midnight whisperings

Ann | she/they | Enjoy the brainrot✨

[misscrazyfangirl321]

Being an adult will have you unironically craving a vegetable

[misscrazyfangirl321]

Being an adult will have you unironically sad about a parasite outbreak in fresh vegetables.

[runawaymarbles]

I love living in 2026 because I go to Home Depot and buy a 5-gallon bucket for $4. I say I do not want an email receipt. They know my email anyway because I once ordered a mop online. They email me to ask how I like my 5-gallon bucket. I do not reply. They email me again. They would like my feedback. Reminder ‼️I have purchases to review. Did my 5 gallon bucket live up to my expectations? 3 minute survey!!

[runawaymarbles]

[theswisscheeserag]

You gotta be really publicly passionate about things if you want your friends to text you. Bc people will forget to text you because they’re human. But if you’re really openly the friend who loves identifying ants your friends will think of you when they see ants. And they’ll text you “what ant is this [blurry photo]”. And then they’ll ask you how you’ve been and we should get coffee sometime. But if they don’t know what you love they’ll never know what you like

[theswisscheeserag]

And then when the ant convention is in town they’ll be like dude… we should go to the ant convention. But they would never think to go if they didn’t know u loved ants

[theswisscheeserag]

And sometimes you need to ask them to go to the ant convention. But you Will not get anywhere hiding your passions

[jame7t]

tanktops are so whorish I love them. My entire armpit is out. If you look at me you’re a slut

[guerrillatech]

[oysters-aint-for-me]

do me a favor and plz reblog with your five most recently used non-face, non-hand, non-heart emojis

[viva-1a-resistance]

DO YOU KNOW WHAT I JUST REALIZED

YOU KNOW THE HAIKU BOT???

OFC YOU DO

YOU KNOW THAT MESSAGE HE PUTS AT THE END OF EVERY POST????

"Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up."

YEAH???????

WELL THATS A HAIKU TOO

Beep boop! I look for

accidental haiku posts.

Sometimes I mess up.

NOW YOU LOOK ME IN THE EYE AND TELL ME THATS NOT THE CUTEST THNIG YOUVE EVER HEARD

[the-haiku-bot]

“Beep boop! I look for

accidental haiku posts.

Sometimes I mess up.”

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[lastvalyrian]

[sodalpiss]

It’s full circle now. He did it, by god he did. What a little champ.

[the-haiku-bot]

It’s full circle now.

He did it, by god he did.

What a little champ.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[sqwork]

[thoodleoo]

taught myself how to do one (1) excel function and now i understand what hubris is. the gods themselves could not stop me

[draconym]

I used to really like the ✨ emoji but now she's best friends with AI and I feel like I can't trust her anymore

[vacuously-true]

NO do NOT let them win. We can save her. We can wrest her association back from AI. She doesn't deserve this and we can't abandon her.

[midnightssea]

it’s amazing how women are able to navigate crowded rooms without ever touching a palm to a man’s lower back

[quendergeer]

you'd think occasionally men would need to touch other men like this to manoeuvre them out of the way but it never happens

[tatters-the-bat]

Are they like..... Yknow.... [Goes to do a hand gesture but forgets I'm a wizard and I accidentally cast Lv50 lightning bolt]

[midwestemogirlfriend]

[segamascott]

got my first ever official customer complaint because when i was going over the terms of their life insurance they were like "well i don't plan to die" and i was like "well you're going to"

[b0nkcreat]

eyes emoji was the perfect invention for nosy people. like 👀 whats going on over here 👀👀 i just wanna know #LetMeKnow 👀👀👀

[vexwerewolf]

Organised crime? Nah girl I'm into disorganised crime. If a goon doesn't have ADHD they aren't getting hired

[vexwerewolf]

Cops can't stop us if they don't know what we're doing, and they can't find out if we have no idea either

[vexwerewolf]

Nah I'm safe it wouldn't happen twice

[vexwerewolf]

Minions stop this post from reaching 1k

[lesser-robot-cat]

On it, boss! Gettin' this post to 10k, just like you said!

[storm-of-the-swarm]

Having a really long-term hyperfixation that has since faded is terrifying yes but it's also so embarrassing. Hi I used to think about Scrimblo Splungus 25/7. Yeah, for 2 years straight. Nah, I don't think about them anymore except for with a vague sense of melancholy as I recall how they used to make me feel. Anyways this new one, Blimpkins McGee? I'm gonna think about them forever and the cycle will NOT repeat in 2 years. Trust me guys.

[akajustmerry]

truly one of the most demoralising things about being in the job market atm is "only successful applicants will be notified" is practically a universal standard. so you spend hours, sometimes days filling out applications, writing CVs and cover letters only to be ghosted as the only form of communication. Not even a "thank you but this time you've been unsuccessful" email. You're in a constant state of "did I not get it or have they not contacted me?" and you just have to eventually conclude you were unsuccessful without so much as courtesy, "sorry, but thank you for your application." A literal thankless cycle for months and months and months. You'd think with all the ways to automate these processes they would at least have the time, means and decency to acknowledge your submission and let you off the hook, but no. You're just in limbo in every possible way in the name of "efficiency". Solidarity with everyone going through this because it is truly dehumanising and demoralising to work so hard on putting yourself forward constantly without acknowledgement or useful communication of any sort for long periods of time, and most ppl simply will not have any compassion for what that's like.