𝓵𝓸𝓿𝓮 * / 𝖘𝖍𝖔𝖙

Twisted love and hate those beautiful memories it is dyed in white little by little it yellows away everyday it gets deeper, calm down hurtful words and a darkly burned heart, where is love? covering my eyes and ears though I forcefully wander, in the end the answer is love

[nakamotens]

理所当然 (Regular) - TEN

[arccn]

* / saintshen‌ ! 

I didn’t ask Saint almost says to him, only swallowing it back down after the last possible moment. He’s glad that it gets cut off, and he’s glad that he’s managing to show some restraint for now, because the way that it feels with his arm wrapped around Roo is so nice. Drawing a deep breath of his sweet scent, Saint lets his cheek rest against his hair and eyes flutter shut along with it. “I’m okay too?” They both make it sound like a question, and neither of them has to answer it for it to be answered. At least that’s how it feels to Saint, and how he hopes that it continues to feel throughout their night. He’s lonely. He misses his best friend, and he misses their tiny bed. It feels good to be so close to someone again. “Things are kind of weird in this place.” He whispers that, quiet.

it’s making him a stupid, inexplicable kind of emotional -- sharing a bed with saint. for someone so accustomed to a lavish lifestyle which allows him king beds on his own with room to spare, he kind of likes it, he decides. he thought he could’ve liked it with henry too, though, so he cuddles back closer as if scared it’ll end much too soon. “i hate it, a little,” he giggles, hand dancing along saint’s forearm. it feels good to admit that he’s not liking it as much here as he initially thought he would. it isn’t that he’s letting henry ruin it for him -- roo is too self centered to allow such a thing -- but he didn’t expect to find himself in fights that weren’t staged or self-initiated out of sheer boredom. but henry was mean and said nasty things and that’s not why roo’s at the villa, is it? “you do like me, don’t you?” roo, were he feeling more himself, may have added a ‘sport’ or ‘kiddo’ for entertainment value. roo isn’t feeling very roo.

[jsuh]

tenlee_1001 // 200118 story update

[koreantunes]

Visit Original Link

iKON - I’m Ok

[arccn]

* / hyuntce‌ ! 

Trying to remain neutral, to remain soft, to remain gentled in that way that his voice wraps around his words is almost impossible when Roo is speaking to him the way that he is. Barely-contained anger and hurt hidden beneath a fucking facade like it matters so much it has to be contained, and Henry can feel himself grow bitter with it, the taste just off the edge of his tongue something foul. Roo sneers at him, and he knows that on some level he probably deserves it, but he also knows that on many, he doesn’t. “Actually, I found something I liked better before I fucked you. Then after, it was finally mine, and you never were. So.” He doesn’t mean to sound so clipped, so harsh, but it’s hard not to when this is the first time since he set foot on this fucking show that he’s been happy, and suddenly he’s the bad guy for it. Well, let him be. Let him be Roo’s ‘bad guy’ this season just like he was Krysta’s last season, and let it fester, because apparently that’s all people want of their wounds around here. No resolution. “Stop pretending like you wanted me for anything besides potential gain. You’ve been on my proverbial cock since before you even got an invitation to be on Love Island, and now you’re going to act like a scorned lover because you chose me and I didn’t give you what you wanted in return. Guess what, Roo? That’s the way the game works. You don’t get what you want. Connections fall through. Sometimes it’s just a fuck, and that’s all it’s supposed to be. I am sorry that I’ve hurt you. That’s all I’m sorry for, though.”

temperamental on a good day, roo’s accustomed to fighting fire with fire. of course he knows he’s agitating an already tentative situation. maybe he subconsciously wanted a fight, though, now that he’s got one he isn’t sure what to do with it. gone is the gentle, shy henry who blushed when roo got a little filthy. the henry he sees now is as much a stranger as perhaps they should have remained all along. if he gets venom, he’s going to be vile in return. “trust me, we’re all well aware. half the nation spent the last few weeks of season one watching you pine for that something better and get nothing in return. it was sad. sweet, even. well congratu-fucking-lations! you’ve worked it out, somehow! i really don’t care to know the details. all i’m saying is that with the way things happened and with the way you decided we couldn’t have just had a civil conversation about it earlier than this, we’re not going to be ‘okay’ like you asked. end of.” the hard set of his jaw and squaring of his shoulders says otherwise. “i wanted you for a good time! that’s all. i enjoyed spending time with you? is that so fucking complicated? so shame me for being a little thirsty or for going after someone i fancied the look of. go right ahead! at least one of us had the balls and didn’t spend weeks pussyfooting around waiting for fate to show her hand.” he takes a deep breath, bringing his voice down from its dangerous volume where he knows it’ll give way to tremors if he’s not careful. “now, you can take those apologies and shove them up your arse because i don’t want them. i don’t need them. again, i’m not hurt . i’m annoyed. and i’d really appreciate it if you took care to remember that so i don’t have to say it another time, please.”

[arccn]

* / saintshen‌ ! 

Why there seems to be a tension building between them that cannot be cut with the same flirtatious banter as they usually bounce back and forth is beyond Saint, but he decides to settle into it rather than shy away from it. Maybe there’s more to it than he can see on the surface, and maybe that soft cast to Roo’s features isn’t something that he wants to try to exploit for once. It goes quite well along with his own, making him swallow a little, and he pretends now like he’s been pretending since the beginning that none of this is having an impact on his self worth. That he won’t let this competition and his resulting feelings about it define him in any way. “Yeah.” A breath, a word, and he props himself up against the pillows. If Roo is the little spoon, then he’ll be the big one, patting the space against his chest and unfolding an arm for him to curl himself up against. They might as well get used to it now, because there’s a sudden vulnerability in him that he needs to nurture, to allow himself to feel, even if it’s only for now, and even if it’s only for in the dark. “We’re worth more, you know?” Than their shitty partners last week. Maybe they can make this week better.

roo folds, both physically and otherwise, yielding to the embrace despite the relative lack of buildup. his sigh is as heavy as it is involuntary, fluttering from parted lips along with a tight shut of his eyes. contact is as difficult as he thought it might be. it’s far more tempting to let the sting of rejection pierce his heart when he has the physical support of strong arms bracketing around him. very worried he might do something stupid like pout or, worse, cry, roo shifts himself around until he’s not facing saint anymore. it’s much easier to hide, that way. he reaches back for his arm and tugs it around him still, wanting to be properly spooned, back to front. “i’m fine,” he offers to saint in a response to a question he hasn’t exactly been asked. “like, i’m okay?” maybe he isn’t. maybe he really, really, isn’t. but if his voice shakes, saint doesn’t have to know.

[arccn]

* / hyuntce‌ !

The implication in Roo’s tone stings as if he’d reached out and slapped him. Henry flinches away from it, knowing that at the end of the day he isn’t going to be able to make up for the honesty of that one statement alone, and it makes him sad in a way that he can’t quite explain. Throat a bit thick with it, he attempts to clear it before he opens his mouth up to speak again, not wanting to allow it to be heard too blatantly in his tone lest it be mistaken for something it’s not. He doesn’t pity Roo, but he does wish there were a way to explain how he feels to him in terms that aren’t going to make him a second choice. Or a third choice, as the case may be. “I’m sorry.” He repeats it again, whispered, and when reaches up to touch his face, he stops his fingers just shy of tracing against his cheekbones. He knows he shouldn’t. “I didn’t just lose interest after we — after we did what we did. It wasn’t like I… I got what I wanted out of you and then decided to drop you. Please, believe me — that was never what I was here for, Roo.” Feelings developed between him, Baby and Minkyu have been a long time coming so far as he’s concerned, and perhaps they have gotten in the way of other connections he could’ve made with people such as Roo, but he still can’t bring himself to regret it.

“oh, save it,” roo sneers, having no time for what he feels is fake sympathy. apologies are self serving and he’s not about to let henry absolve himself that easily. let him feel bad, let it fester. let his happy coupling come with the edge of roo’s annoyance in the back of his mind. “i don’t want to hear it. the only other option is that you weren’t even interested in me in the first place and i’d much rather consider myself a fleeting fancy than just a physical distraction while you sorted shit out.” having said it out loud, the latter feels more accurate anyways. clearly henry’s interests were wrapped up elsewhere for the duration; they were never roo’s to begin with. his upset truly isn’t coming from a place of feelings or, god forbid, heartbreak. nothing had been given the time nor nourishment for even a crush. attraction, sure. a spark. henry and roo were potential energy with a platform upon which to springboard but, instead, henry knocked the supports out from under them. he meant it when he said he felt like his choice had been useless. for being someone so frivolous and spoiled, he hates to waste. “you can’t paint this to be anything other than what it is, henry. we met, we fucked, and then you found something that you liked better. it is what it is -- i’m not going to cry myself to sleep over it. it’s done.”

[arccn]

* / saintshen‌ ! 

It doesn’t take a genius to notice that his flirtations and vile allusions are not meeting that same mark they usually do, and while normally Saint would not make it his mission to find out why, there’s just something about the tension between him and Roo that fit just right for him to feel obligated. Shifting his position on their bed, he props his head up in one of his hands and watches him with dark, unreadable eyes. “It’s okay to want to just sleep. I was only flirting with you.” He doesn’t need to say that, and yet somehow he feels like he does at the same time. Maybe he’s gotten the wrong impression from his interactions with Roo thus far — it certainly wouldn’t be the first time he’s misread something, and it certainly wouldn’t be the first time he’s misread something on this show in particular. A trickle of uncertainty shows in his features, baby face slightly vulnerable, for whatever that’s worth. “I really want to cuddle. I haven’t been cuddled in weeks.”

i know you were flirting, roo wants to snap. there’s something wound up within him, coiled and not in a way that would lead to a fun release. he much prefers the tension him and saint initially had to this confusing inward reflecting. roo hadn’t expected to get caught up in the game of love island. “i’m not sure what i want,” roo confesses in a moment of bluntness. he backtracks quickly so as not to assign it too much depth. “much as i love sleep, your idea of a wakeup call doesn’t sound awful so it’ll depend on my mood in the morning.” roo’s gaze follows saint downward, locking eyes for a moment. he blinks twice, three times. the expression he finds makes roo think that maybe he’s not the only one putting on a show up on a tightrope. “we can cuddle,” he allows himself to meet saint halfway, to coddle the fluttering nerves he reads on his face. “i haven’t either.” it’s telling -- a hidden explanation for his moodiness. despite having been coupled with someone he was into, in whatever sense he defines it, roo was feeling wholly untouched. he leans a knee onto the bed, as if he means to join saint, to lay on top of him. “did you mean now?”

[arccn]

* / hyuntce‌ !

“Okay. Sorry.” Henry murmurs the apology, looking for all the world to be a kicked puppy in the face of Roo’s anger. Maybe there’s something that he did do wrong in all of this, and he’s just missing out on it because he’s too dense to see it. The thought makes him squirm a little bit, and sweat from the mid-afternoon heat gathers at his brow. “I’d like for us to be okay, and I haven’t meant to be avoiding you, Roo. I promise I was just dealing with other things.” Preoccupied is that way that he would describe himself as being, and they both know by now that it was preoccupation with somebody — two somebodies — that kept his attention so thoroughly. “Are you angry with me?”

the apology isn’t acknowledged beyond the silent appreciation for the way henry uses his preferred nickname when he next speaks. the semantics of what he’d like to be called aren’t the focus of his ire. “i don’t think intention is particularly relevant. you’ve been avoiding me, whether you meant to or not, and i think i at least deserved to know why.” other things he knows to me other people. while roo’s spent the latter half of this coupling alone, henry’s clearly been all kinds of ‘busy’. “i’m not angry,” roo drawls and there’s a coolness tinting his voice that’s more threatening than if he’d shouted. “i’m annoyed. disappointed, perhaps.” he rolls his neck, pondering his next statement thoroughly. “if i knew my first choice was going to be wasted, i would’ve gone with roy. at least he still seemed interested after he fucked me. maybe he wouldn’t have been voted off if we’d been a pair instead.”

[arccn]

* / saintshen‌ ! 

“Any other rules for the bedroom that I should know about?” Flirting with Roo comes naturally enough that it doesn’t seem out of context even when he’s being serious, and Saint allows it to hang in the air even as he leaps into their bed. Sprawling his limbs out, he looks over at him, dark hair flopping over his forehead as he affords him a cheeky sort of grin. “Would you say waking you up with my mouth is ‘unexpected’? I’m even giving you forewarning now.” Where the air of playfulness he usually has with Aroon has gone, Saint isn’t certain, but he’s hoping that it will return to them sooner rather than later. This pairing will be almost as boring as his last one if that isn’t the case, and he’d spent the majority of it not even seeing his partner, so that’s not hard to beat. 

“we don’t exactly have easy access to collars, paddles or harnesses so i can’t imagine we’ll need any of my other rules, no.” the natural and filthy devolution of their conversation comes easily and it brings the curl of a smile to his lips. it’d take someone astute to notice that it doesn’t reach his eyes. “why don’t you try it? see how it ends up for you?” roo quirks his head to one side but makes no move to join saint on their bed. he knows to do so would likely lead to touching -- he has sat on the other’s lap before, after all -- but roo isn’t sure he wants to be touched right now. he isn’t sure of a lot of things and it shows. he feels bad that it shows. “sorry,” he offers in an uncharacteristic soft lilt. “i haven’t been sleeping well. one good night’s sleep and i’ll be back to trying to get you to rail me, i promise.” 

[arccn]

* / hyuntce ! 

Henry is on cloud nine. He has been ever since the coupling ceremony, so much so that it doesn’t even occur to him that there might be some others who aren’t quite as ecstatic about the results as he is. Little does he know, the dark and storm aura surrounding Roo when he sees him has more to do with that than anything else, and he finds it difficult to wrap his head around it as he looks down at his hands in his lap. It feels… strange, tense. “Are we okay, Aroon?” It seems like he might already know the answer to that, but part of him still doesn’t want to believe that he cares about him past a couple of sloppy pseudo-public fucks. It was never meant to go anywhere past that, at least for Henry. / @arccn​.

“roo.” his correction is clipped and lacks all of the musical whimsy typical of his carefree personality. it’s hard to pinpoint the cause for his self-imposed misery. he’s not offended they aren’t paired. he doesn’t even mind how his coupling has ended up. there’s just this nagging feeling that he’s been wronged somehow that permeates his thoughts and leads to him turning up a nose at henry’s questioning. “do you think we’re okay, henry? really?” he’s well aware he sounds like a jilted lover. he doesn’t mean to -- it’s just difficult to rein in his temper when it has every reason to flare and fury. “you’ve been avoiding me since even before the coupling so i was under the impression we weren’t.”

[arccn]

* / @saintshen​ !

it isn’t that he wouldn’t have picked saint. in that sense, the ‘luck of the draw’ worked in his favor. it’s more that he wasn’t so sure he wanted to be coupled at all. let him risk being voted off; the whole concept seemed more trouble than it was worth if it left him feeling this sulky. it was just a little shitty to have your first choice pick throw it back in your face. roo hadn’t even done anything wrong, yet! still, he’s trying not to seem too stroppy about the whole thing, lest viewers back home get the horribly off impression that roo had something like ‘feelings’ for henry. “i have rules for the bedroom,” he announces to saint as they shift their few things onto the now-shared bed.  “i’m little spoon. i get most of the covers. don’t wake me up unexpectedly unless you want to be kicked. my safe word is lemonade. and if you have plans to go sleep without me on the beach, at least let me know so i can sprawl in the middle of the bed, as i deserve.” 

[arccn]

* / ttaeycng‌ !

closed starter / @arccn​

tae was making it a point to know everyone in the villa , and there had been a few ( very handsome ) faces that he had yet to introduce himself to . he had gone through the list in it head , picking out those whom he hadn’t met , and decided on one roo . the male finds him lounged in the living room , his long , lanky body sprawled out on the cushions . taeyang finds a spot amongst his legs and plops down , a bright smile beaming at roo . “ hi . ” he says quickly . “ i’ve made it a point to get to know everyone here , and i have yet to know you . so . . here i am . ”

he’s in a bit of a mood -- it’s a dramatic one and maybe a little self serving but still, a mood, and he feels like he’s entitled to it. he almost pities saint for being the one who is going to have to bear the brunt of roo’s fickle emotions but the emphasis is on almost. it’s a little too selfless to worry about how others are going to perceive him and his antics. as he’s joined in his languid moping by one of his housemates, he withers a sigh that’s a performative notch louder than strictly necessary. “how lucky for me then,” he muses nonetheless, taking in an eyeful of the not-quite-stranger. it’s impossible to live together for as long as they all have and not know of someone and to say the other had a certain look that required a little extra attention would be an understatement. “how would you like to know me? i’m an open book.” roo falls into the purr of flirtation like it’s a second (or third, or fourth, or fifth) language.

[yourdailyten]

[arccn]

* / basherhq‌ !

          the villa . finally , everything basher wanted and more . he called it a vacation - told his whole family that he was going to be on reality television , and when they rolled their eyes , as they often did , he shook their head and grinned in the face of their cynicism . more often than not , he was doing things for the benefit of others , whether he knew that consciously , but making his family at home proud had simply been cut out of the equation . love island was simply giving him the life he had wanted for so long , but with added … cameras . he’d only been moved in for about a week and seemed to find himself by the pool more than he cared to admit , which made this afternoon a bit more mundane than the others he had experienced . lounging , drinking , observing - that day , he was doing all three .today , basher was found stretched out by the pool , sipping on something fruity , until he looked up from his phone , eyes meeting another’s . “ there’s a method to all this madness , you know , “ he started, looking back down at the tweet he’d been drafting for the past fifteen minutes . “ dodge the cameras until you look … as good as you do right now , actually . ”  @arccn​

there’s a towel slung around his neck, a slathering of suntan oil on his bare chest and designer swim trunks donned for the occasion. it’s a pool kind of day, sunny heat making for the perfect excuse to be rid of his clothes. to say he’s confident in his lithe figure may be an understatement; he likes to show off and there’s no shame in that. thankfully, someone notices. eyelashes flutter down in the direction of the speaker as he lifts a hand to serve as a makeshift visor from the sun (he makes a note to go back and fetch his uselessly expensive aviators). “lucky me,” roo purrs, deeming his company attractive enough to entertain, “i always look this good. think i’m only here because i make for good television, even when i’m doing absolutely nothing.” his smile goes wry, playful. “you’d know what that’s like though, wouldn’t you?”

[arccn]

what's your favorite thing about the villa? what's your least favorite?

“the people are my favorite – they’re fun to talk to and easy to look at. least favorite would be the, uh, lack of private bedrooms. i shouldn’t have to finesse my way into a comfortable bed for a lay! that’s part of the game though, i get it.”

[arccn]

do you regret anything since coming to the villa? what is it and why?

“getting my back blown out in the actual bathroom twice in close succession. i definitely don’t regret the act but it’s making a few days of abstinence feel like a drought. i’m too pretty for that!”