Dear Tumblr,
Hello Tumblr. I write to you tonight due to my struggle with a potion concoction I am currently brewing. I intend on brewing a potion capable of turning the consumer entirely invisible. You may be asking yourself and/or your computer screen; "But Ashel, how will you complete a task so complex and grandiose? One my feeble, walnut sized brain cannot comprehend? Oh please tell, Ashel, please!" And the answer is simple my bog-minded prospective friend. What is usually invisible? That is right, ghosts. Ghouls, banshees, poltergeists, the whole lot of them. So naturally the conclusion is that I must brew the potion from the essence of ghosts. And for that, I must collect souls. Necromancy has never been my strong suit, I only merely dabbled with it back in college, but I have been able to extract the souls of the varmints that scurry around in my cellar. And now you may be asking yourself and/or your computer screen; "But Ashel the Great and Powerful, how does one extract a soul from a creature as lowly as a common, plague-ridden rat? Does a soul not imply a higher power, one looking down and judging us as we live our lives? How does something as dim-witted and primally driven as a rat have such a complex concept living inside of them? A soul, the very essence of our being, is only reserved for those that have reached a form of greater understanding, beyond the need to scavenge and shelter betwixt the cobbles of a great wizard's cellar, the ability to reason and choose between what is right, and what is wrong. The understanding that all that surrounds us is part of a grand collective, of life, breathing and surviving and dying, giving to the world its own soul. So how do these rats have souls, please tell me oh truly divine wizardess! Please before I gouge my eardrums out, as I refuse to hear anything forever besides your heavenly truth!" And to that I answer, it is quite easy to enrich the rats into developing a strong sense of morality and the fear of god. I read them approximately 684 hours of fine literature (including Shakespeare, Dostoevsky, and Pilkey), showed them at least 40 romantic comedy films (they seemed to like this "Adam Sandler" quite a bit), and even fed them 3 American Hot Dogs, EACH! Studies concluded that this 100% gave them all god-fearing souls, but one issue remains. When I spill their blood into my brewing cauldron, the mix runs red and the end result tastes much like rat carcass. And worse of all, the potion doesn't even make you entirely invisible! It makes you less opaque, yes, but I am going for a full on "See Through" effect, you understand? So I come to you Tumblr, in hopes that you can afford me some aid in these trying times. It took me about an hour to type all of this out, as it is difficult to type on my orb with less-than opaque fingers.
Yours Humbly,
Ashel The Arcane
