Why I feel “Kaguya-Sama: Love is War” should be looked to as an influence when writing romance stories:
So first and foremost, “Kaguya-Sama: Love is War” is a comedy series that pokes fun at a lot of romance genre tropes. While the series does have its serious moments, it is, by all accounts, a comedy. However, even at its silliest, “Kaguya-Sama” is a damn good romance story and avoids a lot of common pitfalls that other romance stories fall into.
1) The series treats friendships as being just as important as romances.
2) Rejections happen but isn’t portrayed as a negative. Sometimes, the couple just doesn’t work. Also, the big rejection that happens in the series really lets you feel for both people. You understand the reasons why one person is rejecting the other and, in a way, you actually feel better that the two don’t get together. Let me put it this way; it’s a good thing that one of the people acknowledges that they weren’t ready to be a long-term relationship. It’s better for both parties in the long run.
3) There’s a chapter that makes fun of shipping wars and how toxic and pointless they can be.
4) The story doesn’t reward bad habits and toxic behavior BUT does give people a chance to change for the better. Look, I love the main characters…but they objectively have terrible views on romance. And that’s part of the reason why I love this series; it’s about two people with horrible views on romance changing for the better.
5) As an additional point to the series not rewarding toxic behavior, a great deal of the series is centered on the two leads being forced to deal with how toxic their own lifestyles are. Due to the pressures of her upper-class family, Kaguya becomes cold and shuts down emotionally in order to protect herself, which doesn’t work since she ends up just hurting herself and the others around her. Due to him being from a poor family, Miyuki is a workaholic who overworks himself just because he feels that is the only way he can be Kaguya’s equal. What I love is that, even though this is a romance story, both Kaguya and Miyuki’s problematic behavior is tied in with their love story. They both can’t be together until they face their problems, which I love since it’s positive character development and makes the romance feel earned.
6) Doesn’t shy away from talking about sex and how that could really alter the relationship dynamics. Along the same lines, the series also acknowledges both “girl talk” and “guy talk”. You see the male characters talking about women and vice versa with the female characters. What I love is that it’s treated as just normal; doesn’t matter the gender, people love to gossip and talk about sex and their love lives.
7) Avoids pointless love triangles for the two leads. Even when the story does do a love triangle, it actually make sense with the characters and the story that is being told.
8) Literally, one of the first jokes in the series is that the romantic relationship between the two leads doesn’t progress since neither party made a move. They only started making progress when they actually took the initiative instead of waiting for the other one to make a move.
9) Acknowledges that not everything in a romance has to be a big gesture in order for the romance to progress. Like, one of the biggest romantic moments in the series is just Kaguya giving Miyuki a birthday cake. Sometimes, it’s really the thought that counts.
10) This is more of a modern day point but the series acknowledges just how important social media has become and how it affects our relationships. Literally, one of the funniest gags in the series is a character freaking out about sending a follow request on Twitter.
11) This series probably has the best representation of what it feels like to actually try to ask someone out, or at least what it feels like when you try to get your crush to like you back. As someone who suffers from anxiety, I love that they represent the characters’ anxiety as an epic battle. Like, you could just FEEL the stress.
12) Actually treats the side characters and their romances with respect. I feel like I’ve seen a lot of romance movies where these two side characters will just get together randomly, no build-up and usually done as a gag. But “Kaguya-Sama” actually builds and develops the side romances, almost as much as they do on the main romance. Hell, I’m just happy that this is a series that actually uses their side characters and doesn’t treat them like glorified extras.
13) When it comes to the romances, the series makes an effort to give each party their agency and how they feel about their partner. Let me just say, I’ve seen too many series where the romance is either one-sided, focuses too much on one character’s feelings, or there is an obvious power imbalance. In “Kaguya-Sama”, you really do feel there’s an effort to showcase both sides of the romance and develop them equally.
14) As my last note, the series acknowledges that romance isn’t perfect. Sometimes, the person you end up falling for isn’t the person you thought you’d be attracted to. Sometimes, the romantic scenario you came up in your head isn’t what happens in real life. Sometimes, the person who you thought was the one just wasn’t meant to be. But the series says that it’s okay that your love story wasn’t perfect. In the end, it’s all about being happy with the person you’re with.