sᴇᴀʀᴄʜ

two could keep a secret if one of them yeets

[apxgossip]

OKAY, FIVES!! This queen has other things to do. You guys leave us something to sink our teeth in when we get back. B Y E.

[apxgossip]

Queen X! So good to have you back! Any thoughts on the insanity of the past few weeks? Highlights? Lowlights?

Let me tell you, that was a RIIIIIDE. From people getting a little bit SINFUL to a huge remake of the revenge of the clones. On top of my head we have one of our local dummies ARLO going a bit edward scissorhands on his alternate version. I wonder how the latest MURDERS will impact on him, or are we forgetting that he assisted on his BOO’S aka CALLUM’S accidental kill? Let remember yes girl ( which I DOUBT she said yes to ) MAYA  was dead for months and people barely noticed??  Way to go, guys. WHICH SPEAKING OF… JAIME?? has someone actually noticed he’s been GONE?? Next on the murder list: LOVED fairy man beating his son’s boyfriend to death and then all parties involed going MUTE. Next to a less murdery note: has anyone been trying to avoid the plague lately?? I’m looking at you LIZZIE, HOPE, LANDON, and WILL. Raise of hands. 

Are those hightlights?? Lowlights?? I’ll leave that up to you guys, but I am having a BLAST.

@pcthstrayed ; @hclflcght ; @swtsvrndr ; @byacatalepsy ; @trvshdad ; @vurasisms ; @ofsilverwings ; @geminislegacy ; @chosenlonely ; @frcmashes ; @ofindcmitability

[apxgossip]

whos the biggest mess in sf?

EVERYONE. They’re raging dumpsters on fire. The one who burns the most?? That spot goes to the one and only DAMON SALVATORE. D-U-D-E. You got the girl and your happily ever after. WHAT ARE YOU DOING??? 

@wrckhvck

[apxgossip]

Thoughts on the Gods right now?

My thoughts?? Oh my gods… They’re fucking DEAD. 

[apxgossip]

HELLO, HELLO. Missed me?? Yes, you did. So why don’t you show how much you did by sending me some questions?? I THRIVE on it. 

[apxgossip]

Alright, alright, I’ma stop FLOODING THE AIRWAVES for now, but that does not mean I’m out of gossip. I’ll be back super-duper soon to talk about my favorite troublemakers, and to probably chat more S*H*I*T about William Flynn. Why don’t you pop me a message to answer when I’m back? They say flattery gets you nowhere, but it definitely gets you bumped up to top of my answering list. ;)  Bye for now, demons.

[apxgossip]

most bamf peeps in town?

O K ,   so hear me out.  The way I see it, the ladies are currently putting the guys to SHAME. Honorable mentions as of late include Lizzie and Josie Saltzman, Harlow Valentine, Alt-Elena Gilbert, Alt-Parker Halliwell, and Rebekah Mikaelson. However, not to worry, your friendly neighbourhood King Z is all about equal opportunity in this house, so let me give you a couple kings I’ve been peeping lately too. Alt-William Flynn, Levi Stone, and Alt-Stefan Salvatore, all seem very promising in terms of keeping things INTERESTING around here.  I am SO VERY EXCITED to see each and every one of these BAMFs provide us with some drama in their own wonderful little ways.

@geminislegacy @enflamedxtouch @deathlyharlows @gilbertgrief @ravensflutter @vampircbarbic @ofindcmitability @ofvindictc @cfxadeptheart

[apxgossip]

It's good to have you back King Z! Tell us, what's your fave little bit of drama going on right now?

UGH, boo, you know  j u s t  how to make my heart flutter.  You can stay ;)  As for my favourite piece of drama… Hmm, it’s a toughie. Aside from the Salvatore/Elena sandwich making a triumphant return after… How long has it been? Fifteen? Twenty years? Good tea never gets old.

But, as we all know, tea is best served PIPING HOT. And that means, only the freshest of events are getting a shout out tonight; this chaos is causing lots and lots of delicious gossip for us to sample.  From Vuras yeeting Alt-Aster across the whole street, to poor Henrik being entirely rejected by Alt-Grayson, to Alt-Damon and Alt-Stefan having a truly beautiful interaction outside of Whole Foods… We really are being TREATED, loves!

However, if you really want me to pick a FAVOURITE… my very juiciest scandal right now is… Alt-Aster swooping in to score a free coffee, and Alt-Ryan putting his foot down, drawing a line in the sand, and declaring, once and for all, that that muffin is his.

@vurasisms @ofsilverwings @ofisolaticn @graysiphon @wrckhvck @cfxadeptheart @boundedbydcrkness

[apxgossip]

What do you think of the Damon, Elena, Stefan drama?

Oh, honey. I’m LIVING for it.  It’s stuff like this that really gets my blood pumping like nothing else. Drama, heartbreak, miscommunication to the nth degree! Me oh my, what a party. As much as I think Stefan should probably go into hiding for a week or so, to protect that pretty face of his, I’m so excited for the fireworks. HONESTLY, how many times does Damon need to be screwed over by the doppel-bitches before he learns his lesson? God bless him. Maybe one day. As for Elena… well, she’s either been stress-eating, or she has a little more to lose than just her husband. Maybe she should be careful, stuck between a drunk and a  ripper.  And hey, who knows? Maybe they can look into exterminating those pesky doppelgängers once and for all.  You know…  once everyone has kissed and made up.

@cfxadeptheart @wrckhvck @gilbertgrief

[apxgossip]

top residents who need protection?

Given whatever mind-boggling nonsense is currently happening all over town, my instinct is to say EVERYONE. But my spidey-senses tell me that that’s not the answer you’re lookin’ for, dear Nonnie. 

Given that we just finally got Bonnie Bennett into town, I think we should protect her at all costs. I imagine there are quite a few people happy to see her around these parts; myself included. 

Also, not to keep chatting s h i t about Will but… are we sure that poor kid knows what he’s doing? Like, ever? Is his muffin buttered? Do I need to assign someone to butter his muffin?

I also spotted Luke Parker recently; great to see him alive and kicking again!  But since he got that whole murderous sociopath makeover, maybe we should be looking out for him too.

@floatingfeathcrs @ofindcmitability @ofresurrects

[apxgossip]

tell me who are your favorite brotps?

WILL AND LANDON.   Right off the bat. Maybe it’s the #nohomo energy those boys are giving off, maybe it’s the perpetual matching lost boys expressions. Either way, those boys are truly a bromance.  They really do warm my cold, cold heart. 

And I cannot talk about brotps without mentioning the OG brotp: Damon and Enzo.   Damon seems like he’s really goin’ thru it right now, so maybe he could benefit from having his pal around more.   (Enzo, honey, San Francisco is not that big. Where do you even go?)   

While we’re on the SUBJECT of less-than-stellar friendships, can we take a moment to discuss the…  s o m e t h i n g  brewing between Lizzie and Uncle Kai? I don’t know what it is, exactly, but if I know Kai, it’s bound to be JUICY!

But I have to say: my personal favourite is the strong, heartwarming, UNBREAKABLE BOND between my girl Harlow and the concept of murder. Did anyone see her talking to that brand new guy in town? Has anyone seen him since? I will go down with this ship, fight me about it. xo

@ofindcmitability @frcmashes @wrckhvck @lcrenzo @geminislegacy @prisonwrld @deathlyharlows

[apxgossip]

Hey there demons, it’s me; ya boy. Did you miss me?   “King Z,” I hear you ask, “Where have you been?” Who knows. Maybe I slipped into another dimension for a little bit. That seems to be the Happening thing to do these days, huh?  Come spice up my life with a message or two! I’m absolutely parched.

[apxgossip]

i may be done with the questions y’all sent me this morning, but that doesn’t mean i don’t want more!

don’t be shy. come spread rumors, talk shit, whatever the hell you want. 

[apxgossip]

break up or get married: apx couples edition

i’m not familiar with the game, ‘non. if you’re thinking what i’m thinking though… the married couples have practically fallen off my radar. are they dead or something? joke intended.

stefan and caroline have some potential with stefan being back ‘n all. they’re really serving me angsty reunion at the moment. 

 one dynamic that’s sorta exciting me though is dan- i’m sorry, levi and dalia. why? because when she finds out about henrik, she is most likely going to end. him. popcorn anyone?

@daliawarrcn , @ofvindictc , @ofisolaticn , @cfxadeptheart , @heartofcare

[apxgossip]

whos the messiest bitch in san fran?

i mean, all of y’all are pretty messy. just sayin’. some people i can always rely on are katherine, harlow, lilith and victoria to get down and dirty should it be necessary. love you ladies!

@addictingvictories , @katrcva , @xreginax , @deathlyharlows

[apxgossip]

salvatore students vs magic school students. who wins?

hmmm.. that’s a good question, ‘non. someone should make this happen though so they can rip each other apart. pew pew.

[apxgossip]

rumor has it people are dying left and right and coming back as vampires. thoughts on the recent SWARM of baby vampires?

i mean, some of them can totally bite me if you catch my drift. like, we get it.. y’all are pretty. now you’re telling me they can be hot and broody forever? count me in. 

i’m totally excited to see what this newfound immortality does to those of you experiencing it, mainly because many of you won’t be able to handle it. i smell chaosssss!