My brain is an asshole

This is my ranting blog, my head space blog, my insanity blog. Anything I write is directly related to how I'm feeling and this is my way of venting. If you don't like it, don't read it. Cheers

[ashestoashesdustdust]

I don't know what to feel anymore. I don't know what to do. Videos, cuts, drugs... my mind can't take it I can't believe they did this to me. I can't do it

[ashestoashesdustdust]

Don't tell me what I think you'll say...

[ashestoashesdustdust]

So like I met this girl and it's been three days and she's already coming to my sets to hear me sing and like.... I already wrote a song about her. I don't think I've fallen for someone this hard and this fast before holy fuck

[ashestoashesdustdust]

It was too good to be true..

[ashestoashesdustdust]

I don't understand depression. Or more specifically I don't understand my own depression. The biggest question I've had since I noticed what was happening was why? Why do I feel like this? Why, when I look out across the bridge while driving, do I casually consider driving off? And I think the simple answer is, there is no reason. It's just what depression is. And that's what bothers me, not being able to say why I feel like this. It's knowing that I will never be able to fully explain something inside of me because it can't be explained. Fuck this

[ashestoashesdustdust]

I met someone new. I broke up with my ex almost three months ago now and I was doing pretty bad. Then I met Jackie. I was drunk at Fame a lgbt nightclub when I met her, I was drunk as fuck and she was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. I kissed her and got her number. A month later I've seen her six times since then and... i've fallen so hard for her it's ridiculous. She's four years older than me, she's been with girls before so she's not using me as a fling, she constantly makes it clear she likes me, I've even spent a night at her house. This seems too good to be true, she's way too good for me. She's a flipping model for Christ's sake. I just hope... I just hope this is real. I hope she wants this as much as I do

[ashestoashesdustdust]

I don't know if i'm overreacting. My gf's phone broke and she wait almost three weeks to tell me. Just let me sit there and wonder what was going on and why she wasn't talking to me. And then after like it was no big deal when she finally told me. I'm hurting but I don't even know if it's justified

[n4ughty-y]

Our bodies could be skin on skin and I’d still pull you closer.

(via crgasmic)

[japotecture]

[hawkeyedflame]

always reblog asian clam harvester

[ashestoashesdustdust]

Hold me please

[ashestoashesdustdust]

And her eyes held the sunshine but I never noticed the clouds in the distance

I wish I knew her thoughts

[ashestoashesdustdust]

Music seems to actually be helping a lot, i'm finally able to get a handle on what's happened to me through songwriting. I can only hope I'm good enough for this

[ashestoashesdustdust]

I'm back again. Yay. Or something

[ashestoashesdustdust]

I remember one time you burnt a hole in my mattress. your cigarette fell and you frantically tried to stop it, apologizing profusely and panicking

In our relationship you became the lighter and I was the mattress, you tried to stop hurting me, apologizing profusely and panicking

I didn’t understand then

I do now

[ashestoashesdustdust]

The hardest thing about having your main blog be a blog that is known for helping people is that when you aren’t doing so good you feel like you can’t ask for help. Because everyone following you looks to you to help them. And honestly I’m better at helping other people than myself. I feel so trapped in life right now...

[ashestoashesdustdust]

getting real fucking tired of having my heart stomped on. real fucking tired

[southerngirlk-deactivated201812]

I don’t want to have the world’s attention. Yours is enough.

(via andthesorcerersstoned)