Sometimes I think it would be so much easier if we didn’t love each other like that.
Like that I mean all consumingly.
Like that I mean i wish sometimes we weren’t so in love with each other that we possess so much power over each other.
Like that I mean I wish my heart would stop skipping a couple of beats every time I see u, that ur mind is not contestant wrapped around me, or so u say.
Like that I mean I wish I didn’t want to kiss u all as often as I do or that I didn’t feel the best in ur arms and u liked my eyes and talking to me.
Yes, I do sometimes wish we weren’t so strong, so perfect, so … endgame.
And I know u don’t like it when I say endgame, but it feels like that. That’s the only way I can describe it.
U feel like endgame, like u are it for me and that’s it.
And maybe that’s why I wish sometimes we weren’t what we were - because, God, we are so young, sometimes it feels like we are too young to be able to hold all this feelings inside us. It feels like people learn their entire lives to love like this.
They learn their entire lives for this, they prepare to love like this.
But we weren’t prepared, love, I wasn’t at least.
So sometimes I think, why, God, why do I have to be so insanely in love with u? Why we gotta love each other so much?
Then, always, every time I think such thoughts, I smile.
Because maybe we are extremely young and we might not seem prepared whatsoever, God knows I am never prepared, when am I ever.
And it’s scary, but every time I contradict myself.
I am prepared to love u for the rest of my life and yes, it’s scary, but so are roller coasters and late nights , and quite frankly, sex, and yet, they are some of the best parts of life.
So yes, I do sometimes wish we didn’t love each other so much, but I always end up realising we love each other like this, because we were meant to.Â
Because every time I say “I wish I didn’t love u so much” I end up releasing I can’t even describe how much I love u. I myself might never know.
U run deep inside my veins, love, so quite frankly, I should be ready.
And every time I talk to u or even just see u, I know we are doing it right.