Recently have been messing with the lasso tool for shading, I think it went really well.
Also have ishdon as a present since I kept seeing them on tiktok and they seemed pretty cute lol
For anyone wondering where I was for the past week, I've been grinding on library of ruina since I started like a few days ago, so here's a Chesed chibi cuz I finally got him lol ✌️ (Still stuck on QoH oh my days bro)
wilt getting me into madoka magica is the single most horrendous thing to happen to me since i got into signalis and honkai impact 3rd and gushing over magical girls and--
most tragic thing about wanting to see more stuff of your oc is that the c is o and YOU have to make the stuff. devastating. why can’t art of my beautiful baby just appear in my hands. just materialize under my pillow, like from the tooth fairy
cringe and free bloodfiend (oh hey it rhymes)
i wanted to see sancho depicted with pure don quixote-like whimsy and no longer ashamed of herself instead of being a moody teenager....
thinking about sancho (in the context of my hcs) finally being able to express her take on the ideal of the paragon fixer without feeling as if shes defying the promise she made to her father by not behaving the exact same way Don Quixote does cuz either way shes still chasing that dream
cringe and free bloodfiend (oh hey it rhymes)
i wanted to see sancho depicted with pure don quixote-like whimsy and no longer ashamed of herself instead of being a moody teenager....
you have a lot of nerve to be contacting me when i can't even contact back. still stepping over my boundaries i see. sure, i don't like him, but if he wants to look, it's not like i'm doing anything online these days besides occasionally posting here and JUST here. maybe a video here or there on yt. but you have no right to be dming me.
long ass read below. it's just me screaming into the void atp.
if he's getting treatment, cool. idm or care. i do want him out of my life for what he said about me to you, but i'm not okay with how your ableism to him passed over to me.
i was, by medical definition, not in my right mind. but you're surprised that i had no meds when my old provider just fucking disappeared? during CHRISTMAS? TO WHICH YOU KNEW ABOUT??? christ almighty.
if you think that an apology is going to smooth things over and that i'll forgive you after what you did to not only me, but to ishmael, to yan, to hong lu, to sancho, to ryoshu, and my son in the stardust system, ares, then you have some serious self reflection to do.
i trusted you so much. i had the hard conversations with you because i respected you. i made SURE that you were sure and not compromising for my sake. i told you that i did not want to be worshipped, and i did not want to be below you. i truly did want to have you in my future. but damn, you really just loved the idea of me rather than me. if you really had to walk on eggshells around me, it was because you couldn't talk to me. i can't fix issues that i don't know about.
you forcefully feminized and using my body dysmorphia against me. i had to coddle you whenever i deleted my nudes because of my issues. god forbid i have issues with my body, right?
not only would you forcefully insert sexual remarks against the boundaries of my inner-system relationships you continued to ignore them in cases with sancho and hong lu, both who had to emphasize in their bios that they are asexual/on the ace spectrum so that you didn't make sexual comments about or to them. and this was AFTER we told you to stop flirting with other members that you weren't dating. twice.
i have proof of everyone in that place's shitty twitter fandom mindset of "witch hunt this person because i don't like them" or "witch hunt this person cus they did something i didn't like" when you poked the bear. sure, i'm a dick. i can admit that i am a dick. but when i go to apologize and you tell people that i used to love that i didn't want to?
i KNOW you forced them to cut me off. RB and H texted me at the same time. H knew about me wanting to apologize. word for word, during psychosis i may add, "the only think i know i can't do rn is have her know i'm sorry, but i feel like i can't be 'truly sorry' unless i'm no longer angry about how mistreated i feel" and don't even get me fucking started on the Stardust System.
now with them, how vile of you and your echo chamber to threaten them with cutting them out after saying they were fine with keeping contact with them. AH YES LET'S THREATEN TO CUT OFF A GRIEVING SYSTEM'S SUPPORT SYSTEM BECAUSE YOUR ISSUES ARE MORE IMPORTANT THAN SOMEONE'S LEGAL GUARDIAN PASSING AWAY! how wonderful! how proud you must be to force them to cut me off! you know, a system i have known for years! the system who has spent years of their life wishing to fix things between us and i couldn't due to other people. the system that velours has very intricate history with. the system that grieved me like i had died. the system that had paranoia episodes around the time i had my breakup with j-name. the system i had dreams about reconnecting with and vice versa even YEARS after our initial split 6 fucking years ago.
the stardust system. the one that has avalon's twin brother, MY BIOLOGICAL CHILD ARES. not to mention i have more than just HIM in that system considering there's also eleos. you'd know about my family if you had your head out of your ass.
and i'm extremely worried for them because while i was stressing about apologizing to you and hoping that things would just cool down and that i'd finally get something from this bullshit medical system we're in, i actually cared. i tried to comfort them too. but you just couldn't stand that someone hurt your widdle feewings. so sure. let's focus on our break up instead of the ACTIVELY SUICIDAL PERSON.
because i was unable to seek treatment, which i told people about, you abandoned me like a toy that lost its value. because of my bpd, which i only told you about because i trusted you, you used it against me you ableist piece of shit. i was at my worst. i was asking for help. i wanted the people i loved to support me. and yet i was forced to bottle it up for your sake. but yes, i'm the villain because i reinforced my boundaries aggressively. you couldn't frame it in a way that didn't put you at fault, so you made my former loved ones cut me off because your ego is more important than admitting you were wrong.
you're a coward. you're not as bad as j-name, as bad as k-name (to which i admit i mishandled), or as bad as the exes i've never mentioned. you're in a camp of your own for what you did to us. don't bother sending your guard dogs after me because i've done this before.
i did everything i could and it wasn't enough for you. get out. stay out. let me see my real family again.
dededos
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janainaart
dailybridgerton
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