"It's better to have fewer things of quality than too much expendable junk." -- Rachel Zoe, Stylist
Let's be a little honest. Growing up isn't easy. Fitting in is certainly not easy either. When we are growing up, especially in early-school years, the pressure of other kids (let's face it, some adults too) is very high and heavy on a kid's self-esteem. Factor in the emotional turmoil of an environment, making friends, and keeping up with studies. Well, it's tough being a kid. I won't be-labor how growing is tough, but I will say how judgment and preconceived messages are interpreted by simply... what you're wearing.
I grew up in Catholic school almost all my life. Uniforms were the biggest part of my school identity. Elementary school and High school uniform were essentially the same. White shirt, dress slacks, tie, sweater. The usual. I guess wearing a uniform makes uniformity but does it make identity? Quick story, I remember there was a dress-down day and saw all my classmates in regular clothes. I found that most people loved their hip hop labels like Sean John, Phat Farm, and Echo. I thought I would love to wear that kind of stuff. My parents had a huge hand in what I wore, in and out of school. In my down time I would wear sweaters, slacks, and even wore jeans once or twice, (My parents were a little daring, ha!) So on that dress-down day, everyone looked so cool in their gear and once I entered the room and everyone was talking about me. Negatively. One kid said, "Yo momma ain't got money for some better clothes?" Better clothes? Well, I don't know if Sean John was better than Gap but they're totally 2 different styles. I couldn't really respond without crying and I knew if I did that would make things worst. I held it together and went about my business. I was already different from most of my classmates anyway. My use of vocabulary was different, I had my British accent, and of course my clothes were different. I would say that my clothes, at that time, reflected my identity and my personality. Most of the kids in my elementary school grew up in urban culture, use slang words, wore street-style clothes; they grew up differently. I knew then that a personality and upbringing could be reflected by the image of what your wear.
Few years later, now in high school. I noticed that what I was wearing was how people treated me. As a young teenager, my style evolved from that GAP kid to the now urbanwear kid. The summer right before Freshman year, I was able to wear what ever I wanted to (within reason, my parents sometimes did see what I wore on my down times). I wanted to fit in so badly. At the time I thought, why stand out? Why have people constantly talking about what your'e wearing? Why not fit in? That's what I did. I caved to what the popular style was. I wasn't a huge fan of urbanwear but I thought it was kinda cool. The style of clothing came with a trend of music that flooded my iTunes playlists: Hip Hop. It's amazing how style not only change your style on the outside, but also you as a person. P.S. I still have that 'Sneaker Shirt.' It's a 3x. I was huge at 14.
Alright, towards the end of high school, I ended up looking like a rapper. I thought this look was interesting. However, in the back of my head I knew this wasn't me. I wore every and all hip hop labels. Girbaud, True Religion, Rocawear, and was rocking LRG and COOGI. I liked that I fit in but this was not me at all. In the summer of 2007, I started listening to rock music. I started with classic rock, then progress to alternative rock, then heavy metal and slasher music. I loved this. I wanted that to represent me. I love the look of Sebastian Bach, Gene Simmons, and F****** Dee Snider. I loved black. It was like a comfort to me. I thought the alternative look was so amazing that I dressed up like my favorite musicians in my room. Dare I go public wearing that, I would pretty much be ridiculed. I still had to keep the hip hop look up. Every day I wore that kind of clothing, each day I dreaded it. I had to keep appearances. Retrospectively, I thought it was funny. Why the hell am I wearing grills?
Hello College! I'm finally free! Well, not really but independence is surely crowning. I thought that this was my fresh start. My inital outlook into world. I'm stepping into a new territory of life where I can call the shots. I did, but it also lead to a groggy, confusing time. My first two years of college were great. I knew that I wanted to go into broadcast journalism. I wanted to be heard on the radio and be seen on TV. I don't want to get too much into my weight at this time ( I want to dedicate a post about weight and self-image later on) but I was in transition of my body. I used to play football and I ate a lot. I was my highest weight was 320 during 2008-09. I didn't look big but I am a tall guy and the weight certainly filled out my body. After gaining the Freshman 25, (Freshman 15 was not even on the radar.) I decided to start losing weight. At the time I was living in the dorms and in that moment, I felt very awkward. My style was kinda all over the place. I was still into hip hop a little, and thought prints and textiles were great (when you can work them into a outfit). I started wearing skinny jeans for the first time and thought I was on top of the world. I didn't think my style was, either. I felt okay in my clothes but not fully happy in them. I felt that I wanted to transition from my former urban look to my rocker look but I couldn't acheive. My body was changing and I couldn't handle it at the time. So this was the best I could do. Shout out to my roomie Dennis, you are so fly and encouraging with my fashions.
When there's change there's evolution. Now I'm the most comfortable with fashion and style ever! I have paid attention to my personal style and grabbing inspiration to help facilitate it. I was encourage by Teen Vogue, GQ, TOPSHOP TOPMAN, Yves Saint Laurent, Thome Brown, Versace and other desginers and stores. I am now comfortable in the fashion I'm representing in my wardrobe and accessories. I wanted to do this back in high school. I wanted my inside to reflect my outside. But I couldn't because of what people would say. I'm 23 now. I'm still sooooo young to completely lose myself into this [FASHION] world but I think that this is a great start for myself. I kinda wish that I could let my 16-year-old self know that you can do anything you want, and be whoever you want. I could only draw up my experiences but do what you love. Wear what you love. Here comes the real, honest talk: life is too short. I remember highs school like it was yesterday and I'm graduating college in 2 months! Do what you love. If I wore what I wanted wear back in high school, people might question it. Raise hell. May talk about you (and yo momma!). But also, some might like it. You could set an example of what your style and individuality can do for self-image and others. I think that you could even be a trend-setter. I only wish I could have had that courage to be that kind of individual. Things would have been better, I think. Now that I've shared my style over the years, what was your style like when you were younger? What's your style now? What are you drawn to? Has it changed? Please feel free to tell me. This is a no-judge zone. I would love to hear about it.
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