[Yasmin Benoit: You barely see asexual people as it is, let alone a black asexual person.
I am a model and an asexuality activist, and I am an aromantic asexual.
There was never really a time where I didnāt think I was asexual. I noticed when I was about eight and I was in primary school like everyoneās hormones seemed to kick in and all of a sudden the boys and girls didnāt want to just play with each other; they were going out with each other and they fancied each other and I was like, āAlright, whatās this?ā
The default is straight so when people would ask me Iād be like āWell I guess Iām straight but I donāt like boys.ā And they were like: āWell then youāre probably not straight.ā They said: āWell do you like girls?ā and I was like āNo, I donāt really like anybody.ā And they were like: āWell maybe youāre asexual or something?ā And I was like āAlright, that sounds good.ā So I Googled that and I was like āYeah, sounds about right.ā So when I was about 14, I just started using that word.
I find that most of the time, in my personal life, people just kind of re-interpret it their own way. So Iāll say: āHey, Iām asexualā and theyāll be like: āOh ok, so youāre well behaved.ā Theyāll just switch it. Iāll be like āIām asexualā and theyāll be like: āOh, youāll find the right person, donāt worryā and Iāll be like āThatās not what I said.ā
It has nothing to do with being a prude, it has nothing to do with being insecure, and antisocial, and introverted. It has nothing to do with how you lookāthatās something I get a lotāpeople are like: āOh but youāre good looking, you donāt need to be asexual,ā which usually tells me that A) people think that there is an asexual look and that it isnāt a good one, and 2) that asexuality is a choice that people take when they canāt get dates or that they canāt get laid, which is really strange.
One of the benefits of being asexual is definitely that you donāt have to worry aboutāif youāre aromanticāyou really donāt worry about relationship stuff. I know some asexual people do worry about that but I donāt have that problem.
I think that representation is definitely very important because I think the LGBTQIA+ community in general is pretty whitewashed in its representation. That is not only ironic for the community thatās supposed to be so inclusive and diverse if it doesnāt look like that, itās also counterproductive for minorities that are part of it because itās kind of seen as being a white thing, which definitely doesnāt help when you are trying to come out and people donāt take it seriously in your community because itās seen as being this white kid thing.
Even in the LGBTQIA community, I find that people tend to cut out the A or think that the A stands for allies. I notice a lot of the time in organisations or in the media, people only care about the LGBT part and even though they put the plus, they donāt actually acknowledge the plus. But last time I checked the community is about, you know, people that arenāt heteronormative and they donāt fit that and itās supposed to be inclusive of that. I think that LGBTQIA+ platforms should do a better job of acknowledging whatās in the plus and not just the LGB and the T.]
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