A Seahorse's Insight @aseahorsesinsight - Tumblr Blog

badjokesbyjeff

Professor X asks a girl, “what is your mutant power?”

Girl replies: “I can guess how many pulls to turn a ceiling fan off on the first try!”

She points up and says: “3 pulls”

Professor X stands up and pulls 3 times. After the third pull the fan turns off.

Professor X: “Yeah thats cool and all, but not really a super power…”

Girl: “Yeah I was jut kidding, I can heal paraplegics”

Professor X, still standing: “Oh my god”

riokollivier

*Breathes in*

JEFF!

Been dealing with a lot lately and it's all been so overwhelming. Mopping my floor to try and wash away the trauma that has been these last 8 months.

Would you believe that this floor was mopped before I arrived?

Yes! 🙌🏾

Absolutely not 🤢

Voting ended onMay 23

freakoutgirl

I don't trust anyone with my vulnerability except 10,000 strangers on Tumblr

catasters

pronouncingitwang

at some point in your life you will be boiling fruit, water, sugar, and lemon juice in a pot to make a syrup or jam. the instructions will tell you to simmer for a certain amt of time. your timer will go off and you will look at the pot and go, "hm, this doesn't look thick enough. maybe i'll let it go for another 10 minutes." this is the devil speaking. it's only so liquid right now because it is at boiling point. it will thicken when it cools down. learn from the follies of my youth and do not let this happen to you

yokowan

at some point in your life you will be making a sauce or a stew in which you need to add cornstarch to thicken it. and you will prepare a slurry of starch in cold water and think "this looks like way too little starch to thicken this amount of liquid." this is the devil speaking. cornstarch instantly polymerizes at 95°C and if you add too much it will turn into an impossibly thick goop.

le-jardin-inculte

at some point in your life you will be making some sort of cream based dessert that requires gelatin to thicken it. and you will soak some gelatin sheets in water and think "this is too few gelatin sheets for this amount of cream." this is the devil speaking. it will thicken in the fridge and if you add too much you will end up with milk jelly

shithowdy

at some point in your life you will be baking cookies. you will take the sheet out after twelve minutes as the recipe instructs and the cookies will still be glistening and soft. "these don't seem cooked enough," you will think to yourself, "i should place them back into the oven until their edges are nice and golden." this is the devil talking. this is how you get dry, overdone cookies. the cookies will continue to bake on the warm sheet for several more minutes and then harden up after sitting on a rack for a while. trust the process. trust the process.

anthropophagiaa-deactivated2026

Girls always start dating the most awful man and start saying things like "he's my rock." Yesss girl, and you are Sisyphus. Have fun with that one.

iosonomer-blog

mandsleanan

Minding your own business and some fucking scarab just rolls a big ball of shit over you

cryoverkiltmilk

How do you go on with life after that?

cipheramnesia

It's just like working retail for real.

lild3m0nsworld

sweetlikeacherry

to anyone reading this: be proud of yourself for continuing on— even when you thought you couldn’t hold on any longer. I see you, I love you, and I am routing for you every step of the way.

guerrillatech

segamascott

like to charge reblog to cast obviously

sunfortune

went on someone’s blog who didn’t post in over a year and their last post was about getting married. like your marriage is more important than posting on tumblr? grow up

beforeyouletitallgo-deactivated

Describe me in one word anonymously.

colemckenzies

shout out to the doctor who looked at my physical results and said 'you will live to 100!' and then looked at my mental health results and said '...if you want to'