Ghosted

he/him. 20. Mostly just thoughts and daily updates. My digital diary 📖

[httpskulz]

[anditfeltlikeakiss444]

“You deserve to eat🥺” take one GOOD look at me

[artiumghosted]

Why am I incapable of enjoying unhealthy foods. Not that I dislike it, more like I just inhale it. I did so good all day, then my friend bought me a ben and Jerry's, he guilted me into eating it (I'm not blaming him, btw, I know it's my fault) and insted of having just some of it, I ate the whole tub and then some candy. I haven't eaten candy in so long. Then this friend visits and he's determined to spoil me rotten, says I have some kilos to gain back anyway

[artiumghosted]

I think the best part of posting on tumblr was the shame. I didn't wanna lie about my fasting time or calorie intake. Knowing I'd post about it kept me in check. The shame of telling anyone who stumbled upon my post about my failings was enough. And the pride I felt from sharing my accomplishments and the interactions with the community. It was even more motivation than the numbers themselves, and I love those numbers

[artiumghosted]

I'm starting this over again, I kinda fell off for a month and gained more than I'd like.

Height: 178cm 5'10

Weight: 85,4kg

Bmi: 27

Gw 1: 65kg

Gw 2: 50kg

Hw: 113kg

Lw: 57kg

[nclsny]

soup is honestly the b1gg3st s4f3 f00d ever.

- l1qu1d f4st1ng but want something substantial? -> SOUP

- want something warm and l0w c4l0r13? -> SOUP

- wanna consume an entire can for under 250 c4l0r13s? -> YEAH GET THAT GODDAMN SOUP

- want a reliable f00d that comes in SO MANY VARIETIES AND TAKES LIKE 5 MINUTES OR LESS TO PREPARE? -> SOUP BITCH

reblog if ur a fucking #soupwhore bc same

[artiumghosted]

Sometimes, I get genuinely excited thinking about this disorder killing me or making me so physically ill I end up hospitalised.

I know it's messed up, but I'm so sick of being mentally ill and in the psych ward. I want to see the sickness. I want others to see it.

[artiumghosted]

The last few days, I've been so hungry at night, like I've wanted to eat everything in my kitchen, especially the unhealthy stuff. And I can't throw it all away either because I'm temporarily living with my mom

[artiumghosted]

When I look in the mirror, I don't see a fat person. But I think I'm wrong, I think that what I'm seeing isn't actually correct, and everyone else sees me as a fat pig. I can see that I'm skinny, but I just know I'm fat

[artiumghosted]

Cauliflower rice is actually so good, decently filling and very low cal

[artiumghosted]

Why do I wanna eat literally everything in my kitchen all of a sudden. And I have guests, so I can't even 4urg3 afterwards.

I did a 40h fast, then had some soup. Why can't my body be happy with that?

[bleedingvuitton]

too relatable

[artiumghosted]

I was supposed to use this blog unfiltered, but I'm terrified that any of my friends will find it and recognize enough to realize it's my account. They can't know just how disordered my thinking is

[artiumghosted]

I really like having this for a late breakfast/lunch, it's only 79 calories, taste great and is fairly filling

[artiumghosted]

“Vera and I are going to be beautiful and light, nocturnal and earthy; beautiful, the crusts of earth unfolding us. Hollow, dancing skeletons."

-No Flesh over our Bones, by Mariana Enríquez

[artiumghosted]

Had some watermelon, cottage cheese and frozen grapes. This might be my favourite low cal meal

[artiumghosted]

I had a nightmare about my weight going up significantly. And now I'm scared of weighing myself