fuck u over

↳ but i'm no good at saying sorry

[artient-blog]

i won’t be on artie for a little bit

im trying to regain muse for him

it’s hard

[artient-blog]

parknsora:

‘’For your information, I’m older than you and I don’t now if your mom taught you this but you have to speak in a formal way to people that are way older than you. I’m not normally like this, I don’t scold people but you’re asking for it.’’ she said, for her tone it could be seen that she was starting to lose her patience, which was something that wasn’t normally happening. ‘’If you are mad or anything then be but do you think that is good to be rude to others? If you think like that then I don’t know what kind of person you are? I mean, that’s not how you should think. Do you want some ice to put in your brain so you can start thinking straight or?’’. During her speech, Sora forgot that there were cameras, she forgot about her image, in that moment she just wanted to make the boy stop being that way since it was making the girl mad.

artie groaned, he couldn’t be bothered with this right now. “my mother did not teach me to be this way.” he spoke coldly, he didn’t like people even doing so much as his parents. “my mother taught me to shut the fuck up and pretend i didn’t exist.” he quietly muttered, crossing his arms. “look- what i don’t want is a lecture. if you had left when i asked you to, we wouldn’t have this problem.” 

[artient-blog]

bxileys:

bailey sat shocked as artie slammed the door, “fucking useless, that’s what you are.” he muttered to himself, standing up to chase after artie. “artie! artie i’m sorry! i didn’t mean it like that.” he sighed, hoping to catch up with the younger boy. “i didn’t mean to upset you atticus! i just wanted to help in some way! i’m sorry for being a caring person, it’s who i am okay? and i wish i could change it but i can’t.” he yelled towards the younger boy.

Keep reading

artie groaned as bailey followed him, though the sincerity in his voice terrified him. “i wish i could change it but i can’t.” bailey’s anger seemed so pure and sincere it terrified artie. he wanted to slow himself down and talk, but his mind was all over the place and he couldn’t bring himself to do it. he felt tears beginning to build up as bailey pulled on his arm.

he sat down on the ground next to bailey, “refusing to talk is the reason half of the time the thoughts in my mind are borderline suicidal.” artie wasn’t stupid, he knew what bailey was trying to say. he was trying to say if he didn’t talk he’s cave in to the negative thoughts in his mind, and he knew bailey was right. “i’m terrified bailey.” he chocked out, running his hands through his hair. “i’m a fuck up, i shouldn’t be alive bailey. you don’t understand. i’m not meant to be alive. i was a fucking mistake, nobody wanted me. i lived for 14 years being abused and yelled at for living, shit like that makes it hard to want to live. why the fuck should i even stay around bailey? what do i have going for me? some camera shit that won’t last long.”

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spxxcer:

“Camera?” spencer repeated once more before sitting up. He scratched the back of head, trying to figure out where it possibly could be. “If you misplaced it shouldn’t it be in the house? If not, do you have a office or place where you take pictures?” he asked staring back at the man. He wasn’t familiar with Artie’s career since they themselves haven’t socialized often.

“that’s what i possibly thought, i called the other photographers that share the same space and they haven’t seen it.” artie explained, his respective tone beginning to show through once more. he hadn’t meant to speak so forcefully, and he was feeling bad about it. “i don’t know where i could have left it. i don’t leave it anywhere, it always hangs on my neck. except for when i sleep.” he frowned, feeling powerless without his camera around his neck.

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parknsora:

The girl was actually not expecting that type of reaction from the boy (or anyone else), making her blink various times. The truth was that she could leave him alone and that was she was about to do, but if it was her… would she like that someone left her alone? Sora found herself confused her own thoughts. ‘’Well, when someone is.. in that type of mind, normally they like to talk or have someone to make funny things with them so they can forget for some time’’ she murmured while getting up, not that she about to go away, she was just thinking if she should do that or not, while waiting for the reply of the boy. ‘’We can always not talk about whatever is in your head because to be honest I don’t really want to know, but it’s not part of me to let someone alone when they aren’t in a good mood.’’

artie frowned, “well. i’m not normal. i want to be alone. i don’t like to talk, i hate people. why the hell would i want to talk to them? i don’t even want to be here.” he dug his nails into his knees in an attempt to keep his anger under control. he groaned at her response, “your friendly attitude isn’t wanted here. please. just go and find somebody else who shares your same enthusiasm. i’m not someone who needs to be helped, i know what i’m doing. and what i’m trying to do right now is be alone.”

[artient-blog]

spxxcer:

“I told you, I didn’t see it anywhere. And why in heavens name would I consider taking it from you?” Spencer asked as his roommate approached him, accusing him of theft for something they owned. Spencer wasn’t the type to steal, nor was he a liar. He soon felt obliged to get to the bottom of the whole situation.

“i never said you had taken it. i was just curious as to if you’d seen my camera.” artie crossed his arms, not at all amused by the situation. “all i have left is my polaroid camera, and i don’t know if you know this. but a photographer needs their camera, come on. get up, help me find it.”

[artient-blog]

bxileys:

bailey frowned, he knew artie was getting mad but he just wanted him to talk. though he knew it was highly hypocritical he couldn’t bring himself to actually drop the subject. “artie- please. i’m just trying to help you, okay? don’t get so uptight.” he sighed, not wanting artie to have to go through anything alone. “c’mon artie, you can trust me. i know you don’t want to, but you can.”

“i said i didn’t want to talk about it.” artie could feel his temper begin to rise as he listened to what bailey had to say. he stood up, clenching his fists until his knuckles turned white. “you don’t fucking understand so stop trying to make me say shit, okay?” he yelled at the older boy. he didn’t understand why he was so mad or why he was yelling but all he knew was that he was mad and had to let it all out. “why the fuck do you want to know so badly? i’m not some pity project you can pick up in hopes of fixing, i’m fine. stop acting like there’s something fucking wrong with me because there’s not.” he continued to yell at the other. “just- just fuck off.” he turned to walk out of the door, slamming it behind him.

[artient-blog]

parknsora:

Sora took some steps back after the words of the boy, with her hands up in the air the girl found herself trying not to laugh at what he was saying, she decided to sit on the ground, a little far away from the boy. ‘’I’m okay as well, I wasn’t going to ask for help. My name is Sora, yes I know I look and act like a 10 years old girl at times, if you’re not going to move then I’ll not move as well. I came here in peace, shall I share my peace with you instead of going away?’’ she murmured, repeating basically everything that the boy told her, she was not going to leave him alone, it was not okay to see people alone and mad/sad.

artie started at the girl in front of him, “you should go away.” he repeated, not liking the idea of somebody else being near him. let alone someone else talking to him, and he knew if he told her it was okay if she stayed, there would have to be conversation. that was the last thing artie wanted to do; talk. he just wanted to be left alone, “why can’t you just go about your business and leave me alone?”

[artient-blog]

artie frowned as he noticed someone walking towards him. he was currently curled up in the corner of the kitchen and didn’t want to be bothered. “yes i’m okay, no i’m not going to help you. my name’s artie, yes i know i look young, no i’m not going to move. that should answer all questions you could have, now you can go on your way and leave me in peace.”

[artient-blog]

bxileys:

bailey frowned, “why don’t i believe you atticus?” he questioned, shaking his head slightly. he didn’t understand what had happened to artie to make that happen to him, and he didn’t want him to go through it alone. he may not have been that much older than artie, but he felt the need to protect him more than normal. “c’mon, you can trust me. we’re friends atticus, you can talk to me.” he tried his best to give him a smile. 

“that’s a good question hyung, why don’t you believe me?” artie questioned. he could feel himself begin to get angrier as the other continued to press into the matter, he didn’t want to talk. the last thing he wanted to do was talk. “just drop the subject, okay? just don’t even talk to me about this.” he gritted his teeth, clenching his fists to try and calm himself down. he didn’t want to talk. he wouldn’t talk. especially not to somebody he’d barely known.

[artient-blog]

bxileys:

bailey laughed at the other, “hey- i’m the hyung here. keep your pinchers to yourself.” he smiled, shaking his head. as soon as the two got to his room he sat down on his bed, looking at the smaller boy. “h-hey. are you, are you doing okay? it’s been a while since i saw you last, and the last time i saw you it wasn’t. well it wasn’t good i just want to make sure you’re doing okay.” he rambled on, staring down at his hands. he didn’t want to upset him by bringing up the panic attack he had had, but at the same time he couldn’t ignore it. 

artie nodded, moving to sit next to bailey. he felt shy about this topic, but he didn’t want to make it seem worse than it was by trying to avoid the subject. “i’m fine hyung, believe me. i’m absolutely fine, okay?” he gave bailey his best attempt at a smile, hoping he would leave it where it was. “it was just a bad day for me, but i’m fine now, yeah?”

[artient-blog]

haruahn:

Haru shook his head slightly to himself; he knew Jaehoon the best and knew the boy definitely wasn’t a ‘dirty tainted soul’ but he couldn’t help but wonder the reason why the other boy rejected him. Was Jaehoon just too polite to say that Haru wasn’t good enough for him? Whatever it was, thinking of Jaehoon’s words made the emptiness in his chest even stronger.

“I don’t mind.” He responded, shrugging his shoulders lightly. A little mess never bothered him. Following Artie up to his room, he awkwardly perched himself on the edge of the boy’s bed and watched him clean up. He would have offered to help, but Artie seemed to have had everything under control. A soft laugh escaped Haru’s lips as he thought back to his new friends; the sweet old ladies had found him and tried to comfort him before moving him out of the view of the public to calm down. He was grateful for them, and made a mental note to get their contact information later on. “I don’t know, one minute I was on the beach and the next minute I’m eating mandu with all these old ladies talking about their grandchildren.” Looking over at the box, Haru smiled slightly. “Snakes and Ladders?”

artie nodded at his explanation, he was happy he had found him though. he liked the idea of him safe in a hotel room, instead of vulnerable out in the public. he didn’t really want to spend his night with haru, but he would if it meant he was out of public sight. he nodded at the other, “sounds good.”

he moved to set up the board, he was cautious about upsetting other. whilst he, being sixteen, had never experienced this ‘heartbreak’ before. he’d heard of how painful it was, though artie tended to think your heart actually being broken would hurt more than a break up or something of the like. this opinion caused his friends to tell him he was horribly desensitized. something artie never paid much attention to, when it came to friends he couldn't care less what they thought. this was probably the reason he had no friends, but artie didn’t care. if he had friends he’d have to deal with situations like this, and it hurt him enough just trying to act casually with haru.

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haruahn:

Haru couldn’t help but let out a laugh at how ridiculous Artie’s statements were. He wasn’t sure how sacrificing Jaehoon to Satan would help him get over his heartbreak, but he still felt grateful that Artie was trying to help him feel better. “He’s the last person I’d call a tainted soul, though.” He muttered quietly, a slight yet sad smile on his face as he thought of his best friend.

Walking into the hotel lobby, Haru gave the smaller boy a grateful smile. The fact that Artie was being so welcoming and nice to him in his time of need despite their rocky meeting meant more to him than the teenager would ever know. “I don’t think I’m going to try and date anyone for a long time after this.” He shrugged, still holding the box of warm food to his chest. Knowing that the producers had left games in the hotel rooms, Haru turned to Artie. “Can we go to your room? I just … don’t want to be in my room for a while.” He knew that reminders of Jaehoon filled his room, and that was the last thing he wanted to deal with right now. “Are you hungry? We can share the food the old ladies gave me, if you want.”

“he’s a dirty tainted soul.” artie mumbled, not wanting haru to let the other have a good image in his mind. he didn’t know who haru was talking about, but he didn’t care they had hurt haru and that was what mattered to him.

artie nodded, “yeah- there’s polaroids everywhere and film strips in random places but, it’ll be fine.” he smiled. he hadn’t cleaned anything as he wasn’t prepared for anybody to come over. he just wanted to take photos and be left alone, but he couldn’t leave haru like he was. once he got to his room he quickly gathered up everything and pushed it to the corner of his room, “ignore all of that, it’s trash.” he shook his head, he hadn’t been pleased with any photos he had taken so far. then again, he rarely liked any photos he took. “speaking of them- why were you surrounded by so many?” he questioned, laughing slightly as he sat down on his bed, looking through the game he had gotten.

[artient-blog]

haruahn:

Haru shrugged his shoulders; he didn’t know what to say. Even if Jaehoon had just ripped his heart to shreds, he knew getting over his best friend wasn’t going to be easy. Instead of replying, he simply focused on shovelling the rest of the food into his mouth. He didn’t trust himself to speak at that moment, knowing that all that would come out would be ugly sobs.

Quietly thanking the women for caring for him and receiving a box of leftover food for him to take with him, Haru followed the angry boy. “Please don’t- don’t kill him.” Haru replied, hugging the box of food against his chest as he walked. “He’s still my best friend.” He knew Artie was probably just speaking out of anger, but he didn’t particularly want to deal with heartbreak and a beaten up best friend, regardless of how much pain that best friend had caused him. “Let’s not get Satan involved in this.” He added, a weak laugh escaping his lips. “Hopefully there’ll still be some good games left when we get there.”

artie sighed, “but- but haru i can get rid of him. it doesn’t matter if he’s your best friend, he hurt you and that’s not okay.” he frowned at the other, shaking his head. “i think the best thing to do is to involve satan in this, i can sacrifice him. tainted souls like him deserve to spent the rest of their lives in the underworld.” 

he folded his arms and just decided to follow haru, he didn’t want to upset him more by reminding him more than he should. “it’s fine hyung, you’ll find somebody who is worthy of your big giant self.” he nodded, walking into the hotel. he didn’t really want to go to this ‘game night’ thing, but he didn’t mind if it meant he’d cheer up haru just that much more. he’d never admit that to anyone ever though, he didn’t want to seem weak by letting haru see any of his emotions. it was just how it worked with artie, it was something he learnt to deal with and haru would have to deal with too. 

[artient-blog]

haruahn:

Haru sighed softly as he realised that his act wasn’t going to work; Artie knew he was sad and there was no point in trying to hide it. He didn’t want to think about what had happened, wanted to pretend that the memories didn’t exist, but he knew it wouldn’t be healthy to keep everything in. Shrugging his shoulders slightly, he poked at his food with his chopsticks as he tried to figure out a way to tell the younger boy.

“Please don’t mention this to anyone…” He spoke quietly, a lump already forming in his throat as he thought back to the incident. “I confessed my feelings to Jaehoon, right?” He began, blinking back tears. “But he just completely rejected me and then walked away.” Diverting his gaze back to his lap as he felt himself beginning to cry once more, he was glad that the old ladies he had befriended were at hand to give him tissues. Giving them a grateful smile before wiping his face once again, he shrugged; he hoped changing the subject would make him feel a little better.  “I don’t know what to do, but whatever. I heard today there was a game night back at the hotel. Do you want to go?”

artie felt himself grow angrier as haru spoke, he hated the idea of somebody hurting the person he liked quite a lot. “he did what to you?” he clenched his fists slightly, shaking his head. “i can’t believe he’d just walk away. he’s a terrible person and you deserve so much better.” he shook his head, getting up from haru’s lap. he wasn’t able to contain how angry knowing somebody hurt haru like that angered him.

“sure, let’s go back.” he angrily crossed his arms as he walked in the direction of the hotel. “i’ll kill him for you haru. i can do that. i’m not afraid of some heartbreaking idiot, i can and will kill him if that’s what you want.” he looked up at haru, nodding his head. in his eyes, anyone who hurt haru shouldn’t be allowed to exist happily. he’d make sure they got what they deserved. “i may be short but- you know what they say. short people are closer to satan.”

[artient-blog]

haruahn:

Haru wasn’t sure how long he had cried on the beach for. All he knew what that a group of old ladies had spotted him and unofficially adopted him as their grandson for the time being. He couldn’t complain, the constant attention and awesome food he had been receiving ever since they had found him definitely made him feel a tiny bit better. Despite this, he couldn’t stop the flow of tears that had been running down his cheeks ever since Jaehoon had walked away; he was sure that he was going to have a terrible headache later on. 

Jumping slightly in surprise, he quickly wiped the tears from his face once he realised that the person who had taken his food and sat on his lap was Artie. A fond yet weak smile appeared on Haru’s face as he wrapped his arms around the younger boy. “Of course. The tinest bean.” He laughed softly, trying his best to act normal; he didn’t want to burden the boy with his problems. “What’s up? Are you enjoying Jeju so far?”

artie knew better than to believe haru was fine, he wasn’t stupid. he frowned at the other, the nickname made him want to hurt the other. but whilst he was in this state he wouldn’t do anything that could hurt him in the slightest. he may hate everybody, but he wasn’t a terrible person. that was something he was confident he wasn’t.

“but- but you were crying into food.” he commented, gesturing to the food he had put to the side. he didn’t want to push haru to talk, but at the same time he knew he was not okay and that anything he said would probably be a lie. “your eyes are red too, you’ve been crying a lot. what’s wrong?” he continued to frown at the other, not sure as to what was going on with him.

[artient-blog]

haruahn

artie had gone out simply to take photos of the island, something he didn’t expect was to find haru surrounded by grandmas. he picked his camera up, deciding this was a scene he needed to share with most everyone. he took a few photos before realizing the upset look on his face. he frowned and walked closer to him, only now he realized the other was crying. he wasn’t sure what he could do to make the older boy happy.

he slowly made his way to the other, breaking the wall of grandmas. he picked up the food haru was currently crying into and moved it to the side. he inserted himself into haru’s lap, knowing the other thought how tiny he was was cute. “look. i’m tiny. you like it when i’m tiny, right?”