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d e v o n

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@httpskulz
oh the urge to do something awful.
feeling like suicide is the only actual solution
death & suicide are always on my mind
Quiet BPD culture is “I’m fine and I have friends :)”
Friends don’t give me nearly enough attention for 5 seconds
“I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself. They hate me and I’m not deserving of friends I’m so annoying and terrible”
.
It feels like the whole world is against me…
I feel like I'm destined to always fuck things up.
Maybe my death would fix everyone's problems
I don’t know how to live, I just survive through the pain.
I’ve been really drained, forcing myself to smile, pretend i'm happy and ok. However in reality, I’m tired and want to give up on everything. I don't know why I’m feeling like this, but one thing is for sure, I know I’m mentally drained and want it all to end.
The devil couldn't reach me so he gave me severe abondamment and attachment issues
vibrating in suicidal ideation.
Turns out showing the pain you feel changes nothing
I can’t stop
I get high to take the pain away ❤️🩹
FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT, FUCKING BIG BACK ASS, STOP EATING…I’m so fucking fat… I don’t deserve it, I don’t deserve any food… I need to lose weight, I can’t do this… I can’t…