So I’ve been thinking for the past week or so now, and I came to a shocking revelation last night.
My muse for Ariadne was strong. I knew what I had planned, it was great. However Ariadne was in a sense a symbol of my depression and a way I could navigate it. I haven’t been struggling with depression for a little over six months now, but the Ariadne I have in mind has been entwined with my depression subconsciously since possibly the day I laid my eyes on her bio. That’s why my muse is so flaky and fleeting, why it hits so hard and then disappears almost a minute later. I love Ariadne to death, it’s why I’ve held her for over a year now (I missed my year anniversary but it was at the end of September) with a hope that I could turn things around for her with no avail. When I think of Ariadne, I think of my depression and it doesn’t equate or blend; my depression is no longer holding me back at the moment but it’s holding Ariadne back and while she does struggle with depression, hers and mine are not the same. It’s this weird conflicting weigh of overbearing negative thoughts that clash and tear her apart. I can’t continue as Ariadne until I can separate her from my own issues. I won’t make her unplayable, in case someone out there falls in love with her just as I did and can take better care of her. I hope if that doesn’t happen, that I’ll be able to apply for her again when I can accurately portray her. Until then, I will not be playing Ariadne. I will forever hold her dear to my heart for all sorts of reasons, but also because if it wasn’t for her I wouldn’t have ever applied and joined this place. She means the world to me, I just hope whoever picks her up can get whatever help they need from her just like I did.



















