunjin’s sleeve, watching the dog fly on some cheese rocket now. what the fuck are they watching seriously. “hyune, look!! the dog’s flying, that’s so cool! do you think i could fly if i ate enough cheese too??”
felix tugs the other sleeve. “hyunjin hyunjin hyunjin!! what if the cheese was made of people?? would it fly faster??”
hyunjin sighs through his nose. “yes, han. flying cheese is a legitimate theoretical concept in cartoon physics. and no, lix, human cheese would probably just smell bad and attract more cannibals. now watch the rabbit, he’s about to say something stupid.”
back in the kitchen you step back and look at your work. gauze, tape, bandages, kisses on every injury. both of them are still leaning sideways but at least they’re not bleeding on your floor anymore. you did great.
you wipe your hands on a towel and plant a hand on each of their heads, ruffling minho’s hair and smoothing chan’s. “you two are idiots. next time settle it by arm wrestling like normal men.”
chan hums. minho’s pretty ass just stares up at you with those wet eyes. you fixed more than just the holes in his body.
felix tugs hyunjin’s sleeve again. “hyu!! the cheese is winning!!”
hyunjin sighs. “yes. the cheese is indeed victorious. profound metaphor for life.” ???
“yo.” jeongin says, holding his pretty face in his hands. “this is exactly like that time hyunjin and seungmin went for each other’s throats in the woods house. remember? shit was biblical, bro.”
seungmin sighs. “biblical my ass. pretty emo bitch tried to slit my throat with a fucking wine opener.”
changbin bounces a little against the counter. “i was there. thought we were gonna have to bury one of them in the backyard. or both.”
minho looks up at you(he looks like a wet kitten) and then back at the others. “hyunjin ended up with a corkscrew through his left nut.”
chan nods, watching the floor. “yeah. he tried to stab min with the fireplace poker. missed and put it through his own foot instead. then seungmin shoved his head into the deer head mounted on the wall. hyunjin looked horrible. then they started rolling around on the rug. seungmin ended up with a black eye shaped exactly like hyunjin’s ring. hyune had teeth marks on his ass so deep we could read min’s dental records.”
jeongin leans forward. “don’t forget the part where seungmin tried to drown hyunjin in the hot tub. then hyunjin started talking about how min’s mother was a whore while bleeding from the mouth. seungmin threw him through the glass coffee table. hyunjin had glass shards in his back for days.“
“still managed to kick me in the balls so hard i pissed blood for three days.” seungmin mutters.
“but you ripped his pants off with teeth and then tried to shove a whole fucking log up his ass as revenge.“ jeongin says.
“then he smashed my face into an anthill.” god, seungmin being bratty is so hot.
chan shifts, even though it clearly hurts his ribs. “they both ended up tied to the same tree with duct tape because we got tired of the noise.”
“okay but what even is the woods house?” you ask.
changbin is a babe. “it was this rich victim’s vacation cabin. super cool, big stone fireplace, hot tub on the deck overlooking the lake, full kitchen, basement we turned into a playroom for… you know, guests who don’t leave. sorry. innie put the deed in his own name after we cleaned the place out, so now it’s technically ours. we go there sometimes.”
jeongin wiggles his eyebrows at you. “and it’s been way too long since we went. the hot tub’s probably lonely. the basement’s collecting dust. we should all go. take you with us this time, y/n.“
seungmin leans down to slap the side of your thigh. “yeah. i could chase you through the trees a little. hm?”
“ew ew ew.” jeongin puts his hands up. “not in front of me, bro.”
“pussy.”
minho’s creepy eyes actually sparkle for once. “i could show you the basement. lots of hooks. soundproof.” ???
chan grunts in agreement, looking half asleep on his stool. “you’d like it.”
“hyunjin!! hyunjin!!”
“dude look!! they’re getting married!!”
“hush.”
you smile.
chan finally pushes himself up from the stool with a groan, his little fork hole hurting. he gives minho one or those manly pats on the shoulder, good fight, no hard feelings, they’ll do it again next week. then he limps over to you, presses a soft, lingering peck to your lips. “i’m gonna go lie down before i fall over. thanks for patching us up.“
you kiss him back gently, thumb brushing his bruised cheek. “go rest. yell if you need anything.”
chan limps off toward the bedroom, still leaning sideways. he looks horrible and also unbelievably hot. like bandages stay ON.
you lean back against the counter, listening to your leftover boys in the kitchen plan their cute little vacation. like aw. they’re men and they want to be there with their friends and they’ll go. aww.
“hyunjin, the rabbit’s throwing the bouquet, catch it!”
“sure.”
you turn back to minho. he looks horrible. “you gonna be fine, creepy? need anything before i—”
“y/n!!”
“y/n y/n y/n!!”
what NOW. you look over. han and felix are both half standing, leaning over the back of the couch. huge puppy eyes. han’s waving both arms. felix is bouncing on his toes, hoodie sleeves flapping. fucking twink.
“come sit!l
“please please please we saved you the best spot, it’s warm!”
seungmin grunts, spoon scraping the bottom of his bowl. “let her go.“
changbin leans over and kisses the side of your head, sweet as ever. “go on.“
you sigh, give minho’s cute little psycho head a pat, and head for the couch before the begging turns into actually yanking at your clothes.
you sit down between felix and hyunjin. han needs to learn that he doesn’t get to have you every single time just because he’s loud and cute and dumb, even if we’re starting with small steps like this, sitting only a person away.
felix’s arm wraps around yours, fingers lacing with yours so he can hold your hand against his chest. oh he disgustingly in love, nuzzling into your shoulder, humming happily, leg thrown over your thigh.
on your other side hyunjin shifts to drape his arm along the back of the couch behind you.
han whines from the other end. “but i wanted to sit next to her, i saved the spot with my butt warmth.”
felix giggles and nuzzles closer to your arm. “too slow.”
you ignore han completely and turn your head toward hyunjin. “what’s up? you okay?”
“mm.” he says, thumb moving to stroke your neck. he’d like that if you did that to him one day. “how are the wounded soldiers? did you have to perform surgery with a spoon again?”
you hum and lean into his side a little. “the usual. they behaved.”
from your right felix tugs your arm, trying to get your attention. “y/n y/n look, the dog is in court.”
you don’t even glance at him. keep your eyes on hyunjin. “tell me more. how you feeling?”
hyunjin’s eyes actually sparkle a little. you caring about him drives him crazy. makes him forget all the dread that the picture of you kissing his roommate on his bed brings to him.
han leans over felix’s lap. “y/n, the cheese just exploded into glitter, look!”
felix whines and pushes han’s head away gently with his free hand while still clinging to your arm with the other. “stop it, she’s talking to hyunjin… but y/n the glitter cheese is really funny though.”
you reach over with your free hand, pat felix’s head once without breaking eye contact with hyunjin, then pull your hand away. han makes noise and flops backward, arms crossed, pouting.
han will learn eventually. or he won’t.
“you didn’t answer me earlier.” felix says, voice softer. so deep, so cute. “i asked you something.”
you watch hyunjin’s face. “they told me about that house in the woods.”
“yeah?” he says.
you nod. “they said it’s under innie’s name. invited me.”
felix tugs at your arm. “hey.”
han leans over again. “what are you talking about, what house?”
hyunjin exhales quietly through his nose. the fucking dog keeps talking on the tv. “they would. show off a little.”
“been there?”
“few times.”
“they said it’s quiet.”
“it is.”
“and kinda hidden.”
“very.”
his hand slides slightly, fingers on your arm.
“why aren’t you answering?” felix says, insistent. “i’m talking to you.”
han makes another noise, frustrated. “yeah, why aren’t you?”
it’s like they don’t exist. it’s killing them.
hyunjin has to hold back a smirk. like a cocky smirk. this feels good after his little heartbreak. let’s not forget that these boys are pure evil, after all, them being funny and in love with you doesn’t change the way they act with each other. unfair assholes.
“you thinking of coming?” he asks you.
“maybe. they made it sound nice.”
his gaze drops to your mouth. then back up. “it is.”
your shoulder presses a little more into his side. “you’ll come too, right?”
direct.
felix straightens a bit, eyes widening. “hey—what—”
han leans over him again, draping himself across felix now just to get closer to you. “what are you saying?”
hyunjin looks at you more… private. biting his lip. “if you want me there, i’ll be there.”
you smile. his hand moves on your arm.
“okay, no, this is—this is weird.” felix says. “you’re not talking to us.”
han nods. “you’re ignoring us, y/n why are you ignoring us—”
you turn just a bit more toward hyunjin.
his eyes don’t leave yours. “gets real dark out there.”
“you like it?”
“i do.”
“why?”
he tilts his head slightly, considering. “no distractions. just… what’s in front of you.”
your gaze holds his. “and what would that be?”
silence.
“…depends.” he says.
felix makes a frustrated sound, tugging on your arm slightly.
“hey.” han says. “hey, look at me.”
felix whines.
han is trying to catch your eye. “can you—can you look at me for a second—” his posture’s off, his hands keep fidgeting, eyes flicking between your face and hyunjin’s. “did i—did i do something?”
you don’t even glance. hyunjin bites a smile back. he pulls you closer.
han notices that. “okay, no, that’s—hey—that’s not—”
he reaches over felix, trying to touch your arm.
felix holds you closer to him. “no, wait, i’m holding it—”
“move—”
“no—”
they start wrestling over your arm.
you do not acknowledge this. at all. hyunjin watches it happen out of the corner of his eye. takes a slow breath.
“this is so unfair.” felix whispers loudly.
“i know.” han whispers back, equally loud. “she’s not even looking at us.”
“i asked like three times.”
“i asked five.”
“that’s more.”
“i know.”
they both look at you.
you continue ignoring them with impressive consistency.
han makes a small, desperate sound. “i can be quiet, i can—i won’t talk, i’ll just—just—”
felix nods. “yeah, me too. i’ll be quiet.” he lasts exactly two seconds. “…hey.” you don’t react. “…this is really hard.”
“yeah.” han says miserably.
hyunjin runs his hand over your arm. he thinks you’re doing great.
they sit there. quiet. for maybe three whole seconds.
“hey!” both of them at once.
“no.” hyunjin says.
“okay.”
silence again.
“chan.” han blurts out, sudden and loud. “where’s chan?”
“yeah, yeah, get chan, he’ll fix it—”
they both look around. for the first time in, what, an hour? two? han’s hands flap uselessly. they both spin around, searching the room for chan.
chan is nowhere in sight.
there’s a pause.
“…wait.” felix says.
han’s pretty head snaps toward him. “where is he?”
felix looks around again. “he was here. he was just here.”
han’s breathing changes to fast. “no, no, no—he was—he—he was here— where did he go—”
you ignoring them. talking to hyunjin. not looking at them. not answering. and now chan(who usually solves things for them) isn’t even here.
nothing is making sense.
han’s face crumples. “what the fuck? what the fuck is happening—”
“i don’t like this.” felix says, grabbing tighter onto your arm, yanking at it. “i don’t like this at all—”
han lets out the most pathetic sob you’ve ever heard and launches himself over felix and into your lap. his arms lock around your neck so tight you almost choke, face burying into your shoulder. “y/nnnnnn.” he wails, voice muffled and wet and adorable. “don’t ignore us please please we’ll be good we’ll eat vegetables and i’ll stop humping the couch when you’re not looking i swear—”
felix throws himself half on your lap too, arms wrapping around your waist, face pressed into your neck. “y/n we love you so much it hurts when you don’t look at us—my please—“ hic “please still love me!”
they’re heartwarming. big ugly sobs, snotty and loud, bodies shaking on you.
han keeps repeating “y/n” whining for his girlfriend while felix just sobs “we’re sorry we’re sorry we’re so sorry” into your collarbone.
you and hyunjin lock eyes over the top of their heads.
hyunjin’s eyebrow is arched so high it’s basically touching the ceiling. he lets out the longest, most exhausted sigh you’ve ever heard from him.
well. that didn’t work.
“alright, alright.” you murmur. your very loving arms come up, one around han’s back, the other sliding around felix’s waist, pulling both of them in tighter. “shhh, babies. i’m right here. i was just talking to hyunjin for a minute.”
all your they need to learn space effort? completely fucking gone. forget about it.
han is shaking, body convulsing. “i thought—” he starts, then stops because he doesn’t even know what he thought. “you weren’t—i didn’t—just don’t do that—”
“y/nnnn—” felix cries. “you weren’t—why weren’t you—”
“don’t, don’t do that.” han mumbles into your neck. “don’t ignore—euh.”
“i’m right here.” you coo.
“okay, okay.” felix sobs.
hyunjin is… weirdly turned on by this.
“don’t do that again.” han mumbles into your neck. “don’t—don’t pretend i’m not there.”
“i wasn’t pretending.” you say, squeezing felix.
“…you were.” felix insists, but he’s just confused.
“i was making a point.”
“…i didn’t get it.”
“…yeah.” hyunjin mutters. “we noticed.”
you shoot him a look. he lifts his hands slightly. what? it’s true.
han pulls back to look at you, eyes big, glassy, beautiful. “what point?”
“that you can’t have my attention every second.” you say.
“…why not?”
genuine confusion.
felix nods. “yeah.”
“because i’m a person.” you say. “not something you pass around or grab whenever you want. you boys always do this, since the very beginning i met you guys. i need some space too. i always tell you. but you’re right for crying, and i’m sorry i made you feel bad, okay? i was kind of mean, sorry.” means a lot that you teach them that apologizing is mature, that it’s fair, that they should, that recognizing your faults is the right thing to do. “just keep my needs in mind the next time.”
they both go quiet. not because they understand, but because… that sounded important.
“…okay.” han says slowly. “but can i still be here?”
“yes.”
he cuddles back to you.
felix relaxes too with a satisfied little exhale. “okay. that’s fine then.”
that’s all it took.
you lean back into hyunjin again. “they’ll get it eventually.”
“no, they won’t. but it’s cute that you think that.”
you keep rubbing their backs, big slow strokes, pressing little kisses wherever you can reach, han’s forehead, felix’s cheek, the top of han’s ear when he tilts his head.
hyunjin wants to pounce on you.
eventually the sobs go off into wet sniffles and hiccups. han’s death grip around your neck loosens. felix stops shaking and starts making those tiny contented hums he does when he’s happy again. their teary little faces slowly turn back toward the tv. they’re adorable. (ruthless serial killers)
the cheese rocket has landed and now the rabbit is talking to some carrot.
they both go quiet after that, just watching the screen in silence. han’s thumb rubs over your collarbone. felix nibs and drools on your shoulder but you don’t mind now.
you glance at hyunjin again.
“lesson learned?” he murmurs.
“slow steps.” you whisper back, still rubbing han’s back and felix’s hip. “they’ll get there. eventually.”
you’re definitely sucking han off later for this pathetic little performance. but for now you just hold them.
crisis over.
lesson… not really learned.
but attempted.
okay not even attempted because han lets out a shaky little breath on your neck, then another, hotter one, and his arms tighten around you again, but now to hold himself up better.
“y/n, i… i need you…” he whimpers into your neck, voice wet and needy.
lesson definitely not learned.
you close your eyes, taking a big breath, then… then… fuck’s sake he’s humping you.
“han. baby. we’re on the couch. there are people around. public living room. not the time.”
he doesn’t hear you. or he hears you and his single brain cell can’t process what you just said. he nuzzles into your neck, lips on your skin, hips grinding, desperate. “i’m so hard it hurts, please, just a little… i’ll be quick i promise i’ll be so quiet.”
“han.” you hiss, trying to push his hips back gently. “not here. the others are right fucking here.”
“but they’re watching cartoons, they won’t mind, i love you so much my balls feel full and sad…”
hyunjin and felix are watching with enormous eyes.
holding their fucking breath. hyunjin’s eyebrow is frozen in pure fascination, lips slightly parted. his whole body has gone still, drinking in every second of han’s pathetic grinding and whimpering. felix’s eyes are even bigger, hungry, mouth hanging open a little as he stares at the way han’s hips move against you.
they watch, breathing a little faster, clearly turned on by the fact that they’re this close to something they’re not allowed to have yet. it’s hot to them, seeing one of the “chosen four” get needy right in front of them, knowing they don’t get to touch you like that. they don’t get to fuck you, don’t get to be inside you, don’t get to be openly needy like this in front of everyone. but now they see it this close up. voyeuristic.
they’re both leaning in unconsciously, eyes glued to you two. like fucking porn.
you try again, one hand pushing gently at han’s slutty little hip. “han. public. people. stop.”
“but it hurts. please just touch it a little, i’ll be so quick, i promise.”
he needs to be put down. euthanized. neutered. something.
it’s even deeper for the other two after those words because han is being so relatable right now. like literally yes y/n it hurts just please touch it a little. that’s all they want too.
you’re about two seconds from dragging him off to the bedroom by his ear to chan when minho slowly limps over.
stops in front of han. says in that flat, creepy monotone: “you want to see my cats?”
han’s head snaps up. his eyes go wide. “all of them?”
minho nods. “yes. they missed you.”
“holy fuck yes!!” he scrambles off your lap, dick still visibly hard in his pants but suddenly irrelevant. he grabs minho’s arm (not careful of the bandages) and starts dragging the limping murderer toward the door. “let’s go let’s go i wanna pet dori he let me hold him last time—”
minho lets himself be pulled, but right before they disappear out the door he glances back at you. his version of i love you is saving you from situations like these. he did this for you.
you mouth a “thank you” and he gives a tiny nod before limping after han.
“bye y/n i love you i’ll be good i promise!”
the living room goes quiet except for the cartoon still playing.
felix, seeing that that situation is over, gently takes your hand. sighs. what does this angel could possibly have to sigh about. he brings two of your fingers to his mouth, innocent for a murderer, and slides them between his soft lips. oh, sweetheart. he starts sucking gently, tongue moving under your fingers.
god, he’s heartwarming(you shout his head off at least twice a week because he got blood inside the apartment again). you pump your fingers once because you know he likes it and he deserves it now, and felix’s eyes roll straight back into his head. actually moans, the sweetie. his whole body shudders.
hyunjin is going to combust just from watching. he’s genuinely starting to think about acting dumb just so that you’d give him this treatment too. like give him your fingers now.
you finally peel your eyes away from felix’s pretty little face(that does things to you, you can’t deny) and glance toward the kitchen.
jeongin has lost his shirt somewhere in the last five minutes??? hello?? his back is breathtaking. broad. literal work of art covered in old scars and fresh little bruises from whatever he got into yesterday. cutie. the muscles shift and flex as he does something in the sink.
you can see the little dimples above his ass. he really is hot. annoyingly hot. unbearably hot. fucking hot. has the kind of back you want to drag your nails down just to watch him arch. fuck.
thinking all this while the official boyfriend(well, one of them) is right next to him btw. shoulder to shoulder, both of them with their backs to the living room but at least seungmin has his shirt on. you’d be lowkey worried they’re plotting something again, but then changbin walks over to your little trio on the couch.
you want to RIP this man apart. bare chest and soft little tummy on display still, like put a baby in me. especially with the way he leans down and pats felix’s head, GENTLY.
felix makes a happy little sound around your fingers but doesn’t stop sucking.
changbin looks at you. “i’m heading home soon. you wanna come with me?” his eyes go to hyunjin. “you coming too?”
hyunjin leans his head back. “yeah. might as well.”
you smile up at changbin. “sure. sounds good. let me wrap things up here.”
felix makes a sad noise when you finally pull your fingers out of his mouth. a thin string of spit connects your fingertips to his bottom lip for a second before it breaks. he whines softly, lips chasing them for a second, disappointed.
“felix. hey.” you say gently, cupping his face with both hands, he doesn’t mind his own spit on him anyway. “i’m going out with binnie and hyune for a while, okay? you did so good at the doctor’s today. i’m really proud of you for not telling the doctors about the mailman or anything weird. you were good.”
he smiles, nuzzling into your palm. “really?”
“really. now go watch the rest of the cartoon. behave while i’m gone.”
he nods. “i’ll be so good. i’ll only eat one crayon if i get sad.”
you kiss his forehead and stand up. hyunjin gives your neck one last slow stroke before he pulls his arm back, rising with you.
you head into the kitchen for a quick glass of water. jeongin and seungmin are still at the sink, talking about something that sounds suspiciously like the best way to dissolve teeth.
“i’m heading out with bin and hyunjin for a bit.” you say, reaching past jeongin for a glass then to fill it.
seungmin nods. “don’t do anything i wouldn’t do.”
“that leaves a lot of options open.”
you step up behind him, lean in, and press a sweet kiss right to the side of his neck. was it on purpose that it was right over that sensitive spot you know drives him crazy? yeah, don’t be silly.
seungmin stiffens. there we go. you love leaving him horny on purpose.
jeongin turns his head just in time to catch the end of it. then he shoves his pretty face into the side of your head, nose burying in your hair, arms trying to snake around you. “my turn, my turn—”
you shove his face away with your palm. “down, boy.” you bend down to put your empty glass in the dishwasher and notice both seungmin’s and jeongin’s cereal bowls are already inside. well, you put jeongin’s there, but not seungmin’s. “look at you two actually putting shit away by yourself. i’m proud of you.”
seungmin turns around, sporting a half hard bulge you left him with. “it was me.” he’s so cute because like you need to know that he did it for you!!
pulled a face off in one move yesterday btw.
you give jeongin’s cheek a quick pat before heading back toward the living room. changbin got a shirt on since that(went into your room for it, the sleeping chan didn’t even wake up). hyunjin’s eyes flick over to the couch where felix is watching his cartoon.
“ready?” changbin asks, reaching for your hand.
you take it, lacing your fingers with his. “yeah. let’s go.”
changbin presses a soft kiss to your temple(my boy changbin getting feelings even though he’s a brutal psycho!! fuck it up changbin!! be a good boyfriend changbin!!) then the three of you leave.
god, you love how fancy their apartment is.
you love eating breakfast here. sitting at the island in one of changbin’s or hyunjin’s big shirts while one of them makes food, usually changbin, and those times hyunjin usually reads the news on his fucking ipad(this man and his fucking apple ecosystem), occasionally glancing over at you.
you love watching the city out those big windows, especially at night. you love the soft lighting in the living room that makes everyone look so hot. like why don’t they throw orgies in here? (you don’t know this but hyunjin once did, next day he cleaned up so good that changbin never found out)
now that we’re at this topic, you also really love fucking like animals with changbin when hyunjin’s not home. like, really, loud, sweaty, no restrictions, no rules or limitations sex on every surface. you love curling up by the windows with a mug, watching the city lights while his tongue is between your legs or while you’re just… sitting. could be either.
he gets loud when he cums. manly shouts that bounce off the pretty ceilings(yours has pesto stains on them from one of minho’s and seungmin’s fights). you love that he gives noises. you’ve broken two chairs and one coffee table because he gets too enthusiastic and forgets what his thick thighs can do.
but right now? right now you mostly love how fucking all about you they both are.
changbin unlocks the front door with one hand, keys jingling, then steps aside and gestures for you to go first. hyunjin does the same on the other side, holding the door open.
partly because they’re gentlemen.
partly because they’re in love with you.
and partly because you have a great ass and they both want to watch it as you walk in.
“go on.” changbin says, nodding inside.
“yeah.” hyunjin says. “after you.”
you can feel their eyes on it the whole three steps it takes to walk inside.
hyunjin is fucking mad tho. mad over the fact that changbin gets to tap that. changbin gets to fuck that perfect ass whenever he wants. changbin gets to bury his face between those ass cheeks and thighs and make you scream while hyunjin is stuck in the next room.
it burns. he wants it so bad it makes his stomach twist, makes him have to throw up.
he was there before changbin even considered looking at you like that.
and if he’d just… if he’d just said something earlier… if he’d just… but he didn’t.
and now look where that got him. fucking idiot.
changbin shuts the door behind you, kicking off his shoes. “client today was a fucking nightmare.” he says, running a hand through his hair. “he was calling me the whole time you were away with felix. some rich asshole who wants to ‘get shredded for his mistress.’”
hyunjin heads straight for the kitchen, already reaching for a glass.
“yeah?” you ask, cutely getting your shoes off.
“yeah. i’m thinking okay, cool, leg day, cardio, whatever. then he starts asking if i can meet now. i already have told him no a hundred times at least. fucker. then told me he’ll do it himself then and i tell him what to do. no.”
hyunjin snorts from the kitchen. “hate those.”
“he’s going to hurt himself.” changbin continues. “and then he’ll come back acting like it’s my fault.”
“it will be your fault.” hyunjin calls out, already pouring himself a drink. “you didn’t stop him.”
“i did.”
“clearly not enough.”
changbin shoots him a look.
hyunjin just raises his glass slightly in response, completely unbothered.
“what’d you do?” you ask.
“told him we’ll redo everything.” he says. “properly. slower. he hated it.”
“good.”
“yeah.”
there’s a pause.
“had to deal with a buyer after that.”
ah. there it is. changbin’s little side job of selling organs.
hyunjin lets out a low whistle, taking a sip. “bad one?”
hyunjin sets the glass down, then reaches for a cigarette, tucking it between his lips. he flicks his lighter. click, flame, inhale.
there it is. drink in one hand. cigarette in the other. leaning back against the counter.
like, how?
how the fuck is he this beautiful while living like this?
you stare for too long. he notices. his gaze flicks to you, then away again. inhales. exhales.
“price wasn’t even the issue.” changbin says. “he just wouldn’t shut up.”
“should’ve shut him up.” hyunjin mutters.
“considered it.”
“and?”
“wasn’t worth it.”
hyunjin taps ash into a tray, looking at you looking at changbin, paying attention to changbin, not him. but at least you’re here.
he’ll take it.
even if it’s not everything he wants. he’ll take it.
meanwhile all that’s in your mind is how comfy the couch looks. insert that picture where squidward looks like death and next to him spongebob is throwing his hands up smiling ear to ear. you and hyunjin fr. anyways, you do go and make yourself comfy on the couch, then pat it on either side of you. “come here, both of you. tell me more.”
changbin drops down on your left, big arm around your shoulders. hyunjin sits on your right, long legs laid out, cigarette letting that pretty smoke come. changbin tried to get him to stop smoking at least in the apartment but i think we see it didn’t do much.
changbin is still irritated but relaxed now that he’s home, that he’s with you. “guy kept calling his biceps the guns. i wanted to tell him the only gun was the one i had in my back pocket.” now that he said that, he begins to wonder where did it go. it sure got out his pocket at your place, must be there somewhere if nobody took it.
hyunjin hums. flicks ash into a fancy crystal tray. tf. “clients get stupider every week. last week some guy asked me if i could ‘source’ a liver that still had the gallbladder attached because ‘it adds flavor.’” he takes another drag, exhales “i charged him extra.”
changbin groans and squeezes your shoulder. “at least your idiots pay in cash sometimes. mine keep trying to pay in bitcoin. like fuck your mom.”
you don’t know if you should be turned on or deeply concerned and upset about what you’re hearing. both work.
changbin’s phone starts buzzing in his pocket.
he gets it out. looks at the screen and sighs. “it’s minho.” he picks up. “yeah? what’s up?”
you and hyunjin go quiet, watching bin’s face. it stays neutral for the first ten seconds. then his pretty jaw moves. then the vein on his forehead starts popping. another vein bulges in his huge left bicep. the big arm around your shoulders slowly turns hard. just again, turned on or, well, terrified is the other option in this scenario, you don’t know what you should be.
he listens for another thirty seconds, says “mm” twice, then hangs up. without saying goodbye, by the way. the phone gets placed down with way too much care. looks like if he slams it he’ll break the entire table.
he stares straight ahead at the window for a long time.
“han and jeongin fucked up. bad.”
you and hyunjin look at each other. you both can tell the two aren’t in danger or with police, changbin would be out the door already if that was the case, so you’re not worried.
changbin, though.
“they picked up some guy from the bar. everything was going fine until they cut off the guy’s fingers, all ten of them, and told him if he could juggle them for thirty seconds without dropping any, they’d let him go. minho said the guy was screaming, blood everywhere, fingers all around the place.” his hands flex on his (thick)thighs. the veins in his forearms are now basically fucking his skin. “they found it funny. apparently, they were laughing so hard they didn’t notice the guy’s girlfriend had followed him from the bar and tried to record. they almost got caught on camera. minho had to go clean it up, drag the girlfriend inside, and deal with the mess.”
so that’s what the case is. an almost caught. he gets angry at those.
the psycho part of changbin doesn’t come out in the way he acts, like minho having defects with communication, for an example. seungmin also has a hard time communicating sometimes but he’s significantly better. anyways, changbin’s defect doesn’t work socially.
what his main problem is, is dealing with anger.
this is why he killed for the first time, we already know that. it was pure, blinding anger. he can’t process it. never could. it doesn’t leak out in mean little comments or creepy staring like the rest of the boys. changbin explodes.
therapy? useless. talking? makes it worse. even fucking it out doesn’t work, so you don’t even come in handy now. plus getting his dick hard is difficult when he’s having one of these anger meltdowns. nothing helps. he just has to deal with it until it’s gone.
he stands up slowly. “i can’t deal with this shit.”
you’re mortified by what you just heard about what the two boys did but you’re also lowkey excited to see what he’ll do now. like that’s your boyfriend, go boyfriend, crash out!!
“those fucking idiots.” he says, voice shaking. “i told them. i fucking told them to keep it clean. but nooo, han has to turn every kill into a fucking children’s birthday party and jeongin just has to let him do it.”
“hyunjin. we are SO fucked.” you whisper.
something flies past your heads.
(not aimed at you, never at you, changbin would rather saw his own arms off)
hyunjin takes a slow drag from his cigarette. “myeah.”
you both get behind the couch. it looks stupidly cute from the outside, you two not visible but his smoke coming out anyway.
changbin flips the coffee table with one hand. it crashes into the wall. “i do everything right! i train those stupid clients, i move the organs, i keep the bodies from piling up in the fucking hallway, and these two dipshits treat it like a fucking joke!”
a lamp flies past. then the remote. then one of hyunjin’s fancy poetry books (hyunjin winces).
you peek out to take a look at your boyfriend now throw a little vase hyunjin purely keeps on the (now flipped over)coffee table for decoration. you turn back quickly and look at hyunjin with big eyes.
and he exhales a smoke ring???
“are they fucking five!? i told them, i fucking told them, keep it simple! strangle and dump! but nooo, they gotta make it into amateur porn! ‘funny’ my ass! i’m gonna shove my foot so far up han’s dumb fucking colon he’ll taste my toes for a week!”
another object flies, this time it’s the heavy crystal ashtray hyunjin was just using.
“i’m gonna skin jeongin alive and turn his little face into a fucking puppet. i’m gonna make han eat every single finger he juggled. raw.”
he grabs the expensive leather ottoman and throws it into the kitchen. wow.
hyunjin calmly takes another drag of his cigarette.
“binnie, baby—” you start.
“and the woooooorst part?! they’ve did this hundreds of times already! and they never.” he claps his hands. “fucking.” clap. “learn!” clap clap clap clap. “i’m gonna shove both their heads up each other’s asses and—”
another object flies. it bounces off the wall and lands in the potted plant hyunjin mothers so hard. he actually puts his hand out towards it but pulls it back into his lap almost immediately.
he sheds a tear for his beloved plant then moves on. “this is your boyfriend.” he whispers, tapping ash into an empty glass he grabbed on the way down. “romantic.”
“shut up. you’re hard, aren’t you?”
“painfully.”
crash.
silence.
changbin finally stops, chest heaving, standing in the middle of everything. he looks around at the mess, then at the couch you’re both hiding behind.
“…sorry.” he mutters. “didn’t mean to scare you.”
you peek over the couch, smiling. “you didn’t scare me.”
hyunjin takes one last drag, flicks the cigarette butt into the glass, and stands up. “i’ll order new furniture. again.”
he was two seconds away from leaning in and stealing a first kiss while changbin was distracted. his lips were already tingling with the possibility. but changbin came down from the rage too fast. damn it.
changbin rubs the back of his neck. “i’ll pay for it.”
you crawl out from behind the couch, smiling ear to ear and stepping over the shit he destroyed, and wrap your arms around his waist from behind. “you’re okay.”
he leans back into you. in the smallest, saddest voice you’ve ever heard from him “they juggled fingers, baby.” like aw okay binnie :(
hyunjin watches the two of you. jealous. fuck. he needs another drink. what happened to his earlier one anyway? oh, it’s pouring down the wall right there. okay.
yeah, shit like this happens all the time.
like seungmin’s mean little bitchass gets set off and suddenly it’s world war iii. (yeah he’s the worst, just blows up over anything small) last month jeongin ate a little yoghurt (the one seungmin had been thinking about all day) and seungmin tied him to a dining chair with duct tape and zip ties, then spent forty five minutes beating the absolute shit out of him with a bag of frozen chicken breasts.
chicken breasts everywhere. raw meat juice all over the floor. when seungmin finally calmed down he just cut jeongin loose, patted his bloody cheek, then crawled into your bed at 3am and cuddled up to you.
han once got mad at felix for eating the last of his crayons (the blue ones taste best, apparently, han just uses them to draw). han started screaming at the top of his lungs, stomped into the kitchen, grabbed a plate, and smashed it directly onto his own forehead. the plate shattered. his eyes rolled back and he dropped, out cold for six minutes. you had to ice his forehead.
once minho wordlessly took one of chan’s knives and left it covered in some random guy’s spinal fluid. chan found it, then destroyed every single plate in minho’s kitchen by throwing them one by one into the bathtub. when he was done he sat on the edge of the tub, covered in shards, and whispered “i need a minute.” he let you patch up his cut hands.
chan is fucking HILARIOUS in general. like another one was when he smashed a blender in one hand because jeongin pissed him off.
now that we’re at jeongin, oh he’s the hot babe ever(deserves death), you left him on seen once and he spent three hours shouting at hyunjin at the top of his lungs while carving lines into his own thigh with a razor. then crawled to your door at 2am covered in blood, begging you to kiss it better.
yeah he’s really… unstable.
not as unstable as hyunjin tho. last time he got jealous of changbin he disappeared for six hours and came back with someone else’s tongue in a jar as a gift. you made him throw it away but let him cuddle you while he read you something. he wants so badly to be allowed.
minho is… fucking terrifying. once chan accidentally sat in minho’s favorite staring at y/n spot. minho killed ten people that day.
felix doesn’t get mad lots. or angry. or any of those. he once got mad because you called han baby and not him. he disappeared for three hours and came back dragging a whole ass traffic cone he stole. he tried to eat it.
and we already saw today what happens to changbin. like he does this. once jeongin made a your mom joke and changbin flipped the entire couch, punched a hole through the wall, then spent twenty minutes doing pushups.
they are genuinely horrible at dealing with feelings. well, who can blame them, this is their first time experiencing them, but still, this canNOT be good for you. your mental health. your pussy, sure, the boyfriends do fuck it out sometimes, but let’s be real, it’s extremely unhealthy that you have to deal with these fuckers all day long.
but you like it. so, it is what it is. you’re fine.
you have fun with them. that fun can mean going out with hyunjin for coffee or yanking felix off the couch by both hands on his hips because he keeps humping it, but you really did grow attached to these boys. who cares that they tried to kill you.
that fun can also mean just hanging out with the boyfriends. little dates. seungmin once dragged you to a hardware store just so he could “look at knives and feel better.” you ended up making out in the aisle between the chainsaws. han likes when you let him eat you out. LET him. he has to beg. chan just wants to lie on your chest and have you play with his curls. changbin just needs to touch you to have fun, that can mean his toe in your ear, even. just please omg he has to touch y/n.
lol. men are so fucking adorable you might actually have to smash a plate on your own head too at this point.
like wdym these eight brutal psychos have little feelings??? wdym they get genuinely upset and their little hormones work and testosterone works and it comes from their balls?? AWWW MEN’S BALLS!!! balls gotta be the cutest fucking thing on earth istg. they’re so vulnerable!! they protect them!! they cup them when they’re scared!! the others kick them during fights and they curl up and it HURTS them!! sensitive little guys just hanging out between their legs, trying their best, getting cold and going up inside then dropping back down!!! hello to you too balls!! but they also make cum and babies and rage and horniness and all the stupid boy things and they’re just. down there. existing. between their stupid little legs. swinging. awww.
what do you meeeeaaaann all eight of your psychos have their own pair!!! men are SO cute.
you had to literally bite your fist the other day when hyunjin was manspreading on the couch and you remembered there’s a whole sensitive little sack there, vulnerable and warm and full of his lowk suicidal sperm. aww.
i’m crine the FUCK is your problem y/n😭😭😭
seungmin has straight up slapped your hand away in public before when you tried to sneak a feel. didn’t even look at you. just smack on your wrist, then kept talking to the cashier like nothing happened while you stood there grinning.
you MIGHT have gotten soft on these psychos.
you’re a freak.
but tbh each of the four you’re actually dating needs exactly you. exactly your sex drive. exactly the way you are.
cute. so fucking cute. men are awesome.
sometimes when chan is just sitting on the couch minding his own business, biiiig thighs spread, you’ll casually reach over and grope him through his pants. you’re brutal. palm covering his soft cock and balls, squeezing around.
he just sits there. letting you play w the jewels. sometimes he’ll keep watching whatever he’s watching, sometimes he’ll look over at you(calm, MANLY) murmur a “having fun, baby?”
you love how he feels. that he has those there. love how he trusts you completely with the most sensitive part of him.
when you get a little too enthusiastic and squeeze too hard he just jerks his hips away once and says “ow”. then you lean in and kiss his cheek as a little apology.
he accepts it. patting your head. he loves it. truly thinks he found a once in a lifetime gem with you.
god you’re so down bad.
you feel lucky too. unbelievably. what do you mean you have these psychos at your feet.
kinda… literally at your feet.
what we mean here, is once han is being annoying again, all around you. he keeps bumping into you, pushing you, giggling around, trying to “help” you reach the top shelf even though he’s only about two inches taller and mostly useless.
“y/n you’re so short it’s cute, wait no, i’m short too, we’re both short, that’s why we fit so good when i’m inside you!!”
you spin around and slap him lightly across the face. not hard. it’s genuinely just playful. doesn’t even hurt.
his eyes cross instantly. his mouth drops open, body jerking. he squeaks a “hnn?”
his knees buckle. he drops to the floor, landing on his ass with a pathetic little whimper. one hand flies between his legs, cupping his dick through his pants as his stomach and crotch and abdomen muscles flex.
his face has pure confusion. bliss. eyebrows furrowed, eyes crossed, mouth open.
he came so hard.
“wha— whaaat?” he whines, voice high. his hips twitch up into his own hand as ropes of cum flood his pants. he has tears pricking his eyes from how hard he came and how sudden and so not ready to. his hand is squeezing his twitching cock. that just came while soft. from a slap.
he’s never looked more pathetic or more adorable in his entire stupid life.
you stare down at him. “han. baby. i barely touched you.”
“i knowwww. i think i need new pants, ma—maybe new baaaaalls. y/n, can you slap me again but harder this time?”
you end up crouched in front of him, cradling his dumb flushed face while he keeps making little hiccupps, still gently palming his spent cock. he leans into your touch, nuzzling. dumbest fuck on earth. you’d keep him in a jar if you could.
now that we’re at a sexual topic, it deserves some recognition that seungmin is… surprisingly pathetic in bed. he talks a big game but the second he’s inside you he gets just… whiny. a lil flower, basically. “fuck— you’re so tight, gonna make me cum too fast again, shit—” he tries to stay confident and a mean cunt but ends up whimpering into your mouth, hips stuttering, begging you not to clench because he’s embarrassingly close. the dream boyfriend.
and about changbin, so we include all the four, he has stamina. like stamina. that man can fuck you for hours. (can, not always will. it’s only realistic that you tap out after about two rounds if not one.) then he’ll kiss every tear off your face and ask if you want another round “just to be sure you’re satisfied, baby :)”. insane. built different. (built himself to be different, he didn’t get those muscles and fat out of nowhere. he worked for this, let’s appreciate that)
anyways,
you watch them play sometimes from the safety of the couch(and by play you mean fists, wrestling, knives, guns), chin in your hands.
morons with weapons.
like minho has jeongin in a headlock on the living room floor. the others are doing their own shit around, they’re fine with anything as long as they can breathe your air in.
you watch them. they be rolling around on the floor trying to choke each other out and the second one of them senses danger near the crotch region their hips do that instinctive little squirm/twist away. protecting the goods. always protecting the goods. hips do that instinctive little tuck. ass clenching, balls drawing up, hiding. it’s so automatic. so fucking adorable.
the attackers are absolutely going for the sack on purpose because they know it would hurt them too.
men are sweet.
“quit guarding your little grapes, you pussy.” minho snarls, trying to knee jeongin in the balls while jeongin twists.
“my grapes are precious, you cum gargling— OW FUCK—”
felix once bit chan’s thigh so close to the balls that chan yelped. like imagine that scary ass psycho yelping. because he doesn’t usually yelp.
han knees seungmin in the nuts while giggling while playing tag. hyunjin will grab a handful of minho’s package mid grapple just to hear that cold motherfucker make a high pitched noise. changbin can always end a fight with shouldering into someone’s crotch.
can’t stress it enough, men are unique and funny and cute.
you were made for men.
not just any men, these men.
and oh, the way they come back to you. each get their little asses beaten by each other or get angry and destroy everything or get confused about their huge feelings for you, but since they know you’re safe, you’re y/n, they immediately come to you.
let’s start with chan’s baby ass(should fucking behead him) he’ll limp to you with fresh bruises, split lip, whatnot, and just collapse onto the bed or couch of yours. he just wants you close.
he lets you baby him then. enjoys it, wants it.
let’s go age order now, mkay? minho shows up covered in blood, silent, and just stares at you with those dead eyes until you open your arms. crawls into them. wraps himself around you in the weirdest positions, face buried somewhere on your body (neck, stomach, between your tits, wherever), and just breathe you in. for hours. that, calms him down.
changbin is the usual when he crashes down from their boy fights. after one of his big meltdowns he gets so guilty it’s painful. you can’t tell him enough times that it’s okay that he acts like this when he’s angry. he’s just a man. anyways, he’ll find you immediately, wrap those huuuuuge arms around you, and hang on you while you do whatever. he needs the reassurance that you still love him.
hyunjin will rest his head on your thigh while you play with his hair. he needs you. needs to find you. he yaps about how the world is empty and meaningless except for you. the FUCK is his problem. he needs your attention more than anything else. first boy or whatever.
han is… fuck, you already know, a dumb little bitch. like he got mad and did something stupid again. he’ll launch himself at you full force, wrapping around you, talking into your chest. same boy that tried to kill you once.
felix… aww. he comes back to you literally whimpering, covered in blood and whatever he was eating, and immediately tries to climb into your lap. baby, no, shower. after that, he’ll nuzzle into you and sometimes ask if you still love him. (he wouldn’t by himself, but he saw it on tiktok. also asks if you’d love him if he was a worm)
seungmin is a tsundere little bitch about it. done with his little blow up? start looking for you. crawling back to you. stomps around(with the exact movement a horse would) while hugging your arm only. grown ass man btw. you have to coax him into letting you clean him up. he’ll grumble the whole time (“i don’t need this shit”) but the second you kiss the bridge of his nose he goes boneless.
jeongin is such a personality. didn’t we already talk about him screaming into his pillow about you? well he acts like that didn’t happen, just finds you after to get relief, kneels on the floor, clings to your lap, sighing loudly, telling you in great detail how everyone is against him and how he suffered. you have to play along and kiss his “wounds” (even the fake ones) while he preens under the attention.
slut.
i mean him, not you.
never you.
that’s because they trust you this much. they’re also so fucking comfortable with you it’s actually insane.
and they expect you to be just as unbothered as they are.
example, you’re in your bathroom, brushing your teeth. the door opens(not a single knock knocked) and minho walks in without a word. steps up to the toilet, unzips, pulls his dick out, starts peeing. he doesn’t even look at you just stares at the wall. shakes off then tucks himself away. washes his hands and leaves. no big deal to him. meanwhile you’re standing there with your toothbrush hanging out of your mouth bc like ???
han will barge into the bathroom while you’re on the toilet just to show you something on his phone. he’ll stand there holding the screen in front of your face.
“han i am peeing give me two seconds”
“why?”
the other rock brained is felix. the empty headed little cannibal has walked in on you showering multiple times. you’ve had to start locking the door(though we already talked about them just fucking picking the lock then), and every single time he stands outside whimpering. (doesn’t remember he can literally pick locks)
you try to change shirts and jeongin walks in mid titty out. “oh don’t mind me, keep going.” you tell him to get out and he looks heartbroken. “but i’ve seen them before. why are we regressing as a society?”
changbin is horrible. fucking hell you think about him and have to hold your head in your hands. he’ll walk in while you’re changing pads and starts running his finger through your hair. “you cramping bad today, baby? want me to rub your tummy?” fucking horrible.
hyunjin sometimes sits on the edge of the bathtub while you’re soaking and read you something he wrote, completely ignoring the fact that you’re literally naked in the water. and if you dare tell him you need five minutes alone he’ll sit outside the door and monologue sadly about “the cruel walls you build between us” until you let him in.
seungmin will stand outside muttering “the fuck is the point of being together if i can’t even watch you wash your ass?” like y/n this is human rights violation. let him IN.
minho just… appears. you’ll be changing and suddenly he’s in the corner staring. no words. you undress to take a shower, turn to the shower, he’s standing inside. at the end of the day you get into bed, pull the covers down and he’s UNDER THEM.
how did he not kill you then if he’s THIS good?
felix, as we know, has zero concept of personal space or gendered boundaries. he’ll try to go into the shower with you “to help wash your back.” he’ll stick his cold hands up your shirt in the middle of the kitchen because “your tummy is warm and mine is cold.” when you tell him no he gets this heartbreakingly confused look. “but you let changbin do it, why not me? i love you too?”
chan is at least dada about it. he’ll come out of the shower with just a towel around his shoulders, everything else hanging out, and start making coffee like that. like okay wet daddy put that weapon away. and he tells you “what’s mine is yours, baby.” okay i take it back.
you whine one day that your boobs hurt, maybe pms, maybe han was too enthusiastic the night before, whatever, and chan reaches over, hooks two fingers in the collar of your shirt, and tugs it down.
just pulls your tits out into the open air.
he stares, few fingers poking at them, then tucks them back in and gives you a little forehead kiss. “they look fine.”
but when felix does the exact same thing two days later, it’s different!!
you’re on the couch complaining that your chest is sore and felix, who is very much not your boyfriend, is like “oh no!! let me see!!” and reaches over to yank your shirt down. full tits out in the living room while jeongin and minho are playing cards on the coffee table. you have to slap his hands away and pull your shirt back up while he looks… so lost. he genuinely doesn’t get why that’s crossing a line. to him, your body is community property because he loves you so much and he shares everything with the other seven boys.
they’ve seen you naked, fucked you (some of them), bled on you, cried on you, so why does the bathroom door need to be closed? why can’t they just walk in while you’re peeing? why can’t felix crawl into bed with you and han?
you close the bathroom door. han: “but why?? you’ve seen me naked before!! i’ve seen you bleed from the pussy!! why can’t i watch you pee???”
minho gave you the saddest stare when you told him you didn’t want company while you were changing a tampon.
and you’ve seen every inch of them (and they’ve seen plenty of you) so why the fuck would they hide anything?
because these boys are so comfortable with you.
take hyunjin, for example. you go over to their place one afternoon because he said he wants to show you this new painting he’s been working on. he leads you into his room, closes the door, and immediately starts stripping. shirt off. pants off. underwear too. your heart stops. his dick swings free for a second, soft, while he casually steps into clean boxers like. you’re not even there. your heart starts beating again.
he pulls his sweatpants up, grabs the painting, and turns around. “so what do you think?”
seungmin will casually scratch his balls while talking to you. full hand down the front of his pants, digging around, rearranging while he tells you about the guy he stabbed earlier.
you make a face.
he raises an eyebrow. “what? they itch.”
even better when he walks into your room completely naked, dick swinging, just out of your shower, and lies face down onto your bed. starfish. he’ll throw a leg over you and go straight to sleep while you’re trying to watch a show. if you complain he just “you’ve had it in your mouth, don’t act shy now.”
jeongin is tiring. you actually have to cry laugh. he’ll come up behind you while you’re cooking, press his morning wood against your ass(you’re fine with him doing this, he wouldn’t do it if it made the love of his life uncomfortable), and talks to you. “so then i was strangling the guy and his head turned purple and— waaaaaait, you’re not wearing panties under this? slut.”
“because i thought i was spending the night with changbin. where is he?!”
sometimes they?? switch?? places?? randomly??? like genuinely hyunjin walks into your bathroom and minho comes out. and hyunjin is nowhere. and there is no possible exit he could have gotten out on. or you send chan to the shop to get you something and felix comes home with it. then you think you’re talking to felix and when you turn around it’s hyunjin answering, two completely different voices mind you. you’re always so confused.
they genuinely don’t get it when you try to enforce boundaries. you’re their safe person. their person. so why would they hide basic bodily functions from you? it doesn’t compute in their boy brains.
underneath all the boundary issues is the fact that they trust you completely. that’s sweet though. they feel safe with you in ways they’ve never felt safe with anyone, only the others, but you’re different. so they offer you every part of themselves, the gross, the vulnerable, the naked, the soft dick, post shower, morning wood, post fight, post rage, post cry parts, without hesitation.
they all know, on some level, that women are more physically fragile. no sexism here, this is biology, though some of them know of it in the sexist way, some the biological. men and women are built different. standard knowledge. they’ve killed enough of both to notice the physical differences. they know your body is softer in places, more sensitive, bleeds differently, gets sore easier, boobs aren’t the same as pecs. they know you can’t just punch you in the arm like they punch each other. but the social boundary thing? the “this is my body and sometimes i want it to be private even from people i love” thing? can’t get it at all.
jeongin, hyunjin, changbin, and chan(chan respects you as his girl) are the ones who at least register the differences. they know boobs aren’t just funny squishy chest lumps like their own. they know periods suck and make you more fragile. they understand that randomly grabbing your ass in public might get them slapped while they can slap each other’s asses during fights and it’s just bro shit. they know girls need a little more… finesse. socially. emotionally. physically.
the others though, their brains simply do not… do not most of the time. they could understand if they tried, really could, but they simply don’t use those brain cells. well, the sunshine twins don’t, and minho and seungmin just don’t want to.
so you scold. they listen. sort of. for about three days. then han is back to trying to hold your tit in the middle of clothes shopping and felix is asking if he can sniff your armpit.
before you, there was nothing. we know that. now it’s just a big wobbly thing inside of them. love? terrifying. jealousy? torture. longing? makes them want to chew their own hands off.
their little hearts are really fragile right now.
and they relieve that by being quite the opposite on the outside. by murdering just as brutal as they used to. (crazy, the fact that they enjoy doing that)
chan has this weird little system that turns the feelings, the itch to kill inward first, then lets it go(aka murdering) when it’s a little more upset at him. bout to blow. he’ll go out, find someone who reminds him of his own insecurity, usually slowly, calmly choke them out while staring into their eyes. almost he’s having a conversation with himself. last time he came back with someone’s tongue in his pocket. forgot to take it out and you did when you were washing those jeans. you cried. he felt horrible.
feeling sad is also a new feeling. it’s heartbreaking. they actually feel bad for normal people because oh they had to live with this through their entire lives? but they mostly feel bad for you, because you also did. and you’re above everyone.
back to chan, he ends up lying down with you usually, needing you to give him any type of physical touch. but when he gets it he’s fine. (if we ignore his feelings fucking messing his system up)
about minho, when the feelings get too messy he goes out and does his cute little horror shit (keeping people alive for days, removing things slowly, enjoying their screams. he once kept a guy alive for twelve hours just so he could ask him philosophical questions about love while cutting out his liver piece by piece. then he came home, crawled into your arms, and stared at you for hours. you don’t even mind anymore. he your lil creep.)
changbin is unstable, just not (usually) in front of you. he caught someone looking at you wrong once and spent the next four hours breaking every single bone in the guy’s body. then came home, clung to you.
hyunjin suffers beautifully. little bitch always does. he’ll write twenty pages of the most heartbreaking shit about unrequited love, then go out and slowly take someone apart. he takes his time. makes it artistic. removes organs one by one while talking about the void you left in his chest(insert that talking to wall gif). babe(fucker) just needs you to let him rest his head on your chest.
han is dumb but evil. they all are, let’s not forget that. his brain can’t handle the new emotions so he always does shit with no clear purpose. last week he got jealous of chan taking you out and went on a rampage. caught some poor jogger, beat him unconscious, then tried to share the body with felix by playing tug with the intestines??? he came back covered in blood, tackled you onto the couch(you threw up). feelings are hard.
felix’s empty little brain wasn’t built for this much emotion. when it hits him he gets confused and restless and jealous(worse now that he knows what that is) and freaks out.
last week he got sad because you patted han’s head and he literally jumped at a random pedestrian in broad daylight, sank his teeth into the guy’s neck, and started eating him alive. blood everywhere. still managed to not get caught. tf. came home with blood in his hair and on his face and immediately pouted and crossed his little legs when you scolded him.
seungmin takes his emotional instability out on whoever’s unlucky enough to cross his path. the other day he was pissed because you smiled at changbin when you should have been making seungmin an omelette!! (still got it tf he pissed off about) he went out and found some random dude, tied him to a chair, and spent two hours explaining in great detail why the guy’s existence offended him while slowly peeling the skin off his arms like orange peels. slow. talking the whole time. “she smiled at him. smiled. you ever smile at someone that pretty? no? then shut the fuck up.” when the guy passed out from pain seungmin just slapped him awake and kept going???
he came home with blood in his hair and crawled straight into your lap. was relieved that you couldn’t see the blood in his dark hair but then you smelled it. he got outside time.
jeongin will have a childish breakdown. usually midkill, his lil(huge) ass sobbing about how you don’t love him enough while carving hearts into some girl’s chest. “do you feel this? this is what my heart feels like!!” he once begged you to tell him he’s pretty. it’s actually heartbreaking how undeveloped he is, we’ll talk about it more later.
they’re all so fragile now.
the new emotions are eating them alive from the inside.
they don’t know how to process love or jealousy or fear of abandonment. they don’t know anything, and especially not how to express it. they’re actually in a terrifying situation. especially for men.
hands constantly shaking. all eight’s.
but no matter how bad it gets, no matter how brutally they take it out on the world, they always come back to you.
summary: part one. stray kids just works soooo hard, and aren’t you just an angel of an assistant to give them the sexual relief they need? (chan and hyunjin getting some action specifically, the others will come in the next parts)
warnings: asshole skz, out of character because we like our men a lil evil around here, absolutely unrealistic, fuck knows what assistants do in these environments, cursing, power imbalance, objectification of reader lowk, dumb men, sexual content(oral and handjobs (m receiving), deepthroating, gagging(and gagging sum cum back up), spitting, cum eating, face fucking, grinding, ass play but nothing goes inside a body, making out, hickeys, heavy sexual tension), multiple sex scenes
word count: 22k
you’ve been working for stray kids for about three weeks now and holy shit it’s fucking hell.
as an assistant. given to stray kids themselves because lately, they’ve been needing extra staff support. and that’s okay, boys. just… stop being fucking assholes, maybe?
chan is the only one who sometimes remembers you have a name. he makes you feel like he could either pat your head or fire you without raising his voice. mostly he just nods when you hand him something, mutters “thanks” and keeps walking like you’re part of the wallpaper. one time he actually said “good job” after you fixed his in ear monitor in under ten seconds during soundcheck. you almost dropped dead from the shock.
lee know says maybe twelve words to you a day if you’re lucky. you hand him water, he takes it. you remind him something, he goes “mhm.” you accidentally bump into him backstage and he just sidesteps. you wonder if he even knows you’re the new assistant or if he thinks you’re just another staff member.
changbin is the only one who consistently doesn’t make you feel disposable. he always says “thank you so much” when you pass him anything. once you brought him his favorite hoodie you knew he likes and he looked at you like you hung the moon. “ah… really? you didn’t have to…” he still forgets your name sometimes but at least he tries. “you… the new one, right? sorry, what was it again?” cute fucker.
you want to kick hyunjin up. he’ll take the coffee you’re offering, and go “hm. a little cold already” like you personally pissed in it. you stand there wondering if you should spit in his next one. he’s not outright cruel, just lowkey evil in that hot way that makes you wanna smack him and also maybe climb him. he’s lucky you’re professional.
han seems to be fine by himself most of the time but says “thank youuu~” to you at leadt. pretty chill guy. doesn’t pay you much mind though. doesn’t pay much mind to anything.
felix manages a “oh, thank you” when you get him something but that’s mostly it. you swear he’s the only one who makes eye contact. lowk distant, not like you expected him to jump into your lap, just saying. you brought him throat candies once and he looked genuinely touched. “you noticed? ah, i’m sorry for the trouble.” bro you’re literally paid to notice.
seungmin doesn’t care much either. oh, staff, nice, gets me shit. helps me with shit. it’s their job, my job, that’s fine.
jeongin manages to thank you too, time to time. sometimes he’ll add a tiny “you’re fast” when you’re quick with something.
you hate working for them, to be honest.
just again, why would anyone expect these celebrities to be nice to you, but still. eye contact at least would be nice, dude. or dudes.
mornings are the worst. you’re running around with eight different demands at the same time. chan wants you to tell other people like, sixty things. hyunjin complains whatever drink he asked for is too sweet even though he didn’t fucking specify. lee know just takes whatever you give him and stares into the void. changbin thanks you three times. han acts hurt when you ask him something bc wdym he has to think when it’s your job. felix politely asks if you can find his missing earring. seungmin is on his phone all the time and jeongin is hiding behind his hood pretending he’s not awake yet.
when they’re not just rotting in the recording booths, you’re shoving water bottles, towels, monitors, this and that into their hands while they barely look at you.
“here.” “thanks.” “mhm.” “fuck, this cord is tangled again, who the hell—” (that’s seungmin).
hyunjin once threw his in ear back at you because it was “buzzing weird” and you caught it mid air. he actually looked surprised before going back to ignoring your existence.
but most of the time, you’re background noise. a pair of hands that brings things and fixes things and stays out of the way.
but just again, they’re not your friends and you do not expect them to be. they’re eight men in their twenties living in pressure all the time and they simply don’t have the energy to care about the new assistant beyond “does this person make my life easier right now?”
that’s fine with you. you get paid. you get to stare at handsome faces all day.
plus they’re all massive dramatic bitches when the stress gets too serious.
well, they never scream at you or anything, that would be unprofessional and they’re way too image conscious for that shit. but the passive aggressive energy? the tiny huffs? you want to strangle them.
hyunjin is like the final fuckass boss. you want to peg him just tor the way how he acts when something doesn’t go exactly his way. and not peg in the good way.
one morning you handed him his coffee and it had one too many ice cubes or whatever the fuck and he just stared at the cup.
“this again?” he muttered, then shoved it back into your hands without looking at you. “make it properly.”
later during rehearsal when his mic pack was acting up he actually clicked his tongue loud enough for you to hear and gave you that gut curling side eye like you invented technical difficulties yourself. bitch. you fixed it in thirty seconds flat and he didn’t even say thanks.
still, when he’s not in bitch mode he tolerates you fine. sometimes he even nods in your direction when he sees you. progress.
chan can get angry. “where’s the updated timing?” he asked you once, voice flat, like you were supposed to read his mind.
you scrambled, fixed it, handed it over. he took it without a word, scanned it, then just exhaled through his nose real hard.
the manly equivalent of slamming a door.
later he remembered to mutter “sorry, long day” but it still felt like you got lightly bitch slapped by responsibility.
you once brought lee know the wrong flavor of sum drink and he just looked at the bottle for five full seconds, then set it down slowly. he still takes whatever you give him most days and grunts “mhm” but on bad days that grunt sounds like it’s coming from the depths of hell.
changbin tries to behave, but he gets irritated at shit too. he’ll smile through it at first, “ah it’s okay…” but then he starts avoiding eye contact. not brave enough to actually point it out.
one time the stylists changed his outfit last minute and he had to wait for you to find the right shoes because it was put down somewhere. he stood there quietly for ten minutes, then very politely went “…it’s been a while, hm?”
you felt bad as fuck even though it wasn’t your fault. you got a thanks, at least.
han will still say thank you but it’s almost sarcastic. “thanks. really needed that.” said in a tone that implies he needed it five minutes ago. he wants you to be in place, you work for him after all.
felix stays fair at least. “it’s fine.” he’ll say. “just… next time maybe check twice?” you wanted to crawl into a hole and die. beautiful men should not be allowed to do this.
seungmin will take what you hand him, say thanks in the most neutral tone possible, and that’s it. says thanks but says it wirh the energy of thx.
sometimes he’ll just look through you like you’re not even there. one time you reminded him about something in twenty and he went “yeah i know” so flat you felt stupid for opening your mouth.
he’s not mean exactly, just… done. existing in his own bubble and you’re outside it.
jeongin will mumble thanks when you help him but if he’s stressed he gets his little attitude. “you sure this is the right one?” he asked once, holding up the wrong anything you accidentally gave him. made you feel so dumb. wanted you to feel dumb. then he smiled like he didn’t just lowkey call you incompetent. little shit.
still blushes when you catch him off guard though, so at least there’s that.
the days they’re huge bitches are usually the ones with back to back schedules, zero sleep, and zero breaks. you get it. so yeah, they snap a little. they get pissy. they sigh loud and click tongues and give you the cold shoulder.
but they don’t hate you, actually. none of them has ever complained about you to management or asked for someone else.
they like you enough not to make your life hell, but not enough to treat you like a person most days. you’re useful. reliable. that’s about it. you’re like any other staff, assigned a little closer to them, maybe.
you like watching chan lead them thru another flawless performance like he didn’t almost bite your head off six hours earlier.
men.
and it’s always, a l w a y s, y/n this. y/n that. y/n where is my nonstop. they’re on your dick 24/7.
“y/n.”
“y/n get me water.”
“y/n my in ear is messed up again.”
“y/n where’s the schedule?”
“y/n, hurry.”
even when they’re being bitches they still need you. especially when they’re being bitches.
hyunjin is your favorite to be honest. not because oh bias or anything, just because you actually kinda fuck with the way he’s like this. it’s like those female teachers loving the boys even though the boys are annoying and disrespectful.
“y/n. fix this.” he’ll say, pissy, shoving his half buttoned shirt at you. the stylist buttoned it for him perfectly before, mind you. fuck did he unbutton it for? bitch go tell the stylist this not y/n. (you did it for him)
one time he was in a full mood during rehearsal, everything was wrong, and he kept calling your name every thirty seconds. “y/n this light is too bright.” “y/n the floor feels sticky.”
you fixed it all but told him under your breath “then lick it cleaner, princess”
he actually heard you. you thought you were getting fired right there. wouldn’t even have minded it either, but he just gave you the deadest stare but didn’t say shit because deep down he knows he’s being a hoe.
when chan asks you to bring the this, the that, you bring it. two minutes later: “y/n, the pens?” you bring pens. five minutes later: “y/n—” you almost throw the whole fucking folder at his head.
lee know doesn’t even say full sentences anymore. just “y/n.” and then points at whatever he needs. water. towel. phone charger.
once he did the finger point while staring straight ahead.
you almost broke his finger.
you handed him the thing and he went “mhm”
changbin at least can get a nice tone on for FUCK’s sake. “y/n, sorry, could you get me the…?” it’s every ten minutes. you catch him looking a little guilty sometimes, mayb he knows they’re all overusing you, but then five minutes later he’s doing it again because his brain is fried and your help is nice.
han says thank you at least. he, compared to the others, lowkey leaves you alone. but that’s compared to the others. he still needs this and that and oh also—
felix really likes calling for you. sometimes he adds a tiny “sorry for bothering you again” but then asks for thirty things at once after that.
seungmin takes what you give him and barely look up, but god forbid you’re two steps too slow. he’ll just exhale hard through his nose. he’s on your dick just as much as the rest, just quieter about it.
“y/n…” jeongin mumbles at first, then if you take too long he gets this little smirk. “y/n, you sleeping or what?” he gon get his arm broken very soon, you’re capable of many things. whoop foreshadowing.
anyways, one time he called your name four times in a row because he couldn’t find his own fucking socks and when you finally found them he went “wow you’re slow today” you wanted to stuff the socks in his mouth.
you’ll be in the middle of fixing something on hyunjin(he’s a bitch but still lets you this close to him, says a lot tbh) and chan will call from across the room “y/n, timing?” and han will chime in “y/n i need my phone” and suddenly it’s a chorus of your name from eight different directions.
y/n.
y/n.
y/n.
yeah it’s not rare that you get called for from multiple directions at the same time.
take it when hyunjin and changbin both go y/n at the exact same second.
hyunjin’s voice is already pissy because his shirt collar is sitting weird. “y/n, fix this, it’s choking me.”
changbin is just as demanding but has a nicer tone to it. “y/n… sorry, can you pass me the throat spray? my voice feels off.”
you freeze for half a second while both of them stare at you expecting you to split in two.
hyunjin clicks his tongue. “well?”
you end up tossing the spray to changbin first because he was nicer about it, then you’re on hyunjin adjusting his stupid pretty collar while he looks down at you.
“faster.” he mutters. you want to bite his neck. not in the sexual way. you actually want to rip his veins out.
you two lowk like each other.
then chan. “y/n, is my laptop there?” lee know just lifts one hand lazily without even looking up. “water.” han is waving at you with that big smile that hides how tired he is. “y/n, my protein bar, the chocolate one!” felix raises his hand too “yo y/n, any chance you got my phone?“ seungmin next “y/n, mind grabbing me a coffee? black, thanks.” and jeongin is peeking from behind his phone. “y/n? can you check if my shoes are laced right? feels weird.” he could do it himself, mind you. he just likes to slave you around. all eight do.
all eight. at once. you’re one woman. you have two hands and one brain that’s currently dying.
when y’all have somewhere to be, every five minutes someone needs something. “y/n, my earphones are tangled.” hyunjin, pissy. “y/n, do we have any gum?” felix. “y/n, what time are we arriving again?” chan. lee know doesn’t even say your name, he just looks at you and you already know, water. han is the only one who adds a cute “please” most times, but even he piles on. changbin tries to be independent, at least. seungmin throws a “y/n, charger?” your way. jeongin entertains himself, he’s usually not that big of a problem when you’re out.
one night after a crazy schedule when all of them are quiet for once, changbin murmurs a “y/n, my neck hurts, any painkillers?” and “y/n—” “y/n—” “y/n, me too actually—” “yeah, if you have extra.”
you had to take the deepest breath. you’ll be a good mother after all this practice at least.
but let’s be real, after all this time and you not quitting, the hoes started to slowly trust you.
not in the let’s be besties way, but they know they can count on y/n.
they stop watching you like a hawk when you hold their phones. they leave expensive watches and half used shit on tables and don’t triple check if you moved anything. they even complain about managers infront of you sometimes.
they know you won’t fuck them over.
the biggest change happened because of chan.
it was genuinely a disaster of a night. everything went to shit. at 1:17am he pulled out his phone, texted you that he needs help with something. dorm if you can.
and you went because you’re a damn good assistant. security also let you through because apparently chan had already cleared it.
he opened their door in a black hoodie and sweats, hair so cute, looking equal parts grateful and dead. but he was really, really, really relieved to see you. “come in. sorry it’s a mess.”
it was messy, but sure, they’re men.
andyou spent the whole night at their tiny dining table with him. everything work related was on the table. chan was surprisingly open once the door was closed.
you even massaged his shoulders for ten minutes when he looked close to death. he kept muttering “thanks… seriously y/n” every hour or so. woah, gratitude we see there?
he really needed you that night. he needed the help he doesn’t usually take.
then jeongin’s little bitchass walked out of his room around 3:30am wearing nothing but black boxers, hair sticking up everywhere, half asleep and scratching his stomach.
he just gave you a lazy little slap on the arm as he passed. “hey, y/n.” he mumbled, walking weird(nothing happened, men just walk weird sometimes we know that), drank a huge glass of water, then casually walked back to his room.
your mouth went dry. he looked so hot.
chan just shook his head.
you powered through. by 6am chan had everything solid.
he told you to “go home. take the whole day off tomorrow— today. whatever. you earned it. i’ll tell management.” you tried to argue but he just shook his head. “no. sleep.” like okay dada.
each of the others had their opinions of this night, of course. most of the disagreement was pointed towards chan, not you. it was chan who let staff this close into their finally earned personal space, and you were just doing your job. but just again, this was most. the ones who think less in general, felix for an example, or seungmin but he does use his brain, those were the ones who did feel a little bit different about you.
but even they got over it because they have bigger shit to deal with.
plus… you’re actually fun to be around.
they realized that.
chan, after that all nighter, looks at you with actual respect. you’re not just staff anymore but someone who has his back, even though you’re doing it because you get paid for it.
“y/n, handle this for me?” and you do, because you’re reliable as fuck and he knows. you’re pretty much the only staff member who doesn’t make his head hurt.
then one afternoon you were sitting on a couch and… minho sat down next to you? like so next to you that his whole thick sidewas pressed up against yours. thigh to thigh, arm to arm, everything.
and he talked to you??? “i don’t like this schedule.” he muttered. “they keep adding shit. you notice that too?” you nodded like a dumbass and he kept going, complaining about this and that.
five whole minutes of lee know having a conversation while basically cuddling you on a tiny couch. you didn’t move. you didn’t breathe too loud. when he finally got up he just gave you one nod and left. your leg was asleep for twenty minutes after. men are disgustingly hot.
all because he saw that chan put trust in you.
changbin has straight up adopted you. he follows you around whenever he’s not needed, chatting about random stuff just to talk to you. other staff have literally gotten used to seeing the two of you walking side by side down every corridor.
you’re delivering papers? he’s right there beside you, chatting. you’re grabbing coffee for everyone? he tags along carrying one cup just to talk.
hyunjin started this disgusting new habit where he’ll stress eat half a fucking sandwich, or a granola bar, or some random pastry, then shove the sad remains straight into your hand.
“here. it’s yours now.”
one time it was a half eaten banana and he just pressed the mushy end into your palm while looking you dead in the eye.
“finish it.”
you stood there holding warm banana goo wondering how the fuck your life got to this point.
you were starving though. his saliva didn’t even taste that bad.
one night, like really late night when the others were still recording in the booth and you were sitting in the couch of that room, han just… sat in your lap??
“y/n, bounce me.”
so you kept talking to another staff member while you had your arms around the man and bounced your knees up and down. his ass was warm and heavy and every bounce made your thighs burn.
the unprofessional ever.
he enjoyed it though and that’s what matters. (this action will have consequences ahh)
one evening felix texted you saying he needed help with some paperwork shit at the dorm because he was too wiped to think straight. other staff usually deal with it for him but this time they shoved it into his hands and he had to take it home.
anyways. when you were there you made the mistake of saying “that shirt looks nice on you” professionally!!
felix paused, looked down at it, then just peeled it off right there, tossed it at your face and said “keep it.”
you caught it on instinct, fabric still warm from his body, and stood there holding a shirt worth a kidney.
seungmin usually keeps his distance but one night he was heading down to grab late night food for the boys. he asked the boys first, the usual, then turned to you. “y/n, you want anything?”
you stopped. seungmin remembering the staff exists? seungmin offering?
you muttered something about candy and he nodded, came back twenty minutes later with your little chocolate bar.
you’d been promoted from staff to lowkey pet.
some night you had to stand outside with some important smoking higher people while the boys were indoors, it was freezing. jeongin noticed from the window, disappeared for thirty seconds, then came out and draped his own jacket over your shoulders with a friendly smile. you thanked him hundreds of times but he just waved you off and went back inside. he jacket smelled like him. boy sweat, cologne, whatever detergent they use with chan. your mouth watered a little remembering the boxers incident. men make you feral.
as long as you’re around, shit runs smoother.
you’re just trying not to moan out loud when another one of them does something intimate while calling your name for the hundredth time that day.
fucking men. fucking hoes.
fucking unbelievable.
fucking sweet.
you’re back in chan and jeongin’s dorm again, way past midnight , because apparently “just one more hour of reviewing this” turned into “let’s camp out until the sun comes up.”
jeongin is already passed out in his room.
the whole situation screams unprofessional from every angle. you, sitting on the floor next to chan’s bed with your laptop balanced on your knees while he sits in his gaming chair, elbows on the desk, staring at his own screen.
the room smells like him. you like it.
you’re in your boss’s bedroom at 2am helping him work. assistant duties, sure. but still. hope we can all see what’s up.
chan rubs his eyes with one big hand and sighs. “y/n… you any good with this negotiation shit?”
you stretch your back. “yeah, i’m decent. learned a bunch from the last company i was at. act like you’re doing them a favor. also i’m good at reading between the lines on email tone, when they’re bluffing, when they’re actually pissed, that kinda thing.”
he nods, listening.
“honestly, i’m good at a lot of shit.” you say. “i know, uuh, spreadsheets, schedules, calming down people, giving killer blowjobs when the situation calls for it.”
the second the words leave your mouth your soul leaves your body.
you slap both hands over your face. “oh my god, chan, i’m so fucking sorry. that was disgusting. i was joking. i’m just exhausted, my brain’s not working, please pretend i didn’t say that. holy shit i wanna die.”
he stares at you for a second, then lets out this little surprised laugh, shoulders shaking a little. that whole combo looks good on him.
“fuck, okay. it’s fine, y/n. really. we’re both running on no sleep. don’t worry about it. shit slips out.” chuckling a little, eyes crinkling at the corners. “didn’t expect that one, though.”
you nod fast, mumble a “heh yeah mhm” face burning, wanting to disappear, and force your eyes back to your screen.
the silence that follows feels different than before.
minutes tick by. you’re both typing again, but the energy in the room has changed. bad. human energy. physical.
chan keeps glancing over.
then he clears his throat. “y/n.”
you look up. you know you’re going to get fired in this saint second.
“would you… be down for it?”
huh?
“down for what?”
he exhales through his nose, he can’t believe he’s saying this out loud. “the blowjob.” and immediately he leans back, hands coming up. “fuck, sorry, that came out wrong. i didn’t mean to make it weird, this is so unprofessional, i’m your boss basically, we’re both tired, this is crossing every line, i haven’t had any action in months and i’m tired, just forget i said anything—”
“sure.”
“sure?”
you swallow. “i mean… yeah. if you want. we can keep it professional. i’m offering to help because it’s my job. i don’t mind helping. really. like no weirdness after. or any attachment if that’s what you’re afraid of. just… relief. like the other stuff i do for you guys. we both know this stays between us.”
he watches you for a long time, searching your face. making sure you’re not fucking with him.
holy shiiiiit.
the leader in him is clearly fighting the man who’s been running on stress for months.
finally his eyebrows move lower on his face. he looks so good. “you sure? i don’t want you feeling like you have to. if it’s a hard no, say it. we go back to work and pretend this conversation never happened.”
you nod, setting your laptop aside on the bed. “i’m sure. we’re both adults. you trust me enough to let me in here. i trust you enough to keep it between us. it’s just… helping. professionally, i guess.”
chan rubs his face with both hands, then drops them, looking at you with disbelief. “fuck. okay. yeah. if you’re really down… that would actually be… shit, i don’t even know how to say it without sounding like an asshole.”
he shifts in the chair, the move making his sweats pull tighter across his lap. you don’t let your eyes drop there. not yet.
“i want to, chan. shut up and let your assistant help.”
“alright. if you’re sure.”
you nod, heart racing, moving toward him on the floor.
the air between you crackles with how fucking human and inevitable this whole thing is.
wait, no, i meant to say professional.
totally fucking professional.
he watches you approach, throat working as he swallows. hot. “y/n…”
“mm?”
“thank you. seriously.”
you smile, sweet, beautiful, even as you settle down between his spread legs. “anytime, chan. now relax and let me do my job.”
the laptop screen glows behind him, forgotten. for the first time in weeks, mr leader looks like he actually feels something besides depression.
you keep your voice to a whisper, soft and comforting, you’re so good at it. “it’s okay. you’ve been so wound up. let me take care of it.”
his eyes are locked on yours, and now you can actually feel them do something to you. you can already see the outline of him straining against the front of his sweats, tented up nice and obvious now, the shape of his cock pushing forward cuz it’s been trying to wave hello after you two danced around the idea for ten whole minutes.
you drag one finger in slow, lazy circles on the inside of his thigh. god, that’s a muscle there. up and down.
“that’s it.” you whisper. “just let it happen. you’re safe with me tonight.”
he lets out a low, shaky breath through his nose, thighs spreading wider. the outline gets thicker, harder, the head of him nudging more obviously against the fabric until the whole thing is basically throbbing there, begging.
you keep circling that finger, pressing a little firmer each time, watching the way his cock jumps every time you get close but never quite touch it yet.
when he’s fully hard, cock standing so stiff it’s almost pathetic how it strains the waistband of his sweats, a tiny wet spot already forming where the tip is leaking, you finally hook your fingers into the elastic. slow as fuck. you tug the sweats down his hips inch by inch, letting them bunch around his cute ankles. his boxer briefs come next, black and snug, the front stretched obscenely over the fat length of him. you peel those down too, careful, watching his cock spring free and slap up against his stomach with a soft, heavy sound.
and jesus fucking christ.
he’s big. not porn star ridiculous ofc, but real man big. thick, veiny, kind of cock that makes your mouth water. like wdym your boss has been packing this the whole time? the head is flushed, already shiny with pre cum beading at the slit. his balls are heavy underneath, drawn up tight from how turned on he is, nestled in a bush of dark pubes that get light when going up his pretty little stomach. makes your stomach flip.
“y/n… shit, i haven’t had time to, i’m not really shav—”
you press a finger to your lips, a soft shh, then slide a hand up his thigh and squeeze the thick muscle there, reassuring. “don’t. seriously. it’s fine. you’re perfect like this.”
you don’t mind. you expected it. this man barely has time to sleep, let alone shave his junk.
his eyes go wide.
hungry.
that little thing, you telling him he’s perfect just changed something in his dumb man brain and now he’s stupidly, suddenly attracted to you in a way that goes waaaay past professional relief. not just attracted, attached.
his cock twitches hard in the air between you, confirming it, another bead of pre sliding down the shaft.
you spit into your palm. lands loud in the quiet room. not so ladylike but after all it is, because you use it to wrap your hand around the base of him. slow. so fucking slow. feels so funny. in the hot way.
you stroke up from the root all the way to the head, thumb swirling over the leaking tip to spread everything nice and slick. down again, twisting your wrist a little, spreading your spit around, feeling the way his pubes tickle the side of your hand on every pass.
chan’s head falls back against the chair. he lets out these low little sounds. guttural might be the best word. a deep “mmph” when you squeeze tighter on the upstroke. a shaky exhale that turns into a quiet little groan when you drag your thumb right under the head where he’s most sensitive. his balls are basically in love with you.
you keep it slow, just learning the shape of him, the way his cock pulses in your grip, learning how he’s built.
work’s gonna be real difficult after this, knowing the exact shape of your boss’ cock, but whatever. now’s not the time to think about that.
another spit, right onto the head this time, and you spread it with your palm, making everything messy.
looks obscene. looks like him.
he’s leaking constantly now, precum mixing with your spit and dripping down over your knuckles.
you twist your hand on the way back up, firm, perfect, and chan’s hips jerk once, oh fuck he didn’t mean to, a “fuck”slipping out.
you keep going like that. long strokes. base to tip. tip to base. sometimes you pause at the head and just milk him with your thumb and fingers, watching more pre ooze out. sometimes you roll his balls gently in your other hand, feeling how full they are, how manly.
every sound he makes is quiet but real, that’s why it’s so hot, low grunts, shaky sighs, the occasional deep something in his chest that you can’t quite identify. his hands are gripping the arms of the chair.
you glance up at him every few strokes, catching the way his jaw clenched, eyes half lidded, so so so hot, and fixed on your hand working him, that beautiful face flushed and fucked up already.
he looks like he came six fucking times already and you’ve barely even started. he looks fucking gone. the outline in his pants was nothing compared to the real thing, big, heavy in your hand, twitching and leaking.
shit, like he hasn’t been touched in months.
chan lets out another quiet groan, hips shifting, moving up into your hand. his cock is flushed darker now, veins standing out, the head glossy and swollen. beautiful.
you squeeze his thigh again with your free hand, comforting, and he melts a little more into the chair, another “mmh…” escaping him.
you’re really fucking good at this.
you keep stroking him slowly and slick for a few more (torturous) seconds, watching his cock live in your fist, veins bulging, the head shiny and leaking. chan’s thighs are tense as fuck around you, muscles flexing in pleasure. his breathing is rough, the low grunts turning into shaky little huffs that he’s clearly trying to keep quiet because jeongin is still in the building.
you lean in closer, spit one more onto the tip. it lands and slides down the shaft, mixing with all the pre already dripping everywhere.
then you finally stop the foreplay.
you take him into your mouth.
the second your lips wrap around the swollen head chan has to take a biiiig breath, head tilted back, his mouth shut, teeth gritted.
you sink down fast, taking as much of his thick cock as you can in one go, lips hugging the girth. so snug. half his length disappears into your (hot, wet) mouth and you hollow your cheeks immediately, wow, sucking like you’re trying to pull the stress right out of his balls.
chan’s hand flies to the back of your head, then leaves it because he remembers you’re his assistant, and flies to the chair instead. his hips thrust up, chasing you, and you let him, relaxing your throat so another inch slides in.
his eyes actually cross.
the head bumps the back of your throat and you swallow around him, throat muscles struggling, but still milking the tip. spit is already pouring out the corners of your mouth, dripping down his shaft and soaking into the dark pubes at the base. you don’t care. you bob your head, then again, and again, sloppy and greedy(for your boss’ cock), gluck gluck gluck.
chan has to breathe with his mouth open to bear with the pleasure.
every time you pull back you swirl your tongue around the head, sucking hard on the sensitive underside before diving back down, nose pressing into his pubes on the deepest strokes.
it’s so obscene. so filthy. has that human smell that’s almost disgusting but more hot.
his balls are right there, heavy(makes him even hotter in your eyes), so you reach up with one hand and roll them gently, fingers slipping through the soft hair covering them, tugging, massaging, making his cock jump in your mouth.
the sounds he’s making are pure porn.
“y/n… fuck— y/n—”
music. to. your. fucking. ears.
it’s the only opinion he can get out. pure disbelief that his quiet, sweet little assistant is sucking his soul out through his dick like a pro. where the fuck did you learn to do this? the question is written all over his fucked face, but all that comes out is another desperate “y/n… shit—”
you hum around him. his cock twitches violently on your tongue, another thick spurt of pre flooding your mouth. you swallow it down greedily, moaning softly so he feels it, then pull off just long enough to spit on him again. messy, strings of saliva connecting your lips to his glistening cock, so unprofessional(well no fucking shit), before you dive back in even harder.
you’re giving him your best. head bobbing fast and sloppy, one hand stroking what your mouth can’t reach, twisting. the other hand keeps playing with his balls, feeling how full and heavy they are, how the skin wrinkles under your fingers.
spit is everywhere. dripping down your chin, running down his shaft, soaking his pubes.
every time you take him deep your throat makes these disgusting gurgling noises and chan’s thighs start shaking around your shoulders.
he’s panting now, chest heaving under his hoodie, head thrown back against the chair. his whines are getting higher, god, he can’t believe how good it feels.
his cock is rock hard and pulsing, the head basically exploding in pleasure everytime it hits the back of your throat. you suck harder, cheeks hollowed, tongue working the underside.
good little assistant you are.
you pull off for a second to catch your breath, strings of thick spit connecting your swollen lips to his cock. you stroke him fast with your slick hand, watching the way his balls tighten even more, the way his pubes are soaked and clinging to his skin. then you lean down and take him back down, burying your nose in his pubes until your throat is bulging around him.
chan is gone. completely gone. not here anymore. his whines turn into these animal groans that he tries to muffle with his fist, but they still leak out.
you go faster now. sloppier. throat relaxing so you can take him even deeper, nose grinding into him. spit bubbles at the corners of your mouth and drips onto his balls. your hand keeps working the base, stroking in time with your mouth, squeezing. his cock is so wet it sounds disgusting, loud, wet, filthy sucking noises that would be embarrassing if either of you gave a single fuck right now.
his thighs are trembling hard around you. his abs are clenching under the hoodie.
you look up at him through wet lashes, eyes watering from how deep you’re taking him, and the sight of the big strong leader completely dying because of your mouth is enough to make you moan around his cock.
you feel the power of your situation. your jaw is starting to ache but you don’t care. you love it. you love how his thighs are shaking around your shoulders, how his balls feel in your palm, how every time you pull off for a breath a string of spit connects your swollen lips to his glistening cock and he stares down at you like he’s seeing god.
he’s leaking so much it’s constant now, salty and warm and kinda ew, sliding down your throat while you moan around him because you’re so fucking turned on it hurts.
you feel powerful. you feel wanted. you feel the stress melting out of his body.
he doesn’t want this to end, but he’s so close that it might very soon. because you’re that good.
that’s why his hips don’t stop twitching, squirming around, and his thighs spread more, trembling, and that “y/n… y/n…” turns into one long moan.
you push deeper, swallowing around him, throat squeezing tight as the first thick rope of cum shoots down your throat. it’s hot, salty, a lot, months of stress and no release all pouring out in wild spurts that you swallow greedily, cheeks hollowed, eyes watering you keep sucking through it, milking him with your mouth and hand while he cums and cums and cums like he’s never going to stop. doesn’t taste that good but you’re just doing your job, aren’t you, y/n?
“y/n— fuck— y/n—” his voice is so fucking whiny it makes your pussy clench.
you take every twitch, every throb, every spurt as it coats your tongue and slides down. your toes are curled. the musky smell of him mixed with fresh cum is so filthy and human it makes your head spin.
you keep working him through the whole thing, slow and gentle now, sucking softly on the sensitive head while the last weak pulses dribble onto your tongue.
his cock is twitching, now just half hard, shiny and messy with spit and cum when you finally pull off. sounds wet. a string of saliva and semen connects your swollen lips to his tip for a second before it breaks and drips onto his balls.
you swallow one last time, then back on your heels, wiping the corner of your mouth with the back of your hand. “all done, boss.”
chan’s slumped in the chair, chest heaving, eyes half lidded and kinda crossed??, mouth open. he looks like he doesn’t know whether to propose or cry.
he sighs. reaches down slowly, tucking his spent, spit shiny cock back into his boxers with shaky hands, then yanks his sweats up over his hips. the wet spot on the front is lame. funny. then sits there for a second, rebooting.
then he stands up on slightly unsteady legs, runs a hand through his messy hair, and mutters “i’m… gonna take a quick shower. you can go home. i mean— fuck, not like i’m sending you home, god no, i’m not that much of an asshole. i just… you’ve been here all night, you should rest—”
“i know what you mean. it’s okay. i’ll head out.” voice sweet and professional like you didn’t just swallow his load two minutes ago.
he nods, relief and some emotional dilema on his face. he looks like he wants to say something bigger but doesn’t know how. instead he just says “do you want tomorrow off? you earned it. more than earned it.”
you shake your head, standing up and smoothing your clothes. “no, i’m good. i’ll see you. don’t worry about me.”
he watches you gather your stuff for a second, then nods.
you slip out of the apartment as quietly as you can.
your lips feel swollen, your jaw aches, and you can still taste him. your panties are soaked through, thighs sticky, and your brain is a mess of what the fuck did i just do and holy shit that was hot.
back inside, chan stands under the shower for a long time, hot water pounding on his shoulders, trying to wrap his head around the fact that his you, his assistant, just got on her knees and sucked him dry.
he keeps thinking of the way you looked up at him, the way you swallowed everything, the little cheeky “all done, boss” after. god, that was hot. cherry on fucking top.
his chest feels tight. it has nothing to do with the orgasm and everything to do with how much he suddenly wants to pull you close and make you his girl. and with the stress and anxiety, of course. how will tomorrow go? will you act normal? how will the boys find out? ugh. he might just go and cuddle up next to jeongin in hopes of getting some comfort, for fuck’s sake.
and… oh my god, you’re back at it the next day like nothing happened, running around. like, for all eight of them again. y/n get this, y/n fix that strap, y/n where’s my fucking charger, y/n my coffee’s cold.
y/n you deserve a month off. a year. a life. respect to you.
and you and chan are scarily professional. no signs. no weird eye contact, no blushing, nothing. wow.
you hand him something and he says “thanks” you fix something on him and he just nods.
but there’s this new tension in the air that the other seven clock immediately.
chan is… softer. more boy than man. or maybe more man than boy. his shoulders aren’t as locked up. that’s good. he laughs a little quicker at han’s dumb jokes. and his eyes keep flicking to you when you’re across the room, then away. he even says “take it easy today, y/n” once in passing, and you smile at him like you didn’t have his cock down your throat eight hours ago.
the boys aren’t stupid. they’ve known chan for years, we know that. they can read that man easily.
so the second they’re alone, one of the bigger studio rooms or green rooms or whatever after the afternoon schedule, doors shut, no staff, just the eight of them sprawled on couches...
“okay what the fuck is up with you and y/n?” han asks legs kicked up on the coffee table. “did something happen?”
chan freezes mid sip of his water. “what? no. shut up.”
hyunjin leans forward. “no, something’s up. are you okay?”
chan rubs his face, puts the water down. he keeps glancing at the door. “it’s not— look, it’s nothing. we’re fine. drop it.”
changbin watches him. “you know you can tell us.”
“no, it’s not about y/n.”
“then?”
chan groans, head falling back against the couch. he’s quiet for a long minute, jaw working, chewing on his mouth, clearly fighting with himself. plus he just lied about it not being about you. fuck.
the silence is killing them.
“…y/n blew me, okay?”
dead silence.
“like..?” han mumbles, grabbing imaginary hair in front of him and thrusting his hips forward into the air like he’s face fucking someone.
hyunjin watches. giggles. says “like..?” and tilts his head back, opens his mouth wide, and jerks both hands up and down like he’s milking a cock into an open mouth. “like this?” his voice is so cute, giggling, laughing, smiling ear to ear. he’s beautiful.
“like..?” felix pokes his tongue hard into his cheek so it bulges out while he jacks the air next to his face with one hand.
“like..?” changbin twists both hands in the air like he’s gripping a thick shaft, then leans forward and makes loud sucking noises above it, hollowing his cheeks, eyes big and looking up at chan while he does the most pornographic blowjob mime you’ve ever seen. “mmh… mmh… like this? deepthroat?”
“like..?” jeongin smirks and makes a fist, then bobs his head down on it fast while making exaggerated gagging sounds. “y/n taking the whole thing?“
“like..?” seungmin leans back and acts like he’s holding a hair above his crotch, pulling the imaginary hair up and down.
minho giggles out loud. “like..?” then starts thrusting up into the air, holding himself up with his back on the couch he’s sitting on.
chan buries his face in his hands, ears red.
they’re all laughing their fuckasses off but are also genuinely shocked. like did this really happen? in their years of careers this actually happened? to chan??
“no fucking way—”
“how the hell did she take you?”
“you didn’t tell us?”
“did she swallow?”
“was it good?”
chan groans. head in his hands. “yes, okay? it was… fuck, it was insane.” he slaps his face with the two hands holding it up. “she’s really good at it. i didn’t even know… i still don’t know how. and we’re keeping it professional. it was just… stress relief. one time. that’s it. i asked her for it and she said yes.”
the room goes quiet.
then han starts thrusting into the air again, laughing in chan’s face.
felix pokes his tongue in his cheek again, then pulling it away and poking it back really fast, going into chan’s face.
changbin is screaming laughing, still twisting the air. minho can’t breathe and keeps slapping changbin’s shoulders as he twists around from silent laughter.
“and you did that next to me?” jeongin whines but he’s smiling ear to ear. he’s so entertained.
“when’s my turn?“ hyunjin asks.
chan throws a pillow at him. “shut the fuck up. none of you say shit to her. i’m serious. this stays here.”
they all nod, still laughing, still processing. they’re shocked as fuck. horny. jealous. proud. men.
and now every single one of them is now lowkey wondering how the fuck they can get on your good side next.
and boom, they’re suddenly… nicer. not in a fake polite way. in a scary, intentional, grown man way. suddenly, they’re not huge assholes.
minho sits next to you again. and again. and again. always watching you talk, chin in his palm usually, nodding along, smiling, laughing with you. what the fuck.
changbin finds you on the halls again. “y/n, how long have you been doing this kind of work? do you like it? does it get exhausting dealing with us all day?” his pretty eyes focused on your face. when you say it can be hard, he smiles and says “you’re really good at it. we notice, you know.” then he lightly bumps your shoulder with his. you notice that too.
hyunjin actually waits until you’re close and gently tugs your sleeve. “y/n. come here for a second.” when you step closer he holds out his iced coffee like an offering. “taste this. too sweet again?” you take a sip and he watches your mouth the whole time, eyes intense. baby stop. “hm. ‘kay.” then he gives you this tiny half smile and walks off. you stand there blinking like he just grew a second head.
han full on grabs your arm during break, tugging you over to the couch he’s sitting on. “y/n sit with me for a bit. my shoulders are bad from yesterday, can you press here?” he makes you touch him.
felix leans against the wall next to you during a break, not in the cringe way but in that boyish loose way that’s so ggrgrghghh, sipping his drink, and goes “so what do you do when you’re not running after us? any hobbies? boyfriend? …no? hm.”
seungmin also uses the digging technique first. “you got family around here? siblings? what made you want to work in this industry?” he asks you. listens. anything for his dick tbh, even though your answers aren’t boring.
jeongin usually smiles ear to ear when he gets close to you, using his voice. using it good. or asks you to pass things that are literally in fucking arm reach, putting his fingers on yours purposely. his best attempt at flirting.
and chan is trying so fucking hard. he’s professional, respectful, gives you space… but his eyes follow you constantly.
“y/n, thanks.” “y/n, good job.” oh suddenly he can be grateful.
when no one’s watching he squeezes your shoulder gently, even.
uhuh there goes being professional and he knows that.
why isn’t he stopping himself? why can’t he listen to his brain when it’s about something this important? it was a one time thing. fuck.
the way they’re all suddenly tugging your arm, asking about your life, watching your mouth when you talk, finding excuses to be close… it’s too coordinated. too on purpose. too curious. too hungry. too boy.
you have a pretty strong guess that chan cracked and told them at least some version of what happened that night.
the thought makes your face hot every time one of them calls your name now because now it feels meant. like they’re all imagining the same thing.
and they’re so good at it. these are grown men who’ve spent years charming fans, interviewers, sponsors. they know exactly how to act, what to say. they learned this.
they’re doing this to get something. it’s lowkey mind games. that’s their whole life already.
because they’re wondering the same thing. if she did that for chan… what would she do for me?
plus they value chan so much that the fact he let you that close somehow makes you… safe. approved. part of the inner circle now. it’s weirdly sweet when we ignore the fact that they’re only doing it to get some game too.
my actual respect goes for the way they’re still pros on the surface, perfect smiles for cameras or other people, flawless interviews and public presence, but the second the staff clears out or the doors close, you’re left and their imagination of the position you sucked chan off with.
but around you, so unprofessional.
which is horrible, but they keep doing it.
minho actually contains himself, kind of. just sometimes puts an arm behind you when sitting with you on a couch. testing how you’d feel under him. or he’ll press his palm flat against your waist to gently move you aside when he wants something from the table behind you. like hello to you too daddy.
changbin catches you in the hallway, gently grabs your waist to turn you toward him. “y/n, wait, can you—” all the time. he’s wondering how you’d look looking up at him with those same helpful eyes while your mouth is full.
you’re helping hyunjin adjust his collar(it’s the fucking stylists’ job, why did he demand you to do it?) when his hand slides around your waist from behind, holding onto you.
“tighter on the left.” he mutters.
when you’re finished he gives your waist a tiny squeeze before letting go.
han actually gives you hugs now. like a saying hi hug in the mornings which always he initiates. hugging just to touch, no emotion behind it. it’s unprofessional and annoying. he’s not a smart man but has a goal now. he’s interested and so is something else on him.
felix keeps it casual. he leans in while you’re handing him water, but leans in on purpose. “thanks, y/n.” oh hello getting polite aren’t we.
seungmin is not touchy. respect tbh.
not like jeongin, who tugs you by the waist constantly now. “y/n, come here real quick.” wants his dick sucked NOW.
and they’re talking to you more than ever. and they exchange the information they got. they are standing on business. they’re horny boys first, idols second right now.
plus they can see that the energy between you and chan is thick as fuck now. he texts you more, he lets you into his space easier. during a late rehearsal he pulls you aside and tells you “that night, it helped. a lot. more than you know.”
the tension is there, but nothing sexual has happened again. yet. he’s holding back, trying to be professional, but you can feel how bad he wants more.
too bad the other seven want a piece of whatever chan got that night.
felix is the straighest about it. during a break he leans in, eyes dragging over you, slowly(he was trained to do this), and goes “you look good today, y/n. really good.” it sounds friendly on the surface, like a casual compliment, but the way his gaze lingers on your lips and then drops to your chest makes it anything but. he smiles after, boyish, beautiful, like he didn’t just eye fuck you in broad daylight. waiter waiter a whole box of xanax please
the others are sneakier but still deeply unprofessional and they know it. they ask about your life like they’re actually interested, but the questions always have this undertone now. because they just want your body.
minho sits next to you again, thigh pressed to yours DADA, and has actual conversations. “you like taking care of people, huh?” he says, eyes on your face. then, quieter, “must feel good when someone takes care of you back.” he wants to be the one making you feel good.
changbin is with you in the hallway again. “do you ever get lonely? with how much we keep you running around? you deserve someone who takes care of you too, you know.”
hyunjin keeps shoving half eaten shit into your hands but now he watches your mouth when you eat it. “good?” he asks. yeah sure whatever dude pull the willy out if you want it sucked so bad.
han once asks “you got any plans after schedule? maybe we could hang… talk more.” ??? the unprofessional ever.
seungmin asked you one day “you ever think about what you want outside of work? like… personal stuff?” the way he looked at you when he said “personal” made it clear he was imagining you spread out and moaning someone’s name. probably his.
once when the boys were talking, jeongin turned to you and asked “you, y/n? what do you do for release?” he clearly could have said to unwind or something, and he makes that known with a cheeky raise of his eyebrows too. fucking hell.
and you can tell chan is fighting with himself sometimes.
he’ll be in the middle of a conversation with you, genuinely business shit, and then something will run across his face. a tiny frown, a quick glance away, the responsible leader part of his brain is yelling “what the fuck are you doing, she’s staff” while the rest of him is just glad you exist. glad he has you. glad there’s someone who saw him at his really stressed and still chose to help without making it weird after.
most of the time the glad part wins. he lets you closer now.
the other seven? they don’t have that conflict.
they just want to hit.
bad.
they want to know what that mouth feels like. what those hands would do if they asked nicely (or not so nicely). they want to see if their sweet little assistant would get on her knees for them too, if she’d moan their name if it cane to that.
it’s horny, selfish, and they know all of them are on the same page. chan’s always so done with them when the topic comes to this.
and oh, hyunjin, the evil shit.
he waits until changbin mentions during lunch that he’s sleeping over at chan and jeongin’s dorm tomorrow night. boys are so cute when they’re excited about their little sleepovers. like aw they planned it one day sooner. hyune just nods and says nothing.
next day, after the evening schedule wraps, hyunjin finds you alone in the hallway while you’re packing up something.
he tugs your arm, pulls you closer than necessary, and says “y/n. come over tonight.”
“to yours?”
“yeah. changbin’s gone. it’ll just be me. i need help with something. personal. you know how it is.”
he doesn’t say it outright but the implication is thick as fuck. he waited until his own roommate, his best friend, was safely out of the picture. didn’t even hint to changbin. didn’t mention it to chan. just saw his opening and took it like the selfish pretty bitch he is. it’s an asshole move, one hundred percent. but hyunjin doesn’t care right now. he wants his turn. he wants to see if you’ll help him the way you helped chan.
you stand there, heart hammering, because you know exactly what he’s asking. he doesn’t know you know.
and you’re tempted.
and that’s how you end up at their place. well, right now just his.
you’re barely two steps inside when the door clicks shut behind you and hyunjin turns around.
oh, the lighting is actually nice. this is absolutely a nice place, fits them too, looks so good and combined with the smell of men—
“i want you to suck me off.”
you choke. your eyes go wide and you cough once, hard, hand flying up to your throat. “jesus fucking christ, hyunjin.”
“what? you did it for chan. i want it too.”
the confidence is insane.
you’re not even against it, the thought has been sitting in the back of your head ever since they all started acting weird, but jesus christ the delivery.
“okay… wow. straight to it, huh?” you mumble.
“why drag it out?” he says, already walking past you toward the couch. “we both know why you’re here. you’re not stupid. i’m not stupid.” he drops onto the couch, legs spread. “you can have a glass of wine first if you want. there’s some. or water. whatever makes you comfortable. but i’m not waiting all night.”
you stand there blinking, mouth still a little open. the audacity is actually impressive. “right.”
“then sit down for a second. talk if you want. or don’t. i don’t care.“
you do sit, on the other end of the couch, legs crossed, trying to act like this is a normal conversation. you talk a little about the schedules, how tired everyone looks, how you noticed they’ve all been… different lately.
hyunjin listens, nodding once or twice, but his eyes keep dropping to your lips. he’s not subtle. he clearly gives zero fuck about your feelings and wants his cock sucked like yesterday.
he’s straining against his jeans, god, but also… there’s this… romantic tension radiating off him. or maybe it’s leaning into the sexual territory too, but it is romantic, somewhere. both of you know something is about to go down and both of you know the other knows.
after a few minutes you sigh, rubbing your temple. “okay. sure. i’ll do it.”
his whole face changes. not a big smile, he’s too cool for that, but his eyes light up. eyebrows go up. he’s visibly more excited. “yeah?”
“yeah. just… keep it between us.”
“obviously.”
fucking liar.
okay both of you know chan did not hold his fucking mouth so saying it was straight up pointless. hyunjin seems even worse at keeping secrets, you’re putting less hope into this staying a secret than you did with chan.
but you’re just doing your job, after all. he’s your boss, up to him if he keeps it.
he yanks his belt open right then right there right away, the metal clinking and it sounds hot for some reason, then pops the button on his jeans but doesn’t push them down yet. just leaves them open, the zipper halfway down, the black waistband of his underwear already visible. he spreads his legs wider, one arm draped over the back of the couch ,and looks at you.
“come here then.”
okay. wow. right. okay. you move closer, then slowly sink down on the floor. it’s humiliating, considering he’s so above you in all aspects. that’s why it’s so hot.
the second you drop to your knees between his spread thighs his face, his expression shifts into something evil. satisfied, mostly. that beautiful smile, small, smug, evil, spreads across his pretty face.
“look at you.” he mutters.
he’s so hot it’s actually fucking unfair. like so unfair. fuck your fucking chungus life. that body relaxed on the couch like he was born to be serviced. this might be the perfect way to say it, born to be serviced. shame he’s also dumb and evil and weirdly romantic.
but right now he’s just a horny boy who waited until his roommate was gone so he could have you all to himself.
you settle between his legs, hands resting on his thighs. the denim is warm under your palms. his cock is already hard, been for a while, pushing against the black fabric, the outline calling your name. the tension in the room is stroking it by itself.
hyunjin reaches down, slow, and threads his fingers through your hair. “go on then, y/n. show me what you showed channie.”
you’re here for work.
so you lean in, breath ghosting over the bulge in his underwear, and watch the way his thighs tense under your hands and that satisfied smile spreads more. like he’s so happy that he’s smiling. it’s cute, if you think about it.
you reach up slowly, fingers helping tug the jeans down his thighs. they pool around his ankles and he kicks them off lazily, leaving him in just the black boxers that are so tented.
then you, slowly, peel those down too, his cock springs out, slapping up. makes your mouth water.
completely shaven, by the way. oiled and all this morning but wouldn’t tell a soul. prepared like a whore. knew he was gonna get his dick sucked tonight and wanted it perfect.
doesn’t care about you but gives a shit about how you experience him.
you wrap your hand around the base first, feeling him up. learning how the little guy works.
you squeeze gently, feeling the signature silky skin texture of dick, of genitals in general, slide over the hardness underneath, and hyunjin lets out this soft, breathy little sound that you’ve never heard from him before. a quiet “mmh…”
you start stroking him slow as fuck, up and down the whole length, thumb swirling over the head every time you reach the top. there’s not much pre for now, his dick isn’t as desperate as chan’s was, but you can work with anything.
you can always work with anything.
you spit into your other hand, loud and wet, and wrap it around him too, using both now, slicking him up until everything’s shiny and messy and dripping down over his bare balls. a little lube would help a lot but you won’t kill the mood now by having the audacity to ask for it.
hyunjin’s head tips back against the couch. “fuck… that’s good.” he murmurs, voice angelic. “just like that… yeah.“
he’s enjoying the hell out of it.
his balls are drawn up tight already, adorable how men’s bodies work, smooth and warm, and when you drag your fingers down to cup them he lets out another one of those pretty sounds, a quiet “ahh… shit” that makes your pussy throb because who the fuck knew evil reincarnated, hwang hyunjin(he’s not even that bad you two are just dramatic about each other) could sound like that.
you keep it torturously slow, just like you did with chan. long strokes from base to tip, twisting at the head, squeezing just right so some pre oozes out.
you lean in close enough that your breath ghosts over the wet head and hyunjin’s fingers tighten in your hair. he likes the power situation he’s in.
his cock is finally leaking now, easier to work with. slick. shiny. you can feel his heartbeat in it, pulsing under your palm, so smooth and pretty because he fucking prepared for you.
“mmh. fuck, y/n… slower for a second.” he breathes. he’s so into it his cheeks are flushed, lips parted, that pretty evil face looking soft and unreal, best word for this man, while you work him.
you slow down even more, dragging your fist up inch by inch, feeling every little part of him, all the textures he has to give you.
only if changbin knew.
you squeeze a little tighter on the upstroke and he moans. his hips thrust up into your fist, chasing the feeling, you can tell he’s a good dancer just by the way he moves his hips. how he’s rolling into your hand.
he’s enjoying this so much it’s almost sweet.
you spit on him again and keep going. slow, slick strokes. both hands working him perfectly. some spit running down your wrist.
his head stays tipped back, eyes mostly closed, mouth open to let those beautiful moans slip out.
you keep stroking him slowly with both hands(one would work too but his cock is more entertaining than his cute little balls so you took that hand up too), twisting at the head every time you reach the top.
then you lean in a little closer, part your lips, and poke your tongue out.
you swirl it around the swollen head once. the moment your tongue pushed down hyunjin gasps, “ah—!” as he snaps his head down at you, pretty face twisting into this grimace of pleasure. wasn’t really ready for how fucking good it feels.
“ah… yeah… mm—” he mumbles, hips twitching up into your fist, wanting more.
slut.
you open your mouth wider, take the head between your lips and suck, starting hard already, tongue flicking fast against the sensitive underside while your hands keep working the base in tight strokes.
his fingers tighten in your hair. his eyes close. his mouth is open.
you bob your head faster, taking him deeper with every slide, cheeks hollowing on the way up so you suck him tight and wet. also leaving spit behind so it glides smoother.
you pull off for a second just to spit on him again, then dive right back down, taking him halfway, then deeper, until the head bumps the back of your throat and you swallow around him.
he gasps, and his free hand grabs the couch cushion hard. you feel another spurt of pre cum coat in your mouth. ew but also hot.
you start a brutal rhythm, fast, sloppy, wet, head bobbing, hands twisting and stroking everything you can’t fit, sucking hard every time you pull back so your lips drag over the head. everytime you take him deep your nose presses against his skin and you can smell whatever product he used mixed with that warm musky boy scent that makes your pussy ache.
you were made for men.
hyunjin is making all these soft, breathy, pretty little sounds now that he knows he can, no one else around, no reason to stay quiet. little “ah… ahh” everytime you swallow around him, moans when you twist your hands just right, little whimpers when you suck hard on the head and swirl your tongue around the slit at the same time.
his hips start rolling up to meet your mouth, shallow little thrusts. you let him, opening your throat more, taking him deeper until your eyes water and spit runs down your chin in thick strings.
you reach down with one hand and cup his balls, rolling them gently, tugging to make him moan louder,
“ah, yes, fuck. right there—”
he looks down at you the whole time, eyes barely open, making you feel things(wtf), that pretty face flushed and grimacing with every wave of pleasure. he knew you’d be this good.
a bitch to you at work, by the way.
you pull off with a disgustingly(in the hot way) wet sound, strings of spit connecting your swollen lips to his glistening cock, then immediately lick a long stripe from his balls all the way up to the head, then kissing back down, sucking one ball into your mouth and humming around it while your hand strokes him fast, tight.
hyunjin’s back arches off the couch, a loud moan coming out of him as his thighs flex, holding him up.
you switch to the other ball, sucking gently, tongue rolling over the silky skin, then lick back up and swallow him down again in one move.
you set a sweet little pace, deepthroating him over and over, gagging softly when he hits the back of your throat, spit and pre everywhere, dripping down your chin, soaking his balls, running down your wrist.
“ahh… mmh— god yes… just like that… you’re gonna make me cum so fucking hard…” his fingers are tight in your hair, guiding you just a little, hips rolling up to fuck your mouth, kind of.
you’re so turned on it hurts.
he throws his head back, mouth open, pretty face completely twisted up as he lets every sound out. breathy moans, humiliating whimpers, everything you can imagine coming from that pretty mouth that usually just hints for you to fuck off.
you suck him like a fucking vacuum. you take him as deep as you can, relaxing your throat until the fat head pushes past a muscle ring, your nose pressed into him as you gag and choke.
hyunjin is seeing heaven.
you hold there for a second, swallowing around him, struggling to, letting your throat squeeze and milk him while your tongue works the underside as much as you can make it.
hyunjin’s hips jerk up(painful to you) and he lets out this little “ahh— fuck—!” that sounds way too pretty for how evil he usually is.
you pull back slowly, dragging your lips tight along every inch, sucking hard so his cock comes out glossy and throbbing, a string of spit and pre stretching before you dive back down, head bobbing again, gluck gluck gluck.
you gag on him on purpose sometimes, wet little chokes, makes your eyes water and spit run down your chin in rivers. everytime you do it he moans louder.
you’re doing amazing and you know it. you switch it up constantly, not keeping a pace on purpose so he won’t cum that fast, deepthroating him until your nose is buried and your throat bulges, then pulling off to focus just on the head, sucking hard and fast while your tongue flicks and swirls around the sensitive slit, lapping up every fresh bead of pre that keeps leaking out.
you spit on him again, letting it drip down his smooth shaft before you stroke it in with both hands and suck the head back into your mouth. natural talent.
hyunjin’s mouth is hanging open now, pretty face completely twisted up, one eye closed as he stares down at you.
his mouth forms this perfect little o, eyebrows furrowed. the pleasure is unbearable. the soft breathy moans turn into real loud moans.
every time you swallow him deep his voice cracks higher, prettier, more powerful, and you don’t leave him hanging.
your head bobs faster, sloppy, throat suffering around him on every downstroke while your hand twists around the base you can’t fit without pain in your throat.
you press two fingers right behind his balls, rubbing that sensitive spot, and hyunjin’s whole body jerks, mouth dropping open wider as he lets out the loudest, prettiest moan yet.
thin hot ropes of cum shoot straight down your throat. pulse after pulse. weak, kind of, not what chan had. the taste is bitter and salty and kinda gross, but you keep sucking through it, swallowing every drop because he’s hot and mean and evil and you want it.
hyunjin’s hips stutter up into your mouth, cock jerking and twitching as he keeps cumming, more and more spurts meeting your skilled tongue. his fingers are gripping your hair so tight it hurts while his balls pulse in your hand, emptying everything he’s been saving up for this.
you swallow again and again, throat working around his throbbing cock, drinking down every bitter salty spurt until he’s finally empty and oversensitive.
even then you don’t stop right away, keep sucking gently, tongue swirling softly now over the head, getting the last weak drops out while he twitches and whimpers, soft little “mmh… mmh…” sounds.
his fingers loosen in your hair, stroking through it now almost tenderly. crazy that we got here from him shoving half eaten things into your hands. what a bitch.
you finally pull off, glad for air, strings of spit and leftover cum connecting your swollen lips to his spent cock. you swallow one last time, wiping your chin with a finger.
he stares down at you, eyes blown, chest rising slowly now.
“holy… fuck.” he breathes. “you’re… actually insane at that.”
you sit back on your heels, lips shiny and puffy, wipe your spit off your chin. like you didn’t just swallow his entire load while gagging on his dick.
“told you i’d do it.”
he takes his hand from your hair to tuck his spent cock back into his boxers with those pretty fingers. he pulls his jeans up just enough to button them.
“you want me to order something? food? anything you like. or… there’s drinks in the fridge. water, juice, that wine i mentioned earlier. i can get it for you. or— fuck, you can stay a bit longer if you want. just… chill.” a little too gentle for the usual hyunjin.
your jaw aches and your panties are soaked. “tempting, but was there actually something you needed help with tonight? or did you just want your dick sucked?”
he blinks. then lets out a short, embarrassed laugh, rubbing the back of his neck. “…just wanted my dick sucked.”
hm. you nod, then reach up and give his thigh a comforting, very professional squeeze. “okay. then i’ll head home now. you should get some rest too.”
his face drops instantly. disappointment. those pretty eyes widen a bit, brows pulling together, mouth opening. because who the fuck is hyunjin if not the type to catch feelings the second someone drains his balls properly? he just got the best head of his life and now you’re about to leave??
“wait— already?” he looks actually… kind of lost. “you don’t have to go right now. it’s late, but… stay for a bit. we can talk or something. i’ll order food, seriously. or at least let me drive you home.”
you stand up slowly, smoothing your clothes, keeping that sweet professionalism on your face even though your legs feel a little shaky. “i know, hyunjin. but i really need to sleep. goodnight, okay? get some rest.”
he looks so fucking disappointed it’s funny.
“y/n…” he tries again, softer, romantic. “c’mon. just a little longer. i— fuck, that was really good.“
“i’m glad you liked it. but i’m going home now. sleep well.”
it hits him like ice water. as hard as the cold water was explained in titanic. you… you don’t feel the same way he does. you have no “maybe next time i’ll stay” energy coming off you or a lingering look that says you want more.
you don’t give a fuck about him.
???
this was a clear message that this was a one time service, not the start of anything. that you’re not interested in him like that. not tonight, and probably not ever.
you turn toward the door and get your shoes on before he can come up with another excuse. he stands up fast, jeans still half open, and follows you a couple steps.
so needy.
“y/n…” he starts. at the door, he’s towering over you. still radiating that post nut warmth, and for a second he looks like he really wants to kiss you. eyes dropping to your swollen lips.
you just pat his chest once, light and friendly, right over his heart. “goodnight.”
then you let yourself out the door before he can say anything else.
he’s… hurt. the dismissal? the polite squeeze on his thigh? the pat you just gave him? the way you made it crystal clear you’re not staying, not cuddling, not interested in him beyond “helping” like you helped chan?
he wants you more now. fuck.
he wants to wipe that professional little smile off your face. he wants to hear you moan his name instead of just sucking him off in silence. he wants to make you stay next time, make you beg a little, make you look at him the way you probably looked at chan that night.
(you looked at him and chan the same way when you sucked them off. unlike them, you’re actually doing this for the business)
he drops onto the couch, still smelling like spit and cum and your perfume, and stares at the ceiling.
sigh.
okay. where is his phone? on the ground. must have fallen out his pocket when he fought his pants off.(pants off. you were the reason for that. you sucked him off. wow.)
group chat with the boys it is.
hyunjin: y/n sucked me off
hyunjin: came over
hyunjin: left already
let’s quote what you two talked about before you gave him head. “yeah. just… keep it between us.” “obviously.” genuinely how men keep secrets. dearest reader, don’t trust a boy with your secrets, ever.
han: WHAT
han: ???
jeongin: bro… you waited until bin was gone??? that’s so fucking foul lmao
jeongin: but also respect
jeongin: how was it tho?? she deepthroat? swallow?
hyunjin: both
jeongin: 🤤
felix: omg what
felix: my turn when
seungmin: respect ig
minho: 😂😂😂
(he’s looking at his screen with a straight face)
chan: hyune what the fuck did you do?
changbin just seen the messages.
what’s currently happening is changbin and chan are looking at each other. chan has his eyes about to fall out of his head. changbin has his little mouth open. the shock in the air.
then jeongin comes out of his room in just boxers again, phone in hand, laughing at the two.
changbin finally closes his mouth, cheeks pink. “he didn’t even tell me he was inviting her over. that’s so mean.”
“he’s an asshole for not saying anything.” chan mutters.
and hyunjin is pissed you left so easily. pissed you didn’t stay. pissed you made it feel like just another task.
but mostly he’s horny again.
the next day, the moment you step into the practice floor, you fucking know they know.
because they’re all… calm. weirdly, suspiciously calm.
eight grown men who definitely know you sucked two of their dicks.
hyunjin is sitting against a mirror, stretching his arms overhead. when he sees you come in he lifts one hand in a cute little wave.
“morning, y/n.” the asshole.
you nod back, polite as ever. “morning.”
chan is checking something on some tablet, but when you hand him something he asked for yesterday, he looks up at you.
“thanks. you sleep okay?”
you smile. “yeah, i did. you?”
“better than usual.” then goes back to his tablet.
changbin smiles at you and bows a lil. han gives you a little “woah, you’re early today” giving you space like a respectful grown man. it’s almost scarier than when he was all over your lap. felix nods once with a small, friendly smile. jeongin looks a bit shy, smiling at you with that beautiful mouth. minho stays cool, as usual. you admire how mature he is. seungmin, mr nonchalant, takes his stuff with a neutral “thanks” y’know, the usual.
and… the day’s normal. it’s fucking eerie. “y/n, towel please.” “y/n, can you check my phone?” y/n this, y/n that.
how are you not fired yet? you had two of their dicks in your mouth. two.
by the time the day ends at 11pm everyone is exhausted. god, you’d give them a break if you could. but for now, all you can do is make their days easier.
they thank you one by one as they head out, eye contact, small nods. manly. they’re cute.
cute on purpose. these are actors.
chan squeezes your shoulder gently before he leaves. “good work today. go home and sleep.” and hyunjin smiles at you with a raise of his brows.
that’s about all the extra shit that happened. nothing else, for now.
you finally make it back to your place close to midnight, feet aching, brain dead, full of thoughts. surprisingly, even though you get anxious easily, you know you can’t come off wrong from this situation, so you don’t feel bad.
the boys have whole careers at stake doing this, not you. so you’re fine. horny. feel powerful.
you can feel how every single one of them is now waiting, patient and polite(on the surface, just again, they were trained to act), to see what happens next.
tomorrow is going to be another long day.
cuz like… every single one of them is trying, really trying, to stay professional. they’re idols, after all. contracts, image, cameras everywhere.
but they also just really, really want to get some.
that comes out on different levels, though. and they control it on different levels too.
like, chan is relatively good at it, even though he already got a taste. he just… wants it again, that’s the case.
he’s doing the best job at pretending nothing changed, but every time you lean close to give him something or adjust his collar he remembers your mouth stretched around him and his throat goes tight.
he’s glad he has you, genuinely glad, but the guilt is eating at him. conflict looks good on him.
minho is way too mature to act on his desire. i mean, when the time feels right he’ll ask, he thinks. or maybe he won’t ask at all. maybe he’ll just pull you into his lap one day and see what happens. for now he sits, and sees.
changbin feels a little betrayed that hyunjin didn’t tell him, but mostly he feels this warm, nervous want. he’s scared to ask. terrified, actually. so he just stays close, hoping you’ll notice how great he is.
“does your back hurt carrying all our stuff? you can lean on me if you want…” NOT. SUBTLE. BUDDY.
hyunjin, fucking hell, hyunjin. he’s noticeably nicer to you. much more fair because boys are only nice to girls who they would fuck. and hyunjin, as we know, wants that cookie. bad.
well, he doesn’t like you, he likes your mouth. big difference.
han wants to ask so bad. he wants to know if you’d bounce on his dick the way you bounced him on your lap. but even he has enough brain cells to know blurting “can you suck me off too?” would be insane. so he just keeps touching, keeps hoping you’ll offer like you did for the others. embarrassiiiing.
felix is praying. like, literally. plus, he doesn’t know how he should reach out, or if he even should. he’s waiting for the right moment, playing it cool while internally begging whatever higher power exists to let him have a turn. plus he has more serious mental tortures than this now, he wants pussy but it’s not his main goal now.
oh, seungmin notices when hyunjin is nicer to you. he notices when chan watches you longer or wants you around for a longer time.
the thought of actually asking you “hey y/n, can you suck me off like you did for the others?” makes him want to throw up from nerves. he’s too shy.
jeongin, with the boys, aka his comfort zone, he’s all cheeky, clapping arms and making gross jokes and whatever thing only boys do and is so cute actually. but the second he’s alone with you, he gets shy. his cheeks go pink when he has to ask you for something simple.
he keeps replaying the night you saw him in just boxers, god, why wasn’t he interested in you(the services your mouth has) then?
everytime he opens his mouth to say something flirty it dies in his throat and he ends up mumbling “thanks, y/n…” and he scurries away to hide behind minho.
he’s your boss. he’s bigger than you in any possible situation. but right now he feels small and stupid and so fucking horny he could cry. he likes you. that makes asking for head feel impossible!
and through the next days, you really clearly begin to see them lose their professionalism. well, not completely lose it, they’re not that piss brained, but they’re clearly doing shit they can get castrated for if caught.
but they trust you though not to spill anything.
chan talks with you during lunch one day. like, the two of you separate from other people. it’s nice, he actually opens up more, tells you about a song he’s writing that’s too personal(boundaries daddy, boundaries), asks what you think. his hand brushes your lower back when he thanks you. his dick is hard the entire conversation. he wants your mouth again so fucking bad but he’s also starting to want the conversations. duality of man.
jeongin tries to talk to you twice and both times chickens out. first time he opens his mouth, says “y/n, can i—” then turns bright red and pretends he needed water. second time he just blurts “hi hey hello” and immediately wants to die.
minho sits next to you on a couch while you’re on your laptop. doesn’t say much, just lives around next to you. when the boys start shouting at each other across the room he laughs loud with them. it’s cute. he has a beautiful smile.
seungmin gives you the usual quiet “hi” when you hand him something. later you overhear him making every one of them laugh their fucking asses off. around you? radio silence. weird, how he works.
the others behave. mostly. nothing else weird happened, but still, their brains are 90% cum and 10% “what if she sucks me off next.”
hyunjin is the best at the whole nothing happened game. he’s a professional little actor when he wants to be. during morning rehearsal he barks “y/n, my water” in the exact same pissy tone as always, but then he actually throws a “thanks” your way?? in this economy??
he wants to drag you into a storage closet or something and make you stay this time, but he’s too good at pretending. he just gets a little nicer, holding a door for you once, even. holy shit.
changbin does try though. again, unprofessional, and he knows that, and he follows you down the hallway again anyway.
“y/n, do you like strawberries? i saw this new cafe that does strawberry milk… not that i’m asking you out or anything, just… if you ever want one after schedule…” he trails off, cheeks pink, then quickly adds “or i can just bring you one here. or whatever.”
when hyunjin walks past and gives you a tiny nod changbin wants to go after him and choke the guy.
usually, the days just blur together, and you’re thrilled to see how they’re going to reach out next.
one afternoon hyunjin “accidentally” drops his towel right in front of you and when you bend down to pick it up he mutters “keep it” like it’s a gift instead of his sweaty ass towel. chan sees it and gives hyunjin the world’s most disappointed dad look(paired with a boyish little scoff, wow chan you almost looked mature for a second) but then later pulls you aside himself, asking if you want to go over some things with him after practice “just the two of us, no pressure.” you say sure and he’s visibly nervous.
what a time to be employed.
yeah, you and chan do start building something, even if it’s not consciously built.
he pulls you aside more during work, technically always asking about work related things but really it’s just hanging out. he needs something only you seem to give him.
he wants that cookie so fucking bad.
mostly the relief it gives. the way your mouth turned his brain off for ten beautiful minutes and let him breathe like a normal twenty something guy instead of the guy carrying eight careers on his back.
one afternoon after a killer dance practice he’s drenched in sweat that you so want to lick off, chest heaving, and he waves the others off. “i’ll stay a bit longer. y/n, can you help me go over the new formation notes?”
the boys leave, shooting looks, but nobody says shit.
it’s just you and chan in the empty practice room, mirrors reflecting you two from every angle.
he sits on the floor against the wall, legs stretched out, and pats the spot next to him. you sit. he smells like humans(in the good way) and that expensive cologne and pure man.
you go over the notes but after ten minutes the papers are forgotten on the floor between you.
“you know… that night.” he starts, staring at the mirror instead of you. “it helped more than i thought it would. not just the… physical part. having someone who doesn’t expect anything back. who just helps.” he rubs the back of his neck, cringe ass but it actually means a lot, coming from him. “i keep thinking about it. it was nice. you’re nice to have around, y/n.”
“thank you. really, means a lot that i can help.”
now you’re professional. you don’t tell him what you feel on a deeper level, just the surface shit. noncommittal.
he wants the relief again so bad he can taste it. he wants to feel your throat squeeze around him he wants to cum so hard he forgets the comeback schedule for five whole minutes.
but he doesn’t ask. he’s really trying to keep himself in line because he has shit to focus on. he has work, for fuck’s sake.
it’s… a fucking joke. their careers, their contracts, their reputations, all of it could go up in flames if one wrong person finds out, but right now every single one of them is thinking with the head between their legs instead of the one on their shoulders.
chan feels the most responsibility, but he’s still using every charm trick in the book. just again, they were trained to charm people, and he’s using that.
mr leader knows exactly what he’s doing when he pulls you into quiet corners “just to talk.” when his voice gets a little softer, a little slower. what a charmer.
even though he’s aware of all the risks, he still does it.
because he wants the relief so bad. he wants your mouth again. he wants the way you make the torture in his head stop.
so he charms you gently, carefully, building whatever this is. he feels bad about it. but not bad enough to stop, because it’s… it’s like an addiction. it is an addiction, the way addicts know the drug is bad for them but they’re already reaching for the next dose because their body got to know it and now needs it. that’s what’s happening, basically.
blowjob can NOT be this good.
(it can. you really are a talent at giving them, y/n)
the others don’t feel anything at all. they just want to get some action. plain and simple.
like, hyunjin is nicer???(it’s working. you can feel it.) han asks questions that feel personal??? minho uses that idol trained eye contact that makes you feel like the only girl in the room even when there are twenty staff members running around??? seungmin lets you go ahead of him??? felix giggles at everything you say??? jeongin’s eyes are always on you whatever you’re doing??? changbin follows you around all day???
it’s all so fucking unprofessional it’s almost impressive.
these men have everything to lose.
but they’re still thinking with their dicks.
they know one leaked rumor could end everything. but the thought of your mouth, your hands, some relief, pussy, makes their heads turn.
they linger. they find excuses. it’s stupid.
but they’re trained to charm.
they’re trained to get what they want.
and right now what they want more than anything is you getting them off. men can really want a thought when they already settled into it in their heads.
and work is just so much, so stressing, that chan just neeeeds you at their place again!
so you go.
it’s late. jeongin’s already asleep in his room. the only light is the soft glow from chan’s laptop on the desk and the small lamp beside his bed. you’re both sitting on the edge of his bed, laptops open, going over shit.
but the air is thick.
chan has been restless the entire evening, shifting his weight, rubbing the back of his neck, whatnot. you can feel the tension coming off him.
finally, after ten straight minutes of him staring at the same line on the screen without typing anything, he closes his laptop with a quiet click.
“y/n.”
you look up.
he takes a rough breath, eyes flicking away for a second before they come back to you. visibly fighting with himself. “i… fuck. this is hard to ask. i know we said one time. but tonight… i… i think i really need another… one. if you’d be willing to… do that again. for me.”
you immediately close your laptop, set it aside, slide off the bed, dropping to your knees between his spread thighs without a word.
holy shit.
his eyes actually widen.
wow.
how did he get his lucky?
“thank you.” he says immediately, shakily taking the laptop off his lap. “i— i appreciate this more than i can say right now. seriously. you don’t know how much.”
you smile up at him, hands resting on his thick thighs. “i got you.”
your palms slide up his thighs, feeling the hard muscle tense under the thin sweatpants. you press your thumbs into the seam where his legs meet his hips, rubbing small circles, feeling him under the fabric. the human. the man.
chan’s breath hitches, watching you.
you’re an angel. sent to him personally from the clouds of heaven.
you lean in and press a soft, open mouthed kiss to the inside of his left thigh, right above the knee, then another a little higher.
chan’s fingers twitch against his legs.
you move to the right thigh, repeating the same kisses, working your way up inch by inch while your hands keep rubbing soothing patterns on the outside of his thighs.
when you reach the crease where his leg meets his groin you pause, breathing warm air through the fabric right over the growing bulge. you can already see the luring outline forming, starting to push against the (disgustingly expensive, but he can afford it so whatever) material.
“fuck… y/n…”
you take a soft breath, then mouth gently along the length of him through the sweatpants, lips parted, tongue pressing on the fabric so he can feel what’s about to come.
you trace the entire shape of him, base to tip, slow and sensual, feeling him thicken and harden under your mouth until the fabric is stretched.
this is the hottest thing anyone has ever done to him.
your hands slide higher, fingers hooking into the waistband. you kiss the spot right above the waistband, then drag your tongue in a slow, wet stripe up the center of his abs over his shirt. the muscle jumps.
chan’s head tips back slightly, throat working as he swallows hard. fucking hell, this is unreal. he’s going to bust now.
your tug the pants down reeeaaal slow, letting the fabric move on his skin. letting him feel he’s alive. he lifts his hips to help, breath catching when the cool air hits him.
his boxers come next, you peel them down carefully, watching his cock come free.
he’s manscaped now. oh, hello. completely. smooth skin all around the base, not a single hair left, balls silky and bare because he took the time to do this just in case you ended up here again.
the sight makes your mouth water. the intent makes your mouth water. his cock looks even bigger without the hair. it twitches the second your eyes land on it, bobbing once like it knows you’re looking. hi to you too.
you wrap one hand around the base first, gentle, feeling the warmth of him, the way the smooth skin slides over the hardness underneath. chan lets out a low, shaky exhale through his nose, thighs tensing under your palm. you give him one slow stroke from root to tip, thumb pressing lightly right under the head(where you learned he’s most sensitive. that’s intimate.) his cock jumps in your grip, a thick drop of pre leaking out and sliding down the shaft, making your work easier.
god, this man is pouring pre compared to what you had to work with on hyunjin. but you’re not complaining about either.
“fuck…” he mutters, one hand coming down to hold on the back of your head.
you smile up at him, then look back down to lean in closer, breath ghosting over him, and drag your tongue in one long stripe from the base all the way up to the head.
chan’s whole body shudders.
you swirl your tongue around the head once, tasting the saltiness, then pull back to watch his reaction.
his cock twitches again, harder this time, another bead of pre pushing out right where your tongue just was.
you lean back in and lick it off slowly, dragging the tip of your tongue over the slit, pressing hard enough to make him hiss softly between his teeth.
one hand strokes him long while the other cups his smooth balls, rolling them gently in your palm, feeling how warm and heavy they are, how they tighten up everytime you lick over the head. you tug lightly on his sack, making his hips twitch up, and chan groans, fingers flexing in your hair.
“thank you… fuck, thank you.”
you’re welcome, daddy.
you lick him again, slower this time, tracing every vein with the tip of your tongue, feeling the way his cock jumps and leaks for you with every pass. you pull him down slightly with your hand so you can drag your tongue along the sensitive underside, right where the head meets the shaft, and chan almost leans forward from the pleasure. this is way better than fucking his first in the shower.
his cock is fully hard now, standing thick and flushed and glossy with your spit and his pre, the shaved skin making every little reaction so much more visible. the way it throbs, the way the head swells darker every time you swirl your tongue around it, the way his balls draw up tighter in your hand because they’re already getting close.
you keep stroking him with a slow, sensual rhythm, twisting your wrist just right at the top, thumb pressing into the slit to spread the fresh pre around while your tongue follows right behind, licking and teasing and tasting.
chan’s breathing is getting heavier, chest rising and falling under his shirt. he’s already relieved.
you pull his skin down again, licking slow circles around the head, then take just the tip into your mouth, sucking softly while your hand keeps stroking the rest of him, tight.
chan lets out this low groan, head tipping back, the sound vibrating through his whole hot body.
you look up at him from between his thick thighs and jesus fucking christ he’s hot.
his chest is rising and falling under his (white)shirt, sweat starting to bead at his hairline because he’s running so fucking warm. his cock literally radiating warmth in your hand. it’s been dying for this. for your touch again.
he reaches down to pull his shirt off.
chan. shirtless.
skin and pure muscle right in front of your face. his abs and pecs flex when he tosses the fabric aside, a light layer of sweat already making him glow under the lamp. oh that’s dada. big manly body, veins standing out on his arms, bruises from all the treatments he gets, cupping and allat, that deep v line pointing straight to his smooth shaved cock. no need to point here you come.
you open your mouth wide, tongue flat, and take him in deep right from the start. the head slides over your tongue, thick and hot and salty, unpleasant but also hot, and you don’t stop until your nose is buried in that smooth shaved skin at his base.
he actually has to whip his head up.
you hold him there for a second, swallowing hard, letting your throat work him while your nose presses into his warm skin.
you pull back slowly, lips dragging along every thick inch, sucking hard so your cheeks hollow. you don’t pull off tho. you bob your head instead, taking him to the back of your throat over and over, gagging. spit runs down your chin. everytime you push down your throat squeezes around the head and chan’s hips twitch up.
“thank you, y/n… god thank you…”
you look up at him while you suck, eyes watering, lips formed obscenely around his shaft, and the eye contact makes him cry out. jeongin sleeping next room be damned.
he’s so hot like this. you can see how much he wants this, how bad he’s been thinking about your mouth since last time. that’s also told by the way his cock leaks constantly now, just again, brutal compared to what hyunjin gave you, thick salty pre coating your tongue and sliding down your throat every time you take him. he’s too hot for you to mind the taste.
you pull off with a wet squelch, strings of spit connecting your swollen lips to his glistening cock, and spit on him, then stroke your fingers up and down his slick shaft while you suck just the head hard. your tongue swirls around the sensitive underside, flicking right where it meets the head, and chan’s whole body jerks.
“ah, fuck— right there—”
you take him back down, nose to skin, and start bobbing faster, head moving, gluck gluck on him. spit is everywhere, running down your chin, dripping off your jaw, soaking his smooth balls and thighs.
you reach up with one hand and roll his balls gently, tugging them down to make him hiss then moan. cock jumps hard in your mouth at that, another spurt of pre arriving on your tongue. you like how much he gives you.
the attraction between you two is insane. you can feel how much he wants you, how grateful he is, how he’s truly living in this moment. and you’re so fucking attracted to him it hurts. it’s mutual.
you suck harder. deeper. sloppier. you take him all the way every time, throat working around him, nose pressed to him while your tongue licks the underside. you gag on purpose, letting your throat spasm around the head, and chan groans loud and long, head falling back.
he’s actually letting out little moans now between the loud hisses. you can feel how close he is, how bad he wants to cum.
you look up again and lock eyes with him while your lips are stretched around the base of his cock, throat full, spit dripping down your chin, and the pure animal attraction in his gaze makes your stomach flip.
he’s so fucking grateful and so fucking turned on he doesn’t know what to do with it.
you’re doing it so fucking well. you’re making him feel so good.
his hips snap up. his thick cock drives straight into your throat with a desperate thrust. the head punches past the ring of muscle in there and buries itself deep, stretching your throat wide open.
you gag hard around him, throat convulsing, eyes watering instantly as spit explodes out the corners of your mouth and you instinctively try to pull back.
but oh, look at that, he’s holding your head in place.
“fuck, sorry.” he moans, but his hips do come up again, slower this time but still greedy, pushing another inch deeper.
he starts thrusting.
animal, hungry snaps of his hips that force his thick cock in and out of your face. every thrust makes a wet, obscene ack sound as your throat bulges around him. spit flies everywhere, splattering onto his balls, running down your neck.
his big hand tightens in your hair, gripping hard to hold you right where he needs you. his other hand braces on the bed behind him so he can fuck your mouth deeper. his abs are clenched and moving, v line flexing every time he drives up, sweat sliding down the lines and dips of his muscles.
he’s whining and moaning and groaning for you. holy fuck you might die but he’s hot.
tears spill down your cheeks, mixing with the spit, but you keep your eyes locked on him the whole time.
fuck, he looks... angelic. naked, sweaty, mouth open, eyes dumb as he watches his thick cock disappear between your lips over and over. sometimes head tipping back for a second before he looks back down.
he starts really pounding.
deep, brutal thrusts that force his cock all the way down until his balls smack wetly against your chin.
spit bubbles out around the sides of your stretched lips, dripping in long strings onto the floor. it’ll dry, no big deal.
you take it. you want it. even when your eyes are streaming tears and your gag reflex keeps trying to fight back and it hurts both your throat and stomach, you relax your throat as much as you can and let him ruin it. your nails dig into his thighs, holding on for dear life.
you can feel how close he is. the way his thighs shake around your head. the way his abs clench harder. the way his body moves.
he fucks your face faster, hips snapping up desperately, using your mouth like a toy. “y/n— i’m— fuck— i’m gonna— ahh—”
one last deep, brutal thrust, cock buried to the hilt, your nose smashed against his smooth skin, throat stretched wide around him, and he starts cumming with a long, wild groan.
you gag around his length, cum and spit forcing its way back up around his cock because there’s just too much. it leaks out the corners of your stretched lips, running down your chin, white and disgusting, running down your neck while he keeps pumping cum into you.
chan’s whole body is shaking, groaning as he empties himself.
“fuck— yes— good girl, yeah.”
okay suddenly it doesn’t hurt.
who are you kidding it hurts so much.
some of it comes back up, mixing with all the spit, making everything disgusting, your nails still dug into his thighs as you throw his cum up around him.
when the last weak spurt finally dribbles onto your tongue, chan slumps back against the bed, chest heaving, cock still deep in your throat.
you slowly pull off, coughing and gasping for air, strings of cum and spit and lowk stomach acid connecting your swollen lips to his cock. you have to spit out what’s left in your mouth, really wouldn’t be able to take that down now, then wipe your chin with the back of your hand, smearing it across your skin, breathing loud.
chan reaches down immediately, thumb brushing your wet cheek. “fuck, y/n, i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to be that rough. you okay?”
you look up at him, lips puffy, face messy, and nod. it hurts. “i’m fine. i wanted it.” you sound so bad.
he lets out a shaky breath. wow. “thank you.”
“anytime, chan.”
…
the air changes from the eye contact alone.
…is this really going to happen?
your heart starts hammering so loud you can hear it in your ears. you can see the exact moment the thought crosses his mind.
his eyes drop to your mouth again, then lower, tracing the mess on your chin, the way your chest is heaving. his hand, still in your hair, flexes in it.
he shouldn’t.
he knows he shouldn’t.
you’re his assistant. this already crossed multiple lines two times now.
but the way he’s looking at you says he wants to cross every single one of them tonight.
is this really going to happen?
is he really about to cross that line?
fuck it.
he leans down, and kisses you.
line crossed.
it’s deep, hungry, and shockingly soft at first. his lips are warm, so big, so manly. then it deepens. his mouth opens in time with yours, tongue slides against yours, slow, wet, making you shiver.
he murmurs a “come here.” and his hands slide under your arms, lifting you up towards him.
you climb up his body, knees sinking into the bed on either side of his hips, and he leans back until he’s lying flat, pulling you down on top of him so your chest presses against his bare, sweaty one.
his hands immediately find your ass.
big, warm palms cupping you fully, fingers digging in. he squeezes, he’s been dying to know what you feel like there.
a satisfied groan escapes him when he realizes how perfect you fit in his hands.
“fuck…” he breathes against your mouth, kissing you again, slower this time but just as deep and wet and disgusting, tongue licking into you. he knows you taste like this because he was in your mouth. maybe he’ll get to experience your mouth purely one day too. his hips roll up, searching for you(so cute), poking the head of his thickening cock against your lower stomach.
he wants it so bad.
he wants to be completely naked under you while you stay fully clothed.
he wants to feel every inch of your body pressed against his bare skin, your clothes rubbing against his cock, your hands on his chest while he lies there exposed and desperate. he wants to watch you live on the line between professional and the girl who just swallowed his load. he wants your weight on him, your ass in his hands, your mouth on his again while he’s completely vulnerable underneath you.
there is no more “fuck i know i shouldn’t” both of you are completely in it now. both of you have accepted that this is happening, even though you don’t exactly know where it’ll end up. but it’s happening. and it feels so fucking good.
and god, the way he’s sucking on your bottom lip, biting it gently, then licking into your mouth again with these low groans and moans? irresistible.
your bodies are pressed together so tight it’s… it’s the most intimate you’ve been with this man and you’ve literally had his dick down your throat twice. his bare chest is sweaty, hot under your shirt, nipples hard little points, the little guys basically looking for you as you’re holding yourself up above him.
he breaks the kiss with a wet pop and immediately latches onto your neck.
“fuck…” you whisper, head tilting to the side.
his lips are warm and big and perfect on him and for you, sucking marks you’ll have to cover tomorrow.
are you really letting your boss do this?
yeah, no doubt. it’s too addictive to stop.
he keeps going, sucking a bruise right where your neck meets your shoulder, then just softly sucking at it some more.
“mmh… you taste so good.” mr unprofessional mutters into your skin, sucking another mark. his hands squeeze your ass harder, fingers sinking into the soft flesh, kneading it, pleasuring his little man mind.
he takes the two big handfuls and pulls your cheeks apart, spreading you wide even through your pants. you can feel the stretch. you can feel the fabric of your underwear pulling against your asshole, the cool air hitting the sensitive little ring for a split second before his hands push you back together. he does it again, harder, pulling your ass open so wide that the seam of your pants digs right against your clit and you actually feel your hole stretch a tiny bit, that weird, dirty little tug that makes your whole pussy clench hard.
you cry out.
high and needy and shocked at how good it feels. your hips jerk down against his cock on instinct, grinding, god, what a good girl you are, and chan exhales into your neck with a sound.
because oh… you like that?
he does it again, slower, pulling your ass cheeks so far apart you feel your asshole stretch open just a little more, tells you everything. he’s testing. he’s curious. he’s so fucking turned on by the idea that his sweet little assistant likes having her ass played with that he can’t help himself.
he keeps kneading, keeps spreading, imagining what it would feel like without clothes.
every time he pulls hard you feel that delicious, dirty stretch, the way your asshole flutters and it’s all for your boss.
you’re whimpering into his shoulder now, face buried in his neck, hips rolling around to bear with the feeling.
chan might actually marry you.
he’s so hard again it has to hurt. his cock is leaking between you, you can feel the wet spot on your pants from it, the head of his dick catching right against your mound when he rolls his hips up to meet you.
he pulls your ass apart again, really hard this time, thumbs spreading you so wide you swear you can feel the cool air in your actual hole for a second.
“ah, fuck—” you cry out.
that makes his cock jump against you. so sweet, the way it reacts to your voice.
he spreads you wide, mouth still sucking marks into your neck, holds you open for a long second, then lets your cheeks snap back together before doing it all over again. every pull makes your asshole stretch and flutter, every squeeze makes your pussy clench and leak into your panties. you’re so wet it’s embarrassing.
you shift, you can’t even decide who’s more unprofessional now, you or him, because you do that so your clit can be the part where his cock is grinding to.
holy fuck.
his breathing gets hotter, humanly intimate, hot puffs against your neck. his cock is sliding between your folds now through two layers of clothes.
he pulls your ass open one more time, extra slow, extra wide, thumbs pressing right next to your hole.
he’s thinking about something.
you can feel the way your asshole stretches, the little ring of muscle pulling, and the pleasure of it makes your eyes roll back for a second. you cry out again, louder, hips stuttering down hard against his cock.
one of his hands shifts. his pointer finger slides down the crease of your ass, pressing over your pants, right against that stretched little hole. rubs slow circles over it, feeling the way your asshole flutters under the fabric every time he presses down.
the cheeky little shit.
and he keeps kissing your neck, sucking marks, grinding his cock up against your clothed pussy while his finger teases your asshole over your clothes. and here you thought he was vanilla.
oh, right, yeah, you. you’re shaking on top of him now, whimpering, grinding down desperately while his finger keeps pushing your hole.
he’s so hot under you. so fucking big and warm and hard and grateful and greedy all at once. his other hand is still kneading the other cheek, spreading it open so his finger can keep playing with your asshole. his mouth is still on your neck, sucking and licking and biting, leaving himself behind.
it feels so fucking good.
deep down, you needed this almost just as much as he needs your blowjobs. you’re stressed too, well, not carrying your whole group on your back like he does, but no matter how deep the water is if someone’s drowning.
point is, you’ve been pent up too.
and you really needed this tension now.
but… okay, you do need it, but how will it affect your career? you’re building a life for yourself still. you’re so young, and if you fumble this chance to grow yourself now…
fuck. fine.
“chan, wait.” you stammer, breathless. your hands push lightly at his chest, feeling the sweaty muscle underneath your palms. “we… we shouldn’t—”
“c’mon…”
it’s dripping with everything he’s not saying out loud, how bad he wants you, how good you feel on top of him, how he’s been thinking about this since the first time you dropped to your knees.
his finger presses a little firmer into your asshole, and his other hand squeezes your ass harder, pulling you down so his cock grinds up against your soaked pussy again.
your breath catches. for one stupid, weak second you almost give in. he feels so fucking good under you, and…
“just a little more. feels too good to stop now.” he mutters into your neck. it tickles. it’s hot. it’s inviting.
fuck. he’s so convincing.
no.
you’re gonna be professional(bit late for that innit) even if he’s not.
you sit up straighter, hands still on his chest, and shake your head even though your body is screaming at you to keep going.
chan freezes under you. his hands stay on your ass for a second longer before they finally slide away, and he lets you go.
he’s panting under you, chest heaving, sweat glistening on his abs, cock still rock hard and ready to go against his stomach.
for a moment he just stares at you, fighting the ugre to grab you and pull you back down. then reality seems to hit him. his mucsles relax a little. he runs a hand over his face, exhaling through his nose.
“yeah.” he mutters. “you’re right. fuck.”
he swallows, adam’s apple bobbing, and closes his eyes. trying to pull himself the fuck together. when he opens them again there’s a mix of frustration and something like respect, maybe even a little shame.
“i’m sorry.” he says quietly, still panting. “i got carried away. you’re… you’re much smarter than me right now.”
the tension is unfinished, but maybe it’s meant to be. (it’s not. you two are MEANT to fuck, you two basically have been created for each other, just sadly, both of you value your careers)
“thank you.” he says quietly. “for stopping me. and… for everything else tonight. i mean it.”
you look beautiful, to him. straddling him, panting, neck covered in his marks. he wants you.
“it’s okay, chan. we’re good.”
you take a breath. okay. you climb off him carefully, legs not stable at all, and sit down on the edge of the bed next to him. he sits up, reaches over and grabs the blanket from the foot of the bed, throwing it over his lap to cover his still hard cock and those smooth thighs. the fabric tents obviously, but at least it’s something.
for a long moment, neither of you says anything.
then you look at each other.
then you smile.
then you laugh.
not on purpose. really do laugh, you couldn’t stop it even if you tried to.
you can both feel it, this human understanding in the air between you two. this is so going to happen again. not tonight, but soon. the tension isn’t gone. it’s just paused. not even paused, just resisted, for fuck’s sake. both of you get this.
you clear your throat, trying to sound normal. “uh… do we have anything else to work on? the schedule tomorrow or—”
“no. go home, y/n. you need to rest.” he pauses, then adds with a small smile “i’ll tell management to give you the day off tomorrow if you want it. you’ve earned it. more than earned it.”
“i won’t take it. you know i won’t.”
“yeah. i know.” he reaches over and gives your knee a gentle squeeze, but soon pulls his hand back. he wanted to keep it there longer. “but seriously. go sleep. i’ll see you in the morning.”
you stand up slowly, legs still shaky, and fix your clothes. your neck tickles where he sucked those pretty marks, your panties are soaked, and your lips feel puffy.
chan watches you the whole time, blanket still over his lap, eyes… fucking shining.
“goodnight, chan.”
“goodnight, y/n.”
you nod, pack your bag in like three fucking moves, and slip out of the room as quietly as you can.
jeongin’s door is still closed. good.
your neck is going to be a nightmare to cover tomorrow. your pussy is still throbbing. and you can still feel this thing between the two of you. it’s so… raw.
inevitable, really.
so it’s only natural that the next day’s gonna be torture too.
okay, it’s not torture anymore. when you freshly started working for them, it really was, but now even though you do have the perfect reasons to call it torture, really, you like it. you like the push and pull. cat and mouse game that you can feel, you just don’t know if they know you feel.
you walk into the building in the morning with a high neck shirt and enough concealer to paint a house. chan did a great work on your neck. purple and red marks all over the side of your throat where he sucked.
hot.
every time you swallow it still hurts from how deep he fucked your face last night.
you’re exhausted, horny, and professional as always.
now though, the guys don’t know about last night. hyunjin thinks he’s the latest conquest. chan is keeping his mouth shut for once.
so the energy is… weird.
and they’re too busy to notice you’re marked.
“morning, y/n.” that’s hyunjin. not suspecting a single thing, which is good for his ego, actually.
you nod and keep moving.
chan’s trying so hard to act normal it’s almost funny. when you hand him his drink he takes it with a quiet “thanks” (remember that at the very start of this he wouldn’t even look at you, not alone grunt a thanks out?) and his eyes flick to your high collar, then away.
you can see the guilt(not about what he did to your neck, about what he did to his career) and the horniness mixing in his expression.
the memory of his mouth on your neck, his hands spreading your ass, his cock leaking against your clothed pussy.
he clears his throat and goes back to his laptop, but his eyes are obviously kept there with force. you just noticed how cute his mouth is.
minho? acts the same as usual. he’s so professional that you couldn’t even tell he wants his cute little assistant to suck him the fuck off.
changbin finds you on the hallway again. babe, go back to work. “you look a little tired today.” he says. “did you sleep okay?” boi just say you want to hit.
he has no idea you spent half the night with chan’s tongue in your mouth and his finger teasing your asshole and it’s an amazing feeling. you just smile and say you’re fine.
han is also normal. why wouldn’t he be, he doesn’t know of the nasty shit you do.
felix comes at you with the “you smell nice today. new perfume?” no baby it’s your best friend’s body’s natural smell and cum that you’re kind of nasty for not washing off but we’re not shaming anyone here. anyways, you shake your head. he smiles, his prettiest on purpose, convinced he’s gonna tap that one day.
seungmin, not much to say either. looks up at you only when you talk to him first. acting aaaaall nonchalant, we know you want some, minnie.
jeongin manages to talk to you with proper sentences this time!! “you okay? you look like you got attacked by a vacuum or something. long night?”
your heart jumps, does he know?, but he’s just teasing. he has no idea how right he is. how on point he was with the vacuum, while really he just meant your hair being a little messy, not the actual suction your neck endured.
during afternoon practice chan pulls you aside for two seconds in the hallway when no one’s looking.
“you okay?” he asks, eyes flicking to your covered neck. “i didn’t… go too far last night?”
you shake your head, smiling(your pussy clenches at the memory of his thumbs spreading your ass). “i’m fine. really.”
he nods, looks away, looks back, then reaches up and gently adjusts your collar.
the tension is insane.
he wants to kiss you again. you can see it in his eyes. he wants to drag you into the nearest room and finish what you started.
but he doesn’t. he just drops his hand and steps back.
“good. go rest when you can.” he says. then he walks back, holding the door open for you.
your panties have been uncomfortable all day from how wet you stayed thinking about his hands.
the sexual tension with him is unbearable now. every day, every time you’re alone for even thirty seconds it wakes up again. the restraint is killing him, and it’s… well, it’s not killing you.
just again, you’re here for work. you have no reason in the world to worry.
he was going to text you hundreds of times. how he couldn’t stop thinking about how you felt on top of him, dumb, vulnerable shit like this, but he stopped himself. unprofessional.
hyunjin is a close second, and he’s getting impatient.
he wants his second round so badly it’s fucking funny. hilarious. you’re slapping your thigh bending over laughing the second you get home.
he starts finding excuses to be alone with you, asking you to help with this, help with that, saying “you owe me another visit sometime” it all tells you he’s dying for it. he wants to feel your throat again.
the fact that you’re keeping him at arm’s length is only making him want it more.
they’re just boys. that’s the thing.
biologically they’re built like fucking animals once their dicks get hard. testosterone floods the system, logical thinking takes a backseat, dopamine and vasopressin are flooding their dumb little brains.
suddenly the logical, professional brain that knows you’re staff and this is dangerous to their lives gets completely overridden by the part that just wants to fuck and claim and cum. it’s not even their fault, millions of years of evolution made sure that this happens.
that’s why they’re moving, circling like this. why chan can’t stop touching you when no one’s looking. why hyunjin gets pissy and horny every time you stop looking at him. why the rest of them keep finding excuses to be near you, eyes lingering on your mouth, your neck, your ass.
now that we’re at asses, fun fact, the reason why we’re so attracted to them is brutally biological. same with breasts. big tits? signals good milk production for babies. fat ass? means wide hips for carrying and birthing. smooth skin, soft curves, the way you smell when you’re turned on, their brains see it and their bodies don’t care that you’re their assistant. they just want. they want to touch, to taste, to fuck, to claim.
that’s why they all go stupid the second they get a taste. one blowjob and suddenly they’re obsessed, wanting, touching more, eyes lingering on your body, thinking about how fast they can get you naked, how would your tits look bouncing.
it’s not even their fault. it’s just biology.
they’re all just boys at the end of the day.
twenty something guys with insane schedules, zero real privacy, and dicks that don’t understand the concept of boundaries. once they know you’re the kind of girl who gets on her knees and swallows without making it weird, their brains go crazy.
plus let’s count it in that these boys are not the smartest. to be pretty fucking real.
but anyways, these are idols. professionals. but strip away the image and they’re just horny animals who saw one of their own get his dick sucked and now their monkey brains are screaming me next me next.
attraction isn’t logical. it’s tits and ass and the way your lips look when they’re swollen from sucking cock. it’s the smell of a turned on woman and the memory of a warm throat.
so, point is, that’s why they’re acting like this. evolution doesn’t care about contracts or image. it just wants them to fuck.
so. you keep rushing when they call your name, fixing slash holding things, handing out this and that, remembering.
but underneath it all you’re a walking mess.
men affect you hard. especially when they’re his attractive.
your neck is still marked up, your pussy stays in a permanent state of dear god i need them but i’ll let them chase, and every single time one of them looks at you for too long your brain helpfully replays the feeling of chan’s thick cock grinding against you while his finger spread your ass open.
he’s the worst. (for now)
the sexual tension with him is unbearable now. every interaction feels like foreplay that never quite tips over.
nobody has ever got him feeling like this before. it’s crazy for him too, trust.
every time your eyes meet across the room there’s this acknowledgment.
we almost fucked. we’re going to fuck. it’s only a matter of when.
the tension is so bad that during one long break he actually had to excuse himself to the bathroom for five minutes because he couldn’t stop staring at you.
the others are still manageable. sure, you’ll deal with it, you’re below them anyways. plus they’re cute. you don’t really mind the attention.
especially the amount you’ve been getting from jeongin.
you’ve started feeling his eyes on you more than anyone else’s.
he watches you when you’re not looking, when you’re bent over getting something from somewhere, when you’re handing someone water, when you’re laughing at something minho said. he’s more intense.
practices are hell. to you. sweat, movement, bodies everywhere. every time someone peels off a shirt you have to look away. you’re not unaffected.
plus sometimes you can’t help but think of chan shirtless under you.
hyunjin catches you looking once and smiles with an eyebrow raise. bitch keep it in your pants.
you keep doing your job. barely.
it’s hard.
just as hard as it’s for jeongin to man himself up and try to talk to you. to shoot his shot, not just business talk.
only if you knew he heard the whole face fucking chan performed on you.
part two is here!
author’s note: holy shit what a basic trope. (saying this but i don’t recall seeing one fic w it. i just know, i can tell. tf. wait no there was a smau i think. i don’t read since i started writing so pleaseeeeee don’t take this as me copying anyone, i purely used this scenario to go to sleep these days(wrote this as i’m at the start of the fic, and writing now, it’s not the one i use anymore) and wanted to put it down somewhere. or i mean shii tell me if someone copyrighted it but i didn’t take the idea from anyone. just wanted to make sure y’all know this!!) this is not an accusation of how the boys act in real life!! purely a fictional characterization to my liking and the people’s who enjoy it. also this is not a high effort fic so shame on me for not making research on what an assistant would do, i’m just here for the dick.
would you ever write a serial killer minsung fic or any other members like that??
well are we thinking minsung x reader or just simple minsung no reader, and the other ships? the fuck am i asking for actually, yeah i’m down to do all but they wouldn’t come in the very soon future, i have lots of fic ideas piled up already that i rlly want to start writing(and hopefully finish ofc).
but point is that yeah, just shoot a req into my inbox. i’m okay w any ship too(i think, i don’t think much about ships usually so idk what i like and what i don’t like).
