Aspen The Tree

A twisted wonderland fan fic writer!

[apsenthetree]

INTROOOO

Hi! I’m Aspen :)

I like writing

I like obey me

I like twisted wonderland

I like doodling

And most importantly? I like posting for people to enjoy!

Pronouns are they/she/it and more :)

[housedyke]

The thing about ladybugs is they can't technically bite. But the beetle that looks exactly like them does bite.

So you will grow up being told at every turn that you are wrong and ladybugs don't bite, except when no one is looking something indistinguishable from a lady bug is, in fact, biting you

[apsenthetree]

Huh

[hopeluna-archived]

Obey Me! Characters reacting to them walking on you changing

Obey Me! Side characters x GN!reader

Genre: crack?

Warnings: suggestive, strong language cause its me, my broken humour, i've had like 7 cups of coffee

The brothers

M.list

Diavolo

Alright lets see how you got in this scenario, shall we?

You were staying in the Demon Lord's castle for the night for a sleepover cause Dia insisted and come on who can say no to him?

You two planned to watch movies all night

Barbatos didn't like it at all

But you see Diavolo is a very busy person, so just before your sleepover began he had it take care of some paperwork.

So while he is working in his office for a little while, you decided to change in his room

What could go wrong? He wasn't gonna be back for a while right?

Hahaha wrong

So you're there, changing

Thinking that Diavolo is working

But noooo

In bursts this bright ray of sunshine aka Diavolo

And you're just frozen there in shock, half naked

Diavolo doesn't even realize your state at first, he's just rambling on how fun this sleepover will be

Once he does, oh hohoho

Why did I turn into Santa Claus?

He's flustered, flabbargasted, shocked, whips the other way so fast-

Waits for you to change while he apologises for barging in, feeling his face flush

After you're done changing, give him a second please

After a moment, he totally teases you about it

Like he wasn't the one who was dying from blushing

Barbatos

Now you see, usually Barbatos would know if you were changing cause of the you know, time thingy

And even if he didn't, he knocks. Always

Unfortunately today was a particularly busy day for him, running around assisting Diavolo and he had more paperwork to look at than usual

So now he just wants to go to his room and get some rest

Now what he doesn't know is that you were there in his room, in hopes of surprising him

You know? Make him some tea to de-stress and maybe other ways to relax him

But here is the thing, you come here so often that half of your clothes are in Barbatos' room

So you thought, i'm gonna be here for a while why not get comfortable?

So you decide to change into something more comfortable

I would say bad timing

'Cause the moment you take off your clothes, behold the butler opens the door

You're blushing

He's blushing

Its probably the hot weather haha

Barbatos immediately turns around, apoligising even though he didn't know you were even here

And you're changing, apoligising for not telling him you were going to be here

Barbatos doesn't really make a big deal out of it but he will occasionally blush thinking back to it

Always checks before he opens doors now

Simeon

Well this is gonna be interesting

So lets first set up how this happened

So you were at purgatory hall, making potions with our local 1000+ year old harry potter, when he "accidentally" slipped and dropped shit on your clothes

After wacking Solomon in the head, you headed for Simeon's room

You had some of your clothes in Simeon's room from when you stayed over so there you were changing in his room as he was out running some errands

So as he came back, walked in his room, saw you in your underwear, he turned off

His soul left his body, mf started praying i swear

As soon as he comes to his senses, immediately turns around, stuttering out an apology

Now you're scrambling to put on some clothes, saying that is wasn't his fault, he didn't know you were here

Once you're done changing, he turns around not knowing what to say in his flustered state

So you two are just standing there like 🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️

It takes Solomon to call you to break the awkward silence between you

Its fair to say Simeon wasn't the same for a few weeks

But he finally came over his flustered state, and now he just chuckles thinking back to it with a light coat of blush

Solomon

Ah yes our favourite shady magic grandpa

Alright lets get to it

You're at purgatory hall, staying the night there so you're changing into something comfy cause Luke decided that you all would watch some movies before bed and how could you say no to him?

Solomon....knew

I just know that he knew you were changing but decided to walk in the room anyway cause he knew you would get flustered

He is a little shit, but he's your little shit

So you're changing, you know? Minding your own shit

And in bursts this motherfucker

And you screech, cause it scared the crap out of you

Now you're screaming at Solomon to get out while you're trying to cover yourself up

He's on the floor wheezing

Simeon and Luke come running to see if you're alright

Now you're screaming more cause Luke is gonna see you half naked

This causes Solomon to wheeze more

For a second, you were scared gramps was having a heart attack

Simeon being the life saver he is, understands the situation and quickly coaxes Luke away from the chaos while shielding his eyes

Solomon had to make it up to you when you weren't talking with him for that stunt

───────────

Tags: @jaidenisasimp

Comments and reblogs are appreciated!! Do not repost or claim as yours though, its not cool.

[apsenthetree]

My Little Epel, part 3.

F!mc x Epel

F!Mc x Epel F!mc swiftly stepped into her history class, praying not to be seen, as she was 2 minutes late. But to her shock, Trein was no w

Part one

F!mc x Epel F!Mc x Epel F!mc swiftly stepped into her history class, praying not to be seen, as she was 2 minutes late. But to her shock, Tr

Part two

“Blaming it on F!Mc? Really now Epel? That’s just wrong!” Vil lectured as he brushed Epel’s purple hair down flat. “I mean, I get not wanting to take the fall for the mess you’ve made of your hair. But blaming the girl you have a crush on?” Vil sighed loudly as Epel squirmed.

“VIL! Would you stop saying I have a crush on her? I’m don’t care if it’s true, doesn’t mean you have to say it!” Epel blushed as Vil chuckled at his words. “And don’t laugh at me!” Epel pouted and crossed his arms. Epel couldn’t get the kiss out of his head though. It was such an overwhelming yet sweet feeling.

“Well, I’m done with your hair, Epel.” Vil sighed out as he placed the hairbrush down. “…Listen Epel.” Vil said in a more caring and motherly tone. “I think F!Mc is the right one for you. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise ok? She is. If you love her, go for her. Ok?” Uncharacteristically, Vil pulled Epel into a hug. Epel was astonished at the out of character action from Vil. And yet, Epel couldn’t help but hug back. Vil let a quiet sight slip from his lips. “Now then, run along. Don’t you have anything better to do than talk to me?” Vil Said as he pulled away from the hug slowly. Vil smiled as Epel gave him a tight squeeze before he ran away.

Epel sat on his bed with his phone in his hand. That’s when his phone buzzed. It was a text from Deuce. Opening the message, Epel saw that it read the following “Is it true that you kissed F!mc? She won’t shut up about it! Epel, you sly dog, is it true?!” Epel laughed. He thought about it for a while. He didn’t know what to tell Deuce. Deuce was his best friend. He should tell him. But…He was so unsure. He was unsure on what to say. “Epel, I can see that you read my text! Reply!” Deuce texted Epel again. Epel felt his purple eyes zip back to his phone. Right. He had to reply.

“Yeah, it’s true. Why? You want her or something?” Epel lightheartedly replied. He felt safe with Deuce. He just had to hope that Deuce wouldn’t tell Ace. Epel put his phone down while waiting for Deuce to reply. He knew the time. It was 6:00 . Epel knew what that meant. Dinner. And then homework. He lived by a strict schedule thanks to Vil. But, nevertheless, Epel began to make sure he looked his best for dinner so Vil wouldn’t lecture him again.

Epel was just about ready to head down, but then he found he had a text, not from Deuce, but F!mc. Epel smiled as he read it.

“Good evening Sir Epel. Might I invite you to run errands with my during the day of sun?” That was the text. Epel laughed.

“Thank you for your invite, Lady F!mc. I would be very pleased to join you on the day of sun.” Epel replied. “But not as your friend.” He continued. “F!mc. Could I go..as your boyfriend?” Epel blushed as he hit send.

F!mc took a while to reply. It’s because what she wrote was so long “Hooo..my god. Epel? Epel, are you kidding? Epel holy sh..oh my..yes! Yes you can be my boyfriend! Epel I love you omg please. Epel I’m serious I legit love you and would love yo have you as my boyfriend. Thank you. For everything. I love you.” Epel felt his purple eyes water as he read it. Before he had any chance to reply, he heard rook calling to him.

“Epel? I assume you’re skipping dinner if you aren’t out in 3 minutes.” Epel sighed and put down his phone.

“I’m coming, Rook!” And with that, Epel left his room. Not seeing one last text from F!mc.

“My little Epel, I love you!”

A/N: sorry this took so long to write! I hope you guys like it! Thank you for all the support.

[spider-hands-mannos-deactivated]

Heres the thing you gotta understand about statistics. 

“Increases your chances by 80%” does not mean “there is now an 80% chance”. 

If your chances were previously 10%, your chances are now 18%, not 90%. 

if your chances were roughly 1%, they’re now just slightly less than 2%. 

thats how that works. 

[hopeful-weirdo]

Wow I don’t understand math at all

[freinhardt56]

‘if you have a baby after 35, the chance of deformities goes up by 100%’ is a line I hear alot.

It goes up from .5% to 1%

[fandomlockedfan]

I think my brain just stopped working

[authorgirl1111]

100% is just another way of saying twice more likely. So 100% more basically means multiply the number you do have by 2.

[that-catholic-shinobi]

Imagine how many woman are scared to have kids because of that statistic

[what-even-is-thiss]

This is why I took stats instead of calc. Because I don’t build engineer bridges in my everyday life but I sure do read studies that affect how I might live my life if I misinterpret them.

[bogleech]

I’m terrible at numbers and math but I knew this and I really take it for granted. The average person definitely assumes, quite understandably, that “600% INCREASE!!!” must always mean a whole lot even if it literally only means that one of something is now six of something. Politicians probably take a shitload of advantage of this confusion.

[hexmaniacmareen]

just remember that increased BY and increased TO are very different things.

[bogleech]

Oh god I didn’t even think about that whole other layer of confusion. Yeah if you’ve got 100 people and one of them is sick, that’s 1% of them who are sick, so if it “increased BY 100%” then that means now two people are sick. If it’s “increased TO 100%” then all 100 people are sick.

[apsenthetree]

I think you guys are a bit to obsessed with meth

[cinturongazo]

i wish cleaning the dishes was more fun. specially the bottles

[snowywarmthkuya]

[apsenthetree]

Holy shit I need one

[apsenthetree]

Hi guys. This post isn’t my normal goofy type post. I’ve been doing research and I’m thinking about getting screened for BPD, or bipolar disorder. It’s a long story, but I may be less active. That’s all, thanks!

[gfmammon]

was on the phone with someone i very much like and we were discussing something that makes me paranoid, so afterward i was like “haha i can’t get it out of my head now” and they were like “oh no! happy thoughts only! think of obey me mammon” and that shit stopped me in my tracks. damn. you had to call me out like that?!?! over the PHONE? i mean it worked because i was in absolute shock that they brought up obey me being one of my happy places. they know me too well. i’ve joked that i almost like them as much as i like mammon and it’s so funny to me that they just run with it

i am going to marry them.

[apsenthetree]

…Same hon, same.

[noirezki]

Twisted wonderland Incorrect Quotes

The salt

Azul: Can you pass me the salt?

*Jade and Floyd reaches out to Mc*

Azul: The salt. Not that salt.

Mc: What salt?

Azul: *Sighs* the ocean coccaine

Mc, Jade and Floyd: Ohhh~ that salt

[aerith-jade]

Riddle, Leona, Azul, Jamil, Vil & Idia: We don't need therapy. We have you.

Yuu: I'm just as f*cked up as you guys. It's like the blind leading the blind.

[twst-shenanigans]

twst Incorrect quote #252

*In a haunted house*

Kalim: “Hey Riddle… I’m scared. I wish Jamil was here…”

Riddle: “It’s ok. Just… hold me hand until we get out.”

Kalim: “Thanks.”

Riddle: “Hey, don’t grab it too hard.”

Kalim: “I’m not holding it yet.”

Riddle: …..

Kalim: …..

Riddle and Kalim: *unholy screaming*

[strawberryamanita]

Reblog this post to slow-blink at the person you reblog this from, indicating that you trust and feel unthreatened around them

[weedplantar]

Personality test, is 80f/26c too hot for you?

[apsenthetree]

Yes. 60f is peak weather and anything hotter is hell.

[tezret]

Telephone But Yelling

You/Reader: i love you!

Leona, from across the absurdly long dinner table: What?!

You/Reader: I LOVE YOU!

Leona, planting his hands on the table as he pushes his chair back and stands up: WHAT DID YOU SAY?

You/Reader, using a megaphone: I LOVE YOU LEONA!!

Leona: HUH?!

Leona’s relatives, watching you two go back and forth for the rest of dinner:

[apsenthetree]

Leona and Olin

[twistedmischieftales]

Idia and Y/n: *standing up against the wall together, holding hands*

Idia: *casually taking a sip of his drink*

Y/n: *looking at their phone to pass the time*

Ace: *walks by but stops when he notices they are holding hands*

Ace: Wow...About time you two started dating!

Y/n: *looks up from their phone in confusion*

Y/n: Wait what?

Idia: *spits out his drink in shock*

Idia: WE'RE DATING!?!

[mebssann]

Flapjack on flapjack violence

[crienosaur]

Reader holds a bag of gummies, enjoying the squishies.

Floyd wants some.

“Are those gummy worms?”

“No.”

“… No?”

“They… are gummy eels.”

Reader has a menacing glare.

Floyd and Jade laugh… but they’re slightly scared. Just a little bit.