~𝒜𝓇𝒸𝓇𝒾𝑜𝓉'𝓈 ℳ𝒶𝓈𝓉𝑒𝓇𝓁𝒾𝓈𝓉~
Your quick guide to all of my fics
KEY: 🔥(NSFW), 💔(Angst), 🌸 (Fluff)
•Marvel•
Helmet Zemo:
🔥The Baron’s Bunny (Part 1) 💔🔥(Part 2)
Bucky Barnes:
💔 The Truth
•Star Wars•
Anakin Skywalker:
💔To Save Your Soul
Mike Driver
Acquired Stardust
d e v o n

No title available
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
Keni
YOU ARE THE REASON
Game of Thrones Daily
art blog(derogatory)

祝日 / Permanent Vacation

⁂

★
Today's Document
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
Cosimo Galluzzi

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year

ellievsbear
Peter Solarz
seen from Türkiye
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@arcriotwrites
~𝒜𝓇𝒸𝓇𝒾𝑜𝓉'𝓈 ℳ𝒶𝓈𝓉𝑒𝓇𝓁𝒾𝓈𝓉~
Your quick guide to all of my fics
KEY: 🔥(NSFW), 💔(Angst), 🌸 (Fluff)
•Marvel•
Helmet Zemo:
🔥The Baron’s Bunny (Part 1) 💔🔥(Part 2)
Bucky Barnes:
💔 The Truth
•Star Wars•
Anakin Skywalker:
💔To Save Your Soul
Hellooo COMPLETELY okay if you haven't gotten to it yet or aren't feeling the prompt, I just wanted to check if you got my zemo x ftm reader fic I sent a while ago?? Tumblr loves to eat my asks so just wanted to check :3
I did get your ask! I apologize for not responding to the first one! I do plan to write it (hopefully soon) but my writers block has been real bad lately. I am finishing another fic I started and then am going to work on your request!! I appreciate your patience so much😭💚
love saying "question mark?" out loud when I'm talking about something i'm unsure of
I’m so mad because this worked
help me roger
Reblogging myself because
Originally posted by gifs-for-the-masses
Reblogging myself because… what was that? Five minutes?
O_O
………my friend has made me curious
help me roger
Update: after I reblogged this someone messaged me offering me tickets to the sold out Hausu screening with a Q&A and autograph session with the director
let’s do it, roger
Roger helppppp
I need you Roger!
ROGER PLEASE
pretty please roger
Roger, please. I need a win😭
it may take me a month to put out a chapter but at least im not using ai to write it.
it may take me a month to put out a chapter but at least im not using ai to write it.
it may take me a month to put out a chapter but at least im not using ai to write it.
it may take me a month to put out a chapter but at least im not using ai to write it.
it may take me a month to put out a chapter but at least im not using ai to write it.
IT MAY TAKE ME A MONTH TO PUT OUT A CHAPTER BUT AT LEAST IM NOT USING AI TO WRITE IT
~𝒯𝑜 𝒮𝒶𝓋𝑒 𝒴𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝒮𝑜𝓊𝓁~
Anakin Skywalker x Female reader
Warning: ANGST, possible reader death (foretold in nightmare), angry Anakin, slight gaslighting, yelling, unhappy ending, this is heartbreaking
Authors note: I have returned! I know I say this in all of my fics but I want to try and write more regularly. I just got back into my Star Wars obsession so enjoy this. Yes I did find the Revenge of the Sith script online to get scene dialogue accurate, you’re welcome🤭
Word Count: 2.9K
He knelt so easily before the emperor, the submission of power coming to him like second nature. When it came to protecting you, it was like second nature.
You had been his light when the darkness seemed to pull him a bit too close. Those nights he was scared to sleep turned into soft laughs and whispered promises despite those persistent nightmares. Though his latest nightmare tugged at him like an insistent child.
He had seen it so clearly, you on the ground, slain by a saber. The look in your eyes was fear, that look now plastered forever in death. He knew his dreams could become reality and this one he had to heed the warning of, that much was clear. At first he had shoved it off as just another nightmare, his mind trying to stray his focus from his training. Sure, the Jedi Council had decided to not make him a Master and that irked him but he knew he’d get the position someday by continuing to grow in his skill and maturity. When that same nightmare kept coming every night, that image of your frozen, fearful face imprinted in his mind, he knew he had to make sure it never became reality, training be damned.
That’s what led him here, kneeling before Emperor Palpatine, begging to be taught the ways of the Sith to save your life from that dreaded nightmare. Never had he thought he’d want to learn these skills, not until your life came into play. He had to save you, no matter by what bounds that meant.
“Please… just help me save her life.”
His voice broke as tears welled up, his eyes bloodshot from those sleepless nights. He was desperate, his voice a whimper as his bottom lip wobbled. He knew this went against every oath he had ever taken, every promise he had ever made, except one.
I promise I will protect you, no one can hurt you now.
He remembers telling you that after there was an attack on your life a few months ago. It was the only promise that truly mattered to him now.
“I can’t live without her. I won’t let her die. I want the power to stop death.”
He felt weak, like he couldn’t move. He couldn’t move until he knew he could save you, Palpatine was his only hope to do so.
“To cheat death is a power only one has achieved, but if we work together, I know we can discover the secret.”
Palpatine’s voice was brittle, cracking like glass through the air. The broken window behind him blew his cape around him, only adding to the power he held. Anakin’s eyes lifted to meet the Emperor’s, pure desperation pouring from his gaze.
“I pledge myself to your teachings. To the ways of the Sith.”
The words fell from his lips like a plea, a prayer he had no idea how it would even be answered. He would turn to the dark side if it meant seeing your smile for the rest of his days. That smile he longed to come home to. The way your eyes glowed like Mustafar, a planet he had visited only once but he saw its beauty when no one else did. In a way, you had much in common with the planet. Your passion for justice burned like fire and you were always determined no matter what, not afraid to burn bridges when destruction was necessary.
“Good. Good. The Force is strong with you. A powerful Sith you will become. Henceforth, you shall be known as Darth…Vader.”
Palpatine’s voice crashed into his ears, the weight of his decision hitting him quickly. Had he really just done this? Pledged his life to the Sith? He was becoming the one thing he had sworn to destroy. This doubt and weight quickly dissipated when that fearful look on your face flashed in his mind. He couldn’t let that be his reality. A life without you was no life at all whether it was living for the dark or light.
Anakin looks up, his eyes burning with a new determination. He looked his new master in the eyes, power flowing through his veins. Every second you were apart was like torture for him, he needed to get back to you.
“Thank you, my Master.”
“Rise, Lord Vader.”
His master’s voice booms in the room, forcing Anakin to his feet with its power. He bows to Palpatine who nods to him with a small smirk. Upon his dismissal, Anakin turns on his heels, his feet heavy in the room as the doors open for him. He exits, his footsteps echoing in the large hall, the marble trembling from his new determination.
The great hall soon turned into secured sections and not quickly enough, senators chambers. He approached the door to the room you two shared and swung it open. He watched you as you sat on the curved sofa in the living room, your gaze going from the view outside to him. He watched your eyes widen and you shoot up, registering that it was him. You rush into his open arms and he embraces you, his hands feeling the soft silk that adorned your back. He buried his nose into your hair, inhaling your sweet scent. Alive. You were alive.
"Ani, what are you doing here? I thought you wouldn't be home for another hour?"
You question, the surprise in your voice making a smile creep onto his lips. He freezes for a moment, trying to find a response.
"I snuck out during recess. I didn't want to sit there for another boring hour when I knew you were here waiting for me."
It was technically the truth. He had snuck out of a council meeting in order to go talk to Palpatine which in turn brought him home to you an hour early.
He watched as you playfully rolled your eyes at him and lent up to place your lips on his. Every fear and anxiety he had felt the past few days seemed to melt away as he kissed you back. You felt his hands fist into the silk of your slip gown and you could feel his intensity grow. It was like him to deepen actions but this felt different. Something was wrong but you couldn't quite put your finger on it. You felt him pick you up, your legs wrapping around his waist as he took the both of you back to the sofa. He sat down with you in his lap and you tried to shimmy to the side, only for his hands on your waist to tighten.
"Don't go running away from me now."
He said in that playful tone that always made your chest heat up. No matter how much time you spent together, he could still so easily fluster you with a few simple words. You were truly connected to him.
"I'm not running away, I just thought you'd want to sit and enjoy the view since you haven't been home all day."
You say with a soft smile, watching his lips curl into a soft smirk. Your weight in his lap seemed to ground him.
"Why would I want to look out there when what I have wanted all day is to look at you?"
He asks, his head tilting slightly. You could feel your blush rising up your neck and into your cheeks. You knew he saw it because his gaze dropped to your collarbones and followed the blush all the way until his eyes met yours again. He had that cocky smirk on his lips and that playful glint in his eyes, he knew exactly what he was doing.
That cocky expression soon faded and he found himself getting lost in thought. His chest felt tight, the realization of his choices hitting him like an X-Wing in hyperspeed. He didn't exactly regret his choices, more so mourning the decisions that would come with it. You would ask questions. He knew he couldn't tell you the truth. Everyday you fought in the senate to take down Palpatine and the Sith. He had just sworn an oath to the very group you swore to destroy. Would you ever understand? If he had the time and words to explain, would you find his actions stupid or romantic? He was trying to save your life after all. Though, knowing you, you'd rather die than watch him become what you hate.
"Ani, what's wrong?"
Please don't ask me questions, I can't lie to you.
His thoughts came to a halt as you spoke, his eyes sorrowful before he steeled his expression, plastering a smile on his face.
"Nothing. I was just remembering the meeting."
It wasn't a lie, he was thinking about his meeting with Palpatine and the choices he made. He hoped you would just let it go but he also knew you would worry for him.
"Something else is going on, what is it?"
You ask him, your head tilting a bit as your hand comes up to rest on his cheek. He lent into your touch for a moment. He had to give you something, make sure you didn't continue to dig for more.
"I've been having this same nightmare..."
He trails off, his voice barely above a whisper. The image of your fearful face flashes in his mind again, making him visibly pull away. That could not be his reality. He opened his eyes again to see you staring at him with deeper concern, waiting for him to continue.
"You... die in it. I can't let that happen."
He states hesitantly but firmly, his face now flooded in despair. His emotions were always so quick to change and you knew how to handle it but this time, you had never seen him so scared. You set your hands in your lap, him having moved away from your touch when he winced.
"Those are just nightmares, I am alive and well. You can't let them cons-"
"No! NO! They are not just nightmares and I will not let you die! We will save you. We have to!"
He interrupts you in a frantic ramble, overcome by the frustration of this nightmare. It had plagued him for weeks and he lived every second scared of it becoming reality. That was the thing he hated most about his nightmares, they never gave him a timeline. His frustration had boiled over, unable to live with this nightmare by himself anymore. It was real and he refused to believe it wasn't. His raised voice makes you jump to your feet, practically scrambling out of his lap. You take a few steps back, the initial shock of hearing his voice reach that volume starts to settle in. He never yelled at you or around you, it was something he made a point not to do. Your hands subconsciously grip at the sides of your gown, his words setting in.
"We? Who is we?"
He was hiding something and you knew it. He had just showed his hand and you were never one to let it go.
"Why does it even matter? I am trying to save you from a hell I have lived every night for weeks!"
His voice was still raised and he stood from the couch making you step back. You had never seen him like this before. It was like he was angry but his anger wasn't exactly placed so it was getting let out on everything.
"It matters because I need to know who you are plotting with and what is even being plotted! I don't like secrets, Ani. Why didn't you talk to me about this? I could have helped you!"
You stood your ground, not letting his current state intimidate you. When he got angry in general, that was the one way for him to truly understand his own feelings and how he was expressing them. He got closer to you, his hand reaching out to gently grasp your upper arm. His actions were a stark contrast to his harsh tone and if anything, that worried you more.
"You can't help me, not anymore."
His voice grew dark, his eyes getting shadowed by something else. Determination and sorrow flooded his gaze, making a chill run down your spine. What had he done?
"Anakin, what did you do?"
The use of his first name made his back straighten. You two quickly took to nicknames when you first got together. You only used his first name when things grew serious.
"I can't tell you, you'll hate me."
His voice was pained, his anger now focused on himself. He should have never let himself fall so deep into this obsession. He shouldn't have let himself focus on this nightmare. Maybe he shouldn't have even let himself focus on you.
"So you'd rather our relationship be built on secrets?"
Your voice cracked when you asked, your mind racing. Had he hurt someone or himself? What could he have done that would be this bad to the point he's convinced you'd hate him? He was truly ready to live like this all because of something he had done.
"I can't tell you."
His voice is quieter now, holding a firm tone that matched his grip tightening on your arm. You looked up at him with tears in your eyes. Was he really willing to to put your relationship in jeopardy all because he couldn't tell you this?
"I can't live without you. I had no other choice."
His voice breaks and you can see the tears and guilt in his eyes. You hesitantly reach your hand up, caressing his cheek. A tear slides down, matching your own. You had never seen him so distraught yet so set in his ways. He had always been stubborn but this was different, he was keeping something from you.
"Please, you can tell me. I need you to tell me."
The man who loved you with everything he had was harboring something so important from you and you couldn't even begin to understand why. Did he not trust you? You watch as your plea seems to weaken his resolve, his mind racing as he tries to figure out what to say.
"You can't harbor this by yourself. If my life has been put into someone else's hands but your own, I need to know. Please-"
Your voice cracks, a sob threatening to bubble up as worry floods you like a tidal wave you could have never been prepared for. He was destroying himself and you had no chance to stop it. You watch as he swallows hard, guilt riddling him as the true realization of his actions sets in.
"The Sith have a way of protecting someone from death..."
That was all you needed to hear, a sob wracking your body. You step out of his grasp, stumbling back until your pressed against a small vanity, your hand gripping the edge of it. He stayed where he was, his head bowed in guilt. Your hand clamps over your mouth, trying to stifle your sobs. He had chosen a path you couldn't follow, swearing his life to something you fought against everyday. He takes a step forward and you put your hand up, stopping him.
"Don't. Don't... I can't believe what I'm hearing."
You sob out, your vision clouded with tears. Your heart was breaking in two, this being the ultimate betrayal. You didn't even know what else to say, trying to process the weight of his words. He hadn't even fully said it but you knew the implications.
"It was the Chancellor, wasn't it? He can't save you Anakin and he sure as hell can't save me!"
Your voice rose into a shout as your sobs continue, your body shaking so bad that you were sure you'd fall over if you let go of the vanity. His expression darkens at the mention of the Chancellor, his anger reemerging.
"Don't you dare speak illy of him, he is giving me the power to save your life!"
His voice came in another shout but he didn't step closer. Your sobs continue, the realization of this all being way too much to bare. He was already more loyal to Palpatine than he was to you.
"Anakin, I'll never stop loving you but you have chosen a path that I can't follow."
Your heart shatters, this betrayal happening too quickly. His anger had mounted and he just stares at you, his eyes dark. You couldn't tell if it was sorrow in his eyes, your vision too fuzzy with tears.
"I did this for you..."
He whispers, his footsteps heavy as he walked towards the door. He pledged his life to the Sith to try and save you, yet the only outcome he got was losing you. He couldn't tell what you needed protection from now, death or him. The anger he felt was something unfamiliar and he knew he had to leave before he did something permanent. He was going to save you, whether you liked it or not.
THIS IS A CALL FOR INSPIRATION!
Please send me fanfic requests, please please please. I want to write some so bad but I have no ideas and can’t pick a character. Be as detailed as you want!
~𝒯𝒽𝑒 ℬ𝒶𝓇𝑜𝓃'𝓈 ℬ𝓊𝓃𝓃𝓎 𝓅𝓉.2~
Helmut Zemo x Gender Neutral reader (female anatomy used) 18+
Warnings: ANGST, reader traumadump, mentions and descriptions of abuse, mentions and descriptions of alcohol abuse, established dynamic, reader finding comfort in said dynamic, using subspace as a form of coping, pet names (Bunny, Bun, darling, My Love, etc.), female anatomy used, use of honorifics (Sir, Baron, etc.), Cockwarming, Riding, Unprotected (Wrap it before you tap it), Breeding
Author’s Note:
I am back with a second installment to The Baron’s Bunny. This can be read as a stand alone but I highly suggest reading the first part beforehand to gain some context. If you want to read the first part it is on my page (I am an old man and don't know how to link other posts yet). As always, take the tags very seriously and enjoy!
Word Count: 3.6K
Your mind slowly gains consciousness, feeling yourself pull from sleep. You can feel his warm chest beneath your cheek, his heartbeat in your ear which makes a smile tug at your lips. Your eyes slowly flutter open, your gaze falling to the soft hairs of his tummy, slowly trailing up his chest and to his face. He was reading, his glasses perched on his nose as his eyebrows were knitted together in a focused expression. You glance up at the book he was reading and sit up slightly, causing him to notice you were awake.
"Good morning, my love." He says with a soft smile, reaching onto the nightstand and grabbing his bookmark. You sit up as he puts his bookmark in the page and shuts the book, setting it on the nightstand. As he takes his glasses off and sets them atop the hardcover you look down, the shirt you are wearing not having been what you fell asleep in. Hell, you weren't even in the same location as when you fell asleep. He must've moved you both from the couch to your bed without waking you.
A scent of peppermint wafts through your nostrils along with his cologne which seemed to confuse you. He must have picked up on your curious face because he speaks, "I didn't want to rummage through your clothes to find you a shirt to sleep in so I put you in my undershirt from last night".
Oh... last night...
The thoughts flood your mind, the memories making your face grow red. The memories of him having you in his lap, his fingers shoved deep inside you while he used his own legs to hold yours open. You clear your throat, trying to keep your thoughts at bay as you now investigate the peppermint smell. Your gaze searches the room, landing on your nightstand. There on your tea warmer sat a fresh mug of peppermint tea. He remembered. You aren't sure why it surprised you, he always did this. Part of his aftercare for you was making you your favorite tea, he was still into the routine despite having been apart for so long. You can hear him chuckle beside you.
"How are you feeling, bun?" He asks, his voice like a drug in your ears as it seems to trigger something inside you. This always happened. Hearing his sleepy voice in the morning always made you never want to get out of bed.
"I'm ok, my legs are a bit sore but nothing a couple Tylenol couldn't fix". You chuckle out, feeling the ache in your legs grow more apparent as you sit up, a soft groan leaving your lips as you do so.
You reach over and grab the steaming mug from your nightstand and take a sip, feeling the liquid warm your chest as you look back over at him smiling. You shift slightly where you sit, trying to get more comfortable when you realize something else. You weren't in the same underwear then you had fallen asleep in either. As you go to ask him, your gaze falls to the top drawer of your dresser. It was open still, lace panties sticking out of the sides. Your chest started tighten as you realize the timeline of events. After carrying you to bed and getting you into his shirt for the night, he had dug through your underwear drawer to find you a comfortable pair to sleep in, refusing to shut the drawer again as to not wake you with the squeaking of the wood. You clear your throat as you let that realization settle into your head, setting the mug back down on the warmer. He had put so much care into you, even when you were asleep. He made sure you were comfortable and safe while asleep, the knowledge making your heart swell. You couldn't help but feel your throat start to burn as certain other memories started to push to the forefront of your mind. You stand, your back to him as if you were just looking out the window as tears made their way to your eyes.
His eyes stayed on your frame, enjoying the way you looked. You were slightly disheveled but looked so cozy. A smile tugged at his lips, that was until you made a fatal mistake. You sniffled. He shot out of bed, speed walking his way over to you in his blue plaid sleep pants. He didn't speak, simply wrapping his arms around your waist which made you now fully breakdown. You collapse back into his chest, your body trembling as the memories you had shoved down so far seemed to explode out. He could feel you collapse into him and his arms tightened around you, carrying you to the bed. He sat you down and laid you back, taking a seat a few feet from you. he was letting you decide whether his touch would comfort or startle you in this moment. A single word leaves your lips as you tremble in your own bed, the Baron's gaze concerned as he rakes your frame.
"Marcus..."
...Four Years Prior...
The bottle he was holding disappeared in a flash, that was until it shattered at your feet. A yelp leaves your lips as you cover your head with your arms, trying to deflect any stray glass.
"Who the fuck do you think you are, trying to tell me what to do?!" Marcus shouts, his voice booming through the kitchen. To you, it was like an earthquake, the walls and counters seeming to shake with the volume of it.
Your breathing was coming in short gasps, sure that if you didn't calm it down, you would hyperventilate. Your voice came out weak as you spoke, "I-I'm not trying to tell you to do anything... I'm sorry.." Your voice was frail and panicked, almost unable to understand as you shook, trembling where you stood in the kitchen. The wooden floor was splintered beneath your bare feet, probably from how many times it had glass thrown at it. You step back as he steps forward, trying to avoid stepping on any broken glass.
He was huffing like a bull, angry and fuming as though you were a matador cloaked in red. The sound went muffled as he charged at you, knowing you couldn't stop him. Your back hit the ground with a sharp gasp leaving your lips, the wind being knocked out of you. You could feel the glass stabbing into your back, blood staining your t-shirt. You tried to shove him off, shoving your elbows into his chest as he grasped your wrists. You writhed beneath his weight, the alcohol on his breath stinging your nostrils as you cried, groaning as you tried with every power of your being to shove him off. You almost had him off by shoving your knees into his abdomen, that was until both of his hands wrapped around your throat. He gripped your neck like he was mad at it and in a way, he was. Your voice had been the one to tell him to stop drinking. You had been the one to tell him he gets scary when he's drunk. He took that as a challenge it seems. The oxygen is cut off to your brain but that doesn't stop you from thinking of every possible way to get out of this. As you reel for an escape route, your memory flashes to the gun he had tucked in the waistband of his jeans. He always kept it there 'incase someone breaks in' and right now, he was the intruder. He was in your home, harming you. He had been doing it for years now and in this moment, you snapped. As your vision went fuzzy, your legs going numb due to the lack of oxygen, you used all of your strength to raise your right hand. In his fit of rage and determination to make you go unconscious, he doesn't feel the gun leave his waistband.
Nor did he expect to be your first kill that morning.
...Current Day...
As you lay trembling, your voice small as you whisper that one word, Zemo's whole posture changes. He knows what you are talking about. He had read up on the case when he first met you, remembering the article title in his head. "1 Dead in Domestic Abuse Struggle, Victim Found Not Guilty on Grounds of Self Defense".
You seem to claw your way over to him, his hands sliding under your armpits and lifting you into his lap as you sob. You realize that you had never truly processed that morning. It was the day your whole life changed. You always said it was so you didn't dwell on the past but in reality, the pain and suffering that came from that morning was too much to handle. Sure, you had escaped the abusive relationship but that meant confronting that abuse head on instead of it continuing its routine. It was like a tornado. As you stand in the hail and whipping winds, you get used to the chaos. The true hurt doesn't come until after, examining the damage and rubble.
You bury your face into his neck, inhaling deeply. The smell of coffee and sweat floods your head and it makes you relax against him as he rubs your back.
"Shhhh, my love. Take some deep breaths for me, ok?" He says gently, taking deep breaths himself as you copy his movements.
The rhythmic movements of his hand rubbing your back lull you into a sense of safety. His touch was gentle, as though you were a piece of glass for him to clean and dust. You could feel your mind starting to go fuzzy as your sobs calm down, though the tears still stream down your face. You pull back slightly, your eyes blown as you look up at him. He knows that look, it was one of his favorites but in this moment, he wasn’t sure why that was the look you were giving him.
“Bunny?” He asks, as if asking you why you had sunken into subspace.
To you it was easy. He was protecting you, taking care of you. It was the only right thing your brain could think to do in such a vulnerable moment. You take a deep breath before you speak, your voice coming out softer and a bit strained.
“My brain just needs this right now I guess…” You say softly, his hand never stopping its motions on your back. You watch him give a small nod, slowly understanding why this is what your brain reverted to.
This is when you felt the safest, when you could shut your brain off and give it to him. When he had full control over you it was like nothing else mattered. It made you feel the most loved and the safest you possibly could be because he was there to guide you and protect you. He finally seemed to understand that as he placed a soft kiss to your forehead. Your eyes closed as his lips made contact with your skin, a soft hum vibrating in your chest as his hand moved from your back to your hip as you sat in his lap.
“Darling, I need you to look at me.” The Baron said, his tone slightly firmer than before. You let your eyes flutter open and look up at him, a soft smile on your face as he continues. “Do you want to stay like this or do you need something else?” He asks, your face growing warm at his question.
You knew what he meant. Did you want to stay in his lap while he comforted you or did you need more of him? Did you need him to make you forget all those memories? You knew your own answer, you needed a distraction, you needed him to make you forget about all of it. Was it the healthiest way to do that? Definitely not and you knew that but therapy wasn’t exactly an option in Madripoor so this would have to do. You could feel your stomach starting to turn as you spoke.
“Something else, please.” You whisper out, your eyes blown as you look up at him. A smile breaks out onto his lips as his hands rest on your waist, pulling you closer to him.
“Good job, bunny. Now, do you think you can use your words and tell me what you want?” He asks, coddling you. You knew he was asking because he wanted to make sure he was only doing what you wanted. He was asking to know what you consented to in such a vulnerable state.
“Just something gentle… I need to feel close to you right now.” You whisper out, letting yourself fully give into this submissive headspace. You knew he wouldn’t judge you for it. If this was how your mind was going to cope right now, he would gladly help you along.
“Ok, darling. Do you wanna warm me while I read to you?” His voice floats to your ears like a song, a smile forming on your lips as you nod. You watch as his gaze seems to harden slightly. “Ah ah ah, can you verbalize your answer for me, bunny?”
His reprimanding tone makes a shiver run down your spine which causes him to chuckle. You blush as he forces you to verbalize your want. This shouldn’t surprise you, he never did anything to you unless you verbally confirmed or consented to it.
“Yes, Baron. I would like that.” You say softly, your voice cracking a bit as you shift in his lap. He notices your discomfort and chuckles gently, working his fingers into the waistband of the panties he had put you in the night before.
“That’s my good bunny. Now how about we get these off of you?” He says softly, placing a kiss to your cheek as he pulls them down your legs. You shift in his lap to help get them off and toss them to the floor. You return to his lap, straddling his waist. You swallow hard as you notice the prominent bulge in his sleep pants, your eyes seeming to your to the sight for a bit too long.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to stretch you out a bit beforehand, darling? I don’t want this to hurt you, my love.” The Baron states, the worry in his tone only making the heat rise in your core. You clear your throat, his hands resting on the bare skin of your waist. You melt as you feel his thumbs working circles into your soft skin.
“I’m sure.” You whisper out, knowing he always needed that verbal answer. You take a breath before lifting yourself up, pulling the waistband of his sleep pants down as his cock is freed from its restraints. You swallow hard, having forgotten just how big he was.
“You haven’t taken it in awhile, why don’t you let me-“ His sentence is cut off with a groan as you slide his tip inside of you, panting as you look at him. “Боже, дорогая. Ты действительно знаешь, чего хочешь, да?” (God, darling. You really know what you want huh?)
His words only fuel you, sinking down onto him inch by inch. You grip at his shoulders, whining as you get him about halfway inside you, your legs shaking. His grip on your hips tightens, halting you from sinking down any further.
“Помедленнее, зайка. У нас есть все время в мире, я не могу допустить, чтобы ты причинил себе вред.” (Slow down, bunny. We have all the time in the world, I can't have you hurting yourself.) His voice is gruff and hoarse as he speaks, the Russian easily translating in your head.
“Я знаю, но я так скучал по тебе.” (I know but I've missed you so much.) You whimper out, tears welling up in your eyes. He places a soft kiss to your forehead as he slowly guides you down, feeling your pussy stretch around him. He groans as he finally bottoms out, you fully seated on his cock. He takes a deep breath, letting his mind reset as you try to sit still.
Your grip on his shoulders loosens as the burn of the stretch slowly melts away, now fully enjoying that full feeling. You nuzzle your face into his neck, gasping slightly when you shift forward, feeling his tip brush that sweet spot that only he could seem to reach.
“There you go, just like that. You have to sit still for me ok?” His voice comes out gruff, almost strained like he is trying to control himself.
“Yes, sir.” You whisper, nodding into his neck as you grip at his back, trying to keep yourself still. You feel him grab his book and glasses. He unfolds them, placing them on his nose as he opens the book and begins to read aloud.
After a few minutes of his reading, you can tell that you’re no longer paying attention, instead focusing on how his voice sounds. It was slightly gruff as he read, his voice low and accent thick. It was intoxicating. Your brain started to go fuzzy as his baritone voice seemed to shove you deeper into subspace without even trying. You don’t even knowing you started to roll your hips until he sets his book down, gripping your waist tightly.
“Darling, I told you to sit still.” His voice comes out stern and rough, as if he's depending on you to behave yourself.
"M sorry, I can't. I've missed you too much." You whine out, starting to find a rhythm as you roll your hips against his. He groans, his grip on your hips loosening to allow you more freedom. He shakily places his bookmark back in his book, setting it on the nightstand as to give you his full attention.
"Alright, my love. Take what you want from me."
His words ring through your head. Take what you want from me. Those words light a fire in your stomach, starting to lift yourself up and down where you straddle his lap, now fully riding him. Your pace is shaky and slow, trying to find your rhythm you haven't needed in months. You let out a moan as you find that rhythm just as his tip finds that sweet spot inside you. You bring your hands up to cup his jaw, pulling him closer to you. Your breath fans over his face and he groans, rubbing soft circles into your hips beneath your shirt. His shirt.
Your lips press against his like you're on fire and only he can put you out, only he can be the one to extinguish these flames. He was the inly Ione you wanted. Sure many others had tried since he had left Madripoor but you always denied their advance, knowing that he was the only one who could make you feel like this. Only he could take the most wanted criminal in the United States and turn them into a moaning mess in his lap.
His lips meet yours with a returned hunger, his own hips starting to meet yours in their own movements, causing you to moan against his mouth.
"There you go, just like that, bunny. Take me like the good pet you are. Good job." He rasps out against your lips, the words making you pick up your pace. You could feel your stomach tightening, knowing your end is near.
He can feel your pace going sloppy and he grips your hips once more, guiding your movements so that he could make sure you reached your end first. That was another rule of his, you cum first. He never broke that rule and by god you were going to hold him to that. You tuck your face into his neck and let out soft pants, wetting his skin slightly.
"I know, my love. Let go for me. Come on." He says, almost as if he had read your mind. His words are the finally push you needed, your release hitting you like a strong wave. His grip tightens on your hips as your walls grip his cock like a vice, his groans becoming more primal as he tries desperately to hold on.
"Let go. Please, Baron. You've been go for so long." You cry out, feeling yourself coming down from your high but his pace never falters, fucking up into you with a new goal in his focus.
"Бля, дорогая. Ты всегда знаешь, что сказать." (Fuck, darling. You always know what to say.) He spits out, his head tossing back as he finally releases inside of you, his warm release coating your insides in a way you had missed.
You both pant as you come down, your body going limp against his as he held you close, pulling you into his chest. His hand goes back to rubbing your back as you sit with him still inside you, his chest heaving beneath yours.
"You did so good for me, my love. You always do." He praises, his accent growing thicker due to his exhaustion. You giggle against his neck, blushing at his praise like you always did. "How about we get cleaned up and take a nap hm? You need some rest, darling." The Baron states, smiling and kissing your head as you nod against his skin.
He always took care of you. He was always willing to do whatever it took to make you feel safe. Sure these methods of coping weren't the healthiest but he was willing to support you in whatever you needed. He was always going to protect you, even if it was from your own mind.
don’t mine me just casually waiting for my fav fanfiction writer to upload 😞🙏🏼
I’m working on it I swear. I’m leaning towards a part 2 to The Baron’s Bunny rn😭
And the award for Best Tits in Asgard goes to
Who should be the subject of my next fanfic?
Ghost (COD)
Spencer Reid (Criminal Minds)
~𝒯𝒽𝑒 ℬ𝒶𝓇𝑜𝓃'𝓈 ℬ𝓊𝓃𝓃𝓎~
Helmut Zemo x AFAB reader (gender neutral names) 18+
Warnings: Swearing, smut, choking, teasing, hand kink, fingering, oral (female anatomy used), established dynamic, brat taming, dom!zemo, use of petnames (Bunny, Darling, etc.)
Author’s Note:
I am back with another one! I feel like Zemo doesn’t get enough love as it is so I’m writing for him😤. I’ve had this idea for a long time and finally have found the brain power to write it. This is an 18+ fanfic, PLEASE TAKE THE WARNINGS SERIOUSLY! Enjoy!
The bright lights and loud music of the bar seemed to welcome you in. Wolfman’s Bar sits along a quiet street in Madripoor, if there is such a thing as a quiet street here. The entrance is in a back alley, needing strict access to even enter the bar. You step onto the concrete sidewalk, knocking firmly against the heavy metal door. The metal vibrated with the bass of the music, your attention on the man as he opens the door. He takes one look at you and steps aside, welcoming you in. A smirk rests on your lips as you saunter in, noticing many people turn and whisper to each other upon your arrivals you pull the maroon leather jacket off of yourself and drape it over the back of one of the barstools, taking a seat. The bartender comes over to you almost instantly.
“What can I get you, Jester?”
The name rolls off his tongue with a hint of fear and you can’t help but feel proud.
“A dirty martini should be fine.”
You watch as he quickly shuffles off to fulfill your request. As you sit there, you feel your phone vibrate in your back pocket, you pull it out to look at the text.
Carlos: Slight trouble with current mission, need 2 more days to fulfill your wishes.
You let out a frustrated sigh as you type back, your back straightening slightly.
Me: You have one day. If the money isn’t transferred by this time tomorrow, the hunt is on.
You let out a deep grumble as you hit send, sliding your phone into your pocket once more. You tap your fingers in your lap as you wait for your drink.
You suddenly feel a hand between your shoulder blades, your right hand flying to your thigh, pulling your handgun from it’s holster.
“Calm down, darling. It’s just me.”
His voice hits your ears like a drug, causing a shiver to run down your spine. You turn around to see him. Before you stand Baron Zemo, or at least what everyone here knew him as. You knew him as Helmut, being the only one who is allowed to use his first name.
“Welcome back, Helmut. What brings you to my domain?” You ask, a smirk settling on your lips as he sits on the barstool next to you. You clip your gun back into the holster that is strapped to your thigh. As you do so, the bartender sets your drink down in front of you and you nod a thanks at him before taking a sip.
“I had some time off so I figured I’d pay you a visit. I heard the Powerbroker has taken a step back huh?” He asks, his eyes never leaving you as you set your drink back on the bar top.
“Yep. With Selby dead thanks to you and the Powerbroker regaining a home in the US, that leaves Madripoor with no leader, at least until recently.”
As you speak, you can’t help the proud smile that falls on your lips. You run your fingers along the base of your martini glass, wiping off a smudge. You turn to look at him once more, noticing confusion evident in his eyes. You let out a soft laugh, seeing the wrinkles of his face deepen as he puts on a curious expression.
“What do you mean by that, darling?” Your smirk only deepens at his question, finishing your drink swiftly before standing from your chair and grabbing your jacket from the back of it.
“C’mon. We can talk more at my place. I got a nice house in high town.” You say as you start to walk out of the bar. You feel a hand on your wrist pull you back. As you turn you almost slam into his chest.
“You know the rules. Follow them.” His voice sounded deep and gruff in your ears, his tone commanding. A shiver runs down your spine as you remember what he told you during his last visit.
Never stray too far from me.
He chuckles deeply as he watches you process what he said. You swallow hard, nodding before turning and starting to walk towards the exit, slower this time. You look back at him every few seconds to make sure he is right behind you. As you exit the bar, he grabs your hand. The feeling of his hand in yours has your mind fogging a bit, the feeling so familiar yet from so long ago.
Once you reach your house, you bring him inside, shutting off the security system. As you flip the lights on, you see him taking off his coat, draping it over the black armchair in the foyer. You walk into the living space, glancing around as you light the fireplace. The warmth of it makes you hum slightly as you feel arms wrap around your waist. You look down and see the deep purple sleeves and aged hands that rest near your stomach. A smile breaks out onto your lips as you lean into his touch.
“I missed you, Baron.” You whisper softly, hearing a slight hum vibrate through his chest. You always knew that name affected him and now was no different.
“I missed you too, Bunny.” As the petname rolls off his tongue, you can feel your mind fogging again, just like it had earlier when he grabbed your hand. He always called you that. To him you were something delicate, something to handle with care. No matter how wild you could be, you were always his soft, delicate bunny.
You hear him chuckle as your eyes close, not having noticed you were now fully leaning into him, a blush creeping up your neck and to your cheeks. His voice is husky now, his accent thick.
“Did my Bunny miss my touch hmm?”He smirks as he speaks, you’re able to hear it in his voice. All you can do is nod, scared that your voice will betray you if you try to speak but he cuts you off in your actions.
“Ah ah ah, words, darling. You know how this works.” His tone becomes authoritative, causing you to shutter against him.
“Yes, I did.” You say, your voice coming out soft and obedient. It was as if your body was acting out of need, not want. You needed his hands on you, you needed him to keep speaking to you like this. A part of your brain flips, starting to drift in thought.
What would happen if I didn’t submit?
A small smirk crawls its way to your lips, slowly sliding yourself out of his arms. You turn to look at him, a mischievous glint in your eyes as you cross your arms over your chest. You watch as he looks you up and down, as if examining his prey. He seems to scoff slightly as you look at him, determination evident in your posture.
“Actually, I don’t need your touch. I am perfectly fine getting off by myself.” You spit out, smirking the entire time. You knew the words you spoke weren’t true, all those late nights whimpering his name into your pillow out of frustration. You watch as he raises his eyebrows, shaking his head as he smirks.
“Oh is that so, bunny? So you weren’t frustrated with my absence? You didn’t miss my hands tracing your body, feeling every inch of you? You didn’t miss me leaving marks on your thighs, owning every inch of you?” As he speaks, he takes steps closer to you, starting to walk you back against the wall. He towers over you now, your back flush against the wall as you realize he has trapped you just as he planned. “You didn’t miss the way my tongue felt as I licked that pretty pussy clean?” He whispers in your ear now, his voice deep and gruff. His words have you leaning your head back against the wall as you close your eyes, taking a deep breath to try and stay nuetral. You feel his hand wrap around your hip, his thumb digging into your side. God his hands always interested you. They were so callous and rough from his work, covered in scars from the countless fights he got into. Despite this, he always touched you with the softest touch. The veins that ran down his forearms and into his hands always had you mesmerized, remembering all the countless nights you spent tracing them when you couldn’t sleep. Though there was another side to those hands. The way they held a gun so steady, he could get a headshot from a mile away. The way that they ran down your sides and to your legs, spreading them open as they had many times before.
As your mind started to drift, you could hear him chuckle. You hadn’t noticed you had zoned out, blushing deeply when you noticed you are gripping his sweater. You blink a few times, slowly letting go of his shirt, clearing your throat.
“Still trying to be defiant.” He states it as a fact, not a question. The disappointed tone in his voice makes you falter slightly, like your brain is fighting itself. Without any time to prepare, his hand comes up around your throat, squeezing the sides in a tight grip as he presses you back into the wall harder. “Come on now. You know exactly where this would get you, pinned to the wall, unable to breathe. Hm? Did you want this? Did you plan this since you saw me? Planned to work me up so that I’d fuck you senseless hm?” His angry tone makes your head spin. You can’t tell if it’s the lack of oxygen or the way you can feel his hand sliding from your waist to the front of your shorts that is making you feel lightheaded. You can feel him undoing the button and zipper, anticipating his touch. You craved it. Him feeling how wet you are because of him, his finger teasing your clit until you are sobbing, begging him to fuck you. Yet as your mind reels, his hand comes to rest back on your waist, his grip on your throat loosening slightly. You gasp, feeling your lungs burn as you try not to cough. He smirks, chuckling at your red face as he runs his thumb over your cheek.
“Look at you. You’re so desperate aren’t you? It’s taking everything in you to not fall to your knees and beg me to take you right here right now. I can see it in your face. I can see it in the way your hips pressed against my hand when I undid your shorts. You need me so badly yet you won’t say it. You know the rules, Bunny. I won’t do a damn thing until you ask me to.” His voice is stern, a teasing tone tagging onto it as he reminds you of the rule you hated most. You hated asking him, vocalizing your filthiest desires seemed like a nightmare. You swallow hard, feeling his hand against the front of your throat. You clear your throat, your eyes glazing over as you look up at him, deciding that your current aches are far more important than the anxiety rising in your belly.
“Please touch me, Baron.”
Your voice comes out just above a whisper. You watch the smile spread across his face, a mischievous look falling over his eyes.
“There you go. You did such a good job, Bunny. Come on, let your Baron take care of you.” He speaks softly, his tone completely different than the stern one he held moments ago. He takes your hand, leading you over to the leather couch that sits in front of the fire. He takes a seat, spreading his legs open. “Take those shorts off for me, darling.”
You can tell it’s a command yet his voice comes out gentle. It’s as if he is silently letting you know you can back out. He was always doing that, making sure you were ok and comfortable, letting you know you could stop at any time. You nod softly as you slide the shorts down your legs, stepping out of them and kicking them to the side. You watch as his eyes fall over you, his tongue poking out to lick his lips.
“God… I missed looking at you.” He whispers out, breathless. You blush deeply, the red tint now spreading to your ears as he looks at you like a predator watching its prey. “Come here.” He motions with his fingers as he speaks, adjusting how he sits to sit back further on the couch. You walk to stand in front of him, your hands clasped behind your back. You feel your mind fully leave, any thoughts you had fog over and the only thing you can focus on is him.
He suddenly grabs your waist and turns you around, pulling you to sit In between his legs on the couch, your back flush to his chest. His cologne fills your nose like a drug, making you hum in delight. He lets his hands roam you, sliding down your back and around your waist, finally rest on your thighs. You can feel yourself squirming slightly, the puddle you sit in becoming uncomfortable.
“Do you want me to take care of you, Bunny?” He voice is soft in your ear, the words spilling from his lips like a prayer. There he goes again, asking you if you are ok without being direct.
“Yes, Baron. Please.” Your words come out broken, not expecting to hear yourself sound so desperate. When you speak, you feel his hands grip your thighs, gently spreading them apart.
“There you go. Let me control you, bun. Just relax ok? I’ll take good care of you.” His voice fills your ears as you feel his middle finger lightly drag up your underwear. As his touch reachers your clit, you jump in his lap, slamming your legs shut out of shock. You hear him chuckle as he pulls your thighs apart again, continuing his feather light touch over your underwear. “Look at you.” He presses his finger into the wet patch that had soaked through; “so wet for me already.” You nod quickly at his statement, feeling your hips rise, trying to chase his touch. Both of his hands grip your hips, slamming you back onto the couch. “Stay still.” His tone is stern, dangerous. The contrast in his gentle touch to his aggressive tone makes you whimper.
“Give into me, bunny. Come on. You almost had it, then you got too greedy. I will touch you however and whenever I want.” His tone is soft, gentle, as if trying to coax your body into doing as he says. You relax back against his chest, resting your head back onto his shoulder. “There you go.” His touch returns to your clothed pussy, rubbing gentle circles against your clit, feeling the wet spot grow as he does so. You can feel his shit eating grin against your head, placing a kiss to your forehead. You let out a breath you hadn’t noticed you had been holding, soft moans leaving your lips. You bite your lip as his speed and pressure picks up, your legs starting to shake at the shocks that run up your spine. As it begins to be too much, he withdrawals his hand causing you to whine in protest.
“Sshh bun, you’re ok, patience.” His tone is gentle once more, soothing your aching body back against his chest. You feel his finger slide your underwear to the side, his finger starting to run up and down through your wet mess. He hums in approval as he slowly traces around your entrance, feeling how your body quivers against him. You moan as he finally touches you, finally feeling what you have needed for the past 7 months. Finally having what you dreamed of every night.
He slowly pushes the tip of his middle finger into you, going in and out slowly, gently.
“You’re so tight, darling. Is all of this mess for me hmm?” His voice is teasing, slowly putting more of his finger into you with every push. All you can do is nod, moaning as he pushes his finger fully into you. “Your body missed me, darling. I can feel it in how your walls throb against my finger.”
His statement makes me shiver, feeling his other hand slide up your chest to your neck, gripping your jaw gently and pulling your head back so you look at him. As he does this, he rapidly picks up speed, sliding a second finger into you. “If you didn’t miss me, bunny, then how come your pussy is making a puddle on this couch for me hm? How come your body is shaking in pleasure as if you haven’t felt this in months hm?” His tone is still gentle, almost mocking you as you moan loudly against his neck. The pleasure mixed with his words makes you writhe in his lap, gasping as tears start to roll down your cheeks. It’s too much, the way he taunts you, teases you while fully handling your body in anyway he wished.
As it all builds, you feel your climax reaching its peak, desperately needing the release you had waited months for.
“Baron please! Don’t stop…. M-I’m close.” You gurgle out, your body shaking against his as he fingers you relentlessly.
“Come on, give it to me, Bunny. Show me how much you missed me.”
At his words, you cum, feeling your hips stutter against his hands as he continues at a brutal pace. You gasp and moan against his skin, eventually biting into his neck as you groan. As you come down from your high, he slows down, eventually pulling his fingers out of you. He examines the glistening digits, seeing your gaze on his hands. You watch as he slides his fingers between his lips, sucking them clean. The sight has you squirming, seeing him savor every inch of you. He pulls his fingers from his lips and wipes them on his dress pants. He smiles softly down at you as you look at him dazed, your head empty.
“Do you want me to clean you up, darling?” The question doesn’t process in your brain for a few seconds yet you find yourself nodding without hesitation. He picks you up, laying you on your back on the couch. You look down at him as he crawls down your body, sliding his tongue over the mess on your thighs. The feeling makes you gasp, shivering against the cold leather. You watch him as he makes eye contact with you, sliding his tongue up between your folds, watching you as you moan. His slides his tongue over your clit, noticing how you jump at the contact. He smirks against your pussy, licking at you slowly and gently. Once he decided it was enough torture, he sits up.
“Come here, Bunny. Let yourself doze off, ok? That was a lot after our long break hm.” He says, chuckling as you shakily crawl over, curling up against his chest. You can hear his heartbeat, the sound making you smile. He was really here, he was truly here to take care of you after so much time apart.
“I love you, Baron” the words come out of your mouth as you doze off, the last thing you hear before sleep takes you;
“I love you too, Bunny.”
~𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓣𝓻𝓾𝓽𝓱~
Bucky Barnes x Reader
WARNINGS: Angst and discussion of Bucky's/Reader's trauma, descriptions of death, themes of depression, swearing
Tags:
#buckybarnes #thewintersoldier #death #trauma #fanfic #xreader #tangst #revival #first post #love #mypoorbaby:( #Ijustwannahughim
Author’s Note:
This is my first post to this account! I haven’t written this type of stuff in a while so I apologize if I am a bit rusty. I love Bucky so much and wanna hug him so bad so I wrote about doing that to ease my delusions. I hope you enjoy! (Please ignore the grammar errors, it is 11:30pm when I am posting this)
Word Count: 2.1K
Your eyes can't seem to tear away from the security monitor, your gaze specifically on the silver glint you can see from the dim desk light he sits at. You lean back in your chair, letting out a deep sigh, your hand running over your face.
He shouldn't be allowed to do this. To just forget.
Your thoughts seem to drift as you feel frustration rake your body, your mind starting to cloud in anger. He was a criminal, an assassin, a killer and yet Shield just lets him run around like a commoner. Your anger seems to drift into logical thinking as it often did, your memory flipping back to all of the files you read on The Winter Soldier. After the corruption of Shield and the publication of Hydra's files due to The Black Widow during the destruction of Project Insight, you found yourself spending many late nights pouring yourself over the files on The Winter Soldier. Your colleagues didn't like to talk about him whenever you brought him up, almost treating him as if he's Bloody Mary, like saying his name would summon him. Though despite what he has done and the destruction he has caused, he always intrigued you. So much so you became his personal watcher. Security cameras and microphones were put up in his apartment before he relocated himself their permanently, making it so that his every move was watched without his knowledge.
You feel yourself drift back to reality, not knowing when you decided to get up from your desk. You find yourself walking out of the newly built Shield headquarters, turning to look at the building as you exit the doors. After the corruption, they immediately started rebuilding.
Time doesn't stop for them I guess.
The thought passes through your mind as you slide into your car, dropping your computer bag into the bag seat with a soft thud. You let out a deep sigh as you sit there, debating whether you were really going to do this or not. As you turn the key, the car engine roaring to life, you route your GPS to a certain Brooklyn apartment.
Pulling up to the building felt so strange. Sure you had driven by before and watched it nearly 24/7 but parking your car outside seemed like a bad idea. A shiver runs down your spine as anxiety settles in your stomach, feeling as though your heart jumped to your throat. You release a deep breath as you step out of your car, wrapping the jacket you had on around you tighter. As you approach the main entrance, your hands shake when reaching for the brass door handle.
When you enter the building, it was exactly as you expected. Single apartments on either side of you dictated by A and B, a staircase in the middle of the hallway that went up 5 floors, even the mirror hanging above the small table in the main hall seemed to be exactly where you expected it. The familiarity of the building brings a small sense of comfort to you it fully sinks in what you are about to do. Your footsteps seem to echo as you climb the stairs to the 4th floor, knowing he resided in apartment 4B. When you reach the 4th floor, you can feel the anxiety creeping up again, feeling as though you were going to be sick. You quickly take note of your exit routes before walking to the door with the brass plaque on it that read '4B'.
You take a deep breath before knocking against the wooden door, swallowing hard as you try to find what to say.
"Mr.Barnes? I um- I know you don't like visitors especially if it is unannounced but I just- I feel like we need to talk."
You speak, your voice coming out softer than you had wanted it, making you wonder whether he even heard you. You can hear his heavy footsteps approaching the door and stop just as he reaches it. After a few seconds of silence, you clear your throat.
"I'm going to be honest with you. I came here to try and figure out what happened. I have been angry for so long and I'm positive my anger is based in confusion and so I came looking for answers. I have been trying to figure it out on my own but it's never a good enough answer, you are my last resort."
Your voice slowly becomes a whisper as you ramble, not noticing just how much you were saying until it was already said. You hear a deep sigh on the other side of the door. When he speaks his voice comes out gruff and raspy, as though he hadn't spoken in years.
"You with Shield?"
His question has you sighing in defeat, expecting this to be the end of the conversation as you respond.
"I am but they aren’t aware that I am here right now. I came here strictly on my own business and accord."
Your response is hopeful as if trying to prove to him that he isn't your assignment. That he isn't your mission. You hear his footsteps and then the door of the lock squeaking open. The sound of the doorknob turning causes you to swallow hard, understanding that you were about to walk into his domain.
As he opens the door, your eyes fall to him, your lips parting slightly in shock. You had expected to see a man full fo hatred, covered in wounds and bruises. You had expected to see a killer open that door. Yet standing in front of you was a man. His hair was brown and to his shoulders, dark circles rested beneath his crystal blue eyes, a black hat was placed on his head, shadowing his face partially. He looked tired, maybe even burnt out. His appearance made you almost feel bad for him. You notice a glove covering his left hand, that same hand motions for you to come inside and for some reason, you do.
As you step inside, you look around the apartment. Newspaper covers the windows, the floor was worn, a small kitchen to your right and a mattress on the floor to your right, no sheets on it. You would’ve thought Hydra would set up their best soldier better before they got taken down. He stands next to the kitchen counter, examining you. As your gaze falls back to him, a shiver runs down your spine at the look in his eyes. It wasn’t predatory or dangerous, his eyes were full of curiosity and nervousness.
“You wanted to talk?” He asks, clearing his throat as if trying to remind you why you were here. Your attention snaps back to the task at hand.
“Yes. I um- I…” You trail off, feeling words die in your throat. How could you explain this to him without sounding weird?
“I have looked over your files, I know your history.” You notice him tense up as you speak, his jaw clenching and his posture straightening slightly. You continue;
“I’m not here to hurt you or pry too much but there are so many questions I have that I can’t get answers to except from you. I um- I had a brother. His name was Cody. He was the funniest guy you’d ever meet, he would tell stupid dad jokes and make sure everyone had a good time everywhere he went.” A dry laugh escapes your throat as you feel your chest tighten, the words coming to you easier now as you speak about someone so close to you. “He went to towns outside of what was Sokovia to help build hospitals after the Avengers destroyed the country. I went to visit him for the summer, taking time off work to go help him do this amazing service. When I got there, his project advisor said he hadn’t seen him so I went looking for him in the hospital he was working on at the time. I found him in the basement, shot in the chest and once in the back of the head. He was slouched against the wall opposite the door, sitting in his own blood. His eyes were still open…” As you describe the scene you had walked into, the memory floods back like a dam breaking. Tears well up in your eyes as your gaze drops to the floor, not wanting him to see you this emotionally vulnerable. You notice his stance has relaxed, his face dropping as you speak. He knows what’s coming, waiting for you to say it.
“He was assassinated by The Winter Soldier. The shots were so precise, I knew that’s who it had to be. No one would make it two clean shots. I knew how Hydra trained their soldiers. I contacted Shield to find out if my brother was in Hydra’s files and if I could bypass the encryption to see them. I was able to. He was listed as a false suspect.” The words choke out, your voice cracking as a son takes your body, placing a hand on the counter in front of you to hold yourself up.
“He wasn’t even a threat, Hydra misidentified him as their next target. He was killed for no fucking reason. He didn’t deserve that. He was doing such good work, hell he was doing better work than I could ever do at Shield.” You scoff out the last sentence, sniffle and wiping your face with your sleeve. Your gaze rises to the ceiling, as if trying to get the tears to stop. Your lips quiver as you try to calm down, seemingly unable to stop the cries that make your whole body quiver. You don't want to look at him, knowing you would fully breakdown, your knees threatening to give out. You hear him clear his throat, the sound coming out like choking. You blink quickly, bringing your hand up and wiping your eyes with your jacket sleeve. You sniffle, trying desperately to gather yourself before continuing.
"I'm not here to try and condemn you, I simply just want answers..." You hesitate as you speak, your voice coming out broken and soft, your tone shifting to be almost pleading with him. You slowly lift your gaze from the floor, your eyes landing on him. He stands on the opposite side of the counter from you, his hands resting on the wooden top. His head is bowed, his hair falling like a curtain in front of his face. You take a few deep breaths as you try to compose yourself. When you speak, your voice comes out more even;
"I just want to know if you remember him."
You watch as he slowly lifts his head. His voice comes out soft, barely above a whisper.
"I remember them all. It was like I was screaming to get out but I couldn't. It's like I was a witness to my own crimes that I couldn't stop." His voice breaks as he speaks. You notice the tears that fall down his cheeks, his eyes seeming to glaze over in pure grief. In those few sentences, your entire perspective shatters. The man before you wasn't a killer, Hydra made him that way. They scrambled his brain and controlled him like robot. He was nothing but a tool for them. You watch as he breaks down, beginning to pace circles in the small kitchen, trying to control his breathing. Your breathing begins to pick up and without thinking, you walk around to the other side of the counter, now invading his space even further.
"I'm so sorry..." He chokes out, his voice hoarse as he looks at you, his cheeks wet with tears. Almost like an instinct you wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him in to a tight embrace. Sobs rake his body as he practically collapses into you. You had been so stuck in your own grief and anger that you hadn't stopped to think about all that he has dealt with. Sure, his trauma doesn't diminish the loss he caused you as The Winter Soldier, but it gave you a new perspective as to how broken he is about it too. You find yourself running your fingers through his hair trying to soothe him. Tears run down your cheeks as you stand there, holding the shattered man in your arms. You feel his metal arm wrap around the small of your back, his other one wrapping around your shoulders, trying to pull you closer to him. His face is buried into your shoulder as you speak, your voice just above a whisper;
"I forgive you."
HEY POOKIE <3 (-freeze)
Hey Sweetie!!!!!! (-TAGZ)

