BUZZFEED UNSOLVED: SUPERNATURAL SENTENCE STARTERS ( S2. )
โ and the worst part is, i donโt even have my holy water!ย โย
โ you escaped the clutches of yet another demon. โย
โ there may very well be a hot dog vendor in chicago who is a bigfoot. โย ย ย
โ demons, you cowards! โย
โ this is like satanโs cement butt hole. โย
โ i think your douche meter is usually half mast but right now itโs about three quarters full. โย
โ i think a moon having a boner is about as realistic as ghosts. โย
โ well the only way to really provoke them is to provoke them! โย ย ย
โ i think the ground is cleaner than this couch. โย
โ holy shit, itโs a jacuzzi tub! โย
โ i stole them off a woman who died on the titanic! โย
โ no, no, no, youโre going to scare the ghosts away. โย
โ if i see people taller than me, i get concerned about them because i think theyโre gonna die. . young. โย
โ jesus christ, do you always have to insult the ghosts at the place weโre at? โย
โ if george clooney was on the tonight show and you set him on fire, one of his feet would burn and the other one would probably still be planted there on the floor in a very nice shoe โ clooneyโs flammable. โย
โ iโve always gottaโ think about stuff, yโknow? like this mannequin in this tub, whatโs he doing here? โย
โ hey demons, itโs me, yaโ boy. โย
โ it is a very old piece of footage, but so is die hard โ still good. โย
โ so it was aliens? they showed up, gave โem ipads, gave โem a zune, built the pyramids, left, and thatโs it? โย
โ stop telling the ghosts to follow me home. โย
โ oh so youโre going to make me sit in the shitty chair? โย
โ this guy has been inhaling too many cat shit fumes. โย ย ย
โ i took an improv comedy class once, โcause iโm a white guy. โย
โ i just got startled by a disco ball. โย
โ maybe this ghost just loves to blaze it. โย
โ just, to be fair, fuck christopher columbus. โย
โ iโm not doing this because i want to steal, iโm doing this because i want to give the ghosts significant reason to haunt me. โย
โ hey ghouls! the boys are here. โย
โ i think everyone needs a hobby, and if you donโt have one, thatโs when youโre probably gonna start killing people. โย
โ i wasnโt fat-shaming bigfoot! โย ย ย ย ย
โ this is what happens when people are passive aggressive full-time. โย
โ ghost 101: one, knock book off shelf. week two, hold a candlestick in the middle of a hallway. threeโฆsheets. โย
โ it looks like one of the conjuring films. โย
โ anytime you get uneasy, thatโs me! โย
โ if there were a town full of me in the puritan times, weโd have landed on the moon in 1790. โย
โ weโre just two guys sitting in a tub. โย
โ demons! youโre not trying hard enough โ plunge us into darkness! โย ย ย
โ you gottaโ fuckinโ calm down, man. โย
โ why is it someone who chokes on a peanut doesnโt get a ghost? โย
โ i think itโs a little bit more fun to believe that humans are capable of some truly horrific things. โย
โ iโm exposing my cranium to you. โย ย ย
โ thereโs a good chance tonight is the night you see me die on camera. โย
โ shadows do tend to follow you though, thatโs how they work. โย
โ this is gonna get a little morbid, but whoโs to say that a burning body doesnโt smell like barbecue? โย
โ i didnโt even get to do all the things on my bucket list. โย
โ i donโt wanna be a ghost hunter, this is all bullshit! โย
โ you keep tricking me into talking to them, you fuckinโ dickhead! โย
โ is it very european to โ to burst into flames? โย
โ and i guess this is where weโre fuckinโ sleeping because weโre idiots. โย
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