Pissy pricks

.. no, not male genitalia covered with urine. Get your mind out of the bucket. You can always talk to me.

[jaubaius]

My morning condition

[jaubaius]

This little crab casually clearing the sand from his eyes

[just-shower-thoughts]

Blind people must save a lot on electricity.

[cynopansy]

They do actually!

[mauve-moth]

I had a blind professor, last semester, and I swung through his office to make up an exam. It was a while before I knew he was in there because he was sitting with the lights off. I finally went in, apologized, and took the exam by the light of a nearby window (which was fine). Forty-five minutes into dead silence he panicked and yelled in this booming voiced, “WAIT, YOU CAN SEE!!!” before diving across his desk to turn on the lights. I’m sure he was embarrassed but I thought it was endearing and it highlighted a large aspect of disabled life that I hadn’t previously considered.

[hotmolasses]

Sort of relatedly I once had professor who was deaf, but she had learned to read lips and speak so she could communicate easily with hearing people who didn’t know sign language. One day she had gotten off topic and was talking a little about her personal life, so that one of the students said “Oh, I know, I grew up in Brooklyn too.” 

She stared at him for a long time and then said “How do you know I’m from Brooklyn?”

And he said “You have a Brooklyn accent.”

She said “I do?” and the whole class nodded, and then she burst out laughing and said “I had no idea!  The school where I learned to speak was in Brooklyn.  I learned by moving my mouth and tongue the way my teachers did.  So I guess it makes sense that I have their accent, I just never thought about it.”

[wrote-my-own-deliverance]

My moms a sign language interpreter, and she’s signed with people from all over the US. According to her, when she signs with people from the south they sign with a “drawl.” They have slower hand movements and exaggerate certain parts of the sign. People from the Midwest sign very fast and people from the south sign very slow.

So we were at a restaurant once and my mom started interpreting for someone who was trying to order and she was like “oh you’re from the south!”

And they were like “how did you know that?”

And she said “you sign with a drawl.” And they were really surprised that it came through that much.

It’s really interesting that even when not speaking verbally accents and heritage come through.

[urbanfantasyinspiration]

Humans are so fucking fascinating

[kneesocktango]

thanks steam

[girlballs-archive]

someone needs to invent reverse cornflakes. i want to eat a cereal that gives me a demonic erection and inflicts upon me an insatiable lust

[girlballs-archive]

congratulations for writing the funniest and also most correct tags on this post

[guooey]

YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES

[memewhore]

[rt0no]

[bastard-unlimited]

it took me like a full minute to realise that this was a post that was blocked with my own tumblr filters and not that “this post may contain reddit and american” was the funny post I was like wtf why can’t I reblog this

[lindendragon]

Why do you have that blacklisted in the first place? Seems oddly specific

[bastard-unlimited]

because I hate americans and redditors next question

[fairycrowbar]

Don’t wanna be an American Redditor

[shittyreblogville]

[ryebreadgf]

how did you learn to write well?

well first you have to be a very sad child

[returnsandreturns]

i made my character a human fighter who’s a housewife/empty nester seeking adventure and wholesome fantasy violence after discovering that her husband is having an affair

is this……

is this how you dungeons 

is this how you dragons

[thegoodqueertheywarnyouabout]

im sorry, but is her age “it’s rude to ask a lady her age”?

[returnsandreturns]

yes. also her weight.

[fishbizkit]

this is a million percent how you dungeons AND dragons

[funnytwittertweets]

[freshwaterbear]

I love mangoes your honor

[catchymemes]

[steve-the-evets]

[nateswinehart]

You gotta have a plan…

[crossed-quills]

This is the mist motivational and inspiring thing I’ve seen all goddamn week

[moonlight-and-mantles]

This is incredible.

[holmesianscholar]

Rational thought is Gandalf and I love this

[my-darling-boy]

Really just Not Feeling Great today who wants to see a little pirate

[my-darling-boy]

Okay here he is

[my-darling-boy]

Someone’s asked if he has a crew

[teaboot]

I’m a bag of anxiety but also dense as fuck which is a great combo in social situations because when I screw up it plays off as sheer confidence

[teaboot]

“Eating a sandwich,” I answer happily, to what seems to be a positive reception. I finish my lunch and leave the cafeteria. Halfway to class I realize that junior kid meant “what’s your major at this institute,” not “what brings you to the cafeteria” when he asked what I was doing here. He laughed at my dry humor, thinking my jape funny. Little does he know, I am but a witless fool. I will now stress binge an entire loaf of pretzel bread and sleep for twelve hours