reblogs and unreblogs

[tswwwit]

What animal (besides a cat or a dog) is Bill?

Like - if he were animal, which one? Would he be mythical or a real animal?

(tbh he kinda gives me Pelican vibes and I do not have a single clue as to why.)

That's a good question! The pelican thing makes sense if you consider how often they're ambitious, in say, checking to see if they can swallow a capybara whole, or that one pic where one's in the back of a police car.

I'm not actually sure what animal Bill would be, but probably a predator of some kind? Something old? Something weird?

Technically one thing that fits all those categories is Anomolocaris, which Bill would probably appreciate. I do however think a Mythical option is also Prime for Billing.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

Assert dominance over ghosts by jumping out at yourself from dark corners

[pwapboi-deactivated20200412]

Why wait for a poltergeist to cause a ruckus? Slam your own doors. Rattle your own windows. Smash your own favourite plate against the wall. Haunt your own house. You don’t need no weakass spirit. The only supernatural force you need in your life is yourself.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

this is so inspiring i’m crying thank you

[phia-myth]

The poltergeist:

[dragonflea]

Poltergeist: smashes plate on floor

Me: *swipes entire stack of plate off the shelf like a cat*

Poltergeist: okay mate alright take it easy jeez

[aquaalta-side]

@tswwwit

[aquaalta-side]

moodboard for @tswwwit 's familiar AU

[aquaalta-side]

since you guys liked it, here, have a small bonus

[aquaalta-side]

@thewordyhibiscus which one are you talking about exactly? "there are centuries of seasons.." one? that's from the song "the messenger" by brown bird

or if you're talking about the text on the leathery background from the first batch, it's from a series of weird texts like thst but at this point I can't remember by whom or where to find them

[tswwwit]

To the anon who sent in the ask containing: "I love your Familiar Au - but I’m also a huge fan of Spirits as well, and I have a question: so like, since Dipper can touch Bill and be touched by Bill, is it possible for Dipper to [redacted] since he has some sort of weird powers?"

The answer is Yes, definitely, absolutely, and I'd publish the whole ask except it's spoilers for something I've had planned for years. Congrats on calling it! You're the first person that I've ever seen guess that particular development.

[aquaalta-side]

this is either kill, revive or fuck and either way i am Looking

[aquaalta-side]

moodboard for @tswwwit 's familiar AU

[aquaalta-side]

since you guys liked it, here, have a small bonus

[aquaalta-side]

moodboard for @tswwwit 's familiar AU

[tswwwit]

Tswwwit/BurnerAccount’s Fic Masterlist

I never, ever tag consistently, so finding anything I’ve written on my blog is a pain. So to correct that, here’s a big ol’ list of all (most) of the fic I’ve written. Subject to updates as I update-slash-remember what the hell I’ve posted. Here goes.

Familiar AU Faking It (complete) Hating It (companion fic for Faking It, Bill POV, complete) Confessing It (in progress)

Snippets for Familiar AU: Dipper’s bad at fire Stan POV 1 Stan POV 2 Ford POV Fordus Interruptus Encounter with an Incubus Wrestling In the Closet Interlewd #1 Interlewd #2 Interlewd #3 Interlewd #4 Interlewd #5 AU where the familiar spell did work as intended

Bill being Vengeful Cold Weather Sucks Sick Dipper

Amnesia AU Masterpost

Reincarnation AU: 1 2 3 3.5 4

Raised Spirits (aka Poltergeist AU)

Raised Spirits

Octobill

Octobill If Octobill had taken a non-serious biologically accurate route Octobill Haircut Short

Miscellaneous Oneshots I Didn’t Put On AO3

Amnesiac Dipper Bill Scaring Dipper Mabel and Bill Playing Chess Bill and Dip Can’t Touch Siren AU Teaching Magic First Kiss Bill On Smile Dip Triangle Bill Cuddling Dip Jealous Bill Bill as a Dentist Reverse Falls - Bill giving Will Relationship Advice Will and Dip #1 Will and Dip #2 Will and Dip #3 Geometry Pickup Lines Awkward First Meetings Scum Villain’s Self Saving System Scum Villain’s Accidental Romance System (Self Indulgent)

Original Fiction

Max/Zeph (Adventurer Guy/Nerd Naga)

This Male Has Overslept (smut) The Adventure This Snake Never Asked For (meet the family, with extra distressful complications) Give A Man A Snake And They’ll Both Be Very Confused (Prologue) Will, watching Zeph and his brother interact Max, fantasizing The morning after spring, from Zeph’s POV Modern!AU Senseless smut (DP warning)

Devilrett, which is The Devil (unspecified world or religion) with Everett (Some office nerd) Part 1 Part 2

And here’s my AO3 profile for reference, which has other stuff Not Currently Updating

BurnerAccount

Thanks to everyone for reading, and following, and generally tolerating my ridiculous fic bullshit.

[tswwwit]

It’s been absolutely forever since I updated this, and I’m probably missing a few random posts but. Hey! A semi-recent masterlist of my dumb ridiculous fic.

Thank you all for reading.

[tswwwit]

Another late Billdip week entry! This time, Siren!AU. 

I ended up writing more than I intended for this one! Fic under the readmore. Mobile readers might wanna get scrolling.

———————————

Dipper tries to shake another few drops out of his canteen, tongue sticking out of his mouth, but it’s bone dry. He smacks the bottom, then gives it up for lost and straps it back on his belt. 

He should never have wandered off. This forest is way too dense, the air is too humid - he’s soaked with sweat and he’s out of water.  And completely lost.

Hours ago, off in the distance, he thought he’d heard something. A brief snatch of music, or a voice, and before he’d known it he was off the beaten trail, alone in this damp, tangled jungle. It was stupid, he should never have - Hell, he really doesn’t want to die out here.

Not too far away, he can hear the dull roar of the ocean. 

Keep reading

[tswwwit]

So in the Familiar Au, will Dipper ever introduce Bill to his parents?

They probably find out eventually!

And isn’t it rather suspicious that after spending so much time with their conman great-uncle Stan, known grifter and huckster, that the next time they see the twins? Their Significant Others are the richest gal in Gravity Falls and some weird, creepy guy who has way more money than manners. Dipper’s already married his guy, who’s clearly a jerk.

Before they find out what a jerk Bill is, (and what Bill is), Stan gets a lot of side-eyeing.

Also I’m probably never going to write Dipper and Mabel’s parents because they have no canon personalities or even names and I’m too lazy to come up with some.

[tswwwit]

Hey I saw this one post on Gideon and this one post on black mail, so what if Gideon was the one who tried to blackmail dipper. I kinda wanna see that if possible.

Oh man, this one took me a while! But I wrote it. Thanks for the prompt!

Keep reading

[tswwwit]

If Dipper and Bill had their honeymoon where would they go?

A friendly desert community where the sun is hot, the moon is beautiful, and mysterious lights pass overhead while we all pretend to sleep

[tswwwit]

I have no idea when the love potion thing happens! But here’s some more of it.

Keep reading

[tswwwit]

HOLY HEck please continue the love potion ask. It's so good! It's so /good/!

Yeah, alright! Here’s part one, for convenience.

Dipper isn’t sweating, he just needs his heart to stop pounding so hard.

He shuts his eyes, and takes a slow breath. He would take another, he needs the reassurance, but Bill’s right here in the room with him. If he thought -

Dipper holds his breath instead, until he can’t anymore.

“So, uh,” He swallows, mouth dry, and stares at his hands. While part of him feels warm, something makes his blood run cold.. “Are they-” His voice cracks, slightly, he plays it off as a cough. “Are they permanent?”

“What? No!” Bill says, almost laughing. “Lasts three hours, tops, and that’s if this is the good stuff. Potions aren’t permanent, kid, and this is one hell of an unstable emotion.” He rolls his eye, snorting with amusement. “Hey! Even when it’s natural it’s hardly reliable! The whole delusion drops easier than -” 

Bill trails off. He raises an eyebrow, frowning. “What’re you doing?”

“Nothing,” Dipper says, and drops his hand from where it was pressed against his chest, and stays slumped on the floor, muscles loose with sheer relief. “I slipped.” He needs an excuse, instead of - he’s on the floor because - “You got water everywhere, asshole.”

“Like hell I did!” Bill says, indignant. “You’re just clumsy.”

Dipper looks up at Bill and his weird, handsome face. His sharp teeth barely show, when he’s not smiling, Sharp, inhuman teeth, that could bite, white and dangerous,  and he always smiles at Dipper, so smugly. Confident. Like he could take any problem in the world and solve it, or burn it to the ground and start again. Bill is, in some slight, very evil way, amazing -

Dipper tenses - 

Which is hateable, because all of Bill is very hateable. He’s a vicious megalomaniac monster.

This is bad.

He stumbles to his feet and tries to make it look natural, while Bill cackles and makes some comment about how terrible Dipper is at everything, including walking. Dipper ignores it.

When he looks over at Bill again - Dipper flips his demon off, and Bill grins at him. 

He doesn’t want to kiss Bill, because Bill’s horrible. He certainly… okay throwing himself into Bill’s arms has some slight appeal, because Bill is pretty strong, he’d catch him easily, hold him up like he weighed almost nothing, and Dipper likes that. Though he’s never, ever going to mention it. 

Also Bill would probably drop him, to be an ass. Or pretend to almost drop him, just to watch Dipper flail. Because he’s an asshole.

Dipper only had like, half a mouthful of the stuff, at the worst. A low dose, it can’t be that bad, and it isn’t forever. He can manage.

Three hours. Three hours of being -

Of having a crush on Bill Cipher.  It’s not too intense. His heart picks up when he looks at the jerk, and he’s still weirdly warm inside, but Dipper thinks he can manage it. He shuts his eyes.

As long as Bill doesn’t find out.

[tswwwit]

Imagine either Dipper or Bill accidentally doused with Love potion in the Familiar AU? Think Dipper will slowly turn psychotically obsessive and possessive if it continues? While Bill likes a crazy Dipper, this is too much for him.

Dipper spits out the juice halfway through his swallow. Half a mouthful goes down before he coughs, holding a fist to his mouth. He wipes at his lips, grimacing at the taste, which can’t be normal. 

Oh, for - 

He turns, and shouts.

“Bill! Did you do something weird to the orange juice?”

“Not recently!” Bill replies, loud, from somewhere across the Shack. “Why’d you ask?”

Dipper licks his lips, and frowns at the cup in his hands. 

It’s weirdly sparkly. Almost iridescent. Mabel better not have put glitter in the juice again. He thought she was over that habit, and it’d be really annoying if she picked that up again.

Dipper tilts the thing in his hand a few times, and coughs again. He feels weirdly warm inside. 

“What’s this?” Bill says, leaning over Dipper’s shoulder. “Got a problem, kid?”

Dipper doesn’t flinch. That’s what Bill wants him to do, by appearing so suddenly, but after the first dozen times, it’s not going to work again. He holds the cup up for Bill to inspect without turning around, feeling Bill rest his chin on his shoulder. “This looks weird.” And because Bill, for all his faults, knows so much, and loves to prove it - It doesn’t hurt to ask. “You know what it is?”

A soft hum vibrates through Dipper’s shoulder as Bill takes a close look. “Hand it over.” Bill snags the cup from Dipper’s hand. 

Dipper rolls his eyes and lets him take it. He hears Bill sniff a,few times.

“Oh, gross,” Bill says suddenly, with deep disgust. Dipper straightens up, slightly surprised, and watches as Bill charges over to the sink, and dumps the whole glass out, lip curled up. “How the hell did this crap get in here?”

Dipper watches him with a rising sense of alarm. Bill’s whole posture is tense, Hell, if Bill doesn’t like it. If it’s - 

Dipper clears his throat. “Is it poison?” He got a swallow down, maybe if he gets it out of his stomach fast enough, he won’t die-

“It might as well be,” Bill grumbles, pulling open the fridge door - he takes the carton of orange juice out, gives it another sniff - the contents join the glassful in the sink, before Bill sets the whole carton aflame, looking disgusted. 

“Love potion,” He says, with a tone that’s better suited to saying ‘slug mucus’, or maybe ‘pus drippings’. “Keep that crap away from your system kid, it’s no good for anyone. Good thing you spotted it.”

Dipper quietly does not have a heart attack, slamming his hands onto the counter. He stays focused on Bill, who’s making gross faces at the ashes building in his hand.

“Ahaha, yeah, good thing I did,” Dipper says brightly. He grips the counter tight. “How does that stuff work?” 

“Ah, it’s just your usual emotional manipulation potion. ‘First person seen’ kinda deal here, if I don’t miss my mark. And I don’t!” Bill says easily, smiling. Pleased to prove his knowledge about all things magical. Calm. Like nothing’s wrong at all and like things aren’t going to be completely horrible in moments, and Dipper isn’t sweating, he just needs his heart to stop pounding so hard. 

[tswwwit]

Octobill Prequel

Hello! Have some ridiculous Octobill shenanigans. AKA: How Dipper and Bill met in the. Aquarium AU? I suppose that’s what I should call it. 

Anyway, here’s some safe-for-work tentacles.

Keep reading

[keenunknownruins-deactivated202]

A little something to tie things together...

A fanfiction of a fanfiction that ties tswwwit’s familiar au and their reincarnation au together… kinda. I dunno, it’s a thing at least.

Bill mentioned Dipper might make it to be a century. Thought I’d start things from there.

—-

“It’ll be okay Bill.” Pine Tree extends his withered hand, the fingers flexing ever so slightly in and out to encourage the demon to grab them.

Bill does so, reluctantly, he might add. He never could get over how touchy his human is.

His aged human gives his fleshy appendage a squeeze, but there’s no strength in the action, hasn’t been for a long time now. “Of course it will be.” The demon grins, ignoring the regular steady beep filling the empty space of the private hospital room. The pulse wavers in its continuous rhythm and Bill’s stupid chest organ stutters as well. “This isn’t the first reincarnation gig I’ve done.”

“So you tell me,” Dipper chuckles the sound turning quickly into a wheeze. “So… how long?”

“How long for what, Pine Tree?”

“Until I reincarnate. Until you find me.” His human gives a weak smile, and tries to tighten his grip around Bill’s currently human hand.

“Depends,” admits Bill. “Not being able to get into that head of yours complicates things, plus you pretty much prohibited me from even approaching your reincarnations until they’re ‘of age'…”

“It was a good idea. You’re a terrible influence.”

“You flatterer.”

Pine Tree starts to say something, but it’s cut off in a sudden wet coughing fit. His body’s failing him now, Bill can feel his own vessel starting to weaken.

Strangely, he’s dreading what’s about to happen. Dreading just how every minutes drags his mortal further from him. It’s going to be alright, he reminds himself, they worked out every detail for how the reincarnation thing is going to work.

For some reason, the thing in his chest isn’t as convinced and instead feels like everything is about to fall apart. It’s the same damned thing that would rather just see his human live another day, than finally getting his long sought freedom from this constructed life-trap. 

His own hand tightens around his human’s. The beep has become slower now, and it won’t be much longer. Dipper’s eyes close, and there’s nothing Bill can do but watch. His damned human is smiling, defiant to the end.

The beeping flatlines to a steady tone, but Bill doesn’t need the machine to tell him Pine Tree isn’t here anymore. Like a bear trap finally springing open he was feel the spell dissolving around him, the Mindscape already desperate to pull him back from reality. He doesn’t resist, Bill knows searching for Dipper’s reincarnation will be easier from the other side anyway.

His body finally crumbles, leaving nothing but the wisps of quickly disintegrating life magic that started it all.

****

For some reason, Pine Tree really likes reincarnating in the same Era, somewhere in the 21st century by the Gregorian calendar - give or take a few decades. It’s a lucky break as it at least narrows down his search to a few billion universes every reincarnation instead of a possible infinite number.

He’ll never forgive himself for missing the last one, coming into Dipper’s life just as it was ending at the youthful age of 23, all because of a freaking hobgoblin of all things. Well, his mortal did go down in a flashy way, he’ll give him that much credit at least.

This time he’s forgone the ‘enjoying time without his mortal ruining all his fun’, and set out immediately searching for the next one.

He’s picking through dreams when a particular one catches his fancy. It starts out typical enough, some kid wants easy ‘infinite demonic power’, yada yada yada… and bam, in walks Pine Tree to stop all the kid’s fun by being the wet blanket he is. Bingo.

Turns out the kid is even in the same class as his mortal, which made it all the easier to figure out where Pine Tree lived, and as a bow to top everything off - he’s turning 18 tomorrow.

Bill decides to visit when Pine Tree is out the next day. His mortal’s place just reeks of life magic, and his fake body is already starting to construct itself. It isn’t fully formed yet, so he still has some ability to draw from the mindscape, giving him a bit of an edge to mess with reality at least until his mortal formally accepts his end of the whole reincarnation thing.

The locks on the door don’t do much to stop Bill - a flick of his finger and they just pop open. What to mess with? He paces the drab apartment, wondering what he should do this time to introduce himself. He’s tried big and that nearly scared his mortal away for a good few months, he’s tried super small and nothing interesting happened. Bill needs something somewhere in the middle. He spies an ad in the half crumpled newspaper tossed onto what he guesses to be the kitchen table - honestly it’s hard to tell with how adorably tiny it is. 'Wanting a fun time?’ it says in bold letters, a suspect phone number sitting just below it, well there’s an idea. He hasn’t tried that particular route, and it might just embarrass the hell out of his mortal.

Bill navigates towards the bedroom, his mortal’s magic a little stronger there. It doesn’t take him long to set up the candles. All he has to do now is wait.

[tswwwit]

ordinarydoodles

I love the idea that the Dipper-and-Cipher combo becomes infamous to the point where people are keeping a count of oh-god-this-is-the-year-that-duo-comes-back-quick-buy-extra-insurance.

ordinarydoodles

“Honey, we think you’re old enough to know, there’s a very very small but not non-zero chance that a demon named Bill Cipher will try to offer you unlimited power when you turn eighteen. Sorry, you’re in the right age group and, well, your father and I wanted to hold off on kids for another year to keep you out of it, but there was that really romantic vacation in Tahiti and, um, well…

ordinarydoodles

Well anyways! We’ll love you no matter what you choose but please don’t agree to anything if he shows up but we’ll always love you no matter what but really please he’s very dangerous but we’ll always love you.”

ordinarydoodles

“Mom…please just…go back to giving me the sex talk. Please.”