Memento Mori

clenn | 25 | she/her | this is where i put all the cool rocks i find outside

[roaldamundsen]

never ask a woman her age a man his salary your mutual how late it is in her timezone when she starts posting about that bisexual man

[roaldamundsen]

?

[roaldamundsen]

can people stop saying insane things on this post

[ndnbutch]

the author’s thinly veiled nothing #notwriting #straightupnotwritingit

[limbel]

NEVER HEAL indulge in self sabotage romaniticize self isolation ALWAYS QUIT reject your potential never break the cycle let the curse win

[tlirsgender]

Does anybody know if you ever stop being 11 years old and lonely

[tlirsgender]

Like you can stop being 11 years old & you can stop being lonely but it seems being a lonely 11 year old might be a lifelong affliction

[billiamdoor]

I can be trusted with the fictional character. I Promise.

[billiamdoor]

I lied. Fuck it’s dire y’all. It’s Bad.

[sailermoon]

this is how new yorkers @ mamdani

[sailermoon]

[kosmogrl]

[glowingghosty]

[generic-internet-name]

talking like point-and-click game narration to the bugs in my room

[generic-internet-name]

you can't get out that way!

[generic-internet-name]

that's not very helpful.

[generic-internet-name]

maybe the open window will help.

[generic-internet-name]

try the open window instead.

[forgottenbones]

[dickstolebyanalien]

snowstorm that makes you old

[dickstolebyanalien]

baby its old outside

[charl0ttan]

i really cant age

[catlips001]

FUCK. honestly just FUCK. We missed a very important day yesterday.

[battebitch-deactivated20200410]

what was yesterday, cat?

[catlips001]

[orcarriagesthatwork]

I think about this cake every day

[tizzymcwizzy]

sorry for exposing your tags but this is hilarious

[microsuedemouse]

OP, I hope you don’t mind me making an addition:

When I turned 17, we ordered a cake at the grocery store for my party, as we’d done many times before. If you wanted something written on the cake you’d write it into a section of the order form. We requested, very simply, “Happy Birthday Courtney”. When we went to pick it up the day of the party, this is what we got.

The bakery employees had absolutely no explanation for this. The order form, attached to the box, very clearly did not contain any of those extra names. Whomever had done the writing was no longer in, so there was no one to ask how this had happened. The fact that the name ‘Juan’ is misspelled bewilders me to this day. (I’ve never seen ‘Miley’ without the E, either, but it’s believable that someone might spell it that way.) Did this cake slip in from an alternate universe where I’m one quarter of a set of Hispanic quadruplets? Dyslexic Hispanic quadruplets, maybe?

This cake became the focal point of my party. At least two of my friends regularly called me ‘Courtney Mily Jaun Pablo’ for years to come. My siblings and I still reference it sometimes, eleven years later. It is probably the funniest thing ever to occur at any birthday celebration of my life, and may well remain so for the rest of my days.

I love a botched cake.

[helenarth]

one time me and some pals spotted one of those big cookie cakes in a store. it was done up with red icing and little X's for kisses and in the middle it said

No One Like You

now, it took us a while to realise it meant "(there is) no one like you". at first, we all parsed it as a botched "no one like(s) you"

for ages after when we'd wind each other up we'd declare "NO ONE LIKE YOU ☹️👎"

[itseasytoremember]

I just feel like it's important to post the Sacred Texts

[pjackk]

FIND.ME.THAT.TWANK.

[northernolddragon]

[wolfsong-the-bloody-beast]

[depsidase]

[whiteshakira]

1 time i watched this youtube video called "every time a person of color has had a line in the harry potter movies" & it was only like 10 minutes long but also the "person of color" with by far the most lines was this shrunken head with a jamaican accent

[do-not-u-dare]

”Explain yourself” followed by “stop making excuses” has always baffled me because the fuck you think explaining myself is????