A Vulnerable Spirit
grapevine wire, sheer fabric, artificial plants, hot glue
appx. 5 ft long when straightened out
This sculpture is formed from an original character I’ve created. It isn’t just one character, but rather one part of a series. They are ghosts who exist in space and their goal is to survive and surpass the obstacles that are brought into their spaces. They represent depression and anxiety, but the deeper unseen aspects of it. When you struggle with mental illnesses, they are invisible. People don’t know about them unless you tell them. It’s something that you have to explain and most of the time people don’t understand, they tell you to “just be more positive” or to “stress out less” but that isn’t necessarily possible. Many times these words make things worse. The ghosts are vessels to carry the feelings, and they exist alongside the person. They’re a physical representation of the struggles experienced.This specific ghost is one that is posable. It is transparent so you can see what is inside. When looking, you see that there is growth happening but it’s exposed, which brings about the idea that this growth and the healing that is manifesting could potentially be harmed and reversed. The rest of the growth is on the outside of it and is very vulnerable to the outside. Its skeleton is malleable and easily manipulated, and this is something that I personally experience within my mental health and I know others do too. We bend and flux with our surroundings and the people around us. It’s impossible to stay the same, but our goal is to just survive. When struggling with these issues it’s easiest to just exist and not do anything, because being productive can be hard and draining. However, when we do nothing we feel that we aren’t productive enough but we don’t have the energy to do anything more than existing in those moments. This is something I even experienced when trying to explain my piece in class. I picked up the piece to move it to its home out on a bench, but to others it became more about the performance. I didn’t speak up the first day when I should have, and I let it become about the performance. I became visibly upset and frustrated as is seen in the video I posted previously, but I didn’t realize this until watching the video. The class passed it around and I felt like I was being manipulated myself, because the sculpture was doing something it wasn’t supposed to. I felt like the piece was being abused for other peoples’ amusement. It took seeing this for me to mention that it was never supposed to be that, and that I never wanted this to happen. I went with what others said they wanted the ghost to be and do even though it wasn’t supposed to do anything but be. I let these things happen to appease the wants of others, as I do with many aspects of my life. The ghost just wanted to relax and rest on a bench but it was being dragged around, carried, passed back and forth, and finally it was able to sit for a brief moment before being pulled back inside and stuck back in a bag. This is something that I struggle with on a daily basis. I get pulled around, moved, manipulated, and then I get home and I just want to sit. I don’t feel like I have the time or energy to do what I need to for myself because I have been so busy making other peoples need a priority over my own. This is something I have noticed is common in the community of people who struggle with depression and anxiety disorders. We are fragile, we are manipulated, but we survive. We may fray and erode in ways that may or may not be visible, but we sometimes find the strength and support to make it through the day and do it all over again the next. Others aren’t so lucky or so strong, and they become the ghosts to carry some of the burden to help the rest of us.
jacobvanloon
discoholicmusic
vaporwave
izzy806