Why Hermione Jean Granger is the true hero of the Harry Potter series
During my sophomore year of college, my public speaking professor assigned us “fun” debate topics. One such topic was whether and why Hermione was the real hero of Harry Potter. (SN: the idiots in my group chose whether Lady Gaga is this generation’s Madonna as our topic but that’s neither here nor there). I’m bored and drinking glass of wine #2 on this glorious but cold Saturday afternoon, so I’ve decided to go though each book for anecdotal evidence proving once and for all why Hermione is the real hero of the Harry Potter series.
SN #2: I’m doing this based on what I can remember from the books and movies. I haven’t read the books in forever but the movies are on now. (Shoutout to Freeform for their constant Harry Potter Weekends)
During the first Quidditch match against Slytherin, Hermione noticed that Snape appears to be jinxing Harry’s broom (she didn’t notice that it was actually Quirrell but still saves Harry anyways) . She sneaked up behind Snape and set his cloak on fire, breaking his eye contact and at the same time knocked over Quirrell, breaking his eye contact and allowing Harry to get back on his broom.
Paid attention in Herbology and saved Harry and Ron from the Devil’s Snare en route to the Sorcerer’s Stone.
THE FUCKING POTION RIDDLE. HERMIONE AND HARRY WOULD HAVE BEEN TRAPPED IN THAT ROOM FOREVER IF SHE WEREN’T AN ABSOLUTE GENIUS. To this day I’m still not sure why this scene was cut from the movie.
Came up with the idea of using Polyjuice Potion to trick Malfoy into telling them about the Chamber of Secrets. Stole a shit ton of ingredients from Snape’s private stores, risking detention, disembowelment or death if she was caught. Successfully brewed Polyjuice Potion.
Movie only: destroyed Dobby’s rogue bludger while everyone else at the match watched.
Figured what what creature lived in the Chamber of Secrets, how to protect against it and how to destroy it. Harry and Ron may have been the ones to actually go in the Chamber, but they wouldn’t have figured it out if not for Hermione. So she once again saves the day even though she was petrified.
Two words: TIME. TURNER. Without Hermione’s Time-Turner, Buckbeak is dead, Sirius has his soul sucked out, Harry never figures out that he can do the Patronus Charm, and the book/movie are about half as long.
Figured out that Lupin was a werewolf.
Also punched Malfoy which, although not life-saving, still brings me so much joy.
Founded S.P.E.W and became a champion for house-elf rights. Again, not heroic but noble. As a lawyer and a social engineer, I’m part of a community that fights for the underdog and downtrodden so I particularly identify with her desire to protect those
Figured out that Rita Skeeter was an unregistered Animagi and used that to blackmail her into not writing about Harry et al. (Hey, I’m a lawyer. I may root for the underdog but I always appreciate a good blackmail plot).
(If I’m not mistaken), came up with the idea for Dumbledore’s Army and found a place for them to meet. Also implemented security measures to prevent any DA member from tattling to Umbridge. Jinxed the fuck out of Marietta Edgecombe.
Stopped Umbridge from torturing Harry by lying about where DA’s secret weapon was. Lured Umbridge out to the Forbidden Forest where she was kidnapped by centaurs, allowing Harry and the gang to get to the Ministry. (She also told Harry that it was a trap but he wanted to go anyways).
Seriously can’t remember anything epic that Hermione did this year. All the jealously and the raging hormones got in the way.
Made the awesome sacrifice to Obliviate her parents’ memories so that they would be safe in Australia while she was fighting Voldemort.
Had the foresight to pack Harry’s and Ron’s clothes in case they needed to escape quickly.... which they did.
Realized that because the Sword of Gryffindor is impregnated with basilisk venom, it can destroy Horcruxes.
Saved herself and Harry from Nagini/Voldemort at Bathilda Bagshot’s house. Broke Harry’s wand in the process but life > wand. Just saying.
Got herself, Ron and Harry out of Xenophilius Lovegood’s house without blowing Ron’s cover that he was at home sick and while proving that Lovegood wasn’t lying about Harry being there.
Had the presence of mind to conceal Harry’s identity as they were being captured by Snatchers. Bought Harry and Ron time to formulate some kind of plan while she was being tortured by Bellatrix fucking Lestrange (and by plan, I mean prayer to a broken mirror that resulted in Dobby coming to save the day).
Damn near blew her cover as Bellatrix by acting like a “dewy eyed schoolgirl” (shoutout to Griphook for that shade) but came up with the idea of using the dragon to escape from Gringotts with the Horcrux.
I’m sure I missed something but I can’t remember anything else. But the fact that I remember this much makes me think that I’ve watched and read WAAAAYYY too much Harry Potter over the years. Is that even possible?
