👸🏻

[kemdraw]

You aren’t born gay. You chose to watch Scooby-Doo! and the Witch’s Ghost featuring the Hex Girls and now you’re like this.

[mcavoy]

[speedlimit15]

*pronounces “hors d’oeuvres” as “horse divorce”*

[unfollower-deactivated20260220]

peekaboo is essentially just making fun of babies for not understanding object permanence 

[hamfootsia-deactivated20230411]

#i’ve made fun of babies for less

[thebootydiaries]

Grown ass men still smoking cigarettes. Snort cocaine like the rest of us Coward

[luna--starlight]

Okay but cigarettes haven’t been known to be cut with Fentynal and make people (instantaneously) drop dead

[thebootydiaries]

You fool. What is manlier than death

[redfingerfish]

2 deaths

[thebootydiaries]

I am giving you 3 minutes to delete this comment

[thebootydiaries]

Someone: You're so dramatic!

Me, with a rose between my lips, throwing glitter around, dressed in evening wear during the day, draping myself across a piano: I have no idea what you're talking about

[grigiogurl-deactivated20170801]

me before work: i hate work i would honestly rather die than set foot in that building even just the idea of working makes my stomach churn FUCK working FUCK my boss FUCK the customers and mostly FUCK capitalism

me at work: honestly? this isn’t bad! i’m just doing my thing! making some money! it’s not like i would be doing anything constructive at home anyway! i love working! 

me after work:  that was the worst day of my whole entire life i wish i was dead FUCK working FUCK my boss FUCK the customers and mostly FUCK capitalism

[surprisebitch]

THE BIGGEST WORKING IN RETAIL MOOD

[ruinedchildhood]

Avengers: Endgame (2019) dir. The Russo Brothers

[obsessioninc]

Just gonna say: There is literally no romance in Thor: Ragnarok. No romance subplots, no kissing. The closest thing to it is when Hulk sees part of a video of Black Widow and it turns him back into Bruce Banner. Besides that? Nothing. It was awesome.

[tini-ballerini]

False there is a clearly defined 3 seconds where its implied that Loki went down on Jeff Goldblum.

[obsessioninc]

This is the only argument to this post that I will accept

[dontgoforsecondbest]

[nippon-com]

Japan’s vast assortment of mascots all share a similar problem.

Via @GorillaGorillax

[metalslugx-deactivated20220413]

Goth Clowns are just Mimes 

[mariopowertennis]

My gf who works with clowns says that mimes came first so technically clowns are just Scene Mimes 

[orchidvioletindigo]

Your gf who works with clowns

[giajade]

Have you ever just randomly cried because you’ve been holding shit in for too long?

[aliilovely]

Every week

[trippietxxsh]

at least three times a week

[melanin-king]

I definitely read this wrong…I was gonna suggest more fiber in y'all diet

[myboyfriendpetebuttigieg]

I’m not your average skateboarder. I don’t “dress like a stoner.” I don’t “know how to skateboard.” I don’t “disrespect authority.” I’ve never “been on a skateboard.”

[showerponderings]

“Word “synonym” doesn’t have a synonym, but antonym of word “antonym” is synonym”

— http://ifttt.com/missing_link?1547079965

[wuqs]

[gostle]

me laying in bed at night thinking about how ugly i am