Ari Abrams. Swagnificent queen of all that's fly. Catch me at 30 Rock rocking the page blazer like Kenneth Parcell before me, behind the camera of The Untitled Abrams project, or on Pokemon Go. Team Targaryen, yo.
I know everyone’s, like, apologizing for things not working out, but I’m not gonna. We’re way better off as friends, right? Thanks for dating me, tho. Super cool of you. Good for the ego.
I guess I should probably say Happy Thanksgiving or some shit? I haven’t done shit for today. Kinda forgot about it amongst work or whatever.
Ok, but how did you manage to ignore/avoid the constant onslaught of T-day advertising? You’re, like, Don Draper’s nightmare. Or humanity’s last hope to resist capitalist mind control. Either/or.
Uhh ‘sup? And thanks in advance for all the sex, yo. Hope it’ll be the bomb diggity for you too. Cause I can, like, 100% guarantee it will be for me. Js.
If you’d like to participate, simply reblog this post. And please remember to send asks and not just answer them! If, say, 10 people reblog it, each of them should have received at least 10 asks by the end of the week. It’s easy enough to open it on the main blog and just go through the reblog list!
Send one (or more symbols) to make the character write an open letter to…
😍Dear crush…
😘Dear last person I kissed…
😗Dear first person I kissed…
🙄Dear person I find annoying…
😱Dear person I’m scared of…
🤕Dear person I hurt…
🤥Dear person I’ve lied to…
💩Dear shithead…
👶Dear child/future child…
👨Dear father/father figure…
👩Dear mother/mother figure…
💍Dear future spouse…
🐀Dear former friend…
🐾Dear pet…
🐣Dear younger self…
🌟Dear hero…
🔥Dear person I want to have sex with…
🍎Dear favorite teacher…
🍒Dear person I first had sex with…
🍅Dear person who makes me blush…
🥔Dear person who makes me feel like a potato…
🌶️Dear person I find super hot…
🍻Dear best friend…
💌Dear person I love…
💔Dear ex…
💚Dear person I’m jealous of…
❣️WILDCARD! Dear ______…
Britt: But what happens when you know they care, and they say they care..but that's just not enough?
Britt: Certainly not me. Not at all, Ari. Not at all.
Britt: You are doing a lot of things, it seems. No too many things I hope.
Britt: Me, well apart from learning to love myself before anything else? Dancing, teaching, YouTube-ing, and dipping a toe back into the world of auditioning again. Just working on myself.
Ari: i mean i guess maybe they care, but not as much as u do
Ari: which sucks. i'm sorry, britters
Ari: just enough things. becoming the next scorsese ain't an easy job
Ari: awesome. how's auditioning?
Ari: and i 100% support workin on urself. britt x britt is my otp
🏝️ If I had to be stuck on a deserted island with one person, I’d choose you
I’d be like, totally useless on a deserted island so I appreciate it, K-Dawg. I’d try to make up for the lack of Netflix by putting on one-woman shows for you instead.
If you’d like to participate, simply reblog this post. And please remember to send asks and not just answer them! If, say, 10 people reblog it, each of them should have received at least 10 asks by the end of the week :)
Meme Monday: Secret confessions 2 - Electric Boogaloo!
Send one or more symbols (anonymously or not!) to confess…
🏁 You make my heart race.
🆚 I’d pay to watch you fight ______.
🔆 You brighten up my days.
⏩ I think we have a future together.
⛔ No entry. You know what I mean.
⚠️ I think you’re dangerous.
🎶 When I listen to ______ I always think of you.
💈 I’d wax my cooch for you.
💭 Here’s a thought I’ve had about you: _______
💤 Here’s a dream I’ve had about you: ______
🖤 I’d share this fetish with you: ______
💜 I’d love to leave a (sexy) bruise on your ______ (or the reverse)
💛 You’re my BFF
💚 I’m jealous of your relationship with ______
💙 You leave me cold
💗 I have growing feelings of ______ for you
💕 I wish we were a couple
💔 You hurt me in this way: ______
💘 I have a serious crush on you
⚖️ If there was justice in the world, we’d be ______
📜 I’ve written in my diary about you
🕯️ I want to take you out on a romantic dinner by candlelight
📺 I want to Netflix and chill with you, and by chill I mean sex
🎞️ If our relationship was a movie, I’d want it to end ________
🎁 If I could have anything in the world, I’d have: ______
🎀 The most beautiful thing about you is: ______
🌡️ The hottest thing about you is: ______
🗺️ I’d travel the world with you
🌠 When I think of you, I wish ______
⛵ I ship you with ______
🚲 I think you’re ACup’s bycicle.
🌇 I want to watch a sunset with you
🌅 I want to wake up with you
🏝️ If I had to be stuck on a deserted island with one person, I’d choose you
🏜️ You give me a case of the Sahara crotch
🏹 If I was Cupid I’d shoot you and ________ with my arrows
🎬 I think this part of your personality is just an act: ______
🎻 I’m sorry for ______
🎤 I’d sing a duet with you
🎣 There are many fish in the sea but I kinda like you best
🎨 I think you’re a work of art
🤼 I want to wrestle you. In a naked way.
🏊 You get me wet
🍽️ I want to eat you out
🍻 I want to buy you a beer
🍯 You’re super sweet
🌮 I want your taco. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge
🌭 You’re a hot bitch
🥞 I want to eat you for breakfast
🍅 I’m too shy to tell you how I feel about you
❗ Wildcard! Enter your own confession.
❓ Wildcard! Combine with any of the above symbols to turn the confession into a question that the asked must answer. (For example: ❓ 🏁 would mean ‘Who makes your heart race?)
WHO: Ari Abrams & Kitty Wilde [ @awildecard ], ft. Evie Miller
WHEN: Evie’s birthday party
WHERE: Evie’s apartment
WHAT: Awkwardness, tbh. Just lots of that.
Ari
“Y’know, in a way, I’m like, your very own Drogon.” Ari’s kinda tipsy. Just kinda. It’s a party and she doesn’t drink much, so whenever she drinks even just a bit, she gets a bit tipsy pretty fast. But it’s fine, cause that’s what parties are for. For getting kinda tipsy, and for wheeling the birthday girl around like she’s a badass Targaryen dragon. Rawr, etc. “Wheee!” Well, that’s not super dragon-like. But it’s whatever. She can be a badass dragon anyway.
“Mmkay Drogon needs a dorito break, Khaleesi.” She sort of nudges Evie off her lap, but in a nice way cause she’s her friend and Ari loves her. She’s not horse-faced at all, where’d Kitty come up with that, anyway? She’s obviously friend-faced. “We can go find you a Jon Snow later.” Ari chuckles as she pushes her chair away from her friend, cause she knows Evie is about as interested in having a love life as Ari herself is. Which is to say, super interested in theory but like, totally not into putting herself through the endless pain of making it happen.
“Heck yes, come to papa.” She practically sing-songs, wheeling herself to the snacks table and reaching for the dorito bowl that’s totally calling her name. Except- “Aw, man!” Someone left the bowl too far away from the edge of the snacks table, and she can’t reach. Luckily for her, Kitty is right there, and Ari’s face lights up at the sight. Cause she can hand her the doritos. Of course. “Hey, K-Dawg. Can I get a hand?”
Kitty
She’s not jealous. It’s not in her nature. And even if it was (a very real possibility she’ll never cop to), she’s certainly not jealous of horse face. And the way Ari is gleefully wheeling her around -- buzzed on the vodka she’d brought to share with her.
No, she’s not jealous. She just thinks’s it’s ridiculous for a woman of her age to be acting so childish. (Though if she like falls off and breaks her nose or something, Kitty supposes it won’t be the worst thing to happen). Honestly, can’t she find someone her own age to play with? The guy from the Six Flags commercial is probably free.
Whatever.
It's not a thing, her eyes are always green thank you very much! She’s just glaring because the lighting is poor, obviously.
At least that’s what she tells herself when Ari rolls up to her and asks for the Doritos. She doesn’t even try to hide the eye roll. “Why don’t you ask your Khaleesi to help you?” she says pointedly, even as she reaches for the bowl and shoves it a little harder than necessary in Ari’s direction - she’s not a monster, she’s not going to keep a girl from her snacks, even if she is unreasonably annoyed. Annoyed. Not jealous. Becuase she’s definitely not that.
Ari
Dayum. Kitty’s mad. Ari’s not like, the best at reading body language or anything, but even she can tell Kitty’s mad. There’s the near-shoving of the bowl, and the stank eye, and the way she says Khaleesi, like it’s a bad word or something. Which don’t even make no sense, man. Khaleesi is, like, the best. And she knows Kitty loves her some Daenerys T. So her problem is clearly with...
“What’s poor E-Mill done to ya, K-Dawg?” She munches on a Dorito, pleased to find it’s her beloved cool ranch flavor and not tex mex. Don’t get her wrong, she likes all doritos, but cool ranch is like, the Khaleesi of doritos. “You’re lookin’ at her like she’s Daenerys and you’re, like... Cersei, or something.” Ari grins, clearly teasing. “Told ya you’re a Lannister.” She pops a dorito in her mouth and winks at Kitty, cause she’s kinda tipsy and being kinda tipsy makes her do stuff like winking. Alcohol. Not even once.
“No, seriously, tho. You all right?” She tries to look concerned, but the eating is kinda making it hard so she swallows and leaves the bowl on the table with the rest of the snacks. Concerned face. Right. “It’s a party!” She shimmies her shoulders, hoping it’ll help Kitty crack a smile or something. “What’s botherin’ you, Your Grace?”
Kitty
Ari’s pretty tipsy. Kitty can tell because, well, Ari doesn’t drink often so it doesn’t take a lot. And it’s kind of cute if she’s being honest, but like -- in a way that only makes her annoyance grow. Because she’s happy. Ari’s happy wheeling horse face around her stupid party, and she doesn’t get that a lot. That carefree drunken silliness.
And who is Kitty to ruin that with her -- somewhere in the back of her mind she shudders -- feelings.
This is why it’s better when she doesn’t have any. Why she’s taken to shacking up with people she doesn’t have a ton for, and who definitely don’t have any for her. Becuase feelings make you vulnerable. And Kitty’s never been good at that.
“Nothing,” she shrugs, forcing a smile as if to prove her point -- see look how fine I am! “I’m a Lannister.”
Ari
Lies. Shaaaame. If she had a little bell, she’d start going ding ding ding while chanting ‘shame’ after Kitty cause that was a lie and it wasn’t even a good one. So Ari rolls her eyes dramatically and then pretends she’s hitting Kitty with a switch, complete with sound effect and everything. “You are not fooling me.” She points to her own eyes and then at Kitty, in the universal gesture for ‘I’m watching you’. At some point she stopped being Jaqen and started imitating some kind of Mr. Miyagi type character instead, but it’s whatever, cause she’s being serious.
Kinda.
“C’mon. You can tell me. I’m Ari!” Friendly, inoffensive Ari with the open ears and nothing else. Friend, friend, friend. Yep. A friend. That’s what she is. Not friends, however? “You havin’ Puckertroubles?” Ari likes both Puckergals, don’t get her wrong. They’re pretty cool. Hot and tall, and like... yeah. Cool. Not just friends, those two. They’re...def on a diff level. She doesn’t mind them. She just kinda minds their relationships with Kitty.
In a friendly way.
Sure.
Kitty
She’d hate Ari right now, to be honest. If like, that was a thing a person could actually do. Hate Ari. She’s pretty sure it’s scientifically impossible. She’d ask Miss Science Queen, but honestly, she’s pretty sure she’ll blurt out like five offensive things before she gets to the question, so it’s better this way.
But the point is, Ari makes it impossible. So while it’d be a hell of a lot easier to totally hate her for the feelings she didn’t ask to have. She can’t.
She also apparently can’t lie about it, which is also a total drag. What’s the point of being a hot southern Christian gal if she can’t tell a convincing lie? Or pull an I-can’t-believe-it’s-not-genuine smile?
So instead, she’ll focus on truths she’s comfortable.
“Nah,” she reaches for her -- vodka a mountain dew (more vodka than dew, but whatever), a weird combination, kind of like them -- and casually takes a sip. “Taking a break from Puckergals. It’s whatever.”
Ari
“Good.”
Her eyes widen. Like, wider than normal. She knows her eyes are big af always. But that was like, so not what she should’ve said, cause Kitty seems sad and she’s prob sad she’s no longer doing whatever with the Puckergals (she knows ‘whatever’ is prob all sorts of like, acrobatic sex, but she doesn’t really wanna think about it) and Ari is supposed to be her friend. So ‘good’ is def like, the last thing she should’ve said.
“I mean.” She clears her throat, suddenly wishing she’d never even had a sip of alcohol cause her brain is foggy and normally she can, like, be Kitty’s friend separately from someone who kinda likes Kitty but not in a creepy way or anything, just in a ‘you’re heckin beautiful and smart and I’d def love to date you but I’m not an awful person so I wouldn’t wish me upon you’ way. You know? She’s panicking, is what she’s saying.
“I mean I’m glad you’re good? That’s good.” Her hands grip her wheels and she pushes herself back a couple inches, just like, putting space between herself and Kitty because damn, son. She’s bad at this. “The whole Puckerlovin’s prob not all it’s cracked up to be.” A shrug. She wouldn’t know. She hears it’s the bomb diggity and she’s sure it’s true, but whatever. She’s not here to tell Kitty she should go back to them, right? “You feelin’ ok about the break thing?”
Kitty
“Yeah.”
She is good. Not like, in this moment, exactly. Honestly, she’s still a bit miffed that Bill Nye got to live out her personal wheelie fantasy like right in front of her or whatever. But she’s good with the Puckerbreak.
Or she will be. She likes them both. In like a sexy way and as people, but she knows it’s not going anywhere. Puckerladies have to be free. And Kitty’s kind of done with the jealousy every time Jackie looks at Marley for too long or flirts with some loser trampy girl. It’s not going to be more than sex ever with either of them, so there’s really no point in racking up hell points over it.
Besides, she’s kind of sort of realized lately, against all odds she actually likes spending time with Ari. And it doesn’t leave her feeling weird about herself or jealous (with the exception of this particular moment, obvs) - she actually, sort of feels good?
But like, she can’t just say those words. Outloud. To Ari. She’s a lot of crazy (beautiful, talented, smart) -- but she hasn’t totally lost her marbles.
So she settles for, “Like I said, it’s whatever. Jackie’s got a weird third nipple anyway,” or so goes her story, and she’s sticking to it. “It’s super gross.”
Ari
“Good.” She doesn’t take it back this time. If anyone deserves a gross, weird third nipple, it’s a Puckerman. Both Puckermans. “Gotta balance out all that...” she gestures at her own body, even if it’s frankly like, the saddest comparison ever when she actually means the P-sisters’ bodies, but she thinks Kitty will know what she means anyway. “All that.” Yeah. Let’s leave it at that. Kitty knows like, way better than Ari does, what ‘all that’ means. And Ari doesn’t really wanna think about it.
“So whaddaya wanna do?” Kitty is obv not happy, and she obv doesn’t wanna talk about it, so... what’s a nerd to do to help? “I have Netflix on my phone.” Wow. Impressive. Not like she’s been mooching Kitty’s HBO to watch GoT with her all this time. Smoooth. “Or uh... you can have my Doritos? Cool ranch.” That’s Ari’s love language right there. What else? She doesn’t have like, a ton of stuff to offer. Like she wants Kitty to not be sad or in whatever funk she’s in, but she’s like, the last person who should be in charge of cheering people up. Normal people, she means. If this was Evie or Sammy, she’d be pulling out Mario Kart or starting an impromptu D&D campaign. But Kitty is... Kitty.
“I just wanna cheer you up, K-Dawg.” She shrugs and smiles and sort of rolls her chair back and forth for a second, cause she doesn’t know if Kitty wants her to get lost or stay and she’s kinda giving her a choice, she figures. “So just tell me what you want. We’ll make it happen. I’m like, a director. I make heckin’ good magic happen.”
Kitty
It’s probably bad -- like, she definitely knows it is. Somewhere Sweet Baby Jesus is frowning and shaking his little baby head. But like this, right here, Ari sort of jumping over herself to make Kitty feel better is... actually making her feel better. And like she said, it’s wrong, she knows.
But fuck.
Regardless of whether or not it’s true, she’s always played second fiddle in the eyes of like every girl she’s ever liked. And then here’s Ari. Making a show of putting her first and it feels really good.
And while she doesn’t show it outwardly -- her expression still neutral and hard to read -- she does bend her knee just so, knocking it against Ari’s. (Is that weird? Can she feel that? Is that like super insensitive?)
“I mean... I wouldn’t pass up a ride to like the balcony. Pop culture has taught me that fresh air heals, like, all things,” and it’s also a really great way to change the topic, so it kind of works on both those levels.
Ari
Ari doesn’t really feel Kitty’s knee against her own, but she sees it, and she appreciates the gesture. She’s sure she’d like it if she’d felt it. Like, she’s sure she’d like to feel anything of Kitty’s against her to be honest, not that she should be thinking about that, because she’s not a creeper and this is like, totally the alcohol talking. She should drink more. Like, she should prob have drunk less, but that can’t be fixed now, so she may as well just drink herself into a stupor at this point to stop her brain from thinking about feeling Kitty against-
“Oh.” A ride, really? Ari doesn’t know if Kitty’s like, just saying that to make her feel less useless, like ‘yes, Ariana (why is she always Ariana in her head? prob The Mothership’s fault somehow), I totes need you to take me outside’. But you know what they say about horses, gifts, and mouths. If Kitty wants to like, sit on her lap and go out into the balcony? Aint’ nobody gonna complain.
“Hop on, Your Grace.” Ari pats her lap and then puts both hands on her wheels just to keep them from accidentally touching Kitty cause she’s not about the creeper lifestyle. “Just for the record, I hope Drogon never, like, lets Cersei ride him. We’ll just make an exception for right now.”
Kitty
Ari agrees, albeit a bit awkwardly, but Kitty doesn’t take it personally. Frankly, Ari runs a bit on the awkward side. And because she’s like the hottest person Ari will have on her lap all night (Kitty knows how to toot her own horn) so like she can’t even blame her if the nerves are a bit extra tonight, can she?
(and like... okay, so maybe she has a few anxieties of her own, too.)
Rolling her eyes, Kitty slides onto Ari’s lap, her heart doing a funny thing as she settles in. And despite the fact that Ari’s body is like... super tense, it still kind of feels.... nice? Not like, in a friend way. But in a ‘well this wouldn’t be the worst mode of transportation to take for the rest of my life’ sort of way, and kitty feels...
She feels a lot.
“It’ll be our secret,” she agrees, then taps Ari’s shoulder, “Get it, Drogon.”
If you’d like to participate, simply reblog this post. And please remember to send asks and not just answer them! If, say, 10 people reblog it, each of them should have received at least 10 asks by the end of the week :)
Meme Monday: Let’s stir the pot! Round 2
Send one or more questions to get an answer from the character, and an OOC explanation from the mun! WARNING: some of these questions may be NSFW. ALSO WARNING: if you decide to reblog this, your character will have to answer the question. Whether they lie or not is up to you, but no ‘I refuse to answer that’ or ‘I’d rather keep it to myself’ answers will be allowed!
Do you currently have a crush? Describe them without saying their name.
How many of the ACup ladies have you kissed?
If you’ve kissed any of the ACup ladies, who was the best kisser? If you haven’t, who do you think would be the best?
What’s the biggest age difference between you and one of your sex partners?
What’s the most annoying thing about your partner? If you’re single, what’s the most annoying thing about your best friend?
What’s your favorite thing about your partner? If you’re single, what’s your favorite thing about your best friend?
Assuming they want to give it to you, who would you want a lap dance from, out of the ACup ladies?
Your partner excluded, and assuming there will be no consequences, who from ACup would you choose to have a night of passion with?
When was the last time you had an orgasm? Was it also the last time you had sex?
Who was the last person to give you an orgasm?
Who was the last person you gave an orgasm to?
The person you like wants to have sex with you, but only if it’s a threesome. Who do you choose as the third person in the mix, and do you accept?
What and who were you thinking about the last time you got turned on in a non-sexual situation?
What’s your most used sex toy?
What’s the sexiest thing someone can wear?
What do you find most attractive about someone’s body?
When do you think you’ll have sex next?
If you could kiss anyone from ACup right now, who would you choose?
If you could play seven minutes in heaven with anyone from ACup, who would you choose?
________ shows up at your door with a bouquet of flowers and an offer to take you out on a romantic date. What do you do?
________ shows up at your door with strawberries, champagne, and an offer to give you a night of wild sex. What do you do?
What would you do if you walked in on ______ and ______ making out?
Have you ever had a wet dream about anyone at ACup? If so, please share.
Wildcard! Asker can choose their own question to ask.
I don’t have Snapchat, so that makes me very lame, but hey! I wanted to get away from technology and stuff. Do forgive me for not, at least, giving a sign that I’m still alive. I’ve missed your adorably gorgeous face, Ari. How have you been?
Being away from tech sounds like my idea of hell so that’s the end of me being jelly you got to go on a trip. I’ve been good! Y’know, leadin’ a page-director-DM lifestyle, as one does. How’s school treatin’ ya?
I guess you were my favorite too. TBF we should have been crowned co-winners or whatever, but I guess there’s no accounting for taste. Every day I ask myself why I’m still friends with these people, and every day they leave me with that question unanswered.
Your fave? Score. Best award tbh. And c’mon, you know ACuppers are pretty fly. I mean not as fly as me, that’s why I’m your fave. But they’re pretty cool, right?
Just when I think I am completely lost I have long night of cutting people’s drinks off, collecting keys and listening to life stories, and I’m shown that I have life much more together than I realize. But then I feel like a terrible human being for feeling better about my own life based on the troubles of others. What’s the verdict? Am I an awful person? You can be completely honest with me. I can take it.
I mean that’s like, basic human nature, you know? Catharsis and whatnot. So, not awful. Just normal. Yay?
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