that was supposed to be a warning shot. @armandoeldestructo - Tumblr Blog

Unfollow please!

As an adult, you can literally do what ever you want to do, I always end up wanting to just go home.

how u have batman money and no robot leg

Remember when Anakin cut his son’s hand off and then immediately asked him if they could be pals as if he hadn’t just cut his son’s hand off?

Anakin’s like, “I lost four limbs… I’m not sure why he’s so upset?”

“Son, back in my day you had to crawl uphill out of a volcano when you lost a limb, you kids have it so easy.”

“goddamn entitled space millennials. why are you crying, was that your selfie hand, wuss?”

job application: describe your most recent leadership role

me: sometimes at crosswalks i'm the first one to start jaywalking and everyone follows me

Have u ever met the human version of a headache

@thefizzypop I'm glad you had so much faith in me to, you know, live.

Being back in Italy makes me miss the muncle cast and crew. Had the best time on those sets, nothing compares.

Who wears short shorts? We're back in Italy after fighting off some nasty virus that spread through my household like wildfire.

Tumblr forced me to change my password and then I forgot what I made it 👌🏻

*tries to watch 45 minutes episode in 20 minutes*

Anyway, it's good to be back home where I can reminisce about my old smoker through photos as means to put of going to the gym.

I sleep for a few hours and @thefizzypop goes off and replaces me with a girl that could easily kick my ass. I can't complain.

People are only in friendships with me for my kid, and I’m more than okay with it. I mean, have you seen her???

what an angel.

you must be really self centered if you think that people speaking in a different language automatically means they’re talking shit about you

that was supposed to be a warning shot.