"It does not do to dwell on dreams..." @doodledoctor - Tumblr Blog

You’re in charge of assigning every child on Earth the monster under their bed. One child in particular has caused every monster assigned to him/her to quit. You decide to assign yourself.

kittenwiskers

Case: #273402 Status: Disastrous.

I stare at the file and realize I have no options, over the last 2 years every monster assigned to Charlotte Dower has quit, every last one. Her first monster; a giant goldfish-faced humanoid named Bubba, had been with her for four years, and then she wasn’t scared of him anymore. After that it was a string of different common, uncommon, and rare monsters… I even assigned a sentient sock monster to her. He came back crying! I look on my tablet, only one assignable monster left; myself. Field work has never been my cup of tea, but desperate times call for desperate measures. So at 8:03 pm, after Mrs. Gideon tucks in Charlotte and her little brother Daniel; I slither into the space beneath Charlotte’s bed. Across the room underneath Daniel’s crib is a rookie, Chico, a standard Creep kind of monster. I turn my attention to the bed above me, Charlotte is still awake but barely, I reach up over the bed and run an ice cold finger over her cheek, silence, so I do it again. “I’m not afraid of you monster!” She whispers, but her voice is shaking. I can see a small clock on the wall 8:14, a door somewhere in the house slams and there is an audible hitch of breath from above me. A few minutes go by I can hear Francis Gideon yelling at his wife. There are heavy footsteps on the stairs, and loud panting breaths, Charlotte scrambles off the bed and… She. CRAWLS. Under. The. Bed. With. Me. “Move. Over!” Charlotte hisses at me. I do. The door to the bedroom slams open and I smell the stench of human intoxicants before the man even steps inside. I know why Charlotte isn’t afraid of any of my monsters; she’s afraid of her own. Francis reaches a hand under the bed and I thrust my wrist into it, he starts to pull, I slither out. “What the…” I cut Francis’s next words off by unfolding to my full 12 foot height. Looming over the drunken man I caress my cold fingers down his face. “If you ever touch, scare, or harm my child again, I will find you, and I will do the same to you, for all eternity.” I promise to him. As Francis runs from the room he soils himself. I pull Charlotte from under the bed, tuck her back under her covers and kiss her forehead goodnight. “I’ll be back tomorrow night, sleep well darling.” Charlotte Dower is my child, I am the monster under her bed.

bi-est-witch-of-middleearth

WELL GODAMN, WE HAVE OURSELVES A WINNER

gabbyzvolt25

Holy shit I’m gonna cry that’s beautiful.

humunanunga

I made visuals of what it feels like to pick up on someone else’s vibes. They feel like ripples through the air.

chirart-deactivated20181203

Notes on what goes into how I do expressions/faces.

I felt bad I pretty much did a “draw a circle NOW DRAW THE REST OF THE OWL” for this question so I thought to expand a bit.

oraclewarrior

Okay but this.

mandasmash

Best thing ive ever seen??

deathcultforsanta

I don’t think I’ve ever reblogged something fitness related before. But now can I not?

radicaldirt

ok im so happy to see this bc ive only seen the ones with guy superheroes which is cool and all but most of my faves are on this list????

spillywolf-deactivated20190920

I NEEDED THIS IN MY LIFE

lady-feral

I really need to save all these and start using them.

fenrir-kin

There is also a Furiosa one

… which i will be restarting tomorrow morning before work

lady-feral

Saved!

wildeismsremade-deactivated2019

I don’t understand american school years what the fuck is a freshman or a sophomore why do you have these words instead of the numbers

aphtaiwan-deactivated20140530

what why would you use numbers

aujo-deactivated20200213

so IT FUCKING MAKES SENSE WHAT THE HELL IS A SOFT MOORE OR A FRESH MAN WHY ARE THE MEN FRESH

theinatorinator-deactivated2020

America makes no sense, as usual.

fndungeonmom

bless the person that actually made the chart

mybine-deactivated20160330

laughter from France

raptortooth

France what the fuck

lazysmirk

HOW TO BUY LOW-COST GLASSES

If you are like me, you are low income. It doesn’t matter why, but you are and sometimes you need things to prevent your quality of life from dipping too much. Like a decent pair of eyeglasses.

Zenni Optical was brought to my attention by one of the residents at the clinic I interned at. The staff is remarkably skilled and it was my privilege to be able to work with them for 300 hours. Anyway, they serve many low-income folks and, instead of them sending them to their optician to look at frames, they recommended taking the up to date prescription and plugging it in at Zenni to get a good pair.

What you need

Your eyeglasses prescription. Get it however:

Dig it up from your paperwork

Call the last place that did your exam and pick it up

Pay for a new eye exam, decline fitting, and take the paper

Your pupillary distance

This is likely on your script somewhere. Look for “PD” and the number behind it. Otherwise, try this.

Here’s what you do:

Make an account at Zenni.

Plug in your prescription. I won’t go into the details of why and how scripts are written the way they are and how cool it is. Just plug in the values exactly as you see them. OD (ocular dexter) is the right eye and OS (ocular sinister) is the left. Sphere, cylinder, and axis for each.

It should look like this:

Now shop for some glasses and order.

Cheapest pair is about $7. Shipping is a flat $4.95 no matter how many pairs you order. Sales are often so, sometimes, shipping is free.

You can also order prescription sunglasses! Just make to order a regular pair in whatever frame, import the prescription you plugged in, and choose Add Standard Lens Tint.

I recently order my sunglasses because my eyes are going to boil out of their sockets. Took about a week. Came with a lens wipe cloth, PD ruler, and a case. Lenses are accurate and the frame doesn’t feel cheap or unbalanced.

SUPER.

imaweaponforsaturday-deactivate

saving this for later

genderfreepussy

Lots of people I know order from zenni and they get wickedly cute glasses for cheap. It’s awesome.

neworleans-unknown

Yall, my mom used to work for a optometrist and she always reccomend these to her patients who couldnt afford reg high priced glasses. This site is bomb. Ive been ordering my glasses from here for years

musinvenusian

Reblogging for myself and eyeglass wearing followers

goldenheartedrose

This is where all my glasses have come from for the last 10+ years.

deducecanoe-deactivated20161213

I swear by these guys. I have never had a problem with the cut or focal point which I have had with Davis and other insurance that make you go through their lab. Even their most tricked out glasses are cheaper than store glasses.

mmelolabelle

But what if Anakin isn’t ignoring Kylo Ren? What if that great pull Kylo feels towards the Light is Anakin Skywalker desperately trying to save his grandson from his own fate, the way his wife and son tried to save him?

airyairyquitecontrary-deactivat

what if Anakin is literally constantly standing behind Kylo Ren, sputtering with ghostly frustration, going, “No! No! No! Do not do that! Do NOT do that! oh for fuck’s sake.”

indigobluerose

This is almost certainly what is actually happening.

zenkaiboostpodcast-blog

“Ben if you skewer my son-in-law with that lightsaber then SO HELP ME”

mmelolabelle

“Ben Solo your mother is blaming me for this, get your ass home and apologize now or I swear-”

3fluffies

And Yoda and Obi-wan are watching, shaking their heads. “Now you know how we felt,” Obi-wan says.

Yoda agrees: “A bitch, karma is.”

cywscross

I love this. So many people can just totally see Anakin trying to strangle Ben from the afterlife.

stability

oh my god

tertastic

This site has no chill i CANNOT

femslashvevo

Catalogue of Human Features by Majnouna

(click on the picture to read)

warboyfuriosa

here’s an upload of that art ref with better quality!

sneridot

buffskeleton

honestly the worst thing abt star wars is that i hate going on the beach and if someone asks me why i have to literally say with my mouth ‘i hate sand’ and then i have to try So Hard not to go ‘it’s course and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere’ but he’s Right anakin skywalker is 100% Correct sand is the Worst

moghedien

you ever realize how low-key messed up the Jedi Order is?

hydnelllum

I aint saying the Sith are good guys, they do bad shit as well, but let’s look at history on the other side of things.

> Paint Sith as villains when the were originally just a splinter faction with a differing belief system.

> Lead a court ordered genocide against a Sith planet that posed no threat after having been defeated in a war.

> Fun fact, the Sith were only on that planet becuase the jedi had killed all but 12, stripped them of everything and put them on ships into random deep space

> Essentially the Jedi made the Sith what they are today through stupid decision making

> Abandoned their peace loving code (which was forged because of legislation disbanding their military forces, bringing about a thousand year era of peace) to become commanders and generals in the Clone Wars.

> Lead a violent coup against a leader who was actually elected once it came put that he was from a group they a personal vendetta against, because this is what peace loving space monks do guys.

> Literally train to feel no remorse or pity as opposed to the Sith who are expected to embrace the full spectrum of emotion.

moghedien

Not even looking at the Sith though, they’re still just so

No, we don’t kidnap children. We take them because it is the will of the force. oh, and younglings if you ever feel the urge to meet with your family again you need to go talk to the counselor because something is wrong with you and that urge is bad

Beware of any other group of force users (even excluding the sith and evil people). We’re the only ones that can use the force properly. We are literally the only people in the entire galaxy that should have an organized group of force sensitives because everyone but us is wrong

Has a prophecy about the Chosen One bringing balance to the force and thinks that somehow means being blinded by the light. Hint: that’s not a balanced scale (I still fail to see how destroying all trace of the dark side is “balanced” but ok george lucas)

if you’re afraid you might turn evil, so don’t be afraid children, and don’t be afraid of turning evil because you were afraid.

If you don’t get taken as an apprentice that’s ok, younglings. You can become a farmer, but you’re still a Jedi to us. Unless we tell you to leave and send you back to that family we told you to forget about.

politicians are bad and we shouldn’t rely on them. It’s okay because its not like we deal with politics anyway. Anyway, let’s constantly harass the senate and pressure them into doing what we want

don’t get attached to anything. besides your lightsaber. and your master, but not really your master. don’t get attached or you’ll turn evil and probably kill everyone

crazynoodles69

Just in case some of you are interested…

Jedi Code:

There is no emotion, there is peace.

There is no ignorance, there is knowledge.

There is no passion, there is serenity.

There is no chaos, there is harmony.

There is no death, there is the Force.

Sith Code:

Peace is a lie, there is only passion. Through passion, I gain strength. Through strength, I gain power. Through power, I gain victory. Through victory, my chains are broken. The Force shall free me.

And a third one also exists which is made by the gray Jedi. (The ones who’ve “gone rouge” but aren’t Sith)

There is no Dark Side, nor a Light Side

There is Only the Force

I will do what I must to keep the balance

The balance is what keeps me together

There is no good without evil, but evil must not be allowed to flourish

There is passion, Yet peace

Serenity, Yet emotion

Chaos, Yet order

I am the wielder of the flame, the protector of balance

I am the holder of the torch, lighting the way

I am the keeper of the flame, soldier of balance

I am a guardian of balance

I am a Gray Jedi

commodorecliche

Not to mention the continuous mind-fucking of anyone they need to trick. Jedi legitimately are A-okay with manipulating the free will of others to achieve their means.

darth-salem-emperor-of-earth

@actualanakinskywalker, you might like this.

shrimpfandango

In case you’ve been fed too much Jedi propaganda.

the-radical-electric-deactivate

LOL @ the very casual “Sith do bad things too, I guess” vibe of this post. Play SWTOR or KOTOR (which are both verified as canon by the LucasFilm story group) and tell me that the Sith are just poor victims of the Jedi. In the Consular story line of SWOTR, we find out that the very first jedi council (before lightsabers were even a thing) was nearly wiped out by the first fallen jedi who just decided to like…murder everyone. In TFA we see the most recent example of Sith breaking from the Jedi. Literally the whole deal with the Sith is to just get angry and murder everyone. Jedi are basically religious fanatics, so they are often problematic and archaic in their views and methods. However the entire basis of their “religion” is to uphold peace and do morally good shit. So the entirety of their existence, they have seen countless fallen Jedi turn and try to murder everyone, so they do their best to train their Padawans to avoid what caused that to happen…ie letting anger and emotion get the best of you. Like…you say that its a bad thing to remove all former relationships and shit from the younglings minds, but Anakin literally did the murder everyone thing BECAUSE he was too old to forget about his mom and it turned him into mr. emo jedi the first. Anakin should never have been allowed to train as a Jedi, and the whole council knew it. but yeah…sith are meanies who murder everyone for fun and deserve little to no pity or recognition.

daftalchemist

I absolutely agree that the Sith are evil, but it’s really been bugging me lately how it seems like the Sith are the way they are almost because of the way the Jedi order is, or at least in part. It really hit me while playing KotoR2, when it’s revealed that the whole reason Revan even fell is because the Jedi council was sitting on their thumbs while the galaxy was being slaughtered in a war with the Mandalorians, begging the Jedi for help, but the council basically decided to sit and wait it out and decide their best course of action at that point. Revan couldn’t just sit back and watch whole planets be destroyed and left to fight, and others followed him, and at that point they were considered “fallen”. The inaction of the council caused the Jedi order to split in two, starting a civil war between those who believed fighting to save innocent lives was right, and those who believed disobeying the order meant you were dark side.

There’s similar issues in SWTOR where the beginning of both Jedi class stories is you being sent to lowkey help a colony of Twi’lek refugees who are in desperate need of aid, but because they’re on the planet against the wishes of the republic, the council won’t help them. A group of people who claims to stand for compassion won’t help starving, dying refugees. While I played my Sith character, I was able to do actual good all the time, gaining light side points (while still remaining overall dark side, of course) with my decisions to spare people or stop people from committing acts of true evil, but so many times on my Jedi if I wanted to do what was right, it was a dark side decision because it wasn’t what the Jedi order stood for.

The Sith are evil, absolutely, and I’m never going to argue that they aren’t, but the Jedi order always talks about this “allure” the dark side has, that it’s seductive and sneaks up on you without you realizing. I think, instead, it’s that people are pushed towards it, not because the light side is restricting or awful, but because the ways of the Jedi are. That’s why Luke was needed. He taught a balanced middle path that not even the Jedi would have approved of if any of them had survived to see it.

tkeiralea

Via x

thehardveneer

#THAT IS A STORMTROOPER DRESS

soft-puppy-boyfriend

That’s not just a storm trooper dress. It’s a Captain Phasma dress. The nerd has a long flowy dress with her own character on it god bless Gwendoline Christie tbh