Romance??

the relatability of being aromantic

[aro-mood]

This is probably a vent BUT Threeish days ago I found aceblr and was excited bc I knew I'm ace, but then I went through a blog and saw alloroace anons describing their crushes and was shocked bc they were describing romantic attraction like in books, so I asked an alloro friend if romantic attraction was a Thing and that was how I found out I'm aro after 18yrs of life misinterpreting romantic attraction as either media dramatization or friends' sexual attraction. 😂

FHIDJ wELCOME TO THE ARO CLUB BABEY!!! i figured it out around the same time too my dude oh my god it’s a wild realization

[aro-mood]

I feel like that anyone questioning about their romantic prowess could try dating at least once, because I feel that general nervousness about dating is something everyone will experience but if you've never dated before it's hard to distinguish those feelings from being nervous about about dating because your aro. If someone who identifies as aro is honestly interested in dating, go for it. Maybe not in the first 2 years of high school or younger tho.They don't know what they doin. your choice.

i mean yea, if someone who is aro wants to give romance a shot then absolutely go for it, it can help clarify things if someone is conflicted or unsure!! 

however, in my experience, nervousness abt dating doesn’t have any say in me being aro, i simply don’t feel romantic attraction, plain and simple. it wouldn’t change if i gave dating a shot and for others that have this same experience it prob wouldn’t be very beneficial

[aro-mood]

im scared. so ive tried romatic relationships a few times and Everytime it fails its because of my sort of,,, disgust??? to romatic relationships. i indentify as bisexual and i DO have a desire for sexual relationships but not romantic. i feel like im broken somehow. and i dont wanna feel this way but im starting to understand. what more can i do to reaffirm this feeling?

im aro and gay anon dw i gOTCHU!! its a tough feeling to wrap ur head around and accept but don’t ever feel like you’re broken!

think of it this way: ppl out there that are alloromantic and allosexual can have one night stands or whatever without actually being romantically attracted to someone. it’s okay and more normal than ppl make it out to be. i personally am not disgusted by the idea of a romantic relationship but i have no desire for one, yet i’m still attracted to ppl. you aren’t alone and it’s okay to accept this as something you want!!

[aro-mood]

Hey! I easily have crushes, a godlike admiration for everything the person does, feeling good when I'm around them, lowkey trying to get their attention, wanting intimacy but never wanting to be in a relationship with them. I had a boyfriend when I was 16 and I hated kissing and cuddling, I just didn't feel anything, it felt really robotic. I always thought I hadn't found the right one. Do some aros often have short and hard crushes without wanting reciprocation? So confused rn aaaahh

i mean ive thought i had crushes before and it felt kinda like that, and i’d realize later that i constructed the whole thing and didnt rly feel it in the first place. i’ve chalked most up to j being friend crushes (squishes) where i want to be rly rly close w someone and i wanna be their friend so!! bAD!! some aros may feel the same way, and everyone’s experience is different, so don’t worry too much abt it!!!

[aro-mood]

Hi! It's the anon whose classmates kept shipping her with her friends! I tried being a bit more stern telling one of them to stop, and so far she hasn't done anything like that again! (as far as I know oof) so tysm for helping! But I have a new aro problem oOF. Everyone is dating and talking about crushes and I feel so left out?? Like I feel like I'm missing an essential part of the "teen experience" if that makes sense?? Having a first kiss and a big crush n all that. I feel like im missing out

heyo!! glad the first part worked out for you dude heck yea!

as for that yea i feel you. honestly i’d try to appreciate the perks of not having that quintissential ‘teen experience’ yknow? like, if it’s ever bumming you out just remember all the breakups and relationship drama other people deal with, think about never having to deal with unrequited crushes, etc. It makes me feel better knowing that i’ll never deal with the negatives, and i can still be happy with myself and supportive of my friends’ relationships! :0

hdxkjhv hope this helps dude <3

[aro-mood]

A couple months ago I came out to my close friends as biromantic demisexual and immediately began experiencing stress over the 'biromantic' label. I thought I had it all figured out but I was so wrong. I still feel very conflicted about the romantic aspect of it and I am not quite sure how to go about it? Just thought I'd share my experience so far!

hey thanks for sharin anon!! :0 remember that you’ve got time to decide, and if ur truly having too difficult a time you don’t have to choose at all! you could be aesthetically bi or some other type of attraction, and that can be separate from whatever you feel you are romantically. think abt it and explore various communities and labels, and see if any of them feel right <3

[aro-mood]

I think that I might be aro/ace but I've been debating this for a century, because my brain is still developing and I've been confused for a while. When I was younger, I thought I had crushes on people but now that I think about it, it just didn't seem like it was real. Nowadays, when I imagine romantic relationships, they don't seem appealing to me at all but my feelings like to swing around a lot. I need help :\

MOOD MOOD MOOD take ur time dude!! youve got your entire life to figure this out and you can always change ur mind if what you decide on doesnt fit quite right! every ‘crush’ i ever had was fake and i only realized that when i got a lil older so we kinda had the same thing happen! whatever u decide is a-okay and dont stress over it <3

[aro-mood]

Whenever I think about being in a romantic relationship it stresses me out and I begin feeling sick to my stomach. It makes me so uncomfortable and uneasy I literally can't calm myself down. When I started questioning my sexual/romantic orientation I didn't even consider being aromantic, mainly because romance was so ingrained in my brain as something that MUST exist in a person's life.

yEA DUDE romance is rly seen as standard and the moment u realize it doesnt have to apply to you it can be a huge revelation!! im personally fine imagining me in like domestic romantic situations but i cant imagine actual romance and never have romantic feelings

[aro-mood]

[1] I had a weird thing In kindergarten where me n' this other boy kept getting in trouble for kissing each other on the cheeks and then telling the teacher on the one who kissed. It's funny, because it started by the boy kissing me on the cheek and my mile-a-minute brain going(no one has done that to me besides family members)(romance is a thing that happens outside of family relations)(I can't deal man)(wait, I know someone who CAN deal) I told the teacher

okay but this is rly cute dhbkjf getting each other back for getting in trouble ur kid minds were Genius

[aro-mood]

Guyyyyss I just made a discovery, don't laugh at me okay? I just realized that a person can have intense feelings toward other people, but it doesn't mean those feelings are romantic. Intense feelings ≠ romantic feelings. Wow!! I thought I was grayro for sooo loong because of this, but nah, hi I'm aro. 🙋 Ngl, now all that romance repulsion makes more sense. 😂 Thanks for listening to this public service announcement.

THIS WAS HOW I DISCOVERED I WAS ASPEC TOO :0000

still unsure where exactly on said spectrum i am but hell yea we aros babey!!

[aro-mood]

Hey, it's the anon from earlier. Thanks for replying, I feel a lot better! I hope you have a good day (or night, it's kinda late where I am.) Thanks again!

no problem anon, i’m so happy you’re feeling better!! <3 <3

[aro-mood]

I've had crushes on FICTIONAL characters of both genders, but that's it. Actual real life relationships make me feel sick. I can't think about that kind of stuff cause it makes me feel nauseous. And the weird thing is, while I do have crushes on some of these characters, I get the same amount (possibly more) satsifaction out of the idea of platonic relationships. I tell everyone I'm aromantic, but I'm scared I'm not, that I'm lying to everyone. Am I doing something wrong? (Sorry if I'm annoying)

nono you’re not annoying anon dontchu fret! i honest to god don’t know where fictional crushes lie in your identity, but identities are fluid and ever-changing and if aro feels right at this moment, then you aren’t lying, regardless of what you’ve felt in the past. it’s your label to choose and if it’s what you feel describes your feelings, nobody can take that from you!

[justanaroacedisgrace]

Idk but maybe anon will see this so,

Some terms that might be helpful to you:

Queerplatonic/quasiplatonic relationship: think dating someone but it’s platonic (the partners involved are called QPPs, queer/quasiplatonic partners)

Lithromantic/akoiromantic: feeling romantic attraction to someone that fades/disappears once it’s reciprocated

Soft romo: either a low level crush or an adjective to describe a relationship with a small amount of romance (more than a QPR but less than a typical romantic relationship)

Edit: I thought of another label so

Squish: basically a platonic crush, sometimes it can be difficult to tell the difference between a squish and a crush.

No matter what you end up identifying as, you’re valid! Good luck 💚

[aro-mood]

so anon can see, ty for helping!!! <3

fr guys whatever you choose to identify as, it is a-okay as long as it’s comfortable for you!

[aro-mood]

Hey there!! If you're still looking for good love songs I recommend Til Kingdom Come by Coldplay and If My Heart Was A House by Owl City! They're both super sweet. Keep up the great work I love this blog 💚💜💚💜

thank u

oh my god thank u the owl city one was literally exactly what i was looking for thAnk you so much dude <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

[aro-mood]

I've had crushes on FICTIONAL characters of both genders, but that's it. Actual real life relationships make me feel sick. I can't think about that kind of stuff cause it makes me feel nauseous. And the weird thing is, while I do have crushes on some of these characters, I get the same amount (possibly more) satsifaction out of the idea of platonic relationships. I tell everyone I'm aromantic, but I'm scared I'm not, that I'm lying to everyone. Am I doing something wrong? (Sorry if I'm annoying)

nono you’re not annoying anon dontchu fret! i honest to god don’t know where fictional crushes lie in your identity, but identities are fluid and ever-changing and if aro feels right at this moment, then you aren’t lying, regardless of what you’ve felt in the past. it’s your label to choose and if it’s what you feel describes your feelings, nobody can take that from you!

[aro-mood]

h e l l o I’m back to BOTHER you but no one I know in person knows about aro/ace and the very VERY few people I’ve told dont think It’s a thing so I love finding blogs and communities like this!! Thanks!!! I’ve been debating back and forth for like three years about being aro and I’ve known for a while but recently came to the conclusion I’m ace as well and it feels so good to finally be comfortable with my titles (even though I can’t really talk to people about it) ANYWAYS SORRY BUT ILL BE BACK

u aint a bother honey!!!! yea i dont rly talk abt being aro w my friends bc its not something most ppl can rly relate to at all, we gotta stick together on the Tunglr Junglr baBEY <3 <3 proud of u for being able to feel comfortable in ur titles!!!!

[aro-mood]

Aro culture is finding any and all songs about friendship. (Lean on me)(you got a freind in me)(it's been a long day, without you my freind)(uhhh)(those are the first ones off the top of my head)(there's more, I'm sure)(those are some popular ones though)

i LOVE friendship songs y e s theyre my favs

im honest to god having this kind of issue rn where i need to come up w a good happy love song and I DONT KNOW ANY NOT A SINGLE ONE :0000

[aro-mood]

aro culture is carrying on unaffected while listening to romance songs that everyone else can relate to

aFBHJD TRUE i dont get romance songs oh my g od like?? what