I have nothing to say about anything important and everything to say about things that hardly matter. Arie from Los Angeles 34 (and counting)More fun then a barrel of monkeysAnd as sarcastic as most people can standBlackfolks AnimeK-popBody positive Funny shit
crazy how quickly dust accumulates. i should be allowed to put my trinkets on a shelf and not touch them and they remain in perfect condition forever. dont even get me STARTED on the inside of a computer. why do i have to brush your teeth. youre technology.
She kept her eyes closed and her breathing even. The ocean pounded the shore and she let the sound ease some of the tension she held in her shoulders. He had called her name and if she ignored him -
“Osha.”
She rolled her shoulders and neck and tried to direct her mind to stillness. The tide pools were relatively still. She wanted to feel the same way, just for a bit the emotions she let ebb in flow, she needed just a tiny reprieve. Warmth spread throughout her body, her eyes peeled open and she sighed.
“Why are you ignoring me?”
She turned and he was standing off to the side of her in the sand. Strands of his dark hair hung in his face and his eyes tracked across her features. She could feel the tendrils of his power caressing her while he stared. The warmth in her body spread and for the millionth time since she began this path her body…responded when her mind deemed the reaction not wise. Not wise because how could she trust his interest?
“I’m not ignoring you.” She answered. Her voice carried over the waves crashing. He cocked his head and the edge of his mouth quirked up in a smirk she knew well. She had to bear though his smirks multiple times a day and acted unaffected.
“Osha, don’t lie to me.” He pressed. She gave him a smirk of her own and shook her head.
“Lying to you would be a waste of time. We both know that. I heard you, I acknowledged you, now…what is it that you needed to tell me?”
Qirmir had been gone for the last few days. Though they both could sense disturbances through the force, good ole reconnaissance at nearby outposts produced information that was just as useful. He had checked in with a few of his sources to learn the movements of the Jedi in their immediate system. He was suppose to be sharing said information but instead here he was, playing another of his games. Toying with her so that she would have no choice but to give him all of her attention.
Truthfully as soon as his ship had touched down he already had it. She hated when he left her but until she became better at hiding her presence in the Force it made no sense for her to go.The idea of a helmet of her own had crossed her mind but then she felt silly for wanting it so badly. When she was alone it was easier to allow herself to hope…
All she could allow herself was daydreams and they were beginning to feel empty. It was good that he was back. She had missed him but she refused to tell him how missed he was, it would add to the pull that she steadfastly resisted.
He sighed and looked away to the waves, “nothing new to report. We stay hidden from our enemies thankfully.”
She released a breath she didn’t know she was holding.
“That’s good news.”
“It is,” he crouched and considered the water in the tide pools. “We won’t be able to stay hidden forever. Mae will make sure of that, she knows where this place is.”
This was true but time had gone on so long without a hint or whisper of her sister. Sometimes she thought she felt her, lurking in the in between when she felt for the Force. But the feeling would pass whenever she tried to concentrate.
“Can you feel her?” He asked. His dark eyes focused on her. The first time she had those eyes locked with hers she had felt such an onslaught of emotions. Fear had been one but it had receded quickly to be replaced by curiosity, respect, and more lust then she had ever felt in all of her life. It had taken everything to keep herself firmly set on the mission. She had been sent for a confession and nearly melted when he leaned in close to tell her how much she looked like Mae. The memory always brought the feeling of his breath brushing her face to mind.
The warmth she usually felt around him crawled up her neck.
“No.” She pronounced.
“Pity.” He whispered. Was it? She didn’t want to face her sister. She had a list of people she never wanted to see again, Mae rested near the top of that. Along with…Sol. She winced at the thought of her old Master and Qimir like always caught her discomfort. His eyes narrowed. He edged closer then crouched down besides her. His jaw clenched, “who are you thinking of Osha?” His voice was always a velvet wrapped blade when he had any hint of her thinking of Sol. Something about it made her heart beat harder, not in fear, but in anticipation. The need to defy his possessive annoyance thrummed through her.
“No one.” She whispered. The man you hate.
“I don’t like,” he reached his hand towards her, “when your mind strays to people it shouldn’t.”
She sat still and faced his barely contained annoyance. His fingers grazed her cheek and she felt the touch like all of his touches. A zing of electricity through her veins. It made her want to lean into his hand. But again she fought him with every bit of her concentration.
“I am the master of my own thoughts.” She held his eyes. “Not. You.”
She swallowed as his eyes narrowed further. She turned back to the ocean, to the waves and the tide pools. His hand lingered and she wondered if today would be the day that one of them broke. He was always more inclined to touch her when he had been gone. Almost as if he had to make sure that she was still with him. Maybe he got out amongst the stars and feared she had lied, that she really wasn’t going to stay with him in place of Mae. Osha liked the idea of her disappearance worrying him. She liked that he missed her, liked that he seemed to need her in his sights once he was back and maybe if she was less wary everything would be easy but her memory was too long. One man she loved had betrayed her in the worse possible way. How could she let another have a chance at it?
“Maybe,” she licked her bottom lip and his eyes tracked the action, “you are thinking of people you shouldn’t.”
For a moment neither of them moved. His eyes were like two sparking flints. He pulled his hand back slowly. Do you want me the way I want you?
The thought had her steeling her mind against him. She rolled her shoulders back and sighed.
“Think about it while you eat.” She pushed, “I made stew.”
Then she closed her eyes again, determined to balance her roiling emotions. She could not give into this pull between them. He often told her it was a waste of time.
“You have to let yourself feel Osha.” He liked to say, especially when he bested her over and over again. He was patient in his explanations, no matter how many times he needed to repeat it to her. There was no way to unlock her power without truly feeling everything the Jedi taught her to suppress.
But the idea terrified her. When she allowed herself, she felt so much. She felt out of control when she gave in and she couldn’t trust her feelings for Qimir. Partly because she could already sense how powerful their attachment could be and she refused to be weak to another man. He would have all the power if she gave in and became tied to him. There was no guarantee he would give anything in return.
She would need to find some other way to grow stronger in the Force. Her power was her own, even though Qirmir had helped her tap into it.
His help did not mean he didn’t have an ulterior motive. She had been fooled by Sol, made to think that she was the one who failed, when it had been he who failed her. The thought made her pinch her eyebrows together. The crashing waves, she clenched her teeth together and focused on the sound. She concentrated until the warmth from his power left her entirely to her meditation. A strange sense of unease trailed after him.
Osha preferred to keep her days more or less regimented. She woke up before the sun, ate a meal, meditated inside the cave, then drills with Qirmir (if he was on the island), then stretching after their drills. Once those tasks were done she checked her snares and fish traps for food then went about making sure their supplies were in good order. She had set herself on these tasks as Qirmir seemed content to only focus on their training and gathering information. She wondered how Mae had faired especially since she imagined her sister wouldn’t have the patience for something like supply inventory.
It was something to think about as she stretched. Their sparing a few mornings after his return felt odd to her but not odd enough that she wanted to dwell. He sat a small distance away from her, again she could feel him probing, trying his best to gain a little insight on where her mind was focused. At the beginning she wondered what he searched for, then she told herself the easy answer was weakness. Mae had betrayed him, of course he searched for another betrayal.
She bent forward touching her toes, she exhaled slowly, with the action. She stood straight then twisted her waiste one way then the other. Then she settled into a long lunge leaning her body forward on her bent knee, her eyes found Qimir's. He was smirking, head cocked, his hair falling a little into his eyes. He had forgone a shirt of this training session and she couldn't stop herself from admiring his chest. The usual heat crept from her face lazily down until it settled low in her belly. The heat from a sun they barely saw was making her think things she shouldn’t. Like what would it be like to sit in his lap and trace her fingers over his… She swallowed and tracked a bead of sweat that skimped down his stomach. He cleared his throat and her eyes snapped back up to his. The familiar pull started as he watched her.
"Does doing all that really help?" He asked. She shrugged and switched her legs for another lunge. He titled his head the other way and his eyes tracked from her feet up to her face deliberately. How can he make her feel this way just with his eyes? She swore she could feel his gaze like a touch. It was always like this, the attraction almost felt like a dare, a test. If she gave in, what would she get? Part of her knew that he wouldn't hurt her. His touches never felt like a threat, more like a promise.
"You're telling me," she leaned back sighing as her spine popped, "that you've never ever stretched after training? You never feel stiff?"
He shrugged and for a moment it looked like he was enjoying a good private joke. It took her a moment to realize her word choice before she felt a blush burning her cheeks.
“I do, but I use different…methods to deal with it.” He bit his bottom lip and she knew she was blushing harder then before.
He leaned back against the tree trunk, his eyes tracking her movements in what felt like satisfaction. Usually he left her during her stretching but today he waited. Tracked every bend and stretch she put herself into while she tried her best to ignore him.
"There's a freshwater pond not far from here." He stated, "the water would do wonders for your muscles I bet.”
She smirked and tried to calm the slight pounding of her heart.
"You've been hiding a pond from me?" She asked as she bent over to touch her toes. Her locs swung with the action and she mused that it might be time for a slight trim. When she stood straight again he was up. He shrugged and turned towards a denser part of the forest.
"Hiding?" He looked at her from over his shoulder, "it's not my fault you never thought to look."
She rolled her eyes but gathered herself to follow as he set off into the trees.
“You know, when I use to wonder the beaches you got all bent out of shape about it.” She reminded him as they trudged forward. He sighed and stopped, “you were wandering where the tide is treacherous, the beach is nothing but rocks and you weren’t agile enough to navigate it in the dark.”
“No faith in your student?” She asked. It was meant to be a tease but she wondered if he regretted taking her. He cocked his head in his favorite way and smirked at her.
“I’ll never regret taking you and I hope you never regret agreeing to stay.”
Then he was turning and starting to walk again, “that’s not something that should occupy your mind. Of all the emotions you need to fuel your power…regret is the one to avoid.”
Even when she tried her best to guard her thoughts Qimir had an unfailing ability to figure out what she was musing. It was her face, she needed to be better about leaving it relaxed and aloof.
“Osha?” He began.
“Hmm?”
“You waste so much time hiding from me. How can I train you in the Force my way if you won’t show me those emotions you stamp down?” He asked. Her first reaction was to deny. It would be the easiest thing to do. But it was easier to admit the truth without his dark eyes piercing her.
“It feels like, if I give in, if I admit a truth or two to myself, that I’ll be in the same position as I was with the Jedi.” She didn’t say Sol’s name but he was all she could picture. Sol looking at her in disappointment, shaking his head when she couldn’t find stillness in her thoughts.
“How do I know that if I fail in your teachings I won’t be thrown away again?” He stopped walking and she nearly walked right into him.
“I’m not able to let you go.” He said simply. She stared at his back almost as if she could find answers in his scars. She hated the idea of him hurting the way this wound must have. The Jedi had done it, she somehow knew it for a fact. They threw them both away. But now he was telling her he wouldn’t Not able to let her go?
She swallowed and tried her best not to let hope fill her chest. He meant he couldn't let her power or potential go. That's all she was to men in the galaxy. An anomaly, a swirling mystery in the Force that drew people in but it would always be a draw with the desire to possess her. There wasn't anything interesting about Osha the girl, Osha who failed to be a Jedi and became a Mektek. Qimir was like everyone else, to expect differently would only bring pain. She tried to breath in more resolve but there of course was a treacherous part of her heart that whispered he wanted her in every way he could have her. And not Osha the power but Osha the woman.
"Your mind is so busy." His voice was low. Barely high enough to hear over their steps though the forest.
"I'm-"
"Don't lie, please keep telling me the truth Osha." He warned. They broke through the trees together and suddenly were on the shore of a very calm looking pond. It was bigger then she thought it was going to be. Closer to a lake then a little swimming hole. The water was still, fed by a small rocky waterfall across from them. The sun shone down on the water in a rare clearing of the clouds and for a moment the scene was too tranquil for her to disturb it with words. She felt pulled towards the water and before she could think too hard about the action she began to remove her clothing. He had seen glimpses of her body, and she had seen more then a few glimpses of his, a body was a body she told herself. She still blushed when she finished folding her things and felt his eyes on her back.
"Osha?"
She ignored him and took two steps into the water. It wasn't as cold as she thought it would be, her arms raised reflexively over her breasts as goosebumps raised on her skin. A few more steps in and the ground dropped off, her legs kicked in automatically to keep her head above the water line. It didn't take him long to follow. She heard the splash of his body entering. Soon they were treading water side by side. He had dipped his head, his wet hair plastered back away from his face.
"Osha?"
She sighed and tried to think of what to say. He wanted more truths and she couldn’t keep avoiding him forever. Eventually her training would hit a wall, logically she knew not giving into her feelings would be much like the anchor that stopped her from completing her Jedi training. Qimir's eyes were pleading as he used his arms to swim closer to her.
"Can I show you something?" He asked. Her brows scrunched in confusion, she looked around in an effort to see what he could possibly show her. His signature smirk appeared again, one side of his mouth tipping in amusement.
He swam right up to her, close enough that she felt his movements in the water, legs kicking close to her own, arms doing the same movements.
"Depends on what the something is?" She hedged. She still felt the need to speak softly, the incredible quiet of the clearing felt like it needed preserving. They shared glances, his eyes brushing all across her face before landing on her lips.
"I want to provide some reassurance." He explained He licked his own lips before his eyes flicked back to hers "humor me." He pushed. A trick? A trap? Some kind of test? She took a breath and let herself trust him if only for a moment. He felt her acceptance, his smirk growing into a full blown smile.
"Close your eyes and float on your back."
Insead of being embarrassed about her exposed body, she did as he said. She closed her eyes and let her body float in the water belly button pointed to the sky like she was taught. Her awareness of their presence in the force sharpened, her breath came slower, and she sank into the quiet further. He held a hand on each of her temples, the Force crackled through his fingers and suddenly she was seeing.
A shop.
A hand turning a flower bulb left then right before her eyes tracked to the doorway of whatever building she was in. No, not Osha. This was a memory, Qimir's memory. The shop from their first meeting, any minute she would walk through the door and they would have the exchange that changed everything. Anticipation filled her whole body, this is what I felt…
His voice drifted through the memory, distinct over the sounds from the street.
What he felt? His heartbeat picked up and then there she was. A cloak over her locs and a very pained attempt at nonchalance on her face.
Breathtaking, perfect…
She saw herself through his eyes and felt all the emotions he had to keep quiet. They were like the waves on the beach, pounding through his body in lulls and crests.
Devotion, longing, burning curiosity, awe…
“Qimir,” she whispered his name and slowly felt herself returning to her body. She opened her eyes and found him staring down at her.
“That was just me seeing you Osha.” His eyes were so open, she must have been looking into his soul. The dark place he kept his most precious vulnerabilities.
“You could have been completely Force blind and I would have still wanted you.”
He rubbed his fingers into her scalp in circular motions.
“The fact that you are a literal shinning star in the Force is just a bonus Osha, it just means our connection will be all the stronger.”
She swallowed and tried to will the tears away, they streaked down the sides of her cheeks and into the water.
“You’re mine Osha.” He enunciated each word, she felt them throughout her body bringing peace to her spiraling thoughts. All the worries that he only would want her for power settled.
“Can you accept me? Can I be yours?”
Again the eyes like a window to his soul, she fell into them and felt like she was drowning. Waves of feeling rolling through and over her, she took them and understood there was no turning back now. She swallowed and began to nod, “you’re mine.” She said in a choked whisper.
“I will not throw you away and I will not let you fail Osha.” He pronounced.
“How can you promise I won’t fail?” She asked. He leaned down, shifting her locs to the side and pressed his lips to her forehead.
“Because there is no one way to manipulate the Force, stop holding onto the Jedi’s lies.”
They were moving, he was guiding their bodies closer to shore so he could stand. He gathered her in his arms, wet skin against wet skin and sat with her in his lap. She faced him and let her surrender fill her heart. It didn’t feel like she was losing, didn’t feel like her will was being ignored. She felt…relief.
“If one way doesn’t work we’ll just find another way, Osha, it’s simple.” His hands traced down her arms, the movement deliberate and sure, “the first step is you allowing yourself to feel it all. Emotions are your source,” he leaned forward. They held each other’s eyes, her breath hitched as his lips pressed into her sternum right between her breasts. The touch set a slow burning fire through her blood. She wrapped her arms around his neck, her hands settled into his hair. She tugged gently and a shudder racked him, his eyes were half lidded.
“Thank you.” She pressed her forehead to his, “for being so patient with me. I just- “
“You don’t have to thank me. After what we’ve been through…I would have waited for as long as it took.”
His hands traveled up then down her back. It was Osha who tipped her chin and touched her lips to his. The simmering warmth her body had been steeping in, exploded, shot through all of her limbs in such an alarming blast she could only hold on. He kissed her back as if he was born to do it. His hands moved from her back to framing her face. He nipped at her bottom lip then groaned when she tasted him with her tongue.
“Do you know how long I’ve imagined this?” He pulled an inch away and spoke while he pecked her lips with little kisses. She smiled, “no, how long?”
“From the moment you said that you wanted to see me.” He chuckled at the memory of her forced delivery, “I wanted to kiss the nervousness right out of you.”
He dove in again tasting her while he rubbed his thumbs on her cheeks. He tipped her head up then kissed and licked at her neck. She gripped his head and pulled him closer into her skin. Her hips rocked and she felt his hardness tucked right against her stomach.
“I need…I need…” She whimpered when his mouth finally enclosed one of her nipples. He sucked and she writhed hard in his lip.
“I know what you need,” he nipped then moved to her other breast. She had flings before on didn’t ships. But a quickie on a cot in a space freighter this was not. He pulled slightly away despite her trying to hold him to her body. His hands moved to her waist and he leaned further back so he could look at her perched on his lap.
“Can I -”
“Yes,” she answered frantically, “yes, just please, I need you.” She rocked again on his lap, her wet center slicking down his length teasing them both. He hissed his fingers finding the bundle of nerves right above where she needed him most. He rubbed in frantic circles, her back arched and she cried up at the sky. She couldn’t stop herself from shuddering but she needed more. Her body ached for him empty where she needed him to fill her.
The fingers circling her clit dipped gently into the wetness at her entrance.
"Mmmm, so wet for me." He said softly. Her hips canted into his touch and she sobbed when she felt two of his fingers finally filling her channel. She had never felt so out of control, the clearing, the water it all felt like another world. Her world had shrunk to his fingers moving back and forth inside of her. She was only panting breaths and a thrumming energy that climbed higher and higher. Distantly she supposed she was speaking, calling to him, whimpering, pleading. She moved with him urging him faster, soon soon soon she would tip all the way over the edge. She clenched around him and he murmured a curse into her skin. He leaned forward and captured one of her nipples again.
"Oh god." She cried.
Let. Go.
His voice echoed in her mind and then he bit her nipple twisted and hooked his fingers inside of her and she saw stars.
Osha shook and whimpered in his arms while her vision hazed around the edges and her cries became hoarse.
"Your mine." He kissed all along her chest. His own breaths were sawing out of him, she wondered if it would always feel like this? Would he always be able to make her body sing?
"Yours." She agreed, she was coming down from her high, reason returning by inches. She looked down into his eyes and saw the same awe he had showed her in his memory. He looked at her like she was a goddess, his goddess. He removed his fingers and she held his eyes as he set them into his mouth to taste her.
“You taste good.” He observed and a blush crawled up her chest. She looked away and tried not to let his statement cause her too much satisfaction. His hand wrapped around her throat gently, his head tilted and he smiled up at her.
“Really not the time to act shy.” He chuckled, “especially since we’re nowhere near done.” He gave her throat a gentle squeeze.
“Oh yeah?” She sounded breathless but her voice didn’t waver even as her heart pumped in anticipation.
“Yeah Osha.” He pulled her closer for another kiss, his other arm was busy. He wrapped his arm around her, “up.” He whispered as he pulled her up to her knees. She felt like she was floating anticipation jamming through her veins like a drug. He was a man possessed, his eyes burned into hers. He’s mine. The thought played on repeat until he began pulling her down. All her thoughts fizzled out when he began to breach her. The lower she sank the more gone Qimir looked, she finally sat all the way onto his lap and his eyes rolled back.
“Fuck..”
She was full of him and it felt like heaven. There were no more spiraling thoughts no worries, just two souls joined together in the sand.
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